Out Of Order
I kept hoping that eventually we would happen upon an Equestria more technologically advanced than our Empire and that hadn’t gone in the magitech route of the House Path dimension. I finally I got my wish, and it made me wish I hadn’t.
It was the typical exploration day routine, waiting for Twilight to give the all-clear for Shining to head in first through the portal with the rest of us following after. Today’s expedition squad consisted of Shining Armor, myself, Twilight, Penny, and Time-Loop Luna. As usual, Twilight would wait for the all-clear before coming through.
It was so dark on our arrival that, at first, I assumed this might be a victorious Nightmare Moon scenario dimension. I quickly realized that the darkness was the result of ominous clouds cutting off almost all light from the heavens. The piercing stench of chemicals filled the air, bringing back unpleasant memories of an accident in my high school Chemistry lab course.
…
Yes, it was my accident caused by my clumsiness. Happy now?
…
Anyway, no ponies – guards or otherwise – appeared to greet us, another bad sign. Given the lack of company or any visible threat, Shining dropped his shield. When my eyes adjusted to the gloom, my pegasus vision could see tall buildings in the distance. Dozens of skyscrapers ascended into the clouds above Downtown Canterlot. A look down the valley towards Ponyville revealed smoke stacks that denoted modern factories. It took a second before I noticed the lack of something. The Everfree Forest was gone. Only a landscape of scattered stumps stretched into the distance.
While I was taking in the sights, I felt a tickling at the back of my throat which quickly grew until I coughed uncontrollably. Looking at my companions, I saw everyone else doing the same. It was then that I realized why those clouds in the sky must be so dark and why all of the vegetation I could see was dead.
“Back through the portal, NOW!”
No one argued with me. I wasn’t sure if it was due to my tone of voice or because none of them could stop coughing long enough to ask me why.
Back home with the portal closed, the coughing fits began to subside.
“So *cough* why the sudden *cough* return order, Mark?” Shining asked.
“Because we were choking on smog or some other *cough* deadly gas in the air. Did you see how all of the vegetation looked dead? I think that world industrialized to the point of ecological disaster. The clouds were probably *cough* full of acid rain that killed the vegetation which could no longer scrub the carbon dioxide or whatever other toxins there are from the air anymore. The locals choked to death if starvation didn’t kill them first.”
Loopy asked, “I thought *cough* thy ISAAC would provide warning of such dangers.”
Twilight frowned as she pored over her controls. “It should have! Other than the air having near-zero humidity, there wasn’t anything unusual about the atmosphere. ISAAC searches for strong acids or bases in the air along with excessive particulate matter.”
I remembered back to my environmental sciences elective course in college. “That might not have helped. Ozone is fairly neutral until it reacts with water. The same for sulphur dioxide which turns into sulphuric acid, but that would only happen in our lungs. This is the first post-industrial wasteland we’ve encountered. ISAAC didn’t know what to look for.”
Shining asked, “So we mark it as a dangerous destination then and move on?”
I shook my head, “No. Not yet, at least. Did anyone see lights in or on any of the buildings?” Everypony shook their heads. “Me neither. But I also didn’t notice buildings collapsing from decay, so what we’ve seen may be a recent development.”
“I want to make at least one more trip with a few set goals. First, confirm that there are no survivors. Second, find out what caused that world to end up like that so we can avoid the same fate. Lastly, bring back whatever we think may be useful if only as an example of what not to do.”
Twilight nodded, “I agree, but we'll need to use life-support gear. We can’t rely on unicorn shields to protect everypony, especially from poisons we’ve never encountered before.”
Given a few of the close calls on dimensions we had visited, long ago I suggested to Twilight that her research teams create contingencies for hostile environments. Soon, each member of the exploration team donned a hazmat suit, oxygen mask, and tank designed for ponies. Then we paired up to double-check the fit and function of our partner’s gear.
The return trip placed us back where we had started in what once were the gardens of this world’s Canterlot castle.
To save time, we broke into three groups. Penny and I headed into the castle to see if we could find any official records that would shed some light on this world’s history. Twilight and Shining went to the industrial district of the city to look for anything useful technology-wise. Loopy took off to perform an aerial recon of the city and nearby Ponyville to check for potential survivors. I didn’t like her heading off on her own, but if any mare could take care of herself, it was her.
The dilapidated castle exterior made me frown. Either my guess about acid rain was correct or maintenance had stopped further back in time than I had first believed. We didn’t find any bones in the hallways, which suggested that the locals weren’t caught unawares by a sudden calamity. There were signs of a hurried exit from several of the personal chambers with dressers left open and clothes and personal effects strewn on the beds. All paper had largely disintegrated into small scraps or globs of brown goo – the acid in the air had done its work. We would have to find out what happened to this world another way.
As Penny and I headed toward the throne room, I spotted further evidence that this Equestria was about the same tech level as my Earth. Sifting through the detritus, Penny found thin black rectangles of what from a brief examination looked like Pony versions of smartphones. I collected a few better-preserved specimens for later study. Flat-screen TVs and even vending machines lined some hallways. I also noted that this version of Canterlot Castle was far more opulent than most, with gilding and intricate mosaics everywhere. If not for damage from neglect, the place could have been a winning candidate for Better Homes and Stables, provided one had no taste.
Just like the rest of the castle, the throne room was empty. Looking up, I observed that Celestia and Luna’s cutie marks were not present on the banners. Part of me felt relief. The thought that any sane version of either of them would have allowed this to happen to their world disquieted me. Still, the displayed cutie marks weren’t unfamiliar, and quickly made it clear how this disaster had come about.
“An Equestria with greed at the helm. Industrial waste was an afterthought and proper sustainability just cut into profits. They obviously looked the other way thinking it would be somepony else’s problem to clean up their mess.”
Penny nodded, recognizing Flim and Flam’s cutie marks on the banners as easily as I had. “Do you think we’ll find their bodies in the castle’s private quarters?” Penny asked.
“I doubt it. Knowing them, they ran off to some safe house once things turned bad. While in power, they likely surrounded themselves with yes-ponies and hangers-on who enriched themselves at Equestria’s expense. Their only reward was to be told to flee when their bosses left, based on the lack of bodies inside the castle. And that’s what they did, locking the gates behind them.”
I waved a hoof sharply. “You saw the bones piled in front of the castle gates when we opened them. The common pony clearly had some choice words they wanted to have with their rulers. What both they and the Flim-Flam brothers didn’t realize was there was no running from a disaster like this. I’ll bet the brothers just died a little slower than everyone else.”
I turned to examine the remarkably well-preserved stained-glass windows that ran along both sides of the throne room. Each depicted every race on Equus worshiping the two alicorn brothers who stood, reared, or cantered above the happy throng. I frowned at the unlikely proportions of the wings and horns on the pair. Entirely too large for the size of their bodies.
“I’ll take that bet,” said my bodyguard. I only had to tilt my head her direction to get her to clarify. “I have my five bits to your twenty that their alicornhood was not one of the lies they pulled on their subjects.”
I snorted. “Sucker’s bet on your part, but still too steep. My three bits to your five.”
“Put your bits where your conviction lies. My five to your ten.”
I took one more look at the closest window. Their wings would have to be even larger than Penny’s. “You’re on.”
“Excellent, my Apprentice in Pranks.” Then her voice turned serious. “Surely someone would have warned their rulers,” Penny argued.
“They likely did, and that’s why we’re heading down to the dungeons. I suspect that’s where they threw them. If we’re lucky, some evidence of what happened here got thrown in with them.”
Surprising neither of us, the dungeons in this version of Canterlot were much larger than those back home – a full six floors with over two hundred cells. The number of corpses still locked in those cells was the reason why.
The bones at the guard desk were kind enough to provide us with the master key. Oddly, a few full inkwells sat on their desk although there wasn’t a quill or scrap of degraded paper in sight.
The cell furthest from the dungeon entrance required the guard’s key to open the flap covering a narrow slot. The other two locks had larger keyholes. A quick scan confirmed that any preservation spell on the “Flim and Flam Lock Company” mechanism had expired. I removed a hoof-glove and used my lightning magic to melt off the faceplates, revealing a simple ratchet, pawl, and deadbolt mechanism inside. In a matter of seconds, I slid back the bolts, put my hoof back in the glove, had Penny check the pastern seal, and pulled the door open.
While any paper records on this world were too degraded to be readable, apparently this pony had seen the writing on the wall, or rather had inscribed on it. Every cement block had been painstakingly written on with tiny letters in ink. Dozens of worn-down feathers and empty ink pots covered the perimeter of the cell. Resigned to their fate and knowing they would never fly or see the darkening sky again, the prisoner had contributed their own quills to the task. They wrote their story of what occurred to this world and a potential solution that the prisoner had tried to present to King Flim and King Flam. At the end of her story, they concluded the damage was too extensive for that time-sensitive remedy. We took photos for Twilight including a heart-wrenching one of the prisoner’s final words and signature.
“I write these words not for the ponies of today. They have already spurned my warnings and sealed their fate. I only hope that some future creature finds these words and learns from our mistakes. Now my task is complete. I lie down to rest as I wait for the inevitability of death our leaders have forced on us. I weep not for myself but for the future generations of all creatures who now will never be due to our short-sightedness.”
Professor of Environmental Sciences Fluttershy
Upon returning to the portal location, I found a grim Shining Armor and a red-eyed Twilight waiting for us.
Shining lifted his drooping head. “We found all we needed at the factories—”
Twilight cut off her brother. “There were foals… chained to their workstations to keep the machinery oiled. Small hooves for small gaps; I kept thinking of Nyx and Regis while looking at those tiny piles of bones. What monster would allow that?”
I narrowed my eyes. “That would have been the esteemed rulers of Equestria, Kings Flim and Flam. Their mosaics proclaim their grand plans to industrialize Equestria and bring wealth and prosperity to the common pony. Their façade was confirmed in the last testament of a pony the pair had locked in their dungeon.”
Twilight let out a snort, she had all the signs of beginning one of her classic rants when Loopy landed and cut her off.
“I believe the Crystal Empire might yet be a bastion for any survivors. I can feel the magic of its shield from this distance. Sadly, that is because I can detect none other life or magics remaining to obscure my scrying.”
I took in Loopy’s words. It made sense. The shield that protected the city from the harsh weather of the North must also be protecting it from the pollutants in the air.
Penumbra asked, “Are you sure that means there are survivors there? Could the shield simply still be working on stored residual energy?”
It was hard to read Loopy’s expression through the gas mask as she thought. “'Tis a possibility, though dubitable. The Crystal Heart doth be renewed by the love of crystal ponies. I doubt 'twould long survive their passing.”
Penny stretched her wings. “So, we need to check on them promptly?”
Loopy nodded. “Indeed. While the shield mayeth be preserving them for the moment, I believe 'tis on borrowed time.”
“I agree,” said Shining Armor. “The Crystal City shield is designed to keep out extreme cold. While it did an adequate job keeping out Sombra’s shadow creatures, that was an extreme strain. The shield was never intended to perform air filtration.”
I tapped my hoof while sorting out a plan forward. “Twilight – because air does not travel across portals, would you set up a permanent portal here? I’ll arrange for a pegasus guard contingent in proper gear to set up a daggerscale portal between here and the Crystal Empire, preferably inside their shield. As I doubt the train or the rails are in working order, we won’t waste time on that.”
Everypony else nodded in agreement.
Two days later, the Triarchs met with the Princess Cadance of that world. She looked a complete wreck – the stress of maintaining the shield for years having taken its toll. This pink alicorn had grey streaked through her hair and her coat was patchy in places. The Princess spoke with a rasp and a cough. She had a desperate look in her eyes I could not recall ever seeing on a Cadance before.
“Shining was the one who adjusted the shield harmonics to protect us from the pollution in the air. However, the shield can’t keep all of the toxins out. It just filters out the *cough* worst of it. *cough* Most ponies die before they reach forty due to the buildup of toxins that do get through.” She looked down for a moment and sighed. My heart went out to her, but I didn’t interrupt her grief.
Looking up, she continued. “Flurry Heart doesn’t have the strength to maintain the shield for more than a couple of hours, but that is enough time for me to recharge my strength. Also, the shield does nothing to protect our fields from the pollutants in the earth. We lose more farmland every year to toxins slowly seeping into the groundwater.”
Trixie, Twilight, and I exchanged looks; this was a mare that had been staring the inevitable in the face for some time but still pressed on.
After getting a coughing fit under control, Cadance said, “At first, I thought your guards in their protective gear were some new horror that the idiot brothers’ strive for progress had unleased on us – zombie ponies resurrected by the various chemical spills, or vengeful spirits meant to wipe the last of us out.”
Trixie lifted her head. “Speaking of vengeful spirits, has Sombra or his spiritual remains come back to try to conquer the city?”
The pink alicorn shook her head. “No. When Shiny and I broke into the throne room, we found his corpse. The strain of casting the spell that threw the city forward a thousand years killed him. We immolated his remains until every protective spell on his armor and person failed.”
Twilight asked, “Was his horn the last part to fall to ash?”
“I think… yes, it was. The only piece to last over a day. It did seem odd at the time.”
I said, “Be glad you were so thorough. How did the Crystal Empire keep from being dragged down with the rest of Equestria?”
“Crystal City. Equestria’s two rulers wouldn’t allow the crystal ponies to continue to refer to a single city as an empire. As for our survival, I have to attribute it to dumb luck. I was opposed to rapid industrialization – we were having enough trouble bringing the crystal ponies up to speed as it was. We needed a massive influx of capital to import modern equipment and pay for industry experts. Not seeing that as a cost-effective investment, Flim and Flam left us alone to serve as a dumping ground for their less successful products. Crystal City was their test market for this or that latest do-dad. Then the troubles started.”
“When exactly was that?” I asked noting the venom in Cadance’s voice when mentioning Flim and Flam and the lack of using their titles. I made a mental note to keep our local twin brothers or any other dimensions’ variants very far away from this Cadance.
“About a hundred years ago, Flim and Flam promised they were having experts look into the worsening environmental conditions, but nothing came of it. Instead of clean-up actions, reassuring signs appeared in the worst affected areas, encouraging ponies that everything was safe. Scientists other than the royal advisors published worrying findings and trends. The brothers addressed these concerns by recruiting those scientists into their think tank in Canterlot Castle. Of course, after that, no pony heard from them ever again, except to see their names on news reports stating how their previous statements were in error.”
I sighed. “We found those ponies in the castle dungeon. As to their think tank, I bet it was filled with horseshoe-lickers and other flunkies, not real scientists. Their job was to say whatever would appease the common pony’s fears.”
Cadance nodded, clearly not surprised by this news. She began pacing. “After a while, the remaining environmental scientists stopped believing the lies. Because the Crystal City wasn’t modernizing like every other city, we became their haven. Since then, they’ve been a boon, inventing environmentally sustainable technology and innovations that have kept ponies alive. I could almost kiss those two idiot kings for that at least. Of course, that would be after I tear their throats out.”
Cadance’s legs trembled and she sat down with a sigh. The burst of energy caused by her hate of Equestria’s former rulers dissipated as quickly as it had come. “I wish I knew where their secret hiding hole was, but given it has been fifty years since they disappeared, I suspect it’s their tomb now.”
Trixie asked, “So you have no idea where they fled to then?”
“No. They kept that information strictly need-to-know, which typically meant only the two of them. All I can say for certain is that it's not in the Crystal City. Shining and I had no choice but to destroy the rail lines and seal the shield, cutting off any further influx of refugees a month before the brothers went missing.”
“If you sealed the city, how did you learn of their disappearance?”
Cadance gave us a rueful smile. “We snuck a few ponies in and out on occasion, just to keep an eye on things. Shining was afraid those two idiots would try to use military force to get into the city. It was the most livable city left towards the end and every pony knew it.” Her head and ears drooped. “I… I had to close the shield. There was barely enough farmland to sustain the city’s population and the refugees we did take.”
I thought back to debriefing the guards who had flown out to the Crystal City. They reported a long line of remains of ponies that had failed to reach the city, along with a scarce few that littered the circumference of the city's shield. I couldn’t imagine the Tartarus that Cadance went through – having to watch those ponies die knowing she couldn’t help them. It had to have been a terrible blow to Cadance’s mental health.
“There had been riots in several cities including Canterlot by then. The hospitals were full of those dying from the pollutants in the air, water, earth, and even the food they grew. Ponies had grown tired of the brothers’ various excuses and their expert’s lies. Shortly after Flim and Flam disappeared, we pulled our agents back.”
“If they abandoned their rulership, why didn’t Princess Celestia or Princess Luna step in to take over?”
Cadance looked up and furrowed her brow. “Who? It’s always just been the two brothers leading Equestria.”
Well, that explained a lot. It also made this Cadance all the more impressive if she had grown up under the tutelage of those two.
“Hard to imagine Shining Armor as the Captain of the Guard to those crooks.”
Cadence tilted her head. “Captain of the Guard… is that the role your Shining has? Mine never did. He was drafted into the Army due to his shield talent. The brothers liked to use him as a guard when they went out in public to keep the rabble away. That’s how we met. I admired how he didn’t bootlick to the brothers like so many in the palace.”
I motioned my head toward my co-ruler. “You never mentioned Twilight. Was there a reason for that?”
“Why would I?”
“I’m Shining’s younger sister in most dimensions.”
The pink alicorn covered her mouth with a hoof until she got a coughing fit under control. After clearing her throat, she said, “My Shining didn’t have any siblings. Birth rates were down. It was speculated in the press that it was due to parents being leery of having more foals with the cost of living going up. Thanks to palace interference, the true cause was kept secret, and publications were delayed as long as possible: pesticides and other chemicals used in food production.
Twilight put a comforting hoof on the pink mare’s withers. “Shining Armor… what happened to him? You keep using the past tense.”
I hadn’t noticed that, but it made sense that Twilight had.
“He died twenty years ago from build-up of toxins in the lungs – a cause of death shared by many ponies. Is there anything you can do to help restore my world?”
Twilight winced at the hope in that last statement and Cadance saw it. “I’m afraid not. Based on the research left behind by one of the real scientists the brothers ignored and locked up, this Equus has passed the tipping point. Back then, it would have taken the concentrated effort of every pony working together to even have a hope of slowing the effects. At this point, it’s just too late. We have to wait and see if your world can restore itself given enough time — in the realm of centuries.”
Cadance’s ears laid flat on her head, a look of defeat on her face. Her wings sagged to the floor as tears filled her eyes. “So there truly is no hope for us.”
My leadmare snorted. “Trixie wouldn’t say that. While we can’t save your home, we can save you and your ponies.”
“How?”
“Quite simply. Our realm has discovered several Equestrias where ponies never settled. The land is completely untouched. Should you allow it, we could resettle your population on one of those dimensions. It will be a new start for all of you.”
It took far less time than I would have liked to relocate the ponies from the polluted dimension, mostly because there were only a few hundred of them left in the city. Each spent a full month in one of the Crystal Hive’s healing pods, having toxins drawn out of their body. In the end, Twilight declared that other than a marginally shorter lifespan, the ponies could look forward to healthy lives.
Twilight and I brought a rejuvenated Cadance and Flurry Heart to several Equestrias. Yes, it turned out that dimension’s Flurry Heart was a true alicorn, not a pegacorn like our realm’s. Their Flurry was the Alicorn of Hope and had kept up the spirits of the Crystal City residents while their ruler spent nearly all her efforts maintaining the shield.
They eventually decided to emigrate to the cave pony dimension bringing the Crystal Heart with them. The artifact’s shield protected a huge area from the plant creatures, allowing the safe expansion of orchards and fields into the valley beyond. The mother and daughter struck up an immediate friendship with the Celestia and Luna of that world. All four alicorns were delighted at the prospect of joining their cultures and ponies into a much larger and more sustainable civilization. When I asked Flurry Heart if she wanted to re-establish their home in the new world’s far north, she politely declined. “I’ve seen enough ice and snow for one lifetime, thank you, Your Highness.”
We did eventually locate the pollution dimensions’ Flim and Flam. After consulting with our local variants, they suggested a few safehouses the brothers had kept secret in case a plan went wrong.
The two kings had converted a cave into a full-on bunker. The heavy door reminded me of the entrance to the First Draconian Bank's safety deposit box wing. The fourth set of potential code numbers our Flim and Flam had provided got us in. The hiss as the door opened told me the two had hermetically sealed the place.
Just like the castle, the bunker was overtly opulent. Anything that could conceivably be made of gold was made of gold, including the toilet and toilet seat. What couldn’t be made of gold was gilded to the point it might as well have been. After unlocking and propping open an inner vault door, we found the skeletal remains of the brothers collapsed in a treasure room. They had likely died by asphyxiation or starvation. Given where they lay and the damage on their hooves, it was clear they had tried to get out.
Pressing a glowing red button on the door caused an integrated display panel to illuminate. It read:
WARNING
1 of 2
Problem Report: U-343
Description: Automatic door closing mechanism can activate outside of programmed time.
Priority: Low
Severity: Moderate
Repair Cost Estimate: High
Workaround justifying Low Priority:
Use Manual Release.
Pressing the button a second time changed the display.
WARNING
2 of 2
Problem Report: U-344
Description: Manual Release mechanism has high rate of latent failure.
Priority: Moderate
Severity: Low
Repair Cost Estimate: Moderately High
Workaround justifying Low Severity:
1) Do not install Model FF-7 door for small enclosed areas.
2) Do not operate door without certified maintenance personnel outside of enclosed area.
3) Wedge door open until fixes are applied for issues U-216, U-278 through U283, and U-343.
Examining the red manual release lever, I saw a small red sticker with even smaller orange text. Squinting, I could read: “Out Of Order”. I shook my head at the irony of what had trapped them.
I heard Penny clear her throat behind me and turned. She prodded the long, spiraling horn of one brother then picked up a humerus wing bone from the other’s skeleton. Holding the bone up against the first section of her wing revealed it to be both thicker and longer. After letting me get a good look, my herdmate casually tossed the bone over her shoulder. While I couldn’t see the batpony’s muzzle, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes let me know the extent of her beaming smile.
“Pay up!”
I tried to glare at my wife through the glass in my gas mask with no effect. On a hunch, I moved to the industrial shelving closest to the brother’s remains. I pulled the hoof-sized rectangle of paper… no… thin plastic from the pile on the nearest shelf. The bill looked as fresh as the day it was printed and prominently displayed the smiling faces of Equestria’s former rulers. It read:
BY THE GRACE OF THE TWO BROTHERS
THIS CERTIFICATE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS PUBLIC AND PRIVATE
100 GOLD BITS
PAYABLE TO THE BEARER AT ANY ROYAL BANK OF EQUESTRIA
AT THE KINGS’ ROYAL DISCRETION
I hoofed it over to Penny and gave her a few seconds to appreciate it. “Don’t spend it all in one place.”
As I turned to leave, I smirked. “And you now owe me ninety bits.”
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For a hot second we thought this was going to be The Matrix. 😎
Kinda funny, seems the brothers were compensating, but in reverse.
This is one of the creepiest scenarios. *shudders*
Even here Flim and Flam bucked up big time! Seems they only and truly learned to use their talents for good only in Mark's relm.
And of course in their greed they refuse to use quality parts for their safe house.
What series of event allowed the brothers not pnly born early but as alicorns
Most splendiferous chapter. My compliments to the author.
Did they find any useful technology?
Glad they found a place to go, a place of safety.
What kind of toxic combination could take down Dragons?
11751112
Mutant Dragonsneeze flowers that caused instant respiratory hemorrhage?
We see what our earth will face in less than 200 years, isn't it beautiful?
love it But now i want a chapter from the path verse were Princess Crystal announces here pregnancy of an heir to the Blue hive .
Really makes me wonder how those two managed to ascend in the first place.
11751112
They still need oxygen, last I checked. No plants, no oxygen, no dragons.
11751462
Mail order kit.
Reminds me of the pirate homeworld In Metroid prime: Corruption, the whole planet was dead and they all needed shields to prevent the acid rain from destroying everything.
tha last part reminds me of a scene in the webcomic "21st century fox", where the ruler of North Korea tried to make a new home on the moon.
yes, he and his lackeys all suffocated when things broke down.