Oh God, yes... gambling... sadly, one of my addictions that has yet to fail me. This gon' get featured!

Edit at 7:52: DUDE I FORGOT TWO THINGS!

There is a capital f in from that should be common(blame Gdocs) as well as, 'apparently'and 'apparent' seem kinda redundant, and also... three(my bad) I was so busy, I never expected to be out for six hours! Sorry, once again that I could have only done one run through of it.

Oh Rainbow
What have you gotten yourself into this time?

1280650 wait... what?

rd clopfic?
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-9x8UR5fA7pA/TtV7wB7VF3I/AAAAAAAAAVk/t9rgqsOkCvo/chaching.gif

This... Is going to be really great... And weird... Great but weird...

This will be interesting.

Interesting story idea, will read it when I'm in a cloppy mood.

From,
Ask SpazBat

I'm going to save that pic....

This ought to be interesting.

This all depends on how you say 'This is going to be one hell of a week'.
The same can be said for 'Oh god it's everywhere!'

Huh. Interested where this goes. Although I was kinda hoping the gambling would be through poker, but this works, even if it did happen a little fast.

YES. ALL OF MY YES.

Oh this is going to be biblical

1283931 I don't lose in gambling.

WE NEED THAT AWWWWW YEAH! MEME!

static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1339968333858_8047771.png

Its not TwiLuna, but that'll do pig, that'll do.

I must follow this... until I am either amused or horrified...

1284238

Yeah, probably would have made more sense if it was gambling through actual gambling. Would have forced it to take a little longer, too. Hard to rush a game of poker, yanno?

1284391 fair enough.

this one looks good but we will have to wait and see

looking forward to it

That image...

*Drools*

I am so reading this

Edit: Just read and I like where this is going. It's going to be so awesome.

OMG need moar

Much as I want to heap only praise on this... the pacing is terrible. And it seems a bit light on description, which will hopefully change when we get to the actual clop. Even with all that, it's just a clopfic, so I'll probably keep reading and enjoy anyway.

1284684 It's still better than my last story about animal crackers.

Uhm, this is paced really fast. I'll track to see where it goes, but slow the hell down holy shit.

1284711Yes, of course.

Oh, this looks like it is going to be fun. Rainbow and Luna are both awesome characters, and throwing them together like this should be a nice combination of sweet and funny.

Not bad. I am interested. Please continue, but with more detail please.

Wow that was quick, and i'm not sure i like the 'happy peppy' Luna, but you have erned my atention, do try to keep it..

1284716 I agree that the pacing is really fast, but there IS a quick fix!

If you use these stars when you change a scene, (see below)

it makes the reader realize there was a small time skip changing from one area to the next. YOU don't have to write dialogue because the stars mean nothing important happened, and the reader can keep up better. It's a win/win!

1284987 Hmm...

1285001 Don't believe me? I use it in my transitions, and my readers think it's fine.

And that's quite a few readers, sooooo....yeah.

1285001

The [ hr] in google docs but everything is compacted within brackets.

This

I use the stars too. Like others said, pacing. Too quick. You're just too eager to get the cloppy goodness going, I think.

Also, I believe it was you who told me that Pegasi is ALWAYS capitalized, no matter the context. I see numerous instances of you not following your own rule.

Pleaheaze dont make this a clop fic for the love of Celestia dont make it a clop fic

1285079 DAMN IT! I forgot that?! I'll be fixing this RIGHT NAOWAH!

1285141 Uh... why the buck not? Don't answer that.

1285079 There! Let us never speak of this again.

Interesting. I not in to clop, but I like to see what you have planning to do.

1285160 I hate clop fics and Cloppers they make me sick

1285200 Well then, this isn't the story for you, is it. But this is.

1285154>>1285079 Pegasus is common in this case as before in mythology it was a name for a winged horse, now it is a race, so it is safe for pegasi and pegasus to be common as it is not a name for ONE creature... we don't put put dogs as capital.

Basically, it is general terminology

1285219 This is true, but I studied this for a month only to find out that it does have to be capitalized regardless of if it's a race or not. I'd elaborate, but it would take a LONG time and boredom to do so.

1280650
DUDE! Do you attend MVHS!?!

Yup. Pacing too quick. By not expanding on the details, the elements come out of nowhere, making it less realistic...AND this means the comedy doesn't hit. It's a shame, since slavefics can be HILARIOUS, especially non-cloppy ones.

So far so Amazing CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE

1285287 Yes, yes, I know. But if you'd just let me get to night #1, you'd probably be most pleased!

This looks interesting cant w8 to read the rest!

1285211 so this is going to be a clopfic