Trixie is Pregnant and It's Twilight's Problem

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Twenty Five: Of Drunken Ponies and Improper Gods

Chapter Twenty Five: Of Drunken Ponies and Improper Gods

Written by TheCrimsonDM

Twilight had managed to break away from the awkward mess that was Celestia and Trixie making increasingly lewd jokes to mess with her. Most of them went over her head but even those she could tell from their tones were supposed to be very inappropriate. Asking them to explain the jokes was a mistake, as she quickly learned they usually did not answer her directly and when they did, Twilight ended up wishing that memory bleach was a thing.

In fact she found solace in the one place she could which was on her balcony. For a long few minutes Twilight sat there reading in peace while listening to the mares inside with their ever increasing laughter. At least those two were doing well together. Though Twilight’s was racing back to what she'd heard Celestia say. She did her best to block it out and not think about it. Uncomfortable truths and Celestia did not belong in the same boxes in her mind, so she threw away the uncomfortable parts and kept only the Celestia parts. It had worked well for all her life so far and she was positive this philosophy had no side effects whatsoever.

Looking up at the sky she saw a rainbow-colored streak flying through the sky. It arced through the clouds and began a sharp turn toward her. Twilight's eyes widened as she saw how fast it was heading toward the library. Twilight stood up. "No, no, no, not the windows. Please not the windows, I just replaced them, Rainbow Dash!"

The rainbow comet heading toward her home grew larger and she knew it was about to hit her home. It pulled back and stopped only a few inches away from her face. Rainbow Dash stood there with a grin. "Sup, chicken butt."

"Rainbow, I am not the rear end of a fowl."

Rainbow laughed. "Maybe not, but your rear end is pretty foul."

Twilight glared. "I am going to shoot lasers at you now, and I don't know when I'm going to stop."

Rainbow Dash sat down. "Hold up, before you go crazy again, I kind of need your help."

"And you thought to ask it by calling me names and putting down my rump?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, your butt's a little chubby but it's also kind of nice to look at. I bet Trixie gets a lot of enjoyment out of it."

Twilight wasn't sure if the compliment was better... or far worse than the insult had been. Another thing to lock away into the vault. "What can I help you with?"

"Uh, do you know anything about this whole poly-pony thing?"

Twilight sat down. "Oh goddess... unfortunately more than I'd like. I am now somehow engaged to both Trixie and Celestia. And as much as I enjoy that, they keep explaining to me how that will work in more private sessions and I am feeling very uncomfortable with the whole thing now. It's bad enough to think about doing that with one pony, but two, and at the same time? I don't know how Fluttershy does it."

"So you knew Fluttershy was one?"

"Yes, but I never asked her much about it. The relationship structure is quite common among the nobility in Canterlot."

"Woah, like really?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, but I don't dwell in sexual circles so I am only now learning how that all works and I am quite horrified indeed."

"Yeah, same here... I thought it meant Fluttershy was made out of some kind of plastic at first. Now I'm just... ugh... I think I told her I was cool with it, and I’m not so sure I am. I mean like, Fluttershy is perfect right, so if that's what she wants it has to be perfect too right?"

Twilight reached out and gently squeezed Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "Fluttershy is not perfect. Nopony is perfect. If you are lying to her about your feelings and get married while doing so, even I am not so dense as to not think it would cause some serious problems."

Rainbow Dash lowered her head. "So... what should I do?"

"Talk to her. Tell her how you really feel."

Rainbow dash met Twilight's eyes. "What if... what if she leaves me because of it?"

Twilight offered a gentle smile. "If Fluttershy was truly that adamant about such a thing, I don't think she'd have agreed to marry you in the first place. But even if she were to leave you over it, then would you really want to be with her in the long run?"

Rainbow Dash's body grew tense. "But I just wanted to be with her for so long now... I... I don't know what I would do if she didn't want to be with me anymore?'

"Spend time with friends, I'll even go to a bar with you if you'd like. But I think you should be honest with her or else your already setting up your marriage for failure."

Rainbow Dash leaned back. "How do you know so much about this?"

"My sister-in-law is the goddess of love and I have been talking to her about my marriage to Celestia for years."

Rainbow Dash leaned back. "Thanks, Twi."

"No problem, if you need me, my door's always open no matter the time of day or night. I'll always have a place for you to stay if you can't be alone."

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash spoke gently. "That means a lot to me. If... if things actually go south I'll do that... oh but um, question. You don't like the idea of sharing do you?"

Twilight looked up. "Until tonight I never even thought about it. I'm not so sure I do, but the two ponies I love want to marry me so I don’t think I have a choice. Anything else though is asking way too much."

"Good because I think Fluttershy likes Trixie... because you know, she's pregnant."

Twilight glared at her. "Please do not try and tell me that Fluttershy is hungry for our unborn baby."

"What?"

"Spike keeps saying she's baby hungry, but I refuse to believe Fluttershy wants to devour unborn children like some kind of cultist."

"Oh, no, that just means she wants to have a baby."

"Sure it does, and me being hungry for cake means I need to potty."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Okay, Twilight. And don't let Trixie do anything with Fluttershy, please. I... don't think I could handle it if she did that."

Twilight nodded. "Of course, I would be rather upset if Trixie cheated on me."

"Oh and Twilight, one more thing."

"Yes, Rainbow?"

"How do you know that Celestia really wants to marry you? Like... what if she's just saying it because you asked for it?"

"Because, Celestia is perfect and will never do anything wrong, not ever."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Nothing, like, nothing nothing?"

"Yes, nothing."

"So she wouldn't say... completely abandon six young mares to fight Nightmare Moon by themselves while also lying to her student about Nightmare moon's return?"

Twilight felt her eye twitch. "Nope."

"Or force a group of young mares to go and piss off a dragon who's blowing smoke across Equestria, six mares who had no ability to face a dragon and only survived the encounter because Fluttershy turned out to have a superpower?"

Twilight's eye twitched again. "Didn't happen."

"What about ignoring her sister's need for a hug for so many years that it drove Luna into becoming an insane goddess named Nightmare Moon?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Twilight, I think I'm not the only one who needs to have an open honest discussion with a lover here. Like you said, if you not honest before hoof, you’re setting it up for failure. You wouldn't like... want to fail Celestia would you?"

Twilight stood up. "Thank you for your input, but the mailbox you have reached is full."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "What?"

Twilight lifted Rainbow Dash up into the air and with a teleport sent her home to Fluttershy.

With Rainbow Dash gone Twilight then turned and walked back inside. "Twily needy drinky."

Celestia and Trixie were inside and talking at the fireplace. Twilight glanced down at them and frowned. Rainbow Dash had mentioned a few things that Twilight had forgotten. More things were popping into her mind now, a lot more things. The way she sent Twilight alone into Sombra's den armed with a dark magic spell. The way that Tartarus was only defended by Cerberus and nothing else. The many smaller dangers that still existed across Equestria, knowing full well that Changelings existed and not taking Twilight's concerns about the Canterlot Wedding seriously in any capacity, despite Queen Chrysalis having done that exact move at least six times in the last three hundred years.

Twilight reached her dresser opened it up and pulled out the bottle of Celestia Hellfire Whiskey she kept hidden for just such occasions. Opening the lid she put the rim to her mouth and barely noticed it as she heard Trixie speak. As the burning hot liquid washed down her lungs refreshing her and making her mind feel a lot more relaxed she heard Trixie's voice again. Twilight finished the drink and smiled. That was quite a bit of drink, half thte bottle was empty. Give it a few seconds and she was going to be in happy land. Putting the lid back on she put the bottle back and turned to see both Trixie and Celestia standing nearby.

Twilight blinked. "W-wha, can you teleport now?"

Trixie was giving her a horrified look. "No, we walked up the stairs. You were chugging that bottle down like your life depended on it."

Celestia gave Twilight a cautious look. "Twilight, I think I might stay the night if that's okay."

Twilight giggled and stumbled to the side. "Oh, that sounds like fun. Can we like, do the sexy stuff on the bed then? I'm all hot and warm now."

Trixie shook her head. "Not while you’re drunk no."

"I drunk am not." Twilight froze, sat down, and spoke again, much slower. "I, am, not, drunk."

Celestia's horn lit up and Twilight found herself floating in the air. "Let's get you to bed."

Twilight flapped her legs about. "I'm flying! Trixie, look I'm flying, I must be an alicorn now."

Once Twilight was laid on the bed she stared at Celestia and Trixie. "Oh... I'm not flying anymore."

Celestia looked at Trixie. "Has she ever gotten drunk in front of you before?"

"No, she hasn't... is she going to be okay?"

"Yes but I'm going to probably end up using a detoxifying spell to sober her up soon."

Twilight looked at Celestia. "Hey, Celly Belly."

Celestia's eyes went wide and her face turned pink. "Excuse me?"

"It's your new nickname. Celly Belly. You have a big butt, and I want to lay my head on it."

Celestia closed her eyes. "I will take the compliment."

Trixie giggled. "I like this version of her."

Twilight looked over at Trixie and eyed her up. "Oh by Celestia's flaming teat, you don't know how hard it is for me to not have the sex wtih you. Your so hot and I love you so much."

Trixie smiled. "Awwww, thank you. I'll have sex with you whenever you’re ready."

Twilight smiled. "I'm ready now. I might even be drooling."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "I don’t see any drool on your lips."

Twilight giggled. "Wrong lips."

Celestia groaned. "Did she just use my name in vain?"

Trixie shrugged. "Seems common enough to me."

Twilight giggled again. "Oh, I have a better one. Luna shove my butt full of moon rocks and call me home."

Celestia's eyes widened. "Excuse me!"

Trixie rolled her eeys. "She's reading weird books again. Also, she got the quote wrong. It's um... far more vulgar."

Celestia looked down at her. "There are books with such vulgar obscenities about my sister?"

Trixie smiled. "Celestia, there are books detailing erotic scenes of you and your sister, together. Try not to be such a prude and just enjoy the love."

"T-t-together! I mean... it's not like it would be that strange, we're a thousand years old and incest is really just, well after a thousand years it hardly phases me, and it isn't like me and my sister haven't had... never mind that, it's still improper when we are basically goddesses and a few ponies worship us."

Twilight blinked. "You totally don't deserve to be worshiped."

Celestia smiled. "Thank you."

Twilight explained further. "You kind of suck.'

Celestia looked over at her. "Excuse, me!"

Twilight thought about it for a moment. "No... no I don't think I'll excuse you this time."

Celestia sat down. "Twilight, what do you mean this time? Have you excused me before?"

Twilight grinned. "Yes, in fact allow me to show you a list and chart of exactly why you kind of suck, but only kind of."

Trixie sat down. "Heh, this is going to be great."

Comments

[coto616]

Twilight grinned. "Yes, in fact allow me to show you a list and chart of exactly why you kind of suck, but only kind of."

Twy is gona drop the "you suck princess sunbut" bomb?
I like it

[AngieMarie985]

Ohh-ho-hoh!! This story is ALL over the place. But it's VERY entertaining. I can't wait to see what you post next to this little gem.

[Ergoan]

Why did Twilight not send rainbow dash to cadence?

[TheAlienBrony22]

Twilight giggled again. "Oh, I have a better one. Luna shove my butt full of moon rocks and call me home."

As JonTron appropriately said,

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