• Member Since 15th Oct, 2022
  • offline last seen March 4th

Orchid241


Comments ( 10 )

So... is your OC a vampire or what? It's kinda hard to understand what happened aside from the pony that was murdered possibly by a vampire. Also. Twilight sends the letter to Princess Celestia by herself? Without Spike's help?

And a tip: When editing, there's an icon of a single horizontal line. You can click that button to make an horizontal line like this:


you can also press 'ctrl+h' to make one appear. It looks better than using '============' to change scenes.

You should delete the (my OC) part on the long description. You can say that in an author's note at the end or beginning of the first chapter. Heck, the description of your account already tells us about your OC.

11423670
First, she isn't a vampire, you'll get to know a little more about her in the second chapter. And that whole mystery behind what happened was the point. It would lead the readers to having to guess what happened before they found out. I like seeing what people think regarding mysteries I put in stories. Hopefully it'll be more interesting when they find out? And for the thing with the letter- I mean, in another fanfiction titled "One" twilight did that too. I could probably still change it though- perhaps I could add a small bit where Rarity finds them?

I shall definitely keep that tip in mind- I'll add it soon, thanks for letting me know

Fair point, I'll edit those too. thank you still for reading this and giving me the feedback. I need any that I can get to improve this and any future fanfictions that I write.

This seems too short to judge but... It's not too bad... and it's not super good.... so, it's decent... for now.... but I'm excited to read this through. It's a bit interesting... I'm guessing Orchid is an oc? and Golden Flash as well?

11424107
Technically yes. Orchid is an OC and Golden Flash is just a name and design I randomly came up with. I intend for this story to include a few real, and quite dark elements so hopefully you'll enjoy seeing it unfold once it gets to that point. I look forward to writing more very soon, I'm working on the second part right now. I hope you read the next chapter once it's ready!

ah I always sleep in mid day as well!!! It can happen! This is getting a bit interesting. I do like the premise here. Especially the end part.

11448158
I'm very glad to hear that you liked it! I'm looking forward to writing the next part

11423745

And for the thing with the letter- I mean, in another fanfiction titled "One" twilight did that too.

Can I please get a link to that story?

11508489
I can't find the story on here it seems but here's a link to a reading of it
https://youtu.be/XjGSsfDjWGc

11448158
sorry that it took so long- But I finally posted the third part of the story. You're possibly the one who's supported this the longest so I figured I should let you know in case you were interested in seeing it! I hope you like it!

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