The beginning of the Bound By Blood Saga. This story focuses primarily from the perspective of Shadow Scythe as she, Zeloph, Moxxi and company venture to her home world to stop her enigmatic foe, Mortis. But he ain't the only thing to worry about.
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phew....you did outwork yourself here, didn't you?
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More like I over worked myself. Well worth it though!
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i guess so
Whoohoo, cool new cover!
:0
New cover!
That was a low blow, Moxxi.🙄
Replace with "himself".
Replace with "want".
For what reasons?😕
Um...that's a really big gamble to take. Are you sure that you can live with that loss? Seb's Onoma allows him to literally read the odds of his every contest! It's knowing when to hold 'em or fold'em cranked to 11! Ask Kenny Rogers!
You don't have to type numbers in words. It will save you a lot of time & characters.
What's wrong, Seb? Does it hurt to not be in control for once?😝
Really? You went with that meme??😑
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Atalanta, a dominatrix!? I didn;t know she was that kinky!😵
A smaller target is harder to hit.🙃
Well, that was one hell of a mood switch.😐
So all those years of abuse happened...because he's gay? Yeesh, how many homophobic parents do we have in fiction?
So you can scam them of even more money? Hell no!😠
Julianne, you didn't tell me you read Dr Seuss!😆
I'm confused as to how divorce can happen this way in fiction. As far as I understand, the appropriate documents will need to be signed & filed, whatever the grounds. Also, referring to the highlighted word, didn't Seb say he had 2 children?
"Let's put a smile on that face."
I had to look this word up & found out that it means "tolerate". Did you mean "start"?
What?? How!?😵
Mortis!? Already!?😨
Did you mean "rapist's"?
I hope Adila can survive this. She'll have a lot to explain once that hedonistic abomination is dead.
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1. Don't worry, she got her comeuppance 😈
2./3./16./20. Grammar always appreciated!
4. Only Julianne knows that one 🤷♂️
5. An excellent point. But remember; Seb’s Onoma has an equal chance to screw him as well. If he had activated it during this little game, he might have rolled low numbers.
6. I do because it makes the work feels more professional looking, though I will slip into doing the actual numbers for simplicity.
7. This whole chapter is one big Loonie Tunes routine and I love it XD
8. Hey, there’s a lot of characters that have darkness as a super power. I was bond to use it sooner or later!
9. It’s honestly not surprising, given her need to be in control. Helps keep Zeloph and Atalanta’s relationship ‘interesting’ (Which is also ironic, given their both the least sexually driven characters compared to the others lmao)
10. Classic David vs Goliath symbolism.
11. Such is the magic of musicals.
12. It’s likely nothing compared to the number of real life homophobic/unsupportive fathers. 😒
13. Never change Seb (except please do, the multiverse needs you!)
14. I am imagining Julianne reading the Cat in the Hat to children and are now making it canon.
15. It’s likely there wasn’t an actual divorce as she just left and took the kids. Also, that’s a mistake on my part as halfway through editing, I decided to make it two children instead of one to better tie in the song Seb sings. Fixing that!
18. Yeah, Shadow Scythe was born without empathy, making her a really troubled child growing up. Thankfully, Sunny and (to an extent) Zeloph helped awakened it. She might have stayed a villainess!
19. I mean, it likely wasn’t hard for him to tract them given how loudly everyone was singing and flashing their abilities :P
21. I think a more appropriate term for Viscera is sadistic.
Wait, this chapter is 17k words long!? Huh!?
I might end up splitting my comments into parts!
First of all can I mention how beautiful the cover art is? Absolutely gorgeous! I can tell how much time went into this and I have to say it was well worth the effort!
Second of all, why are people downvoting this? It should be illegal that this story along with the rest of the series get downvoted. This series is a masterpiece
Now onto commenting on what's going on in the story
(1) I like the argument that Seb, Eclipsed, Wispy, and Julianne had. First of all, like Moxxi giving Seb's new colors a green color to further show how greedy he was. I also liked how Eclipsed started their argument by kicking down Seb's stack of card, saying how much of a lazy selfish murderer he was, which then spun to the point that everyone of Eclipse's friends have murdered. Wispy and her sister were forced to kill, and Zeloph and Shadow's body count was extremely high.
Also like how Seb literally used a No U card against Wispy. Lol.
Eclipse saying that Seb was beyond redemption is like how both Beatrix and Cerise called Zeloph and Shadow unsavable. How many times were they given the chance to get a new leaf and yet they continued to do their heinous acts? Shadow literally had her memory erased and yet she still ended up turning against Beatrix thanks to Zeloph.
And yet in the end, through pain, through Beatrix, and through each other, they became better people. There's still a possibility of Seb becoming good, but of course, it's never guaranteed. But like Julianne said, they should at least try.
(2) Love how even though I can't understand what Chisana is saying (unless I used google translate), I can understand the scene perfectly between her and Wispy. It's nice seeing how Chisana was able to help Wispy use yokai magic.
(3) I still find it humorous that Arron keeps calling Zeloph a twink. Also how Zeloph was nearly able to use Arron's own ego against him so that Arron could continue working. But of course, now he'll have to go in a rematch. I also love how Shadow is protective of Zeloph. And then Moxxi comes in and wants to spar with Shadow, while kind of low key burning her.
Nevertheless, we all agree Shadow and Zeloph are meant to be together. Sorry Moxxi. I also kind of like the joke that Moxxi hasn't really gotten laid while Shadow has been riding Zeloph frequently.
(4) I'm starting to realize that if I comment on every scene, I'll probably be here all day ._.
Anyways, I like Seb complaining on how everyone else can go leave their posts but when he does so, he's getting reprimanded. Well, it's not like he was really putting much effort to 'reward' himself with a small break to begin with. I have no idea what Liar's Dice is, but the fact that Julianne is betting her purity on this is wild, especially against Seb who's entire trait is about gambling.
But then again that trait has backfired before when the odds are against him, weakening him, and Julianne's statement that she has never lost her purity despite these bets was already proven correct when she was challenged by Moxxi. I don't remember much, but I think if it weren't for Shadow interfering, Moxxi was probably going to lose? Like, Julianne's the most advanced when it comes to their demi powers and origins. She beated back Mortis when the others had a difficult time.
And of course, it was a tie. I like the further interaction with Seb complaining about how not winning anything was even worse than losing and Julianne saying how they both avoided losing. And then proceeded to kind of offer Seb a date? And Seb wondering how her antics were so blizzard yet they were landing hits on him.
Julianne is not Moxxi, yet I somehow feel she's not the polar opposite of Moxxi either. A counter-parallel to Moxxi?
(5) Also poor Eclipsed, now she's working all alone and has no idea where everyone went XD
(6) One of the reasons I'd love to see this series become an anime (or I guess hentai) would be the fights and character expressions. Love how they talk about their names, then how Shadow was able to attack Moxxi who thought she was able to predict Atalanta within the shadows, only to get tied up. The mental image of dominating Zeloph being planted into Ata's mind by Ana. And most importantly, their conversation about children and Moxxi potentially becoming a surrogate mother for the two.
I think this conversation finally made it fully dawn on me the situation Shadow is in. Sure, I knew that she can't have children, but it's up to now that I realize how depressing her situation is.
She's in love with Zeloph, the demi god that has a 100% fertilization rate. He was able to make Beatrix pregnant despite the fact that it shouldn't be possible. And yet, Atalanta on the other hand, would most likely instantly kill the baby the moment she's forced to regenerate. And even in moments of peace, the baby might still end up dying in the hostile environment that is her womb.
And yes, while Ana is offering herself as a way for Shadow to gain children, it's also kind of selfish because of how much Ana just wanted to romp with Zeloph, who now might not even be her own brother due to the Lilith connection. As she would later reflect, even though she might've tried to act good, in the end her thoughts always went back to being sinful.
I love the self reflection Moxxi did, and how even if she and Zeloph were together, his love wouldn't be enough. Just another excuse for her sinful nature. But she realizes that she has her friends, and while they would surely help her along the way, the only one who could truly free herself from her antics was herself.
I love this scene a lot, and I think I'll end the first part of my commenting here. Every single scene was so strong, no wonder why this will be 17k words! And each one is worth it.
Hmmm, I imagine that in another universe where she did fall in love with another person or abandoned her desire for Zeloph early, this scene could instead be her struggle to control her hunger, the hunger that has killed so many people. Either ways, Moxxi is a complex and fun character to read along with the rest.
End of Part I
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People likely downvote my stuff because it doesn't revolve around MLP or its characters, which... I mean, read my name, lol.
1) A lot of parallels between Eclipsed believing Seb's irredeemable and Beatrix thinking SS and Zell couldn't be allies back in Everywhere and Nowhere. It goes to show how interconnected the multiverse is!
3) Moxxi's due for some action again soon~!
4) As mentioned on her Tropes Page, Moxxi and Julianne are perfect foils to one another!
5) A little disheartened that no one's talked about the music choices, as it took me a long while to find the appropriate songs to supplant the scenes. But I'm glad the point is still getting across!
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I think using MLP as a platform/base instead of making it the center of the world has led this story to be so great and unique. The possibilities that have been unlocked are infinite and I love it!
(1) Exactly, I love that parallelism.
(3) Oh! I'd love to see that soon~
(4) Julianne's sex dungeon shows that in a way, Julianne shares some distant traits to Moxxi, but yeah overall they're kind of different. They have two different perspective basically.
(5) Let me listen to the songs then. I think this chapter has 6 songs based on the author's notes at the end. While I normally don't go to external links, I'll do it here then. Expect a review of the songs that appear!
Also I still have like... 12k words to go through? I need to read the other 75% of this chapter.
The first 25% already took up about an hour collectively ._.
Each chapter is basically a mini novelette at this point. I still love reading, but there's a reason why it takes me so long to respond when a new chapter arrives. Hence why I've decided to split my comments into parts. The fact that the story changes perspective helps create sections for me to take a break.
On a tangent relating to the story, I'm trying to work on Varys theme on Waveform. The problem I'm facing is that most VST instruments can't go low where I want them to go. I'll experiment and hopefully come up with a solution.
Hope things go well with you and Sharaz, and that you two continue to create these great stories. And I hope that you two are able to get some well-deserved rests after working so hard on this chapter.
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No rest for me, already working on more of this crossover! Thankfully it's fun and rewarding!
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Then I hope you have even more fun with it Sharaz.
Start of Part 2
(7) Arron deadlifting a tree!? According to wiki, a tree can weigh from 1000 pounds to over 2 Million!? Of course it depend on which tree along with other factors, but damn! That's huge! He can beat the world record! I imagine his punches would be immensely strong, which means anybody who can moderately tank such thing has a lot of defense or just survivability.
Though I wonder if dragons like the trident one or Spike from Shining Force 1+2 would be able to fully tank it. Or if Arron can just blow a mountainside away. Where is his limits?
Love Zeloph's ingenuity of going into cherub form and dodging Arron. Don't worry Zeloph! Clear your mind of all thoughts and soon you'll unlock Ultra Instinct!
Also Arron is destroying the entire forest. Oof.
(8) I forgot the phrase, but I guess the modified version for this situation between Arron and Zeloph would be "To fight just for the sake of fighting begets nothing". The scene is pretty good (all the scenes in this chapter/story were good), but I have to say a lot of lessons could be taken from this.
It's nice seeing the more softer, exposed side of Arron, and a bit of his past. (And I will make reviews of the songs later, maybe in a separate post)) How like Zeloph he had problems with his father, an image forced upon him and the results of either accepting or fighting against it causing him to become who he is now. So many parrallels, I love it, especially how Zeloph uses this to connect with Arron. And now Arron is on their side. I guess he needed somebody to take the weight off of him, a weight that no matter how much he increases his strength, can't be removed. Only by making himself vulnerable and weak can the yoke finally be lifted.
(9) Seb's line about how he should've just stayed with the bricks was very funny. Meanwhile as usual, Julianne's words feel so philosophical. Yes, she isn't selling them and gaining money, but she is gaining gratitude, a different type of currency. It's all about perspective.
Seb also trying to play a game only to get rejected despite the huge amount of money he has was interesting as well. Julianne's speech sounded very accurate. More lessons to take away from this story! Seb forcing himself to be nice was kind of hilarious.
"Just take the fu- His name is Mister Tebs." XD XD XD
It was kind of nice seeing him give the stuffed animal, and we immedietly get a backstory, how Seb began to get deeper and deeper into gambling, almost putting his family at risk once before eventually losing them as his wife left him. No matter how much money he had, he couldn't buy her back. And then the Divine Father, much like with Arron, picked him up.
I think the definition "You Feel Your Sins Crawling On Your Back" from Undertale reflected a lot of the cast at one point. They've all gone so far in their descent that even if they could turn back, start again, they didn't see how they could go back. Luckily enough, despite how far down they've gone, they were still redeemable, a glimmer of a good person they once were or could be was still in them, and thanks to others they were able to be free of that burden they had.
(10) Yeah, as Julianne said, redemption isn't easy, especially if you have people who still remember what you did. But it is still possible. But like done before, the one the criminal asks for forgiveness states how they would never forgive before turning around. Cause again, redemption and forgiveness isn't easy.
Forgive but not forget. Eclipse is doing the anti of one and following the other.
(11) Huzzah, I'm like 60% done! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
The moment I read Shadow Scythe going back to her old house, now in ruins thanks to the battle, I instantly compared it to Empty House, the Genocide version of HOME. Short summary, since you killed Toriel and the others, HOME no longer was your home, just an Empty House, just like Shadow Scythe's removal from her family led to her family becoming broken.
I feel empathy for Shadow, who now knowing the terrible wrong she did, probably wished she could've undone everything. But the scene where even after everything, Quiver Bolt still forgive Atalanta was so touching. Yeah, this scene did remind me much of Undertale's HOME scene. No matter what you did, Toriel would always forgive you.
This scene, another touching moment. And hopefully yeah, hopefully Atalanta would be able to help free Quicksilver before his soul becomes erased, his memories forgotten. I would like to imagine that eventually, her family would be reunited in heaven. Together. Whole.
At least Zeloph and Shadow could become wholes together. Nice scene when Quiver Bolt got to meet Zeloph as well. Ah, how Shadow truly changed.
And then we have more of Zeloph's backstory (this chapter has been full of backstories, redemptions, and songs for all of them eh?), how Zeloph chose to go with Metatron to save Jonn and how he would say how his friend was stronger than him, refusing the Divine Father which ended up costing his own life.
It's nice how the two of them comfort each other. But of course, Mortis has to return riding Andrei (but I just prefer to call him Trident)
End of Part 2 (Sings "It's Been So Long!" from that FNAF song while looking at the 20% left and the time I used to write this XD)
Start of Part 3 (I feel there will be a part 4 for the songs, but we'll just count Part 3 as the final comment section)
(12) Aw, Adila wants to go meet her cousins, go on an adventure, and get to explore Noble Savage tribes for some fun. Welp, oof, I feel her world could be turned upside down soon.
Also Adila is using social media? How interesting. What platform would she be on? And who knows, maybe it would've been a good idea if she had livestreamed it. Oh wait, the egg! Ok, maybe she should live stream this!
They also find Varys, and while they do credit him with much of their technology, it's quite interesting to see how she says he soon ended up limiting them, and how even though they don't really know how to use his tech, surely they figure it out.
And of course, they get assaulted by the newborn avian creature. Maybe it's a good idea if they just run. Or else they'll be corrupted or die, then get corrupted.
Yeah Adila, I don't think you should go to the hovercraft. It'd make a lot of noise and it'll probably catch up or simply use a large AOE attack to finish you off. Forget running, just hide.
(13) Nephilim sounds like a genuinely interesting character! I wonder if this would've been Beatrix had she fallen to the dark side or had been born without a soul, just a vessel for the Necronomicon. However unlike Beatrix, she doesn't have a loving mother, and worst of all, she's in direct contact with the Necronomicon, unlike Beatrix who was raised by Trixie and was far away from the Necronomicon, only entering it once she identified it as a book that needed to be cleaned/erased.
And yet she still was used by the Demiurge to almost sire another heir!
She's incomplete though, thanks to Mortis having Andrei drink the soul that had helped incubate her. I guess that's something we can thank him for, temporarily nerfing Nephilim. But hey, if Beatrix got strong over the years, then I imagine with so much data from the other demi-humans, Nephilim can probably get strong by the time the climax comes! Maybe the Magic Empowering Event would be the time she could become a major threat, and yet still not reach her full potential.
I love how even she gives Varys a 'screw you!' by deciding to go against his wishes, despite being made by him and a somewhat reincarnation of him. Goes to show that everyone, even his own creation and technical reincarnation, hated him. Lol
Honestly, despite her already evil inclinations, murdering the zebra warriors and turning them into her cyberorganic zombies, I still think she's redeemable at that stage. Why do I think so? Discord and Beatrix.
(I love how I randomly stopped Part 2 and started Part 3 of commenting here but it turned out I was going to be reading about the egg and making a long essay about it. What a happy coincidence!)
Discord, even though he's a spirit of chaos, has proven that he can be good, going so far as to rather destroy himself than be used as a weapon for the Cult in Shining Force. And Beatrix has shown that with love one who's destined to be evil can still be turned good. And I do believe that Nephilim, now known as Viscera, could be turned. Because if she was made from Beatrix and the Demi Humans, then she carries their flaws and by extension she can carry their potential of being redeemed. She's sin itself, but sin can be wiped away and turned as white as snow (according to the Bible).
The only slight minor issue is the Necronomicon, a book capable of driving one further and further into darkness. To the point where it can basically consume your soul as seen with Necro Twi, who's soul became but a loosely stable entity, and once the darkness left she evaporated in the arms of Trixie. But even in those circumstances, she at the last moment, the most corrupted of those who used it in Shining Force, regained a bit of herself there.
Or how about better examples of potential redemption even after using the Necronomicon. You have Foal Bearer who honestly might've simply been too weak to be fully possessed as Necro Twi, but still regretted each and every action she took, saying it was to find a way to turn back time and prevent all of this madness. She was more or less manipulated, like with Starlight who also became corrupted but realized her ways thanks to Trixie and became their ally afterwards. Though she also had the least amount of time using it.
Point is, I think Viscera could be redeemed. I don't think it's the book that'll be the problem, it's her power itself. The power over life, the insane potential she now acquired. Everyone who has been redeemed needed somebody to get through to them, whether through power, through memories, through so many other things. But Viscera has no memories, her power is going to become absolute. It's going to be hard compared to the others, but I feel if she's part Beatrix, she also has that little adventurous michevious and innocently sensual attitude. She's another Beatrix, one that started off at the wrong foot but hopefully could be changed.
I have the feeling I would like to see Viscera become either Beatrix's rival (foils), daughter, or other younger sister. Wait that thought just made me think Bellatrix could end up dying and Viscera becomes Beatrix's other other sister. Because they both kind of were born from Beatrix???
Let's just move on.
(14) Ah, I told you to just hide! But you've exposed yourself Adila! It doesn't matter how many followers you had, you're fucked... eh... literally I guess. And on second thought, maybe it would be difficult to redeem Viscera, though like I said, there's probably a good deep down within her. Just give her a chance XD.
Wonder how big is she, I guess Viscera would have the dick potential (dick potential XD) from all those she's based on. And yeah, I did have a feeling Adila would be regretting something real soon.
Damn, I have to make a review over the songs and how they're used. Part 4!
And I guess something that did translate into Viscera is the feeling of dominating Zeloph. But at least she can't use portal magic, mostly because I believe that only got activated when Beatrix actually encountered a portal. And again she spots Adila, who should've just hidden the moment she encountered Nephilim, but she was under stress so I understand, and decides to have her live as long as Adila follows her commands.
Hopefully Adila can stay safe and maybe save her sisters who are still cyberorganic. Maybe they could be useful against Viscera, though it's likely that they'll be turned into her minions.
Honestly this chapter was amazing! It was long but it was worth it! Can't wait to see more of Nephilim! She's a great addition to the story! I'll make sure to listen to the songs, and actually, let's make it into point 15+!
(15) The Prince of Egypt- AH! I see what you did there! Love this song, and yes this would be a song that I could see everyone else loving within the story! Nice rythmn, a remix of the original right?
(16) Alone Tonight
Another banger and another song I can see linking with Moxxi. Let's see what the next one will bring!
(17) Make It
I've become the cat that bobs to the rythmn! Huzzah.
(18) Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad
I can see Seb singing this! The tone fits a lot!
(19) In Loving Memory
Well, Zeloph is known for guitars, so I can see already why this was chosen.
(20) Closer
Would this be Viscera's voice, given that she's cyberorganic? Either way a cool choice!
Even without these songs each scene can work on its own very well! I love this chapter and I can't wait to see the next one! Though 17k words is a lot, so take time to rest.
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14. I think the closets Viscera comes into a relationship with Beatrix is a partial clone, and a failed one at that. The only thing they share is their high libido and ties to the Necronomicon. She would not consider herself Bea’s sister/daughter/whatever. Only something she needs to infect and corrupt.
Also, adding to the theme that everyone one generally knows about the bible is a farce, it’s safe to say that unlike the other Demi’s, Viscera is beyond redemption, much like Varys. Just as Shadow Scythe was born apathetic, Viscera was born sadistic. So even if there was some ‘method’ to awaken her morality, it wouldn’t be through magic like with Sunny.
To add the nail into the coffin, Varys would dissect and torture his victims to gain a better understand about the human limits and how to improve them through ‘science’. Viscera would do it for her own amusement. So from her origins alone, she’s an antithesis for Atalanta’s crimes as Shadow Scythe.
Also the songs aren’t meant to represent their singer’s voices themselves. Since she’s both male and female, her voice is androgynous. I’m not sold on which voice yet, but this is more or less what I have in mind.
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(14) So it's your opinion/decision that Viscera is another irredeemable character? (Well I guess I did forget that according to the same text, she's a reincarnation of Varys. It's still funny she still decides to screw him. Everyone probably would)
Makes complete sense, but I don't know why but something about her made me think that she could've been. Perhaps because like you said, she's sadistic. She appears happy, too happy, and I interpreted that as her potentially being redeemable. But I guess there were other signs that she's unredeemable.
High potential from all those she's based of, so the likelihood that she'd be beaten or accept defeat is very narrow. Think Starlight Glimmer. Only after showing her the oblivion future and having a deep connection with Starlight after seeing her past and offering friendship did Twilight manage to stop Starlight from stopping the Rainboom. And yet Starlight was still so close to just tearing the parchment and ruining the future.
Actually that probably already could be enough argument to say that Viscera wouldn't accept redemption. Or how about basically any MLP villain, I think most took more than one try, while others like Chrysalis and Tirek became stone, never accepting. And she's definitely deeper than them. She was born in sin. Her only objective is to follow the Necronomicon. She's the perfect candidate.
Can she even feel love? Can she only feel the Necronomicon's will to corrupt? If she can't feel love than that's already a sign that she can't be redeemed. Voldemort was born thanks to a love potion and he thus was born without love. And look where they got him.
Yeah honestly the more I think about it, she seems to be unredeemable, and yet I still wished she could. Maybe she just has a cool entrance, has that happy tune to her, or maybe I just like these characters so much. Probably that.
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I don’t wanna fall I got he same tropes of MLP where every bad guy can be redeemed/forgiven at the end. Shadow Scythe and every male demi-human was stretching it thinly given their high body count. My stance that a good villainous character can have a sympathetic backstory and still be irredeemable. The reason Shadow Scythe getting a face turn works is because people (in story) want to believe she can be a force of good. Too me, Viscera/Varys would lose what makes her an entertaining character to write if she/he decided to stop being evil.
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Well most MLP villains weren't redeemed. Only Luna, Discord, Starlight, and Tempest were. The rest died or stayed in a death like state.
But yeah I would agree that I would find Viscera bland if she did go good. She's cool because she's evil, take that away and you have nothing. Her purpose is to be the perfect evil. Perfect Evil doesn't kill, because death, even if it's a long slow crawl, would eventually lead to relief. Corruption? Endless agony, and like the story says, no way the soul can move forward.
Perfect Evil delights in pain, no regrets, no guilt, no hesitation. Just happiness.
She's cool that way, I think you're right to make the early call to not make her redeemable. Now I'm interested in what'll happen to her since her existence will now heavily impact the story.