> Mark My Words
>  by Goldfur
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> What A Fright!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Perhaps our chaotic friend could bring some special disaster that he has been saving for just such an occasion.  What do you think, Dowser?”

That startled me out of whatever I was contemplating.  So much so that I had no recollection of what it was.  “Lulu, I think you shouldn’t tempt fate or minor deities by asking for more trouble than you can handle.”  Trixie continued to frown and tapped a hoof on her throne.  Day Court wouldn’t start for another ten minutes. I hoped that gave me time to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her.  “Dear, what’s the matter?”

My wife had to lean forward to flap her wings impatiently. After a couple of seconds, she folded them again and sat up straight.  “This will be the twelfth Nightmare Night celebration of Trixie’s reign and it is the same every year.  Luna and the Element Bearers whoop it up in Ponyville while Canterlot Castle shuts down.  Even the thestral guards abandon us to be anywhere but the Royal Palace.  Trixie is tired of our home being the anathema of happy foals and merriment.”  

She did have a point.  One global emergency or another seemed to show up right before this holiday season, forcing one of the royals to be safely detained (I’ll call it what it is) inside the castle.  That way a voice of authority could respond at a moment’s notice.  This year, Celestia’s intelligence network brought news of half of dozen Zebrican tribal leaders swearing revenge upon all ponies for the latest imagined offense.  Six months ago, it was for exporting lavender-scented soap to their country. Celestia’s agent informed us the soap smelled too much like ancestral embalming fluid.  Regardless, the Triarchy endured a month of yelling from their ambassador in the hour-long timeslots allocated for our weekly talks with their nation’s representative.  This only stopped when a staff-wielding Zecora entered the Throne Room and dressed down the stallion in the melodic tones of her native tongue.  Her rhyming was complex and went on for several minutes. Rather than waiting for a rebuttal, the shaman held her staff out in front of her, dropped it at the ambassador’s hooves, turned around, and marched out the way she came.  At our next meeting, the stallion was nowhere to be seen. Instead, his understudy wore the robe and necklace of office.

In any case, some youthful hotheads traveled halfway across Equus to “regain Zebrican honor” or some such.  When one of these idiots seriously injured an Equestrian customs official, Twilight took it upon herself to permanently change his stripes to rainbow hues and drop him into the fountain at the center of the Zebrican capital. Over the next few weeks, my co-ruler did the same for the other half-dozen captured glory-seekers.  Zebra cultural norms dictated that attractiveness meant having the darkest blacks and whitest whites.  Twilight hoped this would send a message.  Maybe it did, and maybe it didn’t.  All I knew was that I drew the short straw this year.  Twilight and Trixie were free to enjoy Nightmare Night while I cooled my fetlocks in the castle.

My wife pointed a hoof at me.  “What Trixie needs is a different perspective.  What traditions from your home can solve this problem?  Be glad your wife is giving you two weeks’ notice.”

I was pretty sure she was talking about the upcoming holiday and not abdicating her crown.  I looked down at my hooves and thought back.  “Well, I worked at a facility not unlike the Royal Assessor’s department: lots of offices on both sides of a looping corridor.  For our equivalent holiday, employees could bring their kids in at lunchtime and they would trick-or… uh… ask for something sweet to bite at the different rooms. The big boss only let them stay for a couple of hours, but everyone loved the break from the normal monotony.”

Trixie stopped tapping her hoof.  After several seconds she nodded.  “Yes.  Immediately after sundown is perfect.  School would be out and that time would not interfere with any being’s late evening plans. We shall ask the castle staff to bring their young ones to the Throne Room.  What else?”

“What, you want more?”

“Of course!  One does not finish tapping a well until it is dry.  What else?”

I rolled my eyes then got back to thinking.  “Each department will have their own treats to give out.  For example, the Building Codes department could give out puffed-oat sculptures of a frosted castle on a stick.” 

Trixie added, “The Royal Sisters will be here. I’m sure they would love to have their chambers on the list of stops.  Raven?”

My wife’s advisor jotted down notes on her clipboard while looking at her boss.  “I’ll send a scroll to them both.  We can’t have foals running everywhere through the castle, though.”

Penumbra’s voice carried up from her spot at the foot of the dais.  “I, for one, do not want to be pulling youngsters from every forgotten maid’s closet until Hearth’s Warming because they got lost.  Unicorns can put glowing arrow markers on the floor to guide groups of foals to their next candy station.  We’ll make a huge, meandering path through the castle so they don’t get lost.”

Chrysalis cleared her throat to get our attention. “I don’t think that will be enough.  I propose a changeling disguised as a foal lead each group.  Crystal Hive drones can do that with King Thorax coordinating their efforts.”

I said, “And what will our herd’s changelings be doing?”

She showed me all her fangs.  “Nymphs stuffing sugary treats in their bags is insufficient. We have a standard to uphold here at the center of the Equestrian Empire.  The event must be memorable!  My drones will take on monstrous forms and scare foals away from corridors they are not to take, chasing them back onto the right path.”  She licked her lips.  “Children of all races love to be scared...”

Trixie coughed.  

“… within reason,” concluded the changeling queen.

I tapped my chin.  “I like it.”

My wife said, “Raven, would you send a note to Twilight and Thorax?”

Penumbra turned to glance at the unicorn mare.  “I have to visit Sugar Cube Corner after my shift. I’ll deliver the message and answer any questions they may have.”  She paused. “OK.  I’ll answer any questions Thorax has and bring back Twilight’s scroll of questions.”

“Just one scroll?” I asked with a smirk.

“I’ll bring my largest saddlebags.”  Penny jerked her head toward the double-doors that held back the petitioners.  “Now if you two lovebirds are too busy planning to preside over Day Court, Chrysalis and I could take over and—”

Trixie straightened up and called out. “Sergeant-at-arms!  Let our little ponies approach!”

I gave my wife’s hoof a quick squeeze with mine. “Day Court is now in session!”





My wife and I stood in the doorway of a quaint cottage on a dusty country road.  I grinned and shook my head.  “Lulu, it just isn’t fair.  Cuteness on this scale is simply too dangerous to be released into Canterlot. Every household will give out all their candy when our foal knocks on their door.”

Right on cue, Gemini set down their bucket.  The little yellow unicorn swung their neck back and forth as they sang, rocking the tiger head.  The plush snake and goat heads of their chimera costume followed along thanks to the strings attached to the top of the tiger’s neck.  

“Nightmare night!  What a fright!  Give me something sweet to bite!”

With a flash, Gemini switched to light green Pegasus colt and picked up their bucket in their teeth.  I swear the puppy dog eyes could have convinced Carpacia to give up her crown.  





My wife dropped the illusion and our chambers faded into view around us. 

“Well done, Gemini.  Your performance was flawless.  The Great and Powerful Trixie knows true showponyship when she sees it.”

Our foal said nothing, instead jostling their bucket up and down.  The few pieces of candy inside rattled.

Trixie rolled her eyes and her horn flared.  Two Carrot Zingers popped into existence before clattering into the waiting bucket.

I asked, “Are you sure that little cauldron is big enough for all your loot?”

“Auntie Twilight put a spell on it,” Gemini replied with a grin.  “It’s really big on the inside!”

I snorted with amusement.  “Of course it is.  Trust her to think of that.”

“It’s time to go,” Trixie said.  “We must not be late for our performance!”

I lifted Gemini onto my back with my magic.  “Our little monster and I are ready,” I replied with a grin. “Let’s go!”

We exited our suite where Penny, Rarity, and Chrysalis were waiting with the rest of the foals.  Gemini’s fancy costume had taken a lot more time and effort to get into and they were the last to be ready.  Trixie’s insistence on a rehearsal probably hadn’t helped my other herdmates’ patience, but I think seeing the result of Rarity’s costume-work helped ameliorate the irritation.

While the fashionista and Penny gushed over Gemini (Sally does not gush!), I looked over our other foals’ outfits.  Pearl had been dressed by her mother in a superhero costume like those in the comics that her Uncle Phil had given her.  This year she was the Huntress from DC comics.  Verdant was a zombie, ghoulishly made up by his over-enthusiastic dam to be comically hideous.  Allura and her constant changeling companion Lacewing were a double act as a Frankenstein-type monster.  Lacy had shape-shifted to appear to merge with the unicorn filly so that they had six legs and two pony heads.  That was truly weird and wonderful.  They had even practiced finishing each other’s sentences!  My youngest foal, Spotlight, had gained sufficient control of his color-changing that he could keep it one hue for a while.  Right now, his coat, mane, and tail were all a very deep blue and he had on a black cape.  Trixie had fixed up a special-effect amulet for him that emitted a small amount of dark fog when activated so that he could be the Pony of Shadows.  My kids were going to knock the socks off the neighbors when they went begging for candy!

I urged my mares to stop fussing with last-second adjustments so we could get to the Throne Room.  Not only did we have to be there to start the special event, but Trixie also needed to set the scene.  Upon our arrival, the bright and airy chamber was transformed by my wife’s illusion power into a grotto.   Water from stalactites dripped slowly onto stalagmites and fireflies flitting around the chamber.  Moonlight filtered through a gap in the roof to illuminate the dais where the thrones had turned into piles of bones.  Bats fluttered in and out of nooks and crannies while glowing eyes could be seen peering out between the rocks.

I lifted an eyebrow and asked, “You don’t think this is a bit too much?”

Trixie smiled condescendingly.  “As our herdmate said, foals love to be scared.”

Judging by the awe on our children’s faces, I suppose she was right.

Gallus arrived just then, his pet by his side.  Twiggy came up to the griffon’s waist now.  The timberwolf made a habit of lowering his head when my son addressed it but would jump up to greet everybeing else.  Gallus paused to look around in wonder. “Whoa!  This is awesome!”

His pet ignored it all though.  As soon as the now-grown timber-monster spotted me, it bounded over and nearly knocked me off my hooves before beginning to lick me.

“Darn it, Twiggy!  Knock it off!”  Every. Single. Time.  Why was I so tasty?

“Why did you ask me to bring Twiggy when you knew what was coming?” Gallus asked with an unsympathetic grin on his face.

“Because I want him lying next to me looking dangerous.”

“You know he wouldn’t harm a fly though.”

Spotlight drove home the point by climbing on Twiggy’s back and lifting one forehoof in the air.  With a big grin, he yelled, “Gid-jup! Gid-jup!”  My back twinged in remembrance of when all of my foals tried to ride their dad at the same time.  Darn it, Phil. You are a bad influence on my children. 

I grinned as I turned to look at Gallus.  “Yeah, but the foals don’t know that… well, the ones who haven’t been to Ponyville.”

My wife gave me a flat look.  “What was that you were saying about Trixie’s scenery being a bit much?”

I chuckled.  “Guilty.”

I noticed Luna arriving, dressed in her Nightmare Moon regalia.  She gave me a fang-filled smile.  Somehow, her teeth gleamed with more light than anything else in the room.  “Recallest thou my commitment to Ponyville’s festivities. I must hasten away no later than three hours hence.”

I gave her a nod and said, “No problem.”  I looked around the room.  “Everyone’s here now.  I believe it’s showtime.  Places everyone!”

Penny said to our foals, “Come on everypony.  Time to score some candy!”  She and Rarity were leading them through a few Canterlot neighborhoods while other children came here.  After all, our lot already knew the castle intimately.  This special event was for the foals of the castle staff, including a few chicks from parents in the Griffon contingent of the Royal Guard.  Two diamond dog pups came along thanks to their parents working for the Department of Natural Resources.  We also invited the students from Hackleberry Primary School.  With so many of the youngsters at the castle, our foals would have first dibs on a lot of the homes participating in Nightmare Night!

Shadows roiled around the dark alicorn and she laughed madly.  Nightmare Moon had truly arrived.  She sat upon the throne of bones while Trixie and I took our places in front and to the side as her henchponies.  Trixie and I wore a mixture of rags and broken armor.  While we had dressed the part as our evil counterparts, my wife added her special effects to give us glowing eyes and vicious fangs.  The thestral Royal Guards took up their positions along the approach to the dais.  Thorax nodded to me and disappeared into the shadows behind the throne.  Creepy music started playing from concealed speakers, adding to the atmosphere.  As the final touch, I put a studded faux-leather collar around Twiggy.  A rusty chain reached from a ring on the collar back to behind the throne.  The timberwolf let out a huge yawn, turned around three times, and curled up alongside the dais.  Seconds later, I heard his light snores.  Oh, well. Can’t expect every stage prop to work the way you expect it to.  

At a sign from me, the thestral Guard stationed at the entrance threw open the doors.

“Enter if you dare,” he addressed the gathered children in dark tones.  He had been selected for the task specifically for his voice which was even deeper than Fluttershy after drinking poison joke extract.  “Nightmare Moon awaits those who have the courage to face her!” He then slammed the butt of his spear onto the floor, making many of the foals jump.

Slowly at first, a few of the braver foals and chicks entered the chamber.  Emboldened by them, the rest soon followed.  They were all soon gaping in awe at the scenery, the group of a hundred or so grinding to a halt in the middle of the room as they tried to take it all in.

I created a small thunderbolt that drew the children’s attention and Nightmare Moon stared at them imperiously.  “Do not keep me waiting, little ones, or thou may makest me angry!”

The foals hastened to obey and gathered at the base of the dais.

Nightmare Moon gazed at them sternly.  “Have you brought me thy tribute?  I see many foals but naught of that which is my due!”

“P-please, N-nightmare M-moon,” one brave filly stuttered, “W-we haven’t had a ch-chance to get any y-yet.”

The dark alicorn frowned and turned her attention to Trixie and me.  “Why have you brought these children here bereft of my tribute?”

I gave her a deep groveling bow.  “Your Majesty, we have prepared a quest for these foals which, should they be successful, will gift you with more candy than ever before.”

Nightmare Moon appeared to consider my words.  She eventually nodded.  “Very well.  I will expect much candy this year or else I will take some of these foals instead!  Thou hast but two hours or all shalt face my wrath!”

A gigantic hourglass materialized next to the dais and the sand began to trickle down into the lower section which was marked in half-hour segments.

“By your command, Your Majesty,” my wife said before turning to face the crowd of youngsters.  “Foals, chicks, and pups, you have heard the words of our mistress, Nightmare Moon. You will be sent in search of the candy she craves in groups of six.  You may seek it in any room that is open to you, but beware!  Monsters prowl the castle tonight.  If you see one, do not attempt to pass them.  Instead, return to the path of safety marked by glowing arrows on the floor.  Harder to find are the Masters of Lore, for they do not lie directly on the lit path. If you encounter one, seek their wisdom. You may come away with far more than you expected.  Gatekeeper – do your duty!”

A heavily shrouded mare shuffled forward, giggling madly while carrying several staffs in her magic.  She then placed one in front of the group and activated it.  A portal opened to reveal a corridor elsewhere in the castle.  I pointed at a foal.

“You!  Choose five companions and take them through the gateway.  Seek out the hidden stashes of candy and gather as much as you can carry. If you are truly clever, you may even discover the lost secret treasure trove of sweets.  Be back within two hours but do not dare return without the Nightmare’s tribute!”

“Y-yes, sir!” squeaked the colt.  He rapidly chose five of the youngsters and sent them through before following them.  Then the portal was closed.

The colt was actually one of the Crystal Changelings planted among the children to watch over them and act as guides.  I repeated the sequence with several more groups while the Gatekeeper, who was really Twilight hamming it up, sent them to the various start points throughout the castle.  That way, no one area or “Master of Lore” would get overwhelmed by a sudden influx and hidden helpers could replenish the candy stashes for the next group. Eventually the last of the foals were sent on their way.

“That was fun,” Luna commented as she took off her helmet.  “I commend thee on thy idea, Prince Wells.  Now, I had best be off to my chambers – mayhap I will find some younglings interested in astronomy to bide some time with me before I must return to my role.”  She then teleported away.

Twilight pushed back her ragged shroud and joined Trixie and me.  “How soon do you think a group will return?”

I replied, “Going by experience both on Earth and here, there will be some foals who will be obsessively fast at gathering candy and will be able to make two rounds.  So, that gives us about an hour before the first ones come back here.”

My wife said, “That will give Trixie plenty of time to prepare for her next performance.  Come, Dark Knells, we have a spooky spectacular to set up!”

“Yes, Mistress!” I replied in my best Igor voice.

The light blue alicorn narrowed her eyes.  “Know your place, lackey.  I heard you say ‘showtime’ earlier.  Don’t steal Trixie’s thunder!”


# # #


As we had anticipated, several foals returned to the Throne Room… I mean Nightmare Moon’s domain… in just under an hour, their candy cauldrons filled to the top.  I shuffled over to them and looked disdainfully at their loot.

“What have you brought our mistress?” I asked in character once more.

One filly held up some of her candy.  “I’ve got caramel crunches, chocolate-coated daisies, and sherbet bombs!”

A griffon lad showed me his prizes.  “I found licorice straps, choc fudge sardines, and glazed jerky!”  Cat birds! No accounting for their weird tastes.

The other children had similar treats but some types were conspicuously missing.

“Is that all?” I asked.  “Nightmare Moon will not be pleased with such pitiful tithes.  Did none of you seek the wisdom of the Masters of Lore?”

“But… if we stopped there, we would not have been able to get all this for Nightmare Moon,” protested a colt.

“None of you have found our mistress’s favorite treats though.  She will be sorely displeased with you.”  I knew certain items were only passed out by the ‘Masters of Lore’, so the fastest children would not be the most successful ones.  However, they would get another chance … with a little encouragement!

The room abruptly plunged into darkness lit only by a few flickering candles.  Lightning flashed, smoke roiled, and then Trixie appeared abruptly in their midst. Several foals squealed as my wife gave a demented cackle.

“Nightmare Moon demands her tithe!  Where are the maple-glazed oatmeal pops?  The chocolate caramel wafers?  The candy-coated peanut clusters?”

The children looked at each other helplessly.  “We haven’t got any,” one foal replied.

Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled.

“You have angered Nightmare Moon.  You must try again.  Minion!  Give these foolish children a new cauldron to fill.  Gatekeeper!  Send them on their way!”

I exchanged empty candy cauldrons for their full ones which I put aside.  Then Twilight directed them through portals that would exit near the first of the ‘Masters of Lore’.  I believe the Spell Codes department manager was hoofing out scroll-shaped caramel treats. The Office of the Exchequer, of course, gave solid chocolate bits wrapped in gold foil. Celestia was doling out ‘Princess Size’ chocolate wafers.  The Captain of the Royal Guard’s office passed out rock candy mini-lances. Luna wanted to give the foals Moon Pies but the baked treat had been the number one seller this season — none could be found in all of Canterlot.  The Night Princess felt both wildly pleased and deeply irritated.  She settled for hoofing out peanut clusters instead.  And so forth.  It appeared that no one had found the secret stash yet.  There was still plenty of time for that though.

With the first of the fast foals dealt with, we reset the scenery and signaled to the guard at the door that it was okay to send in the next lot.


# # #


The changeling guides had done a good job of keeping track of the eager over-achievers, hoofing them off to another while they stuck with the ones who were intrigued by the places and people they discovered in their search.  After a while, Thorax reported that the last of the racers had been dealt with and there was a lull for a short time.  Then the first of the groups that had stopped at one of the ‘Masters of Lore’ arrived and we changed the script for them.

Trixie cackled with glee.  “Well done, children!  However, there is much time still left.  Are you happy that Nightmare Moon will be merely satisfied, or would you be excellent minions and gather more bounty to make her truly delighted with you?”

Just like the speedy ones, we provided the youngsters with another candy cauldron and, after checking which of the Masters they had visited, sent them to one of the others.  With only a quarter-hour to go, we put a halt to this and any groups that returned had to wait for the others to arrive.  Trixie kept them amused by manifesting all kinds of fantasy creatures of the more harmless kind to mingle and interact with the children. Naturally, keeping up that degree of illusion work was taxing even for my wife, so it was up to me to do the talking and return any goodie baskets left in my care.

Then, with time almost up, the Gatekeeper rose into the air and loudly proclaimed, “The Chamber of Secrets has been discovered and its treasure looted.  But the guardian beast has been angered and it pursues the perpetrators.  The children are headed here to try to escape it, but they will only bring doom to all who are gathered here.  Doom!  You are all doomed!”  Twilight finished with maniacal laughter which came off pretty well.  She must have been practicing a lot.  Actually… scratch that.  This was how my co-ruler sounded whenever she went into full mad scientist-mode.

Twilight disappeared in a showy flash, ostensibly to escape the danger.  In reality, she had been carefully coordinating portals for the group that had dared to explore an unmarked passage that led down into the hive where Chrysalis had set up both the secret treasure and the dangerous guardian. With time almost up, I had begun to worry that none of the candy hunters would find our special set-up.  I know Sally would have been sorely disappointed. After all, she had a starring role in this production, but not before Nightmare Moon made her reappearance.

As the last grain of sand dropped to the bottom of the hourglass, there was a crash of thunder and Nightmare Moon emerged from the shadows and seated herself on her throne.

“I see that the children have returned.  Have they brought my tribute?”

“Yes, my Queen,” I simpered.  “You will be most pleased.”

“I will be the judge of that, minion.  Step forth, younglings, and give me that which is my due.  Take care not to cheat the Queen of the Night or I will take all your candy… and maybe a foal or two as well!”  She bared her fangs.

The first to step up was one of the bolder griffons. He gave her about a quarter of the contents of his candy cauldron.  Among the pieces were some of the goodies from the ‘Masters of Lore.’  Since each station gave out three of the special treats, the youngsters would also end up with some.  When Nightmare Moon nodded in satisfaction, he scurried away to let the next child make their offering.

The line was about halfway done when screams of fear echoed down the hallway approach to the Throne Room.  They were accompanied by a monstrous roar.  Everyone turned to the source of the sound and, shortly, a small group of foals burst into the room.  Each had the handle of a cauldron carried in their mouths, filled to the brim with treats.  In their haste, some were spilling out, but they didn’t stop to pick them up because a towering adult manticore was hot on their heels.

The children in the room squealed in fright but Nightmare Moon stood up and bellowed, “HALT, BEAST!”

The manticore skidded to a stop and snarled at the dark alicorn while its prey sought the safety of their peers who gathered behind me and Trixie.

“Begone foul creature!  Thou shalt not take back that which my minions have wrested from thy grasp!”

The manticore’s muzzle wrinkled as it drew back its lips to show dripping fangs.  Then it roared in defiance and began advancing.

“Thou hast been warned!  Now meet your fate!”  Nightmare Moon fired a blinding blast of energy at the beast.

The manticore bellowed in pain.  Its fur was scorched and one eye was swollen shut, but still it advanced.  Then it was hit by an even bigger and brighter blast.  Blinking away spots before our eyes, our vision cleared to see that the dread beast was no more.  

The children started cheering. 

“You did it!”  

“That was awesome!”

“You’re my favorite Princess, Nightmare Moon!”

The alicorn smiled smugly and seated herself once more.

“Your Queen thanks you, loyal subjects.  Now – I believe that you have yet to give me all your tithes.”

The remaining children eagerly lined up once more to give the dark alicorn her share.  Meanwhile, I gave a wink to the extra filly that had joined them.  She grinned back, obviously delighted by the fun she’d had.  Chrysalis had been eager to play the manticore and had made sure that Twilight had sent as many of the groups past the unmarked and unguarded passageway to her hive as it took for at least one of them to dare to check it out.  Chrysalis bided her time as the adventurous party of foals discovered and looted the secret stash (sugar-frosted hay-bacon sticks and princess-sized Cherry Royals).  When Twilight signaled that all was ready, Chrysalis made her appearance and chased the final group of candy-seekers out of the hive.  The disguised changeling guide directed the group up to the Throne Room for the final act.  Once here, Nightmare Moon hit Chrysalis with a bright but harmless beam of light. Under the cover of the blinding second beam, my changeling wife then took the form of a unicorn filly and joined the others.  And as Sally had said, the foals loved a good scare on Nightmare Night.  Mission accomplished!

When the last of the children had given Nightmare Moon her share of their loot, the dark alicorn rose and gazed at them sternly.  Then with an evil smile, she proclaimed, “Your Queen is satisfied with your tribute.  Each of thee hast bought thy safety with enough candy to keep me sated for another year, and I shall not gobble up any of you tender morsels… this time!”  She threw back her head and laughed maniacally.  There was a flash of lightning and crash of thunder, and both Nightmare Moon and her pile of sweets were gone.

The children cheered as Trixie shuffled her way up onto the dais.  Once there, she held up her hooves to demand the attention of the youngsters.

“You have all done well.  Our Queen of the Night has gone to another town to demand her share of the candy from the children there.”  She paused to chuckle evilly.  “But best yet, you distracted her from finding my treasure trove!  For that, I will give each of you a small portion of it.  Behold!”

From the floor between the dais and the children, a column of smoke arose with sparkling embers.  When it cleared, a table laden with more candy treats was revealed. These were the goodies that the ‘Masters of Lore’ had left over plus all the loot that the changeling guides had acquired.  None of the youngsters had noticed their absence after they snuck away during the chaos. The drones did not eat candy but they had already feasted on the joy radiating from their charges.  I expect that there were not a few bloated changelings going back to the hive this evening.

Trixie said, “Take a share with our thanks, but then be on your way.  Dangers still lurk about this dread night!”

Every foal, cub, and chick had pounced on the bounty the moment my wife had given them permission, but as if to underscore her words of warning, a baleful howl echoed through the castle.  Twiggy jumped to its feet and started barking, straining at the collar and chain.  From the foals’ perspective, it must have looked like the timberwolf was angry at them!  The yowling and barking hastened the grab for candy and the exodus of the children under the watchful eyes of the thestral Guards.  The howl repeated and was joined by a second and then a third voice as the last of the treasure seekers galloped out of the Throne Room.  As they left, Thorax and Penumbra walked out from the shadows behind the dais.  Penny scratched the timberwolf behind the ears, getting it to calm down.  Wait. When had she gotten here? 

The doors closed with an echoing boom and the show was officially over.

As all the illusions faded away, I said to Trixie, “Nice touch with the baying hounds.”

My wife’s eyebrows rose.  “That was not mine.  Trixie thought one of you had arranged that.”

Twilight shook her head.  “Not me.  Sounds like Cerberus is prowling the halls.”

I frowned.  “That can’t be.  Cerberus is still in Tartarus guarding…”

My wife finished my sentence.  “… nothing at all.  If you recall, Fluttershy reformed the few remaining caged beasts – well, to an extent – they were released into the Everfree.   After that, Cerberus wandered off.”

Sally said, “None of my changelings made that howl.”

“Nor mine,” Thorax added.

Penny grinned.  “I wish I had thought of it.”

I blinked in puzzlement for a moment.  Just then, the three-throated baying began again.

“If it wasn’t any of you, and Luna has already left for Ponyville to play Nightmare Moon there, then where’s that coming from?” Trixie asked.

We looked at each other in bewilderment.

I frowned, “I can’t believe that Cerberus took up residence in our basement without someone noticing.  Still, wouldn’t hurt to bring along a red rubber ball.  Okay, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Fred, and Scooby-Doo, it looks like we have a mystery to solve!”

Trixie gave me a flat look.  “Truly, Bark Yells, you have lost your marbles yet again.”





Back in her suite, a certain alabaster alicorn munched on her candy stash as she watched the fun through her scrying glass.  She giggled before lighting up her horn and another mournful triple howl reverberated throughout the castle.


# # # # # # # # #

> Change of Direction
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a lot more to being a Prince of Equestria than sitting on a throne and making regal pronouncements.  For example, all the paperwork that went with the job.  To be fair, my secretary took care of most of the day-to-day stuff and only passed on to me those items that required royal authority.  It was still an impressive amount but I had to admit that I had myself to blame for that.  In trying to modernize the empire and Equestrian society, I had undertaken way too many projects that only someone alien to this world could facilitate. In other words, being a former human with Earth-based knowledge made me uniquely qualified.  I really had to find some way of recruiting some highly-capable people from my home world to help cope with the workload – but how do you run an employment campaign for another dimension?  Sure, we could offer some very good incentives and our medical system had America’s soundly thrashed, but we needed to keep the portal to another world secret.  I hoped that someday I could find a solution with Phil and Rosa’s help, perhaps through their company.  For now, I just had to deal with the problems on my own.

In the face of going over these intractable problems for the umpteenth time, more often than not, I welcomed interruptions to give myself a break.  The tap on my office door immediately brought my attention to the hallway.  My secretary would normally alert me to visitors, so this unannounced caller was most likely family.  Sure enough, my eleven-year-old daughter, Diadem, was standing in the doorway.

“Have you got a moment, Dad?” the young proto-queen changeling asked.

My eyebrow rose.  While Diadem was a friendly and outgoing changeling, she usually called me “Father” rather than the informal “Dad”.  Her mother, Queen Chrysalis, tended to encourage proper forms of address.  That Diadem did otherwise told me that she had a personal problem.  I deliberately put aside the documents I had been working on and said, “Come in and close the door.”

She did so and then seated herself.  I rolled my chair around next to Diadem while she fidgeted.

I waited a bit before saying, “Okay, Di, spit it out.  What’s bothering you so badly?”

She looked up and gave me a lost look.  “Dad – what is it that I’m supposed to be?”

I blinked. That was not what I had been expecting. “What do you mean, hon?  Hasn’t your mother been training you to run the hive almost since the day you were hatched?”

“Yes, of course she has, but so what?  Do you know how long changeling queens live?  Centuries!  What am I supposed to do in the meantime?  Am I supposed to just do meaningless trivial things until Mother passes on?”

“What about the responsibilities to the hive that keep you busy?” I asked.  “You’ve often told me about what you’ve learned while growing up.  And Chrysalis can’t spend all her time at the hive due to her role as my Advisor.”

“You don’t get it, Dad.  Mother can handle both jobs easily – it’s what queens do.  Any task she gives me is just more practice and I don’t want to spend year after year being the Princess-in-Waiting.  I want to do something meaningful!”

I frowned. “Do you want to take over the hive now?”

Diadem shook her head.  “No. Mother loves what she has built and has plans to make it even greater as my brothers and sisters grow into maturity. The hive is her pride and joy and I would not want to take that from her.”

“I agree,” I said with a slow nod.  “And I see your point.  Chrysalis wanted an heir available to take her place as Queen of the Canterlot Hive if she passed away unexpectedly, but that may never happen.  Aside from the brief times that you’ve been left in charge to give you experience while your mother and I went on diplomatic missions or such, you really haven’t been needed to fill that role.  So, the question is – what would you like to do with your life?”

Tears welled up in her eyes.  “I don’t know!” she wailed.  “All my education and training have always been directed towards the hive to the exclusion of everything else.”

I sighed. “That’s my fault.  I felt that I was too ignorant of the needs of changeling queens to be able to offer more than a few suggestions.  Perhaps I should have been firmer with Sally on that subject. And while your mother has had nothing but good intentions, she may have been slightly misguided in your upbringing. However, I do seem to recall you gushing excitedly about various subjects over the years.  Did you ever try to pursue those interests?”

Diadem looked downcast.  “No, not really.  Mother wanted me to concentrate on my lessons rather than passing fancies, as she called them.”

I grimaced.  “I’m going to have a word with your mother about her perceptions of what is important. You are as much a pony as you are a changeling and you naturally have curiosity about non-changeling matters and interests beyond the hive, or even the palace.  So, what does interest you?  Forget about how it pertains to the hive right now.”

My child looked thoughtful for a long moment before slowly replying.  “I’m not sure.  Magic, I suppose.  Making some friends outside of the castle.  Colts—”  She slapped a hoof over her mouth and looked embarrassed.

I chuckled.  “Like I said, you’re part pony and of the age where boys become interesting.  I think I have an answer for you.  Why don’t you apply to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns? You can learn a lot there while making new friends, some of whom might be colts.  Youth is fleeting.  Go be a young mare rather than a queen-in-training.”

Diadem began to look excited.  “What will Mother say though?”

“Maybe she will surprise you.  And if she needs a little persuasion, tell her your Dad supports you.  It’s about time I had a bigger say in my daughter’s path to fulfilment.”

She giggled and got up to give me a hug.  “Thanks, Dad.  I’m going to do that.”  She then started heading for the door.

“And if you’re looking for something to do before the next semester starts, you could always help me wade through this paperwork, Princess.”  I gestured at the mounds of documents.

She glanced at it and stuck out her tongue.  “No thanks, Dad.  I did not list that as one of my interests!”

She had me there.  I looked at it again and said, “Screw it.  That can wait a bit.  I think I need to check out the rest of my buggy children and see if I can do something about their education.  It’s time for a little change.”
> Visitors (Part 1)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Thank you, Your Highness,” the golden yellow mare said.

“Always a pleasure to help Our Little Ponies,” I replied.

The petitioner bowed and headed for the exit from the throne room.  These interactions always made me happy.  Through no fault of her own, Meadow Bloom’s business premises had been severely impacted when a runaway cart had careened through her shop’s window, destroying much of her stock of flowers.  The businessmare’s insurance should have compensated for the damages but the company had cited a loophole to deny her claim.  The mare’s funds had already run out trying to rebuild.  She had reached the point where she could not even afford to put food on the table for her family.  As a last resort, she had petitioned the Crown.

As a matter of policy, we did not dish out money to everyone who came begging.  Do that and you would very quickly find that you would have a line of ponies wanting a handout stretching out the palace gates.  Nonetheless, we could look into how they got into their dire straits. Anypony who petitioned one of the triarchs had to file it first with the Clerk of the Court.  This not only allowed the Clerk to organize the appellants but also weed out the frivolous time-wasters.  Not that I was too strict on the latter – the convoluted rationalizing of those entitled ponies never failed to liven up an otherwise boring court session.  The Clerk also prepared facts and figures for the presiding triarch’s advisor. Chrysalis filled that role for me and she had a hive full of drones ready and willing to perform rapid background checks.  Over the years, my wife became a master at delegation—a hundred drones working simultaneously on small pieces of the investigation produced amazing results! In this case, in the hours between the mare filing her petition and presenting it to me, Sally had uncovered some very interesting and disturbing facts about the insurance company.  Their annual report filed with the insurance licensing bureau claimed more bits were paid out for claims than policyholder companies declared in their financial summaries.  That was even after taking into account a hoofful of settlements paid to corporations that seemed to exist on paper only.  Crooks truly ticked me off – just ask the duo who were my first scalps after arriving in Equestria.  Now the reformed twins worked for the Crown, and I got to sic them onto other ponies who tried to take advantage of good citizens.  Flim and Flam’s expertise at pulling off scams gave them a sixth sense when it came to ferreting out crooked deals.  Plus, I believe they got a kick out of their new job.

Anyway, I arranged to have some meals sent to the mare’s home and promised to have her circumstances investigated.  She didn’t have to know that it was already in progress. We never gave away our behind-the-scenes machinations because we did not want to tip off anyone being investigated. So Meadow Bloom departed filled with hope and I was left with a deep sense of satisfaction.

That was the last petitioner for the day and the Sergeant-at-Arms bellowed, “Day Court has now concluded!”  The audience members filed out of the Throne Room, all except one young hippogriff who instead wandered up close to the dais.  Oddly enough, the Royal Guards ignored her.  My personal guard, Captain Penumbra, merely raised an eyebrow at the impudent bird.  Then the Throne Room doors closed with a soft boom and we were in relative privacy. The hippogriff grinned and bounded up the stairs.

“Hi, Uncle Mark!  Hi, Aunt Penny and Aunt Sally!”

I met her with a hug.  “Hello, Yolanda.  Does your mother know you’re here in Equestria?”

My best friend’s daughter hugged my wives first before answering, Chrysalis basking in the love that the young hippogriff always projected to her.  The girl was the only one besides me whom the changeling queen tolerated calling her Sally. Then again, my wife and Rosa were pretty tight and both had doted on the child since birth, so it was hardly surprising.

Yolanda answered, “Mom was the one who suggested that I come see you.”

My eyebrow rose considerably.  “Oh?  And why would Rosa do that?”

The hippogriff hesitated and shuffled her forelegs. “I want to ask a favor.”

“Shoot.”

“I want to bring some friends over to Equestria.”

I paused as I considered my words carefully.  “You’re old enough and smart enough to know why we keep the portal confidential, so why the urge to let some others into the secret?”

“Ivana and Latisha are my best friends and they’ve invited me on their special trips but I’ve never been able to do the same. They’re beginning to wonder what I do on so many weekends.”

That was hardly surprising considering that her entire family spent a lot of their spare time in this world.  Yolanda had practically grown up here.  Her hippogriff form was as normal and natural to her as the human one.

I glanced at Penny who said, “She has a point.”

Chrysalis said, “I saw this coming months ago.”

I frowned at her.  “Why didn’t you say something?”

The changeling smirked.  “And miss out on watching you panic while you try to figure out a solution?”

Even after years of marriage, Sally still loved to needle me. On the other hoof, I knew that she would have been quietly working on the problem already.  Chrysalis was nothing if not organized.  I gave her a token response of “Gee, thanks,” before heading for the exit behind the throne.  “This decision can’t be made by me alone.  I’ll have to discuss it with Trixie and Twilight first.  I guess you’ll be staying for dinner, Yo?”

“Sure thing, Uncle Mark.”





I sent a message to Twilight inviting her and Thorax to join us for dinner so that we could all discuss Yolanda’s request. Trixie deferred to Rosa’s judgment on her daughter’s readiness for the responsibility.  Twilight was a bit more cautious, reminding us that we would be dealing with a couple of unknown teenage girls.  I pointed out that we were already planning to expand contact with my birth world and this might make for a good trial step.  Chrysalis offered up some ideas to mitigate potential risks. Yolanda gave us her best puppy-dog eyes. The decision was virtually a forgone conclusion.

We settled on the Saturday after next for the trial visit. After agreeing to all the conditions that we had set, my niece could hardly wait to get home and let her friends know the good news.  After the young hippogriff had departed, we amused ourselves in speculating what species her friends would arrive as.  After Phil and Rosa’s son, Miguel, was born and brought over for the first time, we expected another hippogriff but he was a unicorn like his father.  Therefore, we knew better than to assume.





I flexed my fingers to get used to having them again. I needed to visit my birth world or the anthro world more often!  I waited in a lounge chair in the spare room where the new portal mirror hung on the wall. The oval-shaped frame glowed with the same iridescence as the glass.  I looked at the mirror with a grin.  As much as Rosa loved her husband, she did not agree with all his interior design choices.  The deactivated original mirror with the fantasy-creature motif sat in storage as a backup.  

Neither Phil nor Rosa wanted an interdimensional gateway in their bedroom, especially after recounting my “Rasta Jacob Marley” prank and inadvertently spying on Phil while he slept.  This led to an awkward conversation of why the name “Valerie McPherson” caused my best friend enough panic to awaken him from a sound sleep. Ah, well.  That was Phil’s problem to explain to Rosa, not mine.

A series of careful experiments had shown that changelings could survive in my magic-poor homeworld, though only with the precaution of ensuring their love stores were full.  As a result, Chrysalis stood next to me, having taken a gorgeous human form. While the adaptation spell did not work on changelings, Sally had more than enough practice taking this form due to her many visits to chat with Rosa.  She did retain a scaled-down version of her horn but it was hidden under a hat that matched the slinky green dress that she was wearing.

It wasn’t long before I heard the excited voices of Yolanda and her friends and, moments later, they were ushered into the room by Phil and Rosa.  I got up and my niece hugged me before turning back to her friends.

“Guys – I’d like you to meet my uncle, Mark Wells. He’s here to take us on the special trip that I promised.  Uncle Mark, these are Latisha Tyson and Ivana Kalchik.”

Latisha was African-American while, by looks and name, I guessed that Ivana’s family was of Slavic origin.  I was pleased to see the mixture of ethnic backgrounds together with Yolanda’s Latino heritage.  That boded well for dealing with the multiplicity of races in Equestria.

“Pleased to meet you, girls.”

“Same here, Mister Wells,” Latisha replied.

“Why all the mystery?” Ivana demanded.

That was a bit abrupt but I could empathize with their frustration at being kept in the dark.  “First, I want your promise that you can keep a secret.  Our destination is very confidential at this time and access is limited to only a small number of people.  Going there is a privilege which won’t be repeated if you blab.”

My mysterious words only served to make them more excited and they both hastened to assure me that they wouldn’t tell anyone. I glanced at Chrysalis who gave me a nod.

“Okay, we will literally be traveling to another world. Believe it or not, this mirror is a portal to a realm of magical beings.”  Unsurprisingly, both girls’ expressions immediately fell as they doubtless thought they were listening to a lunatic.  Yolanda merely grinned knowingly.  I ventured on.  “By passing through, you will be transformed into one of those beings, just like Yolanda. I hope you’re ready to have your minds blown.”

Ivana scowled at my niece.  “Is this just some big practical joke on us because we kept nagging you to bring us on one of your family trips for a change?”

“Nope!” Yolanda replied with a grin.  “Just ask Auntie Penny.”  She pointed behind them.

While the two girls’ attention was on me, Penumbra had quietly slipped into the room behind Phil and Rosa.  They stepped aside to allow Penny to approach the girls.

“Is this proof enough?” the thestral mare asked. My third wife only wore her usual saddlebags so no clothes obscured her natural form.  Twilight had turned off the adaptation spell to allow my wife and bodyguard to precede us untransformed.  Having anticipated the reaction to my outrageous claims, we had prepared some irrefutable evidence.

Ivana and Latisha gaped in surprise and awe at the batpony.  They grabbed each other with both arms for support, eliciting a wave of giggles from Yolanda.

Penny spread her wings to look even more impressive. “My name is Penumbra.  I’m a counselor here at the Mount Off-Your-Rocker Insane Asylum.  Would you please describe the hallucination you are imagining right now?”  She then gave her winningest, fang-filled smile. 

Rosa rolled her eyes.  “Always with the pranks, isn’t it, Miss Penny?”

“You bet!”  She turned back to the teenagers.  “You can touch me if you like to prove I’m real.”

Latisha was by the pony’s side like a shot and started stroking her mane.  That got an appreciative purr out of my wife.  She was a sucker for any kind of mane brushing!  Ivana approached more cautiously before fingering one of the outstretched wings.

After a suitable amount of time for the two to get their fill of the exotic equine who could actually talk to them, I asked, “So – do you believe me now?”

“Yes, Mister Wells,” Latisha replied.

“Will I turn into one of these…?” said Ivana.

“Awe-inspiring thestrals,” supplied Penumbra.

I had to talk over Phil and Rosa’s chuckles.  “I have no idea what forms you will take. Yolanda is a hippogriff, while her mother is a griffon and her father is a unicorn.  The adaptation spell on the portal decides what form bests suits you in Equestria.  That’s the name of the country you’ll be visiting, by the way.”

“Uncle Mark is a prince there,” Yolanda said smugly.

“Um, yeah, so there will be plenty of Royal Guards around. As long as you behave yourselves, they won’t bother you because you’ll be our guests.  Now, shall we get started?”  When the girls nodded eagerly, I said, “Rosa, want to show them what to do?”

“Of course.  Nothing to it, girls.”  She then leaped through the mirror, eliciting gasps of surprise.





I said, “I suggest that you step through carefully. Rosa knows exactly what she’s doing but you will have to get used to some changes.  Just do what I do.  Latisha, you follow me and be prepared to fall forward.  If you end up as a pony, you will land on forehooves like Penumbra. Oh, and leave your electronics here on this side.  Jewelry is fine.  Phil, give Latisha a few moments to clear the exit before sending Ivana through.”

“No problem, Mark,” my friend replied.

I then stepped through the mirror and joined Rosa, Twilight, and Trixie in the room that we had set aside specifically for this portal.  With the regular trips between worlds being done by Phil and his family, we needed something more convenient than the one where all the other mirrors were located.

Apparently, Latisha had not hesitated because someone followed right on my heels … err …  hooves.  She had obviously listened to my instructions as she fell forward onto her brand new hooves. Our first guest was a pegasus with medium blue feathers and a pink mane.  The teenage mare stood there, mouth agape, trying to take in the change. She craned her neck around to look at herself before saying, “Oh, wow!”

I went over to Latisha and gently urged her forward with a wing.  “Better make room for the others.”

She looked at my face and said, “Oh, wow!  You actually look handsome over here!”  Trixie and Twilight leaned against one another in support as they whinnied with unrestrained laughter.  

Latisha gasped and held a hoof to her chest. “I’m sorry, Mr. Wells.  I was just—” 

I waved a hoof.  “Apology accepted.  I can honestly say I’m quite used to this sort of thing by now.”

“O… OK, thanks!”  The teenaged mare trotted away from the portal.  She stopped and spread her wings in front of another full-length (but not magical) mirror on the far wall.  The improved adaptation spell allowed the new pegasus to move fairly confidently, although it was clear that she was still preoccupied with all the amazing beings she saw in the room.  It apparently had not hit her yet that her clothes had been replaced by a dainty saddlebag and she was essentially nude like the rest of us.  Her jeans and T-shirt had been transformed appropriately by a new tweak to that portal for the convenience of those of us on either side.

Before long, my co-rulers had recovered and our second guest stepped through the portal.  This one was a surprise to us too – she was a dragon!  While not having a form as graceful as Smolder’s, it was clear that Ivana was still female and standing bipedal.  She stopped and stared at her new talons and bronze scales before checking out the rest of her body.  She flapped her leathery wings and swished her tail before grinning and saying, “This is sick!  I’m a fucking dragon!”

“Watch your language, please,” I said.  “Step away from the mirror so that the others won’t bump into you.”

Yolanda came through next and the three girls started checking out each other’s forms.  

“I’ve got pink hooves!”
“Your mane and tail are pink too!”
“I’ve got cool talons!”
“You’ve got wings!”
“You do too!”
“We’ve all got wings!”
“I wanna fly!”
“I love your two-tone feathers!”
“What’s it like having a beak?”
“Can you breathe fire?”
“Yeah!  Make me a pizza!”
“Your slick scales are gorgeous!”
“I know!  They’re so awesome and EEEK! Where are my pants?!”





The new mirror’s sophisticated adaptation spell took into account a being’s garments or lack thereof and no one had to worry about clothing when transitioning this particular portal in either direction.  That meant that someone like Rosa could travel from Earth fully clothed nowadays and arrive in just her feathers and fur. When she returned, her clothing would be restored.  It was a surprise to me that Ivana had retained her blouse – her body did not need it, nor did it conceal boobs because dragons didn’t have any.  However, it had apparently distracted her long enough to not realize that it was her sole remaining garment.  Having noticed, she now had her hands clutched over her crotch. Not that a dragon’s cloaca was particularly noticeable, but nobody paid attention to such things in Equestria anyway. I had become so acclimated that it hadn’t even occurred to me until the young girl screamed.

Yolanda hastened to reassure her friend.  “It’s okay, Ivana!  Almost no one wears clothes here.  And have you ever seen a picture of a dragon wearing anything?”

“You’ll get used to it,” I added.  “And it’s worse for males when they come through for the first time.  We’re a lot more conspicuous.”

Now I reckon that the dragon’s blush was no longer over her nudity but at the image that I had brought up.  When Phil stepped through moments later, I noticed where Ivana’s eyes drifted and then hastily looked away.  Distraction successful!

Latisha seemed to have been just as oblivious as Ivana but merely curious after the subject had been brought up.  She was reacting a lot better than I had after I first arrived in this magical world.

Miguel trotted through right after his father, followed immediately by Sally with Penny joining her a moment later.  The changeling queen drew a new series of gasps from the two visitors followed by a rapid stream of comments and questions.  I felt a bit annoyed that my mates smiled through the hundred-mile-per-hour interrogation.  Just like the teenage friends, the adult mares seemed to have no trouble following the excited babble – an ability I lacked entirely.

Trixie and Twilight formally introduced themselves before suggesting that their guests head out to see the world that they had come to visit.  Ivana was surprised once again when she automatically fell to all fours to walk quadrupedally which was not unusual for some kinds of dragons.  In fact, she looked a lot more comfortable now.

As Trixie led our visitors out, Twilight stopped me with a hoof and waited for everyone to get out of earshot.  She frowned.  “Mark, I’m a little concerned that Ivana came through as a dragon.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “That’s not exactly something that I expect to hear from the Princess of Friendship.”

She shot me an annoyed look.  “You know I don’t mean it that way.  However, the mirror’s adaptation spell matches the user’s new form to their basic nature, and you know what the average dragon is like. I’m worried that Ivana might not have the restraint that natural dragons need to learn to overcome their instincts.”

“Good point,” I acknowledged.  “I’ll keep my eyes open and ask the others to do the same.”

We then hastened to catch up.  The first stop was a balcony overlooking Canterlot and the valley below.  They took in the wondrous view just like Phil and Rosa had done the first time that they visited.  Then Yolanda startled her girlfriends by leaping over the rail, spreading her wings, and climbing up into the sky.

“Woohoo!” she shouted.  My niece never tired of being able to fly and it seemed her enthusiasm was infectious.  Both Ivana and Latisha’s wings were partially spread as they watched.

My first wife said, “While I’m sure  that Yolanda will be able to give Latisha Tyson pointers, Trixie will ask Smolder to give you flying lessons, Ivana Kalchik.  Dragon wings work differently from feathered ones.  Please do not try leaping from heights until you both have had some practice.”

I wish Trixie had shown me the same restraint when I had first arrived!





Since this was ostensibly the Martine family’s outing, Phil and Rosa were in charge of the girls.  Nevertheless, I accompanied them with my ever-present mate, Penumbra. Chrysalis surprised me by tagging along.

First, we toured the castle.  Because it was the weekend and there was no formal Court today, it lacked the usual bustling weekday activity.  It let me show off the Throne Room which never failed to impress with its size and grandeur.  The scenes depicted in the stained-glass windows prompted discussions and hoof-pointing at all three triarchs followed by a promise from Yolanda to tell the associated stories.  The gravity-defying fountain on the ceiling made our visitors’ jaws drop, as it did most newbies to this room.

“You really are a prince,” Latisha said to me.  “And you rule this world?”

“Actually, I co-rule with my wife, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, and my colleague, Princess Twilight Sparkle.  And we three rule the Equestrian Empire, not the whole world.”

“How did you get to meet Yolanda’s dad?” Ivana asked.

“I grew up with him.  He’s practically my brother.”

The dragoness blinked.  “You mean, you used to be a human too before you came here and became royalty?  How did that happen?”

“That’s an incredibly long story which I’ll save for another time.  Suffice to say that I found a portal by accident and met the right ponies.”

Chrysalis said, “What my husband failed to mention is his inability to stay out of other ponies’ business and thwarting their plans. So they’re left with no option than to go with his.”

I gave my mate a flat look.  Her little dig might have been largely true but it made me sound like a jerk.  She put on an innocent smile.  Our guests didn’t latch onto that topic, thankfully.  No, they came up with something more awkward instead.

Ivana looked shocked.  “I thought you said that Trixie was your wife.”

“She is, and so is Chrysalis,” I admitted.

“And me,” Penny piped up.

“And don’t forget Miss Rarity,” Chrysalis added helpfully.

“You have four wives?!” gasped Latisha.

“Yes.  You have to understand that mares greatly outnumber stallions and, while monogamous couples aren’t unusual, de-facto herds are far more common.”

“You weren’t satisfied with one,” Ivana accused.

I rolled my eyes.  “It was more of a case that they weren’t satisfied with me having only one.  It’s different for dragons like you are now, but for ponies, the competition for the stallions is quite fierce.”

Latisha looked thoughtful.  “So, if I wanted to find a boyfriend here, there would be plenty of rivals?”

Rosa spoke up.  “There will not be any colt-chasing while you are visiting,” she said firmly. “You are still a filly and you are our responsibility while you’re here.  That goes for you too, Ivana.”

“Yes, ma’am!” they chorused.

I heaved a sigh of relief now that I was out of the spotlight and Rosa had responsibility for controlling the teenagers.  “Let’s move on,” I suggested.

After the tour of the castle was completed, we headed out into the city to see the sights.  The girls were overwhelmed once again by the mountainside community and fascinated by its diverse inhabitants.  While it was still a predominantly unicorn population, the number of other races calling this city home had increased dramatically since I had arrived in Equestria.  Some were rarer than others, however, and one in particular distracted from the fact that a Triarch was wandering through the town like a tourist.

After garnering a lot of curious looks, some of them a bit nervous, Ivana pointed out, “I haven’t seen any dragons.”

“They don’t tend to mingle with other races very often,” I replied.  “However, you should get to meet one or two, depending on my daughter-in-law’s dinner plans.”

“Your daughter-in-law is a dragon?  Are mixed marriages common?”

I raised an eyebrow.  “They’re not too unusual.  Why? Do you have a problem with that?”

The dragoness shook her head.  “No.  It’s just that… well… a pony marrying a dragon is a bit weird, isn’t it?”

“My son’s a griffon, actually, and no, it’s not weird. They love each other very much and I’m proud to be her father-in-law.”

Ivana nodded and looked thoughtful as she wandered off. 

It was a little bit like herding kittens as our two visitors’ attention got grabbed by virtually everything the city had to offer, especially the shops.  Eventually, though, we made our way to the wall that was on the edge of the cliff next to the waterfall that plunged to the valley floor far below.  Yolanda took off over the wall and hovered while she excitedly pointed out the various places that could be seen from here.  I noticed that both Latisha and Ivana’s wings had half-opened as they felt the urge to follow their friend’s example.

“Are you sure we can’t fly too, Mister Wells?” Latisha asked.

“Yolanda has been coming here since she was a baby and she still needed flying lessons just like any other foal.  You have the instincts but not the knowledge.  If you try to copy Yolanda, you’re more likely to plummet than fly.”

Both the girls looked disappointed.  I smirked.  “However, maybe you’d be interested in a compromise.”

“Yes!  Anything!” Ivana replied and Latisha grinned and nodded rapidly.

I pointed to a town in the distance.  “As Yolanda said, that is Ponyville.  We will be visiting there next but I was going to take you there via a portal.  Instead, how would you like to be carried there?”

“How do you mean?” Latisha asked.

“Like this.”  I powered up my horn and levitated her.  She squawked in surprise, her wings flaring, but she quickly settled down when she realized that she was hovering safely.  “You can both be carried in our telekinesis and have some of the sensations of flying.  You might even get a gliding lesson along the way if you feel confident enough.”

The pegasus filly grinned.  “You’re on!”

“Me too!” Ivana enthused.

“So – no problems with fear of heights?” Phil asked. “Rosa and I are responsible for you and I don’t need either of you having panic attacks and hurting yourselves.”

Yolanda said, “Trust me, Dad – we all love thrill rides.  They’ll be fine.”

When our two visitors nodded in agreement, I grinned. “Great.  Now, since I’ll need to concentrate on levitating Latisha, I’ll switch to a form more competent at flying while distracted.”  I then transformed to my Celestial body and spread my white-feathered wings wide.  Jaws dropped and my smile grew.

“You were just dying for an excuse to do that,” Phil said with a roll of his eyes.

“Of course.  How could I resist the opportunity?” I replied, unabashed.

The girls’ eyes widened further upon hearing my voice. “You sound like a girl!” Latisha blurted out before covering her mouth with a hoof.

I gave her a wink.  “That’s because I am a mare at the moment.  Magic can do wondrous things.  Now – are you ready to go?”

Upon gathering their wits and agreeing, I said to Chrysalis, “Would you mind carrying Ivana?”

“As you wish, husband.  I believe I will take a more appropriate form too.”  She then flared with green fire and transformed into a large dragon.  Her twin horns glowed and Ivana was lifted into the air.  Don’t bother telling me that dragons can’t do that – Sally was a queen changeling and she made her own rules.

Rosa crouched down to allow her husband to climb onto her back as the griffon and unicorn had done so many times before.  Twilight offered to carry Miguel.  Then we all took off, Penny in the rear and watching our backs.  The girls squealed in a combination of fright and delight as we crossed over the wall and there was nothing between them and the ground far below.

I had grown much in power over the years as an alicorn and carrying Latisha in my magic was not a strain.  She squirmed and held her wings at odd angles, causing the wind to tug on her in random directions.  As Marklestia, I coped easily and adjusted my flight unconsciously.  I didn’t scold her or ask her to keep still – this was her first flight, kind of, and I wasn’t going to spoil it for her.  At least, she would come through it a lot better than my first time.

We were about halfway to Ponyville when Chrysalis said to Ivana, “Hold your wings rigid like this, child.”

The young dragoness attempted to imitate Sally and when my wife was satisfied, she released her hold on Ivana.  The girl wobbled nervously but held the glide.  I turned my attention back to Latisha who looked at me expectantly.

“Okay, feathered wings work slightly differently but the principle is the same.  Hold yours like this.”

The pegasus filly did her best to copy me and I nudged her wings into a better position before letting her go.  She lasted about five seconds before she shifted her wings and started tumbling out of control.  I caught her and straightened her out.

“Don’t flap.  Just hold the glide.  You need to learn to draw on your flight magic before you can do much more. Ivana’s dragon form is better at non-powered flight than pegasi, so don’t try to be as good as her yet.”

Latisha’s second attempt went much better but when I saw her starting to tire, I grasped her with my magic once more.

“That’s enough for now.  You’ll need some lessons and wing muscle-strengthening exercises before you can do much more.”

“Thanks, Mister Wells.”

“You’re welcome, Latisha.”

Meanwhile, Chrysalis decided that Ivana had done enough too.  While the dragoness had successfully held her glide for the entire time, she was panting. And besides, we had lost a lot of altitude and needed to get back to powered flight.

We flew directly to Twilight’s castle, waving to the occasional pegasus who passed by.  The locals had long ago become accustomed to seeing me and my wives passing through, and a royal visit was just another day in this unusual town. We came to a landing in front of the living crystal edifice that my co-ruler called home.  The girls gaped in awe.

“Is it just me or does that castle look like a tree?” Latisha asked.

“It grew from a seed, so you’re not wrong,” I replied.

Ivana just stared at it with drool escaping the corner of her mouth.  I wondered if I was going to have to ask her to refrain from trying to take a bite out of it.  Fortunately, she was distracted by the person who came to greet us at the door.

“Welcome to Friendship Castle!” Spike announced with a grin.  Twilight had sent a Royal Guard ahead to advise Spike of our change of plans, so it was no surprise that my dragon friend was there to meet us.  While he was now the town’s librarian, the castle was still his home and it was the weekend, so he was free to meet up with us. Then he realized exactly who we had brought with us.  Spike’s eyes locked with Ivana’s and they both gazed at each other wordlessly.

I had not been the only one who had grown over the years. Although still a youth by dragon standards, Spike had become a fine specimen of a male dragon and all that that implied.  It seemed both liked what they saw.  While Ivana had only been a dragon for a few hours, I could tell that she was bowing to her new instincts quite readily and Spike was reacting to her interest. However, she was a little too young yet to allow anything to happen between them, but before I could intervene, Rosa interposed herself between the two.

“Spike, this is Ivana Kalchik who is my guest and my responsibility.”  She gave the drake a hard look and he took the hint.

“Right.  Twilight told me to expect a surprise but I didn’t expect this.  Good to meet you, Ivana.  And who is this filly?” he asked as he turned to the pegasus with a warm smile.

Yolanda answered this time, “This is Latisha Tyson and these are my two best friends.”

“Awesome.  Show your friends around the castle while I prepare lunch.  It'll be ready in about twenty minutes.”

Naturally, Yolanda was as familiar with the castle as me, perhaps even more.  After all, she had spent much of her life in this town and had many friends here.  She even had her own room which the castle had adapted to her needs.  It was right next to her parents’ room, of course.  Phil and Rosa gave her a lot of freedom while they were in Equestria, but only occasionally let her visit here by herself as yet.  I suspected that would be changing in the near future – my niece was growing into a young adult and she would deserve the freedom and responsibility of such.

Lunch was enjoyable with much conversation.  The girls asked a lot of questions that Twilight was happy to answer, although we had to stop her from going into full lecture mode at times.  In turn, we all learned a little more about the transformed humans.  Latisha was already leaning towards a career in veterinary medicine while Ivana intended to do business studies for a career in her family’s investment company.  The latter helped explain her species change.  I was left puzzled about what she had in common with Latisha and Yolanda.  My best friend’s daughter planned to become an engineer like both her parents.  Further conversation pegged Ivana as strongly independent and inclined to be adventurous, so perhaps not so odd after all.  And despite the implied warning to Spike, he and Ivana kept exchanging interested glances.  Teenagers! What can you do?

The moment that caused the most amusement was when Spike sprinkled some sapphires on his sandwich for seasoning.  Ivana’s attention was caught immediately and she asked what they were.  Her eyes became as big as dinner plates when informed of their nature.

“You eat gemstones?!”

“Sure!  They’re a part of a dragon’s normal diet.”

“But… how could you afford it?”

I said, “Gemstones aren’t rare in Equestria. Ones of that size are very common and the local grocer stocks them for Spike.”

Ivana leaned her head back and blinked rapidly. “Consider me boggled!  What about bigger gems?”

Spike answered, “I normally save those for special treats.  Want to try one?”

“I… suppose so.”

“Back in a minute.”  Spike hastened out of the dining room and soon returned bearing a ruby as big as a golf ball.  Yeah, the guy had to be smitten to willingly give away one of those.  Spike panted for a few seconds to catch his breath. The young drake must have sprinted to his stash and back!  

He handed it to Ivana.

The dragoness stared at the gem in her palm. “What exactly do I do with this?”

“Just bite into it like a plum,” Spike instructed.

“Okay, but if I break my teeth, you’re going to regret it.”  Ivana then tentatively chomped on the ruby.  To her surprise, it broke off easily and she started chewing.  Her eyes lit up.  “This is delicious!”

Latisha asked, “So?  Spill it!  What does it taste like?”

“It tastes like a spicy strawberry, which I never thought I’d enjoy!”

“Well, yeah,” Spike said.  “I just got it fresh from the rock farm yesterday.”

Ivana swallowed her mouthful of ruby and stared at him.  “They grow these on farms?!  This world is amazing!”  She then popped the remaining half of the ruby into her mouth and masticated it thoughtfully.

After the meal, we let Yolanda take off with her friends without supervision.  Or at least, nothing overt.  While the teenage hippogriff was fine by herself in Ponyville, Phil and Rosa were still responsible for the other two girls.  Fortunately for my friends, I was a prince with Royal Guard pegasi whose keen eyes could watch unobserved from a distance.  Penny arranged to have a pair keep an eye on the girls while the rest of us adults socialized.  No doubt the three would have plenty to tell us about when we returned there for dinner.





We arranged for a late dinner to allow the girls to have as much free time together as possible.  In fact, when we returned to Canterlot Castle, it was time for Twilight to set the sun, this being late autumn.  We watched our two visitors' worldviews get blown away by the fact that this sun revolved around the planet (with a little help) rather than the other way around.

When Gallus arrived with his wife, Smolder, we introduced them to the girls.  I had Spike send my son and daughter-in-law a note advising him about Yolanda’s friends so that they could come prepared.  However, Smolder had turned up in a flattering evening dress for the occasion which immediately set off Ivana.

“How come she gets to wear clothes and I don’t?!”

Smolder looked at her coolly.  “I am a Lady of the Court and I’m expected to dress accordingly.  Besides, I’m not like most other dragons – I love gowns.  You, however, look out of place in that blouse and would be better off without it.  Appearances are everything among the nobility and I must dress to impress while you would be mocked as a try-hard.  I dressed up for this occasion in honor of our guests but I see now that I need not have bothered.”

My daughter-in-law was a well-mannered and socially apt person, but she was still a dragon and knew how to burn.  “Give her a break, Smolder – she’s only been a dragon since this morning.  Perhaps you can give her some pointers later on how to fit in better?”

Smolder looked at me and raised an eye ridge before responding, “As you wish, Father.”

She had started calling me “Dad” like Gallus did after getting married, and only got formal when she was irked.  Oh well, I could live with that.  She’d cool off soon enough.

Aside from the rough start, dinner went well. Latisha was surprised to find the smoked salmon was to her taste despite her being a pony, but we informed her that pegasi typically liked fish.  However, I think the highlight was watching Ivana’s expression when she was served an apple pie with one-carat-sized diamond sprinkles for dessert.

“I don’t know whether I should eat this or invest it!”

That provoked a round of laughter and assurances that it was worth more here as a gourmet food than otherwise.

After the meal, we let Yolanda leave with her friends to amuse themselves until bedtime, trusting Yolanda to keep the other girls in line.  Meanwhile, I caught up with my son.  While I saw Smolder frequently at Court, Gallus’s schedule was a bit more erratic due to everything he was undertaking to further his ambitions in the Royal Guard. I was pleased that he still felt it important to touch base with his dad as often as possible and I was very proud of his accomplishments.  Just as Phil and Rosa were obviously proud of their daughter.  My niece deserved good friends to share her world.  That’s why I hoped that this weekend visit would go without a hitch.  

In quick succession, two scrolls appeared in front of me which I caught in my magic.  I smiled while reading their contents.  

Gallus asked, “What’s that all about?”

Smolder said, “I know that look.  You’re nipping a problem in the bud, aren’t you?”

I looked up.  “While at the Castle of Friendship, I had Spike send a couple of dragonfire scrolls.  I changed the itinerary for tomorrow’s activities for Yolanda and our visiting guests. These replies tell me our friends and allies can accommodate us.”  My smile showed all of my teeth.  “Looks like tomorrow will be an… interesting day.”


# # # # # # # # #

> Visitors (Part 2)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Spike treated Trixie and me to a smoked salmon and egg quiche that earned the dragon a hug and nuzzle from my wife.  While I had always liked all kinds of fish, Trixie only became a fan after her ascension. If I could convince Spike to give me the leftovers, I would have my number one choice for cold lunches next week.

Who was I kidding?  All of my wives loved Spike’s cooking.  Yes, even Sally.  It would never last the weekend, no matter where I tried to hide it.  Still, having happy wives is not the worst thing in the world.

An hour after sunrise, a growling Twilight stumbled into the kitchen.  Trixie and I refrained from saying anything until the terminally sleep-deprived alicorn had a few cups of coffee in her system… which took less than a minute.

Our co-ruler sighed and gave us a cheery smile. “Good morning!  I hope you slept well.”

Trixie narrowed her eyes.  “Better than you.  Let me guess:  Comprehensive Lectures on Optical Fiber Communications?”

Twilight waved a hoof.  “No.  I finished that series of books from Sunset Shimmer’s dimension yesterday.”

I blinked.  “But you got a shipment of books from her only two days ago.”

“Exactly!  Why wait?”

Trixie and I shared a look.  Thorax still visited the Red Changeling Hive every month for further instruction.  During those weeks, his wife would invariably fall back to burning the candle at both ends… with blowtorches.

Before either of us could try reasoning with Twilight, giggling drew our attention to the doorway.  Phil and Rosa strolled in with little Miguel hanging onto his father’s mane with all four hooves.  Phil would lurch forward or backward, bounce a bit higher or stumble a bit lower – each time he would pretend he had “tripped a little bit”.  The peals of laughter let everyone know who was the happiest foal in Equestria right now.

Rosa looked around the room.  “Where is my daughter?”

Twilight said, “They were still chattering away when I went to bed.”

The griffoness looked at our host.  “And when was that?”

“A couple of hours before sunrise.”

“Dios mio. They won’t awaken until this afternoon.”

I stood up. “Nah.  They’ll be down in a minute.”

Phil looked up. He had finally gotten Miguel to shift attention from his father’s mane to a cereal bowl.  “Good luck with that, buddy.”  He shouldn’t have let his attention waver.  Miguel attempted to grab the spoon sticking out of the bowl. His near-miss resulted in a launch of spoon, milk, and cereal at his father.

Miguel clapped his hooves.  “Again! Again!”

I used the convenient distraction to make my exit.  Soon, I knocked on Yolanda’s door.  Not even a groan in response.  Thought so.

I opened the door to see all three friends splayed out on the much-too-small bed.  Ivana snored once, coughed, then snored again.  I knelt next to Yolanda.

“Time to get up.”

“Noooooooooo…..” The hippogriff used a pillow to cover her head and cut off her pitiful wail.

I stood.  “Fine then.  I got special permission to visit the Dragonlands, but since you aren’t interested—”

“WHAT!” Yolanda bounced into the air, flapping her wings to hover.  “Are you serious!?”

I smiled and headed for the door.  “Sure am. And Mount Aris tomorrow. As for today, there’s just enough time to get breakfast… maybe.”

“Get up!  Get up!  Get up!”  Yolanda landed on Ivana’s stomach which made the dragon belch out a squeak along with a puff of smoke.  The hippogriff shoved Latisha off the bed with two hooves.  The pegasus squawked once before tumbling across the floor. “You two get your lazy butts moving!”

“I want to sleeeep!” protested Ivana.

With a much stronger shove, Yolanda knocked the dragon off the bed. “Sleep tomorrow!  Today we’re seeing the homeland of the dragons.”

A pair of heads with wide eyes rose like periscopes off of the floor.  The two friends chorused, “Really?”

As I exited the room, Yolanda nearly tackled me with a flying hug.  “Did you set this up?  You set this up.  Thank you! Thank you, Uncle Mark!”  Before I could reply, she had already dashed back into her room.  “Get up now if you want to eat!  Spike is a great cook.  Ivana, leave your blouse here unless you want it to get ruined.”

I chuckled at the display.  Teenagers.

My happy mood ended when the girls made it to the daggerscale portal room.  The last remnants of my precious leftover quiche disappeared before my eyes.  A question confirmed my suspicions.  They had been in too much of a hurry to appreciate or even taste their breakfast. Belatedly, I remembered my many foals when they were that age.  Vacuum cleaners with legs.

I sighed.

Teenagers.





Penumbra and I led the way through the series of four daggerscale portals that reached the Dragonlands.  Only the largest of scales could reach the dragon kingdom in one jump and this trip did not constitute the kind of emergency that justified using up our limited supply.  As a result, the adults had to herd the girls and Miguel like cats!  Yes, this forest with light blue trees taller than redwoods is fascinating, but we have places to be!

I stepped out onto the broken basalt plain at the center of the dragon homeland.  Like many other locations on Equus, the region had transformed in the last dozen years.  Off to the left, a small city had sprung up to accommodate the other races that lived and worked here.  Dragon and minotaur masons carried stones and wood beams at the construction site of the largest building.  The home office of the First Draconian Bank would hold its grand opening ceremony in a few months.  Of course, the Triarchs were invited to attend along with the leaders of other nations.

After the last of our party exited the portal, I waved everyone forward.  A couple of juvenile dragons—Scrounger and Mayhem – waved as they walked past.  Both dragons oversaw business holdings in Equestria and used this opportunity to make an unscheduled trip.  Business between the two realms steadily increased throughout the years.  Thanks to dragonfire scroll delivery, dragons had become outstanding offsite managers!

I stepped up to Ember and bowed.  The blue dragoness had grown another half-meter in stature from the time we last met.  Her scales gleamed in the sunlight along with her fangs.  I had known the ruler long enough to recognize her friendly smile. “Welcome, Prince Mark!”  Her eyes shifted behind me.  “Welcome, beings from Mark’s homeworld!  Know that friendship is magic across all of Equus.”

I nodded in acknowledgement and motioned with a wing.  “Dragonlord Ember, you already know Captain Penumbra, Phil, Rosa, and Miguel.”

My herdmate, my best friend, and his wife lowered their heads in respectful bows.  Rosa said, “A pleasure to see you again, Ember.” Miguel was not quite as polite. From his perch on his mother’s back, he blew a raspberry at the dragoness then devolved into a fit of giggles.

I said, “Today, Yolanda brought her best friends: Latisha and Ivana.”  I identified each guest with my primaries.

The young pegasus pranced forward.  “It’s wonderful to meet you!  Getting to see dragons in the wild like this is just… incredibly awesome!”

Ember laughed. “Likewise, Latisha.  I assure you that my race doesn’t get too wild.”

When I didn’t hear anything else from behind me, I turned around to see Ivana staring at Ember… no… at the Bloodstone Scepter.  The young dragoness trembled and moved her mouth, but no sound came out.

Yolanda slapped her friend on the side.  “Hey! You’re being rude!”

Ivana blinked. “What? Wait. What!”

Ember strode up to the smaller dragon.  “Ah, I see. You feel unfamiliar emotions toward my staff of office, don’t you?  Perhaps a desire to possess it or swear fealty to the one who holds it?”  Ember shifted the staff to her other hand.  She loomed over Ivana to force the teenager to stare the queen in the eyes.  “Remember who you are, young human.  You are only borrowing this form for your time in this land.  You are more than what your instincts tell you to do.  Be aware of these drives so that you can resist them.”

Ivana nodded. “Umm… yes, Your Majesty.”

“The title is ‘Dragonlord’, but just call me Ember, please.”  The blue dragoness smiled at the teenager then walked back to her previous spot.  “I’ve arranged for you girls to sample some of the recreational activities our kingdom has to offer.  First, however, I’d like to introduce you to my father.”

A blast of hot wind blew across our party from behind.  I looked back and up… way up.  How he could sneak up on us like that escaped me, but there stood Torch in all his massive glory.

“Hello, little things.”

Yep.  Definitely in a good mood—and I knew what would keep him that way.  I switched to my long-maned Marklestia form and rose into the air.  “Good morning, Torch!”

His eyes locked on me. “Ahhh… little pretend Celestia. Good to see you again, Prince Mark.” He leaned down until his right eye was only a pony body-length away.  “Did I tell you that my vision is better now than when I was a youth? Having tiny ponies put tubes in my eyeballs was a great idea.”  He grinned.  “Perhaps I should do so every year when I attend the board of trustees meeting in Canterlot.”

There is no humor quite like dragon humor.  I smiled and said, “I’ll be sure to tell ‘Tiny Doctor Twilight Sparkle.’” Torch chuckled, causing tremors to shake the ground, the air, and everyone around him.

I waved a hoof behind me.  “Torch, let me introduce—”

“I heard your introductions.”  He shifted his head to point his fang-filled smile at our party. “A pleasure to see you again, little family… and guests.”

Phil, Rosa, and Yolanda bowed to show their respect.  Miguel found something more interesting in his mother’s plumage and hadn’t bothered to look up.  As for the other teenagers, their reactions couldn’t have been more different.  Ivana shrank in on herself, her entire body shaking. Latisha had wide eyes and an open-mouthed smile.  Even her wings were spread out wide.

The pegasus bounded closer to the gigantic dragon. “As you got bigger, did your diet change? Did different foods suddenly taste better?  Is it true that the biggest dragons have the biggest harems?  What on this world is a match for you after you got to this size? Are your teeth still growing? If even diamonds get ground down by them, how do you keep them sharp?  When you—”

Torch threw his head back and laughed.  Suddenly, cascading beams of light shot out of Latisha as she levitated into the air.

Ember gasped. “Is that… Is she?”

“She is!” yelled Yolanda.

Torch said, “Hrm? What’s this?”

Ringing filled the air and Latisha closed her eyes.  A bright flash emanated from the young pegasus and she floated down to the ground.  Her wings drooped and she shook her head as if trying to clear it.

Yolanda practically tackled her.  “You got your cutie mark!”

“I did?”  She looked at her flank.  “I did!”

Everyone rushed up to take a look.  Her flanks showed a pair of orange dragon wings over a familiar red cross symbol. I said, “It looks like you will have a special talent for healing dragons if I had to guess.”

Phil said, “If you choose to pursue that profession.”

I nodded.  “Good point.  Your cutie mark tells you where you could excel.  It doesn’t mean you have to take that career path.”

“How fascinating,” said Ember.  “I had heard about how ponies got their cutie marks, of course.  But to actually see it?  And so soon after our hospital broke ground.”

Latisha smiled then seemed to catch herself.  She looked up again.  “Do you remember how your body felt when you were younger?  What were the biggest changes since —”

Torch had a way of stopping all other conversations.  “I may answer your thousand questions another time, little pony.  But first...”  He leaned down to the still-shivering Ivana.  I only now realized that she hadn’t rushed up to Latisha as everyone else had done.  “What about you, little dragon?  You have nothing to fear… as long as you don’t steal from a dragon’s hoard.”  Puffs of smoke escaped his nostrils.  “In fact, would you like a tour?  I haven’t shown mine to anyone since Mark’s purple-maned herdmate was here a few months back.”

That was true.  Rarity and Torch hit it off famously.  They could both talk about gemstones all day… and did just that while I caught up on my reading.  Rarity’s special talent helped her find a few of Torch’s gems that he had lost ages ago while redistributing his mountain of wealth.  She also installed lighted shelving along one wall to best display the pieces most valued by the former Dragonlord.

The display was just as impressive this time.  Rarity’s flair at presentation ensured that every gem and piece of jewelry showed its full glory.  After recounting tales about the dragons vanquished to obtain a few prize items, Torch sighed.  “Sadly, those times are over now.  The last two dragons to try stealing from another’s hoard ran into this!”  He put on one of the bladed gauntlets and informed his audience about how he acquired two dragon tails.  I noted that he did not mention that those brothers earned them back two weeks later.

Torch put on a smile that I recognized as playful.  I doubt any of the other ponies did.

He looked at the teenagers.  “I certainly hope none of you try to steal from my horde.”  Then to Ivana.  “Be honest now.  You feel compelled to take just one tiny, insignificant little memento, don’t you? A flawed topaz, perhaps?  An emerald so impure it looks like gravel?”

Ivana shook her head emphatically.  “No. No sir, Mr. Torch.  Not at all.”

“Good, good.”

Ember said, “Father, it is time for these young ones to play with others their age.  Prince Mark will put heat resistance and toughness spells on them so they can lava surf and have fireball fights with their peers.”

“Ah.  Very well, Dragonlord.”

After the three gave their heartfelt thanks to Torch, I applied the spells.  Ember led the trio to the entrance of her father’s cave where a few smaller dragons practically dragged the teenagers away.

Ember returned and gave me a knowing smile.  “So do you think our little skit worked?”

“I certainly hope so. Humans have a great deal of willpower. Now Ivana has several reasons to override the instincts her body is giving her.”

A deep rumbling voice came from overhead.  Because my body only vibrated a little, I knew Torch was whispering.  “I believe your scroll mentioned something new?”

I nodded, opened my bottomless saddlebags, and drew forth two large white sacks.  “Each of these holds five pounds of Tasmanian Pepperberries.  They are one of the more exotic spices from my homeworld.  I don’t have a recipe for them but could bring that next time.”

“Don’t bother.” Torch reached down a hand and I deposited the cloth sacks onto his palm.  “I’ve learned to trust my very clever chefs and their creativity.”  He winked. “And it is so much fun to scare the scales off of the little ones.  You know I would do that for free, but please continue to bribe me.”

I chuckled. “You didn’t seem to scare Miss Latisha. I’m going to guess that she’ll be your number one fan from now on.”

He grinned.  “Indeed.”  His smile fell.  “Good luck with your pony or human ways of teaching, little prince.  Dragons learn through pain.”

I shook my head. “Your Bank President Xyrdur talked to Princess Twilight and me about how he trained to run the institution.  I think the younger generation can learn the pony way.”

Torch nodded.  “Good.  That is an improvement.”





I sat in the center of the longest couch in Twilight’s study, my rear hooves on the room’s coffee table.  Trixie curled up on my right, happily accepting scritches with her head on my lap. Rarity leaned into my left side, her gentle and regular breathing letting me know how much of a toll her six-day workweek had taken on her.  The unicorn had drunk only one sip of her wine before succumbing to her exhaustion. Thorax hugged Twilight from behind while a half-dozen scrolls drifted nearby.  The custom-made “rolling office chair for two” allowed Twilight to spend some quality time with her husband while she finished the last of the day’s paperwork.

Rosa strutted into the room, carrying her husband on her back.  The griffoness held her wings upwards to effectively cage him in.

Phil’s look of resignation was nothing new.  “Dear, I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own.”

Rosa shook her head.  “My time here in this land makes me appreciate how truly rare and special a worthy stallion can be, mi amor. Do not worry.  Your bigger, stronger, and more capable wife will protect you from all threats.”

My best friend sighed and buried his face in her plumage.

I chuckled. “I take it Rosa has gone into season?”

My friend raised his head. “Oh, did you notice?  Excellent work, Sherlock.  What clued you in?”

I laughed freely, only to stop short for fear of awakening my mares.  “You know there is a way to cure those nesting urges... for nine months at least.”

Rosa said, “Not this time.  Possibly next year we will try to give Miguel a playmate.”  The griffon lied down and with a complicated rolling maneuver involving wings and legs, ended up with her husband firmly grasped in front of her.  “Until then, my dear, sweet querida will accept his cuddles like un hombre.” She then proceeded to nibble the neck of her plush toy/husband.

Phil gamely attempted to carry on a normal conversation while Rosa preened his imaginary neck feathers. “Mark, Thank you for chaperoning Yolanda and her friends this weekend. They had a great time with the dragons.”

“How could you tell?”

“We passed by Yolanda’s room on the way back from putting Miguel to bed.  It was suspiciously quiet.”

“Oh yeah,” said Twilight. When I raised an eyebrow, she clarified. “When you couldn’t hear what Nyx and the Crusaders were up to, you didn’t walk, you RAN.”

“Which universe?” I asked, remembering how Nyx had two sets of Crusader friends in her past.

“Oh Tartarus, yes,” replied Twilight with a shiver.

Phil chuckled.  “What makes you think that would be different anywhere or anywhen, Mark?  Anyway, we peeked in and found the girls crashed out in a lump of limbs and wings on Yolanda’s bed.”

His wife chose that moment to lick his unicorn horn from base to tip.

“Gah!”  Phil struggled to get his head tilted to look the griffoness in the eye.  “Dear, you can’t taste me there in public!”

“Quite right, mi sienna.”  Rosa stood and tossed her squawking husband into the makeshift wing-cage on her back. “Instead, I will taste you... everywhere.”

Phil’s voice faded as the couple moved down the hallway. “But, Honey, we should be socializing... Dear, are you listening to me?”

The wine glass in front of me took on a light blue hue.  I felt Rarity’s head lift off my shoulder as the glass floated closer.  “The poor dear.  Savaged by an amorous mate.”  She took a sip and returned the glass.  “A stallion’s work is never done, it seems.”

Trixie spoke without bothering to raise her head.  “Tell me, Dowser – does Chrysalis boss you around like that when she takes on a dragon or griffon form?”

“Only when I allow it.”

Every mare’s ears pointed my way.  Even Thorax turned to face me.  The papers surrounding the Element of Magic stacked themselves on her desk.

After a long pause, Twilight broke the silence.  “I find that hard to believe, Emperor Markus.”  She had borrowed the nickname from Phil.  He would tease me when he thought I was exaggerating.  Unlike my best friend from Earth, the purple mare hadn’t learned I could usually put my bits where my mouth was.

The most recent lessons from Twilight’s magic class involved levitating a dozen objects and uniquely manipulating each.  As a result, it was foals-play to lightly stroke Trixie below her wing joints, lightly press Rarity’s barrel in two places, and run a feather-light touch along the sides of Twilight’s neck.

The three mares smiled, closed their eyes, and made a squeeing sound like little foals.  And the best part?  As long as I tickled them, their unicorn magic would be incredibly weak.

After ten seconds or so to get my point across, I stopped.

Twilight recovered first, turning around to bat her husband’s shoulder with a hoof.  “You’re supposed to protect me! And you blabbed where I’m ticklish.  How could you?”

Thorax shook his head. “I won’t protect you from the trouble you cause yourself, no I didn’t, and… uh… no I didn’t.”

“Celestia told me,” I said.  “We were comparing notes on wrangling unruly foals and she let that information slip.”

The purple mare huffed.  “I need to have a talk with my former mentor after I have a word with my husband.” She snuggled against Thorax with a contented smile on her muzzle.  Why not a fake pout?  I knew from personal experience that putting on airs didn’t work with a spouse who ate your emotions for lunch.  While I enjoyed denying the truth when Chrysalis called me out, Twilight opted to not bother masking her feelings.

Rarity said, “You do realize there must be payback, don’t you dear?”

My first wife said, “Trixie agrees that revenge must be…” she yawned.  “…be carried out.”

I smirked.  “Oh, that means I have to stop giving you scritches, then.”

“It does not. First, your wives must deliberate an appropriate punishment…  A little lower, please…  Ah, that’s it… This will likely take hours.”

I answered the fashionista’s glower with my best wide-eyed innocent stare.  When that didn’t work, I stuck out my tongue. Sure, I was playing with fire, but that sure beat living a life of boredom.

Rarity harrumphed.  “You are fortunate Chrysalis stayed at the Hive tonight.  I’d have asked her to change into a form that you don’t know how to tickle.”

I shook my head. “Sorry.  She’s a lot more ticklish than you.  I’ve figured it out for every form she’s tried so far.”

Trixie turned her head just enough to look at me with one eye.  “Even for griffons?”

“Yep.”

“And you didn’t share this information with your best friend?  To save him from his terrible fate?”

I scoffed. “What kind of friend do you take me for?”

The silence lasted longer this time... if you didn’t count the snickers from the three mares. A soft breath followed by a nip to my right ear told me a fourth mare had entered the conversation.  When in the heck did Penumbra get here?

My thestral herdmate answered my question.  “The kind of friend who gets teamed up on by all his wives tickling him until he begs for mercy…  then gets tickled for another hour...”

Trixie coughed.

“… when he least expects it.  Maybe next week.  Maybe not.”

I swallowed. I’m sure my sudden change of mood set off the next round of giggles.  Did I actually go pale?

The anxiety of waiting was going to be the worst part.





My first visit to Mount Aris was accomplished by a long train trip.  While there’s a lot to be said for leisurely enjoying the scenic journey, we did not have the luxury of time for this weekend jaunt.  However, Canterlot maintained a daggerscale portal to the land of the hippogriffs and our group soon stepped out into the vestibule that was our official arrival point.  When Rosa, Phil, and Miguel exited the portal, I led our group to the far side of the room.  Two guards were stationed there and, upon recognizing me and Penny, saluted.

“Her Majesty is expecting your party, Your Highness,” one of the guards said.  “Please follow me.”

We were led directly to the throne room although, for reasons of security, that was not very close to the portal.  I used the time to remind our visitors about protocol.  “Remember that Hippogriffia is an ally of the Equestrian Empire and not a part of it.  Don’t take being granted this audience lightly.  While Equestrians are free to move between our countries, visiting the palace is a privilege granted by my friend, Queen Novo.  Be respectful of her and those working here.  The fun starts later.”

“Yeah, we get it,” Ivana replied.  Latisha merely nodded in acknowledgment.  Naturally, Yolanda had been here before with her parents.

Novo was perched regally on her throne with a full honor guard.  The latter was just as much done in respect for me as it was to impress our visitors.  While we were, in fact, good friends, there were always formalities to observe.  I led our group up to the base of the dais, stopped, and bowed.  Everyone else took their cue from me and bowed also.  Straightening up, I said, “Your Majesty, thank you for granting us this audience.”

The queen of the hippogriffs smiled.  “Welcome Prince Mark Wells, and to your lovely mate, Penumbra.  It is good to see you again.  I recognize your friends and their foals.  Welcome back to Mount Aris.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Rosa replied on behalf of her family.

“And who are these two?” the hippogriff ruler asked, turning her attention to Latisha and Ivana. “I must admit that I was not expecting a dragoness.”

Yolanda stepped forward.  “Your Majesty, may I introduce my two best friends from my homeworld – Latisha the pegasus and Ivana the dragon.”

“You make some intriguing friends, young one.  I am sure my daughter will be quite delighted to meet them both.”

“Where is she?  I thought Princess Skystar would be here to meet us,” Yolanda said.

There was a loud flutter from an alcove and a hippogriff landed next to us and gave Phil’s daughter an enthusiastic hug.  “Yo! It’s great to see you again!  You gotta come more often!”

Novo rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.  “Daughter – you were supposed to wait until the formalities were over.”

“Sorry, mom, but I couldn’t wait to see Yolanda again; it’s been ages since she last visited!”

When I first met Princess Skystar, she was a hyperactive teenager.  Since then, she had matured physically into a beautiful adult hippogriff but her demeanor had not changed a whit.  Her enthusiasm and friendliness knew no bounds.  The queen knew better than to expect otherwise.

“Very well – we will forego the rest of the pleasantries and I will leave you in the care of my daughter.  I will see you all again when we convene for dinner.  I wish you all an enjoyable afternoon.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I replied, formally ending the audience.

“Hi!  I’m Skystar,” the hippogriff addressed Latisha and Ivana offering a hoof bump to each.  “You can tell me all about yourselves and how you know Yo, ya know?” She put a wing each around the pegasus and the dragon and began herding them out of the throne room.

I grinned at Phil and Rosa and they smiled back, completely familiar with the hippogriff’s eccentricities.

Skystar gave the newcomers a brief overview of the township and Harmonizing Heights before heading down to the shore.  “I know what you guys really want to do here and it’s perfect weather for the beach!”

We were soon on the sand where an open-sided tent had been set up by the palace staff.  A table had cold drinks and snacks laid out for their guests but the things that caught the attention of Ivana and Latisha were the windsurfing boards.

“Oh, cool!” Latisha exclaimed.  “I’ve always wanted to try one of those.”

“We’ll get to them later.  I thought I’d show you around the bay first,” Skystar said before turning to Yolanda. “Have you told them about the Pearl?”

Yolanda grinned and shook her head.  “I reckoned that was your surprise to spring on them.”

The older hippogriff’s smile grew and she nodded.  “You’re going to love this!” she enthused as she gestured for everyone to follow her down to the water.  She paused for a moment as she regarded Ivana.  “Although I have no idea how it will work for a dragon.”

“I got to swim in lava – I’m sure I can handle water.”  She then gave us a puzzled look when most of us started chuckling.  “Okay – what aren’t you telling me?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” I replied as I waded into the sea along with everyone else.

Miguel bounded in and out of the water, enthusiastically trying to jump over incoming waves.  “Pearl! Pearl!” he exclaimed.

“What’s he talking about?” Latisha asked.

“This!”  Skystar held up her piece of the magic Pearl that all the Hippogriffians possessed.  “And let me show you what it can do.”  She triggered its magic and all but the two newcomers transformed into our aquatic forms.  As always, I became Marklestia – we’d never figured out exactly why the change to seapony caused that.  Not that it bothered me like Penumbra’s change did.  Even after all these years, she still didn’t enjoy being a seapony.  However, Penny refused to leave me unguarded, so she always joined me.  Miguel was off like a shot for deeper water with his mother and father in hot pursuit. That left the rest of us to regard the stupefied looks of Latisha and Ivana.

My niece giggled and said, “You two look like gaping fish.  Might as well come join us and swim like one.”

“H-how…?!” Latisha demanded.

Skystar said, “The Pearl of Transformation allows my people to change between hippogriffs and seapony forms.  With your permission, I can do the same for you too.”

“I’m game,” Ivana said.

“Me too,” Latisha added.

“Done!”

The two were enveloped in magic and, a moment later, another seapony joined the group. However, it was our turn to gape when we saw what Ivana had become.  Even Skystar looked uncertain.  My chats with Sunset Shimmer allowed me to identify Ivana’s new species.  With the unmistakable huge dorsal fin and seahorse-like features, she couldn’t be anything else.

“She’s a siren,” I announced.





“I like it!” Ivana declared as she looked over herself.

“Just don’t sing, okay?” I advised.

The girl looked puzzled, “Why not?”

“Sirens possess powerful magic.  You could easily get someone hurt, and you would be held fully responsible.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah.  I think you’re exaggerating.”

Yolanda got in her face.  “Just don’t sing.  OK?”

Ivana looked between Yolanda and myself.  Eventually, she shrugged.  “Okay.”

“Let’s go! Follow me,” Yolanda declared before diving beneath the waves.

“Don’t worry – you can breathe underwater in those forms,” I assured the two girls before I joined the others.

Unsurprisingly, neither of the girls was quick to actually try breathing water at first.  I think only the instincts that came with their new forms stopped them from heading to the surface.  It had been a long time since I first transformed but I think it was that way for me too.  Once they settled down, Skystar took us on a tour of the bay before diving down to the magnificent marine city of Seaquestria.  Gentle currents brought freshly oxygenated water and nutrients to the grotto in which the city resided and it was bursting with life.  Yolanda pointed out her favorite places while her friends enthused over every aspect of the coral, kelp, and glowing creatures that made the entire town a living thing.

I always enjoyed visiting here but this time I got the most enjoyment from seeing the awe and wonder on our guests’ faces.  However, the stir caused by a siren swimming through the city was entertaining.  It was also a little reassuring.  What I had learned about the three sirens in Sunset’s world hopefully didn’t apply to all their species.  The fact that none of the seaponies were panicking at seeing a siren hopefully meant that the evil three were troublesome exceptions among their own kind.

After the tour of the city was done, I swam over to Skystar and asked, “Have we got time for a history lesson?”

“For you? Anytime!” she replied.  “What did you have in mind?”

“The Seapony Temple.”

“Ah!  Well, as you know, access to the temple is restricted without royal approval.”  Then she grinned.  “Good thing I’m a princess and can give you that permission!  We’d better hustle our tailfins though if we’re to squeeze it into our schedule.”

We gathered the group including Phil and Rosa who had managed to round up their over-exuberant son. Miguel wore a vest with a leash, which amused me to no end.  Still, especially where we were headed, it was better to be safe than sorry.  We headed off towards the temple which was about half a mile away circling the island.  We had almost reached it when four soldiers confronted us. After a quick word with Skystar, they allowed us to pass unhindered.

The temple was a coral structure but one that could not have grown naturally in that shape. Great buttresses supported a small roof that was encrusted with shellfish, anemones, and seaweed.  Underneath was an altar carved out of the rock, a perfect obsidian cube which, unlike everything else under the water, was unblemished by any form of sealife.  It also glowed softly with the magic that it held.  Once we were close enough, we could see the runes that had been carved into its surface, their meaning long forgotten but obviously the cause of its magical potential.  On the top of the altar was a cradle arrangement, big enough to hold a small melon, but currently empty.

“Welcome to the Temple of the Seaponies,” Skystar announced.  “Long ago when the hippogriffs first came to Mount Aris, we knew nothing of seaponies or any other sapient marine species.  The island was our refuge and our new home and we sought to utilize its many resources to the best of our abilities.  That also meant taking advantage of the sea’s bounty and, before long, we had fishing and diving ships.  A few years after our settlement, one such diver discovered this temple.  Of the people who had built it, there was no sign.  However, they had left behind an artifact.  In this cradle was a pearl of enormous size, as unblemished as the altar upon which it lay.  When the diver sought to take the pearl, he became the first hippogriff to assume seapony form. That person was my distant ancestor, Prince Seafoam.  He brought it to the queen and it remained a royal treasure for centuries.  The Pearl enabled the queen to change any hippogriff to seapony form and back.  My people took full advantage of the ocean’s resources and built the city of Seaquestria. My mother later discovered that a shard from the pearl was just as powerful so she divided about half of it up among our citizens.  That’s what saved us when the Storm King went conquering all the lands.  He could not follow us into the sea, the big dope!”

Latisha asked, “Did you ever learn about the ones who built this temple?”

“Funny you should ask! Princess Celestia and her friend Daring Do did some poking around here a few years ago, trying to figure out exactly that!”  Skystar shook her head.  “No luck though.  However, we suspect that this was an outpost designed to charge up their transformation pearls.  Something must have happened to them for this one to have been abandoned, but its magic has kept it intact and undamaged for centuries.”

“The pearl needs recharging?” Ivana queried.

“Yes.  It supplies the power to the ones we wear but it has its limits.  Each year, Queen Novo brings the pearl here to restore its power overnight.  That is why the temple is protected at all times, and the number of guards quintuple when the pearl is present.  It is easily our greatest treasure.”

Ivana said. “Can we see the Pearl later?”

Skystar frowned. “That’s up to mom.  Not even I’m allowed to mess with that.”  Then she brightened.  “But I’ve got a lot of other more fun stuff planned. First though, who’s hungry?”

There were plenty of affirmative replies and the hippogriff princess took us back to the beach where our snacks and drinks awaited us.  After that, the windsurfing boards were put to good use.  I sat out that activity having learned long ago that it was not my forte.  Or, as Penny liked to put it, I was as graceful as an epileptic minotaur.  I did join in with the beach volleyball games and chatted with a few acquaintances there.  I bumped into Terramar who asked about the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we caught up on what had been happening since we had last seen each other. Turned out that he had a fiancée now, one who matched his dual land and sea lifestyle.  Terramar introduced me to Palmbreeze and the adorable hippogriff mare blushed and stammered out a greeting.  I did my best to put her at ease but she clung onto Terramar like a life preserver. Ah, well.  They promised to send me an invitation to the nuptials.  Maybe Rarity would like to attend with me – she was always a sucker for a wedding.

Our group only made its way back to the palace as the sun set.  We were shown to rooms where we could shower out the saltwater from our coats and feathers before being taken to dine with the queen.  Fortunately for the girls, although it was slightly more formal than a family dinner, the meal did not have the strict protocol of a royal audience.  Novo was genuinely interested in what we had done all afternoon, even if she was a little surprised when she learned of our visit to the temple.  Even so, she nodded in approval.

“The young should know the history of all races, not just their own.  As Princess Twilight might say, knowledge promotes friendship. And in the name of friendship, I have prepared a gift for our visitors.”  She gestured to a servant who brought over a tray with three plates upon it which were laid in front of each girl.  The plates held oyster shells similar to the ones we had been dining upon, only larger.

“More food?” Ivana asked.

Skystar laughed. “Maybe. But just for you!”

“Open them,” Novo said with a smile.

They did so and gasped.  Each contained a pearl the size of a tom-bowler marble – about an inch in diameter. They would have been a ridiculously extravagant gift on Earth but, for this world and place, they were probably about average for gifts to visiting royalty, their family, and friends.

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Yolanda said.

“Yes, thanks! It’s beautiful,” Latisha added.

Ivana gazed rapturously at hers without saying a word.  Safe to say that she was impressed but it would be best if the dragoness didn’t dwell on it too long at the table.  A distraction was called for.  “Why don’t you give it a taste, Ivana?”

She looked startled then replied, “I don’t want to damage it.”

“Just give it a lick,” Latisha suggested.

“Yeah, give it the old dragon taste test!” Yolanda urged.

“Well… okay.” Ivana held up her pearl and hesitantly gave it a delicate lick.  An eye ridge raised and she licked once more.  “It tastes like vanilla-flavored boba!” she exclaimed.

Her friends laughed and there were chuckles all around the table.

I said, “I suggest that you girls put your pearls away in your bags to make sure you don’t lose them.”

With Ivana’s focus distracted from the precious object, she put it out of sight in the hip pouch that she was wearing.

I said, “Those gifts will need to say in Equestria, I’m afraid.”

Latisha said, “Why? Why can’t I… oh.”

“Exactly.  There simply don’t exist any natural pearls that size on Earth.  Or at least none that are perfectly round. The Triarchy is developing a plan to introduce Equestria to the nations of Earth and vice-versa.  Right now is not the time, and doing so would put Phil and Rosa’s family in danger.”

Yolanda said, “You know the basket in my room where you put your blouse, Ivana?  You can store your Equestria stuff there.  I’ve got one for you too, Latisha.”

Neither teenager looked happy, but that changed when the pastry chef wheeled out dessert: Nautilus-shaped cream horns, marzipan starfish, and a blown sugar sailing ship atop waves of chocolate!

After dessert, we thanked our host and bade our farewells.  It was time to leave for Canterlot.  While the girls had a long weekend and thus Monday free, the same could not be said for me.  Twilight had Day Court that morning and I was scheduled to take the afternoon session.  Also, Ivana and Latisha’s parents would be expecting them back home before midday, so the girls’ visit would be over in the morning.  Nevertheless, I reckon that they got more than they expected out of the past two days and they could look forward to more in the future.





To my surprise, I only had to ask once to get the girls to wake up on Monday morning. Actually, that isn’t quite right. Penumbra and Chrysalis joined me in the unpleasant task and Sally took on the form of a green and gray manticore. So while I technically only asked once, it was her deep-throated growl that panicked the teenagers into wakefulness. Still, we’re a team so I can take partial credit.

Sure, I can!

I teased my herdmate. “Sometimes, I think you take a little too much pleasure in playing the role of the big meanie.”

Sally smiled smugly but then her expression drained away in stages.  That couldn’t be good.  I gave her a nudge with my shoulder, but she shook her head.  Not something that needed my immediate attention, then.  I trusted my herdmate would let me know in due course.

The six of us headed to the kitchen for a quick breakfast served by the ever-reliable Spike. Then, just before we were leaving for the portal room, Ivana said, “Oh!  I forgot!”

I turned around to see Ivana giving us a sheepish grin as she trotted back up the hallway.  “I totally forgot my blouse!  Be right back!”

I felt a poke in my side.  Sally frowned and shook her head while giving me a meaningful stare.  My expression must have changed as well.

“What’s wrong, Uncle Mark?”

I put on a hint of a smile.  “We’ll take care of it in the Portal Room, Yolanda.”

The hippogriff mare narrowed her eyes which darted between Chrysalis and me.

A minute later, a clothed Ivana came back, walking a bit oddly.  “Sorry!  Ready to go now.”  The dragoness smiled and I nodded in acknowledgment.

We all took the daggerscale portal connecting Twilight’s castle to mine.  As we made our way through the richly decorated hallways to the mirror portal room, Latisha jabbered away with Yolanda waving her wings for emphasis.  Ivana glanced around but said nothing.

When we reached the Portal Room, I saw Phil and Rosa entertaining Miguel by tossing the giggling foal back and forth between them.  Phil kept his horn lit, ready to intervene if his son’s squirming caused a slip.

I walked in front of the mirror portal and sat down.  “Everyone, thank you again for visiting Equestria.  Remember, coming to this realm is a privilege.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Phil freeze after catching Miguel.  He knew me well enough to recognize something was up.  I turned to face Latisha and Ivana.  “I hope you found your time here valuable and would like to return here someday.”

They both nodded their heads fervently.

Latisha said, “Absolutely!  This place is amazing!  Thank you so much, Mark!”

Ivana showed me all her teeth.  “Yeah, no doubt.”

I smiled thinly. “Remember that commerce between dimensions is strictly controlled.  The only item that can go back in the other direction is Ivana’s blouse.  Everything else needs to stay in Equestria.  Yolanda will hold onto your stuff for you.”

Latisha smiled. “That works for me.”

“No problem,” said Ivana.

I let the silence stretch out for an uncomfortable length of time before I sighed.  “That’s what I thought.”

I lit my horn and forced Ivana’s left elbow away from her body.  Three iridescent spheres fell from her armpit to the stone tile, each an inch wide.

Latisha gasped and flared her wings.  Yolanda crouched down.  “Ivana! What the fuck!?”

The dragoness gathered the three pearls under her clawed hand.  She rolled her eyes.  “Oh, please. Stop pretending this is a big deal.”

Latisha said, “You’re stealing from us?”

“It’s not stealing if it isn’t worth anything.  Were you looking around at all?  This castle is practically made of gems and gold.  They’re like gravel here.”

Yolanda said, “Bullshit.  You stole from us because you wanted to.  Just like with my 3DS until I found it under your bed!”

“That was a mistake! I forgot I put it there.”

“You are so full of it.”

“Ivana.”  I used a bit of the Royal Canterlot Voice.  Yolanda and Latisha flinched but not the dragon.  “I told you that taking things from Equestria to Earth could put Phil’s family in danger.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember—”

I moved closer, pointing my horn.  “You heard me and understood me.”

The dragoness lowered her head and smoke escaped her nostrils.  “Oh, it’s convenient for you to keep my stuff here, isn’t it?  Who’s stealing from whom now?  And don’t give me that crap about not bringing anything through.  I know how Phil got rich.  What about all those diamonds?”

Yolanda winced. She must have confided that family secret with Ivana.





I said, “That was a mistake that won’t be repeated.”

“Oh, yes. That’s fine.”  Ivana’s voice dripped with sarcasm.  “It’s fine when your friend breaks the rules but no one else is allowed to.”

“Enough.  I’m not going to debate this.  You aren’t going to Earth with those pearls.” Before she could voice the next protest, I said.  “Any of them.”

Ivana reared and flared her wings, the pearls held in her left hand.  Her voice dropped an octave.  “Get out of my way!” she demanded, more threatening smoke trickling from her snout.

When she stepped forward, I arced lightning from both wings to the tip of my horn.  I’m sure my eyes were glowing white as witnesses said they did when I used my power.  The dragoness jumped back, the anger on her face replaced with fear.  She also dropped the pearls.  Before she could recover, I cut off the lightning and picked her up with my levitation magic.  Turning around, I forced the protesting teenager’s wings and limbs to her side before carrying her to the mirror portal.  With my magic holding her immobile, I pushed Ivana through immediately in front of me.  I had enough familiarity with the transition to emerge still in control of Ivana.  I held her at arm's length by the back of her blouse.

Seconds later, everyone had arrived, again clothed thanks to the magic of the mirror portal.

I released the screaming and cursing teenager.  “For the crime of attempted theft and for your blatant disregard of the wellbeing of your friend’s family, you are banned from visiting Equestria again, Ivana Kalchik.”

“Who fucking cares?” Her snarl reminded me greatly of her dragon form.  “I’m sick of you fucking losers!”  Her eyes settled on Yolanda and Latisha.  “ALL OF YOU!”

Ivana ran into the hallway.  Her stomps down the stairs carried into the room, followed by the sound of the front door slamming.

The house was still shuddering from her dramatic exit when Yolanda burst into tears and raced off to her bedroom.  I wanted to go after her to reassure her but Rosa gave me a look and shook her head before following her daughter.  Yeah, this was a job for Yo’s parents, not her uncle.  I turned my attention back to the remaining teenage girl and it was obvious that she was on the verge of tears also.  When she realized that I was regarding her, she came up to me, head downcast and her arms wrapped around herself tightly.

“P-Prince Mark? I… I’m sorry about Ivana and everything that happened.  I’m the one who introduced her to Yolanda even though I knew how she is.  She’s been a bit greedy before but I never thought she’d do something like this.  I never wanted Yolanda to get hurt.”

I glanced at Chrysalis who nodded, convinced of her sincerity.  I put my fingers on Latisha’s chin and lifted her head to look her in the eyes.  “Don’t take this upon yourself, Latisha.  Everyone is responsible for their own actions and you haven’t done anything wrong. Making mistakes is something we’re all guilty of sooner or later.  I’ll tell you about the whoppers I’ve made sometime.  And yes, that means that you’re welcome to visit Equestria with Yolanda again.  It has been a pleasure having you as our guest.”

Phil spoke up. “That goes the same for me and Rosa too. And we certainly don’t want Yolanda to feel that she can’t have her best friend come over on other occasions.”

Latisha sniffed back her tears.  “Thank you, Mister Martine, and you too, Prince Mark.”

I smiled.  “I am curious why you had such a mean person as a friend though.”

The girl thought about that for a moment before replying, “I suppose because she’s so dynamic. She liked her fashions and her bling, yeah, and she had some obnoxious acquaintances, but she was always dragging us into another adventure.  That’s how I first met her.  It was at a school summer camp and I was partnered with her for rock climbing.  I loved it but she was way more enthusiastic about it than me!  We did canoeing, rappelling, and archery together and had a blast!  After introducing Ivana to my thrill-seeker friend Yolanda, we began going out on activities together more often.  Mister Martine knows how frequently all of us went river rafting, cave exploring, and even parachuting.  I mean, yeah, it pretty much always had to be her choice and not ours, but we were all having fun.  Her family’s money enabled us to do a lot of stuff that other girls couldn’t afford, and we two gave her an excuse to go out and do those things when she would otherwise be stuck at home.  I suppose we used each other, but I still thought we were friends.”

I nodded.  “Phil and I were inseparable when we were growing up. The difference is that we earned our money to go on our adventures while Ivana seems to have been pretty much handed whatever she wanted.  It’s hard to not be materialistic under those circumstances.  Hopefully, she will learn from this experience but I won’t be holding my breath.  Twilight put her hoof on the possible problem when Ivana turned up as a dragon, so it’s not as if we weren’t forewarned.  Anyway, as Torch says, dragons learn through pain.”

“I guess.” Latisha sighed.  “I gotta head home, but can I see Yolanda before I go?”

Phil replied, “Go up and say goodbye.  Let her know that things are okay between us.”

The girl smiled gratefully before heading upstairs.

“Well – sorry that this turned out to be such a mess,” I said.  “I hate to leave you with this problem but I’ve got an empire to run.”

Phil chuckled. “Yeah, take the easy job and leave me to deal with teenagers.  Don’t worry – I got this from here.”

I gave my best friend a parting hug before turning to Chrysalis and frowning.  “I suppose you’re going to tell me, once again, that you knew this would happen from the very start.”

My herdmate shook her head.  “No, husband. I perceived that she bore watching, but no more than any other teenager.  Her actions this morning surprised me.  From what we have learned, Ivana’s behavior today was not an aberration. Her selfishness has been a problem for some time.”

I absorbed that for a moment before walking toward the mirror.  “Coming, Sally?”

She shook her head. “With your permission, husband, I will stay to give Yolanda and Rosa some emotional support.”

Because Twilight had Day Court duties, I would be doing office work when I got back. Therefore, I would not be requiring my Advisor’s assistance at the moment.  “Okay, I’ll catch you later.”  I headed back to Equestria with Penny in tow.





Later that morning, I had been working on a proposal for rezoning an area for light industrial manufacturing.  It was on behalf of a Griffonstone company branching out into Fillydelphia.  A knock on my office door interrupted my musings.

“Enter!” I called out, wondering why my secretary, Sharpened Quill, hadn’t warned me.

A Royal Guard opened the door and saluted.  I recognized him immediately as one of the two regularly stationed outside the room for the portal to Phil’s place.

“Sire!  I have an urgent request from Lord and Lady Martine for your attendance at their abode!”

The titles had been given to them to smooth things over with the nobility but otherwise had little relevance.  It did, however, lend urgency to any request that they made of the Royal Guards. Knowing that they would not do so lightly, I immediately dropped what I was doing and got out of my chair.  As I headed out the door, I caught the eye of Penumbra.  She had obviously heard what the guard had said and she fell in behind me.  As we moved at a fast trot for the portal, she spoke up.

“What’s the bet that this is related to Ivana?”

“No bet.  Timing is too coincidental.  Got your special gear?”

Penny scoffed. “As if I’d ever be without it.”

One thing that could be said for my guardian herdmate – she never took her duties lightly and was always prepared for any foreseeable event.  That included a pouch of enchanted weapons for use while on Earth. We had no idea what we were headed into but we weren’t going to arrive defenseless.  As an added precaution, as soon as we passed through the portal, I tapped a sequence on the top of the mirror’s frame to deactivate entry.  For the moment, it would behave as an ordinary looking-glass.  While it would slow down a retreat, it was more important to protect its secret.  We headed downstairs, already aware of shouting from an unfamiliar male voice.

“How dare you accuse my daughter of being a thief! Ivana has no need of anything the likes of you could provide!”

I saw him now, standing in front of Ivana who was glaring defiantly at everyone in the room. Her father looked to be in his fifties, slightly overweight although his finely-tailored suit did a good job of hiding that fact.  It also screamed ‘I am better than the common rabble’.  He was the very picture of an entitled rich white businessman and, judging by the emphasis that he had put on the ‘you’, a very bigoted one.  Phil’s Latino heritage was obvious in both his looks and the house’s décor.  Nevertheless, it wasn’t him that caused me the most immediate concern.  It was the dark-suited huge man standing nearby.  I knew hired muscle when I saw it and it seemed that Ivana’s father had come spoiling for a fight.

My friend frowned and ignored the finger jabbing him in the chest.  “That fact only makes it worse that she chose to take what belonged to those who were supposedly her best friends.”

“Take what? Where are these oh-so-valuable trinkets that you claim she stole?  Ivana says that it was mere costume jewelry that she had forgotten to put back but you blew it up into a major crime.”

“The items are in safe storage where they belong,” Phil calmly replied.  “Also, let me remind you again that you are trespassing in my house.”

“I’m told that at least one of those items belongs to her.  I demand that you return it!”

“She would have to fetch it in person, but she has been banned from there.”

Ivana’s father looked apoplectic by now.  I could see why Phil and Rosa wanted backup.  It was time to take some heat off my friend.  “Since your daughter was a guest in my home this weekend, I can verify that.”

The man turned on me instantly.  “And who the hell are you?” he demanded.

“That’s Prince Mark Wells!” Ivana blurted out.  “He’s the one who took my pearl!”

Mister Kalchik glanced at his daughter before getting up in my face.  I wasn’t intimidated due to the self-defense training that I regularly kept up.  Years ago, Crimson Boulder had insisted I branch out to study martial arts in my anthro and human forms.  Not that I would need to do anything – Penny would lay Ivana’s father out flat almost before I could react to a threat.

“Prince?  This is America, boy, and you have no authority here, and you sure didn’t have time to take Ivana to any damn African kingdom! And if you did, I’ll have you rotting in prison for child abduction and whatever other charges my lawyer can dredge up. No, I’ve met your type before. You’re a fraud, pretending to be Nigerian royalty.”

It had been a long time since the color of my skin had been an issue.  While I wasn’t particularly dark, any amount was too much for the likes of this man.  I wondered what he would think of my normal green coat.  “Sir, I was born and bred in this state and, although I don’t currently reside here, I can conclusively say that the charges are valid.”

“Nevertheless, you have no right to hold my daughter’s pearl.  She cannot steal what belongs to her already.”

I frowned. “Mister Kalchik, Ivana was informed that she could not take anything from my home to hers.  The same instruction was given to Yolanda Martine and Latisha Tyson. Your daughter was the only one who chose to ignore that and not only tried to take hers here but also all the others.  She has gotten off extremely lightly for her offenses and I strongly suggest that you let matters rest.”

“You don’t know who you’re dealing with, boy, and my lawyers will get what belongs to my daughter, even if it’s just costume jewelry.  And while I’m at it, I’ll hang your hide out to dry!   I don’t care if you have your own private island – it’s still in the United States of America.  I’ll have a subpoena served on you today.  Now, tell me who you really are!”

I smirked.  “You already know my name but I decline to tell you anything more.  It wouldn’t do you much good anyway.”

The man glared at me, fuming.  Then he said, “Boris.”

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!  Such a cliché name!  Although I suppose with Kalchik’s ethnic background, it wouldn’t be all that strange to have employees from the same circles.  The henchman stepped forward.  Penny moved up beside me, unsubtly showing that I was not unprotected.  The royal bodyguard and hired muscle regarded each other with some unspoken form of communication I wasn’t privy to.  The batpony mare was certainly not any less dangerous in human form.  In fact, her build could be considered Amazonian.  She also had enjoyed taking martial arts lessons here at times when Crimson Boulder had bodyguard duty back in Equestria.  Penny would not hesitate to fight dirty either if she had to.  She took her duty extremely seriously. Fortunately, it did not come down to that.

Ivana blurted out once more, “He’s from Equestria!  You can only get there through a magic portal.”

Kalchik frowned and turned to his daughter.  “What are you blathering about, girl?”

“It’s true!  The Martines have a magic mirror upstairs that is a portal to another world.  Don’t you see?  That’s why he’s a prince!  He’s one of the rulers of Equestria!”

“What’s this magic nonsense?  I thought you said you went on a trip out into the country?”

“It was to another country in a different world.  Look for yourself!  I’ll show you!”  Before anyone could stop her, Ivana dashed past us and up the stairs.

Mr. Kalchik followed his errant daughter.  Phil gave me a worried look but I shook my head and calmly followed the others. When we got to the spare room with the portal mirror, Ivana was standing next to the looking-glass, gesticulating dramatically.

“This is it. This is the magic portal to Equestria. You just step through it and get changed into something else.”

The father looked at me with wide eyes.  In turn, I glanced at Phil with my mouth agape and brows furrowed.  My friend picked up on what I was doing and returned an even more confused stare.  Playing dumb is something all males know how to do instinctively from an early age and we must have been convincing.

Mr. Kalchik’s face was flushed again.  “Ivana—”

She leaned forward, grabbing her knees.  “I’m not making this up, Daddy!  I became a dragon while Yolanda became a hippogriff and Latisha was a pegasus. Mister Martine was a unicorn—”

“Enough!  Stop this nonsense, Ivana.”

“I’ll prove it to you!” the girl declared before throwing herself at the mirror.  “OW!”

I winced as she smashed her face against its surface.  Blood immediately started dribbling from her nose.  She stared at the glass in rage and started beating on its surface.

“Let me through, you stupid portal!”

Phil reached out as if to restrain her.  “Stop or you’ll break it!  It’s only glass!  You’ll hurt yourself!”

Actually, there was zero chance of that happening.  A spell had made it shatterproof.  That had been a lesson well learned.  Nevertheless, Phil didn’t betray that fact, playing it off as a normal mirror.

Kalchik was about as red in the face as any human could get, and not far off from Big Mac’s coat color.  From his sputtering, I had to assume anger mixed with humiliation at his daughter’s seemingly insane antics.  He grabbed one of her wrists and started dragging her out of the room.  “You and I are going to have a very long talk, young lady, and it better not be about fairies and witches!”

“But it’s true, daddy! All of it!”

“Stop embarrassing me, daughter!” he roared as he took her downstairs.  He threw the front door open with a crash and marched Ivana down the path.  Boris, to my surprise, closed the door quietly behind him.

Phil sighed. “Sorry to get you involved, Mark.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s better that I know exactly what’s going on and my presence probably provoked Ivana to be indiscreet about what she knows.  It only made her look crazy.”

“Do you think that will be the last we hear about this?”

“Hard to tell but if there’s anything that I’ve learned about dealing with nobles, they don’t like losing face.  Ivana has humiliated him with what seems to be unsubstantiated lies and fantasies. He’s more likely to bury this than pursue it further.  However, don’t take that for granted.  People like that have long memories.  Make sure you disable the portal whenever you’re not using it.  And tell Yolanda to avoid interacting with Ivana.  I recommend serving all three of them with a restraining order if any of them give your family trouble.”

“Yeah.  And hopefully Yolanda will be a bit more careful choosing her friends in the future.”

“If only there was some magic way of guaranteeing that,” I sighed.  “How’s Yo doing?”

“Heartbroken. She feels betrayed.”

“I understand that feeling.  However, she’s young and resilient – she’ll get over it.  If she feels the need to have a chat with me or Sally, she’s welcome anytime within reason.  Anyway, it’s time I got back.”

“Okay.  Thanks for coming.”

Phil stayed to shut off access to the portal again after I enabled it so Penny and I could pass through.  I ruminated on the day as I trotted back to my office.  What should have been the finish to a perfect long weekend had turned into a disaster, but I had to concede that not every story has a happy ending.


# # # # # # # # #

> Bean There, Done That
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Foreword: This chapter crosses over into Irrespective's Beanverse - The Noses Know stories. 
Familiarity with them is desirable because this takes place soon after the birth of Celestia and Bean's foal.




“Are you absolutely sure this is safe?” I asked, staring doubtfully at the makeshift setup around the new full-length mirror.  Wires, tubes, and jewel-encrusted metal boxes of unknown purpose reached from wall to wall.  I’d feel better about the hodgepodge of seemingly random components if they didn’t emit a puff of smoke every few seconds.

Twilight Sparkle sighed.  “For the fifth time, Mark, I have absolute confidence in the efficacy of this prototype portal despite its unfinished appearance.  When we’ve done a few test runs, I’ll build a more finished version.”

“It’s the idea that it still needs testing that worries me more than its looks.”

“All new equipment needs testing.  Star Swirl himself approved my design and he wrote the book on creating portals to other worlds.”

I stuck my tongue out in distaste.  “Quoting that old fraud only makes me more leery of it, not less.  He may have written the book but you wrote the corrected and updated version.”

Twilight frowned at me.  “Prince Mark Wells – get over your prejudice!  While Star Swirl might not have been quite the pony I had idolized when I was younger, he is nevertheless still one of the greatest mages in history.  His abrasive personality is a product of his time and he has been genuinely trying to improve on that.  You could do more to meet him halfway.”

I rolled my eyes.  “We have very different concepts of ‘halfway’.”

“Regardless, you both need to keep working on your friendship issues.  Enough about that for now.  We have a portal to try out.”  She turned to her brother who had been listening to us bicker with a resigned look on his face.  “Are you ready, Shining?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” the stallion replied.

Twilight’s magic floated a large sapphire over to him.  “Here - put this somewhere safe,” she instructed.

“Sure.  What’s it for?” he said as he opened the pouch slung around his neck.

“Insurance.  This mirror is an open-ended portal without an anchor on the other side.  If something happens to collapse it while you’re over there, you can reestablish a connection by attaching that sapphire to any non-liquid shiny surface, another mirror preferably, and activate it with your magic.  That will make a connection to this mirror to allow you and anyone else with you to return.”

Shining Armor grinned and winked at me.  “Good to know I have a failsafe.”

I said, “Well, as you have volunteered to be in the vanguard to provide the shield for our little expedition, it’s only right to give you a way out.”

Shining Armor’s involvement in our attempts to make contacts with new alternate worlds had come as a direct result of my and Twilight’s disagreement over where and how to enter the different realities.  I had advocated for a subtle approach, virtually sneaking in and checking out the situation in disguise if necessary before making contact with the leaders.  I listed all the dangerous dimensions we had passed through in pursuit of Starlight Glimmer as my reason for this approach.  Parking the outlet for the portal in some remote region would be the safest.

Twilight had flatly contradicted me.  “For starters, while a remote location might obscure our arrival on a physical level, on a thaumaturgical one, you might as well attach a beacon and a siren to it.  An open-ended portal will spill so much raw magic that it will be blindingly obvious to any pony mage, let alone an alicorn.  Sneaking around after making such a raucous entrance would only cast suspicion upon us.  It would be best if we choose a location that is convenient to our needs but not too threatening.  I’m thinking that the palace gardens would be suitable.”

“How do you know that they’ll even be there?” I argued.  “We encountered some very bizarre worlds back then.”

“Star Swirl and I analyzed all the worlds that we’re currently in contact with to find their commonalities.  To put it in laypony terms, we found a frequency band that has a 91.6% chance of giving us a fairly benign version of our familiar universe.”

“It’s the other 8.4% that I’m worried about.  I insist that we prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”

“You don’t think my abilities to be sufficient to protect us?”  Twilight thought about that for a moment.  “How about we ask my brother to provide extra security for us?  Shiny has the strongest shield of anypony, myself included.”

Thankfully, my friend was intrigued by the idea of exploring new worlds and had agreed to take the lead.  I say ‘thankfully’ because Trixie was not happy about me gallivanting off to an unknown world without her and she wanted to ensure my safety.  Twilight and I had insisted that at least one triarch remain just in case and, since this was our project, my wife had drawn the short straw.  However, with Penumbra by my side and Shining Armor shielding us, Trixie had reluctantly acquiesced.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Twilight said.  Her horn emitted a beam of magic that struck a sapphire on the mirror that was a twin to the one she had given to Shining Armor.  That activated all the arcane gadgetry attached to it and there came a throbbing noise that quickly died away.  “It’s ready,” she told her brother.

The stallion lit up his horn with a shield spell ready to be activated the moment he emerged on the other side.  He then stepped through the mirror’s surface without hesitation.  Twilight glanced over her instruments for several seconds.  After Twilight nodded in assurance that everything was proceeding well, I followed with Penny hot on my heels.

The exit was a bit rough but Twilight had warned us about the turbulence of an unanchored portal.  We stepped out onto the manicured lawns of the Canterlot Castle Gardens and looked around.  The view shimmered slightly as Shining Armor’s shield distorted the air.  He wasn’t using full power but he had the ability to ramp up the shield’s strength in a fraction of a second.  Everything seemed normal and familiar, so we waited for the inevitable reaction to our arrival.

Royal Guards had immediately been attracted to the disturbance – an open portal hanging in the air in a quiet garden was impossible to ignore.  However, the first pegasi on the scene barely beat the purple alicorn that teleported in to join them.  Her alarmed look turned to confusion when she saw Shining.

“BBBFF – what’s going on here?”  Then her eyes shifted to me and widened hugely, her jaw dropping.  “A male alicorn?  Who are you?  Where did you come from?”

“I am Prince Mark Wells.  As for where I’m from, here’s a hint.”  I must be getting the knack for dramatic timing from Trixie.  My Twilight stepped through the portal just then.  I knew she had planned to spend several moments checking the performance of the portal before following us.

“Hello, other me,” my Twilight said with a smile.  “We come in friendship.”

“Oh my!” the other alicorn mare said with a growing grin.  “This is looking to be a lot more interesting than the policy updates that I’ve been preparing this morning.  Would you all care to join me for morning tea?”





We accepted Twilight’s offer although we could not stay for long.  An open-ended portal drew too much power to keep it operational indefinitely.  Over tea and cake, we hit the highlights of our different worlds.  We found out that their Celestia and Luna had retired and left Twilight to reign over Equestria.  Spike served as her Number One Assistant and Advisor.  Many other things were very similar to our world, but the statue of Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow in the garden showed how some events took a very different course.

We agreed to schedule a full-day meeting in a week’s time.  We gave Shining’s sapphire to Princess Twilight so she could set up a proper permanent portal.  In return, the alicorn monarch gave us a small gift that we could use to home in on that dimension’s “frequency” if necessary.  My Twilight had squealed with delight at getting that copy of her counterpart’s Friendship Journal and I was looking forward to reading how our histories had differed from the personal experiences of her other self.





After we returned to our dimension, Twilight shut down the portal with a nod of satisfaction with its performance.  “I’ll let the equipment recharge for today.  May I suggest that we try another destination same time tomorrow?”

That is exactly what we did.





The ponytaurs in that second world found us just as fascinating as we did them.  Frankly, our pegasi were far more aerodynamic and graceful, but I admit to envying their hands.  That one variation had made a big difference in their civilization though.  The ability to finely manipulate objects outside of magic had led to an early industrial revolution.  This had led to much more automation and its unfortunate consequence; pollution.  Thankfully, it was nowhere near as bad as it had been on Earth but whole teams of all kinds of creatures were employed to mitigate the problem.  Comparing the dimension to its technological counterpart, I reckon that the House Path dimension had achieved a better result with their magitek systems.





On the third day, Trixie insisted that it was her turn to accompany Twilight, so I had to remain behind.  When the expedition came back, Twilight had a very odd expression on her face but my wife was grinning hugely.  Twilight teleporting away without another word confirmed my suspicions.

“Okay, what’s so amusing?” I asked.

“We found out that all alicorns in that dimension are hermaphrodites.”

My eyebrows rose.  “I see.  Because I can turn into a mare, I know what it’s like to be the opposite sex, but Twi must have been disconcerted.”

Trixie giggled.  “That isn’t even the best part.  Their Twilight is married to Celestia who got pregnant and gave birth to their foal.”

I found myself grinning along with my wife.  “So, that Twilight is the stallion in their relationship?  Oh, I’m so going to tease ours about that.”

“Way ahead of you, Dowser!” Trixie said with a huge smirk.

I returned the grin.  I could hardly wait for when Celestia paid us a visit between her adventures.





The next world was inhabited by hippogriffs instead of ponies.  There were a few with horns that served the same function as our alicorns.  Also, there didn’t appear to be any ability to change into seaponies.  Their history was a lot different from ours but they still chose to build a city on the side of a mountain and named it Canterlot.  We were gifted a history book that promised to give an insight into how that had come about.  Considering the genesis of their species from how it occurred in our world, I wanted to know if something had happened to ponies and griffons in their past.  Did some disaster occur or was there a more sinister reason?  The book might give us the answers but I was reminded of the saying – ‘History is written by the victors’.  Further relationships with that world could wait until we had some reliable answers.





Rarity was intrigued to hear about the world where ponies cross-dressed.  It had been startling to see noble stallions in flowing dresses while their mares wore suits.  Yes, I took lots of photos for my herdmate.  Their Rarity, dressed in a stunning three-piece outfit made out of silk, had passed me a large stack of designs to give to my herdmate with the understanding that she would reciprocate.  I had a sneaking suspicion that alt-Rarity was perturbed by my distinct lack of finery fit for a prince and this was a not-so-subtle hint to her other self.  In return, my Rarity gifted several books on the fashions of our Equus.  Included was a signed artist proof copy of Fabulous Designs for Everyone by, you guessed it, Rarity Belle.  She also provided a sketchpad that was magically linked to a copy in our herd’s bedroom.  Twice each week, the two fashionistas traded design ideas late into the night.  My Rarity’s exclamations of “Brilliant, Darling!”, “How very interesting!”, and “I never could have imagined!” kept me from falling asleep until their joint inspiration sessions were finished.





There were many minor variants of Equus visited, none of them possessing a Mark Wells so far.  That seemed to indicate that those universes were further from the highest probability ones we had been aiming for.  However, the first alternate reality that affected me more deeply than a casual meeting was one where Princess Celestia had met her future earth pony husband in a most unusual way….

The visit began in a typical fashion with pegasi Royal Guards arriving first and warily taking up positions a few paces from the portal. As soon as they had recognized Shining Armor, they had relaxed a bit, but seeing an alicorn stallion standing next to him had obviously confused them.  Then Chrysalis stepped through to join me and they went right back to being on full alert.  My changeling herdmate had insisted that she had the right to come along on one of these visits.  I had pointed out the strong possibility that she would be unwelcome.  Many dimensions had negative experiences with their Queen Chrysalis, our friend Chryssy notwithstanding.  Not even the addition of Twilight helped the mood.

Normally, by this time, an alicorn would join us at the scene.  Today was different though.  Earth pony Royal Guards galloped up followed by the slightly slower unicorns.  None seemed pleased to see the changeling queen.  One unicorn stepped forward whom I recognized as Spear Point and he addressed Twilight rather than me.

“Princess Twilight – would you care to explain this situation, ma’am?”  His eyes indicated the faintly glowing shield.

“A simple precaution in light of my companions, Lieutenant Spear Point.  This Chrysalis is not any with whom you would be familiar as she is the wife of Prince Mark Wells here.”  Technically, Sally was my herdmate but the changeling queen never suffered anything less than being addressed as my wife.  Frankly, neither did I, legal technicalities aside.  The alicorn continued, “Additionally, I am not the Twilight Sparkle that you know.  That is a portal to another dimension and we come visiting in peaceful exploration.  The shield is a precaution until both parties are assured of a harmonious visit.”

The unicorn gave Chrysalis a hard stare but she merely smirked back.  He turned his attention to me.  “I’ve never heard of a male alicorn before.  How can I be sure that you are not a changeling in disguise?”

“I suppose we could wait for you to fetch a changeling detection spell, but I have a faster method to convince you,” I replied.  “I am the Alicorn of Lightning.  Care for a demonstration of power beyond that of any changeling?”

Spear Point glanced at the currently cloudless sky and said, “Not even the best weather pegasus can conjure lightning without a storm cloud.  How do you intend to prove your boast?”

“So, I have your permission to demonstrate?”

He grunted skeptically and waved a foreleg.  “Be my guest.  However, if you try to harm anypony here, it will not go well for you.”

I was pretty sure that he was bluffing because I was almost certain that his Shining Armor was no less capable with shields as mine and he knew it.  Nevertheless, I played it cautiously.  “Please step back a dozen paces.”  When every pony had complied, I selected my target and unleashed a furious lightning bolt from my storage.  A moment later, all that was left of a tree was a smoldering stump and burning leaves raining from the sky.  I had no sympathy for the plant – the same one in my home dimension gave me a raging case of hay fever when it bloomed and I’d had it removed from the garden.

The thunderclap from the lightning had been deafening to all those ponies confronting us.  Shining’s shield had been tuned to deaden the sound so that none in our party were affected, but there were plenty of Royal Guards rubbing their abused ears.

“Are you satisfied?” I asked Spear Point when he returned his glare to me.

“What?!” he yelled back.

Before I could repeat myself, a new voice came from behind the assembled Guards.  “Enough!  I’m convinced of our visitors’ bona fides.”

A path cleared and a yellow earth pony stallion wearing a royal purple coat and a sunburst medallion around his neck stepped through, accompanied by a pegasus Guard.  As I was in the forefront, he stopped in front of me but turned his head to Shining.  “Please drop your shield, Captain Armor.”

My friend nodded and complied.

The earth stallion faced me again.  “I am Prince Baked Bean and this is my personal guard, Sergeant Clover.  Welcome to our world.  My wife, Princess Celestia, is currently busy with our foal, but I am sure that she will be pleased to meet you.”  He held up a hoof.  I held out mine and we shook hooves.

A fairly ordinary-looking earth pony was Celestia’s husband?  My curiosity was roused and I looked forward to finding out how that had happened.  “I am Prince Mark Wells, Triarch of the Equestrian Empire.  Princess Twilight is my co-ruler along with Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”  The final name caused Prince Bean’s eyebrows to rise sharply.  He obviously knew the local version who, judging by his reaction, was not a princess.

I continued.  “My wife, Chrysalis, is Queen of the Canterlot Hive which is sworn to defend and uphold the throne of the Equestrian Empire.  Prince Shining Armor is the husband of Princess Cadance of the Crystal Principality, and my final companion is my Chief of Security and personal bodyguard, Penumbra.  We hope to open beneficial relationships between our two worlds.”

Prince Bean looked impressed.  “I would never have believed that there were other worlds like ours without meeting you.  I bet you have some interesting tales to tell us.”

I looked at Twilight with a raised eyebrow and she nodded.  It would seem that they might not have had a Starlight Glimmer incident in this universe, or it was yet to occur.  After all, while history was fairly consistent within this band of realities, there was still a bit of variation.  “We would love to share stories with you although we can’t stay long right now.  This portal takes too much power to maintain for an extended time.”

“That’s for the best,” Bean replied.  “Celly is rather preoccupied right now with our son.  However, we would be pleased to meet you under more comfortable circumstances, say tomorrow morning?”

“That would be fine with us.  Do you mind if I bring another with me?”

“Princess Trixie, I assume?  No problem.  I look forward to meeting her.  How do we go about that, by the way?”

I levitated an enchanted sapphire out of my saddlebag and gave him instructions on what to do with it.  “And make sure you put the mirror in a secure room for both our sakes.”  After agreeing on a time for our follow-up meeting, we headed back to our world and closed the portal.  I had a lot of work to get done before our little jaunt tomorrow but the anticipation would keep my mood high.





“Time to get up, Your Royal Splendiferousness.”

Penny.  Nopony else used that word.  I had to admit the mild annoyance helped pull me out of my awakening stupor.  To my surprise, I was alone in our herd’s oversized bed.  As expected, Penumbra was fully armored and ready to start the day.

I could hear Rarity, Trixie, and Chrysalis in the sitting room next to the bedroom.  When I got out of bed and headed that way, my personal bodyguard and third herdmate stopped me with one gigantic wing.

I raised an eyebrow.  “What’s the occasion?”

“You’ll find out when it’s time and no sooner.  Now go freshen up and get ready for your extra-dimensional mini-vacation.”

I rolled my eyes and changed direction for the bathroom.  “Pushy mares.”

I got the wide, fanged smile I was looking for.  “Yep.  And you love every minute of us bossing you around.”

I stopped in my tracks.  “Oh, so this is a test?  Very well, I’ll just slip past you.”  Sure, it was a bluff, but also an invitation for some wrestling to spice up an otherwise boring morning.

The thestral’s smile disappeared.  “No, no.  No need for that.  Just get ready now, please.”  

Interesting.  Penny very much wanted me not to interrupt my other wives.  Enough so to back down from her bluster.  Well, if Penny was afraid of getting in trouble for ruining the surprise, I would doubtless earn the full wrath of all four of my mares.  No reason to spoil the day for everypony involved.  “Yes, my Jedi Master.”

“Hah!  And don’t you forget it, Apprentice!”  Penny followed that with a kiss on my cheek.  In a much softer voice, she said, “Thanks.”





After a quick shower (a boring one on account of Penny not helping scrub my back), I put on my crown with the Changeling Stone and my standard gold vest for visiting other dimensions.  

When I stepped out of my dressing room (more like a modest walk-in closet), I came up short at the sight I beheld.  “Wow!”





Chrysalis held a hoof to her chest and asked, “I take it you approve, my husband?”

Did I ever!  Multicolored textured fabric draped over her barrel and down her sides.  Thin strands of gemstones fell across her neck and legs.  The length of the strands varied to create a layered effect.  Her crown had been widened by extensions holding different gemstones.  “You look positively radiant!”

Rarity let out a “Squeee!” and pulled Trixie into a hug.  

The fashionista’s manic grin got even wider when I said, “You’ve outdone yourself once again, Rarity.  Let me guess.  Inspiration from the cross-dressing universe?”

“Of course, darling!  Our luminous herdmate has already agreed to walk down the runway for the Spring Fashion Show.”

I smirked.  “Oh, so Marklestia won’t be needed this year?”

The unicorn shook her head while her stare bore into my soul.  “Nice try.”

Only when my eyes returned to Chrysalis did I notice one very important detail.  “Holes in your legs?  And mane and tail?”

Sally drew closer and gave me a smoldering look.  “You’ve never complained about my holes before.”  I gaped while the rest of my wives chortled.   

Chrysalis continued.  “My old look was necessary for this fashion to succeed.  I’ll seal them back up after we all get back from our trip to Prince Bean’s dimension.”

If anything, I gaped even more.  “What?!  You already visited there.  I thought it was going to be Twilight, Trixie, Penny, and me.”

“I refuse to let my herdmates, as wonderful as they are, hoard all the fun.”

“But Rarity…”  I remembered my insomnia brought about by the fashionista’s late-night vocal inspiration sessions.  That certainly counted as ‘fun’.  

I said, “… OK.  I concede the point.  And I agree that your appearance should help allay any fears that you are the same mare as that dimension’s Chrysalis.”

Sally said, “True.  Also, no one did anything too rash when I accompanied you yesterday.”

Penumbra patted me on the head.  “Such a smart stallion – agreeing with his mares after they have all made a decision.”

“Indeed,” said the changeling queen with a smile. “If I had known he was this intelligent, I would have let him marry me years earlier.”  

Without waiting for my reply, Chrysalis opened the doors to our suite with her magic and sashayed into the hallway.  I heard the two door guards say “Wow!” as she strode past.

I caught Penumbra’s eye as we trotted to catch up.  I held her gaze until she nodded.  Message received.  There was no guarantee how any Chrysalis might be looked upon in a new dimension and the one that we were visiting had already shown its hostility towards her.  Penny would be extra cautious about the safety of our herdmate.





We transitioned the new portal mirror without incident and I noted that our hosts had chosen the same room in their castle as we had to accommodate it.  Great minds think alike, it seemed.  There was a squad of Royal Guards awaiting our arrival.  Judging by their cautious appraisal of Chrysalis, I figured that they had been forewarned of her presence and they were as much as a precaution as an honor guard.  Sally ignored them as Trixie and I acknowledged the salute of the squad leader.

“Please accompany us, Your Highnesses,” the corporal said.

He might not have laid eyes on Trixie or me before, but even the least of the guards knew what an alicorn represented and he treated us with due deference.  With Trixie by my side and my three herdmates following behind, we were escorted to the Grand Ballroom.

Our arrival caused quite a stir among the gathered nobles but I was focused on the white alicorn mare and yellow earth pony stallion toward which we were headed.  I noted that Sergeant Clover flanked his prince’s side and another Royal Guard stood by Celestia – her personal bodyguard, I presumed.  I was startled to see a unicorn Trixie standing a pace back from the Prince.  Her eyes grew wide as she saw my wife and she dropped the clipboard that she had been holding in her magic.  Prince Bean was looking at my Trixie with intense curiosity and even Celestia had raised an eyebrow.  We stopped in front of them and bowed.

Celestia said, “I am Princess Celestia Bean and this is my husband, Prince Baked Bean.  On behalf of us both, I welcome you to our world.”

Celestia Bean?  Now that was unexpected.  Normally, I would let Trixie take the lead on these occasions.  However, the prince had met me and not my wife, so we had agreed that I would do the honors this time.  “I am Prince Mark Wells and this is my wife, Princess Beatrix Lulamoon.”  I turned halfway around to introduce the others.  “These are my herdmates, Rarity Belle, Captain Penumbra, and Queen Chrysalis of the Canterlot Hive.”

There was a loud muttering at the last but Sally ignored it with dignity.

“A herd?!”  Prince Bean blurted out.  “You have a herd?”

I replied, “I am unaware of the practices in this world, but in mine, the gender imbalance necessitates arrangements to deal with the needs and desires of so many mares without husbands.  The herd arrangement bypasses the restriction of only one legal spouse.  Nevertheless, I regard all my herdmates as my wives.”

Bean sputtered, “But four wives?!”

Chrysalis smiled.  “Of course!  Along with his four wives, my husband has impregnated more mares than I can easily count.”  The discussions and muffled cries of shock from the nobles grew louder.

I rolled my eyes and again addressed the Royal Couple.  “Between the pony social custom of finding your partner at or near your social class and the ratio of mares to stallions, it's only natural in our Equestria.  And Sally, 'one' is not a large number to count, dear.”

“But you certainly tried your hardest with Rainbow Dash, and wasn't there a second Trixie at some point?”  At that, the unicorn Trixie took a step back, picked up her clipboard with her magic, and thrust it between us like a shield.

Penumbra showed her fangs and went in for the kill.  “Just think of the possibilities, Prince Bean.”

A few vaguely negative sounds escaped Bean’s lips.  His eyes darted between my wives, who now nodded while staring levelly at the Prince.

Celestia recovered before her gaping husband.  She hid her smirk and whispered to Prince Bean just loud enough for all of us to hear.  “Won't Luna be glad to know when I tell her the good news.”

Bean’s head whipped around to stare at his wife. “You wouldn't!”

The white alicorn could only hold a straight face for a few seconds, then every mare burst out laughing.  Even their Trixie did so seeing Bean’s facial expression.

The formal aspect of the royal meeting was over, completely smashed to bits.  Bean trotted down the stairs of the dais and moved up next to me.  He asked, “Do you have to put up with this all the time?”

I put a wing over Bean’s withers.  “Welcome to my world, Prince Bean.”

With the ice broken at my expense, as usual, we settled down into informal conversation.  While my Trixie chatted with a very intrigued Celestia, I noticed that the local version of her was hanging on every word.  Knowing her personality, I guessed that she might be looking for clues on how to ascend to alicorn status too and live up to her “Great and Powerful” boast.

Rarity, Chrysalis, and Penumbra banded together to deal with the questions that the noble mares peppered them with.  Not unexpectedly, many of them concerned the presence of the changeling queen but I was sure that Sally could handle them.  If not, Penny was on the job.

Bean and I were left in relative peace.  Sometimes it was good to be a stallion in a mare’s world because the focus almost always shifted to those they perceived as most important – in this case, my wives.  If I hadn’t been an alicorn, I suspect that we would have been left totally alone despite our ranks.  It did give Bean and I a chance to talk candidly and we compared how we had each attained our lofty statuses.  I was flabbergasted by the bizarre law that precipitated his marriage with the most powerful pony in the world.  Touching noses?  Surely Celestia could have thought of something better?  I made a mental note to ask my Celestia how she had coped with power-hungry noble stallions during the early days of her reign.

Bean was boggled in turn when I revealed that I was formerly a human.  Apparently, he was familiar with the species and, after a few questions, I figured out he’d been to Sunset Shimmer’s world.  I wondered if it was the same one that I knew or yet another parallel universe.  Anyway, finding out that we had both been commoners before being thrust onto the throne by different circumstances had given us a sense of camaraderie.

We were sharing a drink and trading recipes when I noticed a disturbance.  A pegasus Royal Guard stallion was stomping angrily in the direction of my herdmates.  His glare seemed focused on Chrysalis in particular, unsurprisingly.  I murmured, “Bean – who’s that?”

He turned to see the pony I was looking at.  He frowned.  “That’s Sergeant Hokey Pokey.  He’s the stallion that our Chrysalis is enamored with.”

“Doesn’t he know that this isn’t his Chrysalis?”

“He was off-duty yesterday and he’s only just come back on, so he might not have heard.”

I started moving towards my herdmates.  “While Sally and Penny can handle the situation, I think we’d better nip this in the bud.”

Pokey had already reached my wife though and he wasn’t holding back.

“What in Celestia’s name are you doing here, Chrysalis?!” he hoarsely whispered.  “You can’t keep crashing their Highnesses’ functions at a whim!  And where in Tartarus did you get that dress?”

Chrysalis was unperturbed and smiled back at the red-faced pegasus.  She walked in a slow circle in front of the stallion to best show herself off.  “Do you like it?  I thought I’d look my best for this special occasion.”  

Pokey grated his teeth before grudgingly admitting, “It looks fantastic.  Nevertheless, you are coming back home with me right now!”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.  “Really?  Not that it wouldn’t amuse me, but I think my husband might object to that.”

“Your what?!”

I spoke up.  “Me.  Her husband.  That is not your Queen Chrysalis, Sergeant.”

Bean hastened to back me up.  “It’s true.  These are visitors from an alternate universe and this changeling queen is married to Prince Wells here.”

I think that the Sergeant might have had difficulty swallowing that explanation if I hadn’t been an alicorn.  It took only a few moments for him to swing from righteous anger to embarrassed humiliation.  He saluted me.  “My apologies, Your Highness.  I meant no offense.”

“Does this mean our date is off, Sergeant?” Chrysalis asked in a sickly sweet tone dripping with disappointment.

“Not now, Sally,” I muttered.  “It was an understandable mistake, Sergeant.  Rest assured that my wife poses no problem to you.”

“Thank you, sir.  I wish I could say the same for my bug queen.”

I suppressed a smirk.  He might have accepted that Sally was legit but he obviously still held a grudge with changeling queens.  I could sympathize.  “I’m curious.  Could you tell us all about your Chrysalis and how you became a couple?”

Boy!  Did that open the floodgates!





Sally and I glided in to land in front of a modest, single-story house on the outskirts of Canterlot.  Nothing about the residence proclaimed it was housing royalty, changeling or otherwise.  I walked up to the door and was about to knock when my wife’s loud throat-clearing made me pause.  I dutifully waited until she had gotten her dress all sorted out for maximum impressiveness, I suppose.

I brought my hoof up again.  “Ready?”

“Always.”  My wife’s green magic aura encased the door and it swung inwards.  Sally lifted her head as she strode past me and inside.

I brought my hoof down to reach into my saddlebags as I mumbled, “Of course. Why bother knocking when going to visit yourself?”

We found Queen Chrysalis at the kitchen table with a stack of magazines to one side and a pile of torn-out pages to the other.  Her chitin was marred with subtle blotches of color.  It reminded me of wood that wouldn’t let go of some hint of its previous paint, even after repeated scrubbings.  She spoke without looking up.  “Almost done editing these dreadful magazines, my Pokey-poo.  So much better without any dreadful alicorns inside.”  She tore another page free with a flourish.  I came up next to my wife and decided to follow her lead at just waiting for our hostess’s reaction.

After “Pokey-poo” didn’t answer, Queen Chrysalis looked up.  The years spent with Sally let me recognize shock, confusion, then anger.  She said, “Dimension travelers!  Get out of my territory, imposter!  And as for your pet alicorn—”

A downward twitch of her head clued me to exactly when to throw my nullstone tracking band.  Before the queen could use her magic or utter another syllable, her horn was neutralized and my wife’s magic aura forced the queen’s head down onto the table.  That’s when I noticed the green field wrapped around the captive’s neck.  That explained the lack of complaining.

As much as Sally liked to drive home a point, Queen Chrysalis would need to breathe sometime.  I said, “Make it quick, dear.”

Queen Chrysalis’s eyes went wide and she scrambled with her hooves to pull away from the table.  Magazines and papers flew everywhere.   Whoops.  Might have phrased that poorly.

Sally expanded her magical grasp to immobilize the Queen’s forehooves and waited for the Queen to meet her gaze.   “Hello.  I don't believe we've been properly introduced.  I am Queen Chrysalis of the Canterlot Hive.  I’ll have you know that I swore an oath to uphold the laws of Equestria in letter and in spirit.”  My wife moved closer and showed her fangs.  “But we aren’t in my Equestria right now, are we?”

This was going on too long.  “Dear, make your final points, please.”  That elicited another round of struggling from the changeling queen.  I reconsidered what I had said.  Oops.  I’m just not very good at this.

It did seem that my wife had heard me.  With a dismissive sniff, she tossed the queen back into her chair while releasing her magical hold.  “Good.  I'm so glad we understand each other.  So let's just set some ground rules, shall we?  You shall not disparage myself or my chosen mate.  At all times, you will act with decorum.  In return, we may choose to inform your Twilight how to remove your nullification band.  I’ll leave the groveling to her for a favor in your capable hooves.”

I sat down across from the changeling queen.  Her breathing slowed as she got oxygen back into her body.  Her stare reminded me of old times.  I pointed with a hoof.  “See that dear?  You used to glare at me like an angry cobra, too.”  I sighed.  “What happened to those happy days when we would flirt with unbridled venom?  Do you think we’ve lost that chemistry… that special feeling between us?”

“Yes.”  My Chrysalis sat next to me in the only remaining empty chair.  We stared at her counterpart across the table.

I said, “You’ve already surmised that we come from the Equestria of a parallel world.  I am Prince Mark Wells.” 

Our hostess’s hoof moved from rubbing her throat to feeling the nullstone band but chose to say nothing.  Fine then.  I’ll talk to my wife.  “Was all of that posturing necessary, dear?”

Sally gave me a quick nuzzle.  “Noling knows me like I know me.  This one has the emotional maturity I had when I was a teenager.  I should know because I stagnated in that state for so many decades.  Trust me, my stallion.  The one thing she respects is power. And now, I have that power.”

Queen Chrysalis continued to glare at us.  After several seconds, she dropped her hoof to the table. “What do you want?” she spat out.

My wife tilted her head and smiled sweetly.  “Oh, I just had to find out about this version of me that was horn-over-hocks in love with a stallion in this world.”  Her magic lifted the changeling queen’s mane until Queen Chrysalis batted her hair free with wildly flailing forehooves.  “I see that expressing your love to someone other than your children hasn’t made you all sparkly.  Most interesting.”

I said, “I suspect the Laws of Magic and Harmony may work a bit differently here.”

My Chrysalis turned to me, “Or she could be defective.”

I bumped her with my shoulder.  “Dear, enough.  You’ve sufficiently established both your dominance and your distaste for this version of yourself.  Now; do you plan to issue a formal challenge for control of her hive?”

My wife looked appraisingly across the table at her counterpart, who once again had the anger drain away from her face.

Sally shook her head.  “No.”

“Then you need to follow your own directive and likewise act with decorum.”

“Yes, husband.”

Queen Chrysalis glanced between us, her brow furrowed.  “You… you let your stallion dictate to you?”

My wife said, “No.  We listen to each other and value what the other has to say.  We reach compromise through common respect.”

“And love?”

My wife stiffened.  Queen Chrysalis saw that reaction and pounced.  “You don’t love him, do you?  He is a convenience and a means to achieve your ends, isn’t he?”

I cocked an eyebrow and looked at Sally.  I thought I knew the answer already but we had not discussed it.  One of the unspoken rules of our relationship was that my wife didn’t talk about her emotions unless she chose to do so.

My Chrysalis sighed.  “I admit that I used a careless promise made by Prince Wells to establish my new life once I left the old one behind.  When I joined his herd, I held respect for him but no affection.”  She paused and shuffled her wings.

“And then?”  I prompted.

“And then we grew closer than I had intended.”  She gripped my hoof in hers.  “His wit, power, and outstanding qualities as a father made me care for him.”

Queen Chrysalis tapped the table impatiently.  “You are avoiding my question.  Do you love him?”

My wife looked at me and smiled.  “I do.”  It may have been a trick of the light, but Sally’s mane seemed to sparkle a bit brighter.  “I admitted the truth to myself when he ate up the last of the now-extinct cavefish in Luna’s grotto inside Canterlot Mountain.”  

Queen Chrysalis said, “Wait.  Princess Luna has a secret grotto?”

My wife’s smile faded and she looked forward, once again all business.  She continued to grip my hoof, however.  “Ummm...  Perhaps I should not have mentioned this.  It may be another aspect that is different between alternate worlds.”

I chuckled.  “No worries.  If you’re wrong, I’m sure this version of Princess Luna will be overjoyed that you just made this common knowledge.”  That earned me a sideways glare.

“Hmmm…” Queen Chrysalis tapped her chin.  “That sounds like a lovely spot for a date with my stallion.  The darker and damper the better.  Even if Luna doesn’t know about it, I should be able to find it by sending drones to map the underground streams.”

My turn to ask a question. “So, Your Majesty.  Do you still plan to conquer Equestria?  Take the entire population captive and breed and pod them as you see fit?  Make your hive supreme over every sapient creature on Equus?”

From her scowl, Queen Chrysalis caught my sarcasm.  “Yes.  It is the destiny of our race.”

My wife said, “And how will your Babboo feel about this?  Do you think he will fall deeply enough in love with you to allow his fellow guardsponies, friends, and family to live the rest of their lives in pods?”

The queen rustled her wings that were decidedly not sparkly.  “I’m working on it.”

Sally leaned forward.  “Why don’t you just green-lock him and order him to love you without reservation?  Why would an empty husk not be sufficient?”

Queen Chrysalis looked away.  We gave her as much time as she needed to craft her answer.

Softly, she said.  “Because of exactly that.  I love the stallion that he is.  Hypnotizing him would break him.”  She raised her voice a bit.  “Don’t think I am unaware of how much damage I did to Shining Armor and Prince Bean.”

Actually, I didn’t know.  Not the time to ask, though.

My wife said, “Then realize the inevitable as I did.  My Equestria is an empire.  Its territory and protectorates span most of the races on Equus.  Even now… even today, that empire gains new allies across even more dimensions.  Against such a force, no changeling hive can stand.  Many years ago, that Equestria invaded my hive and defeated us without the loss of a single life on either side.”  That piece of news got a jump out of the queen.  “That’s right.  My throne was smashed and hive overrun almost without effort.  And still, you cling to the belief that you can win through the might of your indomitable force of will?”

Queen Chrysalis smiled.  “I have my own ways.”

I said, “Ah.  Replace the leaders with drones and rely on ponykind’s tendency to follow the leader of the herd.  Yes, we had to work a bit to counteract that.  Entirely doable.”

The queen frowned at me.  “I also have other ways.  I will not give you any hints so you can blab to the big-white-round-flanked one.”

I leaned back in my chair.  “You mean any more hints.  Thanks, by the way.”

She snarled and started to stand up.  “Don’t patronize me, you …”  The queen slowly sat down.  Her voice was level.  “No.  You will not bait me.”

My Chrysalis said, “I agree that this is one of his worse tendencies.  I’m glad to see I’m not the only me he can play like a fiddle.”

“Oh?  Tell me about his other bad qualities.”

“He is exceptionally stubborn.  Still, the four members of our herd are teaming up with several other mares to teach him a stallion’s proper place in any relationship.”

While I knew Sally was teasing me, this Chrysalis ate it up.  She jumped on the chance to alter the power dynamic of the conversation.  “Is that true, stallion?  Have you not learned yet that despite your lofty title, you hold power only by the whim of females?  Can I assume you are intelligent enough to realize that mares will always run the world?”

I gave a defeated sigh.  “I know better than anyone.  I’ve been living that truth for years.”  I saw all of Queen Chrysalis’s fangs now.

I smirked.  “Only one thing to do.”  I switched to long-maned Marklestia and yelled, “BOO!”

“GAH!”  Queen Chrysalis threw herself backward and tumbled off her chair.

I smiled at my wife.  “You were right, dear.  This was a great idea to visit the other you.  So much fun.”  We shared a long and passionate kiss.  When I looked back at our hostess, her lips were pulled down in disgust but her wings were extended to soak up the freely given love.  I chuckled.  Few things were as amusing to me as a conflicted changeling.

“Sally, we need—”

“Ugh!” The changeling queen stuck out her tongue.  “Sally?!  Is that… is that a nickname?  It’s abhorrent!”

My wife said, “Of course it is.  Still, you have to remember what I said about compromise.  I settle for getting a little act of revenge for every time he calls me that terrible name.”

I blinked.  “What act of revenge?”  My Chrysalis just smiled while the other laughed openly.  “What have you been doing to get even?   For years?”

“Come along, husband.  We mustn’t dally.”  I used an outstretched wing to keep her from heading for the door.

I shifted back to my stallion body, pulling my vest out of the dimensional storage where I had put it when changing forms.  I lowered my voice.  “We’ll talk about that later.  We still have two final matters to attend to.”  I looked back at Queen Chrysalis who was no longer chuckling.  In fact, her ears were pointed backward.  “Tracking bands are on Twilight’s restricted export list.  ‘Pugnacious’.”

At the spoken keyword, the nullstone band uncurled from the queen’s horn and flew back to my hoof.  I stuffed it into my saddlebag.

I continued.  “Also, didn’t Sergeant Hokey-poo express some positive emotions regarding your choice of fashion?”

“Some?” exclaimed my wife.  “I think only professional pride and his annoyance at seeing his ‘marefriend’ at the Castle kept Pokey-Yummy from running his hooves all over me.”

The queen’s eyes grew hard.  “Don’t you dare call him…”  She blinked.  “Wait. Really?”

I said, “That was my impression as well.  Dear, why don’t you leave the outfit for this Chrysalis to try on?  She did behave herself to an extent and we are trying to spread the Magic of Friendship wherever we go.”

The queen practically bounced up and down.  “Oh, yes.  Be my friend and all that nonsense.”

I stared into Queen Chrysalis’s eyes.  “Before you get any clever ideas, I’ll be telling this world’s princesses who is the new owner of the dress.”  I used the Changeling Stone in my crown to give myself a longer set of fangs than even Sally’s.  “You will not be impersonating my wife.”

Our hostess’s horn glowed for a moment then winked out.  My lack of a single shred of fear may have caused her to reassess her actions.   She said, “Understood.”  Or maybe she just really wanted that dress.

I nodded and looked at my wife.  Sally shifted the voids in her legs until they reached the surface and disappeared.  The many thin chains of multi-colored gemstones fell to the floor with a hiss.  Her horn glowed and the dress unwrapped and lifted free.  “Do take good care of it… unless your stallion tears it off your body in passion.  That is also acceptable.”

Queen Chrysalis held out a foreleg and my wife draped the fabric onto it.  The queen said, “I can only hope.”  Her horn lit again and the chains floated to her side.  She smiled.  “You two know your way out.  I need to get ready for a date tonight.” With that, Queen Chrysalis trotted past us with a beaming smile on her face.

I called after her, “It was nice to meet you, too!”  A slamming bedroom door was her answer.

I looked my now naked wife up and down and smirked.  “What do you think?  Is she herdmate material?  Would she make a good fifth wheel, Sally?”

She laughed.  “Already taken.  I thought you had learned not to make light of such things.  Talking about adding to your herd without first consulting with your lead mare?  It seems I was mistaken.”

I smiled.  “What?  No rebuke or fresh threats about calling you Sally?”

My wife chuckled darkly.  “To be honest, my stallion, I’m surprised you haven’t recognized the petty acts of retaliation that… Well, never mind.  I’m sure you’ll find out someday.”

Damn it, not even a hint… if these supposed acts of revenge existed at all.

“Yes, they do exist.  Ask Penumbra if you don’t believe me.  You simply aren’t devious enough to—”

I growled.  “Fine, fine.  Like you said, we can’t be dallying.  Come on, let’s go… Sally!”

As I chivvied my wife out the front door, she laughed freely.  I gave a dark stare to her happily swishing tail.  She had gotten to me and I couldn’t even pretend it to be otherwise.





The treaty that we signed with the rulers in Prince Bean’s world was not the last.  The success of forming alliances with so many new dimensions had filled us with a strong sense of accomplishment.  Therefore, while we would soon need to refocus on work in our home dimension, we decided that we could handle a couple more before putting a hold on our exploration of alternate universes.

The latest one was a peaceful world much like our own.  However, the major players were largely different although still familiar.  One, in particular, had taken a great interest in those differences and had asked me to bear a message to my changeling wife.  I enthusiastically agreed.

Chrysalis was waiting for our return.  I had promised to deal with some hive matters with her when I got back from this meeting and it appeared that she did not intend to waste any time.  That made it very convenient for me to pass on the missive immediately.

I gave my mate a kiss before saying, “We had a lovely talk with the Princess of Love while over there.  She wants to meet you, Sally.”

Chrysalis gave me a puzzled frown.  “Why would another world’s Princess Cadance want to talk with me?  There is nothing wrong with our relationship, husband.”

I grinned.  “I’m afraid you’ve gotten the wrong idea.”  I pulled a photo out of my saddlebag with my magic and passed it to my wife.  “Here’s a picture of her.”

Sally took the photo in her magic and looked at it.  Then her eyes bulged and she gave a strangled cry.  “Ack!  SHARDS, NO!”  She tore the photograph to shreds and then immolated it for good measure.  She turned and stomped away, her nose in the air as if she had caught a whiff of something distasteful.

Shining, Trixie, and I cracked up laughing as I pulled out a second print of the photo.  “I think I’ll put this on display – preferably in a magically reinforced frame.  The Princess of Love deserves it.”   I gazed at the image with a broad grin on my face.  The changeling queen had never looked so adorably cute!




> Unexpected Company
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was enjoying this latest royal visit because of the ponies involved rather than anything political in nature.  In other words, Prince Baked Bean and his wife, Princess Celestia (Bean), were here in our world purely for social reasons.  The Prince had even brought along some culinary treats that he had made himself just like one’s neighbor would pop around to watch a ball game.  I loved the spicy pepper cauliflower dip and Trixie couldn’t stop praising the dark chocolate sunflower seed butter cups. When I asked if I could try one, she let me know that there was a limit to how much she loved me, and that limit was defined by dark chocolate.  I laughed as loud as our guests at that playful jab.  Still, that left me with the spicy stuff which suited me fine.

Interacting with the yellow earth pony was a breath of fresh air after dealing with the stuffy nobility.  However, because both our visitors were true royalty, I was more than ready to use that as a legitimate excuse to take an afternoon off from my duties.  The lords and ladies would never know that Trixie and I were conversing about our foals, favorite foods, and pranks we’d pulled rather than serious matters like trade agreements and mutual defense pacts between our worlds.  Right at the moment, the subject had turned to how each of us had become leaders of our respective nations.

“I can’t believe that you chose this life,” Bean said.  “I fell into it completely by accident.”  He glanced fondly at his wife.  “Best accident ever, but still completely by chance.”

I replied, “Would you believe I once jumped off a castle balcony before I had yet to master flying just to get away from the suggestion that I become a ruler?”

My wife said, “There you go again, Dowser – taking credit for something that was not your idea.  The Great and Helpful Trixie recalls that she dropped you in a sensible attempt to get you past your unreasonable fear of flying.”

I had almost forgotten about that incident.  “I hadn’t had wings for even a day!  And I had no idea we would ever get married, especially with that kind of first impression.”

Trixie smirked.  “Could it be that even then, you made a precipitous attempt to escape your destiny…”

“… or just crazy mares.”  I quipped back.  “Looks like I failed that spectacularly as well.”

She patted me on the withers.  “Don’t feel inadequate.  It is what all your wives have come to expect of our stallion.”

By now, both Bean and his Celestia were crying tears of mirth.  I shot a glare at Captain Penumbra in time to see her toothy grin.  She nodded to Trixie.  Of course.  Why wouldn’t she give lessons in snark to my other wives?

Still, I could at least get the conversation back on track.  “Actually, I was talking about when I jumped off the balcony at the Castle of Friendship.  This was before Trixie and I were an item and she joked… I think… about having Marklestia sit in for the Diarchs.  Not wanting to take any chances, I high-tailed it out of there.”

Bean chuckled.  “Sounds like something I would have done, and I don’t even have wings.  And yet, here you are today, Prince of an empire.”

I reached around Trixie with a wing to cuddle her.  “It just shows what stallions will do for love.  Trixie stole my heart and I would have done anything to make her mine.  Taking responsibility as a Prince of Equestria was the price I was quite willing to pay to be with my soulmate.”

My wife smiled and leaned into me.  “Trixie made sure that her stallion knew what was best for him.”

That was not quite how I remembered it happening but I wasn’t going to argue with the results.

Celestia beamed and emulated my action with Bean.  “I believe that we were both fortunate to gain the husbands that we needed to complete our lives.  And both our worlds have benefitted from the changes those events precipitated.”

I nodded. “Sometimes, it takes a major shake-up to get a country out of its comfortable rut and make advancements. Bean was your catalyst while the disappearance of our Royal Sisters and their subsequent replacement was ours.  I hope that my and Sally’s visit to your Queen Chrysalis was of some help too.”

“That situation is still playing out,” Celestia admitted, “but I have high hopes.”

Trixie said, “You are every bit as optimistic as our Celestia.”

The alabaster mare smirked.  “I have reason to be.  The changeling queen may not want to admit it but she is hopelessly smitten with Hokey Pokey, and he with her.  I would not tolerate her presence in Canterlot or her continued freedom otherwise.”

“Your Chrysalis deserves a chance,” my wife agreed.  “Our herdmate has more than proven herself.”

“What else have you been doing to encourage her to stay on the right path?” I asked Celestia.

Before either could reply, there was a firm knock on the sun room’s door.  At Celestia and Bean’s curious looks, I said, “We left word not to be disturbed unless something important came up. Pardon me for a moment.”

I nodded to Penumbra who opened the door to talk with whoever had knocked.  While their voices were too low and muffled, I did detect a surprised tone.  The batpony then turned around and said, “I think you need to deal with this, Your Highnesses.”

If Penny was reverting to full formality, it had to be important.  “Send them in, Captain Penumbra.”

She stepped back, pulling the door fully open.  Two EUP soldiers, both pegasi, stepped inside the room with another creature between them – a tall biped.  My eyes opened in shock as I recognized the species.  He was a human!  And not one from Sunset’s world either.  He could easily have been my neighbor back when I still lived on Earth.  He was olive-skinned, had black hair, and was perhaps around thirty years of age.  He had a thick growth of stubble and there were several scrapes and bruises visible on his limbs.  His T-shirt and shorts were badly torn and filthy.  He looked around with the bewildered expression of someone who had just been thrust into an insane situation.  The Guards stopped before Trixie and me and saluted.

“Your Highnesses – we found this creature stumbling around the edge of the San Palomino Desert not far from Los Pegasus.  It appears to be dehydrated and disoriented.  It keeps asking what happened to something called Las Vegas.  Because we did not recognize the species, Corporal Slipstream applied the decontamination crystal as per Princess Sparkle’s standard procedure.  We then used a daggerscale portal to bring it here and we were going to have it treated and interrogated.  However, Sergeant Crimson Boulder saw us and told us that you would want to see it immediately.”

I glanced back to the door and noticed my earth pony alternate bodyguard waiting in the doorway.  I met his eyes and inclined my head to indicate that he was to join us.  I turned my attention back and noticed that Trixie was appraising our strange visitor.  She certainly recognized what he was and was probably wondering if he was from my world too.  I spoke to the Guard who had addressed us.  “Find Doctor Bellows and have him come here to evaluate this human.  Then I want extra patrols sent out to check the desert in case there are more of them.  If so, approach them cautiously but do not treat them as hostile unless they are clearly a danger.  Have them brought here too.  Oh, and provide them with water and food.”

“Yes, sir!”  The Guards saluted again and departed.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on!” the man croaked.

I got up and gently steered the man to a lounge chair.  Although I judged him to be of normal human size, he towered over my pony form.  It was similar to when I had first visited Phil’s home without the adaptation spell active and Rosa had been much taller than us.  The chair was therefore a bit too low for him but better than leaving him standing.  “Sit down and make yourself comfortable while we sort this out.”

Bean said, “He looks like he could use a drink.”

“Agreed,” I said, levitating a glass and a jug of lemon squash over to the man.

“What the fuck?!” he said, staring at the objects suspended in the glow of my power.

“It’s magical levitation,” I said.  “Don’t question it for now.  Take these and pour yourself a drink.”

He gingerly grasped them and did so while I examined him in detail.  He drank the lemon squash like someone dying of thirst and I stopped him from pouring another glass.

“Too much too quickly isn’t good for you,” I told him.  “Let your body absorb that first.  Meanwhile, tell us your name.”

“My name is Caleb Awad.  Who and what are you?”

“I am Prince Mark Wells and I am an alicorn, as is my wife, Princess Beatrix Lulamoon.”  I then indicated our visitors.  “These are Princess Celestia and Prince Bean, guests from another world.  Yes, you heard me right.  They aren’t from this dimension and, obviously, you aren’t either.  This world is called Equus and you are now in the Equestrian Empire.”

“But… you’re all horses!”

“Ponies,” I corrected.  “Magical colorful talking ponies.  Some are pegasi like the Royal Guards that brought you in.  Some are unicorns.  Some are batponies or earth ponies like my bodyguards.  But all of them are sapient citizens of this country and just one of the many races that fill this world.  I know that this is all hard to take in quickly, but you have to accept the situation that you’re in while we figure out how you got here.”

“Easy for you to say.  You don’t have what look like animals telling me to be calm.  It’s all a bit too surreal.”

“Believe me – I do understand.  I was once a human too.”

Caleb’s eyebrows shot up.  “You’re shitting me?!”

“Nope. You’re looking at a North Carolina native, believe it or not.”

“What happened to you?”

“An accident with a portal.”

“And that made you a prince?” he asked doubtfully.

I laughed.  “Hell, no! However, that’s a very long story. What we need to know is how you ended up here in Equestria and why you were not transformed like I was.  Then we will have to see if we can get you back home. The Guard mentioned something about Las Vegas – is that where you’re from?”

“No, I was just visiting.  A bunch of my work buddies and I went there for a weekend.  We all got a bit drunk and I stepped outside for some fresh air. Not sure how, but next thing I know, I’m waking up in the desert with civilization nowhere in sight.  I wandered around for a day and cooked in the heat, then froze that night.  Those winged ponies found me the next day.  I thought I was hallucinating.  Still not sure I’m not.”

“You stumbled into a portal in the middle of Sin City?” I asked dubiously.

“Nah. We had rented a place on the outskirts of town to save money for other stuff.  The desert was on our doorstep.  I walked into it for a minute or so to get away from the noise from our guesthouse. The lights of the city still drowned out the night sky though.  And then… they didn’t.”

“You poor creature,” Bean said, getting up from the sofa.  He grabbed the tray of chocolate treats and brought them over.  “You must be starving.  Help yourself to some of these.  We’ll get you a proper meal later.”

“How in blazes are you holding that?” Caleb asked even as he reached for the food. Trixie shuffled on her hooves but didn’t complain as he scarfed down a couple of the chocolate cups.  “Oh, wow!  These are amazing!”  That earned a smile from Prince Bean.  Caleb continued.  “Did you earn your crown in a cooking competition?”

Trixie and Celestia laughed so hard they had to hold onto each other to keep from falling over.  For his part, Prince Bean sighed.  “If only it had been that easy.”

“He’s holding the tray with magic,” I reminded Caleb.  “It’s pretty much everywhere.  Anyway, it sounds like you ran into a random natural portal between our worlds.”

“Does that happen a lot?” he asked between bites.

I recalled some of the stories that Celestia had told me of interdimensional incursions over the centuries and of discoveries made during her adventures with Daring Do. “Not really, and not necessarily to Earth.”

“What about the way you got here?” Caleb asked.

“Magic mirror that was created with a spell,” I informed him.

“Can I get back that way?”

“Maybe. We’ll definitely try that but there’s one problem and it’s a doozy.”

Caleb frowned.  “And what’s that?”

“The world I came from might not be the Earth that you know.”  I waved my hoof towards Celestia and Bean.  “Our guests here are also from Equus, but an entirely different one.  I have personally been to several other Equuses and they all differ from this one – some by a little and others by a lot.  We might get to my Earth and find that there’s already a Caleb Awad there, or that Caleb never existed.  The multiverse is enormous.”

The human slumped in his chair.  “Sounds like I’m screwed unless I can get to that portal again.”

Celestia spoke up.  “I’m afraid that we have more bad news.  Natural portals tend to be temporary, according to our dimension’s research on the subject.  That’s why we affix ours to a permanent object such as a mirror.  The portal that brought you here may or may not still exist.”

Caleb bolted up out of his chair.  “Crap! I gotta go find that portal!”

“Calm down,” I said.  “While what Celestia said is true, natural portals tend to last as long as there’s mana to power them.  Out in the desert, there’s little else using mana so it should stay around for a while. On the other hoof, I admit I don’t know when it opened, but if the other end was in such close proximity to the place you were staying and hadn’t been encountered before, I’d guess that it was fairly new.  Was there some sort of major storm that had recently passed through the area?”

“Yeah. There was a helluva lightning storm while we were in town.  It had cleared away by the time we got home that night though.”

“That sounds plausible as the cause.”  There was a knock at the door and Crimson admitted Doctor Bellows into the room. “First, we get you checked out. Then we get you cleaned up and given a proper meal while we search for the portal.”  I turned to the physician.  “Doc, we have a visitor that has suffered from exposure in a desert, and lack of food and water.  His species is called a human and you’ll find that he’s very similar in many ways to anthroponies, physiologically speaking, so he should be safe to treat.  However, he doesn’t possess any form of magic ability.”

Bellows nodded.  After years dealing with me and the many odd circumstances that I had found myself in, he was inured to the unusual.  “Please remove your clothing so I may examine you properly,” he told Caleb.

The man’s eyes shot wide open.  “What?!”

I chuckled.  “No nudity taboo here, Caleb.  Just take off your shirt if you don’t have anything wrong elsewhere.”

The doctor glared at me but proceeded with the examination when the man removed his tattered T-shirt.  After a thorough check-up, he pronounced that Caleb was dehydrated and sunburnt but otherwise in excellent physical condition.  His dark complexion had obviously helped.  Bellows patched up his scrapes, gave him some salt tablets, and we allowed him another glass of lemon squash.  Doctor Bellows promised to send a salve for his skin before departing.

While the doctor was busy, I had arranged to assign more squads to search the location of the portal.  Given that Caleb had been wandering for so long, the area to be checked was quite extensive and there was a chance that it might be gone anyway.  Nevertheless, it had to be tried for the man’s sake. Trixie had sent a servant to bring a decent meal for our guest and Lace Doily turned up with a hearty vegetable stew. Not unexpectedly, a full stomach quickly made the exhausted man drowsy.  We had two Guards take him to a guest room to get some sleep.  The stallions were instructed to keep watch at the suite’s door and let us know when Caleb woke up or if anything else needed our attention.

With that situation dealt with, we were finally able to turn our attention back to Celestia and Bean.  However, given the circumstances, we decided that it would be best to reschedule our visit for another day.  We all knew that this latest drama wasn’t over yet.





Caleb did not wake up until the following morning and he joined us for breakfast. Fortunately, he had taken advantage of the bathing facilities and a maid had the idea of providing a minotaur robe for him to wear.  While the robe was on the small side for one of the bovine bipeds, it was still quite large for the human.  Considering that the same maid had absconded with Caleb’s torn clothes, the man was grateful to have something to wear.

“We’ll get you some more clothes if necessary,” I promised.

Caleb looked doubtful.  “Ponies make clothes?  For humans?”

“Yes to the first, and to the second as well if you ask the right pony.”  I was sure Rarity could whip up something fabulous for him in no time.  Not my herdmate though – the anthro Rarity.  We still visited there regularly due to our anthro daughter.

“Any word on finding the portal?”

“No luck yet, I’m afraid,” I replied as I poured syrup on my waffles.

“So I might be stuck here if your mirror isn’t the way home?”  Caleb sighed.  “I suppose I should be grateful that I’m still alive and not a pastel pony.  What was it like turning into a green four-legger with wings and horn?”

“For starters, I didn’t have the horn then.  I was only a pegasus when I arrived and I had no idea how to use these wings.  I barely managed to walk.  I crashed a lot but I learned.  Now, I wouldn’t give up being able to fly for anything.  There are worse fates than becoming a pony.”

“So, how did you get the horn?”

“Got a few weeks for me to tell you the whole story?”

“I might,” he replied glumly.  “For now, though, give me the highlights.”

So I did. He scoffed about the effect of poison joke so I demonstrated.  I think that my becoming a female freaked him out more than anything else.  I suppose not everyone is going to be comfortable with the idea of transgender transformations.  I bet he’d be leery of blue flowers from now on.

After breakfast, we headed for the portal mirror to Phil’s home.  It was the obvious first possibility to eliminate. Despite the implication that I would take my human form there, Caleb was still surprised to see both me and Penny standing there on two legs and fully clothed while he just had the robe. Nobody was home but that was not surprising.  Phil and Rosa would be at work right now while Yolanda and Miguel would be in school. Not that it mattered because my family had the run of the place.  I also had a cell phone stashed here if needed.  I turned it on and waited for it to start up.

“Okay – simple first test.  What’s your number?” I asked Caleb when the phone was ready.  He told me and I dialed it and put the phone on speaker so we could both hear.

The phone rang for five seconds before it was answered. “Caleb Awad speaking,” came a very familiar voice.

My Caleb’s face fell as I replied to the man at the other end.  “Oops!  My apologies. Wrong number!”  I ended the call and looked at the distraught man.  “Sorry, my friend.  Wrong universe.”

He nodded glumly.  “Can’t say you didn’t warn me.  What now?”

“While this world is possibly very alike to yours, I don’t recommend that you stay here. I won’t force your choice but you’re alien to this world and you can’t be replacing the other Caleb.  With modern identification systems, you’d be a non-person at best.  We’ll have to move on to plan B.”  I turned off the phone and put it away.  “Let’s go back now.”

Upon returning to the room with the portal mirror, I stopped Caleb from stepping through. “Give me a moment to disable the adaptation spell.  If you step through now, you’ll be transformed into a pony or other sapient species.”  I was certain he would have been pissed off mightily to end up as a pony or other being. Some might enjoy the experience but I had a feeling that would not be appreciated right now.  However, he surprised me.

“If I ended up like you, I’d still become a human if I came back here?” Caleb asked.

“Yes – the adaptation spell is designed to give you the physical form best suited to you in the destination world.  Naturally, that means that you’d revert to human form on this side of the portal.”

“In that case, can I at least see what I could have become?”

I shrugged.  “Can’t hurt if that’s what you truly want.  If it freaks you out, normality is just a couple of steps away.”

“YOLO,” he replied and stepped through before I could ask if he was sure.  I glanced at Penny and she shrugged.  His choice, for better or for worse.  I instructed her to wait and followed Caleb, wondering what he had become.

I discovered an earth pony waiting for me there, incongruously clad in a robe that was far too big for him.  He was struggling to get it off and I used my magic to assist him.  Once free of the encumbrance, he turned to the mirror to use its reflective properties to study himself.  What he saw was a well-muscled stallion with a golden-brown coat and a maroon and purple striped mane.  A glance confirmed  that he did not have a cutie mark.  He nodded approvingly and I reckoned that he made a handsome specimen.

“Feel like staying that way?” I asked.

Caleb chuckled and shook his head.  “Nope. I was kind of hoping I’d get wings so I could try flying.  No such luck. Gotta admit though that I don’t look half bad.  Still, I don’t plan on staying, so I’d rather be human again.”

“Better take this with you then,” I said as I levitated his robe back to him. “The adaptation spell is placed on the departure gate, so let Captain Penumbra know what you want to do.”

“Thanks.” He stepped through the mirror and returned as soon as Penny disabled the adaptation charm.

After my herdmate reset the spell, she joined us in her normal batpony form.

“Man, that felt weird.  I don’t think I could ever get used to that.”  Now human again, Caleb flexed his fingers.  “What’s our next move?”

“We consult with this world’s expert on portals.  Twilight Sparkle should be awake by now.  She’s really not a morning pony,” I explained.





I think Caleb was more impressed by the daggerscale portal that he had taken from the desert where he had been found than by the permanent portal that connected Canterlot Castle with Friendship Castle in Ponyville.  It’s one thing when you step from a natural environment to an artificial one and another when essentially stepping from one room to another.  Even so, they awed him while we had long since taken them for granted.

Sure enough, Twilight was at the breakfast table, eyes still half closed as she drank her coffee. Black, of course.  Honestly, if she didn’t insist on staying up so late reading, she probably would have been far better off, but that’s our book alicorn for you.  She barely raised an eyebrow at the sight of the human accompanying me.
“Morning, Sparkles,” I said cheerfully.  “I’ve got a problem.”

Twilight brightened.  “A Friendship Problem?”

“If you’d prefer to look at it that way, yes.  Caleb appears to have fallen through a wild portal into our world and he wants to rejoin his friends on his Earth.”

“Not the same Earth as yours, I take it?”

“Nope. Already checked that out.”

“And you haven’t found the wild portal yet?”

“We’ve got squads searching for it but no luck so far.”

“How long has he been here?”

“A couple of days but we only knew about him since yesterday afternoon.  He was in fairly bad shape and we had the doctor patch him up and let him rest.  I figured we could tell you this morning and here we are.”

Spike arrived just then with a plate of waffles dripping with syrup.  He placed it in front of Twilight before noticing Caleb. “Hey!  I haven’t seen a human in a while.  Where are you from?” he asked with a smile.

Caleb looked gobsmacked as he stared at Spike.  The dragon had grown considerably since I’d first met him and was now a gangly youth nearly as tall as the human.

“Are… are you a dragon?”

“Sure am. Spike’s the name.  I’m Twilight’s Number One assistant and Ponyville’s Librarian.”

I chuckled.  By the look on Caleb’s face, that sure wasn’t what he had been expecting.  “Seriously?  I didn’t think that’s what a dragon would do.”

Spike put his hands on his hips and fixed the man with a frown.  “What do you think I should be doing?  Menacing ponies and hoarding gold?”

“Umm… well… you see…”

The dragon grinned and laughed.  “Just messing with you.  My family and friends are my treasure, so this is where I belong.”

In the short time this conversation had taken place, Twilight had wolfed down her breakfast.  Wiping her lips with a napkin, she said, “It shouldn’t be a problem setting up a portal tuned to his home universe.  All I need is some inanimate object from there to tune into it.  Seeing as Caleb has only been here a couple of days, that’s well within the usable parameters before it becomes hopelessly contaminated. What can you give me?”

It had slipped my mind that Twilight could do that.  It had been many years since it had been necessary.  “He arrived with only the clothes he had been wearing.”

“Those will do.  It’s obviously not that minotaur robe he’s wearing though.  Where are his clothes?”

“A maid took them away to be decontaminated as per standard protocol. Will that be a problem?”

The purple alicorn looked thoughtful.  “Hmm… no, although it does reduce the window of opportunity.  We’d better get on it straight away.  Let’s go to Canterlot now.”  She got up from her chair and started heading for the door before pausing and looking back to her brother.  “Thanks, Spike.  That was a great breakfast.”

“You’re welcome, Twilight.”

Caleb shook his head.  “I still can’t get over a dragon serving a pony waffles.”

I chuckled.  “My friend, you’ve seen nothing yet.”





“You WHAT?!” Caleb screamed.

Silky Sheets took a nervous step backward.  “Burned them, sir,” she repeated.

“Why would you do that?!” the man wailed.

“They needed to be decontaminated but since they were judged to be irreparable, it was simpler just to burn them.”

I facehoofed.  Completely logical and the worst thing she could have done.  “Thank you, Silky.  You’re dismissed.”

The maid shot me a grateful look and hastily departed.

Caleb turned to me and asked, “Why would anyone burn someone’s clothing? Especially since I don’t have anything else to wear besides this silly robe!”

“Calm down.  You have to realize that clothes are unusual here.  Aside from uniforms, protective wear, and fancy outfits made for special occasions, most ponies simply don’t wear clothes.  Same goes for griffons, hippogriffs, kirin, and other species. There’s no nudity taboo here, remember? It’s usually simpler to buy new items to replace seriously damaged ones.  Silky didn’t know that you would need them for non-wearing purposes.”

The man sank down onto a chair.  “Can’t you just tune the portal to me instead?”

Twilight shook her head.  “No, a living creature won’t do as it’s easily molded by the new dimension and your body has already been too contaminated by Equestrian oxygen and food.”

“Is there any chance that you had something else with you when you passed through the portal and then left it behind?  A cell phone?  A flashlight?” I asked, grasping at straws.

“I… don’t think so.  I just went outside to get some fresh air.  I was pretty drunk at the time still.”

“Then it’s even more imperative that we find that wild portal because we’ve run out of alternatives.  We’ll go personally and have a look around the region where you arrived.  There are already several squads combing the vicinity but, if you recognize any landmarks, it could help us narrow down the search area.”

“Haven’t you got the morning session of Day Court today?” Twilight asked.

“Can you handle it?  I’ll take the afternoon session instead.”

“I have a few audiences scheduled but I’ll see if they can come in early.  Caleb’s needs are more urgent.”

“Thanks, Sparkles.  Come on, Caleb – we’ve got a portal to find.”





Lieutenant Aerial Ace was in charge of the search.  As his name suggested, he was a pegasus as were two-thirds of the EUP squads assigned to this task.  Their keen eyes and ability to cover large areas quickly made them the ideal ponies for the job, although there were a few griffons too.  The ground crews consisted of a mix of earth ponies and unicorns, the latter using their talents to try to detect the magic of the portal. Considering how much mana those holes in the universe leaked, it didn’t bode well for the search if it hadn’t been found yet.  Nevertheless, the ground squads diligently searched the ravines and other places that were awkward for the pegasi to check from the air.

“Any luck, Lieutenant?” I asked.

Aerial Ace saluted.  “No, Your Highness.  No tracks were found because of a sandstorm last night.  The area that the human could possibly have traversed has already been swept at altitude without any sign.  I have ordered the squads to tighten their sweeps but this will take at least four times as long as the initial search.  We are about a third through it so far.”

I grimaced.  “We may be running out of time.  I’ve brought Caleb here to join the search in the hope that he might recognize any landmarks.”

The pegasus nodded.  “That could be useful.  Seeing as an aerial perspective would probably be of no help in his case, I will assign a ground team to him.  Please follow me.”

Caleb and I fell in behind Aerial Ace and he took us to a nearby tent where we found about twenty ponies apparently taking a break.  While it was still fairly early in the day, this was a desert and it heated up fast.  The searchers probably had to cool down and re-hydrate frequently.  I noticed that several of them looking nervously at Caleb. As a prey species, it was an unfortunate trait of ponies that the unfamiliar was often regarded with fear, and that was true of these soldiers as much as civilians.  Familiarity would cure that but we didn’t have time for socializing.

Lieutenant Aerial Ace narrowed his eyes as he scanned the soldiers.  “I need a three-pony squad – one earth, one unicorn, and one pegasus to accompany the human, Caleb.  He will be attempting to retrace his steps.  Any volunteers?”

Smart pony.  The lieutenant knew better than to force a human onto a fearful soldier.  I’d have to keep an eye on him for potential promotion.

A silvery grey-coated earth pony mare with a dark blue mane promptly stepped forward. “I’ll do it, sir.”

“Very good, Sergeant Willow Branch.  You can lead the squad.”

A yellow unicorn stallion named Exact Point was next but no pegasus volunteered. After it became apparent that none of the winged ponies wanted the job, Aerial Ace ‘volunteered’ one.  “Private Hawkeye – you’re up.”

“Yes, sir,” the mare replied after a pause.

“Take a cart with supplies,” Ace ordered the sergeant.  “You have full autonomy and may continue the search as long as needed subject only to my recall.  You have my authority to call upon pegasus scouts to check potential sites.”

Willow saluted.  “Understood, Lieutenant.”  She turned to Caleb.  “Please follow me, sir.”

I spoke up.  “I will be accompanying you for a few hours.  I wish to learn more about our visitor while I have the opportunity.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” the mare replied.  “Please let me know if you think you can be of assistance.”

I nodded. That had to be the most tactful way I had been told to stay out of someone’s way while they got on with business. I liked her a lot already!

Willow Branch was very efficient and she had organized the cart and had us ready to depart within minutes.  Meanwhile, Caleb had been scanning the surroundings, trying to find any familiar landmarks.  The base camp had been set up at the spot where the human had been found, so hopefully, something would strike a chord.

“Any luck?” I asked when he came over to rejoin us.

“I think so.  I seem to recall those twin sandstone peaks.  I think I was using them as a goal, but I was pretty much a wreck by that point.”

“Then we’ll start in the opposite direction,” Willow said.  “Get aboard the cart.”  She proceeded to strap herself into the drawbars.

“Is she going to pull this entire load by herself?” Caleb asked skeptically.

I chuckled and urged the man onto the cart to sit by my side.  “You’re grossly underestimating her.  Earth ponies are very strong.”

Considering how diminutive the mare looked in comparison to the cart and its contents, I couldn’t really blame him for his assessment.  However, any earth pony would be ashamed if they couldn’t handle twice the load comfortably.  There was a reason why earth ponies were the shock troops of the Equestrian army. Once I had ascended to alicorn status, the extra earth pony strength I had acquired necessitated me learning to restrain myself considerably.  So many broken weapons, practice dummies, plates, mane brushes, utensils, and so forth until I had adjusted!

Hawkeye elected to fly alongside as Willow took off.  Penny flew on the other side, her aviator sunglasses firmly in place against the desert glare.  I would have stretched my wings too but, as I had told Aerial Ace, I wanted to chat with Caleb until I had to return to Canterlot for my session of Day Court. There was a limit to what I could get away with despite being a Prince of the Realm.  Responsibility won out eventually.





“So, you do use electricity here?” Caleb asked.

“Yes,” I replied, “although we are still rolling out the infrastructure.  Our two biggest hurdles are environmentally clean methods of power generation and enough expertise in the field to build networks that are efficient and safe.  Why is that important to you?”

“I’m a welder by trade. MIG and TIG welding kind of need it.”

I chuckled.  “Yeah, I can see that.  Actually, you’d come in handy to teach some of our tradesponies modern techniques.”

“Not that I plan on hanging around, but where would you get the welding machines?”

“From Phil’s Earth that you visited briefly.  We’re doing some contract work for his company with our revolutionary ‘special technology’.”

“Magic, you mean,” Caleb said with a smirk.

“Of course, but that’s a closely guarded secret.  Anyway, the money we earn from those contracts allows us to buy equipment that we can’t produce here yet.”

“Sounds good.  What about the expertise problem?”

“We’re exploring the possibility of recruiting some humans, but our first choice is finding the technology in an alternate Equestria.  That’s one of the reasons why we’ve been using our portal generator to explore the parallel worlds.  So far, though, we haven’t found any Equestria that has a better knowledge of electricity and electronics although some worlds have some superior magitek. It’s our expertise with portals that has enabled us to bring advances to our world that might have taken decades or centuries to otherwise come about.  And it’s also your one real hope of getting home.”

Caleb’s face fell.  “Tell me straight – do you think we’re going to find the portal?”

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.  “My friend, if it’s there, we’ll find it.  But considering that it has eluded us thus far is not a promising indication.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Willow Branch brought us to a halt just then.  Despite pulling us around for over two hours, the only sign of strain on the pony was some sweat staining her coat.  Caleb had become a believer in her durability long before then.

“We’ve reached the gully that Hawkeye spotted,” she declared as she unstrapped herself.

“It doesn’t ring a bell with me,” Caleb said.

“Nevertheless, we’ll check it out and eliminate that possibility,” I said.  “Let me levitate you down.”  Just as I had done at various other places, I used my magic to move the human to a position where he could walk safely.  Exact Point was able to levitate himself to the bottom of the depression before using a spell to scan for a portal signature. Willow declined help but she really didn’t need it anyway.  She was quite adept at reshaping rock to give her secure footing – a process that Caleb found endlessly fascinating.  It certainly helped keep his mind off his predicament!

The site was yet another bust.  When we returned to the top, Penny pointed out that it was time for me to head back.

“Caleb, I have to attend Day Court.  You’re welcome to continue the search.  If you don’t find the portal, I’d like if you would join my family for dinner.”

“Maybe I should stay out here and camp overnight if we don’t find anything this afternoon.  That way, we can get off to an early start.”

Willow Branch spoke up.  “That’s not necessary, sir.  We have daggerscales to take us back to base and we would leave one where we finished so that we could resume the search first thing in the morning.”

“That’s right,” I said.  “So, unless you find the portal, I’ll see you again tonight.  I hope to miss the opportunity to chat more though.”  I spread my wings to take off but paused.  “If you do get to Las Vegas, try chucking something back through the portal that we can tune into with one of ours.”

“I’ll do that,” the man promised.

I nodded and took off, Penny by my side as always.  Yeah, I could have taken a daggerscale portal back but I really needed the exercise.  Besides, I had seen the warning glance when Penny lowered her glasses to stare into my eyes.  My bodyguard refused to let my fitness deteriorate.  Such a nag sometimes!  Glad to have her as my herdmate though.  I stole a kiss and she slapped me with her wing.  Worth it.


# # #


I finished a perfectly routine session of Day Court and Chrysalis and I headed to the living room where our family members would gather to chat about our day before dinner.  Before we got there, we were met by Willow Branch and a very despondent Caleb.  I instantly knew what had happened but I needed to make it official.

“Report, Sergeant!”

The mare saluted me.  “Your Highness, we found the site of the wild portal.  It has already closed.”





 


TO BE CONTINUED


in the new spin-off story:


“BEGINNING ANEW”

> Luna Loop
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I admit it – I got a little careless.  Our recent successes with finding allies and friends in alternate universes led us to get complacent.  I let the others persuade me to be a little more lax in our approach to new worlds and rather than wait for Shining Armor to get more free time to join us as our primary precautionary defense, I decided that we could handle the initial meetings with just our own resources and proceed sooner.  Yeah, I could make a decent shield – alicorn power is nothing to sneeze at even if it’s not my specialty.  And, of course, Twilight is better than me.  However, shields were Shining’s forte and he outclassed both of us. Our overconfidence nearly got us killed.

It started as each foray always did.  Twilight adjusted the “tuning” of her dimensional portal maker, opened the new gateway, and our team stepped through.  My co-ruler would follow as soon as she completed her usual analysis, provided we had not emerged into an incompatible environment and had to retreat.  Whenever I was part of the contact team, Penny always accompanied me in her role as my bodyguard.  My son, Gallus, insisted that we needed additional protection, so he was next to come through, dressed in his Royal Guard armor.

The scene was familiar – lush garden beds and shady trees separated by manicured lawns.  However, I quickly noticed a significant difference in this version of Canterlot Castle’s Royal Garden – the heavily fortified walls surrounding it.  And just as fast, we were spotted by the soldiers there. Pegasi immediately launched themselves in our direction even as a siren summoned more guards.  I had put up my shield the instant that I had stepped through the portal, so it easily stopped the enchanted arrows that came hurtling towards us moments later.

“What the buck?!” exclaimed Gallus even as he drew his magically enhanced sword.  “Who attacks without even giving a chance to surrender peacefully?”

Good question.  We’d been met with caution and suspicion before, but this was ridiculously hostile. I raised my voice.  “Don’t shoot!  We come in peace!”

The pegasi stopped firing, but I thought it was because they saw that their arrows weren’t working and not because of my words.  That guess was confirmed when a squad of unicorns arrived and started hurling assault spells at us.  My shield was taking a battering and it was a significant strain on me.  I tried again to de-escalate the situation.

“We surrender!  We wish to parley!”

I might as well have been shouting at a wall.  The attacks continued unabated.  Just then, Twilight emerged from the portal and she looked about in confusion.

“What’s happening?” the alicorn mare asked.

“Big problem, Sparkles.  Better go back,” I replied.

“I can reinforce your shield,” she rebutted.

I dithered.  Between us, I reckoned that we could withstand this assault indefinitely. Then I saw something that made my heart freeze.  “Twilight – go back now!  Gallus – don’t let her dawdle!”

The lavender alicorn protested, but Gallus’ military training kicked in and he swept her up in his forelegs and dived through the portal.  I felt Penumbra grab me in one of her wings and begin to drag me back too.  She had spotted what I had – Celestia was coming.  Her mane was a solar flame and her horn was lit with the brightness of the sun.  I had seen Daybreaker once before and this wasn’t her, wrong eye color.  That didn’t make this angry solar alicorn any less scary – I knew for sure that she wasn’t intending to have a chat.  I strengthened my shield to its maximum even as Penny backed us away through the dimensional gateway.  Just as we stumbled through it and fell onto the marble floor, I felt my shield shatter from an irresistible blow.  There was a flare of heat that was cut off abruptly as Twilight shut down the portal.  My head throbbed with the pain of my disrupted magic and my flank felt singed.  

“Are you alright, Dad?” Gallus asked.

“Nothing that a quick healing spell can’t fix.  How about you, Penny?”

“I’m going to need a bit more than that,” she hissed through clenched teeth.

I got back onto my hooves and turned to have a good look at my herdmate.  She was gingerly holding out the wing with which she had grabbed me.  A large swath of it was an angry red from severe burns. I winced in sympathy.

Twilight said, “I’ll go grab one of my healing potions!”  She disappeared with the usual flash of teleportation.

“Look at this,” Gallus said.

I turned my attention to whatever my griffon son wanted us to see and gulped.  The wall opposite to the portal was scorched and some of the marble was even melted. That could have been us!

“From now on, no trips without Shining Armor!” Penny grated out with a scowl directed at me.

“No argument, dear.”





Penny recovered with no lasting ill effects.  Shining thoroughly chewed me out for my carelessness. I just shut up and took it like a stallion.  I think his sister copped even worse.  He was absolutely right, of course.  Our explorations were never going to be one hundred percent safe, so there was no excuse for slackening the safety precautions.  Even if we never encountered anything like that again, I would always be mindful that the next time might be the last.  And it wasn’t as if I just had myself to think about either.  Since I was always accompanied by family members, even if I survived, I could lose one or more of them.  In the future, Shining Armor insisted that all initial ventures into new dimensions would be carried out with him being responsible for everypony’s safety.  I agreed wholeheartedly.  We worked out new protocols for all our subsequent expeditions to mitigate the risks.

Remarkably, despite that disastrous trip, enthusiasm for further exploration was scarcely dimmed.  The benefits that we were seeking from Equestrias with useful technologies or magical techniques were too important to the future that we had envisaged for our world.  And making new friends was never a bad thing either.





The next world we visited was as friendly as they come. Its history was also very similar to ours up until the point where our Royal Sisters had left.  Theirs never had that moment, nor was there a Mark Wells. However, there was one major difference from every other Equestria we had been to – all births here were fraternal twins, and they were always a colt and a filly.  As a consequence, this world did not have the gender imbalance that others coped with, resulting in a different social dynamic.  It delighted Sparkles that the Twilight and Shining of this dimension were fraternal twins.  She was not as thrilled when she found out that Celestia and Luna were also twins.  Guess which one was the stallion!





Much is said about alicorn immortality.  Experience has shown that we’re far from being actually immortal. Personally, I’m pretty sure that we just age very, very slowly.  One dimension did a lot to support that supposition.  It appeared that when a pony ascended to alicorn status in that world, their age virtually froze at that moment.  Celestia was seventeen upon ascension and, eleven centuries later, she still looked it, pink mane and all.  Luna was sixteen and I was taller than her!  Cadance was a mere fourteen when she gained her horn which must have made things interesting when she got the hots for Shining Armor later. Twilight was twenty though.  Lucky mare.





“Something’s wrong,” Shining Armor said with a strained grunt.

This latest version of Equestria looked unremarkable but I could sense that something felt off.  My wife nudged me and pointed at the sky.

“Trixie thinks their weather control service is slacking on the job.”

I looked up and frowned.  When you have virtually total control over the local weather, you don’t do things by halves.  Normally, every Canterlot we visited enjoyed clear blue skies with maybe a few scattered fluffy white clouds for the benefit of pegasi.  If rain was scheduled, it was usually overnight so as not to inconvenience the majority of the citizens.  Also, when the weather service did bring in rain clouds, they were carefully calibrated to deliver precise showers.  I was not seeing that now.  Angry and tumultuous storm clouds were rolling in with no sign of pegasi trying to tame them.

“We might have to shield against a downpour,” I said.

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to shield against anything soon,” Shining replied.  “My magic is depleting rapidly.”

It suddenly clicked as to what felt wrong – I could hardly feel any background magic at all.  The stallion must be drawing almost entirely on his internal reserves.  Using my affinity for unicorn magic, I could see only one dim ley line in the sky.  The ground likewise barely responded when I tried to draw magic.

“Let us take over the shield,” I said.  “Trixie and I have huge reserves of power.”

“What if you need that for other reasons?” he queried.

“We’ll retreat if it comes to that.  If low magic is the only problem here, we should be able to cope. Keep your reserves in case we require them.”

He nodded and let go of his shield as soon as I threw up one of my own.  We would soon find out if we needed it because Royal Guards were approaching. The pegasi were flying much slower than any I had seen before and the unicorns and earth ponies were not far behind because of that.  The winged ponies did not hover when they reached us as they normally did in other dimensions.  Instead, they landed – I guessed that they were conserving their magic.  They held up their weapons warily until the rest arrived and followed suit.

“We are peaceful visitors,” Trixie declared to the unicorn who seemed to be in charge.  I did not recognize him at all.  Another difference.  I realized that the Royal Guard anonymizing spell common across many realms was not being used here.

“Thank you, ma’am, but please remain where you are until you are cleared,” he replied.

We did not have to wait for long.  An alicorn soon joined the group, but it wasn’t Celestia.

“What’s this?” she said with a puzzled frown.  “Two alicorns whom I’ve never seen before and one of them is a stallion?  Who are you and where do you come from?  And what is that swirling mass of wild magic behind you?”

This Luna spoke without the slightest trace of the Old Equish accent that every other Luna I’d met possessed.  Either she’d had better speech lessons or she had never been banished to the moon for a millennium.

Trixie replied, “That is an interdimensional portal and we are visitors from an alternate reality.  An Equestria where I, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, and my husband, Prince Mark Wells, rule our version of Equestria in a Triarchy with our colleague. We come as explorers seeking knowledge and friendship.”

Luna smiled.  “In that case, Your Highnesses, may I suggest that we go inside before we all get soaked and have a chat?”

It might seem a bit anticlimactic but that was as dramatic as things got.  We had a perfectly nice conversation with Luna, although we never did see her sister as she was holding Court at that time.  We did learn that this world had a weak mana field and magic was very limited. Pegasi could fly but they could neither cloud-walk nor control weather, which explained the nasty storm outside. Unicorns could make their horns glow and levitate objects but that was the limit of their abilities.  Earth ponies were still strong but had no ability to influence plant growth.  Alicorns were the odd ponies out here.  Unlike every other creature, they produced more magic than they normally consumed. Ponies in their presence were empowered beyond their normal abilities.  As a mana source, I guessed that they could be more powerful than the alicorns I knew back home.

History had treated Luna more kindly here.  There had never been a falling out with Celestia, and she and her sister had ruled together since they had become princesses.  That explained why the Alicorn of the Moon was as conversant with modern language as any other pony.  The biggest hit of that trip turned out to be Penumbra.  The thestral race never existed in this world and my herdmate got the full ‘exotic foreign beauty’ treatment from most every stallion we met.

Our Triarchy and their Royal Sisters agreed to further meetings, but it looked like their world was more likely to benefit from us rather than the other way around.  In the end, it was an interesting visit if not a particularly profitable one.





I might have given the impression that we did these trips frequently. In fact, we had to confine ourselves to no more than one per week due to our and Shining’s other obligations. That also necessitated a roster system for who comprised the contact team.  While exploring other dimensions was chiefly my and Twilight’s baby, I only went on about two thirds of the visits.  By necessity, Twilight attended them all, but every other slot was up for change.  Penny, of course, refused to let me go without her.  Chrysalis would come occasionally although that proved problematic sometimes.  Our daughter, Diadem, still wanted to go despite that and she elicited a surprisingly better reception.  Gallus also came with us a couple more times before his siblings started begging to go too because their foster brother had gotten to do so.  Somehow, these serious ventures started turning into family outings. However, I had learned my lesson well and if one of our children was allowed to come along, it was only in the presence of someone dedicated to looking out for their welfare.  Besides a parent, I mean.

By now, we had built up a cadre of bodyguards for our herd. While many had been recruited from the Royal Guard, several were among the earliest changelings the Canterlot Hive had hatched.  Changelings matured sooner and had the advantage of being able to absorb knowledge through their hive links.  However, as the new hive’s sole information repository was Chrysalis herself, the first changelings who chose to go into protective services had to be given additional training in Equestrian methods and discipline.  And yes, they genuinely did get to choose.  That was something that I insisted upon for the new hive. While Chrysalis was the ultimate authority within the hive, she did concede to the demands of her senior herdmates as she had sworn to do upon joining Trixie’s herd.  Okay, not without some spirited arguments, but I’d rather that than blind obedience anytime.  It saved me from making stupid mistakes in my efforts to blend changeling and pony societies. Anyway, the changeling bodyguards had versatility on their side and it took a load off our minds when we brought along one of our kids.

While I made a point of mentioning the more interesting encounters we had, many of them were very similar in history to ours up until the departure of Celestia and Luna which became a non-event.  In fact, the subsequent arrival of a Mark Wells almost never happened within the band of dimensions that we were exploring.  The one time it did though, he was Prince Consort to both Celestia and Luna.  I must admit that I found the Alicorn of the Sun the more desirable of the Royal Sisters and I don’t blame him for choosing Celestia over the Trixie he had not met. However, that Mark was demonstrably as fond of the Lunar Alicorn, if their foals were any indication.

Frankly, it made me re-think some of the times our Celestia had spent in my company.  Although she seemed to be enjoying her retirement and the freedom it gave her, I suspected there were some aspects of her life that were still unfulfilled. While I know she had some sort of relationship with Daring Do, I recalled Celestia’s kiss that singed Phil’s mane.  That told me she was bisexual, so a stallion and foals weren’t off her agenda.  An alicorn has plenty of time to get around to those things though, and if the object of her desire was also nigh immortal, that sure left matters open for a future relationship with her.  I’d long since come to the same conclusion that most of the mares in life insisted was true – any mare who got involved with me in some way inevitably wanted to mate with me.  I had denied that for years, pointing out some who hadn’t.  Trixie then shocked me by informing me of the number of times she had been approached in her capacity as lead mare with a petition to join the herd.  Not only had she dismissed the entreaties, she hadn’t even bothered telling me about them. As far as Trixie was concerned, if I didn’t already know the mares’ intentions, then they didn’t bear mentioning. As a male alicorn, I suppose I had to be the ultimate catch for a mare, which made me a logical target for those who were unmated.  It still stunned me when I learned that Lyra Heartstrings had been one of them.

Anyway, aside from the perturbations that the arrival of one of my doppelgangers caused to that dimension, we were finding that these Equestrias were frequently little different from our own and we were on the cusp of deciding to broaden our possibilities to one of the lower-probability bands.  Then we encountered one of the strangest alternate worlds, and this time it wasn’t “my” fault…





The visit started similar to most of the others – I was there along with Gemini and their changeling bodyguard, Helix.  Shining had brought along Crystal Shield, the pegacorn alter-ego of his changeling hybrid son, Shiny Button.  Crystal and Gemini had been spending a lot more time together and wanted to come along on this trip, so while Twilight waited for us to give her the all-clear, the five of us watched for whoever’s attention we had attracted.

As was normal, several Royal Guards were the first to respond, but we had barely started to introduce ourselves when Luna teleported in front of the guards.

“Something different!  Thank Harmony!  At long last, something has changed!”

Blinking in surprise and confusion, I said, “I beg your pardon, Your Highness, but I don’t understand—”

The Alicorn of the Moon reared up and spread herself against Shining Armor's shield.  I could see that there was a hint of madness in her eyes.

“For the first time in years, something has changed!  Please tell me that you are not a delusion conjured by my tortured soul.”

“I assure you that we are quite real.  We are travelers from an alternate world.  We visit other dimensions in search of allies and new technologies.”

Luna looked at the swirling portal behind us.  “A gateway to another world?”  She looked back at me, wide-eyed and breathing heavily.  Abruptly, Luna turned and galloped into the shade cast by a nearby copse of trees, only to reappear from my own shadow.  She moved to within an inch of my muzzle, placing a hoof on my shoulder.  “Take me back with you!”  Penny took a step forward but caught herself.  The guards pointed their weapons and moved forward, obviously displeased at being separated from their sovereign.  A pointed stare and a frown from Luna stopped them.

I frowned.  “We can’t just bring someone back with us on a whim.  Why do you wish to do that?”

The midnight blue alicorn sank to her haunches with a groan. “Thou art looking at the most foolish of mares.  I attempted the forbidden and have suffered the consequences for many years.”

I looked about us and, aside from the confused looks on the faces of the Royal Guards, the scene was stereotypically normal.  I looked over to Shining Armor who just shrugged helplessly. Turning back to Luna who seemed to be calming down a little, I asked, “Are we in any danger right now?”

Luna shook her head.  “Nay.  I can tell thee with utter certainty that, aside from the novelty of your arrival, I know with absolute clarity every detail of every event within Canterlot today, and much of what will happen elsewhere.”  She raised a weary hoof towards the Royal Guards.  “You are all dismissed.  I shall parley with our visitors.”

While a few of the Guards looked uncertain, they nevertheless obeyed and left us in Luna’s company.  I said to Shining, “I think your shield won’t be needed.  Let your sister know that it’s safe.”

He nodded and disappeared through the portal even as Luna watched.  With nothing to stop her, I reckon she was barely restraining herself from following.  Then her eyes bulged as Twilight stepped through with her brother.

“Twilight Sparkle!  Thou…” She blinked and stared.  “Thou art an alicorn?  Perhaps thou can succeed where all others have failed!”

Twilight looked understandably puzzled.  “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out, Sparkles.”  I turned back to Luna.  “Okay – from the top!  What has happened that has you in such desperate need?”

The lunar alicorn sighed.  “I suppose thou wilt not allow me passage until I explain myself.  The beginning of my tale starts with the occasion when I visited Ponyville for Nightmare Night and Twilight Sparkle spent so much time and effort showing me how I could fit in once more with the citizens of Equestria.  Heartened by this and the citizens’ new love of the night, I sought many ways to dispel my association with Nightmare Moon so that I could stand by my sister’s side, once more, to rule our kingdom.  Then I learned of Twilight Sparkle’s attempt to warn her past self of a great peril by use of a time-travel spell and that was when I made my great mistake.”

I raised a querying eyebrow at Twilight.

“It was before you arrived in Equestria, Mark,” the lavender alicorn explained.  “My future self suddenly appeared in my home and warned me that a great disaster was going to happen soon, but I was too excited by that event and interrupted her before I learned what it was and she was drawn back to her time.  So I spent every stressful moment sending ponies out to check for every possible problem.  When the event failed to occur, I figured that we had successfully prevented the disaster but I would still need to go back and warn myself so that it would not happen.  I forgot that my past self didn’t give me a chance to explain fully though and that left her stressed out like I had been.”

I said, “But you can’t change the past – you can only cause it to branch into an alternate history.”

“Well, I know that now,” she replied.  “That’s why the time-travel only lasted for seconds.  As soon as I did something to make a change, it caused a branch and I was forced to go back to the future of the original timeline.  I didn’t talk to Luna about that incident though.”

“Nay, I learned of the event from my sister.”

“So, I’m guessing that you tried to change your past?” I asked Luna.

She cast her eyes aside, guilt written on her face. “Aye.  I thought if I could persuade my past self and my sister to resolve their problems, I would not have succumbed to the temptations of the Nightmare. So, I studied the spell and sought to alter it to achieve my aims. Instead, I cast myself into a purgatory that made my banishment to the moon pale by comparison.”

Everything still seemed perfectly normal to me. Perplexed, I said, “I fail to perceive the problem.  What are we not seeing?”

“I am stuck in an unending loop.  Every day has been the same as the previous for decades!  No matter how I try to change events, once I succumb to sleep, I wake up to a world reset to the moment that I cast that cursed spell.”

“Groundhog Day,” I murmured to myself.

“Pardon?” Luna said with a puzzled tilt to her head.

“Never mind.  Sparkles – you’ve studied this kind of magic more than anyone else.  Any ideas?”

The alicorn shook her head.  “I’ll have to examine Luna’s modifications before I have any idea how this situation was caused.  Considering that it has done nothing like what it was supposed to do, I suspect that there are major flaws in its design.”

Luna groaned.  “ ’Tis ironic.  My woes started when my sister ignored my needs, but my current problems stem from me ignoring my sister’s warnings.  She has ever been better than I at the arts arcane but I believed her not when she told me that what I wished to accomplish was beyond anypony’s grasp.  I have talked to her about this many times since but nothing has been achieved in the precious few hours before time reverts once more.  I cannot even save notes on what small progress she makes because they only exist in my memory when I awaken.”

“What happens if you try to stay awake during the moment that time resets?” Gemini asked.

Luna gave them a tired smile.  “I know not, youngling.  The original spell only sent the caster back twenty-four hours.  In my attempt to increase that to no less than a millennium, I poured all my power into the cantrip. Despite my modifications to the spell, I awaken at the same time on the previous day. I arise exhausted each morning and fall asleep later despite all attempts not to.”

Twilight said, “That could be an effect of the original spell’s limitations.  You fall asleep because you had fallen asleep in the first iteration of the loop.”

“What if Luna comes to our universe instead?” Gemini queried. “Would that break the cycle?”

“It’s quite possible,” Twilight confirmed, “but I will not allow her to cross into our Equestria before I am certain that we won’t suffer any consequences as a result.”

Luna nodded.  “Thou art wise.  Fear not – I will not force the issue.  Right now, I am enjoying the first novel conversation in far too many years and I have hope where none has existed for even longer.”

Shining Armor spoke up.  “How long before the reset?  Are we in any danger of being caught up in it?”

I should have thought to ask that.  Good thing my friend was on the ball.

“There is still a good fourteen hours before that happens.  More exact, I cannot say as I have already explained.”

I said, “Then we can spare a couple of hours before we’re forced to shut down the portal.  Normally, we would leave you the means of setting up a permanent portal between our worlds, but I suspect it would disappear with the reset.  That means we’ll have to re-open this temporary portal tomorrow.  Will you remember us then?”

“I remember every moment of every day of every year that I have spent in this Tartarus.”

“Uh… right.  Sparkles – looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.  I don’t think I can be of much help here, so maybe I’ll have a chat with Celestia while you’re doing that.  Speaking of Sunbutt, how come she hasn’t turned up?”

Luna looked faintly shocked at my use of the nickname but she let it pass.  “My sister is in Ponyville.  I chose to cast the spell on a day when she would not be here to stop me.  That is where you will find her every day at this time.”

While I could fly there and back easily enough, I did not really want to waste the time doing so.  “Perhaps I’ll have a look around here instead.  Maybe I’ll find something of interest.  Shining – I guess you’ll be staying with Twilight?”

“Of course,” he confirmed.

“Can I stay and talk with Auntie Luna, Dad?” Crystal Shield asked.

Luna’s eyebrows rose.  “Auntie?”

“Honorary,” clarified Shining.  “You might enjoy chatting with my son – he’s quite… empathetic.”

Well, that was certainly true of a changeling.  I wondered if Luna knew of them yet.  Not that Crystal would reveal that he was one. He hadn’t assumed his natural form for many years.  If it wasn’t for his need to feed on love, he would be indistinguishable from a natural pony.

“I’d like to stay with Crys, if I may?” Gemini asked.

Like I could keep them apart!  “Sure, Gem.  As long as you two don’t get in Auntie Twilight’s way.”

The night alicorn spread her wings with a warm smile. Crystal Shield and Gemini quickly moved to her sides and were soon draped with dark blue feathers.  “I would fain converse with you,” Luna said, “but first I must apprise Twilight Sparkle of the spell that I wrought.  Then while she is busy, mayhap thou canst inform me as to how she came to ascend.”





Luna assigned two Royal Guards to accompany me.  I may be an alicorn but I wasn’t a prince of this Equestria, so they helped smooth the way while I looked around.  I did attract the attention of several nobles and not a few civilians and I threw out a lot of bullshit answers to their questions, confident that everything I said would be forgotten soon.  Both the Guards shot me curious looks but I gave them a wink. One of them chuckled at least.   I think it was at my declaration that the noble was looking at Celestia’s secret love child!

I didn’t discover anything of particular interest.  In fact, due to Luna’s interference, this dimension appeared to be a couple of decades behind in many areas.  It looked like we were going to have to chalk this venture up to good will once more.  I joined the others again when the portal was down to half an hour’s worth of life and reminded Twilight that it was time to go back.  We had a strict protocol of giving ourselves a safety margin and this was one scenario where I definitely did not want to get stuck. While Twilight had trained others in the operation of the portal, because of the time loop, there was no guarantee that we would be here after the reset.

We made our farewells to Luna who insisted on sharing a parting hug with each of us.  Twilight declined, insisting that she needed to stay entirely uncontaminated by the spell’s magic.  Only when I saw Luna’s fleeting hurt expression did I appreciate how crushingly lonely the mare’s existence had been for decades.  However, while she still looked tired, it was clear that her morale had greatly improved.  Hopefully, we would have an answer for her the next day.





“Well?” I asked Twilight as we met up in the morning.

“Luna’s spell is a tangled mess, but for that same reason, it does not have co-dependent cantrips to energize and stabilize it,” she explained.

“In plain Equish, please.”

She smirked at me.  “I mean, while it almost certainly can’t be undone, we can simply break it. The reason why Luna is always exhausted is that the spell is constantly drawing on her power.  Take away the power source—”

“And the spell collapses,” I finished her sentence.

“Exactly.”

“So, why did the spell create a loop?”

Twilight rolled her eyes.  “Because she tried to do the impossible.  First of all, she wanted to change history and we both know that just creates a new branch.  Secondly, she tried to make a spell designed for a twenty-four-hour leap go back over a thousand years.  Instead she created an error loop that would repeat on the original timeline for the same number of years.”

I shuddered, thinking of having to re-live the same day for over a millennium.  Even my wedding day, as joyful and exciting as it was, would become drudgery no later than the thousandth iteration.  “Okay, so what do you intend to do?”

“Bring Luna here and close the portal.  That will snap the connection between her and the spell.”

“Are you sure it won’t affect our universe?”

Twilight nodded.  “I checked while we were there.  It’s anchored in her room in Canterlot where she cast it.”

I snorted.  “And sucking on her mana as she slept nearby.  Do you think if she got far enough away from it, she might have managed to starve it enough to cause it to fail?”

“Yes and no. I thought of that possibility but I calculated that she would never be able to travel far enough to achieve that in the time available.  Instead, Luna would be back at her starting point immediately after the reset.”

“Even if the Elements sent her to the moon?”

Twilight opened her mouth then stopped.  “I… suppose that might have worked.  I’m glad she did not become desperate enough to request banishment for another thousand years.”

“At least travelling to another universe will certainly be far enough,” I said with a smile.

“I would certainly hope so!” Twilight agreed.

So, we kidnapped Luna.  Okay, it wasn’t quite as dramatic as that.  The Lunar Alicorn was waiting for us though and beat the Royal Guards to the portal. We told her to jump through and she did so without hesitation. Then Twilight shut off the portal. Luna staggered for a moment before steadying and raising her head high.

“I feel as if a great burden has been lifted from me,” she declared.

“That would be because the parasitic connection to your spell has been severed.  That should cause it to fail very quickly.”

“You could go back almost immediately if you wish,” I told her.

“Thank you, but I decline.  I have had enough of that day to last me a lifetime.  Wouldst thou grant me the boon of staying here overnight?”

We had no problem with that.  We got to introduce her to our extended families and gave her a banquet with foods she had not been served in years if ever.  Our alliances had given us access to some exotic cuisines.  She even met her counterpart in the night club that our Luna owned and ran.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she went back to her universe with some grand ideas borrowed from ours.

After probably the best night’s sleep that she had in ages, she was almost in tears the next morning when Twilight confirmed that it was a new day and not a repeat once more.  She was almost reluctant to return to her home universe but, when she stepped out of the portal, she found her worried sister waiting for her.  The two embraced while explanations were made. Apparently, Luna had left a note for Celestia, telling her that she might be gone for a day and to meet her here in the morning.  The Royal Guards were able to point out exactly where our portal opened, so the solar alicorn had been waiting at this spot since sunrise.  That was the final proof we needed that the spell was broken.

After disengaging from her sister, Luna came back to us. “Princess Twilight Sparkle – I cannot thank thee enough for thy wisdom.  Thou hast my eternal gratitude.  Prince Mark Wells – thou hast my greatest thanks for thy campaign to explore other worlds that brought me my salvation.  I would gladly bear thee many foals.”

Penny fell over laughing and I facehoofed.  Not another one!


# # # # # # # # #

> Surf's Up!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight called for a new dimensional exploration team following the latest recalibration of her portal.  I had to admit that, despite the potential Pandora’s box of unforeseen consequences, the continued exploration of the infinite multiverse did keep life interesting.  I fully expected whenever Celestia and Daring Do ran out of ancient temples and cursed artifacts to chase, they would be next in line begging to jump through the portal to explore new worlds.  In the meantime, Cadance decided to tag along with her husband “to see what all the fuss was about”.

Not because you’re itching for some adventure and want to keep an eye on your hubby?  OK, fine, Princess.  Whatever you say.

The exploration portal was a constant work in progress. Twilight always tweaked one aspect or another to some extent, though most of the technobabble she mumbled before every trip went over my head.  The one constant of these upgrades?  Worrying amounts of smoke emanated from the various gems, circuits, and boxes connected to the portal.  I did notice that with each new tweak, the color of the smoke from all the bits and pieces tended to differ.  My favorite had been the time the smoke was rainbow-colored.  That universe was ruled by a single pony – Alicorn Rainbow Dash. After Twilight escaped to attend to a supposed “emergency”, I had sat on the palace garden lawn for ninety minutes listening to the monarch recounting the stories of her awesomeness. Eventually, I gave up and promised to return when my co-ruler could keep the portal open for longer than two hours. Somehow, despite the teasing of my wives, I had not made it back to that universe yet.

Go figure.

Today’s expedition was a bit different from the usual affair.  Phil had bugged me for weeks to allow him to come along.  He got tired of just hearing about the excitement second-hoof and wanted to take advantage of a long weekend to join in on the fun.  His final and most convincing argument was that the Triarchs sometimes allowed our kids to come along.  After assigning Crimson Boulder to guard my best friend, Rosa signed off on her husband’s mostly safe adventure.  No way was I putting Phil potentially in harm’s way without that seal of approval!

Twilight signaled that the portal was ready, and Shining Armor jumped into the maelstrom of energy.  I nodded to Cadance and we likewise passed through the portal in quick succession.

I immediately noticed that this dimension differed widely from the standard routine.  I could usually count on a few constants in every universe:  Mount Canterhorn, Canterlot Castle, the castle gardens, and Royal Guards. Today they were all missing.

In the place of the castle and gardens was a very large beach hut surrounded by palm trees. They fit in well with the changed location: a white sand beach that stretched from horizon to horizon with a sparkling blue ocean keeping it company. Instead of Royal Guards, stallions and mares chatted under umbrellas and lounged on beach blankets.

The two locals who jogged up to the party wore no armor.  In place of spears, they carried surfboards.

I had to smile when I heard my childhood friend gasp behind me.  Trust Phil’s dumb luck to choose to come along on a mission to a beach paradise.

The pair of approaching stallions looked the newcomers up and down.  The light-brown earth pony stopped gaping long enough to say to me, “Gnarly entrance, dudes!  You here to catch a wave?  Boards are up against the hut.  Help yourselves!”

“Actually, we’re from another dimension,” I said.  “We travel from world to world to open trade and spread friendship.  We’re hoping to talk to whoever is in charge.”

The two surf ponies exchanged looks, then the teal pegasus said, “Sounds heavy, man.  You probably want to talk to the Big Kahuna or one of her crew.  That’s her surf shack by the way.”

They didn’t have a princess?  I assumed the portal had simply opened in a different area of Equestria.  Maybe Canterlot Castle didn’t exist in a dimension with no princesses to occupy it.

Penumbra cocked her head.  “The Big Kahuna?”

The two stallions pointed out onto the ocean where a huge wave was just coming in.  My jaw dropped at what I beheld.  It looked like Princess Celestia… sort of... except this version had a light-sandy color to her body.  Then it occurred to me that this could be best described as a ‘tanned’ look.  The alicorn wore a Hawaiian shirt and had a white bit of sunscreen on her nose.  The mare smiled broadly and waved, all while maneuvering her board to stay near the crest.  Unlike Marklestia who could find a way to drown in a teacup of water, this Celestia could “hang ten” with the tips of her hooves extending past the end of the longboard.

I turned to say something to Cadance but froze when I saw another figure zooming in on the same wave. The purple mare sped below Celestia, sharing a hoof clop as she passed.  The smaller alicorn rhythmically shifted her weight to propel her board off the top of the wave.  She grabbed it with one hoof while spinning to land point first onto the wave face. Her wings did not open nor did her horn light.  The graceful jump had been executed with nothing but skill.  Both the headband of flowers and the geometric tattoo that stretched across her back suited this alicorn perfectly.  If witnessing Big Kahuna surf-master Celestia was a bit jarring, beholding what I could only describe as a wahine Twilight was unbelievable. If nothing else, it proved that the Twilight in this dimension was still Celestia’s student. Though the curriculum she was learning was no doubt vastly different.

A loud and familiar gasp behind me told me that our Twilight had stepped through the portal in time to see her counterpart’s acrobatics.  I turned to see Cadance and Penumbra staring at our gobsmacked Princess of Friendship.  The pair fell onto their backs, laughing up a storm.  Twilight didn’t notice.  I wondered if I needed to step in front of my co-ruler to snap her out of her catatonia.

Meh.  Not my job.

I turned and grinned at Phil.  “I think we can wait for the Big Kahuna to finish her set to talk.  Let’s catch a wave in the meantime.”

He smirked. “Last one to grab a surfboard is buying!”  Except he yelled that over his shoulder as he was galloping toward the shack.

The jerk!  As I ran after him, I put another tally-mark on the “Get Back At Phil” clipboard in my head.


# # # # # # # # #

> Uncommon Interests
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I do not know how you manage to tolerate those fools so well,” grumbled Chrysalis as she, Penny, and I headed to the family room after the latest Day Court session.

My changeling wife was normally imperturbable, but the monthly meeting with the Council of Nobles was enough to make anypony tear their mane out, even if that person wasn’t a pony to start with.  “We Triarchs may be the ultimate authority, but you know the nobles hold much economic power.  They will always be looking out for themselves first, even if they dress it up as a benefit for the people.  I came from a country and culture which makes some of those nobles look like amateurs.  So I like to picture them being reamed by America’s most vicious billionaires and it makes me smile.”

Chrysalis deigned to snicker.  “I’ve tasted those moments where your emotions are at odds with the situation.”

I angled my head up to kiss my bug wife on the cheek.  “Your changeling network is instrumental in keeping those nobles more-or-less honest so I can afford thoughts like those.  My thanks as always, my Queen.”

“A pleasure to serve, my King.”

With Chrysalis’ mood restored, we arrived at the family room and entered.  I was pleasantly surprised to see a certain white alicorn there, sipping tea with Rarity and Trixie.

After I kissed my wives, I asked, “To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”

Celestia beamed and replied, “Daring Do has a novel commitment and has gone home to write. And, after years of adventuring, I felt it was a good time to slow down for a while and do some long-overdue socializing.”

After indicating to the maid Whisk Broom that I would like some tea also, I said, “Well, your timing couldn’t have been better.  Rarity and I will be presenting her Summer Collection tomorrow.  You’re welcome as always to come and watch.”

Celestia exchanged glances with Rarity before the alicorn almost shyly replied, “Actually, I was hoping to have a more hooves-on involvement this time.”

My eyebrow rose.  “Oh? What did you have in mind?”

“I’d like to try modeling some of the outfits rather than just looking at them.  After all, you always keep them for yourself afterward.”

I had to admit that I loved my collection of dresses and lingerie.  I’d had to add another wardrobe to my bachelor room to store them all.  Don’t look at me like that!  “What does Rares think of that idea?”

My unicorn wife looked as if she could barely contain her excitement.  “Darling, I first made those fashions with Celestia in mind.  Having you to model them has been a blessing, but to have Celestia herself wear them would be the culmination of a dream.”

I looked back to the solar alicorn.  “There’s your answer.  This is her passion project and I would never contemplate denying her this.  But perhaps we can make it interesting?  How about a little friendly competition between us to see who gets the most compliments for their presentation?”

Celestia’s smile grew and her eyes twinkled.  “Do you think that you could do better than the pony for whom the garments are designed?”

My smile grew, becoming a little predatory.  “You’re asking the pony who has been professionally trained at modeling and has had years of practice.”

“Then it’s game on, I suppose.”


# # #


Aside from my wives, we had a fairly large audience that night.  Fleur de Lis and her husband were in attendance.  The professional model had a permanent invitation to all these events but her schedule rarely permitted her presence. Cadance was here along with her daughters, Skyla and Flurry Heart, the latter for the first time.  The young pegacorn had shown little interest in fashions up until now.  Perhaps her mother had dragged her along, although the filly didn’t look too unhappy about it.  Maybe she just wanted to see her Uncle Mark strut the catwalk as Marklestia.  Come to think of it, she might have come just to have a dig at me for my hobby.  Flurry was proving to be quite tomboyish despite her very feminine appearance and had more than once amused me by rebelling against her mother’s attempts to make her into a pretty princess.

Also present were Crystal Shield and Gemini.  My child was in their mare form which was expected but, surprisingly, so was the changeling alicorn.  The whole reason why the two ended up engaged was that Crystal normally switched genders to the opposite of Gemini’s.  Perhaps they regarded this as a girl’s night out?  Come to think of it, maybe their male counterparts did the same?  They were old enough to not come to me to tell me their every plan.  Not that I would object – it only indicated good things if all their aspects got along together.  I’d have to check with Trixie to see what she knew.

At the back of the room, I spotted Nyx chatting with Luna…  I blinked.  Two Lunas!  I suspected what was happening and trotted over to join them.

“Good evening, ladies,” I said as I looked over the twins.  Only one wore a crown and, since my world’s Luna was retired and forewent the bling nowadays, that meant this could only be one pony.  “Time-loop Luna, I presume?”

She smiled. “Indeed.  I was informed of this interesting event and I admit to being very curious.”

Not to mention seizing every excuse to visit me.  The alicorn had not wavered in her intention to bear me foals.  No amount of me telling her that she need not ‘reward’ me that way dissuaded her in the least.  I had even resorted to telling her that my policy towards me giving mares a foal was that they join my herd, and that required approval from Trixie before I would even consider it.  I figured that Luna would not abandon her dimension and her role as Diarch there. That hadn’t had the desired effect though.  Worse yet, Trixie hadn’t said no.  The best I could do in moments like these was to completely ignore the situation.

“Were you hoping to have some material to tease your sister when you get back home?” I asked with a smile.

“That and to see how my stallion struts his stuff as a mare.”

I groaned inside.  I was ‘her stallion’ now?  It was definitely a mistake to tell her to ask Trixie.  These mares had a one-track mind sometimes.  I gave ‘my mare’ a weak smile.  “I hope you enjoy the show, although you will also get to see Celestia herself model tonight.  We’re having a friendly competition.”

“So I was informed.  I brought my camera.”  She held it up and smirked.

“Well, I have to get ready now.  I’ll talk to you all later.”  I hastily beat a retreat, well aware of the barely contained amusement of the other Luna and Nyx.

It was taking a bit longer than usual for me to slip mentally into the zone for the pageant, but then I noticed that Celestia was showing signs of nervousness. Suddenly, I was a fully professional mare and I gave the alicorn tips on how to carry herself.  I reassured her that this was going to be fun and to just watch me as I made the first strut down the catwalk.

It was a great show.  Rarity had made extra outfits especially for the occasion.  The fact that she’d had time to do so should have given me a tip-off but I was too immersed in my performance by then.  Anyway, with one of us out on the catwalk, it allowed the fashionista to fit the other out with the gowns or lingerie, keeping the intervals between them short.  I adjusted my mane to the shorter side to help distinguish between us although Fleur de Lis would know the difference in an instant anyway.  By the time we finished, Celestia was flushed with pleasure and she gave me a huge hug, thanking me profusely for letting her join in. Then Rarity, Celestia, and I went out onto the stage to take our bows to the applause of the audience.

While my wife and Celestia went back behind the curtain to undress the alicorn, I changed back to my normal stallion form right there on the catwalk.  I was still wearing a racy little number though, but that was intentional.  I loudly said, “And now, for the after-show entertainment.  For your delight, I present the latest in nightwear for your stallion!”  I then pranced in an uncoordinated manner down the catwalk as the Celestia-sized garments hung off my much smaller form.  The howls of laughter were music to my ears.  The day I started taking myself too seriously is when I’m getting too hidebound for the job.  Besides, maybe Loop Luna might find me a bit too silly for ‘her’ stallion.  She certainly needed to see this side of my personality… with or without the ill-fitting dress.

Eventually, I made my way to the back to disrobe.  Rarity gave me a mock glare before congratulating me on a good show. Celestia was still giggling.  I loved seeing that.  The mare deserved every bit of enjoyment after spending over a thousand years in service to Equestria.

I went to join the audience.  Fleur and Fancy hung around long enough to congratulate me on another excellent show before they had to leave.  Cadance sought me out to hug me and tell me which outfits she liked the most.

“So, who do you think was the better model?” I asked.

“Pfft! As if there was any question! Aunty Celestia might have been having fun, but you were the professional who showed the outfits in their best light.”

“Do you think Celly will be disappointed?”

The alicorn shook her head.  “Mark, she’s not that shallow and she knew exactly what she was getting into.  No, the only emotion that she will be experiencing is happiness at being able to share this with you.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “Why do you say that?”

“Because, sooner or later, Aunty is going to ask to join your herd,” she said with a sly grin.

I surprised her by smirking and replying, “I know.”

Cadance blinked, deflated by my reply.  “How?”

“Celestia and I have had a very good relationship for years now.  I’ve had plenty of time to find out why so many of my other-dimensional selves married her.  We are good matches, and I figured that once she got the adventuring bug tamed, she would start looking for something more.  Now, such things are not as simple for alicorns.  The fact that we live indefinitely means that we have to be careful in our choice of mates.  If we choose a normal pony, we would have to be prepared for them to die while we go on living.  Celestia already went through that with Mountain Blood.  That’s also why she hasn’t asked Rosa and Phil about forming a herd, despite them all getting along like gangbusters.”

I could see that hit Cadance despite her calm expression.  She loved her husband very much, but I knew of only one instance in all the dimensions where Shining Armor had ascended to alicornhood.  The odds of that happening to her mate were very slim.

I continued, “Therefore, as a fellow alicorn, I’m an obvious choice for a mate.  Between our already good relationship and her long-deferred needs, I figured out long ago that she would ask me sooner or later.”

“Do you know how Trixie will feel about that?”

“Are you kidding?  Having Celestia as her junior wife?  The biggest problem will be keeping Trixie’s ego in check.  I’m sure she’s already planning for the day, and I’ve had plenty of time to get used to the idea.”  I sighed. “Unlike for a certain other alicorn in this room.”

Cadance brightened.  “You’re referring to the interdimensional Luna?”

I nodded. “What’s your take on her?”

“She’s a lot different from our Luna in as much that she prefers stallions while ours leans toward mares.  That means that she finds you attractive for many of the same reasons that you have just espoused for Celestia.”

“Yeah, but I know next to nothing about her.  Her life has been different and we met only a few months ago.”

“Then ask her out for a date.”

I rolled my eyes.  “You miss my point – I’m not trying to add to my herd beyond Celestia.”

“After you married Trixie, did you intend to start a herd at all?”

“Well… no,” I admitted.

“Did you or did you not delight in bringing in Rarity despite that?”

“You know I did.”

“Did you think adding Penumbra was a mistake?”

“Of course not!”

“And what about Chrysalis?”

“You know that was different!”  Cadance gave me a flat look and I sighed.  “Yeah, that turned out well too.”

“And now you’ve just admitted that you’re prepared to admit Celestia to the herd. Why do you think it will end there? A six-mare herd is not common but hardly unheard of.  And to put things bluntly, Rarity and Penumbra will pass on, and so will Chrysalis eventually.  You will need strong mares to support you at those times.”

I nodded, well aware of that.  It was something that I preferred not thinking about.  “So, what do you think I should do about Luna?  Loop Luna, I mean.”

Cadance smiled. “I would never have pushed you toward our Luna – she’s not right for you.  If she hooks up with an alicorn, it will be with Twilight.  However, my talent is telling me that this other Luna can be a good match.”

“Can be?”

“You both need to know each other better.  She is smitten with you but she needs to learn more about you and vice versa.  This show tonight was a good start.”

A thought crossed my mind and I frowned.  “How did she learn about this event anyway?  Rather a coincidence that she heard about this private showing.”

Cadance’s enigmatic smile gave me all the answers I needed.  “Okay, okay!  I’ll start with inviting Luna around for dinner with the family sometime soon.  If Trixie is cool with it, we’ll see how things go from there.”

“Good stallion. Now, I believe I have monopolized your time for long enough.  Have a good evening, Mark.”

“You too, Cady.”

Flurry and Skyla departed with their mother and I noticed that several others had left the room including Nyx and our world’s Luna.  I headed for the remaining Alicorn of the Night.

“What did you think of the show?” I asked.

“Very entertaining and enlightening – I can hardly wait to show my sister my photographs. Your final performance was amusing too.”

As Cadance probably already knew, my little stunt had done nothing to deter the mare. “I’m glad that you enjoyed it. Would you like to have dinner with us tomorrow night?  We can talk about other things you might enjoy.”

Luna’s face lit up.  “I would be delighted, although you already know what I would most enjoy.”

I shook my head and chuckled.  “Patience, Loopy.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “Art thou intending to call me that in future?” she asked sternly.

“Yep. Gotta distinguish between you two Lunas if you’re going to be spending a lot more time around here.”

Luna immediately understood the implication and forgave my presumption.  “I’ll allow it.  In private.”

She didn’t know me too well, did she?  Yet.  I grinned.  “Then I’ll see you again tomorrow.  Good night, Loopy.”  I then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She teleported away with a squeal of glee.  Had I gone too far?  Or just far enough?  Time would tell.  I turned to find Celestia chatting with my wives.  Time to face the music.  They all fell silent and turned to look at me as I approached.  There was no need to ask what the topic of conversation was. They were all waiting to see what I would do.  It was time for me to be proactive for a change.  I faced the solar alicorn and said, “Ask!”

Unlike when Penny had joined the herd, I did not have to explain.  If she was ready after all this time, as I thought she was, she would know what I meant.  And she did.

“Prince Mark Wells – will you do me the honor of allowing me to join your herd and being my stallion?”

“Princess Celestia – I would be delighted and honored to be your stallion and I welcome you into our herd.”

She smiled joyfully and sank to my level to kiss me.  There were cheers from my wives and they moved in to kiss their new herdmate too.  Well, all except Chrysalis.  She merely smiled in satisfaction as she soaked in all the love.  When she noticed me looking her way, she winked and said, “I am no longer the junior wife.”

I chuckled and turned back to Celestia.  “What’s ours is yours.  Except for the throne.  I’m keeping that.”

I love the sound of my wives laughing – all five of them.





Trixie cheerfully forewent her nightly privilege of being the first to make love with her husband so that I could properly bed Celestia.  However, although I had grown considerably over the years since ascending to alicorn status, I was still nowhere near my newest herdmate’s stature. Fortunately, she knew a size-change spell and shrank herself to much more accommodating dimensions.  She was still a little bigger than me, but then, so were all my other wives.  Let me tell you though, her sexual appetite was in proportion to her normal size. The mare had many centuries to catch up on and I think she must have managed at least one of them that evening. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.  The human I once was had now faded to a mere memory, and the pony stallion that I was now had no doubts that this had been the right choice.  My herd had grown again, and perhaps it would do so once more in the not too distant future.


# # # # # # # # #

> Hermit Alicorns
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another week another portal jump.

I had lost count of how many dimensions I had visited by now, although I made a point of not mentioning this as I was sure Twilight would be able to tell me.

As always, Shining Armor preceded the rest of the group.  When I completed my transition through the portal, I took in the scenery through the magenta glow of his shield.

What I saw was a whole lot of nothing – well, unless you counted the trees.  The valley glimpsed through breaks in the canopy confirmed we were on the side of Canterlot Mountain as expected, but there was nothing here: no city, no castle, no ponies.  After Twilight and Penumbra joined us, Shining dropped the shield.  A quick flight showed no signs of Ponyville or any other settlements within view.  All that could be seen was untouched wilderness.

Was this a world where ponies never migrated to Equestria? Or like that one universe Twilight and I visited where ponies never evolved into sapient beings?

After the three fliers rejoined Shining, a sharp sound in the distance interrupted our discussion.  A slow trek through the trees led us to a stone cabin built in a small clearing.  A fenced-in garden spread out over much of the open space.  What I could only assume was this dimension’s Celestia levitated two stones above a roughly cut section of wood.  The upper stone struck the wedge-shaped lower stone three times, splitting the log in two. Nearby, a primitive hoe leaned against the cabin wall.  Next to me, Twilight let out a small gasp.

This Celestia didn’t have the princess-perfect look of most of her counterparts.  Her mane did not have an ethereal quality.  Instead, it was grimy and tied back by a scarf.  Her coat was far from clean, and she wore no crown or other golden accouterments.  While still possessing the impressive height, this alicorn looked thin and malnourished. What surprised me most was the lack of a cutie mark.

She didn’t acknowledge our presence as we approached, just keeping at her task.  When we reached the fence, she spoke without turning to face us.

“What do you lot want? If it’s food, then you are wasting your time.  I don’t have any to spare.  Trust me when I say you don’t want a fight.  Or did you just come here to gawk at the freak?”

A couple of puzzle pieces fell into place on how this world’s timeline had played out. I said, “We’re not here for any of those things, Miss.  We’re travelers from another dimension where our Equestria’s history is very different from this one’s.  I am Prince Mark and these are Princess Twilight Sparkle, Prince Shining Armor, and Captain Penumbra.  Twilight and I are two parts of the Triarchy that rules our Equestria.  We’ve come to explore and, where needed, provide aid to other versions of Equestria.  Could you tell us a bit about this dimension? Like why you thought we were here for food or to fight.”

When I had started talking, Celestia turned to face us and gaped.  “More winged unicorns,” she muttered.  “And a night pegasus out of legend.”

Penumbra lifted her head proudly and winked at me.  I knew I’d be hearing for weeks about how my herdmate had been acknowledged by none other than a bona fide Celestia as truly legendary.

The white alicorn shook her head.  “Well, OK, that’s a first.  I’m Celly and I live here with my sister, Luna.  She’s asleep in the cabin.  We trade shifts to keep watch; she takes the night and I take the day.” She tilted her head and smiled.  “So winged unicorns are royalty in your land? Must be nicer than being a freak.  That’s what the three tribes labeled me and my sister.”

Twilight stepped forward.  “Winged unicorns are called alicorns in other dimensions.  They embody one or more powerful aspects of their worlds.  My affinities are magic and friendship.  Mark’s special talent is lightning.”

Penumbra said, “…and collecting alicorn wives.  He isn’t picky which dimension they come from.”

I scowled and gave my herdmate a dark look.  When I brought my eyes back to Celestia, her ears were pointed directly at me.  Wonderful.  Great job, Penny.

Celestia blushed.  “Uh, so anyway…  I’m not sure how much more I can tell you.  We’ve been living here together in the wilderness for I don’t know how long since none of the tribes would accept us.  Plus, when we lived closer to the tribes, all three of them would come to harass us.  If more than one group came at once.  we’d spend days cleaning up the mess from the fight they would have on our doorstep.”

Twilight shuffled on her hooves, clearly distressed not only by the sad life this version of Celestia had lived, but also that ponykind was living so unharmoniously.  “The tribes aren’t working together in this dimension? They’re still at war? What about the Windigos?”

Celestia furrowed her brow.  “The Win-dig-what’s? Never heard of them.”

“Then why did the tribes migrate to Equestria?”

“You used that name before.  Is that what you call this part of the world?” At our acknowledging nods, she continued.  “The tribes never migrated, they colonized this area, oh, about a thousand years ago. It was a contest between the three on who could claim the most territory in this new land.  A little after the second wave of settlers arrived, the three tribes’ war back in the motherland intensified.  From what I heard, they destroyed the homeland in their fighting; it’s nothing but blasted wasteland now.  Since the colonies were still dependent on the homeland for shipments of food and manufactured goods, the lives of the colonist ponies here weren’t easy once those supplies ran out.  This was made even worse by the refugees who escaped the destruction with nothing but their hides.  The stragglers did bring one thing with them: the fighting.  The fools got the bright idea to start raiding each other for supplies; thus, starting the whole conflict all over again here.  The last time I checked their settlements, ponies had regressed to arming themselves with stone weapons.  I don’t know what state they might be in now.  As I said, my sister and I aren’t welcome.  They may have died out; you are the first ponies I’ve seen in at least a hundred years.”

I frowned. It seemed that without the guidance of the princesses or the mutual threat of Windigos, the three tribes of this dimension lacked the push toward working together.  They had gone the other way and paid a steep price.

While our party exchanged a few words, the alicorn excused herself and headed into the cabin.  Celestia woke her sister whose complaints we could hear clearly through the chinks in the cabin walls.  The griping only stopped when I heard Celestia’s voice get in some words edgewise. The two I could make out were “stallion” and “handsome”.  Penumbra’s superior hearing and wide grin reinforced my hunch that the alicorn was not referring to Shining Armor.

When Luna emerged, her face was wet and clean, but the rest of her looked just as bedraggled as her sister.  It seemed that in this dimension washing one’s face constituted making oneself presentable.

Luna’s jaundiced eye roamed across the four of us while her sister got her up to speed. Celestia finished with, “Is there anything you want to ask our guests, Luna?”

The dark alicorn huffed.  “Now you’ve seen our world – when do we leave to visit yours?”

The sisters were more than willing to allow us to use their cabin as a basecamp for some of our guards.  We conversed a while longer with what I had come to think of as Hermit Celestia and Luna while Twilight took the steps to set up a permanent portal.

Shining suggested doing a reconnaissance of where the sisters recalled the three tribes were last located.  This would allow us to better decide how to proceed with this dimension.

We extended the offer to visit our dimension to Hermit Celestia and her sister and they jumped at the chance to do so.  I couldn’t help but wonder if their eagerness was out of wanting to end their loneliness or confirm our assurances that ponies in our dimension wouldn’t treat them as undesirables.

My herdmate, Celestia, had taken Loopy to Mount Aris for the week to introduce her to Queen Novo and for some relaxation time.  Instead, Rarity and Penumbra took charge of our visitors as soon as they arrived in the Castle of Friendship portal room.  They told the sisters that the country village of Ponyville would be their first destination.  Inwardly, I agreed that the bustling metropolis of Canterlot might be too severe a culture shock.  Unsurprisingly, Rarity insisted that the Ponyville Spa was the first order of business. When I switched to Marklestia form, Hermit Celestia fell on her rump in shock.  Doing my best to ignore the unrestrained laughter of her sister, I offered to accompany my herdmates.

Rarity patted me on the withers.  “Mark, darling, there are subjects to be discussed that would turn your delicate ears red with embarrassment.  Another time, perhaps.”

Penny added, “Any other time.  Not this time.  Trust us.”

I knew better than to argue with my mares.  Still, I put my mouth next to the fashionista’s ear.  “Let me know if a Royal Command Performance is in order.  I don’t mind giving up some of my favorite outfits to this Celestia.”

Rarity gave me a long kiss.  “Thank you, Mark.  That won’t be necessary, but I love you for offering.”

Penny came to my side and whispered, “I heard that.  Only one Element of Generosity allowed in this herd.” She then belied those words with a long and sensuous kiss that left me hungry for more. Unfortunately, that would have to wait as my herdmates chivvied the two begrimed alicorns out the door.

The hermit alicorns returned hours later prancing on their pedicured hooves.  They flaunted their exquisitely styled manes and tails.  Their coats had lost the overlying shades of gray and brown, now displaying the familiar Prussian blue and alabaster.  Suspiciously, the pair presented me with a detailed list of their demands in exchange for allowing a portal to remain on their homestead.  In addition, our citizens could establish (well-fortified) settlements of our own in their world.  Perhaps seeing a multitude of races cooperating peacefully would serve as an example to the bickering tribes.  Squinting at the hornwriting and shape of the bullet-points confirmed that the dictation had been made to Twilight Sparkle.  The final bullet read, “Prince Mark Wells will take the two of us to party at Luna’s nightclub this very evening.”

“Is there a reason you are dawdling, Dowser?” Trixie walked past me, already garbed in a dress suitable for dancing all night.

I sighed as I tossed the scroll onto a nearby table.  These pushy mares had already made all the decisions for me, it seemed. “Terms accepted.  Let’s take care of the last item first.”

The two sisters squealed like foals and planted kisses on my cheeks before I had a chance to react.





A few days later, we returned a very happy pair of alicorn sisters to their cabin – their new saddlebags loaded with food and a variety of items they were unable to create themselves or have the opportunity to enjoy.  Both sisters treasured the gift of a simple gramophone and records to play on it.  Both had fallen in love with orchestral music – something they had never experienced in their past.  Celestia had been brought to tears of happiness by the steel axe and saw. The tools had the best self-sharpening enchantment that bits could buy.  Luna’s pride and joy was a telescope larger than herself.  A hoof-scribbled addition to the margin of their demands specified an observatory that was already under construction before they returned.

After a week of searching, the scouts found the three tribes, or at least what was left of them.

Their reports described the settlements as extremely primitive but also very hostile. All three settlements featured crude stone barricades behind moats.  The nearby trees had been cleared to create lines of sight for kill zones.  It was clear the tribes were still not working together and were just barely above the tech level of cave ponies.  The earth ponies seemed to be in the best shape, mostly because they retained the knowledge of agriculture.  The other two tribes appeared to survive through foraging.

This left me and my fellow Triarchs in a bit of a bind.  We were unsure of whether or how we should intercede.  Twilight wanted to provide food, but Trixie stated that would only feed them for a while and encourage sloth or looting from the other tribes.  It felt to me like a case of ‘Give a man a fish and feed him for today.  Teach a man to fish feed him for life’ type of situation.

We tried to persuade Hermit Celestia and Luna to take the reins of power but that was immediately rejected.  That surprised Trixie and Twilight but not me.  The not-royal sisters had no love for the descendants of the ponies that had run them out of society and into a life of seclusion and hardship.

Sending the guards of the same tribe to broker peace turned out to be a non-starter. Each settlement believed the appearance of strangers to be some form of ruse from the other two tribes and attacked our messengers on sight.  Our trial attempt to leave aid packages were buried (earth pony), dropped into a gorge (pegasus), and blown up (unicorn).

In the end, I convinced both Trixie and Twilight that this was beyond our ability to solve.  We couldn’t force cooperation onto these ponies and taking over their settlements with our superior military would not only cost lives but just make them feel more justified in their mistrust of other ponies.  It was a case of ‘you can’t help somepony that refuses to be helped’.

The Triarchs decided to maintain the portal and relations with the two sisters and hope that the three tribes worked it out themselves or something occurred to force them to work together.  That’s why I was so surprised when Hermit Celestia and Luna requested an audience with me a few weeks later.

“Can I help you, ladies?” I asked, only then noticing their daring manestyles and evening dresses.  I didn’t have to check the labels to know they were my herdmate’s designs.  A whiff informed me that the pair had recently visited Aloe and Lotus.  I could smell the floral feather oil that every winged mare I knew would die for.

After a short pause, Luna nudged her sister with enough force to make her stumble.  The white alicorn cleared her throat a couple of times before saying, “My sister and I are eternally grateful for all you have done to help us, Prince Wells.  We wanted you to know the sincere depth of our appreciation.”

I smiled. “I can’t take full credit.  So many ponies in my Equestria have done what they can to help you two – plus my fellow Triarchs and wives.”

Penumbra stood up a bit straighter behind them, her face an unreadable mask.  That made me suspicious, and I perked my ears forward.  What was I missing?

Celestia blushed and nodded her head before continuing.  “Of course, of course.  Well, you see... because it is not yet Spring, my sister and I... well...”

Luna rolled her eyes.  “What my shy-as-a-baby-breezie sister is trying to say is that we haven’t slept with a stallion in over two centuries.  We don’t feel any attraction toward the three tribes and our dalliances with other races have ended poorly.  You are the only alicorn stallion in this land, and the two of us want to bed you... for as long as you can withstand it.”

Penumbra’s lips pressed into a thin line and tears leaked from her eyes.  She was trying so hard to keep a straight face.  The Grandmaster of Pranks hadn’t even needed to do anything beyond the initial quip.  She had just let gravity roll her pebble downhill, knocking larger stones loose until two boulders landed in my lap – or tried to.  Inwardly, part of me despaired.  How in Tartarus could I top this prank?

I returned my attention to the two sisters.  I considered their request.  Luna was straightforward and that I could deal with.  Meet dark fire with equal force until it was quenched.

Her blushing sister, however, was a different story.  Celestia rustled her wings and couldn’t meet my eyes.  That one I couldn’t predict.  I was reminded of Fluttershy when she courted me years ago. I had no inkling at the time about Flutterbat or THE STARE.  I shuddered. It was always the quiet ones you had to be careful of.

“I’m sorry, ladies, but I must decline.  While as a stallion I have the right to bed any mare, I strongly prefer to share my affections only with my herdmates.”

The two alicorns deflated.

I smirked. “Perhaps you should have scribbled that request in the margins of your list of demands after the fact, just like Luna did with her observatory.”

The dark alicorn jabbed her sister in the side with a forehoof.  “I told you to do exactly that! But no! You and your infernal shyness!”

I laughed at their antics.  So much like the royal sisters I knew, and yet so different.  “I can suggest an alternative if you are interested.” Their pointed stares and pricked ears told me they were.  “There is a changeling queen named Ember who recently arrived in Canterlot from another dimension.  Her establishment provides satisfaction for clients with... unusual requests.”

“Unusual?” the sisters chorused.

“The more unusual the better.”

Celestia and Luna shared a look and nodded.  The white alicorn said, “That would be acceptable.”

“Excellent,” I said as I got to my hooves.  “In the meantime, if you two would like to once again exercise the last demand you made upon this Equestria—”

I didn’t get to finish my sentence as the pair kissed me on the cheeks and practically carried me out the door.  Luna called out, “Make way! We are off to my counterpart’s club to dance and drink our cares away! This night shall last forever!”


# # # # # # # # #

> New Venture
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most Court sessions, both Day and Night, called for a single alicorn to preside over them, but every now and then when the need called for it, Trixie and I held Day Court together.  This was normally only done when matters of greater importance needed to be decided.  The really important decisions were made with the full Triarchy in the monthly meetings, but dealing with the nobles occasionally needed the weight of two alicorn rulers making a decision.  This was to prevent the more devious among them from making an end-run around a single Triarch.  Despite the number of times my wife and I had foiled their efforts, they never stopped trying to pull one over on us.

I gave my advisor a grateful smile as Trixie called the morning session to a close.  The changeling queen played a major role in making our lives easier.  Even after all these years, the nobles, industrialists, and various other self-interested parties continued to seriously underestimate my fourth wife’s ability to ferret out the facts in every case.  The Canterlot changelings were unmatched in their zeal and were absolutely incorruptible.  Their loyalty to the Hive and thus to the Crown ensured that they would always serve the Equestrian Empire to best of their abilities.  I had no idea back then when Chrysalis had pledged her loyalty to Equestria and became my herdmate how much of a game-changer that would be.  It had enabled our nation to grow sustainably and peacefully for years.  I projected my gratitude to my Queen and she smiled smugly back.  She loved all the machinations and the payoffs of her role, and she was making good on her declaration on making her hive the greatest in the world.

However, it was another world that was to occupy my thoughts at lunch.  As usual, Twilight was in the dining hall to enjoy the meal with us.  It was our practice to pass on the results of the morning session to whoever was presiding over the afternoon session.  Sparkle was already aware of the matters being brought up that day, so it didn’t take long to apprise her of the relevant details. In fact, we were done before we even sat down at the table, which suited me well because we had guests today to discuss an important new phase in my plans to expand my interdimensional commercial project with Earth.  And that is why Phil and Rosa were joining us for a business lunch.  Also joining us was Celestia who was on a break between one of her inter-dimensional adventures with Daring Do, and had offered to give us her perspective on the proposal.

The final guests were the last to join us.  A human and an anthro mare were ushered in by the Royal Guard at the door.  The man smiled at me and said, “I hope we’re not late, Mark?”

“Not at all, Caleb,” I replied.  “You and Sky take a seat.  We were just about to order some drinks.”

The two newcomers greeted the rest of those gathered as they settled onto chairs, two of which were suited to the bipeds in anticipation of their presence.  After everyone had requested their drinks, Caleb addressed me again.

“So – what’s this big favor that you wanted to ask of us?”

“Actually, that’s something you should be asking Phil and Rosa,” I replied.

Caleb turned to the unicorn and griffoness and spread his hands in supplication, wordlessly asking the same question.

Phil’s horn lit up and his magic levitated some papers out of the briefcase that he had brought along.  He placed copies in front of everyone seated at the table before replying. “Those documents contain the profiles of four of our staff members on the Earth side of the portal.  We’re expanding our business Earth-side and we want to introduce them to Equestria.  As our resident human, we’d like you to help ease them into a whole new world.”


# # #



To be continued in the spinoff story: “Brave New Pony World”.

> Lyra's Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark placed the last of the paperwork into the outbox.  He sighed and leaned back into his office chair. Relations with so many parallel dimensions had increased the workload of all three rulers.  Adding oversight of Harmonic Composites cut further into his personal time. The Triarchs’ plans included rapidly expanding interaction with his home dimension, so the problem would only get worse. 

Mark made a note on his To Do list to look into suitable candidates to delegate the running of the company. Phil and Rosa were best suited as hooves and talons-on managers involved with everyday work and problems.  Strategic planning and, for lack of a better term, glad-handing CEOs of other companies were not their strong suit.  Xyrdur would have been a perfect fit but Mark doubted anything could tempt the dragon away from running the largest financial institution on all of Equus, now expanding to other realms with branch offices and partnerships.  Perhaps one of the changeling princesses or one of the four human assistant managers?

Chrysalis sashayed into the office carrying a scroll in her green magic. His fourth wife’s smirk made Mark half-expect her to close the door behind her so they could have some quality personal time.  On second thought, he remembered that the changeling queen had no compunction about showing off her stallion’s virility.  

With a flash of his horn, Mark closed the door.  “Shall I clear off the desk?  Or is it more fun to knock everything off as we go?”

Chrysalis showed all of her fangs.  “Such an impatient and impertinent stallion.  Would you debase yourself by taking advantage of your advisor in your office?”

Mark snorted.  “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Very true.”  His wife stopped at the edge of the desk and leaned forward, closing her eyes.  Mark stood and tried to kiss her, only to be stopped by a hoof.  “But not quite yet, my husband.  For context, you must read this report from Agent Sweetie Drops.”

“Bon Bon?”  Mark took the scroll from Chrysalis’s magic field and opened it.  His wife’s hoof interrupted his attempt to read the contents. She guided his head to look her in the eyes.  

“… and her mate.  One of my Ponyville drones shared this with me.  I will give you a preview of the contents.”

The kiss began as normal then blossomed into something else.  Mark felt euphoria fill his body in a way no kiss had done since his first kiss in high school.  By the time he could think clearly again, Chrysalis faced away from him, opening the door with her magic.  She looked over her shoulder, fixing her husband with one eye.

“I will arrange with Loopy to open the portal to the secret grotto.  Bring your angry and possessive self, my lover. I will be disappointed if I do not require minor medical attention when the evening is through.”  With an especially wide swish of her tail, Chrysalis left the room and closed the door behind her.  

Mark sat down to get off his shaky knees.  So, it was going to be one of those sessions.  

Curious about what could have brought all this about, he began reading the scroll.  





Lyra Heartstrings scowled then huffed out her nostrils. If she could have stomped her hooves like an earth pony causing tremors in the ground, she would have. Trying to do so as a unicorn would make her look like a spoiled filly.

Once again, her application for work at Harmonic Composites had been turned down. No matter the position: administrative assistant, manufacturing, watchpony, logistics management, purchasing, and most recently, finance; the answer was always the same. “Sorry, you’re just not a good fit.”

The light green unicorn grumbled to no one in particular. “It’s just not fair. If I had a lance cutie mark instead of a lyre, I could get one of the security guard spots. Could I get an illusion applied? No, that would never work. Their detection spells would find me when I took my first step into the facility … just like it did last week … and the week before.”

Through a gap in the houses, Lyra spotted a human in the market – one she had not seen previously. A mare, shorter and rounder than average, and with a beaming smile. The unicorn knew that the four new Harmonic Composites managers from Earth occasionally visited Equestria in their natural forms. This was a rare opportunity. She stopped in her tracks and looked in every direction, including up. No Bon Bon in sight.

Perfect.

With a spring in her step and perked ears, Lyra cantered forward, eyes locked on her prize. No one else registered in her perceptions until she stood next to the human. Time for introductions. “Excuse me! Do you know who I am?”

The human turned and gave Lyra a huge grin. “Well, Ah reckon you’re the cutest little pony Ah’ve ever seen!”

A shiver rolled up the unicorn’s spine, leaving her head buzzing. The unicorn gasped as the rest of the world slipped away – only the dazzling smile and tiny eyes of the creature before her remained. “Yes. Yes, I am.”





Bon Bon finished bagging the love-infused truffles. The confectioner had no idea how a Pinkie Pie Hug could impart love into a bag of sugar but she knew better than to complain. Business was up … way up with a whole new demographic making regular trips to her store. So much so that the storefront expansion was nearly complete and half paid for. She had already held a few Interviews and tryouts for an apprentice candymaker. She smiled inwardly at Prince Mark’s response to her scroll asking if he wanted to try a career change, reminding him of his first trip to Ponyville. Bon Bon had no idea what “LOL! ROTFL!” meant, but he visited Ponyville often enough that she would learn soon.

The earth pony set the bag onto the counter and rang the cash register. “That will be three silvers, Ms. Orthoptera.” When her customer didn’t reply, Bon Bon looked up. The crystal changeling stood gaping with her eyes vacant. A dribble of spit rolled onto the floor.

Bon Bon frowned. “Orthoptera?” She reached out a hoof. “Can you hear me?”

In answer, the changeling’s wings snapped open. “Bliss alert,” Orthoptera said dreamily. Flying out the front door, she yelled, “Bliss Alert!”

The mare went to the window. Several changelings buzzed through the air, all heading for the Marketplace. In the distance, dots resolved themselves to be more changelings on their way. As a Royal Auxiliary Guard, Bon Bon stayed briefed on the latest intelligence concerning all the races on Equus. This behavior didn’t line up with anything she knew of.

Stepping outside the shop, she heard two changelings call out to each other.

“Is it the crazy green unicorn?”

“Yes!”

The earth pony mare pulled a pair of sunglasses from her mane and placed them over her narrowed eyes. Even with them obscured, the scowl betrayed her mood. Agent Sweetie Drops a.k.a. Bon Bon should have felt professionalism descend over her like a cloak. It failed, however, to remove the hint of anger from her voice.

“Lyra!”





Agent Sweetie Drops scanned the scene before her. Six or seven concentric rings of changelings surrounded a spot in the center of the market, away from the stalls. Dozens more changelings filled the air. There were Canterlot changelings, evolved and unevolved crystal changelings from King Thorax’s hive, red changelings, pale green changelings from Queen Polistae’s hive, and a few she couldn’t place. Even the orange-chitined drones of Queen Sanguine Dreams joined the swarm. Sweetie Drops was certain this was the first time anypony had seen them undisguised. All faced the center of the area, their wings outstretched as if to catch an imaginary wind. Every bugpony had their eyes closed and expressions of pure rapture on their faces. Over the constant buzz of their wings, she could just make out voices coming from the center.

“An’ your coat is so soft Ah just can’t believe it! An’ your mane is so purty Ah wanna fill it with bows! An’ these squishy cheeks of yours are so gosh-darn adorable! Ah’m gonna call you Squishy!”

“OK.”

The earth pony projected her anger outward to convince the gathered changelings to step aside as she marched forward. To her surprise, none of them seemed to notice her as she pushed through the gathered throng.

Reaching the center, she found a circular space a dozen pony-lengths wide. To one side, Phil Martine pivoted to look around, his neck arched to study the patchwork quilt of colorful bugponies that surrounded them. In the middle of the area, a human mare sat cross-legged. This must be the replacement manager Jolene Harris. Sweetie Drops had only seen her pink earth pony form before now.

Lyra Heartstrings sat motionless in the human’s lap with the unicorn’s legs folded beneath her. Her eyes were closed and a euphoric smile stretched across her muzzle. At least, it appeared to be a smile. Hard to tell with the human’s hands gripping Lyra’s cheeks and wiggling them up and down.

Jolene let out a squee. “Outa all the Squishies Ah know, you’re mah absotively favoritest! You’re cuter than button eyes on a plush doll! Ah’m of a mind to keep pettin’ your mane and pretty tail forever!” Lyra answered with a foalish giggle.

Sweetie Drops peered over her sunglasses. “Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. I think you’ve had enough for one day.” This caused no reaction from the unicorn mare … not even an ear flick. The earth pony blinked and spoke again. “Lyra?”

“She can’t hear you.”

The mare turned to see a red changeling princess stride through the crowd. Unlike Sweetie Drops’ walk through the throng, changelings instinctively made room for bugpony royalty. The princess made it a body length and a half further into the circle before her step faltered and she put her hooves down. Sweetie Drops saw a strained smile on the changeling’s face and her furled wings trembled at her sides. Sweetie Drops recognized the distinctive pattern of scars across the bugpony’s chitin.

“Princess Tarsalia? What do you mean?”

The Red Hive Princess nodded toward the two centers of attention. “Miss Heartstrings is in a state of bliss. Pure, life-fulfilling, existential bliss. From my race’s perspective, it is the highest form of love that a pony can feel. As such, it is also the most prized by all changeling hives.”

That explained the undisguised changelings coming out of the woodwork. “Really?”

“Indeed. Many ponies go their entire lives without feeling this emotion. Miss Heartstrings is most fortunate.”

That made Sweetie Drops hesitate. Could she deny her wife this opportunity? From the edge of the circle, a small red nymph looked up at the earth pony with pleading compound eyes. “You’re not going to make her sad, are you, Miss Bonnie Bonnie?”

The mare felt attention shift to her from many of the assembled changelings. What would happen to her business if she interrupted this pony/human séance? Would she lose half of her customers? In any case, no one was in danger of being hurt. Best tread cautiously for now and wait to see if Lyra snapped out of it on her own. “Maybe … you could tell me more about this ‘bliss’?”

An evolved crystal changeling in the front row said, “Princess Cady gave a concert in Canterlot Stadium a year ago. She’s the one from the dimension where she and Queen Chryssy married their Shining Armor. Cady projected out all the types of love she knew to the one hundred percent changeling audience, naming each as she went. Bliss was the last one and it brought the house down!” He laughed. “Everyling helped out to fix the damage before the Canterlot Comet’s hoofball game the next weekend!”

A red changeling smiled. “That was the best concert ever!” Murmurs of assent came from several of the assembled changelings along with head nods.

A green changeling said, “But this bliss is fresh … and spontaneous … and … and …”

“Exquisite,” said Tarsalia. The Red Hive princess snapped her wings to their full extension. Her mouth hung open and her eyes rolled into her head.

Sweetie Drops sighed. It seemed the princess’ strict discipline could only help her hold out for so long, especially this close to the source of the waves of bliss. She looked at Phil Martine who shrugged.

“A bit outside my pay grade and way outside my job responsibilities. So long as town life isn’t disrupted too badly, and not on company time, I don’t see an issue.”

Speaking of that, Sweetie Drops stood on her hind legs and looked across the stalls in the market. The congregation of changelings had increased in size, now crowding out the pony shoppers and some of the vendors. The earth pony mare said, “Alright, everybeing, you’ve had your fun. Time to wrap this up.”

The surrounding changelings slowly opened their eyes and sighed at the same time, which Sweetie Drops had to admit was kind of adorable. Princess Tarsalia raised her muzzle and chittered something in High Changeling, of which the earth pony didn’t know a syllable. The responses were in Low Changeling, which she knew enough to make out unanimously positive responses.

The Princess spread her wings. “As good a time as any for me to return to my duties. I’ll speak to Prince Mark about a job requisition.” Before the earth pony could ask what she meant, Tarsalia shot through the air on a direct route to Canterlot. Drones flowed out of her way and reformed behind like water in a pond.

“Not quite everybeing has had their fun.”

Sweetie Drops turned to see her wife giving her a calm and confident smile. Behind Lyra, the outer rings of changelings flew off, or in the case of those on the ground, lowered their wings. They walked away while talking in hushed voices. The closest hundred or more bugponies stayed where they were, content to lap up the remaining positive emotions. For her part, Jolene wove the unicorn’s mane into a tight braid with deft movements of her fingers.

The earth pony mare folded her sunglasses and stored them in her mane. Once again Bon Bon, she scowled. “What exactly do you mean, O Queen of the Multi-Colored Ponyville Hive?”

Lyra let out her silvery laugh that made Bon Bon’s heart skip a beat. “Is that what I look like?” She glanced upward without moving her head. “What do you think, everyling? Should I demand a seat at the next changeling Queen’s Council?”

Chitters of laughter rolled across the marketplace, punctuated with a “Yes, Ma’am!” from the diminutive red nymph.

The unicorn mare smiled even wider. “In my first action as Her Majesty, Queen Lyra Heartstrings the First…”

Bon Bon braced herself, thinking, “Here it comes.”

“… I decree from the Jolene Harris royal throne that the fun will not cease until you, Bon Bon, have sat in my place for… a half hour.”

“What? Absolutely not!”

“Awwww…” The collective moans from the surrounding bugponies tugged at the earth pony’s … heartstrings.

“OK, fine. Five minutes. That’s it.”

Lyra’s grin expanded to show all her teeth. “Fifteen or I’ll sit here for that long before asking you again.”

Bon Bon thought to herself, “When the heck did she get so good at negotiating?” She sighed. “Fine.” Bon Bon ignored polite clapping from the assembled changelings while more of them drifted away.

Lyra stood and moved to the woman’s side. “Jolene, let me introduce you to my wife, Bon Bon.” The unicorn’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “If anything, she’s even more adorable than me.”

The human grinned. “Ah can see that as plain as day. ‘Specially when she’s all grumpy.”

The earth pony marched to her fate with as much grace as possible, imagining hair curlers, bows, glitter, and all sorts of humiliating mane and tail treatments in her immediate future. After kneeling in the human’s lap, she mumbled, “Pleased to meet you, Miss Harris.” The answering hug did make her feel better.

“Don’t you worry your purty li’l noggin, Miss Bonnie. Ah’ll have you know that Ah’m more than a mite familiar with ponies from mah childhood.”

“You don’t say.”

The human missed the sarcasm. “Yep! Used to spend every summer with mah cousins on their horse an’ pony farm. One of the hired hands, Miss Natalie, took me under her wing, so to speak. Learned me a bit ‘bout how to massage horses and how to read their moods.”

Jolene didn’t miss the ear flick as her hands roamed across Bon Bon’s neck. “Mah apologies. Forgot that ain’t a polite word here. A-a-a-anyways, just touching your splenius and cervical trapezius muscles let me know how much tension your holdin’.” She laughed. “Ah could drive a nail into a board with your brachiocephalicus right now. Why dontcha take some deep breaths.”

“Wonderful,” thought Bon Bon. “Even the human has a way to read emotions.” Still, the mare dutifully followed Jolene’s request. In … hold … out. In … hold … out.

Lyra spoke up. “Jolene, why don’t you try those little mane pulls?”

The earth pony said, “I’d rather you…Oh!” Waves of relaxation radiated out from where the human’s fingers had gently tugged small sections of mane. Bon Bon closed her eyes. “That does feel…” Her words trailed off. A minute later, her mouth hung open as her jaw relaxed. She barely registered the sound of buzzing wings increasing as the changeling swarm reformed.

Sometime later, Bon Bon heard, “That’s fifteen minutes, Bones.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done. Would you apply that rhythmic pressure above my withers again, please, Jolene?”

“You betcha, you cute thang!” The human gripped and wiggled the mare’s cheeks. “You’re even cuter than your marefriend. Ah’m gonna call you Squishy Junior!”

Bon Bon smiled. “OK”





The next morning, Lyra straightened her green jacket. She counted the forms on her clipboard: four, just like the last two times she checked. The unicorn next inspected the curious metal quill that humans used … what was it called? … oh, yes … a Fountain Pen. She had rejected the Bic Pen as too flimsy and the clickity-clicky Ballpoint Pen as being altogether too addictive. That left her with a familiar writing instrument, though with the ink hidden cleverly inside.

A below-average height Canterlot changeling came up and hugged her. “Have a great first day, Miss Heartstrings!”

The unicorn gave him a nuzzle. “Thanks, Femur. I feel like a million bits today!”

“Must be all that good luck rubbing off our chitin!”

“Hey, I got more than enough from the first dozen to wish me luck!”

The bug pony waved and went through the portal to Baltimare. For her part, Lyra willed herself to be patient …

…

… though it was harder than she thought. Maybe she should have held onto that super-clicky pen after all. Surely the other ponies and buggies around wouldn’t mind her playing with it.

Just then, her first assignment stepped through the Houston portal. The unicorn trotted up to the human mare and gave her a beaming smile.

“Good morning, Ms. Van Dijk. My name is Lyra Heartstrings and I’m with…” The unicorn couldn’t help herself and danced a quick jig. “… Human Relations. May I have a few moments of your time to gather some ergonomic data?”


# # # # # # # # #

> An Uncomfortable Truth
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although I was a Prince of Equestria and my home was Canterlot Castle, my true home-away-from-home was Ponyville.  While it could not match the grandeur and beautiful architecture of the capital city poised magically on the side of a mountain, Ponyville had a heart and soul that no other town could evoke.  I loved coming here to visit friends or just let my mane down among the citizens of this unusual place.  Where else in the empire could I go and be just one of the ponies? A place where the citizens barely blink at the weird happenings this place attracted?  Not referring to myself, of course.

Case in point – today I was spending time with the newest member of my herd. Since returning to Equestria from a parallel universe, Celestia had been taking advantage of her release from ruling responsibilities to enjoy life in a manner she had been unable to do for centuries. Much of the time lately, she spent exploring places both ancient and new in the company of Daring Do.  However, whenever the pegasus had completed one of her expeditions, she returned to Equestria to write yet another novel under her pseudonym of A.K. Yearling.  Celestia, meanwhile, would catch up with the herd, and in particular, with her stallion. Which was ironic because, just for giggles, we were spending this day in Ponyville as twins.

I was in my Marklestia form and we were both wearing outfits out of my wardrobe designed by Rarity that she classified as casual street wear. However, if you knew my fashionista wife, her idea of casual was never anything less than awesome.  In my case, pants and a jacket of different shades of blue denim covered a tight-fitting black bodysuit.  For Celestia, a tropical sarong complemented a tightly striped black and white crop top.  The straw sunhat and wraparound sunglasses completed her look.  Because both garments covered our cutie marks, we had fun getting the citizens to try to guess which one of us was the real deal. Admittedly, because the locals were very familiar with me turning up in my alter ego, they could usually pick me due to my speech patterns, but if I kept my mouth shut and Celestia play-acted a little, half the time they would guess wrong.

Celestia and I enjoyed these moments together, just the two of us.  Even my ever-present bodyguard, Penumbra, conceded that I was safe enough in the presence of the most powerful alicorn in Equus, and she left us to ourselves.  It allowed Celestia to truly relax and enjoy her life as she had not been able to while ruling Equestria by herself for centuries.  Now, she took every opportunity to wring the most fun out of every day, not to mention making up for lost time in the bedroom!  Between talking with the Ponyvillians, we chatted about what had been happening during her latest absence.  The most recent subject of interest was the Luna from the time-loop universe.

“So, how does my other-universe sister fare with her suit?” the alabaster alicorn inquired.

I grinned.  “As a matter of fact, I took Loopy on a picnic last weekend.  Afterward, we gambolled in the fields and just enjoyed some time together.  Penny stayed unobtrusively out of sight, so Loopy got to be herself.  She’s gradually learning to relax and forget about the formality that is expected of being a noble princess.  You know how I hate that stuff and only put up with it during official duties, so if she expects to ever join our herd, she needs to be Luna the mare and not Luna the diarch.”



Celestia gave me an amused look.  “Has she stopped asking to have your foal then?”

“Oh, heck no!  She still asks every visit.  However, I think she’s been doing it lately as evidence of her commitment to her desire, and not as an indication of over-eagerness.  I think she will appreciate and love the foal more when she and I know each other better.”

“So, you’ve already decided to add her to your herd?” Celestia asked with a smirk.

I gave the smug alicorn a flat look.  “Do you seriously think I will ultimately have any choice?  If Trixie hasn’t knocked her back by now, it’s never going to happen.  Luna will persist until she’s so much part of the herd that I might as well formalize it.”

Celestia giggled.  “Keep this up and you’re going to have to add a stallion to balance things out.”

I stopped walking and gaped at her.  “Are you seriously suggesting that’s an option?  I’ve never heard of that being done.  How does that even work?”

“I only know that it happened back when I was still a youth.  The practice fell out of favor but was never made illegal. If any herds do that nowadays, they’re discreet about their relationships.  I certainly made no effort to investigate it despite what some romance novels might have said.”

We resumed walking.  “Well, I can’t see that happening.  Hypothetically speaking, though, who could we ask to join us?  They’d have to be extremely familiar with the family to even get a hoof in the door!”

“Someone like your valet, for example?” Celestia asked with an innocent smile.

“Steady Flight?  Oh, you’ve got to be trolling me!”

Judging by her impish grin and lack of response, I guessed she had to be. Right?

We were interrupted by a group of mares just then, so I didn’t get to push further.  When we parted ways with them, Celestia reckoned that she felt thirsty, so we headed for Sugarcube Corner for refreshments.  I decided to let the subject drop, denying my herdmate another opportunity to bait me.

We ordered our drinks from Pinkie who didn’t even hesitate before identifying us correctly.  We found ourselves a table for two in the corner and sat down.  A booth would have been preferable but they could not accommodate alicorns of our stature.  However, as it was not a rush hour, empty tables next to us granted a degree of privacy. It didn’t take long for Pinkie to bring out our thick shakes in gigantic glasses, and our conversation lapsed while we drank thirstily.

I sighed in satisfaction as Celestia slurped the last of her delightfully delicious dairy drink.  “Y’know, it boggled me when I first learned that the cows here were sapient and were all in the business of selling their milk and other dairy products.  It still puzzles me a bit.”

Celestia lifted a questioning eyebrow.  “Why would you think that?  It’s a logical profession.”

“Aside from the fact that they’re single-minded about it and not one of them ever considers any other job, I wonder how they exist at all.  Back on Earth, dairy cows were specifically bred to give them very large udders and high milk-producing capabilities.  Trying to do the same to a sapient species would be considered an illegal eugenics program.  And then there’s the fact that there are plenty of non-sapient cattle in this world.  Griffons both hunt wild cattle and raise herds of them for their meat.  If those cattle were the base for the breeding program, how did they end up sapient?  They aren’t the brightest species, and they don’t seem to care about anything beyond a grassy paddock and a barn with hay in the winter, but they can hold a conversation, even if only about dairy farm-related matters, so they aren’t mindless cattle.  Why, in this world of so many civilization-building sapient species, are they the only ones with no ambition to further their lives and are so single-minded about their work?”

Celestia’s face darkened.  “There’s a reason why they are so.”

When the alicorn said nothing more, I prompted her.  “Well?  What is it? You can’t leave me hanging like this.”

She sighed.  “You’re not going to like it.”

“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know.”

“Very well.  This goes back to before the tribes were united, before I was even born.  In those times, cow milk was a scarce and prized product.  It was hard to acquire cows back then.  You always ran the risk of attracting the attention of the griffons and other predators. They obviously required the cattle for their own needs and had no sympathy for our desire for just their milk. Then, one day, a unicorn mage perfected a spell that would transform wild cattle into docile dairy cows.  Milk production quadrupled virtually overnight.”

“And this made them intelligent too?” I asked in a sceptical tone.

“Not at all.  It made them complacent and interested only in being milked when their udders were full. That was the entire mental effect of the transformation.”

“Not seeing what’s so bad yet.  It’s virtually a magical version of a breeding program.”

Celestia grimaced.  “If that’s as far as it ever went, it would have been fine.  However, demand for the milk increased faster than the supply, and there was a need to increase the herds.  The transformation process could only produce females, so there were no dairy bulls to breed more cows, so they had to try to get more of the wild cattle. But, as I mentioned earlier, that angered the griffons who stepped up attacks on ponies trying to get hold of the cattle that they considered their own.  That’s when the truly horrible solution was proposed.  As I said, this was before Unification, and fights between the tribes were common.  Captured enemies were frequently kept as slaves.  Somepony suggested that they could be put to better use.”

I gasped and stared at Celestia.  “They didn’t…?”

My herdmate nodded sadly.  “Yes, they did.  It doesn’t say much for the state of civilization back then that they so readily agreed to try turning their captive and rebellious ponies into docile dairy cows. Sadly, it worked.  It not only made them complacent but dulled their minds. They could still talk, but they rapidly lost interest in conversing.”

“That’s horrible!”

“It was, but worse could happen to enslaved ponies than a sheltered lifetime of supplying milk, so it was ironically regarded as an equane way of dealing with their enemies.  As all the transformed wild cattle eventually died, they were replaced entirely by transformed ponies.  And because those cows lived far longer, ponies did not have to risk their lives so often to get more wild cattle.  They only occasionally brought back a bull because they wanted to breed calves to increase their herds.  Transforming captives only ended with Unification and knowledge of the spell eventually died too. But to this day, dairy cows still need to get in bulls in order to have calves.  Now, though, the cows pay for the services of a stud bull from the griffon herds with the bits that they make from selling their milk.”

“So, every sapient cow in Equestria is descended from a transformed pony,” I summed up.  “Suddenly, I’m not interested in milkshakes anymore.”

Celestia reached over to lay her hoof on mine.  “You will live long enough to hear much worse from our past.  I know – I lived through much of it.  My sister and I worked hard to civilize the tribes well after Unification.  There were many ponies who weren’t willing to let the past go.  You can’t afford to do that.  Learn from it and move forward.  You, Trixie, and Twilight have done so much to bring peace and prosperity to this world since taking the reins of power, but there’s still much to accomplish. When you encounter uncomfortable truths like this one, you must be prepared to deal with them and not let them make you bitter.”  She let go of me, grabbed her glass, and got to her hooves.  “I, for one, intend to have another shake.  This one was delicious.”

I snorted as I smothered a laugh.  “As if anything would stop you from getting your sweets.  Even looking like you, I can’t match your appetite for them.”

Celestia returned with two shakes, albeit smaller ones than our firsts. Putting one in front of me, she raised her glass to me and said, “A toast to our future herdmate, Loopy Luna.”

I chuckled and clinked my glass to hers, before starting to drink.

“And to your future husband, Steady Flight!” she added.

I snorted milkshake out my nose.  Dammit, Trollestia!


# # # # # # # # #

> All Hallows Eve
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

October 31st: All Hallows’ Eve, Halloween, or here in Equestria, Nightmare Night. Mark had to admit he sometimes wondered at the coincidence that these two oddly similar holidays occurred on the same day in both worlds. Even so, after years of running a nation of magical ponies and other beings plus being a father several times over, he just chucked the question into his mental closet next to the box marked “Pinkie Pie Mysteries” and left it at that.

A month before the holiday, Chrysalis proposed a break from the now-traditional Canterlot Castle scavenger hunt for foals: instead, turn part of the castle into a haunted house. Given the size of the place, Mark didn’t see a problem sectioning off a portion of the castle for a few days to make it happen. It was only after work had started that he realized he had been suckered. Yolanda came with a “small change” concerning the already-started project.

Yolanda requested a portal disguised as an exterior door of one of Phil and Rosa’s warehouses. This would be linked to the Equestria haunted house. Before I could voice my objections, Penumbra laid out a plan to prevent any potential issues. Twilight would set up a magic dampening field to interfere with electronic devices like cameras. A changeling guard at both the entrance and exit would keep count of the number of people who entered and left. Rosa would acquire several wireless security cameras and install them in hidden locations. Shining Armor was already working on a custom shield spell to allow them to operate in the dampening field. That explained his interest in the topic at our families’ informal dinner the previous week. This also cemented my suspicions that, once again, I was outflanked and fighting a rear-guard action. I was the last pony to learn about the plans the rest of my herd had in motion for weeks. Some things never change.

My questions established that contingencies were already in place for this very well-thought-out event. Seeing that I was the last holdout, I decided to give in gracefully.

For the next few weeks, I was left to my own devices as Yolanda, Trixie, Chrysalis, and Penumbra set up castle corridors as a haunted house with every prank and stage illusion they could manage.

Trixie’s beaming smile and boundless energy told me in more than words how much she was enjoying herself. These days she seldom got to make much use of her illusion magic that used to be her stock in trade. The occasional show for the family foals and at hospital children’s wards fundraisers kept her in practice but I could tell she missed the challenge of a new performance. Trixie took charge of disguising the portal with a millimeter-thick illusion on either side that showed the area beyond. She also took charge of the attached large atrium of the haunted house. Trixie would greet those entering and, after giving some stage setup, give the guests three paths of scariness to choose from.

My wife’s first decree was that every non-changeling who interacted with the guests would pass through a pair of interdimensional portals to take on an anthropomorphic form. With some application of makeup, shoes to cover up hooves, and dim lighting, the resulting anthro-ponies wouldn’t look out of place.

The exception was Caleb Awad, of course. He turned down the opportunity to change to an anthropomorphic form, despite the teasing of his wives. He played the part of a severed head in a basket on a table that would suddenly come to life and scare the bejeebers out of any that came close.  An illusion hid the still-attached human body under the table, leaving nothing but empty to space to mystify, and perhaps horrify, the visitors.

Penumbra saw this as a chance to flex her prank-master muscles as well as oversee security.

It took me a while to figure out why Chrysalis had been brought in to help with the project. One aspect stemmed from her friendship with Rosa and wanting to help her do something for Yolanda. The Martine’s daughter was still recovering from Ivana’s betrayal following their visit to Equestria. Ivana had been cold and hostile towards Yolanda whenever the two encountered each other. I understood that the harassment on social media reached the point that Phil had spoken to the company lawyer on two occasions. Perhaps because our law firm was more prestigious (and expensive) than Mr. Kalchik’s, Ivana was on her best behavior afterward… for a week or so.

The second aspect stemmed from her former role as queen of the Crystal Hive. A few of her old subjects got Thorax’s consent to petition her for a bit of help. While they were all happy with their current arrangement, these changelings, for lack of a better term, had slightly odd palettes. While love was the chief diet of a changeling, other emotions gave different flavors. These particular changelings were rather fond of the feeling of fear, which Mark learned is different from abject terror which was completely unpalatable. The fear that one might feel before a drop on a roller coaster was, according to Sally, similar to how some liked spicy or sour foods. The brief thrill of fear was quickly followed by relief resulting in an intense euphoria brought about by feel-good endorphins and dopamine. Empathically sharing this experience made these changelings want Nightmare Night to last year-round.

Thus far they had been satisfying themselves by providing their services as thespians that could play a great Nightmare Moon on Nightmare Night. While Luna attended celebrations for Ponyville and Canterlot, changeling stand-ins went to a few other select towns. The cities were chosen by lottery to be fair, though Luna did receive the occasional petition by townsfoals, with corresponding candy bribes. While her sister was certainly a cake-aholic, the size of some of the sacks I had seen Luna sneaking back into the castle after Nightmare Night made me think both sisters shared the trait of a sweet tooth.

Changelings knew they could only go so far with a group of foals as their audience. Human teenagers, however, actively sought out scary experiences. Chrysalis instructed these changelings regarding the threshold via the human concept of creepypasta. That left them salivating at the prospect of helping with the Martine’s haunted house. As a result, a dozen changelings volunteered to fill the roles of various ghosts and ghouls. As an extra benefit, the actors could sense how far to take the scares with each patron. Changelings would direct them down paths that had varying degrees of scariness or give them a bit of a needed rest to calm down.

Of course, despite all of the planning, unexpected problems were bound to crop up. In this case, the problem had a name: Ivana Kalchik.





When the evening of Nightmare Night finally came, I was finishing off some paperwork. With Twilight attending festivities in Ponyville and Trixie overseeing the illusions at the start of the haunted house, one of us had to polish off the day’s work. That’s when Penumbra and Chrysalis entered my office. Penumbra nodded to Buried Spear, letting him know she was taking over protective duties. After he left the office, she frowned.

“We have an issue. As it involves our haunted house guests from Earth, I came to consult with you.”

I put down my quill and waited for Penumbra to give me the details.

“Ivana Kalchik has used Yolanda’s haunted house as a way to break her exile from Equestria. I don’t know if that was her original intention. Perhaps she just meant to ruin the Martine’s event. I believe she realized very quickly after her arrival where it was actually located. Security guards have repeatedly stopped her from exiting the area and into the castle proper. One was familiar with Ivana’s scent from her visit and positively identified her. After they informed me, I watched her act suspiciously on the security cameras.”

I cocked my head. “How was she acting suspiciously?”

“She is ignoring all the stations we set up for our guests, instead working the periphery of the area. Ivana is acting very irate at her cell phone’s lack of response, so we can assume that Twilight’s dampening field is operating as intended.”

I nodded, thankful for that small mercy, while also mentally kicking myself for not considering that Ivana would try a stunt like this and informing the guards to deny her entry.

“Any recommendations on how to resolve this? I assume we can’t count on her giving up and leaving.”

Penumbra shook her head, “Doubtful. When I left to inform you, it looked like Ivana may have switched tactics to trying to find a place to hide. She either hopes to sneak into the castle after the event has ended or to cause problems for Phil and Rosa by disappearing in their haunted house attraction.”

Sally sighed. “Tossing the unruly child into my old cell for defying her exile, while appropriate, is not an option at this time.”

I winced, “I can see that father of hers throwing kidnapping or some other charges at us if she fails to emerge from the haunted house by night’s end. If he gets a subpoena for the police to force their way into the empty warehouse where the haunted house is supposed to be, I don’t want to think about the can of worms that will open. Any recommendations for a Plan B?”

Penumbra and Chrysalis exchanged a look and then both of their muzzles split into fang-filled grins that were quite appropriate for the holiday. If I didn’t know them as well as I did, I might have run in fear at that look on their faces and even more the twinkle of mischief in their eyes.

“My padawan, we wouldn’t have come here without an… unorthodox idea… or two. Chrysalis asked three of the changeling performers to take on additional roles tonight. They must have seen her mood because they agreed without knowing any details.”

Chrysalis’ grin somehow grew wider – I suspected with a minor transformation. “Yolanda is respected and l-l-l… appreciated by every changeling of every hive. It’s only natural for them to want revenge on the girl who betrayed her trust.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You meant ‘It’s only natural for them to want just, non-permanent payback,’ didn’t you?”

Sally waved a hoof. “Yes, yes. I’m sure that was what I said.” At my continued stare, she added, “Shall we tell you about ‘Plan B’?”

With these two working together, it almost made me feel sorry for Ivana. When I learned whom my herdmates planned to bring in as consultants, I shuddered. I almost told them it was too much.

Almost.





Ivana continued to skulk around the dimly lit halls looking for a place where she could hide.

She had thought tonight would simply be a chance to ruin Yolanda’s haunted house. Her “Ghost Face” costume and mask got her past the clueless muscle at the entrance. She hadn’t anticipated her good fortune of finding herself back in Equestria and didn’t plan to squander the opportunity. This was her chance to bring back conclusive proof. That would force the Martines to give her anything she wanted in return for keeping their little secret.

She noticed a door hidden behind a standing casket with a vampire hanging out of it. The prop moved realistically when she tried to squeeze past, eliciting a pang of fear. The figure didn’t move on its own or breathe, letting her exhale and pay attention to the door. It opened inward, letting her enter a storeroom filled with decorations that didn’t make it into the haunted house. After closing the door, Ivana slipped inside a wardrobe and slid down behind a curtain of dresses on hangers.

She settled in to wait for the event to end. Whatever was keeping her cell phone from working would likely be turned off and she could collect video evidence to go with whatever else she could snag as physical proof. Ivana began to yawn as she found a more comfortable position to lie in the wardrobe.





“Hiya, Uncle Mark!”

Hugs came from four different directions, sandwiching the alicorn stallion. Moments later, he felt fingers scratch along his mane from between his ears to the base of his neck. That’s also when he noticed four sets of breasts pressed up against him by the tall females. “Howdy, girls. Should I be concerned when the Cutie Mark Crusaders reconvene and I’m in the middle?”

Laughter surrounded Mark as the hands pulled back. Four grinning mares lined up in front of him, all in anthropomorphic form. Mark noted that the ceiling in the impromptu haunted house security station was just tall enough for their stature, which he estimated to be close to six feet. Scootaloo spoke for the rest. “Oh, no. You’re not the one who should be worried.” She turned her head to the midnight blue alicorn on her left. “Do you have it?”

“Sure do,” said Nyx. With a flourish, she produced a cell phone. Mark could see part of the text on the protective case: @IvanaGreatAndP…

Applebloom tilted her head. “Ya got the hoofprint thingy or passcode?”

“Gimme,” said Sweetie Belle as her horn lit. She floated the phone away from Nyx and in front of a passing changeling. “Femur! Ivana Kalchik’s face and voice, please.”

The drone stopped and tapped his chin while gazing up and to the left. With a smile, he looked forward as green flames engulfed his head. When they died away, a perfect copy of Ivana’s head and hairstyle rested on the changeling’s body. Mark shivered and thought to himself that this was easily the most unsettling thing he had seen all night.

Femur beamed. “Am I a Nightmare Night Witch or a Halloween—”

Mark saw the screen change just as Sweetie Belle pulled the phone away. “That did it! Thanks, Femur.”

With another gout of flame, the changeling restored his appearance to normal. “Glad to help!” He took a half step before stopping himself. “Wait. How did you know it was me?”

He might as well have been talking to a brick wall. All four mares huddled around the phone.

“Latest O/S, so no jailbreakin’,” said Applebloom while she absent-mindedly fiddled with the red bow that held her hair back.

“That still leaves us with plenty of options,” said Scootaloo.

Mark smiled. “Oh, so you’re going to change her password?”

This was answered with four identical looks that he recognized instantly. Even the number was familiar.

He sighed and turned around. “I’ll stop making suggestions regarding things I know nothing about. And I’ll leave the experts to their work.” He waved a hoof before trotting away. “Call me if you need me.”





Ivana started awake as the wardrobe felt like it had dropped, she wasn’t sure when she had nodded off or for how long. Reaching around in the dark, she found her cell phone and checked it. Still not working. She had no way to know what time it was. The girl bit back a curse, remembering that she was trying to be stealthy.

Before Ivana had a chance to do anything further, the wardrobe pitched forward, spilling her out onto marble flooring. Dozens of mirrors in every frame imaginable lined the plain stone walls. Captain Penumbra and Queen Chrysalis stood before her.

The bug pony gave an unfriendly smile before speaking. “Ah, Miss Ivana. A pleasure to see you again on this fine Nightmare Night. I trust you’ve been well.”

Ivana sneered as she scrambled to her feet. She tore off her mask and threw it to the side. “I told you I’d be back; you can’t keep what's mine from me.”

The two ponies exchanged looks, then Penumbra spoke, “You are under the mistaken impression that we’re going to send you back home. Have you forgotten you were exiled? There are consequences for you returning.”

“I had no idea that the haunted house was going to land me in Equestria and violate the exile that doesn’t apply to me because I am a US citizen.”

Chrysalis broke in. “The second part of your argument is specious but the first is … feasible. Rather than debate the legal niceties, we’ve decided to, in keeping with the spirit of Nightmare Night and Halloween, give a chance for either a treat or a trick.”

Chrysalis pointed to a corner of the room where two standing mirrors stood apart from the others. “One of those mirrors leads back to Earth and one leads to a dimension ruled by terrible monsters. An even chance! Far more than you have given Yolanda since your last visit. Whichever you pick will be where you’ll stay forever.”

Ivana peered at the mirrors. Both were identical down to the Walmart sticker on each.

“You’re bluffing. You can’t afford to have me disappear in the Martine’s haunted house. My father will force the police to search every square inch of your business and house. Keeping this place secret from Earth would be impossible.” Ivana pointed the hand holding her phone at Chrysalis and sneered. “Give it up. You lose.”

With a flash of green magic from her horn, Chrysalis sent the phone flying toward her. One gout of green fire later, an identical copy of Ivana stood in the changeling queen’s place. The phone ricocheted, off her outstretched hand and bounced off the floor. The smile on her face looked much more like Chrysalis than Ivana. “Oopsie. Well, too bad if I broke it. That’s fine. Daddy will get me a new one.”

Ivana balled her fists and glared as her doppelganger continued. “Oh, you won’t be missed at all. I guarantee your father will be overjoyed. His daughter finally applying herself to schoolwork and taking an interest in the family business. Decades of infiltration experience will make me the perfect scion. My business acumen will allow him to retire sooner than he had ever dared hope. Trust me – after a month, he won’t think twice about choosing me over you even if he learned the truth.”

That left Ivana blinking. Before she could formulate a response, Chrysalis had picked up the phone and briefly showed its unlocked screen to her. How had she done that?

Chrysalis leaned down to show the phone to Penumbra as she spoke. “Let’s suppose you choose the wrong door. With this gift you so thoughtfully provided, it will be even easier to impersonate you, my dear. And if you choose the correct door, you’ll have this phone returned to you … in time. Oh, and look at these posts under these Snapchat and Instagram accounts – all of them trolling and badmouthing Yolanda. If it was known you were the source, how much trouble would you be in?”

Ivana made a running grab for the phone but her clone threw it in the air. Penumbra immediately jumped up, grabbed the phone in her mouth, and hovered out of reach.

Chrysalis placed her feet shoulder-width apart and relaxed her arms at her sides. “Now choose, Ivana: door number one or number two. Choose carefully.”

Ivana fumed inside, then decided she was not about to be told what to do. She ignored the two offered portals and jumped through the closest one – flipping her two middle fingers as she did so.

Chrysalis returned to her natural form as Penumbra landed. The batpony hoofed over the cell phone along with a gold bit. The changeling queen smiled. “I told you she would ignore those two and jump right.”

Penumbra nodded, “I suppose you do know spoiled brats better having been one for so long yourself.”

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “As our husband says, ‘You just got a tally mark on your list, buster.’” This elicited a joyful grin from the batpony.

Penumbra said, “I hope she enjoys her visit to that dimension that we set up for her. I know I did. I’m counting on the chance to meet her again. I’m dying to see how she’d react to me telling her the two mirrors she passed up both led back to Earth.”





Ivana landed with a thud into a nearly pitch-black room. She fumbled around for a moment, knocking into the mirror she came through. A second later, she heard the shattering of glass. She reached into her bag and brought out a flashlight. Before she could turn it on, torches set around the room sparked to life in a slow sequence, casting an eerie green glow from their flames. The walls of the wide room showed torn tapestries and banners. Looking up, Ivana saw broken windows high on the walls. A few scattered stars in a cloudless sky cast dim light into the area.

“Please remind me to thank the alicorn for offering us such fine prey for our sport this Nightmare Night.”

Ivana froze at the sound of those words. The voice grated like the grinding of rocks. As the line of torches lit more of the far side of the chamber, her vision cleared. She could see three thrones where monsters sat. Upon the central one was what looked like the jet-black skeleton of a bug pony with glowing green eyes. Dark oil dripped from the holes throughout its body. To its left rested what appeared to be an earth pony but its eyes glowed red and its grin revealed razor-sharp fangs. The last was a large horse made up of swirling dark water. Droplets constantly flew away from it.

Ivana stood and gripped her flashlight until the whites of her knuckles could be seen. “I demand to be returned to Equestria immediately … no, to Earth!”

The three laughed, and then the bug pony spoke again. “My dear, it doesn’t matter what you want. Your Equestrian ruler Celestia has no authority here.”

The water-pony turned its head to the center throne. Its voice came out like a high-pitched whistle. “Wasn’t it overthrown recently? Aren’t there new rulers?”

The demonic earth pony growled, “Doesn’t matter. The old treaty still applies.”

Ivana stamped a foot. “I don’t recognize your authority over me any more than I recognize any of the so-called Triarchs. I am an American citizen. The laws of Equestria don’t mean squat to me.”

“Ah, so you will also understand why the laws and rights of your ‘Earth’ and ‘A-mare-rig-ah’ don’t apply here. All that matters is the ancient pact we made with the Princess after her sister’s fall. You see, the white alicorn would occasionally exile criminals of… particular crimes to us on this night. But that’s not here or there or elsewhere. The fact is, you really should be running.”

Ivana gulped, suddenly feeling far less sure of her safety. She took a step back. “Running?”

The bug pony smiled as it stood in stages. Its joints popped with each movement. “Yes, running. You see on this night, Equestria offers us prey to hunt – a condemned criminal. If we fail to catch them before sun up, they are pardoned of all crimes and returned. If we do catch them, then we all have a good meal of sinew, bone, and soul. No matter the outcome, Equestria is left with a vacant cell in its prisons.”

Ivana’s irises shrank despite the dim lighting. “Ah … how … how many have been pardoned?”

The water pony splashed its way to the bottom of its throne. It put a forehoof into its chin as if in thought. “Hmm … over the past thousand years, you would be the first.”

“Don’t give up before you even start,” said the demonic pony. The arms of its throne melted into lava as he used his forehooves to push himself upwards. He walked unsteadily on his hind legs toward the human. “Your race is unknown to us. Doubtless, you will prove to be faster than ponies.”

Ivana took off at a sprint, squeezing through the tiny gap between the ajar doors to the throne room with the sound of laughter and the fading final words of the bug pony echoing behind her.

“To be fair, you have a five-minute head start! Please try to make it interesting for us, little snack!”





Ivana gulped for air as she tried to catch her breath. She had run through what seemed an endless series of identical hallways. All her attempts to open doors had found them locked. The clopping and splashing sounds of her pursuers were always just that little bit behind and out of sight. It was clear they were making no real effort to catch up, instead enjoying the chase.

Finally, pushing on a door showed a bit of give to it. Trying again, Ivana was able to shove it open a little further. With a desperate heave, she got it open far enough to fall inside.

She was in some kind of cavern. The sound of coarse laughter from her left filled her ears. She pointed her flashlight at the source, revealing a skeletal pony with glowing yellow flames for eyes. Green slime dripped from its mouth as it laughed.

“Oh my. It’s been so long since my last meal. I’m all skin and bones! It will be good to put your meat back on them.”

A pair of tear-filled bat wings spread from its side as it crouched on its ledge. Ivana shuffled backward as it lunged toward her. She screamed and covered her eyes.

Her terror-fueled backpedal changed to the sensation of falling. Ivana landed on a grass lawn, a doorway with a shining “EXIT” sign above it in her view. A heavy industrial door slammed shut with an air of finality.

Teenagers in costumes stared at her – their attention drawn by her screams of terror that cut off when Ivana hit the ground. It took her another second to realize she was back on Earth at the exit of the haunted mansion. She sprang to her feet and rushed towards the door, finding it locked. She ran as fast as she could to the haunted house entrance, intent to get back to Equestria. She found the guard gone and the door shut and locked with a sign reading ‘CLOSED’ hung on it. More people stared as Ivana screamed in frustration, but she didn’t care.

“Excuse me, did you drop this?”

Ivana stopped pounding the door. She snatched her phone from the busty teenage girl dressed as Wonder Woman and stalked away. Holding her face up to the light and the phone at arm’s length produced a long and loud fart sound as it unlocked. Ivana barely heard the noise as she stared at the screen in horror. She swiped left and right.

“No! Every single icon is the Poop Emoji? And every app is called ‘I’m Poopy’?! What. The. Fuck?!”

She opened icon after icon, producing a different flatulence sound with about half of her attempts. The other guesses opened random applications that were familiar. This encouraged her to continue the symphony of farts.





In the haunted house security station, Mark turned away from the monitor and speakers showing the entertainment outside. Everyone present was back in their pony form. To his left, the four Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at the screen. Nyx said, “Wait for it.”





The arrival of the first Instagram message allowed Ivana to open that app immediately. When she did, she stopped cold. “No. No, no, no, no!”





Applebloom said, “Seems Miss Ivana had a change of heart tonight. Her Snapchat an’ Instagram posts have been a might bit more interestin’.”

Sweetie Belle smiled in a way that reminded Mark of Rarity in a very bad mood. “ ’I think guys who aren’t handsome have the best personalities. I love when they ask me out!’ ”

Scootaloo said, “ ’A little flab makes me feel safe because it reminds me of my dad.’ ‘So is roadkill the most environmentally friendly choice of meat or what?’ ”

Nyx cleared her throat. “ ‘I want everyone to let me know when I’m being mean and call me out on it.’ ‘For all of my fans out there that treat others like shit, just go away. I don’t want to hear from you ever again.’ ”

Chrysalis nudged Penumbra who smiled. “That was one of mine.”

“One of?” asked Mark as he looked back at the monitor.





Ivana’s fingers flew across the keyboard. “No! No! No! I never said that! … Wait … Why did it change to ‘I totally said that’?!” She began to breathe heavily. “No! No! I did not type ‘I really meant every word.’ Stupid fucking phone!”





Sweetie Belle said, “Settings, General, Keyboard, Text Replacement.”





After another minute of heavy panting and frantic typing, Ivana threw her phone into the metal entrance door again and again. After it was well and truly broken, she let out a primal scream.





Mark shuddered. “Remind me to never get you four angry at me.”

Chrysalis wrapped her husband in a hug. “Which four specifically, my husband? Do you not appreciate the efforts of myself and my senior herdmate? We are unlikely to simply accept this affront without proper compensation.”

The alicorn stallion shifted and ran his hooves on the insides of the changeling’s elbows. With a gasp, she pulled back. “Are you mad? You can’t show these four where I’m ticklish!” Four mares swiveled their ears in Mark’s direction. Now that the object of their attention had been dealt with, perhaps a new target was in order.

Mark chuckled. “Why don’t you just tell me what you want, dear.” He nodded to Penumbra. “Dears.”

The four Cutie Mark Crusaders moved closer like a chimera seizing up a wounded prey. Chrysalis showed her fangs on his right. From his left, Penumbra carefully wrapped Mark in a wing hug and likewise bared her fangs. “This was a blast. We all want the chance to outdo ourselves next year.”

The sheer intensity of the feral grins around him made Mark cave almost instantly. “Y-You’ve got my vote.”


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Monday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was awakened by the stirring of one of my bedmates.  I opened my eyes and turned my head to see a white unicorn with a disheveled purple mane gazing fondly down at me.  Even with a bad case of bedhead, she was still the picture of elegance.

“Sorry to disturb you, darling, but I must prepare myself for a busy morning.”  Rarity leaned down to give me a kiss on the cheek before getting off our bed and heading for the bathroom.  The fashionista always spent extra time ensuring that she looked perfect before starting her day, so she got up before most of us.  However, she was never the first.

Looking around, I saw that Penumbra was absent from our herd-size bed as usual. My bodyguard wife made it her mission to be on duty before I got up.  How she always managed to get out of the bed without disturbing me remained a mystery because I was a light sleeper.

Celestia had been away on one of her jaunts for the past couple of weeks, so that just left my first wife and dearest companion under the covers with me.  If Chrysalis was still in her sleeping nest at the foot of the bed, she made no indication.  That gave me a little private time with Trixie, and I gently nibbled on her neck.

The blue alicorn groaned before turning over to look at me with mild irritation.  “Can’t you let Trixie sleep in for once, Dowser?”

“You have the morning shift for Day Court, love.  No time to dawdle.”  I kissed her on the lips before she could complain, and she quickly responded. After a long and satisfying exchange of affection, she drew back with a smile.  My darling was frequently grumpy when she woke, but I had found out long ago that her mood would quickly improve with moments like these.

Trixie got to her hooves and jumped off the bed.  She then stretched her limbs, including her wings, in a manner similar to cats while I watched in admiration.  When she finished, she smirked at me and said, “I expect that you will take your own advice and not go back to sleep while I freshen up.”  She then headed for the bathroom, nodding to someone unseen. “Good morning, Chrysalis.”

“Good morning, Lead Mare,” came the reply.  Seconds later, I saw the changeling queen rise and walk over to the side of the bed.  “I shall go feed our nymphs that delightful love now, husband.”  I moved over to meet her.

“Here’s a little more,” I said before I kissed her.

Chrysalis had a faint smile on her face as she left the room that, for her, was quite an overt display of pleasure.  My bug queen’s day was off to a good start.  Speaking of which, I needed to do the same.

My valet and best pony friend, Steady Flight, entered the bedroom just as I rolled off the bed, apparently let in by Chrysalis as she headed for our hive. She normally did that if my wives were up already and the stallion wouldn’t walk in at some awkward moment.  I greeted him with a grin.

“Good morning, Mark,” Steady said as he laid a freshly laundered royal vest on my bed with his agile wing.  “Ready for another week of ruling an empire?”

“As ready as ever,” I replied as I walked over to the dresser.  I picked up a brush in my magic to start taming my mane.

Steady used a currycomb to get my coat into shape while I was occupied with my hair.  “I have good news.  Celestia arrived at the castle a short time ago.  She will see you at breakfast.”

“That’s great news,” I replied.  “I’m looking forward to hearing what she got up to during her latest trip.”

“I’ll bet that’s not all you’ll be anticipating,” Steady said with a sly grin.

I gave him a light clip over the ears with a wing.  “Mind out of the bedroom… especially in my bedroom!”

He just chuckled knowingly.  He was not too wrong after all.  Eventually, he finished with my coat and my mane was no longer a disaster.  I donned my vest and, when my wives were finished in the bathroom, I completed my morning routine.

We all headed out for breakfast, joined at the entrance to our quarters by Penny.  I bade good morning to the Royal Guards stationed there before we made our way to the dining room.  Celestia was already seated there, but she got up and came over to give me a kiss and hugs for her herdmates.

“How went your trip?” I asked as we seated ourselves.

“It was both fun and enlightening,” the sun alicorn replied.  “Torch sends his regards, by the way.”

“How is the old dragon doing?”

“Smugly counting the profits from his bank, as usual,” Celestia replied with a grin.  “I still wish that I had thought of that idea long ago.”

“Never underestimate the power of enlightened self-interest,” I replied.  “Now – what are we having for breakfast today?”

We made small talk as we ate the Zebrican vegetable omelets and muesli yogurt that were the chef’s special for that day, washing it all down with a glass of cider – from Sweet Apple Acres, of course.  Rarity soon made her farewells to head off to Ponyville.  My businessmare wife had a busy week ahead of her and she was eager to get off to an early start.  At least, the permanent portal between there and Canterlot made commuting a breeze.

Trixie was the next to depart for her office, there to consult with her advisor, Raven Inkwell, in preparation for Day Court.  Celestia, Penny, Steady, and I lingered over coffee (or tea in Celly’s case) until Chrysalis returned from her hive and then we all went to my office.

Steady Flight might officially be my valet, but he still did his old Royal Courier job for me, and I had a number of important and confidential missives for him to deliver.  After he departed, my office door was closed with instructions to the changeling secretary that we weren’t to be disturbed except for emergencies.  Then Celestia, Chrysalis, and I got down to serious matters with Penny stationed by the door.

Long before I arrived in Equestria, the Solar Princess had built and maintained an intelligence network that had kept her informed of potential problems both inside and outside the realm.  This had been one of the major factors that had allowed her to successfully rule Equestria for a millennium.  After returning from her long absence, she revived her many connections to assist in our conflict with Grogar.  Once peace had been restored and Celestia had ostensibly gone on holidays or on adventures with Daring Do, many of those jaunts had actually been cover for contacting her agents and recruiting more.  It seemed that the alicorn and retirement simply didn’t mix.

“I am immortal,” she had told me.  “What am I going to do with my time?  I got bored after only a few weeks of vacation.”

So now, she and Chrysalis ran the most sophisticated intelligence and infiltration network in this and several other worlds.  Celestia had started coordinating with many of her counterparts in other universes, as well as a couple of Lunas who had similar networks. Due to the slightly differing timelines, one realm had been able to shut down the future threat of Starlight Glimmer, and for two others, the Storm King.

I began our meeting.  “Have you uncovered any potential threats to our world this time?”

“Not as such,” my alicorn wife replied.  “However, three worlds have brought up rumors of a dark violet alicorn mare with an  off-white and aqua mane and tail.  If it had been only one world, I would have been prepared to dismiss it, but the identical description from three different universes makes this noteworthy.”

“Nothing besides what she looks like?  No hints of where or what she’s up to?” I queried.

“No. The only reliable recent sighting was in the Dragonlands in the former plague dimension.  That’s why I decided to look in on Torch and Dragon Lord Ember to find out if there had been any similar sightings here.  There have been none so far.”

Chrysalis scowled.  “The furtive nature of this alleged alicorn is concerning.  If she truly does exist, why is she concealing her presence?  What is her aspect or affinity?  Why was she spotted in the Dragonlands?  Most importantly, what are her intentions and how do the dragons tie into them?”

“Or is she a recently ascended alicorn who wants nothing to do with ruling and is a recluse?” Celestia added.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes.  “Your ponies adulate alicorns so much that they insist on having them rule, even to the point of turning a blind eye to a fake in the absence of a real one.  At the very least, this hypothetical alicorn could look forward to a life of ease.  Instead, she willfully chooses to stay hidden.  No, you are fooling yourself if you believe that this furtive mare has good intentions.”

“I’m with Chrysalis on this one,” said my batpony mate.

I nodded.  “I’m inclined to agree.  I’ve felt first-hoof the compulsion to lead that came with my ascension. I can’t imagine this alicorn feels differently.  Keep investigating this mare.  If she proves to be a threat, we need to nip her plans in the bud.  If not, at least we’ll be able to set minds at ease.”

Penny’s smile had been growing over the last minute.  I found out why.  “Not just your mind, my apprentice in pranks.  This has the potential to satisfy your other frustrations on the matter.” After everyone turned to face her, she continued.  “You’ve been thoroughly shut down from adding the resident purple alicorn to your growing collection of wives.  Perhaps this is your chance to fill that void in your universe.”

The three mares turned back to look at me, all wearing smug expressions I had seen many times before.

Chrysalis stood up.  “Let me see … something like …” With a blast of green flame, she transformed into a copy of Twilight Sparkle, but with a darker purple coat and differently colored mane and tail.





I ignored her fluttering eyelashes and kissing noises – and the mares’ chuckles – when a thought struck me.  My eyes widened as I looked at Penny.  “You’re suggesting we send a changeling to each of these dimensions so we can replicate her appearance from the eyewitnesses.”  My bodyguard’s smile now showed her fangs.  “But why didn’t you just say that?”

“And miss this chance to discover how must you lust after our co-ruler? Your perceptions, fourth wife?”

“You can always ask me to take this form, my stallion.”  Chrysalis showed off her unlikely hoofcuffs cutie mark and cocked an eyebrow.  “Hmmm…” With a blast of green fire, she returned to her normal form, but with the fake cutie mark still applied. “Considerably less than for my true self, which pleases me greatly.  Also, less ardor than what Twilight feels toward his body.”

Penny and Celestia pointed their muzzles and ears toward Chrysalis. “Really?”

As often happened, this meeting had gone completely off the rails.  I had to get it back on topic.  “If there’s nothing else world-shaking to discuss, let’s get to the mundane.  Is there any more information about the uptick in smuggling operations in Trottingham?” The mares gave each other looks that promised to continue the discussion at a later time. Chrysalis lay down and summarized the results of her investigations.

Princess Gilda had complained about illegal imports into the Griffish Isles impacting her efforts to grow local businesses.  These and other matters were just some of the many concerns that we dealt with constantly to keep up good relations with our allies.  Running an empire certainly wasn’t as simple as sitting on a throne and making regal pronouncements.  Luckily, Trixie, Twilight, and I had an unsurpassed team to support us.  That was more than enough to keep us busy all morning until we broke for lunch.





Trixie told us the highlights of her morning session while we all had a light meal of daisy salad sandwiches, fruit salad, and tea.  Except for Chrysalis who only drank coffee to which she seemed to have become addicted.  To be fair, the castle barista was a master of her trade and was paid accordingly.





“Court is now in session – Prince Mark Wells presiding!” the Sergeant-at-Arms bellowed, silencing the murmur of conversation among the spectators. “First petitioner – step forth!”

And so started my afternoon of audiences with members of the public who wished to petition the crown.  As usual, Chrysalis had already given me a summation of the petitions to be heard this session.  If the Crown intended to come down in favor of the petitioner, we had already started preparations to fulfill that request.  It had the benefit of making the Crown look decisive and swift to act.  Some would be denied despite halfway decent reasons, but that also gave us the opportunity to publicly explain why we were rejecting their plea so that our decision would be seen as fair.  Those who submitted a petition for ridiculous or selfish reasons were generally weeded out before ever getting granted an audience. Sometimes we let one slip in if it had the potential to entertain whoever was presiding and the citizens gathered to watch the proceedings.  This first applicant was a bit of both.

A pink earth pony stallion with a light green mane stepped up to the dais and bowed.  “Your Highness, I am Powder Snow, president of the Canterhorn Skiing Association.  Due to the growing popularity of the sport, we wish to extend our existing ski fields to the south slope to cater to the crowds.  However, the Department of Environment has vetoed our application.  We would like the opportunity to persuade you about the benefits to the economy that could be made with just some small compromises.”

“I see.  Mister Snow – are you aware that it is snowmelt from the southern slopes that feeds the waterfalls that flow into the streams and ponds within Canterlot?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Good.  Then you should know that it is also the source of drinking water for the entire city. The Canterlot weather team works hard to ensure that the right amount of snow is deposited on the peak to sustain the required daily quantity of water for our needs.  The creation of ski slopes, the required weather control, and the infrastructure for your project would affect this balance and inevitably cause pollution issues. The Department of Environment’s decision to reject your application is sensible and its ruling stands.  Have a good day, my little pony.”

The dejected stallion was ushered out by a Royal Guard and the next applicant was called.

An aged yellow unicorn mare approached with a pleasant smile and bowed.

I returned the smile.  “What can I do for you, ma’am?”  This one was going to be a lot more satisfying to grant…





After Day Court concluded satisfactorily, Chrysalis, Penumbra, and I headed to the sun room to unwind before dinner.  It was only with mild surprise that I found an older teen hippogriff already there, apparently waiting for us.

“Hi, Yoyo,” I said with a grin.

Yolanda flew over from the couch to give me a hug.  “Hi, Uncle Mark.  Hi, Aunt Sally,” she said as she repeated the hug with my changeling wife who smiled fondly back. Then Penny got the same treatment.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“As I was just telling Aunt Trixie, I’m graduating and the ceremony is in five days.  Fortunately, it lands on a Saturday here.  So, I’m inviting you all to attend.  I’d love it if you could be there.”

I looked over to Trixie who was seated next to Celestia.  My lead mare nodded, apparently having made her decision already. Unless I had specific plans scheduled, my weekends were otherwise freeform and this coming one was open.  I nodded.  “We’d love to come.  In fact, why not make a family day of it?  I’ll let Rarity and Loopy know; hopefully they will both be able to join us.”

As Lace Doily rolled in her tea cart, we made ourselves comfortable.

“So – tell us what you and your parents have planned already,” I asked my godchild.

The conversation continued until dinner was announced.





Yolanda stayed for dinner and we chatted some more afterward.  The young mare had almost complete autonomy nowadays, her parents only asking that she let them know where she was going.  With the cell phone relay from Earth in operation, she was only ever a call or text away.  She made good use of it now that her exams were over and she had the time to gossip with my wives.

Nevertheless, Celestia and I said our goodbyes early and headed up to our suite. With the solar alicorn absent so often due to her missions, we always liked to make up for lost time with some lovemaking when she returned.  For a short while, we two could devote ourselves to just one another.  We were almost done with a third round when Trixie, Chrysalis, and Penny arrived.  They prepared for bed while we ignored them.  They politely waited for us to finish before joining us.

Getting used to the fact that the herd did everything private together had been a shock back when Rarity had joined my herd.  Nowadays, I thought nothing of making love to one of my mares while the others either waited their turn, joined in, or paid us no attention. My mares couldn’t even conceive of why we would do otherwise.  I was a pony through and through now and I would hardly remember what it was like to be a human if it wasn’t for the occasional trips that I made to Earth.

I spooned up with Trixie in front of me, Celestia, behind me, and Penny cuddling up to the solar alicorn.  The batpony loved being able to do that!  Chrysalis settled in her nest at the foot of the bed as usual.  I sighed happily.

“It’s good to be the king,” I quoted.

“Prince!” my wives chorused.

I chuckled.  One day, they would get it.


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Tuesday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was unusual in that all three Triarchs attended Day Court.  The reason soon became apparent to anypony with ears… or who didn’t have good balance. 

The session began with Prince Rutherford stomping noisily into the throne room – I swear he set off a minor earthquake in the process.  He then proclaimed his personal admiration for the “Kingdom of Tiny Ponies” and announced the Mutual Defense Pact between our nations.  With great fanfare, the Triarchs signed the ceremonial scroll, followed by Prince Rutherford inking a forehoof and smashing it through the scroll and the table underneath. This brought forth much cheering and jumping from the assembled yaks.  Twilight, Trixie, and I shared knowing looks and smiles.  It had taken a while, but we had finally learned that providing the prince with something to smash was essential to good relations.  

What Rutherford did not announce was a key side benefit of the alliance.  One of the recently discovered dimensions contained yaks just as obsessed with cooking as our yaks were with smashing. Even the otherwise xenophobic zebras in that dimension had fired all their native chefs to replace them with yaks… with black stripes applied to their fur.  The newly signed treaty gave our yaks full access to that dimension thanks to a pair of very, very sturdily built dimensional portals.  

Following a brief recess for minor repairs, the remaining time was dedicated to petitions from the Council of Nobles.  The highlight was Baron Chrysanthemum attempting to bamboozle the Triarchs with an obscure aspect of maritime salvage law.  Smolder laid into him so hard I’m surprised his mane didn’t catch on fire.  Not only did she know all the case law in question, but she also picked apart his specious attempt to claim sunken treasure off the coast of his barony.  Instead, any valuables would be divided equally between the descendants of the ship’s owners and the country with dominion over that area of the sea, in this case, Seaquestria.  My daughter-in-law then named the sunken galleon that the Baron had hoped to keep secret.  It had been discovered over a century earlier by the seaponies but left undisturbed. As a result, if it ever was excavated, the Baron would not even get the 10% finder’s fee.





I asked Smolder to join me in my office for lunch.  Entering, I saw Rosa use her talons to mix a favorite drink of hers called a virgin Michelada.  Meanwhile, her dexterous wings wet the rims of the margarita glasses then pressed them into a dish of coarse salt.  To her right, Phil levitated chips, guacamole, and fish tacos from a red and white cooler and onto my desk.  These came from the appropriately named Taco Chance On Me food truck that visited Harmonic Composites’ Charlotte  office weekly.  Mexican fare was my daughter-in-law’s favorite cuisine from my home dimension, as evidenced by her happy cry of “Taco Tuesday!”

After everyone got their servings and the dragoness added her standard condiments of green chili salsa and fire opals, I got down to business. 

I said, “Smolder, we’re wondering if you are up for a new challenge.”

She frowned, glanced between the three of us, then applied a dash of crushed emerald to her taco.  After taking a bite, Smolder poured a slosh of alcohol into her drink, stirred it with a claw, and offered it to Penny.

My bodyguard made a show of glancing at her bare wrist… er… fetlock, tapping it twice with her other forehoof, then looking back at Smolder and shaking her head. The message was clear even in a dimension where wristwatches were a rarity: No alcohol during work time. 

Smolder shrugged her shoulders, downed the entire glass, and blew a gout of flame toward the ceiling.  I rolled my eyes and smiled.  None of the rest of us could similarly dispose of the alcohol.  While grabbing a second taco, Smolder finally said, “Explain.”

Rosa said, “Equestria shall make itself known to our homeworld muy pronto.  For this, we need someone with your qualities: ability to plan and lead, decisive, long-term vision, and excellent interpersonal skills.”

“And not a transformed human, I gather,” Smolder stated rather than queried.

Phil used his magic to wave his taco in her direction.  “This is in preparation for becoming the Equestrian ambassador to Earth.  That means you get to say ‘no’ when humans offer a basketful of beads and trinkets in exchange for a metric ton of flawless gems and thirty metric tons of gold.”

I said, “The politicians and powerful businessmen on my planet will expect you to be intimidated by them.”

My daughter-in-law threw back her head and laughed, exposing a mouthful of teeth that could crush rocks.  She wiped a tear from her eye.  “Still waiting for that to happen here in Equestria.  I can’t see how it could in the future.  Just not in my nature as a dragon.”  She cocked an eye ridge.  “I would use the adaptation spell to take human form to gain familiarity with that world, correct?  An executive position at Harmonic Composites with a disguise charm applied to mask any features too similar to my true self.  That would last until the day of ‘the big reveal’.”

I nodded.  “Twilight and her hive will control the portals and step-up security measures severalfold.  We will start out with economic relations.  You would negotiate commercial ties with a few companies on Earth, one of which will of course be Harmonic Composites.  A student-exchange program and cultural exchanges will follow later. You’ll be the face of Equestria for government relations as well.  Requests for military ties will be politely but firmly rejected.  You will be on the front lines of protecting our world from the worst my old world has to offer.  Overall, the benefits for both our civilizations could be enormous.”

Smolder pursed her lips and considered for a couple of minutes. Then she smiled. “This will be an excellent challenge! It has been getting too easy to put those noble fools in their place.  I accept, but under one condition.”  After I nodded, she said, “The Triarchs are the ultimate authority on how quickly or slowly relations progress between the two worlds.  I want an equal say in the matter.”

Penny laughed.  “Princess Trixie guaranteed that you would say exactly that.  Twilight Sparkle thought you probably would.  Prince Mark was skeptical.”  

I took the ribbing with all the good grace I could muster.  “Never too old to learn, I suppose.”  

What I did not say was that I didn’t mind having both of my co-rulers say, “I told you so.”  One of my first jobs in Equestria was facilitating Trixie and Twilight to work well as a team.  I still did so on occasion, with the easiest way involving them both being on the winning side of a disagreement. 

We spent the rest of lunch discussing Smolder’s role at Harmonic Composites.  Afterward, we all parted ways.  As Penny and I walked back to the Throne Room, I couldn’t help but smile.  No date was set for the official unveiling of Equestria, but another milestone along the way had been achieved.





Afternoon Day Court fell to me this time.  Today was a meeting with the Manufacturer’s Coalition.  Each representative discussed the health and latest developments of their industries.  Notable this week was a complaint brought by several members regarding the Hermit Alicorns’ dimension.  The xenophobic unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony settlements had started regular raids on outposts, immigrants, and even sightseers.  As before, attempts to placate the natives had been unsuccessful. I promised to discuss the matter with Princess Twilight and General Crushing Blow.  Between the ‘carrot’ and the ‘stick,’ I was confident a solution would be found. 

The meeting allowed me to steer investment into areas that would expand once relations between my old world and this one began:  metallurgy, clean energy sources, and tourism.





Every second Tuesday of the month was gaming night.  Phil had brought decks of Magic The Gathering cards to Equestria a couple of years back and that had captured the attention of a few dedicated players. The Triarchs’ Royal Guard details had first access to the game and several were hooked on the strategy aspect. I suspect Spike would have been hooked on the collecting aspect if his wife Sweetie Belle didn’t keep a tight leash on anything that could trigger his hoarding instincts.

Tonight’s players were me; Pearl; Phil; Spike; Lieutenants Ebon Flight and Solid Grasp; Sergeants Storm Flag, Eventide, and Staunch Bastion; and Corporal Soup Sandwich.  Tonight’s playing format was Emperor.  Pearl and I were the ‘emperors’ of each team and seated in the middle of our sides of the table. The remaining players were lieutenants whose job was to protect their emperor while attacking the nearest opponent.  

As the game progressed, Phil and I entertained everyone with our typical boasting, posturing, and highly embellished retellings of past victories. That ground to a halt when the play likewise bogged down into a stalemate with large regenerating monsters in play that absorbed all damage.  

That changed when it was Pearl’s turn.  “I cast Wrath of God to destroy all creatures in play.”

My closest right-side lieutenant Spike said, “I cast regenerate on my Craterhoof Behemoth.”  

Phil corrected him.  “Pearl’s card text says creatures can’t be regenerated.”  Dutifully, everyone moved their veritable armies of creatures into their respective graveyards.  I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise, though I didn’t know why.

Pearl said, “I activate my planeswalker’s special ability: Put all creature cards from all graveyards onto the battlefield under your control.”

Ah – that was why.  

Spike asked, “Don’t planeswalkers count as creatures?”  This was answered by everyone else shaking their heads. 

Phil levitated all the designated creatures from the ten graveyards and placed them where Pearl indicated, in front of him and two lieutenants away from me. He cocked an eyebrow.  “I see that Spike’s Craterhoof Behemoth gives all creatures trample.”

Eventide said, “And Hellraiser Goblin gives them haste so they have to attack this turn.”  

Ebon Flight frowned.  “After bonuses, I count 198 damage this turn of which 32 points are absorbed by your lieutenants.”  

I turned to my teammates.  “Anyone have a counter?”  Spike and Ebon Flight were tapped out.  

Staunch Bastion shook her head.  Soup Sandwich held up a card.  “I can reverse damage from one source?”

“Can that source be Pearl’s machinations?”

“Nope!” chorused everyone on the opposing team. 

I sighed, put down my cards, and looked at Pearl.  “I concede.”

She beamed.  “Good game, dad!”  Pearl gathered up her deck while sharing fist to hoof bumps with her teammates.  That left the rest of us to sit around and look at each other, feeling like we had been steamrollered.





“I require you to fertilize my eggs, husband.”

“Your wish is my command, dear,” I replied as I embraced Chrysalis.

Sex with my changeling wife differed from that with all my other mares.  Chrysalis had two modes, neither of which matched normal lovemaking in the royal suite.  She was generally disinterested in the love-play on the mattress, preferring instead to imbibe our love and lust from her nest at the foot of the bed.  When she did want sex, it was either passionate or broody.  The former only happened after a particularly strong stimulus left her in the mood for sex, in which case we retired to someplace which could survive her ardor with minimal damage.  When I say ‘passionate’, I mean that if I wasn’t an alicorn with earth pony strength, I might not survive it.  As it was, if she did not come out of a session with several contusions and a minor injury, she felt that I had not performed hard enough.  What can I say?  Bug queens are weird.  Interesting and fun, but weird.  I wondered how the other-dimensional Shining Armor coped with his Chryssy.

However, when she was ready to lay a clutch of eggs, it was completely different.  She would join me on the bed while the others politely let her monopolize their stallion.  Chrysalis put her heart and soul into our hive and the changelings she hatched to fill it.  It was at times like these that her true emotions were laid naked and her genuine love for me shone through, and I responded in kind.  I fertilized her eggs not only with my sperm but with my wholehearted love for my changeling queen.  That was what made the Canterlot changelings different from all the other hives (not counting Thorax’s evolved kind). No other queen had their eggs fertilized, so the drones hatched from them were infertile too. But every single one Chrysalis laid was first fertilized by me and infused with love, and that was why ponies were discovering that their Canterlot Changeling mates could give them foals.   It was also almost certainly why the Companion breed started appearing due to my magically warped genes.  Chrysalis was justifiably proud of her superior offspring, and I can’t say that I wasn’t equally chuffed to be the sire of hundreds of beautiful and amazing changelings.


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Wednesday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I entered the dining room to have breakfast, I found my anthro unicorn daughter, Pearl, huddled with my changeling daughter, Diadem.  After listening for a few moments, I realized that Pearl was helping her sister with her magic homework. Being further into her studies than Diadem, she was able to assist her with concepts that the unicorn had already mastered.  I gave a little melancholy sigh.  As a student of Twilight Sparkle, I’d helped both my daughters until they had exceeded my knowledge.  Being a full-time ruler with a commercial business on the side left me very few opportunities to further my own studies.  In fact, the busy schedules of all three Triarchs cut down the frequency of Twilight’s lessons for Trixie and me from weekly to monthly.  I had the benefit of virtually unlimited time to keep on learning, but it would not give me back those moments with the girls.  It remained to be seen if my son, Spotlight, would take an interest in the same field.  Just because he had a horn didn’t mean that I expected him to do so.  My children were free to follow their destinies. Not even Gemini who was technically Trixie and my heir to the throne would be forced into that role.  Frankly, they spent more time in the Crystal Kingdom with their husband, Shiny Button a.k.a. Prince Crystal Shield.  I saw more significance in the joining of our two families than in the political aspects.  It was cool to be able to call Shining Armor my brother-in-law though. As for my young batpony son, Verdant, right now he was only interested in bolting down his breakfast and hurrying out to meet his school friends so that they could play games before class began. He certainly wasn’t concerned about his future yet.

Wednesday morning was Twilight’s turn to hold public Day Court, so that left both Trixie and me free from royal duties.  I had scheduled a meeting with the branch managers of Harmonic Composites and Smolder to announce my daughter-in-law’s placement in the company and discuss how it would affect them.  The second item on the agenda was our planned opening of distribution centers in Europe and Australia.  While the Australian market was relatively small, it was intended to be our gateway to the Oceania region.  Besides, I had an ulterior motive for establishing a presence there – but that was for the future.

Works were also well underway to build a plant in the Anthro Equestria Universe which was proving to be our best market outside of Earth and locally.  Their Celestia had given her approval with the proviso that it be staffed primarily with local workers.  However, they had to be trained up to be ready to get to work the moment that the factory went into operation.  That meant sending over some of my staff regularly, including the ones from Earth. Most of the time, that would be Jewel Petit.  She was definitely the best teacher among all my engineers, but it was putting a considerable load onto the mare, even after passing on some of her managerial tasks to her branch manager, Jolene.  We were already assessing some more candidates to be introduced to Equestria because of that.

My wife had her own pet projects to attend, and today she was going to one of her favorites.  When I had only very recently arrived in Equus and Trixie had placed me in the role of Grand Vizier (a very pretentious title for Advisor that still embarrasses me), one of the first triumphs I’d had was uncovering a horrible Ponzi scheme that could have bankrupted the nation.  The victim was the hospital that was purportedly going to be built with the investment funds.  Trixie had been bitterly disappointed that it had been a scam because she’d had her heart set on getting it built.  Years later, the cost had been budgeted and the Royal Canterlot Foals’ Hospital finally was built.  Now my wife was its patron and, once a month, she would visit to mingle with the staff and patients.  She loved to perform illusions for the sick foals.

We parted ways with a lingering kiss, then Smolder and I headed for the portal to the Ponyville factory of Harmonic Composites.  In view of the occasion, the dragoness had dressed up in a smart business jacket and skirt.  Smolder rarely went unclothed nowadays, preferring to only ever do so in the privacy of the family.  None of us were pretentious about clothing and she had nothing to prove to us.

The meeting with the managers was fairly brief. Aside from introducing Smolder and her new role in the company, there were only a few business matters to discuss before everyone returned to their branches except for Jewel.  The unicorn mare accompanied Smolder, Penumbra, and me to Anthro Equestria to see Princess Celestia first of all, and then inspect the progress of the new factory.

While Smolder, Penny, and I retained our normal forms, Jewel always elected to use the adaptation spell to take anthro form. “It’s more comfortable working with the locals this way,” she explained.  Her enchanted clothing reappeared in that form and, as always, she looked spectacular. Jewel was easily one of the most beautiful mares in two worlds and forms.  Today, she was wearing a tight short skirt and a halter top that showed plenty of cleavage.  It was not exactly business wear, but nobody ever complained about her outfits. Off-white hoof sandals and a small faux leather handbag completed her ensemble.  The bag was deceptive in that it was enchanted to be bigger on the inside than the outside, and she carried all her needs in it including a laptop computer and high-vis safety wear.





In this world where nudity was the norm, Jewel drew admiring looks from both sexes.  She enjoyed the attention, but it never went to her head.  She was and always would be a self-confident mare who loved being herself and was a far cry from the male human she had once been.  Motherhood had only increased her joy, and she looked forward each workday to going home to her foal and herdmates.  But on the job, she was completely professional.  I wished I had a few more like her in the company.

I had an appointment scheduled with the princess and we met in her office.  Celestia complimented both Jewel and Smolder on their garments before we got down to business. Attending also were the project manager in charge of construction of the new factory, and the mare who would be managing the facility when it opened.

Sturdy Frame was an earth pony stallion and built like a weightlifter.  While he didn’t have the jacked look of Bulk Biceps, he could lift half a ton in each hand without breaking a sweat.  Despite being bipedal, the ponies of this dimension still possessed the typical abilities of their four-legged counterparts, and magically enhanced strength was Sturdy’s.  He certainly wasn’t all muscle and no brain though.  He impressed all of us with the depth of his knowledge and skill in his chosen field.

Precise Fit was a unicorn mare whom we poached from another company due to her reputation for managing complex manufacturing facilities. It was she and several others whom Jewel was familiarizing with our processes and equipment.  After our meeting with Celestia was concluded, Jewel left with Precise to spend the rest of the day with the trainees.

Celestia invited Penny and me to have an early lunch with her before we returned to our world.  I had to ensure to be back on time lest Twilight accuse me of being tardy. Today was Mad Scientist Day when I joined my co-ruler at a convocation of crackpot inventors and eager entrepreneurs.  Wacky ideas abounded at this annual event, but so did some truly inspired examples of thinking outside of the box.  We listened attentively to them all, giving support to some and disappointing others.

A unicorn mare talked about a novel way to mix magic potion components into thousands of combinations and test them simultaneously for different properties.  She and Twilight brainstormed on that tangent for several minutes until I cleared my throat. “Couldn't that be dangerous?”

The mare laughed and gave a manic grin I recognized from seeing it on my co-ruler’s face too often.  “That's why I always wear my lab goggles!”

Twilight looked a bit embarrassed.  “Ah, OK.  Message received, Mark.”  She turned back to the supplicant.  “Collateral Damage, please stop by my castle this week and ask to see my head magic researcher Bright Insight.”

The mare laughed even louder.  “Oh, Collateral Damage isn’t my real name.  That’s just what everyone calls me.  No idea why.”

Despite my better judgment, I had to ask.  “So, what is it?”

“Aerial Burst!  My first foalhood experiment was super-successful!  Much more exciting than even I expected!”

I believed her.

The next applicant was familiar to me.  The young griffon hen Crosswind maintained the laptops across the Equestrian branches of Harmonic Composites.  She proposed a virtual machine architecture for any future rollout of computers across the Equestrian government.  After asking her a half-dozen questions, I realized she had studied enough new technology to be well beyond my outdated expertise on the subject.  I arranged for Crosswind to meet up with Rosa the following week.

The last petitioner of interest was the minotaur scientist Steadfast Theory.  His calculations showed that near-limitless energy could be derived from the splitting of atoms.

I had briefed Twilight on the worst aspects of my former world’s history.  My co-ruler gave me a meaningful stare.  This one was mine to tackle.  “Do you think that the applications of this technology and the byproducts would be destructive?”

He scoffed.  “I find the very idea to be offensive!  Begging your pardon, Your Highness, but this is the future and it will come regardless of anyone’s wishes to simply ignore it.”

“That’s exactly what concerns me,” I said.  “I’ll arrange for you to meet with Phil Martine next weekend.  He’ll have some educational material to show you that I’m sure you will find enlightening.”

The minotaur bowed.  “Thank you very much, Your Highness!”

I made a mental note to have Phil track down documentaries on the after-effects of the nuclear weapons dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.





After Twilight and I officially ended Mad Scientist Day for the benefit of the curious citizens who had attended the event, Penumbra and I retired to the sun room before dinner.  I was pleasantly surprised to find Loop Luna there, chatting with Trixie, Chrysalis, and Celestia.  Unusually, Rarity was also in attendance.  Either it was a relatively quiet day for the businessmare or she had an ulterior motive.  I gave her and my other mares a kiss before turning to the Alicorn of the Night.

“It’s nice to see you during the week, Loopy.  I thought you were usually too busy at this time though?”

While the time differential between our universes was minuscule and thus the length of a day was virtually identical between our worlds, hers was nevertheless a bit out of step with mine inasmuch that Luna was normally about to begin Night Court just as Day Court finished here.  At least, the days of the week coincided which was pure luck considering that we had a one in seven chance of breaking the time-loop cycle on the same day – something we had not considered at all at the time. Fortunately for the infatuated alicorn, that gave her lots of opportunities to spend weekends with me and my herd.

“Nay, I exchanged Court sessions with my sister. Although this was in the manner of a favor, we occasionally do so anyway to ensure we doth both be familiar with our citizens’ needs, whether they be nocturnal or diurnal.”  She grinned.  “And ‘tis amusing to behold our little ponies’ expressions when they find the wrong alicorn awaiting their petitions.”

I chuckled in appreciation of that.  “So – not that I’m unhappy to see you, but why did you ask that favor tonight?”

Luna glanced at my wives who nodded.  She turned back to me and almost shyly replied, “Mating Season is almost upon us in my realm.  In accordance with my long-held desire to have foals with thee, I believe the time is right to make a commitment.  I have already gained the approval of your wife and herdmates, so I ask thee, Prince Mark Wells – wilt thou do me the honor of taking me as thy mare and allowing me to join thy herd?  Wilt thou be my stallion and sire our foals?”

The formal wording may have differed between our dimensions, or perhaps Loopy used a more archaic form of the proposal, but the principle remained the same.  “Princess Luna Selene – I would be delighted and honored to be your stallion and I welcome you into our herd.”

The alicorn did not quite squeal in joy, but the ensuing hug was fervent.  My herdmates came over to give their hugs and congratulations too.

When the hugfest finally broke apart, I said, “I hope somepony ordered a special feast.  I have a feeling I’m going to need the energy tonight.”

There were a lot of knowing chuckles.

Trixie had, in fact, ordered something special for dinner. After months of finagling, Trixie had convinced Coriander Cumin to allow takeout from the Tasty Treat.  She had sealed the agreement by threatening to never have another argument session with the proprietor.  The portly stallion so enjoyed bickering and debating with my wife that he agreed under two conditions:  our family alone would have this privilege and Trixie had to return at least monthly for verbal jousting sessions.  Once again, my beautiful lead mare recognized all aspects of the situation, applied her special genius to it, and found a solution that was win-win for everypony involved.  

Tonight, there was much conversation centered around the new member of the herd.  Luna and I took our time to savor the occasion before we bade our herdmates a good evening.  While we usually did everything as a herd, there was one exception that I have always made since Rarity became my second wife.  All mares added to the herd had their first mating night with me in the privacy of my old suite.  When we consummated our union, I wanted them to know that I was focused on them and them alone for that night.  Luna proved to be every bit as passionate as I thought she would be.  Making love to her was both delightful and energetic.  I was glad to have fueled up well!

When Loopy and I finally cuddled together to get some sleep, I briefly mused on having six wives now.  That would have shocked my old human self, and even surprised the younger me back when I dared to take Rarity into my herd.  Now, however, it seemed exactly right.  My mares all had a good relationship, and although we had our occasional disagreements, our herd was a generally harmonious and happy one. Luna had learned how to fit in and bringing her into our family had been the right thing for all of us.  I was a very content stallion.





Loopy is a dreamwalker too.  Oh, what we got up to that night in the realm of imagination!


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Thursday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time Loop Luna’s sister had agreed to lower the moon for that morning so my newest wife and I could wake up together and snuggle for a while. Yes, I call it snuggling.  I mean… it started out as snuggling.

After freshening up and taming our understandably disheveled manes, we joined the rest of the herd at the breakfast table where my herdmates greeted and congratulated Loopy.  She even got hugs from all the children who had begun to nag me to get the Night Alicorn to join the family.  When the kids started bugging me like that, I knew it was time to make the right decision.

All good things come to an end, and Luna made an early exit after a parting kiss.  She had a morning session of Day Court to prepare for in exchange for the Night Court that Celestia had covered for her.  As for Trixie and me, we were hosting Student Day at Canterlot Castle.

Twice a month, a different primary school brought their foals to Canterlot Castle to be shown around and educated on what the royalty did.  This helped demystify our roles for those impressionable young minds and give them the chance to ask questions or make suggestions.  Student Day had been a co-initiative of Twilight and Trixie, starting with students from Sparkle’s School of Friendship, but had grown to encompass every school in Equestria. Most of those schools needed to make day trips or overnight excursions to take part, but the Crown sponsored the event, so no place of learning was disadvantaged by the cost.

Did I say educate?  The forty-two pupils of the Appleoosa Five Gaited Academy tore through the hallways at a full gallop, spending no more than a few seconds in any room before exiting at the same breakneck speed.  Thanks to years of prior events, the Royal Guards on duty were more than ready for their little charges and blocked off access to deeper parts of the castle.

Their teacher, Mrs. Martingale, counted off thirty minutes then blew the whistle hung around her neck.  As the bright-eyed youngsters trotted back into the atrium, she said, “The poor dears were cooped up for hours on the overnight train ride. Best let them get their gallop out of their systems now.”  The pieces clicked into place for me.  I had seen my wives do the same thing with our foals, but I hadn’t realized why.  

Trixie never missed Student Day.  She took over entertainment duties with a brand-new show of her performance magic.  I got to alternately play the role of the lovely stage assistant (as Marklestia) or trusty stagehoof (as Mark Wells).  Both suited me fine as this allowed my wife to shine.  What followed was a game of “Stump the Magician.” Trixie would create illusions to replace the room with whatever fantastic descriptions the children would dream up.  My job was to select a new student every minute who would shout out a request. Trixie made every effort to blend each illusion into the previous one.  Today’s most popular themes were the recently published Daring Do and the Curse of the Spider Temple, Countess Coloratura, and the Power Ponies fighting giant space monsters.  The climax involved the Wonderbolts, Student Six, and Elements of Harmony joining the previously conjured protagonists to defeat the swarm of Space Eels (with rayguns). 

I could see Trixie’s knees shaking and the sweat staining her cape as she bowed to the applause of her young audience.  She caught my eye and smiled.  “Please retrieve the Alicorn Amulet for my encore performance, Dowser.”

I gave her a long kiss, ignoring the catcalls from the students.  I caught her eye and then shook my head.  “You were magnificent without that crutch, my love.  While you exit stage left, Your Great and Powerful Husband will provide a distraction.”  Before Trixie could say a word of protest, I trotted through the gathered throng. “Alright, colts and fillies.  It’s time to eat!”  If my wife shouted anything as I escaped led the madly cheering crowd, I can honestly say I didn’t hear it.

The royal chefs enjoyed Student Day as much as the Triarchs.  A foal’s unvarnished feedback for a dish completely beyond their previous experience proved as entertaining as it was enlightening.  Some examples:

* Herbed Vegan Mushroom Pate: “Tastes like my older brother’s toothpaste, but stinkier.”
* Vegan Ratatouille: “Left side of the garden. I’m yawning here!” 
* Zebra Squash and Cave Mushroom in Puff Pastry: “Funky Spunky Hunky Burrito.”
* Vegan Spiral Hearthswarming Tart: “Twenty rings of yum with a surprise center!”
* Cellulose Foam with Lime and Chocolate Shaving: “It tastes like Breezie Farts.”
* Beetroot Compote with Yak Yogurt and Flash Bee Honey: “This is beetroot!  You can’t disguise health food from me!  Take it back and fry it or something!”

The last item on the menu would be a dessert decided upon by the entire class, with me being the Royal Taste Tester.  A huge argument started up between different ice cream flavor factions among the students, with the chefs working overtime to quickly mix, freeze, and serve successive generations of attempts. After the chaos threatened to expand to the point that a certain demigod might be summoned, I made a suggestion to the group.  One more round of mixing, freezing, and tasting later, I was pleasantly surprised by the result.

I stood in front of the class and raised my head. “Thanks to the hard work of all the students of the Appleoosa Five Gaited Academy, I, Prince Mark Wells, in my capacity as Triarch of Equestria, hereby declare that today will be known as Chocolate Ripple Crystal Berry Peppermint Ice Cream Day!”

The wild cheers from the foals let me know that this year’s Student Day had been a marvelous success already!

Now that the youngsters had blown off steam, had some fun, and been fed, we were able to get down to the more serious part of the program.  With the help of Mrs. Martingale, the children were wrangled into the throne room for a series of educational presentations.  They were kept to a level suitable for their young minds and short enough so as not to lose their attention.  Then we had a Q & A session when every foal could ask us any question that they wanted.  I could guarantee that at least one of them would ask if they could be a princess too. Yes, sometimes even the colts asked.

Eventually, the class had to head off to the train station for the trip back home.  That left me with a spare hour, so I went to my office to get some paperwork done.  It wasn’t quite time for dinner yet when Loopy walked in unannounced with a broad smile on her face.  For a moment, I thought it was the local Luna because of the time and day, but the retired alicorn never wore her crown while my new wife always did.  I put down my pen, got up from my desk, and walked over to give her a hug and a kiss.

“Not that I’m unhappy to see you, but how come you’re here now?”  I wasn’t too concerned due to her pleased expression, but I was curious.

“As I told thee yesterday, Mating Season is nigh. Court has closed down for the fortnight which means I am free to spend time with my stallion.  Hast thou plans for this evening?”

“Drat!  The weekly Night Court session is tonight and it’s my turn to hold it.  I suppose I could ask Twilight if she could swap with me if she doesn’t have plans of her own.  It wouldn’t be fair to ask Trixie because she held the last one.”

“Nay, do not bother Princess Sparkle.  I would sit in with thee if thou wilt permit.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “You’re giving up your free time to do something you do every night normally?”

She giggled.  “Oh, but this time I get to watch thee in action.  Besides, mayhap thy procedures differ, and I am curious.”

“Fair enough.  It will be nice having you there with me.  I might even ask for your viewpoint if desired.”

“Viewpoint only?  Not guidance?  My age doth make me… mmm… slightly thy senior.”  Her eyes sparkled.

I was getting more accustomed to Loopy’s playful sense of humor.  Still, this was an area where I would not compromise.  “I am the Triarch and I make the decisions.  While you are a ruler in your universe, you are not one in mine. I cannot be seen acquiescing to any foreign power, even if she is my herdmate.  It would weaken my position.”

“Thou art wise, although it saddens me that I must be considered such.”  Luna sighed before brightening.  “We shall not let it come to that and enjoy this opportunity to spend time with my husband.”

“That’s settled then.  Let me finish this paperwork and we can join the family.”





I told the Sergeant-at-Arms Eventide to bring guest seating for Loopy.  He brought out a gilded, plush chair and set it at the foot of the dais. A very nice fancy chair for sure… just not as fancy as mine.

At the front of the throne room, I took Loopy’s hoof in mine.  “Gathered nobles and citizens.  I have the joyous privilege of introducing you to my newest herdmate:  Princess Luna of the Time Loop Dimension.  Please give her the warm reception that makes me so proud to call Equestria my home!”

The cheers, hoofstomps, and whistles caused my newest wife to blush and she curtseyed with her fluid grace. After the applause died down, I escorted her to her chair, received a kiss and wish of good luck, and climbed to my place on the throne.  My adviser Chrysalis made a big show of shuffling the papers on her clipboard until I kissed her as well.  That turned her displeased frown into a smirk.  Seating myself, I nodded to the Sergeant-at-Arms.

The burly thestral barked out, “Let Night Court commence!”





“I will have a word with the head of the Canterlot weather team to determine if they can schedule showers slightly earlier,” I promised Golden Crust.  “Nopony likes to be delivered soggy bread.”  Not that his baked goods arrived that way, but it had become difficult for the bakery to make their pre-dawn deliveries to their various customers while dealing with heavy rain.  Since this affected a lot of businesses, I considered it important enough to toss the problem into Radiant Beams’ lap.  The pegasus mare was paid enough to deal with the scheduling headaches.

The earth pony stallion with a coat color resembling his name bowed.  “Thank you, Your Highness.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Crust.  Have a good evening.”

As the baker departed, I turned to Chrysalis who held out the clipboard with the night’s schedule on it.  I reviewed the next petition – a request to renovate a disused hall into a community theatre.  I liked the idea and looked forward to meeting the petitioner.

The Sergeant-at-Arms ushered in a unicorn stallion with a murky green coat and a slickly black mane.  Not the most appealing of looks but that wasn’t what set my spidey senses tingling.  It was the slight swagger to his walk and his smarmy smile that got to me as he stopped and bowed to the throne.  Nevertheless, I remained professional and proceeded as normal.

“What can I do for you, My Little Pony?” Okay, so I was slightly put off. I had made it a practice to phase out that condescending greeting over the years, but I still trotted it out on occasion.

“My name is Pounding Beat, and I represent a group of entrepreneurs who wish to acquire and renovate a building that has been shuttered since the previous owners moved into newer premises.  Are you familiar with Haflinger Hall?”

“Yes, I am.”  As normal, preparations for the audience had included learning relevant details.

“My partners and I wish to develop it into an entertainment venue for the local area.  As this would differ from its original purpose, it would require official re-zoning and various other permits.”

I nodded.  “Yes, it certainly would, but that’s something that you can do through normal bureaucratic channels.  Why have you come to the Crown instead?”

“There have been… complications, Your Highness.  There appears to be somepony in charge who doesn’t seem to want this project to go ahead and has refused to issue the necessary permits.”

I raised an eyebrow.  That did not jibe with what I expected.  The proposed theatre should not have caused any real problems despite the bureaucratic requirements, and I knew that the head of the Zoning Department was not the kind of mare to let personal feelings get in the way of her job.  There had to be some other reason that I was not seeing it yet.  “Mr. Beat – do you have a copy of your proposal with you? Perhaps I can smooth things out for you.”

The stallion eagerly nodded and his magic fished out a folder from his saddlebag.

Chrysalis leaned over and quietly said to me, “Careful, husband – I taste deception from this pony.”

I nodded.  “I’m getting the same vibes.  Take a close look at the proposal with me.”

Pounding Beat passed the documents up to us telekinetically and I took them into my magic. We then skimmed through the pages, looking for whatever was bothering us.  Without a thorough reading though, nothing popped out.  There was, however, one detail that we could follow up on. I pointed to the name of the development corporation and said to Sally, “Can you look up Canterlot Entertainment Venues and find out anything we should know about them?”  The name had to be genuine because any permit issued needed the real name or else it would be null and void.

Chrysalis’ gaze assumed the long-distance stare that happened whenever she connected with one of her underlings. After half a minute, she snapped out of it and frowned.  “My ‘ling in the bureau is familiar with this business entity.  A different pony brought in a full set of plans and permit requests for approval.  However, they were for a nightclub, not a community theatre.  They were rejected because of noise and other issues.”

I looked back to the proposal in my hooves and grimaced.  It had been carefully worded to make it appear to be for the theatre that we were ostensibly being petitioned to approve, but I could see that it would equally apply to a nightclub.  I snarled and a small bolt of lightning shot from my horn and into the papers.  They exploded, many pieces aflame.  I ignored them as I glared at the startled stallion.

“Mr. Beat – you have not been honest with me.  You have attempted to deceive the Crown by doing an end run around the department that is tasked with stopping unsuitable projects like yours from going ahead. You want to build a nightclub right next door to a residential neighborhood which would be plagued by excessive noise and nocturnal activities.  You knew that I would not approve this, so instead, you called it a community theatre that would have far less noise and limited hours which would fit into the area and wrote an ambiguous proposal to sucker me.  Let me show you what we do with ponies like you.”  I looked at Penny.  “Detain him.  Don’t be gentle.”

The batpony nodded, turned to Pounding Beat with a wide snarl showing off her fangs, and flared her huge leathery wings.  She swooped down onto the terrified pony whose horn lit up before Penumbra slapped a nullifier on it, knocking him over in the process.  She picked him up by a hind leg and hauled him into the air as he shrieked in fear.  She carried him to the end of the throne room before dumping him roughly at the hooves of a squad of Royal Guards stationed there.

“Take this stallion into custody. The initial charges are attempted fraud and deceiving the Crown,” she told the lead guard.

Ever since Flim and Flam’s Ponzi scheme years ago, attempting to deceive the Crown was one of the more serious charges that could be brought on a person.  It was a testament to the greed and arrogance of this pony and his partners that they attempted to do so.  I turned to Chrysalis and said, “Make a note of looking into Mr. Beat’s company.  I want to find out if there are any other shady dealings we should know about.  Also, interrogate the pony who brought in the original plans.  If Mr. Beat has knowing accomplices, I want them found.”

“Already underway, My Prince,” she replied.

I must have impressed Sally with what I had done because she only used my title on rare occasions.  It helped lighten my mood a little, but there was still a sour taste left in my mouth.

“Court is in recess,” I announced before getting off the throne and heading to the exit behind it.  Chrysalis followed, as did Loopy.  They joined me in the small break room, followed shortly by Penny.  I gave her a nod.  “Nicely done.”

My batpony wife grinned.  “That’s always fun.”

“Doth raggabrashes and lubberworts of such low scruples appear oftentimes?” Loopy asked.

“No, thank goodness,” I replied as I poured myself some coffee.  “But when they do, we make it very clear that we have zero tolerance for anyone who tries to defraud the citizens of Equestria.  It’s one of the reasons why these public audiences exist.  Most of the time, they uncover problems both locally and throughout the nation, but sometimes it’s the petitioner who is the headache.”

Loopy nodded thoughtfully.  “I see thy point.  Mayhap I can amend mine own approach to Night Court.  I yearn that my world had the boon of a changeling network as efficacious as that of my senior wife.”

Chrysalis smiled at the compliment. “Perhaps you could send out word to all the hives that you know must exist in your universe.  Perhaps you could interest a queen in an alliance, although you will have difficulty finding one who is as wise and accommodating as me.”

That’s my Sally – no sense of false humility whatsoever.

“Okay, team – have a drink and a snack, and then get back to helping those citizens who deserve it.”





The largest surprise of the evening came at the end of the session.  I didn’t see any more petitioners next to Eventide but his eyes opened wide. “Announcing Her Highness Princess Luna!”

Darkness swirled throughout the room, causing pools of blackness to form and dissipate both on the floor and overhead. Twilight Sparkle described something like this from her battle with Nightmare Moon at the Castle of the Two Sisters.  Also, Luna sometimes performed this trick during the Nightmare Night event at Canterlot Castle.  I turned to my advisor, seeing Chrysalis shake her head.  From that, I gathered that Luna’s appearance was unscheduled and my wife’s intelligence network had not provided clues regarding the subject of this petition.

When streams of darkness coalesced into a swirling mass at the center of the room, I waited for wings, silver armor, and a madly cackling mare to emerge.  Instead, the darkness fell away to reveal… nothing.

Only then did I hear a familiar voice near the foot of the dais.  This world’s Luna clad in a sparkling black evening dress was having a spirited discussion with Loopy.

I cleared my throat to no effect. I glanced at Penny who did the same but with much more volume.  The two Prussian blue mares stopped talking and looked around them.  After a quick hug and a promise to catch up later, Luna bounced up to the petitioner’s spot and bowed deeply – her rear high and head nearly touching the floor.

I said, “Rise, Princess Luna. There is no need for that.  Stand up, please.”

She did so and smiled.  “Oh, I was just letting thee behold this posture of my profile from a different view… from the front.  Felicitations on adding my likeness to thy herd last night.”  Both Penny and Loopy smiled and looked at me with their eyebrows raised.

I blinked.  “Ahhh … you heard.  Your sister told you?”

Luna’s smile grew.  “None couldst have heard beyond the soundproofing shields of two alicorns.  Nay, good prince.  Belittle not the alacrity and fortitude of gossip.”

I was a bit taken aback by knowing smiles and nods from some of the noble mares in attendance.  Looking beyond them, I saw the same among more than a few of the commoners.

Oooooooookaaaaaaay.  Not a topic I wanted to discuss in open court.  Time to change the subject.  “And what brought you to petition Night Court this evening?”

Luna puffed out her chest.  “The Triarchy hath kindly granted me the privilege to visit other realms.  Two of these include a development most inventive that I propose our fair Canterlot adopteth.  In those worlds, thestrals inhabit warrens built into the very cliffs over the city. These include homes, businesses, schools, and places of merriment.  Construction, measures of safety, movement of fresh and foul air, and other matters have been learned extensively there.  I propose we bring experts from these realms here for the benefit of their knowledge.  On behalf of my thestrals, I propose we add these bountiful places to grow, play, and live to the glory of this Equestria!”

I drummed my hoof on the arm of the throne as I considered for several moments.  Living space in the city was in short supply.  “I’m intrigued, but I have a couple of reservations.  Firstly, other dimensions may have been content to allow batpony-exclusive living space, but not this Equestria. All citizens would need access, even if that requires staircases on the cliff face or inside the mountain.”

“Second, Canterlot prides itself on being the most beautiful city in Equestria.  Any construction would need to blend with the landscape and not mar it.”

She nodded.  “I resolve to allay thy concerns, Prince Mark.  Shall we discuss this at length in your office at a time of your royal discretion?”

I leaned forward.  “No.  I would rather schedule a day and time to visit those two dimensions so the Triarchs and some department heads can learn firsthoof.”

Luna bowed and closed her eyes. “I thank thee for thy consideration, Your Highness.  I shall make arrangements with thine advisor.”

“Thank you, Luna.”

With another whirlpool of darkness, she disappeared.

Eventide called out, “Night Court is concluded!  May you all go with Harmony!”





Soon, three of my wives and I were trotting through the castle hallways.

I said, “So, what did you think, Loopy?”

“Most elucidating.  And an unexpected pleasure to converse with my counterpart once more.”  She gave me a sly grin.  “To think thou didst withhold thyself from that flank when freely offered.  I well understand the avarice she held for thy passion, and for you to resist for years!  I believe a special boon is warranted for your forbearance.  Tonight, thou shalt learn that I can visit thy dreams and quench both our carnal urges in most creative ways.”

“Wait.”  I stopped in my tracks.  “You and I did that last night …. extensively.”  Loopy searched my eyes with a look of incomprehension.  “It was you.”

“Oh my,” said Penny on my right.

“Most interesting,” said Chrysalis on my left.

The silence drew out for many seconds until I realized my mares were waiting for a further reaction from me. I turned to Penny.  “You are a bad influence on her.”

All three broke out laughing and trotted down the hall, skipping with every step and waving their tails happily. After a sigh, I cantered after them.





Loopy got to be the big spoon with me for her first night spent with her herd.  I sighed in contentment.  It had been a good day.


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Friday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Talk around the breakfast table centered on tomorrow’s trip to Earth to attend Yolanda’s graduation ceremony. While most were excited at the prospect of a rare trip to the world of humans, some had already made other plans for that day.

“Lacewing and I are going to Golden Syrup’s birthday party, remember, Dad?” Allura bluntly reminded me.

“Oh.  Right. You’re excused,” I replied. Frankly, it had completely slipped my mind.  My daughters’ social lives were expanding to have ever less to do with family and more with their circle of friends, as was the case with all children their age.  As long as they did not cut their parents and siblings out completely, I tried to give them free rein.

“I don’t like being a human,” grumped Spotlight.  “I miss having my wings and horn.”  His coat color switched to dark blue and his mane to pale yellow which he tended to do when being recalcitrant for some reason. My youngest son had hues to suit all his moods which we had learned to read. He would never be able to play poker, that’s for sure. He could deliberately choose his color palette when he wanted to, but if he just let his mood dictate it, then it was a never-ending kaleidoscope of frequently mismatched chroma.  It made Rarity cringe at times.

I looked over to Trixie and met my wife’s gaze. She nodded in unspoken agreement. Considering the nature of the event, we didn’t think that dragging along a sulky teenager was the best idea.  “Alright.  You can hang out with your friends instead,” I told the colt.

Spotlight grinned and his coat turned light blue and his mane red.  “Thanks, Dad!”

“What about you?” I asked Verdant as he chomped through a bowl of fruit.

The batpony licked the juice off his lips before replying.  “I like Yolanda – I want to go to her graduation.”

There came a snort from beside me as my batpony wife reacted to that.  I struggled to conceal a smile.  We both knew how much Verdant ‘liked’ my best friend’s daughter.  It remained to be seen if Yoyo felt the same way.

Gemini spoke up without being asked.  “It’s been a while since Crystal Shield and I have been to Earth.  Should be fun.”

“No switching between genders,” I reminded them. We found out the hard way that Gemini’s dual nature was not hindered by turning into a human.

Gemini rolled their eyes.  “D-a-a-d!  That was only one time and ages ago!”

It had actually been a humorous situation but awkward to explain at the time.  I intended to never let them forget it.

I didn’t bother asking Gallus or Smolder.  Any time my griffon son was in Canterlot, he and his wife took every opportunity to do things together.  And what with the dragoness’s need to get more familiar with the human world, Smolder was not going to let this occasion go to waste. I did have another question for Gallus though.

“Want to come with me to training this morning?”

The griffon grinned.  “Who’s beating you up today?  Crimson Boulder or Mama Penumbra?”

“Both probably,” I admitted.

“Wouldn’t miss it!”

I finished my fortifying breakfast. I was going to need it.  I had grown proficient enough at unarmed combat that it took both the earth pony and the winged mare to keep me at my peak.  Shining Armor would join my trainers occasionally so I wouldn’t get sloppy against magic attacks either.  None of them took it easy on me and I would have been annoyed if they did. I spent too much time on a throne or behind a desk as it was.  I intended to be able to fight to protect not only myself but also my family and every being that depended on their rulers to ensure their safety.





With age, Crimson had become slightly slower but more than made up for that with improved strike placement and technique.  I knew he could hit just as hard but no longer needed to.  That meant his stamina was better than it was ten years ago, much to my frustration.

As long as I had known her, Penny never made noise unless she chose to do so.  Penny had been trying to learn the art of blending in with shadows and moving unobtrusively.  Perhaps it was her sun-loving nature, but this batpony talent wasn’t coming easily. As a concession to her ongoing training, today’s lesson took place in the indoor sparring arena with over half the overhead lights turned off.

After several warm-up exercises and stretches, Penny and Crimson faced off against me on the practice field.  I took my ready stance which they matched.  “Begin,” I said.

Neither of them moved.  I stewed in the sense of wrongness for a moment before I used my wings to propel myself to the right.  Pain exploded at the base of my left wing.  Without hesitation, I pivoted and swept low with my right wing.  My new assailant jumped and I readied a buck to catch them when gravity brought them back down.  Instead, I heard the flap of wings and saw a polearm descending toward my head.  Out of options, I blocked it with my injured wing and grunted under the wave of pain.

Now with a half-second to react, I teleported back twenty feet so I could view all my attackers and raised a general-purpose shield.

Crimson threw up a forehoof.  “Stop!”

While I could not see my third assailant, I could feel the air currents move which narrowed down their location.  As I looked in that direction, a quarterstaff appeared in midair followed by a mouthful of white fangs.  Colonel Dusky Wings dropped silently to the ground. “You are improving, Your Highness. Five years ago, you would be nursing a concussion.  Your return strike was executed properly but not your best option.”

Penny threaded her training clubs through loops of her armor and returned to all fours.  “Bonus points for wising up… eventually… and doing the right thing by using your magic. An unexpected attack requires an unexpected defense.  Damn the unarmed combat rules.”

I considered.  “Any reason why you stopped the sparring session, Crimson?”

He placed his padded spear on the ground and walked toward me.  “Your left wing is dislocated.”

I stopped to look.  Sure enough, the end of it dragged uselessly on the ground. “Huh!  Would you look at that?”  Couldn’t feel any pain, though.  For that matter, my entire wing was numb.  That lasted until Crimson Boulder popped it back into its socket.  I had to canter around for several seconds to get the pain under control.

“We’re done for today’s session, Mark.  I need you to rest your wing until the docs give you clearance to do more than furl it prettily to your side.”

I snorted then did my best impression of fluttering my eyelashes at him.  “You think my wings are pretty?”

He turned away.  “Not in the least.  But I know how much you birdbrains invest ninety percent of your self-image into your primaries or wing membranes.  Next week will be bladed weapons.”

Gallus and Smolder came up to my side.  My adopted son gave me a very careful hug to avoid my injury.  I returned it and said, “So what did you think?  Fastest sparring lesson ever, right?”

He pulled back.  “Dad, I didn’t even see him coming.”

Smolder smiled.  “I did.”

Gallus turned to face her.  “How?”

“Dragons live underground a good part of their lives, correct?  We have a stronger affinity to darkness than you.  Think about it.  If any creature could sneak up on a dragon in their cave, our race would be extinct.”

Dusky Wings had finished putting away the sparring weapons and landed in front of the dragoness.  “Is that a challenge?”

Smolder looked him up and down and tapped her chin with a talon.  “Yes. The stakes are a flawless ruby and a mug of the finest beer.”  The two shared a smile and a fist-to-hoof bump.

Gallus looked between the two then shrugged. “Still, was it fair to throw in a third attacker?”

I said, “That was a result of my long-standing orders. My situation awareness needs improving.”

Penny corrected me.  “He meant to say, ‘Is terrible’.”

I shot her a look.  “Which takes priority over a day’s sparring lessons.  Years ago, I instructed Crimson to recruit whomever he needed to help me develop it.”

My batpony wife laughed.  “That got amended to: ‘any time Mark is not attending to his foals.’  The Crystal Hive infiltrator Soundless Dusk found out my husband’s protective instincts both increased his perceptiveness and overrode his natural constraint.  The ‘ling had to spend three weeks in a healing pod.”

Dusky Wings said, “In the Prince’s defense, I have to disagree with your assessment, Captain Penumbra.  He has progressed from ‘rat shit abysmal’ to ‘just smells like shit.’ I have full confidence he will surpass you in time.”  He gave her a wide grin.

Penny frowned and shot her oversized wings forward, only to have them pass through empty space.  Again, I could sense the air disturbances where the Colonel had made his escape.

Smolder said, “Gallus and I need to head into the city to shop for a larger dining table.  What do you plan to do with your extra time?  Would you care to join us?  Or will you visit the castle infirmary?”

I had picked up Trixie’s habit of fluffing my wings as I considered a question.  I almost did so but caught myself.  “No. At least not right now.  I’m going to go see my wife early.  We have a new clutch and I think they could use a bit of fatherly love.”

After another round of careful hugs, I headed for the entrance to the Canterlot hive.  Penny pranced by my side.  “Maybe someone will surprise you again.  With luck, that will involve more tossing of changelings through walls.  I missed the first time thanks to a doctor’s appointment. You did promise to make it up to me.”

“I remember no such thing!  I distinctly remember promising only mango ice cream. I believe we are square and fair.” I protested.

“Blasphemy!  Such debts of honor cannot be paid off with a mere dozen or two mango sundaes.  You will simply have to do better, try harder, and feed me more mango ice cream in general.”

I sighed.  Getting the last word with my wife was as rare as a blue moon… rarer, now that I had had the phenomenon explained to me by my newest herdmate. Maybe next time.





Penny and I traveled the now well-worn path to the Canterlot Hive atrium.  I nodded to the griffon and unicorn guards at the entrance.  They were just one layer of the defenses that protected the residents and those who worked here.  Because spells and diseases existed that exclusively targeted changelings, every hive in Equestria had a contingent of military and medical personnel of other races. While I hoped ours would never be needed in an emergency, cooperation between species had reached the point that taking such precautions made sense to everyone involved.

The closest call had occurred many years ago when a disguised Queen Polistae from the plague dimension infiltrated ours. Changeling losses there had mirrored those of ponies, and the now-hiveless queen chose to challenge her counterpart for control of the Equestrian White Tail Woods Hive.  Our dimension’s Polistae quibbled for two minutes without answering the challenge.  At that point, the fast-reaction force of three squads of Equestrian Royal Guards, two squads of Red Changelings, Chrysalis, Twilight Sparkle, and myself arrived in the hive throne room via daggerscale portals.  When our dimension’s Polistae asked if the would-be-usurper still wanted to make her challenge, the slack-jawed queen stared around the room and then broke down in tears.

Twilight Sparkle took charge of the emaciated and desperate queen.  Her rehabilitation involved exposure to the many ways our dimension promoted Harmony between races including six months as the oldest student (by far) at Twilight’s School.  After a year in our world, the restored queen apologized to our Queen Polistae who gifted her with two dozen drones.  I understand they were all volunteers who relished the challenge of establishing a hive from scratch.  When the queen returned to her dimension, our Equestria had another staunch ally.  Once again, Twilight Sparkle’s mantra extolling the power of friendship had been proven correct.

Fortunately, nothing that dire met us on the way to Chrysalis’ private office.  As there were no doors in the hive, I entered without knocking.

My changeling wife faced away from me, an open scroll held in her magic.  When I approached, her ears swiveled backward as she hurriedly closed the scroll.  She turned with wide eyes and a strained smile. “Husband!  I am glad to see you so unexpectedly early!”

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek while trotting past me as her magic stowed the scroll into a drawer of her desk and closed it. “Come, my stallion.  Our newest brood shall be overjoyed to see you and more importantly taste your sweet love.”

Chrysalis vanished into the hallway.  Several seconds later, I heard her hoofsteps slow, stop, then return.  She looked back through the entrance.  “Husband? Let us not—”

“I recognize that scroll,” I said.

My changeling wife flinched while my batpony wife put on her ‘I’m guarding the entrance, don’t bother me’ stance. Entirely my responsibility to work out, then.

With a gentle hoof, I guided Chrysalis back to her desk.  I said, “Please don’t hold back this part of your life from me.”

Her neck drooped.  Her countenance was the direct opposite of her normal, confident self. “I… this is my burden to bear.  I never wanted…  I don’t want to trouble you with it.”

I pulled her into a wing hug.  “Our herd is strongest when we support each other, dear. That includes your clueless stallion. Are you going to try to convince me that my other wives don’t know?”

A derisive snort escaped Penumbra, but no further comment.

After Chrysalis said nothing for several seconds, I said, “Please tell me why you were so distracted that you didn’t notice when I arrived.”

With a defeated sigh, my wife lit her horn.  She extracted the scroll and unrolled it in front of the two of us.  “You know that I made peace with the families of the thirty ponies that died during my invasion.  To one family, I promised to read this scroll every week without fail.  That way, I would never forget the consequences and pain brought about by my folly.”

I hugged her tighter, noticing that she had not relaxed one iota.  “And?”

She tried to flap her wings in annoyance only to find that stymied by my embrace.  “I have maintained my connections to the families that permit it, helping where I can. This is not an obligation I can fly away from.”  She sighed. “I … did not want you to see me so weak. So … humbled.”

I lifted her chin with my forehoof to look her in the eyes.  “Showing compassion and caring for ponies is not weakness, my love.”

Chrysalis closed her eyes and rested her forehead against mine.  “I know,” she said.

After a couple of minutes, she rolled up the scroll and put it back in the drawer.  “Come, my husband.  Let me introduce you to one of those that I helped.”





Penumbra, Chrysalis, and I heard the class underway long before we reached the classroom.

“Who’s the bunny rabbit?  All of us are!  What do we do?  Hop! Hop!  Hop!”

We stopped in the opening of the room and saw a young earth pony mare bouncing along on her hind legs.  She led the way around the outside of the space, her charge of twenty-odd young ‘lings dutifully bounding behind her.  All had smiles on their faces as they chorused, “Hop! Hop!  Hop!”

The teacher sunk low to the floor and scowled. “Who is the mean old cat?  All of us are!  What do we say?  GGGGRRROOOWWWWLLLLL!”

Again, the students mimicked their teacher, “Groowwwwwllll!”

Chrysalis cleared her throat, causing all the young changelings to stare our way.  Seconds later, Chrysalis and I had scads of love-leeches giggling as they hugged around every exposed limb.  Even Penumbra earned a new decoration for her helmet and a passenger on her back.

My changeling queen strode into the room ignoring her new outerwear.  I tried to do the same but found it difficult with my cargo shifting places and arguing constantly.  Chrysalis said, “Professor Nutbar, let me introduce you to my husband, Prince Mark Wells.”

The tan mare with chocolate brown mane and tail curtseyed.  “Oh, Sweet Celestia!  I’m soooooo pleased to meet you, Your Highness!”

My wife continued.  “The Professor is a recent graduate with a specialty in early ‘linghood development.”

Nutbar stood up and beamed.  “Yup!  As far back as I can remember, Miss Sally has helped me follow my dreams.  Good thing my dreams are so gosh-darn cute!”

I quirked an eyebrow at the nickname but Chrysalis refused to meet my eye.  Instead, she nodded to the teacher.  “Thank you for taking such great care of our hive’s foals, Miss Nutbar.”

“Oh, you’re really so very welcome.  And … sorry about the little rapscallions glomming onto you.  They’re just the friendliest little bugs on all of Equus!”

“I thought we were scoundrels,” protested one nymph.

“No, we’re all scalawags!” cried another.

“Troublemakers!”

“Rascals!”

Their teacher cut off the bickering. “Hey!  Tell me kiddos, would you like to hear A STORY!?”

The ‘ling on Penny’s head stood up.  “Only if Daddy Mark reads it!”

The response came from all the remaining students at once.  “YAY!” 

Nutbar gave me a sheepish smile.  “If you wouldn’t mind, kind sir?”

How could I refuse?  After all, I was here to share some of my ample supply of love with my progeny.

I had to levitate myself to the carpeted open area of the classroom and then lie down slowly so noling would be stuck beneath me. I grabbed a familiar picture book from a nearby bookcase and opened it to the first page.  “I’ll read to you the Adventure of Daring Do and the Missing Bowl of Morning Oats!”  I got the expected laughs from the audience.  I had chosen this book because of the many sound effects and voices I would have to create.  Always a crowd-pleaser!





Later that morning, Chrysalis took Penny and me to visit the latest batch of grubs.  The cute things had hatched only a week ago and were busy gobbling up a nutritious mash of mushrooms and root vegetables.  They were also happy to wait their turn in line to get love-filled hugs from their sire.  Afterward, they settled down for a nap and I joined them.  Providing sustenance for three dozen small changelings throughout the morning took the strength right out of me.  

Fortunately, an hour of rest improved my vitality.  I took Chrysalis’ advice and left before the little grubs woke up.  She confirmed that they would be just as hungry or even more so!





A full session with Equestria’s ministers was scheduled with all three triarchs after lunch.

A large proportion of our citizens had the impression that Trixie, Twilight, and I did everything that pertained to governing our nation.  In reality, there weren’t enough hours in the day for us to accomplish half of that. Ministers were appointed who had the skills and mindset that best suited each area of the administration.  Some were promoted from within the civil service, while others came from the ranks of the nobles.  Even though I have a generally low opinion of most nobility, several notable exceptions earned their rank rather than reveled in it.  Anyway, while we triarchs set policy and made the final decisions, these ministers put in the work required to facilitate those decisions and ensure everything ran smoothly.  Major projects were carefully planned, procedures revised, and new problems addressed by the ministers and their staff long before they hit Twilight’s, Trixie’s, or my desk to be reviewed and either approved or sent back with a request for more data or revision.

But no one should operate in a vacuum, so the entire cabinet of ministers assembled regularly to discuss the state of their portfolios.  This would not only keep everypony informed, but it would also sometimes unearth a previously unnoticed cross-portfolio problem.  The ministers could also bring up subjects that were not directly in their purview but they felt needed to be addressed.  The sessions were often dull, but occasionally there were some hot debates. Trixie was not slow to use a silencing spell when matters got too heated.  It did serve to remind them that, no matter what their responsibility or feelings on the subject were, we three were in charge, not them.  If they were going to start behaving like foals, we would treat them as such.

I might have given the impression that the ministers consisted of nothing but ponies.  That had not been true for a long time.  As the years passed, the Triarchs appointed more and more non-pony ministers.  Two griffons, a minotaur, a hippogriff, an anthro unicorn, and two disguised changelings from Queen Polistae’s and Trochanter’s hives respectively were represented.  The latter had been required to let we Triarchs know how their position would be affected by their allegiance to their queen, but were otherwise treated the same as any of the other ministers.  Before giving Smolder a role to play in our future official contact with Earth, I had debated offering her a ministerial position.  Not that I’m sure that she would have accepted it – she enjoyed being a thorn in the side of the nobles too much.  One day, perhaps another dragon would join the cabinet, as might any of the other species in our growing empire.

When all the departments had made their reports, Flim and Flam were brought in to present their review of budgetary expenditures. The twins had been so effective at rooting out scams that they had been left with little to do, so I had set them as watchdogs on ministerial spending.  This had two purposes. Ostensibly, they were ensuring that projects stayed on budget.  However, each department was supposed to do that anyway and the Flim-Flam brothers only checked that they were following procedures correctly.  The main reason for the oversight was to keep the ministers honest.  No spending on unnecessary perks.  No granting contracts to friends rather than the best supplier.  And you better believe that the brothers could smell a bribe a mile away.  The former scam artists took particular glee in taking down anyone who thought that they could scam them.

With old business out of the way, new business was addressed.

With the growth of the empire, so did the complexity of governing.  History back on Earth had shown how empires had grown and fallen again and again.  Twilight had tasked some of her hive’s changelings with researching the causes of those collapses with a view to recognizing the symptoms in ours, so that Equestria would remain stable despite its growth and changes in all fields.  Celestia had consented to head up a team dedicated to addressing these problems. She was formally appointed as a regent with authority only exceeded by the Triarchs.  This had the side benefit of giving Equestria a clear successor if anything happened to us Triarchs.

Next, Tempest Shadow gave a report on recent raids upon Saddle Arabia by Zebrican tribes bordering the kingdom.  As signatories to an alliance with Equestria, they had formally requested assistance from the Triarchy.  Tempest had assessed the situation and presented her findings and recommendations.  A special task force was authorized to deal with the problem.

That led to further military business.  We Triarchs had debated the ethics of sending peacekeeping forces to the Hermit Alicorn dimension due to the raids that had been made on the colonies that had been established there.  We weren’t trying to take their world’s resources – only utilize unused land to set up mixed-species communities.  The whole purpose of those colonies was to show the locals the benefits of living and working in harmony.  A few of the locals wanted to join the settlements to enjoy its benefits. They were welcomed and assisted in getting started with their new lives.  Every convert was one less fighting a ridiculous war with other races.  However, the vast majority of the locals preferred to stay in the three segregated outposts.  Their prejudiced views of the other races led to continued altercations with the newcomers. We did not want to respond with force, but when they had no qualms about killing innocent ponies, we decided to take action.  The Ministry of Defense was directed to coordinate with General Crushing Blow to plan and execute a military peacekeeping action in that dimension.

That concluded business for the day and the ministers were dismissed.  Not all sessions were as grave as this one had been.  Usually, it was all pretty straightforward.  After today’s session though, I was more than ready to start my weekend.





I normally spent either Saturday or Sunday in Ponyville being just one of the ponies… or at least as much as one such as an Equestrian ruler could be.  It was great hanging out with friends and acquaintances, listening to the local gossip and sharing some from Canterlot.  It helped keep me grounded.  That had been one of Celestia’s problems when she had been the sole princess in charge – she simply did not have the time to socialize like that. She did a remarkably good job despite that handicap, but ponies still put her on a pedestal and even called her a goddess.  Not so me. With few exceptions, the citizens of Ponyville treated me much like their neighbors – even more so since I now had family here.  You see, I’m an Apple.

Okay, an honorary Apple, but Applejack herself had declared that I was a member of the clan after siring a filly for her and Rainbow Dash.  That was only reinforced when the farmer mare sought a second foal and I obliged.  This time it was a colt – an earth pony once more. I told Rainbow Dash that if she wanted a chance at a pegasus child, their third and final foal was going to be sired in her.  I had more than kept my side of the deal.

Anyway, as I was family, Applejack expected (or pretty much demanded) that I come around for dinner at least once a month.  Of course, the rest of my herd was invited too.  The Apples had no problem catering to large crowds.  In fact, the more the merrier, as far as they were concerned.  Friday nights were when my herd would normally go out for dinner or the theater, so our gatherings at the Apple farm were normally held on those evenings.  That was why I emerged from the portal in Twilight’s castle in the company of Trixie, Celestia, Loopy, and even Chrysalis.  The changeling queen tried to tell me that she goes just to be able to feed on all the positive emotions at these gatherings. I think she’s fooling herself. Her wings sparkle extra brightly after these dinners.

All our children came with us, and Rarity met our group in the grand atrium to Friendship Castle.  From there, we had a leisurely stroll to Sweet Apple Acres. No fancy carriages for the royal family today.  Besides, it helped work up an appetite.  We were quickly spotted by the Apple foals and they came tearing out of the yard to meet us.  Breezy called out, “Uncle Mark’s here!” but her one-year-old brother didn’t speak yet. On the other hoof, Suncrisp Apple was ridiculously fast, quickly overtaking his sister and reaching me first to wrap his legs around one of mine, grinning up happily at me.  Orchard Breeze soon took the other leg and I nuzzled them both.

Stallions who sired a foal but weren’t actually part of that herd were traditionally addressed as “Uncle”, which is not to say that Breezy didn’t know that I was her sire.  Applejack was very down-to-earth about such matters and had no qualms about letting her foals know the truth.  Between that and my frequent visits to the farm, the foals always made a beeline for me despite anyone who accompanied me.  However, my wives soon got their chance at exchanging nose bumps and hugs with them.  Suncrisp played around my legs as we proceeded to the farmhouse, threatening to trip me up but not quite ever doing so.

Rainbow met us on the porch, grinning happily at the sight of all of us.  No sign of her Wonderbolts uniform but she was wearing a neckerchief that her wife had made for her.  It looked quite… well… dashing.

“Welcome to Casa Manzana!” the pegasus proclaimed loudly.  “Our house is your house.  Come on in!”

Rainbow Dash had learned the Spanish word for apple from Rosa a while back and since then she had used it on occasions like this because: “It sounds fancy!”.  In truth, it did seem to suit the place.  It had grown considerably since the first time that I had visited the farm.  With Big Mac, his wife Marble Pie, and their daughter Ruby also living here, additions had been made to the original homestead which had more than doubled its original size. The huge dining room was one of the changes, and why we weren’t going to have any problems seating everyone for the meal.  But that was for later.  The young foals stayed outside to play while the rest of us socialized.  Applejack and Marble came out of the kitchen long enough to greet us before returning to their cooking.

The meal was served about a half hour later. My herd was liberally sprinkled among the Apples but almost inevitably Orchard Breeze ended up seated next to me.  All during the meal, she excitedly told me about everything that happened to her since the last time we had seen each other.  Based on her talent and passion for all types of plants, it was only a matter of time before she earned a suitable cutie mark.  Over the years, I had learned a great deal about agriculture, trees, flowers, etc.  This served the dual purposes of furthering my earth pony education and allowing my foal and I to have meaningful discussions about all aspects of the lives of plants.

A surprising amount can be squeezed into a young filly’s week, but I listened intently to all of it.  I didn’t get as much time to spend with my daughter as I would like, so I always made the most of it.  As for Suncrisp, he never stopped smiling and listening to us. He was a very quiet child but a happy one.  According to Rainbow, he had exactly three speeds – canter, gallop, and asleep!  The only wonder was that he managed to sit still through dinner – if you consider bouncing in his chair to be ‘sitting’.

Applejack frowned.  “Suncrisp Apple!  Ah need ya to sit still for one minute!”

The foal’s smile didn’t change, and his vibrations moved from his whole body to just his front hooves.  The adorable thing was sure trying!

Rainbow Dash gave her wife a peck on the cheek.  “Dear, he’s doing just fine.”  She smiled at their little colt.  “Go ahead, Scamp!  Hop up and down as much as you want!”  

The foal smiled wider and happily did so, now making audible thumping noises as he bounced in his seat.

Applejack gave Rainbow the stink eye. “His name is Suncrisp Apple, not Scamp. Where in tarnation does that come from anyhow?”

“Easy!  ‘S’ for Sun, ‘C’ for Crisp, ‘A’ and ‘P’ for Apple.”

“An’ where does the ‘M’ come from?”

The pegasus mare swooped in for a kiss, “Mmmmmmmmm!”

Penny cracked up.  “Should have seen that coming!”  

It was stuff like this that made this dinner so wonderful and normal. There were no royals at the table – only members of the Apple Clan.  We conversed, scolded, and joked just like any other family.  And when dessert was finished, we cleaned up.  Applejack and Marble had cooked, so it was up to others to clear the table, wash the dishes, pots, and pans, dry them, and then put them away.  Three of us were drawn by lot and we set to work while the rest either went into the living room or outside to enjoy the evening.  Somehow, Granny Smith’s name never got drawn.  Thanks to Applejack’s complete lack of a poker face, it was never hard to guess when this happened and someone else found themselves ‘volunteered’.  I drew the task of washer this occasion, but it still amused me remembering the first time that Chrysalis scored the job.  You have never seen such a dignified pot-scrubber!

When that chore was completed, I went outside and started a game of frisbee with Scamp.  Yeah, I liked the nickname.  I figured I could tire him out while having fun.  Turns out that he had seemingly boundless energy and I was the one who called it quits.  The colt went and joined the others who were cavorting in the pond under the watchful gaze of Celestia.  It was the end of a hot day, so it must have been very refreshing as well as fun splashing around in the water.

I settled down next to my wife to watch the foals at play.  “Feel like having one of your own?” I asked her quietly.

The solar alicorn smiled softly.  “One day.  Not yet, but when the time is right.”

“Uh-huh.  I have found that the right time tends to find you despite your plans.”

Celestia giggled like a filly.  “Quite true.  Nevertheless, my herd has enough to keep me happy for the moment.  Besides, with Loopy intending to get pregnant, I believe one new foal at a time is best.”

“They do tend to keep you on your hooves, don’t they?  Still, I have never regretted a single one of them.”

“Says the stallion who has fertilized hundreds of changeling eggs,” my wife replied with a smirk.

“Oh, hush, or I’ll tell your senior wife that you’re envious of her,” I said with a broad grin.

“I don’t think I could take the smugness.”  Celestia leaned up against me and sighed happily.  “No, I have nothing to be envious about.  I already have more than I could have dreamed of before my sister and I got stranded in the other universe.”

I wrapped a wing around my mare.  “Funny thing – same with me.”


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Saturday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“No dawdling!  We’ve got a big day ahead of us,” I reminded the family at the breakfast table.

While Yolanda’s graduation was not going to be held until this afternoon, we planned to make a full family day of the opportunity, and every minute wasted here was time we could not spend on Earth having fun. Only Allura, Lacewing, and Spotlight got to sleep in this morning because they weren’t coming with us. The Royal Kitchen had been advised that the rest of the family would be having an early meal to get the day started.

We didn’t rush eating but there wasn’t the usual amount of time-consuming chatter.  Before long, a dozen of us headed for the private portal room to rendezvous with our Earthside friends.  All my wives bar Loopy were accompanying us.  My sixth herdmate had to beg off due to being in the throes of heat.  In the past, Rarity and Trixie had tried to escape the insistent sexual urges by traveling to Earth, only to find that they were still excessively horny humans.  As that would have been disruptive to the family day activities, the Lunar Alicorn had reluctantly decided to withdraw from the excursion.

Verdant frowned when I activated a different portal than the one we normally took to the Martine’s home.  “This isn’t the way to Uncle Phil’s house.”

“That’s because we’re not going there,” I replied. “We’re going to rendezvous with them elsewhere.”

“Huh?  Where?”

“You’ll see.”

Penny stepped through first as usual, making sure that everything was secure before the rest of us proceeded.  Trixie was the next to go through, followed by Rarity, Chrysalis, and Celestia.  Only then did I let my impatient son step through the portal.  Gemini and Crystal Shield were next, followed by Gallus, Smolder, and Pearl.

“We won’t be due back until later this evening,” I told the portal room guards.

“Understood, Your Highness,” the sergeant in charge replied before I stepped through to Earth.

On the other side, I found Phil guiding new arrivals out of his office to make room for others who would be following.  I told him I was the last, disabled the portal, and we headed out into the hallway with the rest of our families.  Everyone exchanged hugs, although I noted with amusement that the hug between Verdant and Yolanda seemed a bit more ‘friendly’ than the others.

We were all dressed in our enchanted clothing, even Smolder who had indulged her curiosity about Earth once before.  My ever-prepared wife, Rarity, had naturally taken the opportunity to take her measurements and had sewn outfits for the dragoness specifically for this eventuality.  I had to admit that she made an impressive human.  Like her natural form, she was tall and lean, but well-muscled.  She was a fiery redhead with golden tan skin and no freckles.  Yeah, I know redheads and tanning don’t mix well – tell that to the magic.  She looked great.  Gallus certainly appreciated his wife’s appearance, and she, his.  For some reason, he had strong Nordic looks including blond hair.  He could easily have been a Viking.

Every one of my family could pass for normal humans, with the possible exception of Celestia.  She was the tallest among us and her hair was pink.  That could be explained away as a dye job, but she was never going to be inconspicuous in a crowd.

Phil herded us into a conference room that had plenty of room for all of us including Rosa, Yolanda, and Miguel.

“For those who haven’t been here before, welcome to EVA – Electric Vehicle Aviation,” Phil announced.

“I thought you worked for Harmonic Composites?” Verdant said.

Phil replied, “That’s the business your Auntie Rosa and I started with your father.  Before that, I worked with this company.  I bought a share of EVA with some… finance that your dad provided.  Rosa and I still work here half the time, so I arranged to have a portal mirror set up in my office so that I could readily travel between here and our other business.”

“So, this is where you make those airplanes you’ve talked about?”

“Yep.  And because this place is normally closed on weekends, there’s nobody working, so we can guide you around the place and even get in some of the aircraft we’re building.”

“Awesome!”

Rosa said, “Primero, we’ll let you know our itinerary for today.  After you’ve been shown around EVA, we will be heading over to the Sullenberger Aviation Museum which should be open by then.  There, you will see a lot of the older types of planes.  And because it’s right next to Charlotte Airport, you’ll be able to watch some of the current aircraft coming and going.”

“When we’re done there, we’ll do something a bit more fun. We’ve booked time at Mission Laser where we can have a few games as well as something to eat.”

“What’s Mission Laser?” Gemini asked.

“I know!” Pearl exclaimed.  “It’s a game you play with laser guns in competition with several other players whom you’re trying to tag out while avoiding being eliminated by them. I’ve always wanted to play that!”

Phil said, “Pearl is right.  It should be fun.  Anyway, afterward, we’ll be heading to Yolanda’s college for her graduation.  After the ceremony, we’ll be going to a steakhouse for dinner.  Later, I thought we’d take in a movie.”

My first wife spoke up.  “It sounds like a great and powerful day – Trixie approves.  Shall we get started?  I’m curious about these aircraft of yours.”

Rosa and Phil led the way into the factory proper where several models of airplanes were in various stages of assembly.  Because Equestrian aircraft were mostly of the dirigible type, albeit superior to Earth’s, everyone found these fascinating. Phil explained some of the design elements behind their construction including the lightweight but very strong materials used, several of which were being sourced from Harmonic Composites. Rosa showed off the battery technology and motors that were revolutionizing the field.  Sadly, they had to decline a request for a joy flight in one of the completed test models as neither had a pilot’s license.

“We’ll try to arrange that for another time,” Rosa promised.

Celestia found the aircraft of particular interest. “These are so much faster than the airships that Equestria currently uses.  Do you plan to introduce these to our world anytime soon?”

“Funny you should mention that,” Phil replied.  “We see Equestria as a potentially large market as these aircraft won’t have any direct competition as they would on Earth. There’s a certain amount of infrastructure that must be in place to accommodate them though.  We reckon that by the time EVA is ready to put the most suitable models for your needs into full production, those facilities will be completed at several optimum sites.  Hopefully, our worlds will have made formal contact by then and we can do business openly.”

Chrysalis said, “Come by the Department of Development & Infrastructure and I will have Diligent Design show you what has been planned.”

Smolder asked, “Should this be one of the subjects that I will need to focus on when we begin negotiations?”

I nodded.  “Yes, so it would pay to study up on all the aspects.  Plenty of time for that yet though.”

The factory tour was eventually completed. We tracked down Verdant and Yolanda who was giving my son a “personal tour”.  Yoyo was more than familiar with her parents’ business, so she did not need to stick around with the rest of the group, and it seemed Verd was more interested in her presentation than Phil and Rosa’s.  I wonder why…?

We all headed out into the car park where a minibus awaited us.  With a seating capacity of twenty, the rental vehicle was more than big enough to shuttle us all around.  Rosa had a commercial driver’s license which meant we could all talk freely in the vehicle. It was only a short trip to the air museum as it was located just a bit further up the perimeter of the airport from where EVA was located.  After Rosa had paid for admission for our entire group, we headed inside.

The museum floor included a variety of aircraft on display from smaller prop-driven ones to jet fighters and helicopters.  There was an old biplane and a seaplane too, but the one that caused the most curiosity was a large passenger aircraft that was battered and damaged in contrast to all the fully intact and restored ones. A partially destroyed jet engine was on exhibit next to it.

“Why’s that one so messed up, Dad?” Gallus asked as soon as he saw it.





“Read the floor stand for the details,” I replied, “but it’s why this museum has the name it does. That’s the plane Captain Sullenberger managed to safely land in the Hudson River after both of its engines were disabled by birds crashing into them.  No magic here to save them and an unpowered plane like that can only glide for a very short time.  They couldn’t get back to the airport or anywhere else suitable, and it’s also densely built up in the New York area, so the river was the only option left. Worse yet, there were bridges over the river to contend with.  Add to that, a water ditch landing with a commercial jet aircraft had never been successfully done before.  Sully managed a supremely skillful feat of flight to bring that aircraft in for a perfect emergency landing with zero loss of life.  They later salvaged the plane and brought it here to Charlotte, which was its original destination.”

“Wow!  I’m amazed those things fly at all, but to do that without power is boggling.  I’m glad I have my own wings… er… usually.” Gallus looked at the display panel that gave the details of US Airways Flight 1549 that departed New York’s LaGuardia Airport on January 15, 2009, captained by C.B. “Sully” Sullenberger. “Anyway, how did you know all that?”

I shrugged.  “Saw the movie they made of the incident and looked into the details later on the internet.”

Gallus chuckled.  “I should have known.”

Everyone found lots to grab their interest and outside, we also got to see passenger craft taxiing to the runway.

Pearl held her hands over her ears as the engines ramped up to begin their take-off.  “They’re so loud!”

“That’s one advantage that our electric aircraft will have over these,” Phil said.  “They’re a lot quieter as well as cleaner.”

“Yeah, we noticed the smell,” Gemini commented with a wrinkled nose.

“I dunno,” Smolder said, “I quite like it.  It’s… tangy.”

“Trust a dragon to like it,” Verdant grumbled.

That comment garnered a curious look from a nearby visitor.

“Watch your words,” I reminded him quietly.

“Sorry, Dad.”

The time flew by without incident and we had to reluctantly move on to our next destination.  We piled into the minibus and headed into downtown Charlotte to Mission Laser.

Our party of sixteen qualified for two “Private Missions” with a Party Room.  That meant everyone got instructions from the staff on how to use the equipment and play the game.  Phil and I looked over the options and chose Team Domination for the first game.  Each team earned points for tagging targets on the field while tagging other players was of secondary importance.  Getting hit meant you earned a thirty-second timeout before rejoining.  This proved to be a great icebreaker and let everyone get used to the game field and the weapons.  

The eight youngest players declared it to be a contest between the “Rookies of the Year” versus “The Grizzled Ancients.”  Much to their dismay, they faced mostly veterans who fought against the combined might of Grogar’s forces – yes, even Chrysalis. The outcome was a decisive win for Team Arthritis and Denture Cream because we locked down two-thirds of the play area.  The supervising employee hadn’t missed our use of military tactics and jargon.  She asked if our group came from the nearby Air National Guard base.  Rarity laughed and gave the teenager a few suggestions for altering the company attire to fit her form better.  I loved how my second wife looked sexy even while brandishing a laser gun.

The biggest surprise was Miguel.  Being the youngest, the adults started out taking it easy on him. His agility, small size, and fearless attacks forced us to change tactics or risk being overrun in the first minute of the game.  He was the high scorer on his team which earned him high-fives from every player plus the staff.

The second game was Free For All Fire.  In this variation, shooting three people in a row without getting tagged gave you a rapid-fire bonus until you got tagged. What developed was an unwritten rule that when two players earned rapid-fire, they headed toward the source of the sound to face off.  Other players ignored them until the champion was decided … after which they were unceremoniously annihilated from all directions.  

Everyone took a break for soda and pizza (cheese, double pepperoni, and veggie supreme).  The youngsters wolfed down their lunch and immediately headed back for more games in the public arena.  The sensible adults kicked back and took the opportunity to relax.  Phil and I attempted to convince Penny that she shouldn’t take too much stock in her top score.  After all, the two best players spent the majority of their time canceling each other out.  That earned both of us a toothy grin and a condescending pat on the head, thus proving she didn’t have to speak to get in the last word.

An hour later, the kids (I still think of them that way) tramped into the Party Room while talking incessantly.  They vacuumed up the remaining pizza and soda practically without breaking stride.  The adults had to remind them to hang up their vests and laser guns before we left the establishment.  They continued their discussions while we drove to the next destination.  Looked like I’d have to wait to get a rundown of their latest adventure.

I sat beside Penumbra in the van and saw her trading text messages with someone.  That jump-started my brain into wondering what I had overlooked.  It didn’t take long to reach the proper destination.

I talked softly into her ear, “Ivana Kalchik …”  After a bit more thought, I added, “… and her father.”

Penny nodded.  “It’s been taken care of.”

“How?”

She showed me her toothiest smile.  “You know that Ivana transferred to a private school in November.  Didn’t want to face her peers after her Halloween social network meltdown. Today, by wondrous coincidence, Ivana’s favorite media influencer is in Greensboro, eighty minutes away.  She scored tickets to the VIP event and has better things to do than hang out with ‘a bunch of losers’.”

“And her father?”

“Has not made any attempt to interact with the Martines. It’s almost as if he wants to pretend the entire incident never happened.  And if it ever does, the improved video security at their residence and places of business will make that a bad idea.” 

I kissed her cheek.  “Thanks, dear.  Once again, I did not plan out the ‘what ifs’ sufficiently.”  

She chuckled.  “All of us have your back.  That’s the best way to protect what’s in front!”





Soon we arrived at the Charlotte Harbor Event Center. Phil gathered up programs and guided us to the grand ballroom.  Over a thousand folding chairs were set out in neat rows in front of the raised stage. Yolanda gave all of us hugs before leaving at a run for the changing area where she would pick up her robe.  

We found our seats, Chrysalis on my left and Trixie on my right.  My bug queen held her emerald pendant in one hand.  All of us wore some type of enchanted jewelry that served the same purpose – obscuring our voices from outsiders.  I laid my hand across the diamond in the gold band on my left ring finger.  “Do you have a question, dear?”

“Indeed.  This ceremony.  Explain its social purpose, please.”

I pursed my lips as I considered.  “Well, completing high school is a great accomplishment worth celebrating.  Also, according to the cultural norms of this country, the graduates are now adults and able to make their way in the world.  They might choose to go on to a university or college for further study or strike out into the workplace.”

“Ah!”  Chrysalis brightened.  “A coming-of-age ceremony.”  I noticed the adults around us likewise had casually placed their hands on their respective jewels.  “We have … we had much the same ceremony in my old hive.”

“Surely it differed in some ways.”

She ran her free hand through her jet-black hair with blue highlights.  “Of course. When a changeling completed their final molt, they left the hive.  They would stalk a suitable pony or griffon, getting to know their every mannerism and acquaintance.  Within a month, they would subdue their target, pod them, and place them under the floorboards or in the attic of their abode.  Much like your young adults, they could now act independently.  It seems our cultures are not so different after all.”

I waited for her to continue or offer some qualifications. Instead, she let her hand slip from the pendant. 

I narrowed my eyes and cleared my throat.  After she had grasped the pendant again, I said, “That does not line up with what you told me long ago.  That replacing a pony was a very calculated risk, not a rite of passage for thousands of drones.”

“Oh, my apologies.  I was referring to my equals – the Hive Princesses in my mother’s Crystal Hive.  I thought we were talking about those that were expected to act independently.  Infiltrator drones could do so to an extent, but not that extent.  Despite their comprehensive training, they were rarely allowed to take such a risk.  They would only replace a pony under the supervision and orders of a princess.”  

She sighed.  “Such operations were dangerous in many ways.  I was fed royal jelly only because one of my older sisters did not return from her first excursion.  Then there was my sister Flagellum who chose to leave the hive rather than fight me for its leadership.  She fell in love with an earth pony stallion; I suspect it was her target.  Perhaps she even revealed her true form to the pony before making this decision.” 

I said, “Do you like how we do things in the Canterlot Hive better?”

Chrysalis smiled and hugged me from the side. “Infinitely.”

Before I could enquire further, our herd’s lead mare elbowed me from the other side.  I looked up to the stage and saw the professors begin their trek across the stage to their seating.  

“Showtime,” said Trixie.





I can’t say I remember much from the presentation.  The school district superintendent was boring as was the aging sports star who gave the keynote speech.  I suppose you can only say “you guys are great” and “believe in yourself” in so many ways before it all sounds the same.

Latisha Tyson gave a quick speech as the school valedictorian.  Her Summa Cum Laude gold braid marked her as one of the top performers at the school.  She finished by pulling her phone and a Bluetooth speaker out from under her robes and had all the graduates dancing in the aisles with a techno version of the school fight song.  Our cheering section and many of the gathered adults joined in. 

After the ceremony finished, Yolanda brought Latisha to our group and I met and congratulated her parents.  That’s when we all learned Latisha’s future plans: she had earned a full-ride scholarship at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado.  She had taken the first steps to become a veterinarian.  Where she would choose to apply those skills remained to be seen. 

Yolanda, sporting a Magna Cum Laude silver braid, had a two-year scholarship lined up with Duke University.  I understood from Phil and Rosa that she might take a year deferral to explore finding her place in the world in a different world entirely.  Of course, her extended family offered our unconditional support whatever she chose. 

From there, we returned to the minibus.  Phil and I argued that our current attire was perfectly acceptable for a steakhouse. Charlotte was a dress-casual city and a little sweat and confetti on our clothes just meant we were in a festive mood.  Rarity laughed out loud, declaring that she would have had everyone properly attired before the graduation if there had been sufficient time.  There was no way she would allow poor fashion sense to leave a bad taste for the rest of the evening. Rosa settled the matter by declaring that as the only person licensed to drive the minibus, it was her decision alone.

Guess whose side she took?

After ten minutes at Electric Vehicle Aviation, the men looked as good as we ever would.  An hour afterward, the ladies joined us.  I had to admit that Rarity’s creations suited everyone perfectly and the time spent produced stunning results.  Maybe I could arrange for a vacation in a private mountain chalet with my wives in their human forms. With that very distracting thought in mind, we headed off once more.





After dropping off the minibus at a parking lot near the Chima Steakhouse, we walked to the restaurant. We had timed it nicely so that we arrived soon after they had opened for dinner.  Because Phil had booked ahead, our group was able to be seated immediately.

Although we were all presently humans and therefore capable of eating meat, some among us were not keen on a steak dinner.  Fortunately, the restaurant also had a huge salad bar.  Trixie and Rarity were quick to take advantage of that. 

The restaurant served meat Brazilian rodizio-style.  The wait staff periodically came by with a skewer of one of several rotisserie meats including lamb, salmon, pork, chicken, sausage, and of course, several cuts of steak.  Penny, Crystal Shield, Smolder, and Gallus ate the most servings of meat.  I was curious about Celly because, although it wasn’t her first trip to Earth, we had not gone to a restaurant like this together before.

“This is nothing new for me.  I’ve dined with griffons frequently in the past,” she confided to me when she noticed me watching her.  “Tastes better as a human though,” she added before tucking into another juicy mouthful of beef.

Toward the end of the meal, Crystal Shield asked to talk to one of the chefs who manned the large vertical rotisserie ovens.  When an apron-clan man complete with a white, pleated chef’s hat stopped by the table, Crystal recommended marinating the pork in the marinade used for the chicken, but with double the white wine vinegar.  The pork chops should then be served with the chimichurri sauce that came with the Angus Pichanha.  The chef promised to give that a try and asked if Crystal was a chef himself.

“Not really my special talent, but you never know what the future will bring!”

Crystal Shield didn’t expect to get an offer for a summer job on the spot.  While he politely declined, Gemini promised the chef that she would “see what she could do” to get her boyfriend ‘Chris’ to see reason … or at least for long enough to learn the salmon recipe.

The meal was a great success, even if we had to remind some of the kids about dining etiquette on Earth.  And while we didn’t rush, we did not dawdle either because we had one more destination before we went home.

One popular family activity was movie night in Canterlot Castle’s private home cinema.  With access to Earth’s video technology and media, we were pretty up to date with the latest hit movies.  However, the newest film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe had just hit the theaters and Rosa booked tickets for a showing at a nearby location.  I’m sure that Allura and Lacewing were going to be annoyed when they found out that they had missed seeing it with us.  On the other hand, I wonder how much Verdant and Yolanda saw of it.  Penny had given me a nudge during a quiet moment during the movie and inclined her head in their direction.  Let’s just say that the action on the screen wasn’t what was engrossing them.

All good things come to an end and it was time to head home.  We went back to EVA to use that portal although Phil and Rosa’s home was closer. It would have been a bit awkward for them to explain to any nosy neighbors what happened to a dozen people who went into their house but never came out again.  Yolanda asked for and received permission to stay overnight in Equestria.  I had a feeling that the young adult would not be bothering to ask for much longer. I hung back while everyone but Penny had gone through the portal before grinning at my two best Earth friends.

“So, how long before they tell us the obvious?” I asked.  I did not need to clarify whom I meant.

Rosa laughed.  “When they figure out which one of them is supposed to be doing the asking!”

I understood what she meant. While on Earth the man traditionally proposed to the woman, it was backward in Equestria.

“I will have some words with our son,” Penny said with a smirk.  “Some Earth traditions work well enough back home, and I approve of Yolanda as a mate for him.”

As both mothers seemed to be in agreement, I saw that as a good sign.  I hugged Penny and said, “Now that Verd is all grown up, you think it’s time for us to have another foal?”

For once, I managed to surprise my batpony mate.  “You want another with me?”

“Why not?  Our son turned out quite well, so how about trying for a daughter this time?”

Penny gave me a flat look.  “You don’t have enough foals already?”

“I’m dad to hundreds of offspring and it has not proved to be a burden.  In fact, they are a joy to me.  You are a joy to me.  I need more bats in my life.”

My mate snorted but I noticed a blush. “I will… consider it.”

“Good enough.  Anyway, time to join the others.  Phil, Rosa – it’s been a great day.  We have to do something like this again sometime soon.”

My Earth friends hugged us and said their goodbyes before we returned to Equestria.  Penny and I caught up to everyone in the living room where they were telling Spotlight, Allura, and Lacewing about everything that they had done. Chrysalis had already dismissed the changeling minders that she had left in charge. Trixie had ordered the maid to provide refreshments for us, so we settled down and watched our youngest son’s reaction as he realized how much fun he had missed out on.  I had guessed this would happen, but Spotlight had to learn the hard way that small sacrifices were sometimes necessary to get the best outcomes.  He would not be so quick to beg off a trip to Earth next time.  I also did not want to see again the colors he turned when he was this miserable.

Not long after Spotlight was put to bed, Yolanda and Verdant quietly left together.  No one said anything but we all knew what was happening.  There were no innocents in this room.





There was always a little juggling for position in the royal bed when so many of my mates were together, although Trixie most often was the little spoon to me.  Unusually, it was Penny who lay down behind me this night.  When everyone was settled and the light magically extinguished, I prepared to sleep.  Then the batpony whispered in my ear.

“Yes.”

Well… that was quick!


# # # # # # # # #

> A Week In The Life - Sunday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today promised to be fun… for various values of fun.  Shining Armor had let me know that he was free on Sunday, so of course we scheduled some interdimensional exploration.

Our visits to alternate worlds had continued over the years, albeit at a lesser pace lately. The initial goal of seeking advanced technology for use in my world continued but, more and more, it seemed that we were the leaders in such.  The closest we had come so far had been early in the program when we contacted the House Path Universe.  However, their ‘magitek’ concentrated on using technology to enhance magical systems, while my focus had been the reverse.  My intended goal was fully opening trade with Earth where mana was in short supply and magic-intensive systems would quickly fail.  Harmonic Composites used magic to enhance technology instead, and the products that we made would continue to work indefinitely in that environment.  Nevertheless, despite the lack of success in that endeavor, the secondary objective of exploring new worlds continued to intrigue and surprise us.

A big part of my ‘Getting-to-Know-You” activities with Time-loop Luna had been having her partake in my regular activities.  After all, if they had not been to her taste, that could have played a big part in accepting her into my herd.  They also allowed me to get to understand what drove this version of the Alicorn of the Moon, what pleased her, and what turned her off.  That had gone quite well and I had quickly spent more time with Loopy than the Luna of my universe.  In the first world we explored together, Loopy was more than a little bemused to find that her counterpart was the Alicorn of the Sun, whereas her sister, Celestia, was the Alicorn of the Moon.  The latter looked much like my Tia, although her white coat had a soft glow, while her nebula-like mane was subtler and best seen in its glory in the dark of the night.





However, Luna looked significantly different.  Instead of dark blue, her coat was sky blue and her mane and tail were golden-glowing auras.  Aside from appearances though, these Royal Sisters were much like ours, although neither was banished to the moon in their history.

The second time I took Loopy with me, we encountered an Equestria where the gender disparity did not exist.  There were equal numbers of stallions and mares, and that was nowhere near more obvious than when seeing some familiar mares born as stallions instead.  There, Rainbow Dash was a stallion and had married his childhood sweetheart, Fluttershy.





Applejack was a stallion too and hitched up with Pinkie Pie.  I didn’t see that ship coming.  Prince Twilight was currently being courted by Rarity to no one’s surprise.  And yes, it was Luna who was Celestia’s brother in that universe which made for a completely different dynamic between the siblings.  It amused Loopy to suggest that I should consider that Luna as the perfect partner for Marklestia.  She may not have been directly related to my Celestia but her sense of humor was the same. What was it with these mares trying to hook up my alter ego all the time?

We discovered another anthro pony world, only these ones all wore clothes, unlike the one where many of our citizens commuted to and from nowadays. That wasn’t the most significant difference though.  In that world, the only sapient species were the various ponies and changelings.  The two species not only lived harmoniously together, but the male changelings also balanced out the excess proportion of mares. Changeling-pony couples were the norm rather than the exception.

I have long believed that the shape-changers were somehow a pony offshoot, considering their basic form and how readily the fertile drones could interbreed with ponies.  With the dearth of other intelligent species on that world, it added another data point. However, those speculations were driven from my mind when I met my anthro counterpart and his wife, Chrysalis.  I was very glad my bug wife wasn’t accompanying me on that trip because I don’t know how she would have reacted to my response at seeing that world’s queen.  She was drop-dead gorgeous!  And this from a stallion who actually preferred four-legged lovers now.  My counterpart had good fortune as well as good taste.

When I saw this Chrysalis whispering to Penumbra while making a point of not looking my way, I had to head over.  “Can I help you, Your Majesty?”

I saw Penny discreetly tuck a photo in her far saddlebag.  The changeling queen smiled sweetly.  “You’ll find out in due time.”  The two trotted away, giggling.

Later that week, my bug queen let me know that it was time to fertilize her eggs and that she had reserved a room in the basement of the Castle of Friendship for the task.  When I arrived that evening, I saw a familiar sight, right down to the jewelry and slinky dress.





My wife purred.  “My stallion, be a dear and use the portals to take your anthro form, won’t you? Then you can show me how to properly undress your queen.”  I hastened to comply without a word.

It turned out that “properly” involved quite a bit of clothing damage on both of our parts.





The exploration of alternate universes had been put on hold briefly due to Twilight Sparkle putting time into building the latest successor to her original portal generator.  While it had performed admirably over the years, it had been tweaked and patched with improvements so much over time that it became a bit of a Frankenstein’s Monster. Twi decided to construct a brand-new unit incorporating all the improvements plus a few more desirable additions utilizing cutting-edge technology.  The biggest improvement was an AI enchantment that would survey the other end of the portal for hazards.  Only Shining Armor’s forcefield had saved us once from suffocating in a vacuum on an airless world, and a plunge into an icy lake had not been pleasant on another occasion.  While the portal generator already had a failsafe that prevented it from manifesting inside solid objects such as walls, it did nothing about nearby objects. After I walked nose-first into a tree that was mere inches from the portal, I asked (demanded!) that Twilight do something about that problem while blood poured from my nostrils.  The result was something that she proudly called the “Intelligent Situation Assessment And Correction algorithm”.

“You called it ISAAC?” I asked Twilight with a grin.

Of course, Isaac wasn’t a pony name, so she just gave me a blank look in response. Naturally, I kept calling it that. Better than the mouthful she had named it.  Twilight eventually got used to it and started using the acronym too.  Anyway, ISAAC worked quite well, either by adjusting the location of the portal opening so that we didn’t walk into walls or off a cliff, or by removing obstacles such as branches or hazardous debris.  Between the improved software and the sleek new hardware, the new portal generator was a thing of beauty.  We field-tested it many times first, tuning into universes we had previously explored to ensure that it was working as expected, including deliberately aiming the outlet for suboptimal locations.  ISAAC made the necessary adjustments on each occasion, and we declared it a success.

And thus, we came to today’s full-scale operation.  Shining had committed to the whole day – something about Cadance and the girls having a day out with Twilight Velvet.  I had to sympathize with the stallion – I was not that girly even when I was Marklestia.

I had wanted Loopy to be with us, but she was still holed up back in her universe and “not in a fit state to travel” as she put it.  Hopefully, I would be able to do something about that tonight.  My herdmate had insisted that I not put off my long-scheduled plans, so Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Penny, Shining Armor, and I were poised to encounter a new universe straight after breakfast.  Steady Flight asked to come along too and I couldn’t tell my best pony friend no.

After ISAAC gave the all-clear, Shining stepped through the portal with everyone but Twilight hot on his fetlocks.  We were all a little let down by what we beheld upon arrival.

“I thought we were supposed to come out in Canterlot?” Steady commented.

“We did… kind of,” Celestia said.  “I recognize this landscape.  This is how the plateau looked before Canterlot was built.”

“Is it possible that we came out in the hermit alicorn world again?” Shining asked.

“No,” I replied.  “Twilight was trying significantly different settings.  Drop your shield, Shining.  I’m going up to take a look around.”

He did as asked and I took off along with Celestia and the ever-watchful Penumbra. I scanned the valley below and immediately spotted civilization.  My pegasus far vision picked out several townships including one where Ponyville should be, although without a Castle of Friendship.  Strangely, I thought I could see a tower in the middle of the Everfree Forest.  I pointed this out to the others.

Celestia said, “Good heavens!  I believe I know what has happened in this world.  That’s the solar tower of the Castle of the Two Sisters.  I can see a bit of the lunar tower behind it.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “If that still stands and Canterlot was never built, do you think that this world never saw a falling out between their Celestia and Luna?”

“That’s certainly one explanation.”

“So – pay them a visit?”

Celestia grinned.  “That should be fun.”

We landed just as Steady was returning through the portal after giving Twilight the all-clear.  The purple mare emerged next, scanned the surroundings, then looked my way.

“We’re going for a flight to the Everfree,” I said.  “Looks like you’re stuck here, Shining.  Unless you grow wings in the next few moments, of course,” I added with a grin.

The unicorn stallion smirked.  “I have the flight pack that I got from the House Path dimension stashed with my stuff in the portal room.  You’re not leaving me behind.”

Penny said, “Please get a couple of guards to come back with you to watch the dimension gate while we’re gone.”

“Way ahead of you,” Shining replied as he stepped back through the portal.

He returned promptly along with a unicorn and a griffon Royal Guard.  As soon as he had secured the flight pack, we headed for what we hoped would be an interesting royal visit.

We were maybe two-thirds of the way to our destination when we encountered a squad of pegasus Royal Guards flying from the direction of the Everfree.  Our two groups pulled up about ten yards apart and one of their number approached us – a sergeant by his armor markings, although I did not recognize the pony.  His eyes were on Celestia though when he saluted and spoke up.

“Your Majesty!  Did you teleport ahead of us?  Who are these ponies with you?”

“No, Sergeant, I did not teleport ahead,” the solar alicorn replied.  “In fact, I am not even the Celestia that you left behind at the castle.”

That startled and confused the guards, and when military ponies are in that condition, they tend to get suspicious.  I noticed them readying their weapons.  I carefully prepared my defenses as I knew the others would do. However, before anything more could happen, Twilight moved up to the front of our group.

“We are emissaries from another universe and we come in peace.  Do you recognize me?”

The guard frowned.  “You resemble Queen Celestia’s student, but she is not an alicorn.”  His gaze shifted to me.  “And I do not know this stallion at all.  Is he truly an alicorn or a changeling in the guise of one?”

I spoke up.  “I am a true alicorn, but one from a different world with a different history. As Princess Twilight Sparkle said, we are explorers from another dimension and we only wish to establish peaceful relations with yours.”

The pegasus considered for a moment before nodding.  “I gather that you are the cause of the major mana surge located upon Mount Canterhorn?”  Upon our confirmation, he continued, “Very well, we will accompany you to Their Majesties’ castle.  Please do not deviate from the path we take or else we may be forced to act.”

While a threat was implied and not unexpected under the strange circumstances, it wasn’t difficult to tell that the pegasi were nervous about the possibility of defending against three alicorns, not to mention a unicorn in a magical flight device and an aggressive-looking batpony.

Our flight continued until we reached our original destination.  I’ve been to the Castle of the Two Sisters several times and seen the restoration work done upon it.  Nevertheless, it couldn’t compare to the magnificent structure that dominated the small metropolis within the forest.  Obviously, many improvements and additions had been made to this one since it had first been built.  And it was supported by a city similar to Canterlot, and no less beautiful. I could see roads leading out of the otherwise untouched growth in four directions, hinting at frequent traffic.  On the flight over, I saw no evidence of the dark magic that contaminated our Everfree.

Two more squads of Royal Guards met us in the courtyard as we touched down. I suspected that the sergeant had the means to communicate and had forewarned of our arrival.  The alert and serious expressions told me that they were ready for hostile action.  Taking the hint, our party waited until the local rulers approached.

Celestia and Luna stepped up with smiles upon their faces.  Whatever they were truly feeling, they were nevertheless acting as confident and gracious leaders.

After looking over us all with a furrowed brow, Luna turned to her sister and said, “Star Swirl never mentioned this in his explorations of other worlds via portals.  I wish more than ever that such knowledge had not been lost.”

Celestia nodded.  “True. He spoke of much odder beings in the worlds his mirror opened.”  She then turned to her counterpart.  “I am Queen Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, and this is my sister, Queen Luna.  May I assume that you are my counterpart from another universe, and this is your husband?”

Tia smiled.  “That is correct.  I am Princess Celestia, retired ruler of Equestria.  This is my husband, Prince Mark Wells, current Triarch of Equestria, and this is Princess Twilight Sparkle, also a Triarch.”

“You are a Triarch?” Luna said.  “Then there is a third co-ruler?”

Luna said ‘you’ and not ‘thou’ – together with the status of the castle, it implied that she had never been banished to the moon.  “Correct,” I said.  “That would be my other wife, Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”

That got the jaw-dropping reaction from both alicorns I was looking for. Not even they were immune to the stunned disbelief that Trixie was a princess wherever that particular counterpart was known to the local Royal Sisters.  It never got old.

“Surely you jest?” the lunar alicorn asked.

I shook my head with a smile.  “No, I am not joking.  You would be amazed by what a pony can accomplish under the right circumstances. She ascended to become an alicorn too.”

Celestia said, “I have to hear more about this.  Would you all care to join us for refreshments while we chat?”

“It would be our pleasure, Your Majesty,” Twilight replied.

The solar alicorn said, “I would ask you to call me Celestia, but I think that might cause a little confusion under the circumstances.”

My wife replied, “Since I am retired, you may call me Tia as my herdmates do.”

“Then, let us head inside and get comfortable.  Captain of the Guard – you may dismiss the response squads.”

The indicated earth pony did so, although, as expected, a few Royal Guards remained to accompany us.  That was hardly surprising as this Celestia and Luna were bound to have personal bodyguards just like us.





We had a pleasant conversation discussing the differences between our Equestrias.  When queried about why we had arrived on Mount Canterhorn, we explained that it was where our capital was located.  We pretty much glossed over our Luna’s fate as the reason why the seat of power had been relocated.  We figured it was too soon to bring up such upsetting details.  There wasn’t a great deal to learn from them that was unexpected due to the way their history had worked out.  With no conflict between the sisters a thousand years back, the nation had quietly grown with little incentive to change the status quo.  Once again, my world was more advanced than theirs. Nevertheless, it was interesting to see how Equestria turned out without the Nightmare Moon incident.  Penny would later say that it was a tragedy that the thestrals never came to be in this world because of that.  Not that she complained too much; she was all for a return visit. Thinking back, I remember hearing the words “exotic beauty” more than once from their Royal Guards.

Our chat was only brought to a close by our need to return to the portal.  We limited the amount of time we kept it open due to the immense amount of power the open-ended gateway required.  Further social visits were promised with the provision of an enchanted gem to attach to a suitable mirror.  This would provide a more stable and power-efficient means of travel between our worlds.

Celestia and Luna accompanied us to the portal to see it for themselves and bid us farewell.  Upon returning to our Equestria, Twilight shut down the mechanism to allow it to cool off and recharge before we proceeded to the next new universe. My Celestia and Steady had committed to giving advanced flight lessons to Lacewing and Allura.  The solar alicorn promised to meet up at lunchtime and kissed me.  When I tapped a cheek for Steady to do the same, he just rolled his eyes.  When I changed to Marklestia and repeated the gesture, he blushed and hastened to join Celestia.





The next time I stepped out of the portal, it took no time at all to see the first obvious difference in this reality.  While the Canterlot Royal Gardens looked familiar, the two changeling princesses standing just outside Shining Armor’s shield did not.  Their blue manes and tails and dark grey chitin identified them as unevolved Crystal Changelings.

“He’s just so powerful!” said one.

“And he’s handsome, too!” said the other.

The first waved a hoof.  “Hey, yoo-hoo!  You with all the muscles and kick-plot shield!  Wanna be my partner for the Spring Heat?”

The second gave her companion a shove. “Sis!  Don’t be rude!  There’s more than enough hunky stallion for us to share!  Besides …” With a flash of green fire, a copy of Shining Armor stood in her place. With a voice an octave lower than my friend’s voice, she continued. “… we need to show him off to the whole clutch!”

The first likewise transformed into a similar copy.  Her voice was yet another octave deeper.  “You mean I get to show him off!  Do you think he’ll need potency potions?  I mean two weeks and a couple of dozen princesses is a bunch.  Plus our marefriends, and their marefriends, and their marefriends…”

Penny was no help, wiping tears from her eyes while her whole body shook. From the gasp I heard behind me, Twilight had just entered but didn’t go to help her brother. Up to me then.

I walked up to Shining’s side.  My friend’s red face and stammering were too much for me to resist.  “Great job!  You sure know how to make a good first impression.”  His look of betrayal made me crack up.

The two princesses stopped their bickering, looked me up and down, then let out a squee.  With a double flash, they returned to their original forms.

“An alicorn stallion!”

“And almost half as good-looking as the unicorn.”

“Yep, he’ll do just fine!”

Shining recovered from his shock enough to laugh at my expense.  Penumbra and Twilight as well.

“Daughters!  Behave yourselves in front of our guests!”

My eyes snapped up to find the source of the familiar voice.  Princess Celestia glided in to land a dozen feet away. This realm’s Queen Chrysalis dove behind the white alicorn.  A few moments later, only her head peeked into view.

“Mom!”

“Moms!  Dibs!”

Celestia shook her head causing her pastel-colored mane to cascade around her neck. “No dibs, younglings.  Now shoo!  Your parents have work to do.”

The first turned back to Shining Armor.  “I’m Cressida.  Write to me at the hive, please!”

The second gave me a huge smile.  “And I’m Amarissa.  Remember! Two weeks from today!”

The pair took off leaving a sighing Celestia behind.  “I apologize for our excitable daughters.  I see from your dimensional portal that you hail from a different Equestria… although… I can’t say I’ve met your counterparts in mine.”

Chrysalis came up beside the white alicorn.  She tried twice to get out words, only succeeding when she took her eyes off of us and onto Celestia.  “We have, dear.  The shield caster and purple mare are the children of Dean Twilight Velvet and agent Night Light.  Although she is not an alicorn.”

Celestia pulled the changeling queen into her embrace.  “You mean she wasn’t the last time you checked.  Always strive for perfect accuracy, my beautiful mate.” She kissed the changeling on the cheek. Chrysalis blushed green and made a half-hearted attempt to bat the mare away.





Celestia turned to us with a grin, embracing the changeling even tighter, eliciting an embarrassed chirp.  “My name is Princess Celestia.  My sister Luna and I have ruled Equestria for over a millennium.  And this lovable squeaky toy is my lifemate Queen Chrysalis of the Equestrian Hive.  I do hope you can forgive my lack of decorum.  We have only been married for a few decades and this is my first marriage. Lots of snuggles and tickles to catch up on.”

At the word ‘tickles’, the queen’s eyes went wide and with a bout of green flame, an emerald-colored snake appeared in her place and darted in the direction of the castle.

Celestia watched her quickly retreating wife and grinned.  “Splendid idea!  Please arrange for some refreshments for our guests!”

I said, “Greetings, Princess Celestia.  We are—”

She held up a hoof that made me pause.  She said, “Let’s wait for more introductions until we are in the Royal Reception Room.  My sister will want to meet you and I’ll try to get my bug queen out from her safe spot under our bed.  If you would drop your shield and follow me?”

Our party shared a look and we all nodded as one.  Shining Armor’s horn stopped glowing and the forcefield rapidly collapsed.

Twilight hurried to trot next to Celestia.  “I do hope we haven’t embarrassed your Queen Chrysalis too much.” That was Twilight for you. Willing to take the blame for something that was not her fault all for the sake of friendship.  “Will she come back?  We’d love to chat with her.”

The sun alicorn beamed.  “Of course! My precious little crystal-bug just needs a minute to calm down.  I’m ninety-five percent sure I can get her to join us again.”

I heard a banging noise above us.  Looking up, I saw the windows and outside doors to Celestia’s chambers slam closed.  All were covered in a green glow of magic.

Celestia’s smile slipped.  “Maybe sixty percent.”

This world’s Luna met us in their reception lounge while the solar alicorn went up to her suite.  The night alicorn traded small talk with us while getting some coffee into her system. About ten minutes later, Celestia arrived wearing a long, glum expression.  No luck, it seemed.

Needing to lighten the mood, I showed this world’s rulers my party trick. Celestia’s mouth gaped and Luna’s ears perked up.  I sat next to the white alicorn on a narrow couch, holding a teacup in the same manner. I said, “It’s almost like we were twins!”

Luna chuckled.  “Prince Wells … no … Princesses Celestia, are you amenable to pulling a prank on a certain changeling queen?”

I smirked, “Why else do you think I took this form and sat so that no one can see my cutie mark?”

The real Celestia smiled widely … were those hints of fangs?  “I love it, but how can we get my shy mate down here?”

I looked at Luna.  “Ask her if she realizes that my fourth wife’s name is Queen Chrysalis.”

The dark alicorn nodded then disappeared with a pop of inrushing air.

I turned to my doppelganger.  “Quick! Tell me how you would normally greet your wife in this situation.”

After a minute, Luna teleported back in and gave me a wink.  Moments later, the changeling queen stood in the doorway. She only had eyes for the two copies of her mate.  Both of us chorused, “There you are, dear!  Won’t you come and say hello?”

The changeling scanned the other occupants of the room and then narrowed her eyes.  She sauntered forward with no trace of her previous shyness.  Chrysalis looked into Celestia’s eyes for a moment before locking lips with her mate.  The kiss went on for some time.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luna taking notes.

After leaving Celestia breathless, the changeling’s gaze settled on me.  She pushed my teacup-laden hoof out of the way to curl up in my lap.  I did my very best to return the enthusiastic kiss as good as I got.  After all, the prank was my idea so I’d damn well better see it through!

After I don’t know how long but I’m sure longer than what Celestia endured, Chrysalis let me breathe again.  She hummed then turned to Penumbra.  “Not bad. Different, but not bad.”

“What gave it away?” asked Shining Armor.

“She kisses like a stallion.”

Shining and Penumbra fell over from laughing.  Penumbra’s nodding head made me realize it must be true.  “Really?” I said.

The bug queen’s forelegs hugged me around the neck.  “Entirely adeequate.  I have no complaints.”

I grumbled.  “I have one. You’re supposed to be shy.”

She booped me on the nose.  “I’m shy except when I’m with Celestia.  So don’t change back, please.”

I switched to my pink-haired Marklestia form.  “How about now?”

Chrysalis ignored the gasps of the Royal Sisters, instead tapping her chin with a hoof.  “Mmmm … no. Too immature for my taste.”  

I shifted to my short-maned and -tailed form.  “And now?”

She smiled.  “Sporty! I like it!  I think I’ll just snuggle up here for the rest of the evening.” Chrysalis turned to look at her now-frowning wife.  “Unless someone wants to likewise cut their hair short.”

Celestia’s eyes sparkled.  “I don’t think so.  No mare is worth that.”

The silence that descended on the room was broken by Celestia launching herself from the couch to make her escape only to be intercepted by a diving Chrysalis. Unfortunately, every action has an equal but opposite reaction and the couch toppled backward, sending me sprawling. I looked past the overturned furniture to see Chrysalis mercilessly tickling her wife who was shrieking with laughter.  

Luna gave me an apologetic smile and raised her voice to be heard over the din. “Please forgive them.  They still act like newlyweds.”





After we returned to our Equestria and rejoined Celestia and Steady Flight, we had a break for lunch. Trixie declared that she wanted to join us for the next new world.  As per our policy to always leave one Triarch safely back home, Twilight drew the short straw and had to stay behind.

We emerged into this universe's Royal Gardens to be greeted by a fairly familiar face. I say fairly familiar because Sunset Shimmer never used to have a billowing mane and tail, not to mention wings. The crown and other accouterments were a new addition too.  The alicorn raised an eyebrow at seeing us, and the other joined the first when Celestia emerged behind Trixie and me.  We all silently took each other in before she spoke up.

“I am going to guess that this massive magical construct is an interdimensional portal and you are not the Celestia of our world.” She looked back at Trixie and me.  “And I’m sure I would have heard of two other alicorns, especially a stallion.  Although, the mare looks familiar somehow.”

A bit rude, but not too different from the Sunset Shimmer that I knew.  I stepped forward.  “I am Prince Mark Wells, Triarch of Equestria, and these are my wives, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, Princess Celestia, and Captain Penumbra. Also, these are Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Kingdom and Steady Flight, my best friend.  We are explorers of other universes.”

“I am Princess Sunset Shimmer, Diarch of Equestria and Alicorn of the Day.  My co-ruler, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn of the Night, will be fascinated to meet you, I’m sure.  Maybe you can tell us about this Crystal Kingdom that I’ve never heard of before.”

This was the first time a pretty normal Equestria had no knowledge of Shining and Cadance’s domain.  That was worth figuring out why not.

Trixie spoke up. “Trixie would love to have a conversation with you both, although if Twilight Sparkle is the Night Alicorn, I doubt she would wish her slumber to be disturbed.  We could always come back at another time to talk with her.”

Sunset shook her head.  “No, it’s almost time to set the sun and raise the moon.  If she has not risen by now, she will soon.”

I glanced at the sun which was close to the horizon.  Oh, right.  Different time rate.

Trixie nodded.  “Then, once you have concluded your royal duties, we can converse for a while. Trixie is quite curious about your different history.”

Sunset frowned at Trixie.  “Do you always talk in third person?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is the senior Triarch and she talks as befits her station.”

My wife was laying it on a bit thick which is what she tended to do when irked. I spoke up to head off any further friction.  “I’m sure we all have our quirks.  Mine is always giving ponies nicknames.  Mind if I call you Sunny?”

Sunset stared at me for a moment before she smirked.  “Point taken, Prince Sparky Flank.  I suppose—”

“Sunset!” came a voice from above.  “Who are our visitors?”

A purple alicorn came in for a landing and I recognized Twilight immediately. Which is not to say that she didn’t have some significant differences from our own.  She was taller, for starters, but it was her mane and tail that stood out.  Like Sunset’s and Celestia’s, it billowed in an unseen wind and stars shimmered in the darker portions.  I won’t tell Sparkles this, but her counterpart was way more impressive than her. Better looking regalia too. Our Twilight was going to have to lift her game!





Sunset replied, “Twi, we have interdimensional guests.  That Celestia is not my teacher.”

Twilight gaped at us before a grin spread across her muzzle.  I recognized that look.  It seemed this Twilight wasn’t so different from ours after all.

Sunset noticed the other alicorn’s mood and headed her off.  “Friends, this is my wife and co-ruler, Princess Twilight Sparkle.  Love, these are Princess Trixie Lulamoon and Prince Mark Wells, as well as their Princess Celestia.  And the handsome unicorn is Shining Armor, Prince of a country named the Crystal Kingdom. Have you ever heard of such a place?”

Twilight frowned in thought.  “Hmm… A history book I read mentioned a Crystal Empire that once existed, but any records of it ceased over a millennium ago.  I would have to research it further.  Perhaps Prince Armor can provide me with some clues?”  She looked expectantly at the stallion.

Shining tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.  “You talk as if you don’t recognize me.”

Twilight blinked a couple of times.  “Should I?”

“In our world, I am your older brother.”

“Oh! How wonderful for that Twilight Sparkle. I have no brother, only a younger sister named Gleaming Shield.”

“Does she have a cutie mark like this?”  Shining turned to display his flank.

Twilight gasped.  “Sweet Luna! Yes, she does!  Is your special talent force fields?”

“Yep!”

Sunset chuckled.  “Now you’ve done it.  My wife is going to be geeking over all the differences and similarities between our worlds all night.  Let me drag her away for a moment while I set the sun and she raises the moon.  Then we would be pleased to invite you to dinner, if that suits you?”





It did, and we had a fascinating albeit necessarily brief conversation. Among the facts we learned were that Twilight had been Luna’s special student and chosen successor, while Sunset had been Celestia’s.  Obviously, there had been no rift between those two here.  Although this Twilight had been born earlier on the same day as Shining had in our universe, Sunset was still a few years older than her and had ascended to alicorn level before the purple mare.  But, just as in our universe, Twilight had ascended at a younger age, so there wasn’t too much of a gap between the two.  So small, in fact, that the two mares had gravitated toward each other, formed a relationship, and eventually got married.  Not that either of them wasn’t attracted to the opposite sex. Frankly, if Shining hadn’t been Twilight’s brother from another world, Cadance might have had to fend off a couple of very interested mares.  At least, it wasn’t me this time!

We parted with promises to bring our Princess Twilight on our next visit.  By then, they hoped to have learned about the real fate of their Crystal Empire.  Trixie left them with a warning about Sombra and we headed home.





Trixie was satisfied with her one trip to another world, although I gathered that she had every intention of paying Princess Sunset more social visits.  Those two had gotten on like a house on fire.

Upon stepping through the portal, I quickly realized we had finally rediscovered the world where griffons and ponies always married.  This had been one of the more interesting universes Twilight and I had encountered when chasing Starlight Glimmer through time. Unfortunately, we lacked the means of returning to it because Twilight did not have a suitable material object from there to tune into that world.  Now that we had found it again, I knew my co-ruler would be heavily invested in researching their history.

Judging by how low the sun was to the eastern horizon, I figured it was just after the moon had been set and the sun raised.  Therefore, it wasn’t a shock that our arrival drew the immediate attention of both of the ruling princesses.  What we had not learned from our previous visit to this world was that, although this Luna was recognizably the same as ours, her older sister was a magnificent huge griffon!





There was no mistaking the white pelt and feathers with their hint of pink, and she still retained an aurora-shaded mane, tail tuft, and tail feathers.  Her irises were the familiar shade of purple, but it was her kind and intelligent expression that left no doubt that this Celestia was no different from ours if you ignored species. My wife and the regal griffoness gazed at each other in surprise and intrigue before Luna broke the ice.

“I have always wondered what my sister would have looked like had she been born a pony.  Welcome, visitors from beyond this universe.  I am Princess Luna and my sister is Princess Celestia, although mayhap you knew this already.”

I stepped forward to make our introductions as usual.  “I am Prince Mark Wells, Triarch of Equestria, and this Princess Celestia is my wife. Captain Penumbra is both my bodyguard and my other wife.  And Prince Shining Armor is the stallion maintaining the shield that we won’t need.” I gave him a pointed look and he took the hint, deferring to my judgment.  I nudged Steady Flight to fetch Twilight.

Griffon Celestia said, “I thought Prince Armor looked familiar.  I must get a photograph of you to send to Cadance and Shining later.”

“You both seem very unsurprised at our presence,” I pointed out.

The sisters smiled and Luna said, “We received word some years back of a visit from a Princess Twilight Sparkle that was not of this world, and a green pegasus that accompanied her.”  She looked me up and down.  “There was no mention of an alicorn stallion though.”

“That was me.  I ascended later.”  Steady and Twilight stepped through the portal just then.  “And you can ask Twilight to confirm that.”

Twilight’s eyes had already latched onto Celestia’s griffon counterpart though and I doubt the gaping alicorn had heard me say anything.  Without a word, the two rushed forward to embrace each other. Accompanied by little hops, the two demonstrated their joy – one with whoops and the other with screeches. Yes, both were definitely cut from the same bolt of cloth as their lookalikes.

Luna laughed.  “I believe I have seen enough proof.  Would you care to join us for the morning repast?  We may converse some more while we break our fast.”





“So, you say that griffons and ponies intermarrying is a rarity in your world? How did your species survive?” Grifflestia asked.

“What do you mean?” our Celestia replied.  “Both our species are thriving in our universe.”  The griffon shook her head in amazement.  The white alicorn continued, “What happened in yours?”

“Both of our kind were in peril of dying out.  The pony tribes were producing ever more female foals, while the griffons had the opposite problem.  It was obviously worse for them because a clawful of hens can’t sustain a population. And while a single stallion can impregnate many mares, that does not mean they want to, especially if they want to focus their affections on just one.  The pony population level was dropping, although not as fast as that of the griffons who, within a few more generations, would likely have become a memory.”

I said, “So, what made your ancestors think that they could breed with another species instead?”

Luna replied, “This started so long ago that history is not clear on it.  It certainly predates my sister and me by centuries.  However, researchers believe that desperate mares went looking for male mates and found the equally desperate griffon cocks more than willing.  No pony or griff expected their unions to be fruitful, but foals and cubs came anyway.  With those results, more and more interspecies mating began to happen.  Griffon cubs were born as frequently as pony foals, despite the species of the mother.”

Grifflestia said, “You can imagine how the mindsets of both races have evolved over time.  When your chances of finding someone to form a relationship with is far greater with a member of the other species, you start looking for what is desirable in them. Eventually, ponies started preferring griffon mates and vice versa.  Oh, there are still a few same-species couples, but they are as uncommon as I suspect your world’s mixed-species couples probably are.  I personally might admire a handsome griffon cock, but a stallion has him beat for sex appeal every time.”

Thankfully, she was looking Shining’s way when she said that, rather than mine for a change.

“ ‘Tis true,” Luna said with a nod.  “I miss my husband’s proud beak and shiny talons.”

“Husband?!” exclaimed Twilight.  “Can we meet him?”

“Alas, he is away on ambassadorial duties.  I would be proud to introduce Satin Plume to you otherwise.”

I exchanged glances with Twilight and my Celestia.  Satin was still consort to a princess in this world, but we were all wondering how Gilda would take the news of exactly which princess!

Twilight said, “I would love to study the dynamics of your interspecies relationships.  Would it be possible to meet up with your scholars, and perhaps some willing couples?”

Grifflestia nodded thoughtfully.  “Actually, I believe our scholars would be equally interested in how your society developed without the need for recourse to our solution.  I will have a word with the Dean of Canterlot University on the matter.  As for couples, I have one already in mind.  One of my maids-in-waiting is currently on maternity leave and due to give birth very soon.  Her husband, Arvid, has taken time off from his job to care for her.  Magnolia has been complaining of being bored as she is not able to do much physically due to bearing twins, so I bet she would be glad of something to occupy her mind.  The two have been happily married for several years and should be a good example of a griffon-pony couple.”

“That sounds perfect.  Please pass on my regards and my request for an interview.”





Magnolia shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable despite her gravid belly. “My ears are burning – someone must be talking about me.”

Arvid looked up from the book he was reading next to his mare.  “Are you sure it isn’t just another pregnancy symptom, dear?”

“Oh, hush, Featherduster!”









Luna said, “I will arrange that for you before I go to bed, sister.  It’s time for you to prepare for Day Court.”

Grifflestia nodded.  “Alas, Luna is correct.  I would love to continue chatting, but a diarch’s work is never done, as well you know.”

I said, “We’ll leave a couple of enchanted gems with you to create stable permanent portals between our worlds.  We can schedule a more formal meeting at a later date.”

“And I’d like you to meet my sister, too,” Celestia said to her griffon lookalike with a mischievous grin.  “I have a little prank in mind, if you’re amenable?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, something like: ‘Dear sister! Do you see what Twilight's portal experiments did to me?’ ‘Don't lie now, I look awful, don't I?’ ‘Sister, I can't help this craving for raw fish. I need your support more than ever.  Would you take me to a Neighponese restaurant?’.”

While Luna frowned, the alabaster griffon laughed and swished her tail.  “My sister despises fish, especially when it's raw. Count me in.”

Celestia shrugged. “She might figure out you aren’t her tragically altered sister… eventually.”

Judging by her counterpart’s matching expression, I guessed the nickname ‘Trollestia’ applied to both mare and hen.





It had been a thoroughly enjoyable day of discovery and the source of most of the family’s conversation that evening.  Shining Armor stayed for dinner with Cadance joining him.  After the meal, we continued discussing what we had learned in the lounge room.  We might have chatted for a lot longer except that Loopy arrived about an hour later. It was immediately obvious to everypony that she was deeply in heat but showing remarkable constraint nevertheless.

“Husband, it is time,” were her terse and succinct words before she turned and left the room again.

I rose from my chair.  “My apologies, but this stallion has to do his duty to his mare.  Cadance, Shining, I bid you goodnight.”  I started heading for the door, only to see that all my wives getting up to accompany me, adding their farewells to mine.

When I arched a questioning eyebrow at Trixie, she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “This is no honeymoon tryst, Dowser. You are going to sire a foal into our herd, and that makes it a herd matter.”

In my defense, impregnating one of my mares normally happened when they were all in Season and in the mood, even if the rest used contraception to avoid getting knocked up.  It had not occurred to me that they would still want to be part of the event while not in estrus.  When we all trooped into the Royal Suite, Loopy was already on the bed, waiting for me, She appeared to be utterly unfazed by the arrival of all her co-mates, which backed up what Trixie had said. Did that give me performance anxiety? Heck, no!  I was a stallion and my mare was in heat.  Suffice to say, we would definitely be expecting a foal months later.

But when we were done, my other wives wanted their time too.  Whether they were turned on by Luna and me making love, or they were aroused by a mare in heat, they were all eager to have sex with me.  Yes, all of them.  Thank the stars that I had a pony stallion’s stamina.  I learned that evening that six mares was without a doubt my limit!

"It's good to be the Prince," I murmured as we snuggled together to sleep.

"King!" several mares reflexively retorted without thinking.

Ha!  Gotcha!


# # # # # # # # #

> The Queens' Dilemma
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight pranced in place as she adjusted the controls of the interdimensional portal.  She had found a series of parameters that guaranteed ‘an especially fascinating destination’. I recognized the song she hummed as the ‘Science!  Science! Science!’ ditty she broke out only for the most joyous of occasions.  My co-ruler’s preparations came to a halt when Nyx ran into the room.

“It’s not my fault!”

After a brief whispered conversation, the two teleported away.

With nothing else to do, Shining Armor, Penumbra, and I sat down to discuss our future foals.  Cadance was just starting to show her pregnancy while Penny would be a couple of months yet.  To spark debate, I tried to convince each to allow the other to name their future foals. Before I made any headway, my Leadmare appeared with a flash.  She removed her foreleg from her passenger, the changeling researcher Crisp Berry. While he ambled up to the control panel, Trixie kissed me.

“The Flexible and Competent Trixie will be substituting for Twilight Sparkle on this adventure.”

Shining Armor asked, “What happened with my sister?”

“That is a hive matter that requires discretion.  She may choose to share that with you if she sees fit.”

I heard a loud snort and turned to face Twilight’s head researcher.  Crisp Berry lifted his ever-present lab goggles and stared at us with his yellow compound eyes.  “Yeah, no. That’s not how science or anything else works.  Mistakes are discussed so lessons can be learned and not repeated.  In the eyes of Crystal Hive changelings, Nyx inherited her mother’s absolute authority, the dopes.  So when Nyx gave a particularly colorful insult to a guard, he took the order literally.  Nothing a week in a healing pod won’t fix.”

Rather than commenting on – or likely noticing – my wife’s death glare, the changeling snapped his goggles back over his eyes and went back to tuning the portal controls.  With a flourish, he pushed the Big Red Button and the familiar silvery mirrorlike surface appeared in space.  The changeling pulled a book from his saddlebag and sat down.  “ISAAC says you’re good to go.  Two hours is still the limit, though we can stretch it to three if necessary.  If you do, that will be the last excursion for the day.”

Two Royal Guards fell in behind me.  I had to pull a frowning Trixie into line next to me with Shining Armor and Penumbra at the front.   “Eyes forward, dear.  It’s …”

“… Showtime,” she finished, sparing only one more glare at the impertinent changeling.





On the surface, this dimension appeared pretty standard:  Canterlot Castle and its city where they were meant to be, Ponyville in the distance with the Castle of Friendship visible, all four tribes of ponies represented in their Royal Guard.  From this, we could assume most of the major events we knew had played out in this dimension.  After the standard greetings, four soldiers led us through the castle.  The stained-glass windows leading to the throne room showed recognizable scenes.

So far, the largest difference was the pair of insect-like antennae on the head of every pony.  Also, the pegasi and thestrals sported butterfly wings rather than feathers. I very much hoped I would get a chance to snap a picture of the local Rainbow Dash.  Posting that up around Ponyville would be a good payback for the last bout of pranks she pulled.

I was brought out of my musings as the throne room doors opened, and suddenly the antenna and the locals referring to Celestia and Luna as Queens rather than Princesses made sense.

No elevated dais was present.  Both alicorns sat beside each other but not on thrones because neither alicorn would fit on one. The Royal Sister’s front halves were recognizable, though both sported the same butterfly wings and antenna of this dimension’s flyers. Their back halves however were vastly different. Large insect abdomens stretched out where their rear legs would usually be. They towered behind the two alicorns and a curtain kept me from seeing all of it. However, from the sounds of moving hooves and infant wails, it was clear that the similarities to insects were more than cosmetic.  In this Equestria, ponies were truly part insect and alicorns served the role of ant queens, giving birth constantly.  Did this dimension’s versions of Cadance and Twilight lay immobile in their castles, constantly giving birth as well?

I was suddenly glad I had not landed in this Equestria. While I loved my children and Chrysalis had provided a couple hundred, she did not lay eggs constantly.  Having thousands or tens of thousands of offspring would have been a bit much.

The sun alicorn smiled.  “Greetings travelers to the Equestrian hive.  I, Queen Celestia, and my sister, Queen Luna, greet you.”

I stepped in front of my group and began my standard speech for these meetings, I had said it so often now I could probably recite it in my sleep.

“Greetings, I am Prince Mark Wells, one of the Triarchs from my Equestria.  I am accompanied by my wife Princess Trixie Lulamoon, my wife and personal guard Penumbra, and Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Principality.  We have come to explore, form diplomatic ties, and trade with your realm.  Also, to provide aid as needed to other versions of Equestria.”

Queen Luna narrowed her eyes and turned to Queen Celestia.  “Sister, mayhap Prince Mark Wells can provideth his seed for Twilight.  He doth fulfill varied demands that thy student set forth for a suited mate.”

“Hmm … Luna, I am not sure we can determine that just by his appearance and manner.  Twilight’s requirements were quite specific.”

Luna sighed and shook her head.  “Nay, sister.  Queen Cadance’s requirements were most specific, spanning a mere two pages in length.  Thy student’s requirements are beyond exacting, filling five score pages.   We both did agree such a stallion could never be spawned by us.”

I zeroed in on a part of that discussion.

“Wait, are you saying you can tailor-make a pony to certain specifics?”

Both seemed surprised at my question.

Celestia said, “Of course! This is an ability of all Queen Alicorns.  We can birth whatever the hive needs, be it drones, soldiers, male consorts, or princesses to expand the hive.  Is it different for the ponies in your dimension? Were you not birthed to your Princely station to be a diplomat and breeding stock for your Queens?”

Penumbra cracked up at that statement, letting out a small chuckle.  She had made a licking motion on her hoof and pantomimed adding another tally mark to a list. I wasn’t sure whether this was at my being ‘burned’ or relegated to Royal Stud Service.  Again.

I had to remember to invite Prince Twilight from the opposite-gender universe on the next few trips.  Was my being a male alicorn the source of getting propositioned so often or was it something else?

Trixie cleared her throat and stepped forward, drawing attention away from my still snickering guard.

“Ponies in our and many other dimensions are not crafted to our tasks.  Instead, we learn our special talent as we near adulthood.  Trixie would also advise against using my husband as a potential stud. His track record in producing unique offspring is well known and Faust knows what outcome this could have on your hive.”

The Royal Sisters looked equal parts discouraged and intrigued by this statement. Then Trixie did something that surprised even me.  From under her cape, she produced a photo album and proceeded to play the gushing mother role to the two Queens, showing them one photo after another of our children.  I had never seen her so maternal around other royals.  On the other hoof, our press reported many aspects of our children’s lives to the public; she had few chances to brag about our heirs to those not already in the know.

While leaving Trixie to bond and improve social relations with Queen Celestia and Luna, the rest of us took the chance to consult with this dimension’s Raven Inkwell.  While most events in history roughly matched ours, the details were different. Twilight was cultivated as a prospective queen and the element bearers were produced to be her entourage.  Each was created to fill a particular need in the new hive.  Rainbow Dash was a scout meant to locate a suitable hive location and nearby resources. Fluttershy identified and pacified fauna threats. Applejack handled all aspects of food gathering and production. Pinkie Pie did double duty.  She trained and organized the rank-and-file troops and acted as the steward or principal administrator for the royal household. Rarity filled the position similar to Raven, as right hoof mare.  They had lived together for all of their adult lives in Ponyville which was a training ground for Twilight’s future responsibilities.

We also learned that changelings were unknown in this realm.  Both queens thought it highly unlikely that a race of emotivores could escape their detection for centuries.  The origins of insect ponies were lost in the mists of time.  The Royal Sisters conceded the two separate races may have merged into a single species.  Could pony and changeling intermarriage back home lead to a similar outcome?  I made a note to discuss this with both Twilight and Chrysalis when I got back.

In this dimension, Tirek was an anteater rather than a centaur.  The Pony of Shadows took the form of a gigantic hunting spider, making me shudder at the thought.

As for the insect ponies themselves, they shared a hive mind that allowed rudimentary communication.  Strong emotions could be sensed from ponies nearby and from the queens at a great distance.  Equestria had only small outposts on the east and west coasts, not thriving metropolises. The smaller population made sense from the limited number of queens.

Trust Penumbra to notice and ask Raven Inkwell about the limited options on the food cart that brought in snacks.  The ponies in this realm all possessed a Pinkie Pie-level love of sweets, to the exclusion of other foods.  Even so, their desserts lacked variety.  Penny asked if Raven wanted to be the first to try mango ice cream, the fruit being unknown here.  If the emotion expressed by vibrating antennae matched the mare’s beaming smile, my bodyguard had made a friend for life.

The discussion between my wife and Queens wound down and the two looked at me again after their eyes left the photo album. Queen Celestia cleared her throat and spoke first as my wife rejoined our group.

“Upon reflection, we believe you would not be a good match for Princess Twilight, we feel it would be best if –”

Queen Luna cut off her sister. “If Twilight dost not view her offspring as experimental subjects by agent of the issue most perplexing thou doth produce.”

Penumbra coughed behind me to keep from laughing out loud. I couldn’t blame her in this case. I tried to steer this conversation in a different direction.

“Could our Twilight visit yours?  She’s happily married and has two children.  Perhaps she can convince your Twilight that her excessive requirements aren’t the path to a happy relationship.”

The ears of the two Queens perked at that.

Luna said, “Most Intriguing.  Perchance thy Twilight wouldst be willing to lendeth this gentle sir to ours. Since he hath met the standards of one Twilight, mayhap another will likewise view his breeding acceptable.”

I could see that proposal going over like a lead balloon with my co-ruler.  Also with King Thorax, but for different reasons.  While not the most clued-in husband, he knew enough to not upset his wife.

Queen Celestia shook her head.  “Sister, we cannot simply appropriate another’s mate. Prince Mark, we accept your offer to have your Twilight visit and talk to her counterpart in this dimension. The sooner the better, for this matter has been troubling my sister and me for some time. Twilight simply must be made to understand the vital importance of ascending to her destined role as a Queen.”

Luna hung her head at her sister’s words and spoke.  “Do not bethink us cruel.  In typical course, we would not be so stout in this matter. But potential Queens art not easily birthed and so few make shift to unlock their potential to becometh Queens.  T’was my brief rebellion as Nightmare Moon that I did evolve from princess to queen. Thus, I could spawn soldiers and princesses legion.  Mine own sister was compelled to do likewise.  To mine everlasting shame, the greatest part of our most wonderous progeny was squandered.  Through my exile, my sister was hard-pressed to replaceth these folk.  So many did fail to achieveth their potential.  Before Twilight, a mare most promising named Sunset Shimmer did vanish.  T’was Twilight who discovered her in a forgotten realm.  The princess refuseth to return to become a Queen.  We fear she hath swayed Twilight’s reluctance even moreso.”

Celestia said, “We haven’t told my faithful student so as not to pressure her further, but soon my sister and I shall exhaust our supply of eggs. We will no longer be able to produce more ponies and have to retire.  That would place the full strain of maintaining our race upon Cadance alone. I know from experience that this burden is more than any single Queen should have to bear.”

So this was more than a matter of getting Twilight to start dating.  The potential future of this whole dimension’s population could be at risk.  Glancing at Trixie, I saw the expected resolve and sympathy in her eyes.  After all, this was not the first time I and my fellow Triarchs had this responsibility.

My wife said, “Trixie can’t promise anything, but we will try our best to help you.  Our Twilight can call on yours along with our own dimension’s Princess Cadance.” Trixie arched an eyebrow at Shining Armor who nodded.

I said, “Our Princess of Friendship has a very competent team of researchers who will study your predicament.  They may come up with novel solutions to your problem.  In the meantime, I would like a copy of Twilight’s list of requirements.  I may have an idea…”





After returning to our realm, I found Chrysalis at her desk next to my office.  I waved her inside and got her up to speed on the new dimension and its unusual inhabitants.  Chrysalis was intrigued by the concept of an Equestria ruled by bug ponies.  She was less enthused by my prospective solution to their Twilight’s dating requirements.

She shuffled through the stack of paper held aloft in her magic.  “Typical. Precisely what I would expect from any Twilight.  Only an iteration of her could produce such an insane list of requirements for a mate.  I wonder if ours made a similar list before falling for my spawn.  I shall endeavor to extort…”  Chrysalis looked up into my eyes before returning her attention to the list.  “… convince Spike to confide with me if his sister made a similar catalog of demands – doubtless written in triplicate and with at least a dozen revisions.”

I decided to redirect her from that train of thought. “I can arrange for the few unattached Companion-class drones to visit their dimension, though the likelihood of a match is low.  And I don’t want one to bond with that Twilight only for her to reject them because of her… ah… high standards.”

My wife snorted at my understatement.

I said, “Is there a changeling you know of in our hive that could bring all these qualities to a relationship?”

Chrysalis glared at me over the small book’s worth of checklists.

“So you want one of my Changelings to morph into the physical requirements laid out in this and try to seduce her?”

“Not seduce, romance.”

“With or without telling her what she was seeing was just a disguise? If not, then it is seduction, not romance.  Trust me, husband.  And you know Prince Shining Armor would agree.”

I frowned, unable to form a counterargument.

Chrysalis said, “Keep in mind that changelings can only bring the knowledge, skills, and attributes that they know into a disguise. My voice and appearance of Cadance were perfect; but my mannerisms and literally everything else were lacking.  Given a decade, I could train perhaps sixty changelings to a level of competence across these three thousand, two hundred, and seven non-physical requirements.  By then, I might have created a means to jam all that knowledge into a single changeling without killing it.”

I blinked.  “So only around fifty requirements per changeling?”

“Indeed.  Consider…” She pulled out a sheet and looked to the top.  “… fiddle-playing.  After becoming adept at the instrument, regular practice is required to maintain proficiency.”  She glanced to the bottom of the sheet.  “Or first aid unicorn spells.  Advances in this field of study happen monthly, if not more often.  Any Twilight Sparkle is most interested in the latest, cutting-edge research.  Even if such existed, I would need a half-dozen drones of equal intellect to our co-ruler to stay current and competent across this many specialties.”

My wife’s green magic cut out, dropping the list to the floor.  She scattered the pages as she walked through them.  “No.  The route you propose is unworkable.”

With that, she left my office and closed the door.

All right then.  On to Plan B.





I waited in one of the informal meeting rooms in the Castle of Friendship.  Soon, our world’s Twilight and Cadance trudged in, both wearing glum expressions.

“I take it the meeting did not go well,” I said.

Both shook their heads. Cadance was the first to speak.  “If anything, I think we may have made the matter worse.  At least we learned that this Twilight’s encounter with their dimension’s Sunset Shimmer wasn’t the root cause.  Insect Twilight is masking several insecurities behind seeking perfection.”

Twilight said, “On the one hoof, she doesn’t feel ready for the responsibility.  On the other, she loves her freedom to explore her world, grow, and learn by doing. Meeting Sunset Shimmer who willingly gave up the role of queen broodmother only made Twilight even more conflicted.”

Cadance nodded.  “Twilight is strongly ambivalent.  Her primary desire is to serve and protect her subjects.  The straightforward and necessary path would be to do so as queen. The mare has been preparing for the role her entire life.  Balance that against seeing how lonely Queen Celestia was in her duties and imagining herself experiencing that same fate.  Also, Twilight could not have saved those same subjects from Tirek and other threats had she been immobile.  She feels torn.”

I bit my lip in thought.  “I assume telling her about Queen Celestia’s and Luna’s looming infertility is not a card we can play to get her to step up?”

Twilight shook her head, “No.  I’m afraid it will likely have the opposite effect.  All that pressure falling on her withers might cause her to crumble mentally.  While she will still have her entourage of the other element bearers, Insect Twilight believes their friendship may change or devolve into a master/servant relationship.  If she had someone else she could bond with, that would help.”

I sighed.  “You confirmed there are no other prospective Queens?”

Twilight said, “That’s right.  There have been many princesses, but since the time of Luna’s banishment, only Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle have reached what Celestia and Luna called ‘the Cusp of Ascension’.”

I said, “And their Cadance is permanently stationed in their Crystal Empire….  Hmm.” I tapped my chin.  “From what you’ve told me, finding a suitable stallion is not the issue, just a convenient excuse.  Suitable genetic material could come from any healthy male.”

Twilight nodded.

I remembered back to my first impressions of Sunset Shimmer and Sci Twi from many years ago.  “What about their Sunset?  Could she be convinced to return not as a queen but as Twilight’s anchor?”

The two mares looked at each other in silent communication. After several seconds, Cadance said, “Possibly.  Although just like our Sunset, theirs is fiercely dedicated to her friends.”  She smirked.  “It’s too bad we didn’t find a spare Sunset across the myriad of dimensions my husband has visited with you.”

Twilight’s ears twitched at this statement, and she glanced at me.

I nodded.  “Sounds like a viable Plan C.”

Twilight turned back to her sister-in-law.  “That might be possible.  Let me tell you about the Mirror Pond.”





Another trip to the dimension confirmed the existence of said pool.  A long discussion between their Twilight and Sunset led to them both creating a single clone of themselves.  Two coin flips determined which copy of each would stay in their Castle of Friendship. Because of the virtually identical nature of the first copy, no pony (or insect pony) would know whether the original or clone became the new broodmare queens.  Our Twilight assured everyone that the genetic and mental degradation of any first copy was not measurable.  Big Mac (for Twilight) and Flash Sentry (for Sunset) would provide the male seed that triggered the process.  Our dimension supplied communication plates and daggerscale portals to mitigate the isolation of the new queens.





Today was the first day that our Twilight Sparkle took some long-delayed vacation.  She would observe the transition of her counterpart and Sunset Shimmer into larva-producing Queens.  I was certain several fascinating scientific papers were in her immediate future.

Over breakfast, Trixie questioned my hoof-on involvement and apparent fascination with the whole affair.

“Dowser, perhaps Trixie should have Twilight adjust the adaptation spell on the portal to this dimension.  Then the Great and Powerful Trixie can become a True Queen.  You will recall that in my wedding vows, Trixie promised you many foals.  This way, Trixie will far exceed the number provided by her junior herdmate Chrysalis.”

I raised an eyebrow.  "I'll be sure to visit you once per year to fulfill my husbandly duties."  Without pausing, I took a sip of my tea.

Penumbra snorted and looked at her senior herdmate. "It's taken many years, but I think my Apprentice in Snark is nearly ready for Jedi robes."

“Nearly?” I questioned.

“Nearly,” chorused Penny and Trixie.


# # # # # # # # #

> It Takes Six (prologue)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was looking forward to this evening’s Ogres & Oubliettes session.  Not because of the game itself but because it was the first opportunity I’d had to chat with Big Mac for a while.  Annoyingly, the stallion had not arrived yet, although he was not late.  Even Rainbow Dash was early and I chafed at having to wait.

At last, the farm pony arrived and everyone greeted him.

“Evening all,” Mac replied as he took a seat at the table where Spike had set out snacks and drinks for their pre-game refreshment.  “Had a mite bit o’ trouble with the plow this afternoon.  Slowed me down a smidgin.”

“Be glad that’s all you needed to worry about, Mac,” I said.

Big Mac raised an eyebrow.  “Why would you say that, Mark?”

“It has to do with one of the latest universes that we checked out.”

“Oh? Some sort of trouble you needed to help out with?”

I shook my head while smirking.  “Far from it. Let me put it this way – the return of Nightmare Moon went a whole lot differently there.”

“Oh boy!” Spike exclaimed.  “This sounds like a good one.”

Discord frowned and said, “Well, it’s just going to have to wait.  I’ve got the game set up and ready to go.”  He snapped his claws and we were all bedecked with our O&O outfits.

I sighed. It looked like I would have to wait a few more hours before I got to relate the tale that I had been dying to tell. Spirits of Chaos were not to be denied their favorite game.


# # # # # # # # #




Mark and the players might have to wait, but you don’t. 
This tale is continued in the new story – “It Takes Six”.


> SG-1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because we had not been having any success with finding useful technology in neighboring universes, Twilight decided to extend the range somewhat in the hope of encountering something different.  Right away, that’s what happened – before the portal even established!

“That’s odd,” Twilight said.

I looked at the controls for the portal generator but my inexpert eyes perceived nothing amiss. “How so?” I asked.

The alicorn mare frowned.  “The outlet locus coordinates are changing rapidly.  Something is pulling them to a new destination.”

“Is ISAAC doing it?”

She shook her head. “ISAAC can only come into play after the portal has been established.  I’m not sure what’s causing this.”  Before I could voice the first thing that came to mind, Twilight shook her head. “It’s not Chaos magic.”  She smirked.  “That was my first thought, too.”

Her eyes returned to three needle dials on the console. “Wait – it seems to have stabilized…”





“Inbound traveler alert!” declared the technician on duty.

General Hammond turned his attention from the group he had been briefing.  “Who is it?” he demanded.

“No identification signal sent yet, sir!”

“Close the iris!” the general commanded.  “Defense teams on standby!”

Segments of a titanium shield swung into position and locked into place over the rippling portal as soldiers armed with heavy weaponry poured into the gate room.

The officer to the General’s left said, “I would have thought they’d have given up on trying to invade our world by now.”

“I wish that was true, Colonel O’Neill,” Hammond replied glumly.





“The portal has been established, but ISAAC is reporting an obstruction.  Hmm… strange.”

“What’s strange?” I asked.

Twilight frowned. “ISAAC would normally relocate the portal but it seems to be constrained to one place.  It is seeking alternative solutions.”  She was silent for a long moment before she smiled.  “Ah!  It has resolved the problem.  Conditions are optimal.  You’re good to go.”

I rubbed my nose unconsciously before looking over to Shining Armor.  “That’s your cue.”

The stallion nodded and lit up his horn with a spell that would produce the shield he would project the microsecond he emerged into the new universe.  He then stepped up to the portal.





“Sir!  The iris is opening!”

“Who opened the shield?  Close it again immediately!”

“I can’t close it, sir.  Something seems to be overriding my controls,” the shield technician exclaimed in a panicked tone as he frantically mashed at his keyboard.

“Unrecognized travelers incoming!” the first technician exclaimed.

Hammond barked, “Set base auto-destruct to three minutes!  Second defense team to the gate room!”





I followed Shining Armor with Penumbra and Gallus close behind.  Loopy brought up the rear.  As per normal procedure, Twilight stayed back until she was given the all-clear signal that I would send from a device strapped to my fetlock.  Travel through the portal was always a weird experience, but something about this trip was different.  And so was the destination.  I stepped out onto a metal ramp located inside what looked like a huge concrete bunker.  Two windows on different levels faced me, but those weren’t what drew my attention.  The large number of human soldiers pointing assault rifles at us concerned me, even as more poured through a side door to join them.  Not that I was particularly worried about the weapons.  Shining had reworked his forcefield over the years to withstand Earth weaponry… just in case.  He could now easily block even the heaviest of handheld gunfire from dozens of sources. It was the completely unexpected situation that threw me.  When Twilight said she was extending the portal’s range, I did not anticipate it going off Equus entirely.





Everyone in the operations room stared at the visitors.

“What the hell are those supposed to be?” Colonel O’Neill exclaimed.  “Is someone sending us their livestock now?”

“Are their colors even natural?” Samantha Carter asked.

“No golden-glowing eyes, so at least they’re not Goa’uld,” General Hammond replied. “Doctor Jackson – any ideas?”

The man scratched his head as he regarded the bizarre sight.  “Well, despite their odd proportions and small size, they appear to be creatures of myth. The white one is a unicorn, while the green one and the large dark blue one not only have horns like the unicorn but also wings like Pegasus, the winged horse.  However, Pegasus had feathered wings, unlike the one down there without a horn. I have no idea what it’s supposed to be with those bat wings.  The last one looks like a griffon despite the odd coloration.”

“What’s that slight glow between us and them?” O’Neill asked.

Carter had taken a device out of her pack and was aiming it in the newcomers’ direction. “It doesn’t register on my instrument except in the visible light spectrum,” she said with a frown.  “The glow doesn’t seem to be affecting anything though, so it isn’t an obvious threat.”

“No, but what about that sword the griffon has belted to its waist?” Jackson pointed out.

“Two minutes to auto-destruct,” reminded one of the technicians.





“That’s a lot of humans,” Shining murmured to me.

“Yeah, and I think I recognize them,” I replied equally softly.  “They look like U.S. Air Force uniforms, which makes this some kind of military installation.”

“I would never have guessed it,” the unicorn replied drolly while keeping his eyes on the many guns pointed their way.

I looked around and only then noticed that our portal seemed to be constrained within some sort of ring-shaped construct with odd markings on it.  Alien-looking stuff.  ‘Crap.  We’ve wandered into some top-secret Area 51 shit,’ I thought to myself.  I turned back to Shining and murmured, “Don’t let your shield down until I say so.  I’m going to talk with them.”

“Wasn’t planning to,” he replied.

I stepped forward from the group, stopping just shy of the unicorn’s shield.  I gave those watching my best smile and announced loudly, “We come in peace.  Take us to your leader!”





“They talk!” Carter exclaimed.

“They know classic science fiction lingo!” said Jackson.

“They are impertinent when facing a potential enemy,” said Teal’c with an approving nod.  “They remind me greatly of yourself, Colonel.” 

After a short glare at the bald man, O’Neill sighed.  “There goes the livestock theory,” he said glumly.  “Now it looks and sounds more like someone’s practical joke.”

“Let me go down there and talk to that green… er… winged unicorn,” Jackson said.

“Good idea,” O’Neill replied.  “Let’s all make First Contact with the pretty fairytale ponies.”

General Hammond nodded.  “You do that. Abort auto-destruct countdown. Let’s find out what these creatures have to say.”





Four more people entered through the side door, ones that I had seen through the window. There was still one remaining there, observing us.  My pegasus vision could pick out his rank – a general.  I presumed he was in charge of this facility and he’d sent the four to make contact with us.  I checked out the newcomers – three men and one woman.  While they all wore similar uniforms, they otherwise looked quite dissimilar, especially the bald one carrying a highly unusual staff that screamed ‘weapon’ to me.  I didn’t get a chance to further analyze the group before they stopped in front of me and the man in the lead spoke.

“Nanu – nanu?”

I barely kept a straight face before responding, “Klatu barada nicto?”

A half-suppressed snort came from one of the other men – the innocuous-looking one.  The leader threw a frowning glance over his shoulder before addressing me again.”

“I am Colonel O’Neill of Stargate Command.  May I ask who you are and what you’re doing here?”

“Pleased to meet you, Colonel.  I am Prince Mark Wells of Equestria, and my friends and I are explorers.  Why we are here specifically is a good question because this was not anything like what we were expecting.  Still, it’s one of the more interesting places I’ve seen so far, all those soldiers pointing guns at us notwithstanding.”

“We tend to react strongly to peop… er… beings that force open the iris over the Stargate that protects us.”

I frowned. “What iris?”  Then realization hit me.  “Oh. So that’s what ISAAC told us was blocking the portal.  Sorry about that.  Busted my nose against an unexpected obstacle once, so now we have something in place to ensure that doesn’t happen again.”

O’Neill reached out to touch Shining Armor’s shield.  The other three humans sucked in a breath, perhaps to warn him of the danger. Before they could speak, the man’s hand came to a firm stop and his eyebrow rose.  “What is this?”

“A force field generated by my unicorn friend here.  Hope for the best but prepare for the worst, y’know.  A not unreasonable precaution in light of all those weapons still pointed at us.  I assure you that we are not here to harm you in any way.”

“What do you think, Daniel?” O’Neill said over his shoulder.

One of the other men stepped up.  “Hi! I’m Doctor Daniel Jackson.  You said that your friend is a unicorn, but what are you? You have wings like the Pegasus of myth.”

“I am an alicorn, an ascended being possessing all the attributes of the pony tribes, including the pegasi.  The same is true of my companion back there.  Then there’s my wife with the lovely leathery wings who is a batpony.  And last but not least, my son who is a griffon.”

O’Neill tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.  “Son?”

“Adopted, of course. Magic isn’t that good.”

“There’s no such thing as magic!” objected the woman in the group.

“I tend to agree with Captain Carter,” O’Neill said.

“I’m afraid you’re in for a big disappointment if you cling to that notion,” I replied.  “We would be happy to discuss it with you if you would please stop treating us as a threat.”

Daniel turned to O’Neill.  “We could learn a lot from these beings.  They could be the source of many of Earth’s myths.”

“It doesn’t mean that they aren’t dangerous,” O’Neill responded.

“Oh, you’re quite right, Colonel – we are dangerous,” I said, “but just to those who want to harm us.  Honestly, we only want to compare notes and shoot the breeze.”

“Could you explain how you locked onto our stargate?” Carter asked.

I opened my mouth to reply but hesitated.  “Umm, I’m not really familiar with the technicalities and I’m thinking you’re not interested in a laypony’s description.  I’d be happy to have our expert chat with you if we can do it in a more congenial atmosphere.  Hint, hint!”

O’Neill rolled his eyes and turned to face the soldiers.  “At ease, everyone.  Sergeant Mackey – choose three men.”  He nodded toward the bald man with the unusual staff.  “They along with Teal’c will be our guests’ honor guard.”

“Yes, sir!”

The colonel turned back to me as the remainder of the soldiers relaxed into standby condition. “Happy now?”

I smirked at his sarcastic tone.  “A reasonable compromise.  I’ll call our mad scientist.”  I touched the transmitter on my foreleg.

Before anyone could say anything more, I heard Twilight’s voice behind me.

“What took you so long to give the all-clear?  Oh! This is unexpected.”

I turned around to see that the impatient mare was looking around with keen interest.  Then her gaze fixed on the ring structure.

“Ooh!  What’s this?”  Her horn lit up and its glow suffused the portal.  “I see.  This is what hijacked our portal destination.  Perhaps we intersected its hyperdimensional links?  Hmm… what are those markings?  Some kind of addressing system?  That’s clever but limited to permanent installations.  Umm… judging by those chevrons, it requires seven symbols. You only need six though to reference a destination.  Why the seventh?  Oh! Point of origin, naturally.  Now all you need is a directory.”  Twilight turned around and said to no one in particular, “Can anyone tell me where these portals go to?”

Daniel blinked and said, “Are you saying that you’ve never seen a stargate before?”

“Not until a couple of minutes ago,” I replied.

Carter gaped in shock. “Did that… um… alicorn figure out how a stargate works in seconds?  That took us months!”

I shrugged. “Meet our resident nerd, Princess Twilight Sparkle.  It helps that she’s the foremost expert on portals in Equestria.”

“Aha ! I knew I’d seen this before.” Twilight turned to beam at me.  “Mark, do you remember the construct Discord used to return from the draconequus dimension?  I … uh …” After a sheepish glance at the people in the room, she lowered her voice.  “… had a glass of wine before he made his grand entrance.  Wasn’t paying enough attention to his fantasies at the time.” From the wide-eyed looks on the soldiers’ faces, I was pretty sure they heard her.

Carter turned to O’Neill.  “Colonel, we have to learn more about what they know!”  Their ‘Discord’ sounds like a subject matter expert.  Let’s ask for their help.”

Everyone in our party held our collective breaths.  When nothing happened, we let it out with a relieved sigh.  

The Colonel looked at me with a questioning expression and I said, “I said we’ll behave.  Pinkie Promise.”

He looked at my hooves and said, “You don’t even have pinkies.”

“Oh, we have a Pinkie alright, and one is more than enough.”

O’Neill didn’t appear to know what to make of my cryptic comment but he made up his mind anyway. He turned to the observation window and called out, “All clear!”

The general nodded and his voice came over the P.A. system, “Security squads stand down. Colonel, bring our guests to the briefing room.”

As the soldiers headed for the nearest exit, I nodded at Shining Armor who dropped his shield. I then said to our hosts, “Lead the way.”

The sergeant and his soldiers took up the rear as we were led further into the building.  I had fully expected it considering that we were in a military facility.  Not that they stood a chance against us, but whatever gave them reassurance.

We were met in the briefing room by the general who introduced himself.  “I am General George Hammond in charge of Stargate Command. Please take a seat.”

While the chairs weren’t made for ponies, we could still hop up on them and squat down due to our size.  Penny, still on duty, chose to remain standing.  Until Caleb had arrived in Equestria, I hadn’t known for sure of our size relative to humans, but it was pretty clear now that we ponies were small compared to them.  All except Luna, of course, who opted to sit on the floor instead.

I spoke up.  “I suppose a round of introductions are in order. I am Prince Mark Wells, Triarch of Equestria.  The purple alicorn is Princess Twilight Sparkle, also a Triarch of Equestria.”

“Pardon me,” Daniel said, “What is a triarch?”

“Just as a king or queen is a monarch – someone who rules alone, a triarchy is ruled by three. And a diarchy is ruled by two, such as the world Princess Luna calls home.  My wife, Princess Trixie Lulamoon makes up the third.”

“Are all your rulers alicorns then?”

“No, although it’s common.  My friend, Prince Shining Armor,” I pointed a hoof at him, “rules the Crystal Principality alongside his wife.”

O’Neill frowned. “Wait – didn’t you say earlier that the… er… batpony was your wife?  Yet, you just said Princess Trixie was your wife.  Which is it?”

I smirked at him. “I’m a pony stallion – I have a herd. Penumbra here is my third mate.”

“And I courted him to become his sixth,” Luna piped up with a smug smile.

Carter’s jaw dropped and she blinked rapidly, but Teal’c quietly nodded in approval.

Jackson said, “Actually, that makes sense if they’re anything like our equine species.”

O’Neill looked skeptical but nodded.  “Okay, we’re dealing with horses—”

“Ponies, please,” I corrected.

The man gave me an exasperated look before continuing.  “As I was saying, we’re dealing with ponies and cat-birds, so why are you speaking English?”

“Why are you speaking Equish?” I countered.

It was actually a question that I had pondered when I had first arrived in Equestria.  Our explorations of other universes revealed that this was an even more confusing question than on the face of it.  Not even other Equestrias spoke the same language as mine, but we still understood each other’s words.  Twilight postulated sympathetic magic and, without an alternative explanation, I went along with hers.  However, in making preparations for open relationships with my Earth, we found that this only worked for English-speaking peoples and not for any other language. Twilight modified her hypothesis to say that the sympathetic magic fixated on the first language it encountered. Since we did not wish to appear biased toward any nation or culture, this had led the alicorn nerd to work on a translation spell.  It had taken her years before she had perfected it and incorporated it into enchanted talismans.  Testing had shown them to work perfectly, but so far, we had not needed them for a first contact. As far as these humans were concerned, we were speaking English, and my companions were hearing them in Equish.  I did not bother explaining that though – no point in speaking authoritatively on something even we did not fully understand.  I let O’Neill off the hook.

“Put it down to magical translation,” I told him.  “Yes, I know you don’t believe in magic but it’s quite real and very versatile. You’ve already seen Shining Armor’s force field and watched Twilight using hers to analyze the stargate.  I can levitate objects…”  I lit up my horn, lifted a water jug that was on the table, and poured some of its contents into a glass in front of me.  I then lifted the glass with my bare hoof with tactile kinesis a.k.a. ‘magic hooves’. “… and manipulate objects without fingers.  And despite what physics might have to say, our wings are more than capable of granting us flight.”

Carter said, “I was wondering about that.  May we see a demonstration?”

I looked over to Penumbra.  “Care to show them?”

The batpony grinned and spread her wings.  With one strong downbeat, she lifted herself halfway to the ceiling before assuming a hover. The lazy flaps of her leathery wings were obviously insufficient for that purpose which inescapably meant that there were other forces involved.

“Flight magic,” I declared.  “Thanks, Penny.”  I turned back to the humans.  “This and so much more can be accomplished through the use of various forms of magic.”

Carter’s eyes lit up. “This could explain so many things that physicists have been unable to figure out yet! We’ve been missing a significant piece of the puzzle all this time.”

General Hammond spoke up.  “I presume that it was with the use of this magic that you were able to lock onto our stargate and override the barrier.  For what purpose did you come to Earth?”

“Curiosity, mostly,” I replied.

Shining smirked. “It’s also his hobby.  I come along to cover his plot and the others are either extra protection or there as sightseers.  Although, my sister is always on the lookout for new stuff to learn.”

Twilight nodded happily. “I’m extremely curious as to where you go with these stargates of yours.”

Hammond frowned. “So, you’re telling me that you’re using a sophisticated and powerful technology just to play tourist on other worlds?”

“Other universes,” I corrected before adding, “Oh, I also keep an eye open for useful technology to bring back to our world, but yeah, I mostly do this for fun nowadays. It makes an interesting break from the business of running an empire.  It’s also a way of spending time with family and friends.”

The general raised an eyebrow.  “Then you’re saying that you aren’t interested in the weaponry we have here.  It has to be a lot better than the sword and spear your companions are wielding.”

I shook my head. “I know all about guns and missiles, General.  I even know about atomic weapons.  Frankly, we don’t want widespread knowledge of firearms in our world.  They would be of more use to criminals and despots than anypony else.  And you’re vastly underestimating the weapons we do use.  May we demonstrate?”

“What do you intend to do?”

“Show you the power of a mere spear,” I replied.  I pointed at a concrete wall.  “Is there anything behind there?”

“Only bare rock of the mountain we’re in.  Why?”

“Captain Penumbra – attacking cragadile!  Defend!”

Penny whipped up her spear and hurled it at the wall.  The room shuddered at the impact and large pieces of concrete and rock fell to the floor.  The spear was buried three-quarters of its length into the mountain.  The batpony allowed those in the room to take in the sight for a long moment before walking over, putting a hoof on the spear, and then saying, “Release!”  The spear withdrew from the stone as if it was greased and Penny showed that its point was still intact before stowing it away.

I said, “Sorry about the mess, General.  That wall obviously wasn’t for defensive purposes.”

Hammond pursed his lips.  “So, you want to avoid a battalion armed with machine guns – each bullet enchanted with that kind of penetrating power and programmed to seek out the heart of a new target.”

I blinked.  In hindsight, I should have expected a senior military officer to catch on quickly.  “Exactly, General.”

“Want to see what I can do with my sword?” Gallus asked with a smirk.

O’Neill rolled his eyes.  “No, we get the picture.”

I frowned at my adopted son before turning my attention back to the general.  “Anyway, we’re far from mismatched in terms of firepower.  However, that was not our purpose in coming here.  As I have said, we’re just explorers.”

Luna said, “Thou art being over-modest yet again, husband.  Thy expeditions canst offer aid to other realms, thus why I am here.”

I nodded and smiled to my herdmate in acknowledgement then faced the General.  “As this is obviously a military installation, it’s not exactly what we’re interested in.  However, like Twilight, I am intrigued as to what you need a stargate for if not for exploration.”

“Defense,” O’Neill replied before looking in Hammond’s direction.  There appeared to be some unspoken question and the general nodded in permission.  The colonel turned back to us.  “Earth is threatened by an alien species named the Goa’uld.  They have raided our planet several times over the millennia to capture humans to place on other worlds as slaves.  Those worlds are accessible through the stargates and we use them to scout those planets, looking for allies and gathering intelligence on the enemy.  There is a growing rebellion against the Goa’uld but it’s struggling against their might.  Stargate Command’s responsibility is to defend our world against that conflict and perhaps even help turn the tide.  And if that fancy magic of yours can work against their technology, then we could use your help too.”

My friends and I were silent for a moment while we pondered what we had been told.  Then Twilight spoke up.

“You didn’t build the stargates, did you?”

Jackson replied, “No, we found ours in the Egyptian desert.  It took months to figure out what it did and how to use it.  The first time we did, we almost got killed in an encounter with a Goa’uld.”

“So, you’re asking us to get involved in a war not of our making nor threatening us.  My title is the Princess of Friendship, and I am one of the Avatars of Harmony.  In all good conscience, I cannot agree to participate in your endeavors.”

I nodded. “Twilight is correct.  While we have weapons and soldiers, they are only ever used for defense.  We will never agree to send our people to risk their lives in somebody else’s conflict, no matter how noble.”  Unlike our allies in the House Path dimension, we weren’t warriors.  They had come to our aid against Grogar and we would answer their call in return if they truly needed us, but we would not otherwise fight their battles, let alone those of strangers.

“Is there anything you could do that would aid us in our fight?”  Hammond asked.  “Even those remarkable spears of yours could help.”

Shining Armor spoke up.  “The majority of our enchanted weaponry is powered by the mana of their users. You are obviously not a magical species and the weapons would quickly lose their power. A spear would soon be as useful as a mere stick.”

Twilight said, “What could we offer you that furthers the cause of Harmony rather than conflict?”

Jackson replied, “Er… if you know of some way that we can communicate with the locals on the worlds we visit, that would be a huge help.  I spend a lot of time trying to interpret their language.  It’s very difficult to work with them under those circumstances.”

I looked at Twilight with an eyebrow raised.  She saw me, thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Mark mentioned magical translation earlier.  We have enchanted amulets that will do as you ask and we’re willing to give them to you.”

“That would be marvelous, but wouldn’t they run out of… umm… mana too?”

“Weapons use huge amounts of power.  Translation amulets use only a trickle and can recharge from background mana.”

“Then that would be greatly appreciated.”

We were all carrying the amulets in case we came across a world where they were needed.  I placed mine on the table and my companions followed suit.

“Thank you,” General Hammond said.  “A good commanding officer knows the value of clear communications.  Is there anything that we can do for you in return?”

I shrugged.  “Since this will likely be our only visit, I’d like to get a souvenir photo.”

Twilight said, “Could I have a further look at your stargate?  I’m curious about the alien technology.”

Hammond replied, “Normally, I would say no, but it would seem that you already have a superior understanding of interdimensional gateways, so I can’t see the harm.”

Twilight smiled brightly.  “Thanks!” She immediately trotted for the door, her tail swishing happily.

The General quickly ordered a soldier to accompany her while I chuckled at her obliviousness to military security.  I then looked at O’Neill.  “How about that photo?”

“Seriously?” He sighed.  “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

All my companions except Twilight posed together with Colonel O’Neill’s team with the General declining to be included.  My smartphone caused quite a stir when I took it out for the photo.  That’s when I realized that this Earth was at least a couple of decades behind mine in technology, which made sense now that I paid attention to the hairstyles and design of the uniforms.  I ended up giving Carter a layperson’s description of the technology behind the smartphone.  Perhaps just seeing the advanced tech would ultimately help their cause, but I would not be around to find out.  A soldier took photographs with Daniel Jackson’s more contemporary camera, and O’Neill threatened to throw him in the stockade if copies of the prints of him with colorful little ponies ever got circulated.  That made me chuckle.

While everyone waited for Twilight, we were offered refreshments and chatted.  We gave the humans a general overview of our world and answered a few questions before we had to return.  Apparently, the stargate could only be held open for a limited amount of time, just like our portal.  We always had an emergency backup just in case – enchanted jewels that could be attached to a mirror to serve as a fixed portal.  However, I had no intention of telling the humans that. Some things were better left unsaid.

The time came for us to leave and I dragged Twilight away from her study of the stargate after taking a photo of her arguing with Doctor Jackson.  She was fated never to convince him about the safety of disassembling “just one” of the rune-inscribed stones to learn how it worked.  As we said our farewells, I asked Penny to give me her spear.  I then levitated it over to O’Neill.

“Here’s a souvenir for you.  It’s good for at least one shot before depleting its mana supply, so use it well.”

For the first time, the man looked touched.  “Thanks. Not sure if I’ll use it, but it’s good to have anyway.”

We then headed through the stargate for home.





Colonel O’Neill looked over the spear he had been gifted as Teal’c walked up to stand beside him.

“If I may, sir?” Teal’c held out a hand, into which O’Neill passed the spear.  The warrior spun the weapon around its axis, caught it, then examined it minutely from tip to base.  “Intriguing.” Passing the weapon back, Teal’c said, “Excellent balance and strength.  Lightweight but made of steel.  I suspect there is a honeycomb core in the shaft.  It is composed of an inferior alloy of steel that includes manganese and nickel.  I have only seen comparable metal in your ‘Railroad Museum’.  This ‘magic’ of theirs must provide strength and corrosion resistance because the quality is substandard.” 

Jackson groused, “Which means their weaponry will only get better as their metallurgy improves.”

General Hammond crossed his arms in thought.  “What are your final impressions of our visitors, Colonel?”

O’Neill planted the butt of the spear on the floor and said, “I think there was an awful lot they could have told us but chose not to.  However, I also think that Prince Wells left us some clues.  What about you, Captain?”

Carter replied, “We now know that magic genuinely exists and is powered by something called mana. We’ve been given several objects that contain and utilize that power source. We may be able to analyze and discover for ourselves how it works.”

“Agreed. General, my impression is that while they won’t help us directly, they have given us a way to help ourselves.”





As soon as the portal had closed behind us, Loopy said, “I am surprised that thou didst not give the humans more aid.  Equestria has much to offer those magicless beings in their battle.”

“That’s the problem, Loopy,” I said.  “The moment you involve yourself in a war, you become a target. Stargate Command has chosen to join the fight against a galaxy-spanning and very powerful enemy. I do not wish to see Equestria coming to its attention.  I will not risk the security of this world for another dimension’s conflict.”

Twilight said, “And yet you gave them that spear.  Don’t think I don’t know why.”

I smirked. “Humans are terribly clever – I think they’ll figure something out without us getting involved.”  I chuckled.  “If Phil were here, he’d accuse me of intentionally giving them a transtator.”

“A what now?”

“A Star Trek reference.” 

The alicorn nodded. “Oh, I understand.  That’s the show with the Foal Care and Parenting Doctor with the pointy ears.”

I tilted my head. Maybe she didn’t quite get it.

“Did you have to give them my favorite mage-spear though?” complained Penny.

I gave my mate a wing hug.  “I’ll commission you a better one.”

She patted me on the head.  “It’s taken years but you are now officially well-trained.  “You really know how to make a mare happy,” she replied with her trademark toothy grin.

“Not as happy as me!” Everyone turned to face my co-ruler. “I asked for a token item from Ms. Carter so I could fine-tune the dimensional frequency of their world. She gave me this!” Twilight spun a plastic bracelet around one fetlock, then opened it and held it up for inspection. “It’s both a bracelet and a pen!” 

Every mare gasped and rushed forward for a closer look.  Even Shining Armor whistled and said, “Decorative and useful.  I like it!”

Only Gallus noticed my frown.  “Something on your mind, Dad?”

“Yep.  I have a message for your wife.  Once we open full relations with my homeworld, her number one priority will be to protect Equestria.  Tell her that includes endless waves of cheap and disposable trinkets.” 


# # # # # # # # #

> Jurassic Mark
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This Sunday’s excursions would take place in Canterlot on the portal limited to two hours per dimension.  The new twelve-hour-duration portal would stay in the Castle of Friendship until it passed an extensive round of testing.  Also, Twilight and Crisp Berry were having trouble getting ISAAC fully integrated into the new portal’s controls.  With age, my co-ruler’s love of invention hadn’t dimmed, but her level of discipline had improved.  Gone were the days of wanton destruction in the name of scientific discovery.  Now, checklists and safety protocols were the orders of the day.  Personally, I would be happy to never see the shattered remains of another oven.

With every new dimension, I kept hoping to find an Equestria that was in some way more technologically advanced than our Empire. So far, only the House Path dimension came close on account of their amalgam of Equestrian magic and basic computational technology.

It seemed that fate was destined to continue to tease me with such hopes. Upon emerging into this latest dimension next to Shining Armor, I thought we had found another world where ponies hadn’t developed.  I scanned my eyes across untouched wilderness as Penny and Gallus joined the group.  Instead of softwoods and deciduous conifers, this world contained palm trees and enormous ferns.  Vines and moss hung from nearby branches.

Twilight trotted up to my side and craned her neck to see the canopy far overhead.  “Any sign of ponies or other intelligent life?”

“Not that I…” Right then, a mixture of all three pony tribes sprang out from the woods and encircled Shining’s shield while leveling spears at us.  “… Never mind.”

To be more specific, stone-tipped spears.  The party looked by all appearances like savages, down to wearing crude smocks of woven plant life.

“Who you that come from shiny hole in world?”

I focused on the speaker.  Beneath the dirt and dark stripes of camouflage, an orange earth pony mare glared at me with green eyes.  She had about the same build and straw hair color as our Applejack.  The mare was a little hard to understand because she spoke with a bit of a lisp, the result of the saber tooth teeth all of the ponies sported. Yes, that’s right – we were surrounded by saber-toothed cave ponies.  It took an effort on my part to hold back my laughter and resist yelling “Yabba Dabba Doo!”

I replied. “We have come from another world; can you take us to your leader so that we may speak with them?”

The cave ponies moved back to confer with one another.  After a few moments, their spokespony stepped forward again.  “We take you to Chiefs.  Chiefs decide what to do.  Now, follow.”

Twilight had recently added a portal lock feature to our gateway.  Only ponies whose bodies matched our dimension’s frequency could pass through when it was active.  This applied to all animal and plant life as well.  Thus, we could leave without fear of unwanted incursion into our Equestria. At my nod, Shining Armor dropped his shield and we followed the cave ponies further up the mountainside.  The warm, moist air carried the complex scents of the jungle surrounding us.

I kept wondering why herbivores like ponies would evolve to have saber tooth teeth. Then I noticed that two of the ponies were hauling something tied to a long stick. It looked like a pig, but this one was a vibrant and healthy green mass of foliage – like a green pig version of a timberwolf.

After a quarter-hour, we came to an elevated point where we could look past the edge of the jungle.  In the distance, I saw what I thought for a moment were dinosaurs. Then my jaw dropped when I noted they were all green: creatures resembling long-necked sauropods, frilled and spiked triceratops, and armored ankylosaurus were the few I recognized.  Everywhere, living plants were in the shape of herbivorous dinosaurs. It seemed in this dimension, the local plants had evolved to put up a bit of a fight. If getting a meal meant facing that kind of challenge, it might explain why ponies here were still so primitive.





Our guides led us to a cave and we were ushered inside.  Illumination came from a combination of luminous moss and smoky torches set in the walls.  Groups of saber-toothed ponies of all tribes went about various tasks.  Young foals in the cave weren’t engaged in play, instead helping where they could in their parents' tasks.  A team of unicorns cooked while other ponies butchered a plant monster carcass.  I averted my eyes from some tribe members making love off behind a crude shed.

I took this in as we were led deeper into the caves. The yellow earth pony led us to a large chamber decorated with crudely woven and painted banners.  What I decided to think of as Cave Celestia sat upon a roughly cut stone throne.  In place of her usual gold regalia, she wore a crown and necklaces of what appeared to be bone and uncut cabochon jewels.   Cave Luna was similarly attired on a throne next to her sister.

Their Celestia looked us over carefully while our guide spoke to her leaders in hushed tones.  The white alicorn then raised her head and addressed us – her own saber-like teeth not causing as much of a lisp as those of our initial guide.

“I hear you came to our land through hole in sky.  Why have you come to land of Stone Dwellers?  To trade?  Seek mates?  Or contest with us for this land?”

Luna said.  “Too many moons since my sister and I subdued and taken worthy stallion.”  She smiled around her fangs.  “I would not object to brawling with all three of yours.”

Celestia put on the same grin.  “No, Sister. Three against two more fair … dibs on white unicorn.”  Next to me, Shining Armor’s whole body jumped in apparent shock.

Luna slammed a hoof into her throne.  “Bah! Always with eldest privilege. Very well.  Cute beaked one looks exotic… and tasty.”

As relieved and slightly puzzled at not being the focus of amorous mares – for once – I needed to redirect the conversation.  I tried to speak as reassuringly as I could while enunciating slowly to match their style of speech.  “We have not come for any of those reasons.  We are explorers from a place far, far away.  Our… village seeks knowledge and to help our fellow ponies.  We hope to establish a friendly alliance.”

Luna shrugged. “Very well.  Mating play later.”

Her smile lost its predatory edge.  “Sister, perhaps strange ponies with strange knowledge can help the tribe regain happier times before plant beasts.”

My ears pricked forward.  “So you're saying that ponies here weren’t always living this primitive existence?’’

Celestia nodded. “Before my time and Sister’s time.  Oldest legends say this started when Chancellor Puddinghead tried to make salad with more bite.  How that made the plant beasts… a little unclear.’’

Twilight mumbled, “That would have been a doozy of a miswritten spell – equal parts genius and carelessness… perhaps with a lot of whiskey mixed in.”

Having seen the Hearthswarming Pageant and sat through Twilight’s lecture on Equestrian history, that sounded feasible for the somewhat mad Chancellor.

Luna took over the narrative. “Beasts laid waste to settlements, as they were built of wood.  Perhaps they saw them as bones.  While stone buildings were untouched, life in large cities became impossible.  Creatures attacked every shipment of wood, grain, fruit, or any other plant stuff. Now we live in caves.  They see plant eaters as something to hate and plants as something to protect.  We guard our fields and orchards every day and every night.  Ponies face death to survive.  Only good part is that beasts, when slain, are bountiful and tasty harvest.”

Gallus said, “So you’ve got a food crisis and a very hostile environment. Have you tried communicating with the beasts? Or used magic to undo whatever Puddinghead did that caused them to become what they are?”

Celestia shook her head, “Beasts attack on sight of ponies.  Fall to same traps and tricks most times.  No way to communicate because just dumb animals.  For magic, we can blast beasts with horns but just makes them madder.”

That last statement caught Twilight’s attention, “Are you saying that you haven’t tried using the standard undo animation spell on the plant creatures?”

Both princesses furrowed their brows at my co-ruler’s statement.  We both realized that magic here was as primitive as the locals.  Perhaps we could solve their issue rather easily. But then a question popped into my head that I just had to ask first.  “How do you two raise the sun and moon?”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow.  “We perform ritual of Sun and Moon. Sun and moon move.  Always done it this way.”

Twilight brightened, “Of course! Ritual magic.  Scholars theorized that was how ancient Equestrians first develop more complex spell craft. Could I observe this ritual?”

“Hold on, Twi.  Excuse me, Your Highnesses, we need a moment to confer.”  With that said, I pulled everyone into a huddle.  Without having to be asked, Shining Armor threw up a privacy bubble.

“OK, options, ponies.  Can we solve this or is this a problem we leave alone?”

Shining spoke first, “I think it’s worth a try.  While their numbers are small enough that we could relocate them, this is still their home.”

Twilight said, “A general reversal spell might work, but on the other hoof, these beasts have been magically evolving for centuries.  The base animation cantrip may have changed to the point it can’t be reversed, or is so different that every species or even individual would need a unique counterspell.”

I nodded. “OK, so that’s Option One.  Any other thoughts?”

Gallus spoke up, “Maybe they could domesticate some of the smaller beasts, sort of like Twiggy. That would at least solve their food issues to some degree.”

I nodded and Gallus had put another idea into my head, “OK, that’s Option Two.  Moving on to Option Three.  Sparkles, didn’t Fluttershy say she was on good terms with the Timberwolf Alpha Fifi back home?  Maybe we could have the two come here and negotiate?”

Twilight nodded, “I can ask her, but that’s probably a long shot.  Remember, while Fifi is friendly, he’s by no means tame.  It took Fluttershy and Zecora years to build their relationship with him.”

With no further ideas forthcoming, we presented these plans to the Cave Princesses and they agreed to allow us to implement them.





Sadly, our efforts didn’t produce the results we were hoping for.

Twilight’s attempt to use a reversal spell on the beasts proved fruitless. At best, it seemed to remove some of the aggression from the beasts, but not enough to allow for any form of domestication. Any attempts to cage the beasts resulted in their howls bringing in others in the vicinity to their rescue. That caused several injuries and the cave ponies were not willing to make another attempt.

Our final plan ended before it began. Fifi was unwilling to leave the Everfree to pass through the portal. Given the aggressive nature of the plant beasts, no one was willing to risk Fluttershy in an attempt to communicate with them.

In the end, we decided the best we could do for the locals was offer them passage to some other dimension or provide assistance to give them better protection against the beasts.

The locals didn’t want to leave their home and I couldn’t blame them.  We settled on Option Four:  Providing assistance.  For this option, we had lots of prior experience.

Thanks to instructors from the Royal Guard and EUP, the cave ponies quickly gained mastery of modern spears and swords.  A few weeks of training emphasized the importance of communication and teamwork.

Teaching them unicorn magic was a tougher challenge, with my co-ruler insisting on instructing the Princesses herself.  Unfortunately, Twilight was unable or unwilling to tailor her lessons to any version of Celestia or Luna down to the level of simplicity needed.  After her lessons had resulted in the Cave Princesses’ throne room getting an unexpected skylight, I suggested we employ foal-level instructors to start them on the most basic of basics.

After a few weeks, we could already see progress.  Healing and shield spells resulted in fewer serious injuries.  Newly constructed stone walls surrounded the fields and orchards. They funneled creature attacks into chokepoints where improved tactics and weapons stopped every incursion.  The cave ponies increased the number of hunts into the nearby valley and jungle and often came back successful.

A month after our first contact, the Cave Pony Princesses invited the original exploration party to join them in their traditional celebration of friendship. Twilight was beside herself in frustration – her favorite topic in the world but she couldn’t attend.  She and Thorax had scheduled a Hive Queen’s Summit at the Crystal Hive that weekend which took priority.  My co-ruler made me promise to tell her all about the “unique cultural approach to friendship” when she returned that Sunday evening.  After all, it wasn’t Mating Season in either realm “so this was the best time to learn their customs.”  That left Shining Armor, Gallus, Penny, and myself to experience the hospitality of the Cave Pony Princesses. 





I awoke in a jumble of limbs and feathers. A pounding headache made me groan, which was quickly followed by several all around me. Taking stock, my entire body felt sore – my stallion body.  At least that hadn’t changed at any point during the evening … or had it?  My memory was more than a little fuzzy.

After much shifting and shuffling apart, the five of us swayed unsteadily on our legs. Looking around the cave chamber, I spotted Penumbra calmly filing her claws.  Oh, right.  She hadn’t joined in the drinking at all, just hanging back like the professional bodyguard she was.

Cave Luna said, “Does…” then winced.  In a softer voice, she practically whispered, “Does anypony…  sorry beaked-one… does anyone remember what happened after third cask?”

Shining Armor opened his bloodshot eyes.  “There was a third cask?”

Gallus held his head in both hands.  “I remember tasting everyone’s… hooves?  That can’t be right.  What was in that stuff?”

Luna said, “Our finest mead.  Made only with best melt-away flowers.”

“Melt-away?” I asked.

“Yes.  All problems and worries melt away.”

Celestia licked the full length of both fangs.  What the heck did that gesture mean?  “There was… drumming.  No… matter. Sister, we must perform the Ritual of the Heavens.”  Her horn sputtered and she fell onto her rump.  “Later.”

I cast a pain-deadening spell onto myself then reached out to the horizon.  The sun and moon felt surprised by my touch but seemed happy to switch places at my gentle suggestion.

Behind me, I heard two voices say, “Ohhhhhh.”

I turned my head to see both princesses wearing identical appraising looks.  Luna said, “You must teach.”  Her horn sputtered as her sister’s had done.  “Later.”

What Celestia said sparked the ghost of a memory.  “I turned into Celestial form at some point.  There was dancing and I challenged Celestia to a drumming contest.” The path through my memories came to a cliff with only blackness beyond.  So much for taking detailed notes on cultural interactions.  “Penny, what happened last night?”

Five sets of eyes turned to my third wife.  She set down her file and looked us over.  “Truly, I am most terribly sorry.  I Pinkie Promised not to talk about it… or write about it or compose lyrics, make a painting, etc., etc.”

Maybe that was for the best.  No, almost certainly that was for the best.

I picked up the only unopened cask sitting next to a half-dozen empties.  After pondering what to do with it, I hoofed the powerful brew to Penumbra and motioned with my head to her saddlebags.  She dutifully stowed it away with a smirk.  She might have figured out where it would go.

After shared hugs and promises of future good relations, the Cave Princesses flopped down onto the woven bark flooring and began snoring almost immediately.  Not an option for me.

As Shining, Gallus, and I dragged ourselves toward the room containing the permanent portal to our Equestria, Penny came up to my side.  “I can give you a couple of hints.”

“I don’t think I want to know.”

She shrugged. “As my sovereign, you gave me orders I felt compelled to follow.  Also, you pulled off a transformation I had never seen before.”

I stopped in my tracks, trying to puzzle that out.  Penny continued without me, her tail swishing happily … and was there a hitch in her step?  I shook my head.  Either I was imagining it or Penny was playing mind games again.  I hoped.

Back in our Equestria, the first ponies I saw were a beaming Twilight Sparkle accompanied by her husband.  The very loud alicorn asked questions a mile a minute apparently without the need to take a breath.  Of course, she would be here.

I nodded to Penumbra.  She pulled the cask of mead from her saddlebags and gave it to my co-ruler.

I said, “Sparkles, all your answers as to what happened are in there.”

Twilight stopped talking, much to my relief.  She tilted her head as she studied the cask.

I trotted past, clopping Thorax on the shoulder.  “Let me know how it goes.”





That evening, my herdmates and especially Trixie were not pleased with my lack of answers. Penny only had to say the words “Pinkie Promise” to escape any questioning.  Ultimately, Chrysalis came to my rescue, saying my lacking even a shred of guilt vouched for my truthfulness.  I think I got off rather lightly, only needing to sleep alone on the couch for a single evening.  I won’t mention how many wives joined me on the couch at some point during the night.

I awoke to see Celestia on the balcony, performing her morning duties as the sun rose over the horizon.  As I drank in the lovely and naggingly familiar sight, I heard a *poof* sound above me.  Reaching out a hoof, I caught the scroll and opened it.

Dear Mark Wells,

What in the Name of the First Egg was in that mead?

To answer your question:  Even more energetic than when she returned from two weeks chasing Starlight Glimmer through dimensions.  Also, much more demanding and creative.

Not this morning, though. This is all she said.  “Not enough coffee in the world to cure this headache. What happened last night? I can’t remember anything past the first glass. Never mind, I don’t care.  I’m going back to sleep.”

You may need to set the sun this evening.

Your Friend in Harmony,

Thorax

P.S.  What in the Name of the First Egg was in that mead?

That’s when I realized Penumbra was standing next to the couch, also reading the letter.  I rolled it up and passed it to her.

She kissed me full on the lips.  “Well done, my apprentice.  More sleep for you as well.  Your mares hardly let you do so last night.  Your Great and Powerful leadmare will attend to Day Court.”

I smiled and closed my eyes.  All was right with the world.


# # # # # # # # #

> Out Of Order
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kept hoping that eventually we would happen upon an Equestria more technologically advanced than our Empire and that hadn’t gone in the magitech route of the House Path dimension. I finally I got my wish, and it made me wish I hadn’t.

It was the typical exploration day routine, waiting for Twilight to give the all-clear for Shining to head in first through the portal with the rest of us following after. Today’s expedition squad consisted of Shining Armor, myself, Twilight, Penny, and Time-Loop Luna.  As usual, Twilight would wait for the all-clear before coming through.

It was so dark on our arrival that, at first, I assumed this might be a victorious Nightmare Moon scenario dimension.  I quickly realized that the darkness was the result of ominous clouds cutting off almost all light from the heavens.  The piercing stench of chemicals filled the air, bringing back unpleasant memories of an accident in my high school Chemistry lab course.
…
Yes, it was my accident caused by my clumsiness.  Happy now?
…
Anyway, no ponies – guards or otherwise – appeared to greet us, another bad sign. Given the lack of company or any visible threat, Shining dropped his shield. When my eyes adjusted to the gloom, my pegasus vision could see tall buildings in the distance.  Dozens of skyscrapers ascended into the clouds above Downtown Canterlot.  A look down the valley towards Ponyville revealed smoke stacks that denoted modern factories. It took a second before I noticed the lack of something.  The Everfree Forest was gone.  Only a landscape of scattered stumps stretched into the distance.

While I was taking in the sights, I felt a tickling at the back of my throat which quickly grew until I coughed uncontrollably.  Looking at my companions, I saw everyone else doing the same.  It was then that I realized why those clouds in the sky must be so dark and why all of the vegetation I could see was dead.

“Back through the portal, NOW!”

No one argued with me. I wasn’t sure if it was due to my tone of voice or because none of them could stop coughing long enough to ask me why.

Back home with the portal closed, the coughing fits began to subside.

“So *cough* why the sudden *cough* return order, Mark?” Shining asked.

“Because we were choking on smog or some other *cough* deadly gas in the air. Did you see how all of the vegetation looked dead? I think that world industrialized to the point of ecological disaster. The clouds were probably *cough* full of acid rain that killed the vegetation which could no longer scrub the carbon dioxide or whatever other toxins there are from the air anymore. The locals choked to death if starvation didn’t kill them first.”

Loopy asked, “I thought *cough* thy ISAAC would provide warning of such dangers.”

Twilight frowned as she pored over her controls.  “It should have!  Other than the air having near-zero humidity, there wasn’t anything unusual about the atmosphere. ISAAC searches for strong acids or bases in the air along with excessive particulate matter.”

I remembered back to my environmental sciences elective course in college. “That might not have helped. Ozone is fairly neutral until it reacts with water.  The same for sulphur dioxide which turns into sulphuric acid, but that would only happen in our lungs.  This is the first post-industrial wasteland we’ve encountered.  ISAAC didn’t know what to look for.”

Shining asked, “So we mark it as a dangerous destination then and move on?”

I shook my head, “No.  Not yet, at least.  Did anyone see lights in or on any of the buildings?”  Everypony shook their heads.  “Me neither.  But I also didn’t notice buildings collapsing from decay, so what we’ve seen may be a recent development.”

“I want to make at least one more trip with a few set goals. First, confirm that there are no survivors.  Second, find out what caused that world to end up like that so we can avoid the same fate. Lastly, bring back whatever we think may be useful if only as an example of what not to do.”

Twilight nodded, “I agree, but we'll need to use life-support gear.  We can’t rely on unicorn shields to protect everypony, especially from poisons we’ve never encountered before.”

Given a few of the close calls on dimensions we had visited, long ago I suggested to Twilight that her research teams create contingencies for hostile environments. Soon, each member of the exploration team donned a hazmat suit, oxygen mask, and tank designed for ponies.  Then we paired up to double-check the fit and function of our partner’s gear.

The return trip placed us back where we had started in what once were the gardens of this world’s Canterlot castle.

To save time, we broke into three groups. Penny and I headed into the castle to see if we could find any official records that would shed some light on this world’s history. Twilight and Shining went to the industrial district of the city to look for anything useful technology-wise. Loopy took off to perform an aerial recon of the city and nearby Ponyville to check for potential survivors. I didn’t like her heading off on her own, but if any mare could take care of herself, it was her.

The dilapidated castle exterior made me frown.  Either my guess about acid rain was correct or maintenance had stopped further back in time than I had first believed.  We didn’t find any bones in the hallways, which suggested that the locals weren’t caught unawares by a sudden calamity.  There were signs of a hurried exit from several of the personal chambers with dressers left open and clothes and personal effects strewn on the beds.  All paper had largely disintegrated into small scraps or globs of brown goo – the acid in the air had done its work.  We would have to find out what happened to this world another way.

As Penny and I headed toward the throne room, I spotted further evidence that this Equestria was about the same tech level as my Earth.  Sifting through the detritus, Penny found thin black rectangles of what from a brief examination looked like Pony versions of smartphones. I collected a few better-preserved specimens for later study.  Flat-screen TVs and even vending machines lined some hallways.  I also noted that this version of Canterlot Castle was far more opulent than most, with gilding and intricate mosaics everywhere.  If not for damage from neglect, the place could have been a winning candidate for Better Homes and Stables, provided one had no taste.

Just like the rest of the castle, the throne room was empty.  Looking up, I observed that Celestia and Luna’s cutie marks were not present on the banners. Part of me felt relief.  The thought that any sane version of either of them would have allowed this to happen to their world disquieted me. Still, the displayed cutie marks weren’t unfamiliar, and quickly made it clear how this disaster had come about.

“An Equestria with greed at the helm.  Industrial waste was an afterthought and proper sustainability just cut into profits.  They obviously looked the other way thinking it would be somepony else’s problem to clean up their mess.”

Penny nodded, recognizing Flim and Flam’s cutie marks on the banners as easily as I had.  “Do you think we’ll find their bodies in the castle’s private quarters?” Penny asked.

“I doubt it. Knowing them, they ran off to some safe house once things turned bad. While in power, they likely surrounded themselves with yes-ponies and hangers-on who enriched themselves at Equestria’s expense.  Their only reward was to be told to flee when their bosses left, based on the lack of bodies inside the castle.  And that’s what they did, locking the gates behind them.”

I waved a hoof sharply.  “You saw the bones piled in front of the castle gates when we opened them. The common pony clearly had some choice words they wanted to have with their rulers. What both they and the Flim-Flam brothers didn’t realize was there was no running from a disaster like this. I’ll bet the brothers just died a little slower than everyone else.”

I turned to examine the remarkably well-preserved stained-glass windows that ran along both sides of the throne room.  Each depicted every race on Equus worshiping the two alicorn brothers who stood, reared, or cantered above the happy throng.  I frowned at the unlikely proportions of the wings and horns on the pair. Entirely too large for the size of their bodies.

“I’ll take that bet,” said my bodyguard.  I only had to tilt my head her direction to get her to clarify.  “I have my five bits to your twenty that their alicornhood was not one of the lies they pulled on their subjects.”

I snorted.  “Sucker’s bet on your part, but still too steep.  My three bits to your five.”

“Put your bits where your conviction lies.  My five to your ten.”

I took one more look at the closest window.  Their wings would have to be even larger than Penny’s.  “You’re on.”

“Excellent, my Apprentice in Pranks.”  Then her voice turned serious.  “Surely someone would have warned their rulers,” Penny argued.

“They likely did, and that’s why we’re heading down to the dungeons. I suspect that’s where they threw them. If we’re lucky, some evidence of what happened here got thrown in with them.”

Surprising neither of us, the dungeons in this version of Canterlot were much larger than those back home – a full six floors with over two hundred cells. The number of corpses still locked in those cells was the reason why.

The bones at the guard desk were kind enough to provide us with the master key. Oddly, a few full inkwells sat on their desk although there wasn’t a quill or scrap of degraded paper in sight.

The cell furthest from the dungeon entrance required the guard’s key to open the flap covering a narrow slot.  The other two locks had larger keyholes.  A quick scan confirmed that any preservation spell on the “Flim and Flam Lock Company” mechanism had expired.  I removed a hoof-glove and used my lightning magic to melt off the faceplates, revealing a simple ratchet, pawl, and deadbolt mechanism inside.  In a matter of seconds, I slid back the bolts, put my hoof back in the glove, had Penny check the pastern seal, and pulled the door open.

While any paper records on this world were too degraded to be readable, apparently this pony had seen the writing on the wall, or rather had inscribed on it.  Every cement block had been painstakingly written on with tiny letters in ink.  Dozens of worn-down feathers and empty ink pots covered the perimeter of the cell. Resigned to their fate and knowing they would never fly or see the darkening sky again, the prisoner had contributed their own quills to the task. They wrote their story of what occurred to this world and a potential solution that the prisoner had tried to present to King Flim and King Flam. At the end of her story, they concluded the damage was too extensive for that time-sensitive remedy.  We took photos for Twilight including a heart-wrenching one of the prisoner’s final words and signature.

“I write these words not for the ponies of today.  They have already spurned my warnings and sealed their fate. I only hope that some future creature finds these words and learns from our mistakes. Now my task is complete.  I lie down to rest as I wait for the inevitability of death our leaders have forced on us. I weep not for myself but for the future generations of all creatures who now will never be due to our short-sightedness.”

Professor of Environmental Sciences Fluttershy

Upon returning to the portal location, I found a grim Shining Armor and a red-eyed Twilight waiting for us.

Shining lifted his drooping head. “We found all we needed at the factories—”

Twilight cut off her brother. “There were foals… chained to their workstations to keep the machinery oiled. Small hooves for small gaps; I kept thinking of Nyx and Regis while looking at those tiny piles of bones. What monster would allow that?”

I narrowed my eyes.  “That would have been the esteemed rulers of Equestria, Kings Flim and Flam.  Their mosaics proclaim their grand plans to industrialize Equestria and bring wealth and prosperity to the common pony.  Their façade was confirmed in the last testament of a pony the pair had locked in their dungeon.”

Twilight let out a snort, she had all the signs of beginning one of her classic rants when Loopy landed and cut her off.

“I believe the Crystal Empire might yet be a bastion for any survivors. I can feel the magic of its shield from this distance. Sadly, that is because I can detect none other life or magics remaining to obscure my scrying.”

I took in Loopy’s words. It made sense. The shield that protected the city from the harsh weather of the North must also be protecting it from the pollutants in the air.

Penumbra asked, “Are you sure that means there are survivors there? Could the shield simply still be working on stored residual energy?”

It was hard to read Loopy’s expression through the gas mask as she thought. “'Tis a possibility, though dubitable. The Crystal Heart doth be renewed by the love of crystal ponies.  I doubt 'twould long survive their passing.”

Penny stretched her wings.  “So, we need to check on them promptly?”

Loopy nodded.  “Indeed. While the shield mayeth be preserving them for the moment, I believe 'tis on borrowed time.”

“I agree,” said Shining Armor.  “The Crystal City shield is designed to keep out extreme cold.  While it did an adequate job keeping out Sombra’s shadow creatures, that was an extreme strain.  The shield was never intended to perform air filtration.”

I tapped my hoof while sorting out a plan forward.  “Twilight – because air does not travel across portals, would you set up a permanent portal here?  I’ll arrange for a pegasus guard contingent in proper gear to set up a daggerscale portal between here and the Crystal Empire, preferably inside their shield. As I doubt the train or the rails are in working order, we won’t waste time on that.”

Everypony else nodded in agreement.





Two days later, the Triarchs met with the Princess Cadance of that world.  She looked a complete wreck – the stress of maintaining the shield for years having taken its toll. This pink alicorn had grey streaked through her hair and her coat was patchy in places.  The Princess spoke with a rasp and a cough. She had a desperate look in her eyes I could not recall ever seeing on a Cadance before.

“Shining was the one who adjusted the shield harmonics to protect us from the pollution in the air. However, the shield can’t keep all of the toxins out. It just filters out the *cough* worst of it. *cough* Most ponies die before they reach forty due to the buildup of toxins that do get through.” She looked down for a moment and sighed. My heart went out to her, but I didn’t interrupt her grief.

Looking up, she continued.  “Flurry Heart doesn’t have the strength to maintain the shield for more than a couple of hours, but that is enough time for me to recharge my strength. Also, the shield does nothing to protect our fields from the pollutants in the earth.  We lose more farmland every year to toxins slowly seeping into the groundwater.”

Trixie, Twilight, and I exchanged looks; this was a mare that had been staring the inevitable in the face for some time but still pressed on.

After getting a coughing fit under control, Cadance said, “At first, I thought your guards in their protective gear were some new horror that the idiot brothers’ strive for progress had unleased on us – zombie ponies resurrected by the various chemical spills, or vengeful spirits meant to wipe the last of us out.”

Trixie lifted her head.  “Speaking of vengeful spirits, has Sombra or his spiritual remains come back to try to conquer the city?”

The pink alicorn shook her head.  “No. When Shiny and I broke into the throne room, we found his corpse.  The strain of casting the spell that threw the city forward a thousand years killed him. We immolated his remains until every protective spell on his armor and person failed.”

Twilight asked, “Was his horn the last part to fall to ash?”

“I think… yes, it was.  The only piece to last over a day.  It did seem odd at the time.”

I said, “Be glad you were so thorough.  How did the Crystal Empire keep from being dragged down with the rest of Equestria?”

“Crystal City.  Equestria’s two rulers wouldn’t allow the crystal ponies to continue to refer to a single city as an empire. As for our survival, I have to attribute it to dumb luck. I was opposed to rapid industrialization – we were having enough trouble bringing the crystal ponies up to speed as it was.  We needed a massive influx of capital to import modern equipment and pay for industry experts. Not seeing that as a cost-effective investment, Flim and Flam left us alone to serve as a dumping ground for their less successful products.  Crystal City was their test market for this or that latest do-dad. Then the troubles started.”

“When exactly was that?” I asked noting the venom in Cadance’s voice when mentioning Flim and Flam and the lack of using their titles. I made a mental note to keep our local twin brothers or any other dimensions’ variants very far away from this Cadance.

“About a hundred years ago, Flim and Flam promised they were having experts look into the worsening environmental conditions, but nothing came of it. Instead of clean-up actions, reassuring signs appeared in the worst affected areas, encouraging ponies that everything was safe. Scientists other than the royal advisors published worrying findings and trends. The brothers addressed these concerns by recruiting those scientists into their think tank in Canterlot Castle.  Of course, after that, no pony heard from them ever again, except to see their names on news reports stating how their previous statements were in error.”

I sighed.  “We found those ponies in the castle dungeon. As to their think tank, I bet it was filled with horseshoe-lickers and other flunkies, not real scientists. Their job was to say whatever would appease the common pony’s fears.”

Cadance nodded, clearly not surprised by this news.  She began pacing. “After a while, the remaining environmental scientists stopped believing the lies. Because the Crystal City wasn’t modernizing like every other city, we became their haven.  Since then, they’ve been a boon, inventing environmentally sustainable technology and innovations that have kept ponies alive. I could almost kiss those two idiot kings for that at least.  Of course, that would be after I tear their throats out.”

Cadance’s legs trembled and she sat down with a sigh.  The burst of energy caused by her hate of Equestria’s former rulers dissipated as quickly as it had come.  “I wish I knew where their secret hiding hole was, but given it has been fifty years since they disappeared, I suspect it’s their tomb now.”

Trixie asked, “So you have no idea where they fled to then?”

“No. They kept that information strictly need-to-know, which typically meant only the two of them. All I can say for certain is that it's not in the Crystal City.  Shining and I had no choice but to destroy the rail lines and seal the shield, cutting off any further influx of refugees a month before the brothers went missing.”

“If you sealed the city, how did you learn of their disappearance?”

Cadance gave us a rueful smile. “We snuck a few ponies in and out on occasion, just to keep an eye on things. Shining was afraid those two idiots would try to use military force to get into the city.  It was the most livable city left towards the end and every pony knew it.”  Her head and ears drooped.  “I… I had to close the shield.  There was barely enough farmland to sustain the city’s population and the refugees we did take.”

I thought back to debriefing the guards who had flown out to the Crystal City. They reported a long line of remains of ponies that had failed to reach the city, along with a scarce few that littered the circumference of the city's shield. I couldn’t imagine the Tartarus that Cadance went through – having to watch those ponies die knowing she couldn’t help them.  It had to have been a terrible blow to Cadance’s mental health.

“There had been riots in several cities including Canterlot by then.  The hospitals were full of those dying from the pollutants in the air, water, earth, and even the food they grew. Ponies had grown tired of the brothers’ various excuses and their expert’s lies.  Shortly after Flim and Flam disappeared, we pulled our agents back.”

“If they abandoned their rulership, why didn’t Princess Celestia or Princess Luna step in to take over?”

Cadance looked up and furrowed her brow. “Who? It’s always just been the two brothers leading Equestria.”

Well, that explained a lot. It also made this Cadance all the more impressive if she had grown up under the tutelage of those two.

“Hard to imagine Shining Armor as the Captain of the Guard to those crooks.”

Cadence tilted her head. “Captain of the Guard… is that the role your Shining has?  Mine never did.  He was drafted into the Army due to his shield talent.  The brothers liked to use him as a guard when they went out in public to keep the rabble away. That’s how we met.  I admired how he didn’t bootlick to the brothers like so many in the palace.”

I motioned my head toward my co-ruler.  “You never mentioned Twilight.  Was there a reason for that?”

“Why would I?”

“I’m Shining’s younger sister in most dimensions.”

The pink alicorn covered her mouth with a hoof until she got a coughing fit under control.  After clearing her throat, she said, “My Shining didn’t have any siblings.  Birth rates were down. It was speculated in the press that it was due to parents being leery of having more foals with the cost of living going up. Thanks to palace interference, the true cause was kept secret, and publications were delayed as long as possible:  pesticides and other chemicals used in food production. 

Twilight put a comforting hoof on the pink mare’s withers.  “Shining Armor… what happened to him? You keep using the past tense.”

I hadn’t noticed that, but it made sense that Twilight had.

“He died twenty years ago from build-up of toxins in the lungs – a cause of death shared by many ponies. Is there anything you can do to help restore my world?”

Twilight winced at the hope in that last statement and Cadance saw it.  “I’m afraid not. Based on the research left behind by one of the real scientists the brothers ignored and locked up, this Equus has passed the tipping point.  Back then, it would have taken the concentrated effort of every pony working together to even have a hope of slowing the effects. At this point, it’s just too late. We have to wait and see if your world can restore itself given enough time — in the realm of centuries.”

Cadance’s ears laid flat on her head, a look of defeat on her face. Her wings sagged to the floor as tears filled her eyes.  “So there truly is no hope for us.”

My leadmare snorted.  “Trixie wouldn’t say that.  While we can’t save your home, we can save you and your ponies.”

“How?”

“Quite simply.  Our realm has discovered several Equestrias where ponies never settled.  The land is completely untouched.  Should you allow it, we could resettle your population on one of those dimensions. It will be a new start for all of you.”





It took far less time than I would have liked to relocate the ponies from the polluted dimension, mostly because there were only a few hundred of them left in the city.  Each spent a full month in one of the Crystal Hive’s healing pods, having toxins drawn out of their body.  In the end, Twilight declared that other than a marginally shorter lifespan, the ponies could look forward to healthy lives.

Twilight and I brought a rejuvenated Cadance and Flurry Heart to several Equestrias. Yes, it turned out that dimension’s Flurry Heart was a true alicorn, not a pegacorn like our realm’s.  Their Flurry was the Alicorn of Hope and had kept up the spirits of the Crystal City residents while their ruler spent nearly all her efforts maintaining the shield.

They eventually decided to emigrate to the cave pony dimension bringing the Crystal Heart with them.  The artifact’s shield protected a huge area from the plant creatures, allowing the safe expansion of orchards and fields into the valley beyond.  The mother and daughter struck up an immediate friendship with the Celestia and Luna of that world.  All four alicorns were delighted at the prospect of joining their cultures and ponies into a much larger and more sustainable civilization.  When I asked Flurry Heart if she wanted to re-establish their home in the new world’s far north, she politely declined.  “I’ve seen enough ice and snow for one lifetime, thank you, Your Highness.”

We did eventually locate the pollution dimensions’ Flim and Flam.  After consulting with our local variants, they suggested a few safehouses the brothers had kept secret in case a plan went wrong.

The two kings had converted a cave into a full-on bunker.  The heavy door reminded me of the entrance to the First Draconian Bank's safety deposit box wing.  The fourth set of potential code numbers our Flim and Flam had provided got us in. The hiss as the door opened told me the two had hermetically sealed the place.

Just like the castle, the bunker was overtly opulent.  Anything that could conceivably be made of gold was made of gold, including the toilet and toilet seat.  What couldn’t be made of gold was gilded to the point it might as well have been. After unlocking and propping open an inner vault door, we found the skeletal remains of the brothers collapsed in a treasure room. They had likely died by asphyxiation or starvation. Given where they lay and the damage on their hooves, it was clear they had tried to get out.

Pressing a glowing red button on the door caused an integrated display panel to illuminate.  It read:


WARNING
1 of 2
Problem Report: U-343
Description: Automatic door closing mechanism can activate outside of programmed time.
Priority: Low
Severity: Moderate
Repair Cost Estimate: High

Workaround justifying Low Priority:
Use Manual Release.


Pressing the button a second time changed the display.


WARNING
2 of 2
Problem Report: U-344
Description: Manual Release mechanism has high rate of latent failure.
Priority: Moderate
Severity: Low
Repair Cost Estimate: Moderately High

Workaround justifying Low Severity:
1)  Do not install Model FF-7 door for small enclosed areas.
2)  Do not operate door without certified maintenance personnel outside of enclosed area.
3)  Wedge door open until fixes are applied for issues U-216, U-278 through U283, and U-343.


Examining the red manual release lever, I saw a small red sticker with even smaller orange text.  Squinting, I could read: “Out Of Order”.  I shook my head at the irony of what had trapped them.

I heard Penny clear her throat behind me and turned.  She prodded the long, spiraling horn of one brother then picked up a humerus wing bone from the other’s skeleton.  Holding the bone up against the first section of her wing revealed it to be both thicker and longer.  After letting me get a good look, my herdmate casually tossed the bone over her shoulder. While I couldn’t see the batpony’s muzzle, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes let me know the extent of her beaming smile.

“Pay up!”

I tried to glare at my wife through the glass in my gas mask with no effect. On a hunch, I moved to the industrial shelving closest to the brother’s remains. I pulled the hoof-sized rectangle of paper… no… thin plastic from the pile on the nearest shelf. The bill looked as fresh as the day it was printed and prominently displayed the smiling faces of Equestria’s former rulers. It read:


BY THE GRACE OF THE TWO BROTHERS
THIS CERTIFICATE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS PUBLIC AND PRIVATE
100 GOLD BITS
PAYABLE TO THE BEARER AT ANY ROYAL BANK OF EQUESTRIA
AT THE KINGS’ ROYAL DISCRETION


I hoofed it over to Penny and gave her a few seconds to appreciate it. “Don’t spend it all in one place.”

As I turned to leave, I smirked. “And you now owe me ninety bits.”


# # # # # # # # #

> Have You Seen My Changeling?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

All this week I had been looking forward to taking a trip through Twilight’s dimensional portal, despite the inherent risks. Running the Equestrian Empire, consulting on issues stemming from Harmonic Composites, and laying the groundwork for Equestria’s future contact with Earth often left me strung out by the time the weekend started.  The prospect of discovering a new dimension was always refreshing and the perfect antidote for stress.

Today’s excursion would take place in the Castle of Friendship, thanks to the creation of yet another new-and-improved dimensional portal.  This version could stay open for twelve hours but was still considered experimental.  With so many parts replaced and improved, Twilight’s latest gateway bore little resemblance to the original model.  One unintentional (but not unwelcome) new feature was a lightshow hovering over the portal resembling an aura borealis. Twilight assured me it was harmless, as far as her tests could determine.  Still, the test run had to take place where lab technicians and resources were available “just in case something interesting happens.” When I told her how reassuring that statement was to me, the icy gaze let me know she caught the sarcasm in my voice.

The team today consisted of myself, Penumbra, Shining, Trixie, and Chrysalis.  In a rare occurrence, our dimension’s Luna had requested to join us as well.  She confirmed that talking with her sister and Loopy about the excursions had raised her curiosity.  My sister-in-law wanted to meet other versions of herself on a first-contact basis. Personally, I think she also wanted a chance to freak out alternate versions of Celestia in dimensions where Luna had not yet been redeemed.

With Shining in the lead as always, we passed through the portal into the unknown. We arrived in the castle gardens in the middle of the night, a fact that immediately put all of us on edge.  While this was not unheard of, some of these exceptions had involved unpleasant reasons.

The majority of other worlds synched up with our time of day. Twilight tried to explain this phenomenon in simple twelfth-dimensional terms, but I could never follow the reasoning that stretched across multiple blackboards of magic equations.  My brain invariably switched off and I caught up on my sleep instead, sometimes doing so while standing up.  I did grok the simplified version: control of heavenly bodies by alicorn magic.

A quick look at the moon hanging in the sky confirmed the absence of the Mare In The Moon upon its surface.  Either this Luna never became Nightmare Moon, she had been already cleansed by the Elements of Harmony, or Nightmare Moon had prevailed and brought eternal night.

We waited in combat-ready positions for a few minutes before I nodded to Shining Armor and he dropped the shield.  Our arrival was still unnoticed – not typical for most dimensions and especially those where either the Nightmare or Daybreaker were in power. In those cases, guard responses to our arrival were the quickest and most violent.

Penumbra was the first to stand down, “I can hear music coming from the courtyard and happy voices. I can’t fathom a tyrant scenario where we find a party on castle grounds.”

I relaxed at that, straining my ears to catch the faintest tone of music in the distance.

“Agreed, we won’t learn anything standing here.  If no one is going to come to us we’ll have to go to them.”

I briefly popped back through the portal to appraise Twilight of our status.  She nodded in understanding and resumed studying her readings.  One Triarch always stayed behind until we were thoroughly confident of a dimension’s safety.

There was indeed a party taking place in the Canterlot Castle courtyard – a Nightmare Night party.  Luna buzzed with excitement and could barely keep from hopping in place.  Her grin spread ear to ear.  “My serendipity is most pleasing!  ‘Twas expeditious that I come hither with my friends today!”

Around us, foals and adults sported all manner of costumes.  Throngs of ponies and a scattering of other races played games at carnival booths; food cart vendors hawked their wares; and a few stages featured acrobats, wrestling ponies, and a light green unicorn demonstrating illusion magic.  I firmly guided my protesting leadmare in a different direction, promising that we could spend time critiquing the mare’s performance, but only after we had gotten a lay of the land.

Penumbra broke out laughing when a passing mare complimented me, Trixie, and Chrysalis on our costumes.  Shining seemed a little put out. “Between the lack of guard response and no negative reaction to your Chrysalis, I wonder if this world has had fewer problems than our own.”

I shook my head and pointed to a large statue in a corner of the courtyard.  It featured the familiar forms of Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis in less-than-flattering poses.

I said, “Or they haven’t had any disasters for a while because they already cleared the board.”

Sally narrowed her eyes at the statue and snorted.  “… and have become over-confident.”  She didn’t seem pleased at the company her dimensional counterpart had been keeping and becoming a matching set of lawn ornaments with.

I turned to Trixie and Shining Armor.  “Let's see if we can get into the castle and properly open relations and perhaps get some details on their history.”

Unfortunately, the gates to the inner parts of the Castle were closed. The squad of soldiers ensured no festival-goers would wheedle their way into the royal residence.  Shining’s mood seemed to improve at this.  While the guards were unconcerned regarding who was on the castle grounds, security was much tighter for the building itself.

Shining tried to get us past the guards, but he didn’t have this dimension’s passcodes.  The earth pony sergeant smiled and shook his head.  “Sorry, citizen.  Your uniform regalia isn’t quite right, so no access to the castle.  Count me as impressed at your level of maintenance and polish.  That’s at parade-level perfection.”

We did learn that this dimension’s Princess Twilight was ruling on her own following the Royal Sisters' retirement and was in Ponyville to celebrate the holiday.  Before leaving, Shining barked out an order to salute, which every soldier responded to instinctively.  With military precision, he returned the salute before complimenting them for fulfilling their duties.  When he executed an about-face and marched away, he left behind a confused group of ponies, half of whom had not dropped their salute.

Returning to the festival grounds, Shining, Trixie, and I huddled to discuss whether we should just leave and try this dimension again next week.  That’s when I noticed that Sally had slipped away. We decided to return to the portal and check with Twilight to see if my changeling wife had headed back without us.

Twilight looked up from a printout with wide eyes, which confirmed to me that Sally hadn’t proceeded us.  “That was quick, but not as quick as when you encounter danger. Was this a world with nothing to see? And where’s Chrysalis?”

Trixie said, “To answer your first question, more of a scheduling conflict. It’s Nightmare Night in this dimension and your monarch counterpart is off in Ponyville for the holiday.  Combine that with the compliments for our Great and Powerful costumes and we weren’t making much headway in first contact.”

I said, “As for Chrysalis, we were hoping she came back here.  She left on her own at some point in the party.”

I realized my mistake the moment the last word was out of my mouth, I had used the “P” word while in Ponyville. Before I could blink, a pink pony in a chicken costume stood right in front of me. What’s more, kids began pouring into the chamber, all dressed in costumes as well.

Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs and threw her forelegs wide.  “YIPPEE! Nightmare Night twice in one year!”  She collapsed into a contemplative pose with her chin on a forehoof, gazing off into the distance.  “Good thing I listened to my indigestion and twitchy left front knee this morning.  Tough one to interpret, but then I remembered the tummy rumbles I got from eating all those candy wrappers last Nightmare Night.  I just knew a kiddo costume party was in order!”

I looked over at Trixie.  She shrugged and grinned, matching the look on Penny’s face.

I sighed and nodded to Luna who hadn’t stopped smiling since soon after we arrived in that dimension.  “I thought thou wouldst never ask.”

With the glow of her horn, a swirl of blue and black smoke engulfed her.  When it dissipated, Nightmare Moon stood in her place and let loose her evil cackling laugh.  “Come my faithful minions!  This year, the Nightmare Nights have been doubled!”

With a cheer, Pinkie and the kids disappeared through the portal with Luna.  I shook my head and followed, intent to act as another chaperon. Penny and I kept one eye out for Sally as Shining and Trixie likewise spread out to watch the kids. However, given the number of ponies in changeling costumes and my wife being, well, a shape-changer, I came to the quick conclusion that we wouldn’t find Sally until she wanted to be found.

While Penny and I stayed with a half-dozen older kids trying their hooves at the game booths set up in the courtyard, Pinkie and Luna accompanied those wanting to trick or treat at the various homes in this dimension’s Canterlot.  I recognized Lieutenant Wingover and Corporal Air Strike stepping out of the tree line. A quick discussion confirmed Twilight had sent them through to assist us.  I assigned them to look after the older kids, freeing up myself and Penny.

Trixie somehow managed to get herself a performance space when I wasn’t looking.  She was enjoying herself putting on an impromptu magic performance for a growing crowd of foals of various ages. Thanks to experience gained from occasional visits with my wife to the Canterlot Foal’s Hospital, Penny volunteered to act as her stage assistant while discreetly providing protection.  Gestures between Penumbra and Shining Armor confirmed that she had passed on bodyguard duties for my person to the prince.

That left me and Shining to our own devices.  I couldn’t help but notice that once we were separated from the ladies, our “choice of costumes” drew a great deal of mare attention. Shining had been approached by no fewer than three different mares in Cadance costumes of varying quality.  Each wanted to team up with him for the costume contest, with the clear implication of possibly more depending on how the night went. Shining’s blush got more pronounced each time, making it increasingly difficult to hold back my laughter.  “Popular with the ladies I see.”

Shining shook his head. “I can’t remember ever being this sought-after back home.”

“Not many mares would want to risk the ire of the Princess of Love.  Who knows?  She might exile them to Lonely-Hearts-ville forever. This is their best chance to find out how good a lay you are—the stallion that could satisfy the Princess of Love.  Even if they think you are just a very handsome proxy.”

Shining grumbled and looked away. “That better not have been Marklestia talking.”

That got me to laugh out loud.

He glared at me.  “You're enjoying this aren’t you?”

“Every minute.” I smiled. “Now let’s check out that costume contest those mares were talking about.”

“Why?  Planning to compete to see if you can get first place with your white alicorn costume?”

“No.  I suspect Sally won’t be able to resist entering with her “Sparkly-Winged Reformed Chrysalis” costume.  This could end badly if this dimension has anything like the changeling detection spells from back home.”

With the integration of Changelings into the general populace, the quality of ‘costumes’ at Nightmare Night had shot up. Of course, for changelings that just meant altering their form. A petition had come to the Triarchy to either ban or set up a separate contest after a four-year-in-a-row winning streak by changelings. In the end, we ruled that a changeling transformation was not technically a costume and developed a separate competition for them in Canterlot for Best Transformation. Meanwhile, the costume contest gained the services of a unicorn mage and Red Hive princess. Between the two, they would almost certainly detect any use of changeling magic.  Inspecting the area around the stage in front of me confirmed this world did not take similar precautions.

Shining Armor and I found a spot in the audience and watched as the contestants took their turns to parade on stage.  Each showed off to the audience and sauntered past the table of judges who were an interesting foursome:  A pony-sized Lord Tirek (who moved very stiffly), Lord Fancy Pants, Fleur De Lis, and a mystery judge hidden by a billowing cloak.

The contestants' costumes were of excellent quality and variety. We saw several interesting outfits including a wide assortment of alicorns, a few breezies, and an ursa minor.

The next contestant was announced as “The Finest Chrysalis In Any Dimension.”  That removed any doubt before she appeared from the backstage area. To confirm my suspicions, Sally spotted me from the ramp leading onto the stage and blew me a kiss. I sighed and settled in.  At least I knew where she was now and could keep an eye out in case something went wrong – which, of course, it did.  Everything went fine until the finalists were called back out to the stage, Sally among them.

It was at this point the judges came up onto the stage to examine the finalists’ costumes more closely. That’s when the cloaked judge tackled my wife to the ground.  As the two wrestled, the judge’s cloak was torn off to reveal Princess Cadance. I reached into my saddle bags and hoofed a gold bit over to Shining.  He took it without comment. We had a long-standing wager on whether Sally's inclusion in these dimensional trips would make things more complicated.  To date, I was out twenty bits on this sucker bet.

Shining grabbed my pastern with a hoof and I teleported the two of us onto the stage. Yes, we had needed to do this on more than one occasion as well.  Between us, we managed to separate the two combatants.  The local Cadance’s shock at seeing her husband in Canterlot gave us the moment we needed.

The pink alicorn berated Shining for abandoning their under-the-weather child Flurry Heart in the Crystal Kingdom, not giving him the chance to get in a word edgewise.  Eventually, she let me explain our origins.  Cadance gave the two of us the stink eye and a skeptical frown.  That didn’t change until we took her and the guards that had surrounded us to the portal.

Shining went through to convince our Twilight of the new dimension’s safety and that she should come through for a brief visit.  After a repeat of their bizarre dancing and chanting ritual, the pair hugged and gossiped.  Fifteen minutes later, Twilight reluctantly said she had to return through the portal to monitor the connection.  Before parting, they mutually agreed that official interactions could be left to our next visit when their Princess Twilight would be back.

While waiting for the rest of our Equestria’s Nightmare Night revelers to return, Chrysalis and I talked with the local Cadance.  We learned some of the differences between this dimension and ours. Like many realities, there was no version of me present and their alicorns never disappeared. The greatest divergence was a different clock and calendar system. Princess Twilight calculated the optimum amount of sunlight for crop growth, hence why it was now late evening on Nightmare Night.

Their Twilight also planned to form a herd with the other Element Bearers as soon as they could find a stallion everypony could agree upon. I immediately decided not to be among the delegation that would meet her next week based on my past track record with mares.

The pink alicorn’s mood improved when my changeling wife expounded on precisely how our relationship grew from a marriage of necessity to passionate commitment.  Chrysalis had never shared her feelings about me to this level of detail… at least with me present.  Cadance’s pricked ears and occasional glances at our intertwined hooves betrayed her level of interest.  Doubtless, this was her first chance to learn about a relationship quite like ours. After some time, Cadance released her guards to resume patrolling of the festival.

Penny and Trixie were the first to return. I noted the sound of jingling and her bulging saddle bags. That was strange.  Usually, she used up material from her “emergency performance” saddlebags, leaving them mostly empty.

I asked, “It was a good show then I take it.”

“Yes, the wise and enthusiastic crowd was most appreciative of your leadmare’s skill.  perhaps Trixie can give you a private performance tonight in bed.”

As tempting as it was to let Trixie’s good mood keep rolling, I felt compelled to bring her down slightly for the benefit of interdimensional relations.  With a swift application of magic, I dragged a bulging coin bag out of my wife’s saddlebags and set it in front of the local Cadance, “A contribution to a charity of your choice, Your Highness.”

“Dowser, Trixie earned that money!  And they still use solid gold bits as currency in this Equestria!”

“Which you don’t need and probably can’t spend back home.  I bet these have Twilight’s face or cutie mark on them – not legal tender. Besides, I thought you loved to entertain simply for the joy of it these days.”

The light blue alicorn smirked. “Trixie is glad you brought up such an important point.”  Her horn lit up and the coin bag’s drawstring loosened.  Two gold bits floated in her magic until they disappeared into her saddlebag once more.  “Our co-ruler will need an item from this realm as a record of its unique dimensional frequency.”

“And the second?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Souvenir.”  With that, Trixie trotted through the portal, cutting off any chance for me to object.

Penumbra came up to my side, chuckling.  “Please do not think I am laughing at you, Prince Mark.”

I finished the sentence for her. “You are laughing at both of us.” That earned me a smile and a wink.

Soon, Pinkie Pie, Luna, Lieutenant Wingover, and Corporal Air Strike herded a jabbering mob of youngsters back through the portal.  They were far too engrossed in discussing their candy and carnival booth prizes to notice the unimportant presence of a green alicorn, a pink alicorn, and a changeling queen.

Pinkie swished her tail three times, tilted her head to the side, then snapped to attention.  “All accounted for!”  With that, she pronked through the portal.

I recognized Cadance’s gobsmacked look, having felt the same on multiple occasions.  Before I could say anything to get her mind aligned to a more solid reality, the Element of Laughter pronked back through, quickly followed by Luna, still dressed as Nightmare Moon.

“Round two!” they both chorused.

A small army of teenagers followed on their fetlocks. All of my progeny marched after the pair, each wearing familiar attire from the previous year’s Nightmare Night. Sprinkled in were Regis, Nyx, and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.  Two of the throng peeled off and stopped in front of a gaping Cadance. Gemini looked like a yellow unicorn fire-mare complete with red suit, yellow helmet, and a length of hose wrapped around one shoulder.  Shiny Button was in his standard young alicorn stallion form.  He wore a transparent form-fitting suit with an accompanying clear fishbowl helmet complete with antennas.

“What?  What?” gasped the pink mare as she looked the stallion up and down.

For his part, Shiny Button smiled and called out. “Hi, Mama Bug! Hi, not Mom but Other Mom!”

“But … but …” stammered Cadance.

Chrysalis smiled sweetly… if you can consider a mouthful of fangs to ever be ‘sweet.’  “Oh, did I forget to mention? This is our progeny, Shiny Button.”

“OUR progeny?”

The young stallion laughed.  “You betcha!  I sure wouldn’t be who I am without my two moms!”  He followed this up with a bout of green flames that left him as a mare, though with a changeling’s slit pupils.  Right on cue, Gemini shifted to their male form.  Inwardly, I congratulated their foresight to bring costumes that worked perfectly well for either gender.

Cadance said something like, “Gurk … kkk … kkk”.  Her eyes rolled into her head and she slumped to the ground.

In another burst of flame, Shiny returned to his male form. “Oh, my goodness!  Is Other Mom OK?  What happened?”

Gemini tossed their mane as they trotted back to the portal. “She’s fiiiiiine.  I’ll go get smelling salts… and a good bottle of Eyrish whiskey.”

My Dad Instincts kicked in.  I called after her.  “How do you know about Eyrish whiskey?”  She went through the portal without answering.

Penny turned to Chrysalis.  “Most impressive.”

My changeling wife returned the same conspiratorial smile. “It is as I foretold.  And he accomplished this on an alicorn without even trying.  This gift must be trained, lest it turn to darkness.”  She lifted her head and narrowed her eyes.  “It is time.”

The two came up on either side of the young stallion and each put a hoof on his withers.

My batpony wife said, “You are strong with natural talent, but strength is not enough.”

Chrysalis purred, “You owe it to yourself to develop your abilities… to fulfill your potential and see where it takes you.”

Penumbra used a wing to force him to look her in the eyes. “Shiny Button, I accept you as my new padawan. Your first assignment will be to prank your father-in-law when he least expects it.”

I blinked. “Wait. What now?”


# # # # # # # # #

> A Steady Heart - part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As was usual for a Saturday, I was in Ponyville in my Marklestia form.  What was not typical was that all my herdmates were with me as well as my daughter, Pearl, and interdimensional visitors, Cadence and her wife, Chryssy.  My best friend, Steady Flight, had been accompanying me to my home away from home for several months now, and the final two guests were Fancy Pants and his wife, Fleur de Lis.  The latter was a sure indication of why so many had joined me here today – it was time for Rarity’s Summer Fashion Parade!  Frocks, swimwear, and other warm weather-inspired garments were in my future, not to mention the spicier gear.

We were currently gathered at Twilight’s castle, the venue for the event, having a light lunch. At least, I was.  My modelling coach Fleur De Lis recommended I eat sparingly before a show, investing my energy in strutting the catwalk instead of digestion.  And if my wives chose to eat lightly to maintain their gorgeous figures, I was never going to complain.  Besides, with less attention paid to eating, there was more time for conversation, and we caught up with the news from our friends.

Cadence looked over to me with a smile.  “By the way, thank you for using your pink-maned form.  With two Celestias in the room, neither of whom is my auntie, it’s a little disorienting, and I don’t have my wife’s extra senses to tell you readily apart.”

Chryssy giggled. “Until Mark opens her mouth!  She may sound like Celestia, but she certainly doesn’t talk like her.  I do wonder though – how is it that she can change her mane length and color when the original pony can’t?”

Celestia said, “Actually, if I use spells, I can emulate those changes, but it’s not an innate ability like Mark’s.  However, I believe I have worked out how he does it.”

My eyebrows rose. “Oh?  Do tell.  The changes come so naturally to me that even I don’t know how I do it.”

“First of all, I have a question.  Have you ever been able to do a pink full-size mane version?”

I frowned as I tried to remember all my past transformations.  After a long moment, I shook my head.  “I can’t recall any such occasion.  My pink mane and tail have always been average-adult- size.  Let me try…”  I attempted to go full-size while retaining its current hue.  However, as soon as it began growing longer, it switched to the pastel stripes.  Several more tries gave the same result.  “Nope – can’t do it.”

Celestia gave a satisfied nod.  “That jibes with my theory.  The chaos magic that enables you to take on my form doesn’t just take into account my present-day appearance.  My mane did not always wave like this, and of course it took a long time before it grew this large.  And, as you already know, my natural mane color was pink before my growing power changed it to the auroral colors.  I believe you are regressing – taking the forms of my younger selves.  I propose an experiment.  Mark – deliberately try to turn into a young version of me.”

I was intrigued. I got out of my chair and thought about how to go about that, then shrugged when I realized I had no clue. So, I just tried to think younger. After a long moment when nothing happened, I felt something change.

“Oh!  She’s gotten smaller!” Pearl exclaimed.

Loopy trotted to my side.  “’Tis true – Mark is now slightly shorter than me.”

Rarity studied me from horn to hooves.  “Is that it though?  Can she get younger still?”

Celestia said, “I’m over eleven centuries old, Mark.  You should be able to regress a hundred years younger than when I was that size.”

I tried again, recalling how the change felt and attempting to apply it.  This time, I definitely noticed the difference as I was only a little bigger than Rarity.  “Hey, Cadence – could you come here, please?”

The Crystal Princess trotted over and stood side by side with me.  She grinned.  “We’re practically twins size-wise now.”

Celestia laughed. “Oh!  It’s been so long since I have seen myself like that.  However, if I’m right, I believe you should be able to regress a bit further.”

“I don’t want to turn into a toddler foal,” I objected.  “I might not be able to change back.”

“Don’t worry,” my much larger doppelganger replied.  “I don’t think that will happen, and even if it does, I know an aging spell.”

“Okay, here goes.” I tried imagining myself as young as possible.  This time, I came out shorter than Rarity.

My wife cooed with delight.  “You make such a gorgeous filly, darling!”





Celestia nodded in satisfaction.  “I was a teenager when I ascended, exactly as Mark looks now.  My theory is that your transformation magic emulates me as an alicorn irrespective of age, but since I was not always an alicorn, this is as young as you can get.”

“That’s a relief,” I replied, momentarily startled by my younger-sounding voice.  Then I grinned and easily switched back to full-size wavy-maned form, then a moment later to Luna-sized pink-maned form, then back to filly before returning to my pre-experiment configuration.  “Now that I know what’s going on, I’ve got a handle on it.  This does open up some interesting possibilities.”

“It certainly does, darling!” my wife exclaimed.  “I can already envision a new fashion line for fillies that you can model for me.”

Not what I was meaning, but inevitable, I guess.


# # #


As always, the fashion parade was a roaring success.  I already had set aside a bathing costume for the next time we went to the beach.

After the show, Rarity, Steady, and I took the portal back to Canterlot and my private quarters where I kept my ever-growing collection of gowns, evening dresses, business and casual attire, and of course, lingerie.  Some time back, Steady had suggested that we take a few glamor shots of all the outfits before putting them away, and Rarity had not only thought that to be a wonderful idea, she also insisted that she accompany me to ensure that they were fitted as perfectly as when they were paraded down the catwalk.  Steady volunteered to do the photography, to which I readily agreed.  It was his hobby and I’d seen his work.  Besides, one encounter with the likes of Photo Finish was one too many in my books.  Steady’s work was just as professional in my opinion.

Steady made two albums of each collection – one for me and one for Rarity.  Then my wife realized that we could do the same with all the past collections, so after every show, not only did we do a photo shoot of the latest designs, but a number of my past favorites were trotted out once more.

“I’m so glad that I get to see all the outfits that you modeled before I began coming to your shows,” Steady said as I posed with one of the very earliest sexy outfits that I had in my collection.  I still loved how the lace looked on me.

I gave Steady a coy wink.  “It’s a good thing that you’re still single – I’m sure I’d be making your wife quite jealous right now.”

As my best friend blushed, Rarity asked, “Why are you still a bachelor, darling?  A stallion like you should have many mares looking for a relationship.”

Steady shook his head. “I lost my heart to a mare a long time ago, but she’s already taken.  No other mare measures up to her, so I have no interest in making a romantic relationship with anypony else.”

“Ooh!  Have I met her?  I’m curious to know what kind of pony makes your heart soar.”

Steady smiled sadly. “You see her regularly and I know you would like her.”

“Have you ever told her how you feel, darling?  Even if she’s in a relationship, she may be flattered by the attention.  Or she might be able to let you down gently so that you can move on to somepony else that would be happy to have a stallion like you.”

My friend chuckled humorlessly.  “It’s a lot more complicated than that.  Besides, if you’ve already found the perfect mare, it’s hard to make do with the next best pony, and unfair to them too.  I’d always be making comparisons and finding them coming up short.”

I said, “I think you’re overthinking this.  I know I was conflicted back before I married Trixie.  I had several mares interested in me then, each of them marvelous in different ways.  And while I did make a choice eventually, it was only after I got married that I found out that there was always more to learn and love about my wife, and that I could love more than one pony.  Take it from a former confirmed bachelor – waiting for the perfect woman is dumb. Almost everybody has to settle for good enough.  I got lucky, I know, but I understand now that I could have been happy with any of the mares who wanted me.”  I looked over to Rarity and gave her a smoldering look.  “And one of them persisted and made my life even better, starting an ever-growing herd of wonderful mates.”  She blushed and smiled coyly before I turned back to Steady. “So, either tell that mare how you feel or forget about her, but either way, move on with your life.”

Steady sighed. “Perhaps if she wasn’t a friend and I didn’t see her so often, forgetting her might work.  But I’m afraid of hurting the relationship we have by seeking more.”

Rarity said, “If she truly is a friend of yours, then telling her how you feel won’t harm that relationship.  But since you’ve implied that we all know her already, perhaps I can help ease you into that revelation.  Maybe even suggest the best way of doing it?”

My best friend had forgotten all about his camera by now.  I moved up to him and laid a comforting wing around him.  “You know we’ll have your back, Steady.  I’ll be your wing-stallion… or wing-mare if you prefer. I’m sure a few words from a prince or princess would add clout to your true feelings.”

Rarity joined us, giving the stallion a chaste kiss on the cheek.  “I’m certain all the girls will back you up too.  So, tell us – who is this mare who has stolen your heart?”

For a long moment, I thought Steady was going to refuse to tell us, but then he sighed in resignation.  “You’re not going to give up on this, are you?”  We both shook our heads.  “You have no idea yet what complications this will bring, but you asked for it.  Her name is…”

Steady turned his head to look me straight in the eyes. “…Marklestia.”


# # # # # # # # # #

> A Steady Heart - part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Her name is… Marklestia.”

My eyes shot open wide and I froze up.  “Me?!” I squeaked.  Steady looked away, stepped out from under my unresisting wing, and stopped after a couple of paces.  Without turning around to face me, he sat down on his rump and began speaking in a defeated tone.

“It’s a completely ridiculous situation.  When I first learned about your ability to change to Marklestia, I thought it was bizarre that you seemed okay with it.  But after a while, I reckoned that you were doing it just for kicks, and seeing that you always changed back to a stallion after you’d had your fun, I put it down to harmless silliness.  But then you got stuck as a mare during mating season, and I blamed myself for letting Crimson stop me from helping you when you needed help the most.  You spent over a week like that with your mare friends, coping with the heat exactly as they had to.  That’s when it sunk in that you weren’t just playing at being a mare, you were one hundred percent female.”

Steady threw up his forehooves in supplication to a non-existent audience in front of him. “But what did you do not terribly long after that?  I thought you would stay away from being Marklestia for a long time, if not permanently, but no, you didn’t.  You went right back to being that mare and enjoying it.  It finally made me realize that Marklestia was not merely a pleasurable pastime, but your female side given free rein.  You were still Mark Wells but with a feminine slant.  My best stallion friend was just as much my best mare friend, and when I got that through my thick head, I started looking at Marklestia in a different light.  In you, I saw everything that I liked in both genders, plus my… physical reactions to a beautiful and very sexy mare.  That’s when I lost my heart to you.  That’s why I started coming with you to Ponyville on the weekends whenever I was able.  That’s why I always came to Rarity’s fashion shows.  And that’s why I suggested the photography sessions.  If I couldn’t have the mare I loved, I could at least share as much of her life as possible.  And there are three photo albums, not just your two.”

Steady finally turned to face me and I saw the tears that were streaming down his face.  “And now you know why I can never be with the mare I love.  I hope you’ll forgive me for taking advantage of you this way.  I’ll leave now if that’s what you want.”

I said nothing. Frankly, my mind was in such turmoil that I did not know what to say.  However, I became self-conscious of the fact that I was standing in front of a stallion who had the hots for me in some of the sexiest lingerie in my collection. I hastily adjusted my wings to cover a lot of it, but I’m sure the image was already burned into Steady’s mind. While I was still dithering, Rarity spoke up.

“What makes you think that Mark would reject you, darling?”

We both looked at her with shock on our faces.

“Say what?!” I exclaimed.

My fashionista mate started undressing me as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Mark, dearest, do you really think that your herdmates were unaware of Steady’s feelings for you?”

I recalled Celestia’s calling him my future husband a while back, not to mention some teasing comments from my other herdmates.  And then there was the way Rarity had steered the conversation to get Steady to reveal his secret.  “You knew! I suppose Chrysalis must have noticed his emotions at the fashion parades.”

Rarity smiled. “Don’t underestimate your other wives, darling.  It was Penny who first caught on.  She did consult with Chrysalis who not only confirmed it but also informed her of the depths of his feelings which she had been savoring.  Our changeling herdmate had noticed it long ago but, as is her wont, she chose to keep it to herself.  Penny, of course, had no hesitation in telling the rest of us, and we’ve been waiting ever since for what would happen next.  I confess that I got a little impatient and hurried things up a bit tonight, but the quiet drama was getting too much to bear.”

“How did Penumbra catch on?” Steady asked.

Rarity giggled. “Those physical reactions that you mentioned earlier?  You weren’t as good at hiding them as you thought you were.  Once she noticed them, she began observing you more closely. However, it’s not as if the rest of us mares were blind to your attraction to Mark, although we had not been aware of the depths of it.  I, for one, was pleased with your response to the fashions Mark was modeling.”

Talk about physical reactions made me remember the first time that I was stuck as a mare during mating season and I had inadvertently smelled Steady’s scent on my saddlebags.  The surge of desire I put down entirely to hormones, but I couldn’t say I was immune to the allure of stallions either.  But I was not in estrus now.  “Rares, you know that I’m sexually attracted to mares in either of my forms.”

Rarity had finished undressing me and she patted me on the withers condescendingly.  “Mark, my love, almost all ponies are bisexual to some degree.  Please note that I did not exempt stallions.  It’s one of the things that gives us such a large variety of personalities. I find both sexes equally desirable, as you have had ample opportunity to find out for yourself.”

I blushed fiercely as she so blithely stated this in front of Steady.  It was true, but still….

Rarity continued, “Penny finds mares more attractive, but she certainly enjoys her stallion. And Celestia prefers males but nevertheless relishes making love with her other herdmates occasionally.  You are no exception, and before you deny it, your wives will all back up what I’m telling you.  You can and do react differently to stallions, although you are obviously unaware of that fact.  It’s been quite noticeable to me since Penny informed us, but you respond subconsciously to the stallions in the audience of the fashion parades.  But it’s Steady who brings out the most in you.  Mark, darling, Steady was correct when he said that you are completely a mare when you are in this form, and you are sexually attracted to stallions too.  It’s no surprise that you find your best friend to be the most desirable.”

I wanted to deny it, but one glance at Steady with that revelation in mind and my objections were quashed.  He was sexy, and I liked what I saw.  But that did not mean we had that sort of relationship!  “No offense to Steady, but I’m not about to jump into bed with him and make love!”

“Nopony expects you to.  Mark, my love, you may have had the ability to change into a mare for a few years now, but at the most, you have spent a couple of days a week as one, not counting the Mating Season instances.  You have not experienced and learned everything there is about being a mare.  It’s time to change that.  I suggest you ask Steady out on a date.”

I blinked and gaped at her.  “Are you saying that you want to see me in a relationship with a stallion? What would the others think?”

“We’ve had ample time to discuss this among ourselves.  We decided to wait and see if it works out between you and Steady.  We will proceed from there.”

“So, my mares have been talking about this behind my back for ages.  When will I be included in these discussions?”

Rarity smiled. “When you fully accept every aspect of being a mare, then you will not need to ask.”

I wanted to argue but I was uncomfortably aware that she was right – I didn’t know everything about being a mare.  I looked over to Steady who gazed back hopefully.  Perhaps it was time to find out for sure either way.  I swallowed as my throat suddenly felt dry.

“You have the entirety of Sunday free,” Rarity said helpfully.

I threw up my forehooves in exasperation.  “Okay! Okay!  Steady – I like you a lot and think you’re hot.  Wanna go out on a date tomorrow?”

Rarity sighed and facehoofed.  “So much more to learn,” she murmured.

Steady, though, looked like a drowning pony who had been thrown a lifeline.  “Yes, Mark, I would very much like to go on a date with you. And I want to make you feel every bit the wonderful and sexy mare I know you to be.”

I was starting to feel a lot better about this and I grinned.  “You seem to know me better than I do myself, so better not disappoint me. We’ll begin right after breakfast tomorrow.  Speaking of food, I’m starving.  Let’s go join the rest of my sneaky wives and have dinner.”

“But we haven’t finished photographing the remainder of your outfits,” Steady objected.

I chuckled.  “No more ogling this mare’s sexy body until we figure out how we stand, stud.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed, although not without obvious disappointment.

What I didn’t say was that I did not want his now open feelings toward me to color my reactions. Tomorrow, I was going on my first date as a mare, and I wanted to go into it with an open mind.





As we exited my room, Penumbra was standing guard in the hallway opposite the door.  One eyebrow rose upon seeing us.

“Aren’t you a bit early?  I wasn’t expecting you for another twenty or thirty minutes.”

Rarity replied, “Steady confessed his true feelings to Mark.”

Penny gaped then frowned.  “And I wasn’t there to see Mark’s face when he did?!  Damn it!”

“Suck it up,” I said. “You’ll get plenty of opportunities to have laughs at my expense tomorrow while I’m on a date with Steady. Oh, wait – it’s your day off, isn’t it?” I added slyly.

“Change of schedule,” she replied promptly as she fell in next to us as we headed down the hall. “Besides, who better to save you from over-amorous stallions?”  She smirked at Steady who cringed a little.

Somehow, I didn’t think she or any of my wives would be doing much ‘saving’.  More likely compiling a thorough gossip report for the others.  I was beginning to wonder if I was doing the right thing, but I wasn’t going to back out now.  Steady parted ways with us before we joined the rest of the mares.  Frankly, I don’t blame him, knowing quite well what they would subject him to.  That privilege was entirely my own.

Needless to say, my wives had plenty of suggestions, many of which I was going to ignore.  It would be up to my new coltfriend to bring out the hetero mare in me, although I resolved not to fight it.  If my herdmates were correct, the attraction would happen naturally and not be forced.  I did have one idea that I needed Rarity’s help with though, and it fitted in with my own sense of my female alter ego.





I was eating my breakfast when Steady turned up wearing a sports jacket.  Unusual for him, but this was a date after all.  He looked at the mares gathered around the table and gave them an apprehensive “Good morning”.  Aside from returning the greeting, they merely gave him knowing grins. I think that might have made him even more nervous than a barrage of questions which he could have spent half the night preparing for.  But then his eyes settled on me and I smiled and shifted so he could get a good look at me.

Steady’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.  His gaze was riveted on me as I sauntered over and planted a light kiss on his cheek.

“Hi there, stud. Like what you see?”

“Oh, wow!  You look great!  But why that size?”

I had used my newly discovered ability to regress my pink-maned Celestial form to the same age as my normal stallion form.  Because Celestia was an alicorn, that meant I was still a little bigger than Steady, but not to a gross degree.  Closer to Fleur de Lis with Fancy Pants in comparison.  “I’m not going to date a stallion who’s half my size.  I’d feel like I was with a foal.  I’m a lot more comfortable this way.  And Rarity was thrilled to put together this outfit for me for the occasion.  Like it?”

For habitual nudists like ponies, dressing up always had significance, and the style of clothing clearly indicated its purpose.  The ones that I was showing off for Steady told everypony that I was trying to impress a coltfriend, just as any typical mare looking for a mate.  I needed him to know that I was taking this seriously, and I wanted to look nice while doing so.  The open-back summer dress allowed freedom of movement for my wings, and the light-yellow material with light-blue trimming on the hems complemented my coat and mane.

Steady smiled and said, “You look beautiful.  You take me back to the days when I was barely older than a colt and the mares were making moves on me.”

“And yet, none of them landed you.  Lucky me,” I said with a giggle that surprised even me.

Steady shrugged. “Even then, I was looking for more than good looks.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted from a relationship until I met you.”

I snickered.  “I bet you had a lot of fun finding out though.”

He blushed. Yep, not a virgin, that’s for sure.

“Sit down and have your breakfast.  Our date doesn’t start until after we’ve eaten, and you have a full day ahead of you to impress me.” 

With the ice broken, Steady was able to settle down and eat a full breakfast.  He even managed to answer some of the questions my wives asked.  He refused to tell them anything about his plans, however, wanting me to find out as they unfolded.

I said my farewells to my wives and Steady and I strolled out into the Canterlot castle gardens. Due to the fashion show and other unforeseen events, I was not in Ponyville as was usual for a weekend.  I enjoyed the crisp morning mountain air as we walked among the flowers and let our food settle.  After a while, I said, “As pleasant as this is, did you have something else in mind?”

Steady nodded. “I know you enjoy flying with Rainbow Dash on the weekends, but she’s not here and I am.  Would you like to have a leisurely flight to Ponyville, or would you prefer we do something more strenuous?”

I grinned, feeling the competitive urge grow in me.  Yeah, he had me pegged.  “How about we race there?  First one to touch Twi’s castle wins?”

He returned my grin. “You’re on.”

We took off simultaneously and headed in the direction of my home away from home.  For several minutes, we flew neck and neck.  I was a power flyer, but Steady was an endurance type who knew how to pace himself.  There would be no guessing who would win this race, but then again, who cared? I glanced at him and his gaze met mine. We started sky dancing.  No ground-bound pony will ever know the thrill and joy of an aerial ballet.  We gamboled and twirled, pirouetted and swooped, hooked our forelegs to spin around, and generally had the time of our lives.  We were both panting hard when we at last landed on the balcony of Twilight’s castle.  I didn’t notice which of us touched down first and, frankly, neither of us cared.

When I got my breath back, I said, “As Dash would say, that was awesome.  You ought to spend some time with her.”

“Where do you think I learned some of those moves?” he replied with a grin.

“Oh?  How did you convince her to teach you?”

“I told her that it was to impress you.  For some reason, she was pretty enthusiastic about it after that.”

Either my rainbow friend wanted me to get more practice and up my game when she and I got together again, or Dash had guessed the stallion’s motives too.  I suppose I’d find out later when I thanked her. “Well, that was a great start to the day.  Was there any reason why you wanted us to come to Ponyville in particular?”

“Yes, actually. There’s a concert being held in the arboretum this morning.  I thought we could take it easy for a bit and enjoy the music.”

I’d known about the concert and had planned on asking Trixie and any of my other herdmates if they’d be interested in going to it.  This was another point in Steady’s favor.  “Sounds good.  Let’s go.”

We freshened up a bit first in the castle, but we were still a little early.  However, that allowed us to get good seats for the performance.  We spent the intervening time conversing with the locals.  Most were surprised at my diminutive form, but as soon as they learned why, they were quite enthusiastic about it.  As Steady had said yesterday, I was completely a mare in this form, and going on a date with a stallion was not only completely normal, it was well nigh inevitable in their eyes, my normal male self notwithstanding.  I even overheard one mare tell another, “See?  I told you he was into her!”  It seemed even the citizens of Ponyville knew before me.

The concert was every bit as enjoyable on that fine morning as I thought it would be.  By the time it concluded, it was nearing lunchtime, and due to my earlier exertions, I was feeling quite peckish.  When I asked Steady if he had any food plans, he nodded.

“I’ve arranged with Spike for a picnic lunch to be packed for us.  We just have to pick it up at the castle.”

“Why get Spike to make it?  We have cooks to do that for us.”

“Because he and Sweetie Belle will be joining us.  You and he don’t get together much outside of Magic the Gathering night, and a picnic is nicer when shared with friends.”

I thought about it. It was a little too soon yet to want a simple picnic to be an intimate occasion, and he was right when he said that Spike and I didn’t have much opportunity to chat.  The dragon was spending a lot more of his free time with his marefriend lately, so it was a good excuse to meet and have a leisurely conversation.

We flew over to Twilight’s castle and found the two waiting for us.  I gave Sweetie a hug and a nuzzle before giving Spike a hug too, minus the nuzzle.  Instead, I grinned and said, “So, now it’s a double date?”

The dragon chuckled. “Seems so, Mark.  When Steady told us what he had planned, Sweetie and I thought it would be fun.  Besides, after all the ribbing you’ve been giving us about our lengthy courtship, it will be great to turn the tables on you now that you and Steady are an item.”

“It’s a bit too soon to say that, Spike.  We’re just trying it out to see if a relationship could work out between us,” I protested.

“Uh-huh. Right.  Sure,” he replied with a smirk as Sweetie giggled.

Did everybody think that Steady and I were a done deal?

Because Sweetie could not fly, we chose to stroll to the park for the picnic even though her boyfriend was more than capable of carrying her.  Again, it allowed me to talk with my Ponyville friends along the way, but they politely left us in peace when we spread the blanket on the grass and settled down.  We had a leisurely lunch and caught up with the news.  Spike and Sweetie had set the date for their marriage, at last.  They were currently making their plans and invitations were due to be sent out in the near future.





When the dragon put a wing around the mare lovingly, Steady hesitantly moved to do the same with me. I allowed it and found it to be quite pleasant.

We spent a couple of hours altogether on that picnic before our friends said that they had other plans and they needed to get going.  I asked Steady what he had in mind for the rest of the afternoon.

“There’s a play that recently opened in Canterlot called The Phantom of the Opera. I thought you might like to see it.”

I blame one of my wives for this.  On one of our rare trips to Earth, I took my wives to see the long-running musical as a bit of human culture.  While they all enjoyed it, Celestia was the one to suggest adapting the play for an Equestrian performance.  Months later, it had premiered in Bridleway, but only now had the production made its way to Canterlot for a limited season.  Of course, I had to see the Equestrified version.

“You’re right, I’d love to go,” I told Steady, omitting to tell him about why.

It was too late to fly to Canterlot, and neither of us wanted to turn up tired from the flight. Of course, Steady had counted on us being able to use the portal in Twilight’s castle to get us to Canterlot promptly, and we were more than early enough to be on time for the start of the show. Not that we headed to the theater immediately.  Steady had already purchased tickets in anticipation of me agreeing, and I wanted to spend the least amount of time with the nosy public, especially some nobles I’d rather not explain myself to.

I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed this version of Phantom.  Surprisingly, the titular character was played by a griffon named Gerard, and he had a magnificent voice.  His obsessive love was played by a mare called Golden Voice. The rest of the ensemble was also very talented and I would be recommending the play to my herd.

As Steady and I walked out of the theater, I asked what he had planned next.

“I’ve booked a table at The Fig Tree for dinner,” he replied.

“So, back to Ponyville?”

“We’ve got plenty of time if you want to do something else before then.”

“How about dropping by Sweet Apple Acres?  I’d like to see Breezy and Suncrisp and get their reactions to this form.”

Steady smiled. “You love those foals, don’t you?”

“I may have been just the stud to sire them, but I consider them no less my children.  With Applejack’s and Rainbow’s blessing, I can visit them at any time, and they love playing with me.”

“Do I detect maternal feelings?” he asked as his grin grew.

I gave him a flat look.  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, lover-boy.”

He laughed and we took off for the portal to Ponyville.

The foals were at first stunned by my smaller size, but that quickly changed to joy as they realized that I was more “fun-size”.  I knew I’d have to do so again for future visits.  All too soon, we had to leave for our dinner date.

My mares and I had dined at The Fig Tree many times.  It had earned a deserved reputation for fine food and great atmosphere. But this was the first occasion where I was being dated as a mare, and somehow it felt different.  I think it was because this was the one thing that we had done today that specifically said to me – you’re a mare being wooed by a stallion.  I deliberately tried to think of my male self being here with my best friend, but the initial impression kept returning.  And I liked it.  I decided that it was time for me to do more than just react to Steady’s plans, and I asked him what his hopes and dreams were for the future.  Unsurprisingly, they predominantly featured me.  No mention was made of foals, but it was clear that he wanted to play a greater part in my life.  Maybe it was the wine that was speaking, but it all seemed like a pleasant idea.

We finished the evening with a moonlit stroll through the Ponyville Gardens.  We were hardly the only ones to do so, and yet it felt like it was only we two enjoying Luna’s night sky.  Eventually, we made it back to Twilight’s castle and portaled back to Canterlot.  I paused outside my room, stopping Steady from accompanying me.

“This is where our date ends tonight, Steady.  You’ve shown me a wonderful day, and I give you full marks for it.  However, while I enjoyed myself immensely, I’m not making life-changing decisions after just one date.  I’m going to be thinking over this day for the rest of the week.  Next Saturday, we can have another date, if you want.  I still need to be sure that we both understand the mare that I am before committing one way or the other.”

Steady smiled and nodded.  “I agree. I’ve waited this long for this chance and I can wait a bit longer if that is what it takes to prove that we belong together.”

I chuckled. “There’s confidence speaking. Goodnight, Steady.”  I impulsively leaned over and kissed him.  I’m really not sure why I did that.  After trying to gently tell him that we’re not a done deal yet, I went and spoiled it with that kiss.  Too bad we both liked it and lingered over it before I pulled away and headed into my room.





Steady touched his lips with his hoof, smiling at the memory of the kiss.  Turning to head to his quarters, he almost walked into the thestral who had been shadowing them unobtrusively all day.

Penumbra smirked. “You’ve hooked her; do you want to know how to reel her in?”


# # # # # # # # #

> A Steady Heart - part 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had wondered what the work week would be like with Steady as I had resumed my normal stallion form.  It turned out to be much like our relationship had been before our date.  I think there might have been a bit more of a spring in his step and his smile was brighter, but there was no push from him to acknowledge my mare side as he prepared me for Day Court that morning. I made a joke about him getting some action on the weekend, but he didn’t rise to the bait.  Steady remained professional when he needed to be, and my best friend when he didn’t.

The week passed without anything significant happening and soon it was Saturday again.  I was rather surprised by the outfit that Rarity supplied me for the day’s outing with Steady.  She fitted me out with a simple skirt with matching short-sleeved shirt and a sun hat. One last addition was a horn ring that I thought was rather out of place with the rest of the clothes until I looked at myself in the mirror.  My horn was nowhere to be seen!  I could still feel its presence but it was invisible to my closest scrutiny.

“Okay – what gives?” I asked my herdmate.

Rarity smiled slyly.  “Suffice to say that it fits in with Steady’s plans.”

I shrugged.  I would find out soon enough, I suppose.  I had to admit that without the horn, I looked like a typical pegasus mare, and rather cute for my age.

Steady did not seem to notice the lack of the appendage when I met him at the breakfast table.  He did compliment me and Rarity on the choice of clothing, and he was similarly closed-lipped on the reason for it.  My first hint was after the meal when he steered me to the main portal room instead of the personal one that was restricted to just the royal family and a few other trusted people.  However, ours was limited to a few important destinations and the main room had access to every place in Equestria, and not a few beyond.

“Is the daggerscale portal I requested set up?” Steady asked the attending Royal Guard mare who nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“What’s this?  Are you utilizing state resources for personal use?” I asked the stallion.

Steady grinned and nodded.  “Much as I would prefer to spend time with you on a lengthy train trip, we don’t have the luxury of time.  There’s a lot to get done in just two days.  Besides, Princess Trixie already approved it.”

Of course, she did.

Neither Steady nor the guard let me see the destination tag, so I was delighted to recognize Rabbit Island Amusement Park outside of Manehattan.  My herdmates and I had taken our foals here on a couple of occasions when time and opportunity presented itself, but this would be the first time that I would be here on a date with just my coltfriend.  The simple and practical outfit suddenly made sense.  Steady must have told Rarity his plans and she had dressed me appropriately. And because my horn was hidden and I looked like an ordinary pink-maned pegasus, there would be no hassles from any citizens wanting to approach their triarch for whatever reason.  Steady and I were just another couple there to have fun.

And fun we certainly had!  We rode every roller coaster and thrill ride, played the rigged games of skill, checked out the aquarium, and ate the gloriously unhealthy carnival food.  And while I had been expecting more of the same theme as the previous Sunday’s activities, I had to admit that this was a brilliant idea.  I got to hug my stallion in the scary rides, compete with him in the games, and laugh at our silliness in the attractions such as the House of Mirrors.  In short, it was a marvelous day out and we did not get home until quite late.

This time, Steady was the one to initiate the kiss goodnight, although I did meet him halfway.  I went to bed tired but happy.  I was wondering what he could do tomorrow to match the first two dates as I drifted off to sleep.





The next day started out quite sedately.  The Canterlot Flower Festival was in full swing and Steady and I spent a few pleasant hours wandering around the gardens arm-in-arm (or rather wing-in-wing).  It was something that I had done with Trixie and my other wives in previous years, but it was nice to be on the other side of the gender relationship this time.  I could not put a hoof on why it was different, but I was not about to argue that I did not like it.  I did, however, wistfully look occasionally in the direction of a cloud structure hovering over the valley.  It had been parked there yesterday and, but for my commitment to this date, I would be up there.  The Canterlot Mustangs had made the hoofball playoffs and they were up against the Baltimare Bolts today.

We had lunch in the pavilion overlooking the gardens before we left for our next destination.  Steady took wing and I followed.  To my surprise, it was quickly apparent that he was headed toward the cloud stadium.

“Steady – are we going where I think we’re going?”

He looked toward me with a shit-eating grin.  “I knew you wanted to watch the hoofball game today.  We would have been there anyway if we weren’t on a date.”

“But this is a date, so why go here?”

“Are Marklestia’s interests so different from Mark the stallion’s?” he asked.

I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head.  “No, not in this case anyway.”

His smile grew wider.  “And that’s why I bought tickets days ago.  I figure that if we are going to share things as a couple, we’ll do activities we both enjoy.  And we’re both mad keen Mustangs fans—”

“Say no more!” I interrupted with a grin of my own.  “You know how to get to this mare’s heart!”

The game was awesome!  The score was neck-and-neck all the way.  Right up to the final minute, there was no way of knowing who the winner would be.  I was going hoarse from screaming out encouragement to the Mustangs, and I bet the pegasi and griffons seated nearby wondered how I had such a pair of lungs.  Ultimately, our team pulled off a win on the last play, and I hugged and kissed Steady just as enthusiastically as I had cheered on the team.

We had indulged in beer and carrot dogs at the half-time break, but we had certainly worked up an appetite by the time we exited the stadium.  I looked over to Steady as we winged our way back to the city.

“Did you have dinner plans?” I asked.

“Of course,” he replied.  “I’ve made arrangements and we should be pretty much right on time. It wouldn’t hurt if we picked up the pace a bit though.”

We sped up and I soon saw the familiar building outlines of Restaurant Row. I wondered which venue he planned to take us to.  I was pleased when we landed in front of the cul-de-sac that led to one of my very favorites – The Tasty Treat.  As always, there was a line of patrons waiting to get in.  As had been Coriander Cumin’s policy since Day One, he would not take reservations.  The only sure way to get a table was to join the queue or find someone willing to hold a place in line for you.  This was a common tactic initiated by the Royal Guard, but others had adopted the idea, although it was difficult to find ponies willing to stand there for potentially hours, all while tantalizing odors drifted through the alley.

“You can take off your horn ring now,” Steady said before we trotted past the potential patrons until we reached nearly the head of the line.  I was greeted by a few off-duty Royal Guards who recognized me, but it was Golden Gleam who grinned at seeing us there. The pegasus and his wife, Silver Showers, waved to Steady and me and when we got close, the stallion said, “You’re just in time.  I saw a party paying their bill and the ponies at the head of the line will be going inside in a moment.  You’ll be up next.”

I said, “Did Steady get you two to be placeholders just so we could dine here?”

“When he told us you were going on a dinner date with him, it was a no-brainer. Besides, he promised to pay for a dinner for the two of us.  We have reservations over at the Smoked Oat which is where we’ll be headed in a moment.”

“I see you don’t have your foals with you tonight.”

Silver replied, “They’re with a foalsitter.  Tonight is just for my husband and me.  Just like you two.”

I blushed a little before asking, “So, how are they doing?”

Golden said, “They’re doing great!  I’m teaching my son how to read and he’s really into it.



“Takes after his dad,” I said with a grin.  “Anyway, I won’t hold you up.  Enjoy your evening.  I know we will.”

The couple said their farewells and we took their place in line.  The party of four ahead of us was let in immediately, so we chatted with the batpony husband and wife behind us until our turn came up.  They had been told to expect a royal but did not expect it to be me in mare form.  The mare, Nightbeam, complimented me on my outfit, and I’m sure I added plenty to the gossip that would spread out like wildfire tomorrow.  And I didn’t care for once.

Coriander greeted us enthusiastically as always, and Saffron Marsala’s cooking was perfect, as always.  Their popularity had caused them to hire additional servers, but Saffron never let anypony else do the important part of running a successful restaurant. While we did not rush our meal, we did not dawdle either.  Too many other patrons were waiting to be served.  Steady and I elected to stroll back to the castle rather than fly, enjoying the evening air.

The Royal Guards posted at the gate saluted me with a smile.  Obviously, they had been forewarned about me and Steady. Indeed, I would have been shadowed by undercover bodyguards all today and yesterday, and there would have been few who did not know what I was doing by now.  My popularity with the common soldier made them more than happy to go the extra mile in both protecting me and indulging my whims.

My coltfriend and I did not go inside the castle.  Instead, we turned off into the private gardens until we reached a gazebo in its midst.  There was a two-seater swinging chair inside and we settled down together. Steady put a wing around me and pulled me close to kiss me.  We cuddled for a while, enjoying Luna’s night sky in comfortable silence.  Eventually though, Steady broke the quiet.

“I hope you enjoyed the weekend.  Is there anything you’d like to do next time?”

I came to a decision and shook my head.  “Steady, I went into this relationship with some trepidation.  I may have had my fun as a mare for years, but I never fully understood the female side of me.  You, on the other hoof, have awakened my romantic side.  You have made me feel emotions that I’ve only had for my wives up until now.  You’ve also shown that you know how to have fun with a mare, and you understand my likes and passions.  And I find that so very sexy.  Turns out that Rarity was one hundred percent correct about me.  Maybe it isn’t common for stallions to feel the way I do, but I’m not an ordinary pony.  You turn me on, Steady.  You have done something that I thought no male could ever do – made me want to be a complete mare for my stallion.”

I leaned over to kiss him passionately.  When I eventually broke it off, I got up from the seat, pulling Steady along with me.  “Fly with me, stud,” I said with a coy smile before taking off.

“Always,” he replied, bounding into the air to follow me.



We flew wingtip to wingtip around the castle before I landed on the balcony that led to my private room.  The doors unlocked to my magical signature and we stepped inside.  I divested myself of my outfit as I headed for the bed. Steady shut the doors, drew the curtains, and followed me.

“Mark – I… I didn’t desire a relationship with you just because I wanted to have sex with you.”

I giggled as I sat on the edge of the bed.  “I know, and I sure didn’t either.  But that’s changed.  I want you Steady.  I want my stallion to take his mare and make love to her.”

The joy that I saw in his eyes thrilled me as he stepped up, tenderly pushed me to the covers, and kissed me.

When we finally pulled apart to catch our breath, I put a forehoof on his chest and gazed into his eyes.  “Steady – I may have had sex with many mares and sired many foals, but this will be the first time on the flip side of things.  I’m… essentially a virgin, so be gentle.”

“Don’t worry, Mark, I promise that I’ll be careful.”

I rolled over and swept my tail aside, presenting my marehood to my chosen mate.  Despite everything that had been said, I still had a touch of nervousness as he climbed up behind me.  But then he mounted me and all doubts and fears were swept away as we made love.  When I had been stuck as a mare during mating season, the other mares and I indulged in many practices to relieve ourselves of the burning need of our heat.  That included strap-on dildoes worn by one of them.  Let me tell you right now that the real thing wielded by a passionate lover far exceeded anything that I had experienced back then.  Steady was no inexperienced colt and he showed it by the way he played me like a fiddle, bringing me to orgasm again and again. Eventually, I managed to push him to the same.

As I was always in synch with my wives, I knew that I was nowhere near estrus, so I was in no danger of getting pregnant.  Right at that moment though, I was almost regretful that I would not conceive. I knew now with utmost certainty that I was as much female as I was male and my life would never be the same.

Steady rolled off of me, to my disappointment, and lay beside me.  He kissed me briefly before saying, “Are you satisfied, my lady?”

I giggled.  “After that, no, I don’t think so.  I can’t ever be satisfied with making love to you for so short a time.  Before we do though, I want to formalize our relationship. You have won my heart, Steady. You were already closer to me than anypony barring my wives, but now you rank right up there with them.  However, you always knew that a relationship with me would be complicated.  I can’t be your mare very often, not even every weekend.  I have obligations to my wives and to my country that will take precedence at times.  But I don’t want you to be just my weekend fling when I am a mare either.  I want you to be a member of my herd.”

“How will that work, and would Trixie approve?” Steady asked with a concerned frown.

“Don’t worry about Trixie or the others,” I replied with a smile.  “If my wife hasn’t said anything by now, that means she’s onboard with this already.  My mares are all smarter than me in these matters.  I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.  Obviously, there’s no precedent for this.  On the rare occasion that a herd takes in a second stallion, I’m told he shares the mares with the lead stallion.  I’m pretty sure that none of mine are inclined to that.  You would have a similar status to a junior wife dedicated to her stallion.  Can you be happy with that situation?”

Steady cupped my cheek with a hoof and gazed lovingly at me.  “If it means that I get to be with you, then the rest doesn’t matter.  I would be happy to join your herd and play my part in it.  And Mark, just because you will be a stallion for much of the time, it doesn’t mean that I will stop loving you.  You are more than my best friend, and I did not go into this relationship blindly.  You have given me far more than I dared dream and I love you for it.”

“I love you too, Steady.  Let me show you how much.”

I then demonstrated what I had learned from my mares on how to please a stallion.  After that, he mounted me again.  By the time we were done, we fell asleep in each other’s embrace.





I normally resumed being a stallion either Sunday night or first thing in the morning. This time, I decided to stay as a mare, although in my much larger form with the shorter aurora mane.  Steady and I made love once more when we woke, and I wanted to do so in my more typical mare size. The sex was just as good, but I admit that it was nice when I was smaller and Steady could wrap his arms (okay, legs) around me.

Due to our morning activities and subsequent freshening up, Steady and I were rather late to the breakfast table, and lots of heads turned as we entered the room.  All my wives were present, even Loopy.  Conversation stopped and they looked at me expectantly.  I swallowed, my throat dry as I walked up to Trixie.

“Good morning, love,” I said as I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.

“Good morning, Dark Bells.  Have you a reason for joining us as a mare today?”

As if she didn’t know!  Still, formality needed to be indulged.

“Trixie Lulamoon, may I present to you Steady Flight, my candidate for joining our herd.”

My lead mare made a show of looking Steady over and he shuffled his hooves nervously.  She looked back at me and asked, “Are you sure about this, Dowser?”

“As sure as I was when I married you, Lulu.”

She looked back to Steady.  “And you – do you understand the sacrifices that you will need to make to be a part of our herd?”

“I do, Princess Trixie.”

She looked back to me.  “And do you intend to have a foal with him and deprive your mares of their stallion for many months?”

“No. I have no desire to get pregnant, nor do I wish to be stuck as a mare.”

“Told you,” Penumbra said as she stuck a hoof out towards my changeling wife.

Chrysalis hoofed over a gold bit.  “Indeed.  It seems I have not sufficiently impressed the joys of motherhood upon our lead stallion.” She turned to face me.  “Husband, I decree that your future visits to our hive must be made in your Marklestia form.”

“A capital idea!” exclaimed Loopy.  “With the lead mare’s blessing, all thy social visits to thy foals shall be as such.”

Trixie’s predatory smile let me know her opinion on the matter. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes.  Darn pushy mares.

Celestia spoke up.  “Mark, you are an immortal alicorn.  Believe me, your feelings will grow and change over time, and it’s very unlikely that you will ever find a stallion who is closer to you, more devoted to you, and better suited for that task than Steady.  Do not close yourself off to that possibility.”

I smiled at her and shook my head.  “I haven’t.  Steady and I talked about it this morning.  He’s not in any hurry to have foals, but by the time he is ready, perhaps I will be too.  Regardless, I have some growing as a mare to do before then, and I hope my herdmates will help me with that.”

“Darling, what do you think we have been trying to do ever since we recognized Steady’s feelings for you?” Rarity asked.

I chuckled.  “Perhaps I will need to pay more attention in the future.”

Trixie said, “Indeed, you will.  Now, does any mare have objections to bringing this stallion into the herd?”

Of course, there were none.

“Then, Great and Wise Trixie welcomes the new junior herdmate into our family.  Now, kiss and sit down, you two, and tell us all about last night after the curtains closed in your room.”

I looked over to Penny who smirked and winked.

“And hurry up,” Trixie added.  “Princess Marklestia has the morning session of Day Court.”

A fitting way to start this new chapter in my life, I reckon.


# # # # # # # # #

> Her Royal Highness
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Princess Marklestia has the morning session of Day Court.”

I mulled that over as I ate my breakfast and concluded that my wife was wrong.  Marklestia was the nickname for the fun alter-ego that I had been using for years – useful in battle, great for flying and socializing with the mares, and of course as Rarity’s clothes horse.  However, since my very recent awakening to the fullness of my marehood, I realized that it did not fit me anymore.  There were still things that I would need to learn about my female self, but I knew that she was not just a feminine version of my stallion form.  It was time to make a fresh start and establish that, when I chose to be, I was Princess Mark Wells.

I looked over to Steady Flight.  “Hurry up with your breakfast – I’ll be needing your help.”

My newest herdmate raised an eyebrow but nodded.

I did not linger over coffee and neither did Steady.  After giving Trixie a peck on the cheek, I exited the dining room with my stallion hot on my hocks, not to mention my ever-present bodyguard wife.

“What’s up, Mark?” he asked as he drew level with me.

I sped up to a brisk trot.  I would have gone faster but, as Trixie had pointed out to me on several occasions, it was undignified of a triarch to be seen rushing.  I had not really cared as a stallion, but it resonated much more with my mare self.  “We’ve got to get me ready for Day Court, and there are going to be some changes.” I looked at him and smirked.  “And it’s all your fault.”

He chuckled.  “Sorry, not sorry.”

I took him to my private room and asked Penny to stay outside.  Obviously disappointed, she took station on the other side of the door from the permanent guard to my room.  After closing the door, I said, “I’m pretty sure you know exactly where every one of my outfits is located.  Find me the one from the most recent show that Rarity called ‘The Young Princess’.”

Steady nodded.  “I know where to lay my hooves on it.”  He headed into the much-enlarged wardrobe while I parked myself in front of a full-length mirror.

I gazed at my reflection, unsatisfied with what I saw. Despite the slightly smaller mane, I still resembled Celestia too much.  I needed something that better fitted my new self-image.  I started off with my small pink-maned form that I had used to date Steady, but that was even further from what I wanted.  Now that I understood how my transformation worked, instead of flicking from one age to another to select a look, I tried rolling my age forward constantly.  It worked, and I watched myself grow as my mane lengthened and then on occasion shortened. Apparently, Celestia had opted for a mane-cut once in a while.  That was hardly surprising considering that half of it would have been dragging on the ground due to her lengthy lifespan, and it had not reached its nebulous state as yet.  Then, it abruptly switched from pink to her current auroral colors and I briefly wondered what event had precipitated the conversion.  I stopped the changes soon after that point, satisfied with the length of my mane.  I reckoned that I was now around Loopy’s size, perhaps a tad smaller.  I’d have to compare later.

I turned away from the mirror to see Steady watching me as he held an outfit in his wings.  “You like?” I asked.

He nodded enthusiastically.  “You look perfect, and at a cuddlier size.”

I giggled.  “Yeah, I thought we’d both appreciate that.  This is going to be my default look from now on.  The full Marklestia I’ll reserve for Rarity’s fashion shows or other special reasons, and the smaller pink-maned version for when we want to do stuff anonymously again.  And now you see why I asked for that particular outfit.”

Steady laid everything on the bed.  “You’ve never cared for dressing up much for the Court before.”

“Correction – Mark Wells the stallion doesn’t care, but Mark Wells the mare has different ideas.  Oh, I’m still not going overboard – I haven’t changed that much. But I want to impress on everypony that I am serious about the changes that will be made.  I need to show them that Princess Mark Wells is not just me playing around as a mare.  I have to make a good first impression.  So, let’s get me dressed.”

The outfit was simple enough – a modified cape made from a gauzy light-blue cloth.  Gold embroidery adorned every edge, and broad swaths crossed my chest.  They were fastened at my sternum with a brooch sporting a large lavender sapphire matching my eye color.  Large slits on either side allowed my wings to pass through and move freely, and the cape ended short of covering my cutie mark, one of the reasons for my choice.  Next came the jewel-encrusted hoofshoes – more like slippers than Celestia’s with their large shin guards.  The final touch was the tiara which Rarity had cunningly designed to incorporate my normal circlet with its enchanted gem.

“So, what do you think?” I asked as I posed for my stallion.

“It looks even better on you than the first time you wore it,” he replied as his gaze lingered on me.  “Probably because both our attitudes have changed.”

“Agreed.  And now it’s time to go show it off.”  I started heading for the door, only to be held up by Steady.

“Nope!  If you’re going to go to this much trouble, you had better finish the job.  We need to brush your mane and tail first.  Your flanks could do with a bit of a touch-up too.”

I smirked at him.  “You just want to get hold of my gorgeous bod.”

“That too, but I’m serious about the brushing,” he said as he walked over to the dressing table.  He brought back both a mane brush and a currying brush.  “You get your mane and tail into shape while I work on the gorgeous bod.” 

I snickered.  “You’re going to make us late to Day Court, you know?” I said as I started tending to my mane with the brush held in my magic.

“So what?  They can’t start without you, can they?”

I couldn’t argue with that, nor with the results of our efforts.  When I stepped out of my room some minutes later, I elicited an appreciative whistle from Penny.  I smiled and nodded in acknowledgment before setting off at a brisk trot once more.

As we headed down the hallway, I asked Steady, “Do you want to keep our relationship hushed up?”

He shook his head.  “I’ve thought about that, and while I would prefer to keep this within the herd, you and I both know that the truth will leak out sooner or later; probably much sooner.  If we announce it now, we can head off the rumors and speculation.”

“My thoughts too.  Okay, stick around for the beginning of Day Court.”

I arrived at the throne room only about three minutes late. I had a word with the Sergeant-at-Arms briefly before heading for the dais with Penny.  While I had spiced up Court a few times as a mare previously, this time it would be slightly different.

“All rise for Day Court!” bellowed the Sergeant-at-Arms.  “Princess Mark Wells presiding!”

I always admired the lungs on that stallion, but this time I also took pride in his announcement of my name.  I stood regally in front of the throne while I smiled and nodded at my subjects.  “Thank you, everyone.  Today, I stand before you as your princess rather than as your prince because a great and wonderful change has happened.  Gaining the ability to change into female form did not immediately make me fully a mare, but I have been learning about my alternate self over the years.  This weekend gone by, I made the final step to become the princess you see before you. My heart was won by a stallion and I declare before you all my love for him.  He has now joined my herd with the approval of my wife and herd-mares. Citizens of Equestria, I present to you Steady Flight of Herd Wells!”

A murmur of comment grew, but it was quickly overwhelmed by applause as a blushing Steady walked up the dais to stand by my side.  I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek before he returned the favor.  I then faced the audience and waited until the applause died down.

“In the future, I will be holding Court as your Princess at least one day a week.  I hope to serve you even better now that my female side has been fully awakened.”

“When are you having a foal?” somepony called from the audience.

Although I could see the Sergeant-at-Arms giving the excited mare the stink-eye, I merely smiled and said, “Patience, My Little Pony – we haven’t even had the honeymoon yet!”

There was some laughter from the audience which I allowed to run its course before I continued, “All things will happen in due course and when they’re most auspicious.  Meanwhile, the normal business of the Court will resume.  Thank you for joining me here, my love,” I said as I turned to Steady Flight once more, this time kissing him on the lips. He returned the kiss enthusiastically before taking the cue to walk off the dais.  Chrysalis passed him on the way and smirked at me as I settled onto the throne.

“I see you dressed for the occasion, husband.”

“As Her Royal Highness should, my dear,” I replied.

“Already speaking in Third Person, are we?” Chrysalis smiled openly now.

I felt my cheeks grow warm but didn't respond, instead nodding to the Sergeant-at-Arms.

“Let the first petitioner approach!” the stallion bellowed.

The happiness I was feeling then helped carry me through the rest of the morning session.





All my herdmates had been discreetly watching my announcement courtesy of Trixie’s magic, so I had nothing to tell about that at lunchtime.  I was, however, able to point out some changes in the attitudes of some of the petitioners in light of that.  I’m pretty sure that most of my herdmates would have been satisfied with me just holding court as a mare and resuming my stallion form after that, but I had already committed myself to being a mare for the rest of the day.  I went to work in my office still dressed in my Court outfit.

About a quarter hour after I got stuck into the paperwork, a unicorn mare tapped on my door which was always open except for private meetings.  That this pony did so without being held back or announced by Chrysalis first piqued my curiosity.  I recognized her as one of Trixie’s attendants.

“Can I help you, Prim Daisy?”

“Princess Trixie has assigned me to be your hoofmaiden, ma’am.  I am at your disposal at all times whenever you are a mare,” she replied.

I raised my eyebrows.  “No kidding?  I don’t really need a hoofmaiden.  Between my wives and Steady Flight, I think I’m covered.  Steady even helped me get prepared for this morning’s Court session.”

Prim was unmoved.  “Princess Trixie said that you would object to the assignment.  She said to remind you that a stallion cannot know everything there is to being a mare, let alone a princess.  While Mister Flight is accomplished at preparing Prince Mark Wells for Day Court, Her Highness wants to point out that you were late to your duties today.”

“That sounds like my wife, alright.  And since her mind is made up, I suppose I will have to accept it.  Do you think you’ll be up to dealing with a weird pony like me?”

Prim smiled faintly.  “I believe I am up to the challenge, Your Highness.”

I laughed.  “We’ll see.  Anyway, your services won’t be required while I do this desk work.  I’ll see you later, okay?”

Prim nodded.  “I’ll expect you in your personal quarters to freshen up before dinner. Have a good afternoon, ma’am.”

I blinked at her retreating form before chuckling.  I didn’t think she realized yet exactly what she had gotten herself into.  I liked her no-nonsense attitude though, and since I knew she was happily married, there would not be any issues of a more personal nature.  Pranks, however – that was an entirely different thing.  Time would tell.

I turned back to my paperwork.  Being a princess did not help a bit with that, even with a hoofmaiden at my beck and call.





Trixie must have updated Prim Daisy’s permissions because I found her waiting for me in my room after I finished my work for the day. She quickly dismissed Steady’s offer of assistance as she undressed and fussed over me.  She did ask him to help familiarize her later with what he knew about me, especially with regard to all my outfits.  I think she was a little overwhelmed by the vast collection.  I briefly wondered what she would think about the more risqué things among them before shrugging.  Probably wouldn’t even bat an eye.

Quicker and more effectively than Steady and I working together, she had me ready to go down and join my wives for dinner.  I realized I would have to mare up and admit that getting the services of a hoofmaiden was a good idea after all.

Aside from compliments on my appearance, the meal was fairly normal.  I think our children were more intrigued by my changes, but I suppose that was because my wives were already ahead of the curve.  Looking at Loopy’s growing belly, I knew that my future progeny would never know a time when their sire was a stallion only.  Even our pet timberwolf, Twiggy, seemed to notice something different that evening.  He spent a lot of time dividing his attention between me and Steady.

When it was time to retire for the night, I had to urge Steady to join us in the Royal Suite.  “You’re not just my stallion, you’re part of the herd, and you get to sleep with the herd.  I’m sure you’ll want to be in your own bed when I’m a stallion, but now and whenever I’m female, your mare wants you to share our bed with you.”

That had not been a hard sell.  Getting him to make love to me again with all my mares watching was not so easy.  Yes, all. While a full complement of my wives was not common, everyone wanted to be present for this occasion.  I was quite used to it by now, but the former bachelor was not.  However, I was able to gain and keep his full attention soon enough.  After we were done, my herdmates gave him a hug and nuzzle before settling down for the night.  I played little spoon to his big.

Celestia gave me a mischievous smile and laid down behind him.  I heard her whisper in his ear, “Don’t get confused who is who, or you might just wake up on the sun.”  I giggled, figuring that my fifth herdmate’s sense of humor might make Steady feel a little… conflicted right then.

I got to cuddle Penny who liked it when I was in mare mode. While Chrysalis retired to her nest at the foot of the bed, the others found themselves a comfortable spot around us.

The royal bed was definitely crowded that night, but that did not matter to me.  I had my mares and I had my stallion.  I knew I was the happiest pony in Equestria right now.  Prove me wrong!


# # # # # # # # #

> A Busy Sunday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Equestria’s formal arrival to my home world would take place in a month, after which free time would be at a premium. Over the past several weeks, various last-minute emergencies pulled me or Twilight Sparkle away from taking our next scheduled inter-dimensional excursion. While I was mildly disappointed, the impatient tapping of the purple mare’s hoof emphasized how much she looked forward to today’s trip to an alternate Equestria. Behind me, Penumbra and Smolder kept their conversation down to whispers. My third herdmate and bodyguard wore her familiar Royal Guard armor while my daughter-in-law was garbed in a tailored gray business suit.

It was now tradition to bring along someone not in our core team and the young dragoness gave a convincing argument why she should be next. Several, in fact, along with an audio-visual summary of her qualifications; a magically animated presentation (arranged beforehoof with Trixie); and powerful testimony from the Canterlot Castle Exchequer, Chairponies of both the Large and Small Equestrian Business Associations, and Xyrdur – the President of the First Draconian Bank. When that dragoness wanted something, she went the extra mile to convince you!

The nanosecond that Shining Armor’s nose appeared in the doorway of the portal excursion chamber, his sister’s wings flared in exasperation. “Finally! BBBFF, are you ready or not?!”

The unicorn stallion stopped in his tracks and then gave me a smirk. “Did our resident im-perious, im-pertinent, im-patient, im-princess think I wasn’t going to show?”

I smiled. “It’s been almost two months of one thing or another. What do you think?”

Shining gave me a mock salute before hustling to his designated spot in front of likely version 11.2 of the multi-dimensional portal. After several seconds, he glanced over to his sister, who frowned at doubtless version 28.7 of her control panel. Her magic flipped switches and turned dials while her eyes scanned dozens of readouts and scrolling paper strips.

The unicorn chuckled. “Gee, sis. If I had known you wouldn’t be ready…” Whatever else he meant to say got derailed. Without looking up from her task, Twilight stretched both wings toward Shining and curled back all but the second primary.

While Shining gaped in shock, the rest of us burst out laughing, Penumbra rolling on the floor holding her stomach. Eventually, Twilight pulled her wings back and her sputtering brother found his voice. “Where did … Mark, did you teach my little Twily to do that?”

“He didn’t have to,” said the purple mare. “I’m more than capable of displaying the ‘Wait One Minute’ gesture from Mark’s homeworld.”

All laughter stopped and everyone else looked between each other. I could practically hear ‘Not it’ echo between us at a psychic level. No one volunteered to educate the Princess of Books.

Twilight Sparkle grinned and pushed a final button with a flourish, causing the portal to dutifully open with a swirling cascade of silvery light. “Or in this case, I thought I might need two minutes, so I gave you ‘The Finger’ twice.” That’s when she noticed all of us staring at her. “What?”

Lots of coughing and getting to our proper positions.

Shining charged his horn and looked forward. “No time for that, we’re behind schedule.” Before his sister could form a response, he leaped through the portal.

Twilight furrowed her brows and faced me. I deliberately ignored her implied question and said, “Tell me when.” My voice quavered more than a little. Penumbra came up to my side, her face expressing nothing but steadfast professionalism. This was somewhat ruined by the ‘accidental’ swat on my rump by her wings settling into position.

The alicorn frowned then shifted her gaze to the readouts. A few seconds later, she said, “Go.”

I walked through and stopped next to Shining Armor as he adjusted the frequency of his shield. I could then feel a gentle night breeze and the familiar lavender hue of the protective dome became transparent. That revealed the familiar nighttime view of the Canterlot Castle gardens … no, that wasn’t quite right.

Thanks to my daughter Orchard Breeze … well … the daughter I sired with Applejack. Anyway, thanks to Orchard Breeze’s passion for all types of flowers, I recognized what was different about this version of Equestria. Moonflower vines wove their way across hedges. The white, many-petaled Queen of the Night flowers decorated a patch of succulents. Scarlet Night Lillies lay scattered in every flower patch. The powerful aroma of Tuberose wafted across the gardens. What surprised me more was the abundance of flowers that should only bloom during the day: Sweetsickle, Luminaria, Day Chasers, and Southern Bygones.

I heard Penumbra gasp and Shining Armor whistle. As Smolder came through the portal, Penny said, “Mark, if you remake the castle gardens to look like this, I will make all of your dreams come true for a week.” She took a deep sniff of the fragrant air. “Scratch that … for an entire month.”

Twilight joined us and examined the area. “This is … wow! This is very impressive. I’ve never seen the gardens look this vibrant at night … or anytime for that matter!”

I said, “That’s not the impressive part.” I pointed a hoof at a wooden trellis covered by dark blue and bright yellow flowers. “Those are Midnight Creeper and Sun Twiners. Neither have chlorophyll and are parasitic. Except I don’t see a host plant. Granted the Twiner is a root parasite, but the Creeper is a stem parasite so what we’re seeing should not be possible!” I turned to see everyone staring at me, their heads tilted at the same angle. “What?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Mark, I didn’t know that.”

Smolder asked, “How, precisely, did you become so knowledgeable regarding plants?”

“Well, I am an alicorn. Earth pony aspect and all that.” The silence drew out until I caved with a sigh. “Applejack and I are encouraging our daughter’s interest in flowers. I’ve been studying.” After more silence, I added, “A lot.”

I was surrounded by nothing but skeptical expressions. “Listen, all I’m saying is that powerful earth pony magic is being used to rewrite the rules of nature...” I turned to stare back at the garden. “… to absolutely breathtaking effect.”

Two spots of darkness resolved into turquoise eyes. “I am most gratified that my hard work is so appreciated.” The rest of a Prussian Blue alicorn resolved from the shadows. “Dimension travelers, yes? I bid you all welcome to the domain of the Two Sisters.”

Luna stopped just outside the shield dome enveloping our party. She stood in front of Shining and smiled. “I guarantee your safety with my honor, General Armor. Please release your spell.”

The unicorn stallion raised his head slightly. “Twily? Mark?”

I shared a look with Twilight and we both nodded. I said, “Go ahead.”

After the shield winked out, our hostess bowed while keeping her eyes on Shining. “I am Queen Luna and rule with my sister, Queen Celestia. From your reactions, I take it I have counterparts on your dimensional plane?”

Twilight beamed. “That’s right! But my mentor and her sister have retired from their royal positions. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle. Prince Mark Wells, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, and I rule our Equestria in a triarchy. I. see you are already familiar with my brother and Prince of the Crystal Principality Shining Armor. Our other companions are Ambassador Smolder and Captain Penumbra of the Royal Guard.”

Luna bowed to each of us in turn. “I am pleased to welcome all of you to our realm. Know that my sister and I hold civility and improving relations of the highest importance. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make your visit more pleasant.” She smiled at Penny and let out a series of chirps, clicks, and hisses.

My bodyguard blinked. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I do not speak or understand High Changeling.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “My apologies. I was addressing you in the native tongue of all thestrals … well, of thestrals in this dimension. With my sister’s help, I created the race nine hundred years ago. I take it your genesis followed different means?”

I gave a warning glance to Twilight and Penny and decided to step in. “It did indeed. We would be delighted to accept your invitation. We will have to limit this initial trip to just two hours, however.”

“Inherent portal instability, I take it? Very well. We shall need to move things along. With your permission, I could teleport everyone to the Royal Receiving Salon.”

No one had any objections. Twilight said, “That would be wonderful. Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Luna spread her wings. “Everyone closer, please. With a party this large, it is easier when everyone is in contact with me.”





The Royal Receiving Salon proved to be much more laid back than our equivalent meeting space. Luna invited us to relax on low, wide chaise lounges scattered about the room. Equally wide and low tables made this a space where two dozen ponies could easily face each other and have a place to put their drinks or snacks. Bay windows led to a huge balcony, complete with similar furniture. The other walls contained mirrors and built-in drawers. Oddly, mirrors also covered most of the ceiling.

Luna practically flowed onto one of the lounges and raised a hoof. “My dear Sergeant Ivory Tower, would you please arrange for refreshments for our guests?”

The earth pony stallion bowed. “It would be my pleasure, Luna.”

After the stallion left, I asked, “Are your soldiers always so informal, Your Majesty?”

The blue mare shifted to get comfortable. “That is one of their many wonderful qualities. Our Equestria prides itself on promoting friendship and empathy between all. This has allowed us to maintain peaceful relations among the many races of our world.”

That piqued my curiosity. “We haven’t been so lucky. For example, the unicorn warlord Sombra attempted to conquer Equestria twice, as did the changeling queen Chrysalis. Did the same happen here?”

“Ah, yes. Quite the naughty stallion, that one. Contingents of dragons, ponies, and diamond dogs overwhelmed his forces. While Celestia distracted Sombra, I subdued him with a nullstone horn ring. He now enjoys the hospitality of the Canterlot Spa. His house arrest will not end until he sees reason. In the meantime, Queen Cadance and our dashing Shining Armor hold the kingdom in their receivership.”  She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “The citizens have grown quite fond of their new rulers. Let’s not tell Sombra that his past subjects are most unlikely to elect him back to his former office.”

Luna winked at me, and I gave the universal hoof-across-the-lips gesture. That secret was safe with me. 

Queen Luna tilted her head. “I am not familiar with the term ‘changeling,’ which your bodyguard also mentioned. Is this another species in your world?”

Twilight said, “Yes, Your … Yes, Luna. They resemble ponies but have an insectoid appearance. The drones have compound eyes and their princesses and hive queen have slit pupils similar to a cat.”  

“Ah! You mean ‘Good Fortune Ponies.’ Tradition holds that their appearance is a harbinger of good tidings. They are treated to a party in their honor and receive the good wishes of many ponies before they depart the next day.” 

Penumbra remarked, “Well, that would certainly promote friendly relations between your races.”  Somehow, she said this with a straight face. 

The blue mare reclined back in her seat. “Speaking of friendly relations, I’m afraid my sister will not be able to join us. She has been engaged in grueling negotiations with the Yak delegation for the last three days and it has taken everything out of her.”

Twilight practically beamed. “The negotiations have been successful, I take it?”

Luna grinned. “From what I have heard, they have been most fruitful.”

My co-ruler clapped her hooves and let out an adorable giggle. “Your Majesty, this dimension takes the Magic of Friendship to a level no other has achieved. Do … do you think I can learn how you and your sister accomplished this?”

Luna’s smile grew wider. “I would be glad to teach you, but first …” Her horn lit and the room’s double doors opened. “… we celebrate our growing fondness for each other!”

Attractive pony servants of both genders wheeled in carts laden with chocolate, fruits, peppers, and other delicacies. The cart that stopped in front of me carried a large carafe with dozens of colored lines swirling across its surface. Curious, I touched a yellow line, causing it to glow brightly. Tipping the carafe resulted in a measured amount of the same-colored liquid to pour into a waiting shot glass.

I picked up the shooter and examined the drink within. The yellow liquid matched the now unlit line on the flask. I offered the glass to Penny, getting the expected scowl in return. Penny never drank while on duty.

Turning away from my herdmate, I took a sniff, a sip, and then smacked my lips. “This is the finest mango liqueur I’ve ever tasted.” I heard a pained whine behind me.

The maid who had pushed in the cart curtseyed. “Thank you. Equestria strives to provide only the finest we can offer to our honored guests. All in the name of Friendship!” I didn’t have to turn my head to know which of our party let out a happy squeal behind me.

Studying the flask, I found the expected line that changed color between blue, red, and purple. I touched it and filled a new shooter with multi-colored liquid. After a taste, I waved a hoof. “Shining, come over here and tell me what you think.”

My friend took a sip, and his suspicious look was replaced by one of genuine surprise. “This tastes like… no... tastes better than Crystal Principality Twenty Year Reserve. The Empire has been making crystal berry spirits for centuries.” He turned to face our hostess. “You didn’t break open a keg of Arcane Distiller’s Masterpiece, did you? I’ve heard the stories told about it but none of his handiwork from a century before the city’s banishment is left in my world.”

The dark alicorn nodded. “Most impressive, young stallion. Your counterpart in this dimension does not have the skills of a sommelier, while I see you have mastered them. Know that I am the Mistress of Dreams, and I include in my duties the task of making dreams come true. I am sincerely gratified that your visit has fulfilled one of them… so far.” She uncoiled from the couch and stood in front of my friend. “Tell me, when you were a young soldier, did you ever dream to put on the armor of Commander Hurricane?”

Shining gasped and stammered. “I… well… every colt who goes into the military has that fantasy. It’s only natural, really.” While the unicorn was distracted, I saw a few badly concealed grins on the stallion guards and valets.

Luna stood and curtsied. “I would be honored if you permit me to guide you from personal dream to reality.”

“Uh…”

She lifted her head and smiled broadly. “Truly, nothing would make me happier.”

The unicorn blushed and shuffled in place. “Well, I suppose…”

“Splendid!” The lunar alicorn touched his chest with a wing and they disappeared with a pop of inrushing air.

Smolder came up to my side, holding out a cupped hand. “Mark, these are fire opals from the Peaks of Peril. In our Equestria, between their scarcity and the Kirin’s possessiveness, you can only find them in the highest-end jewelry.”

I grinned back at my daughter-in-law. “So, you’re torn between making these the pinnacle of your hoard and chowing down.”

She hesitated, then picked up the smallest with the claws of her other hand. “Well, maybe just one more.” She popped it in her mouth and let out a delighted hum.

A maid approached me levitating a tray piled high with varied chocolates. “Can I tempt you to sample my wares? I made them fresh this morning!” She looked uncannily like… I looked at her cutie mark… it was her!

The mare caught where my eye had roamed and smiled wider, giving her rear a little shake. I said, “Thank you, Fleur. I’d love to try one. Which would you recommend?” To my left, Penny growled. I had a pretty good idea why given this flirtatious mare in front of me.

It seemed that this world’s Fleur De Lis did as well. “Doctor De Lis prescribes a dark chocolate ganache truffle for the handsome stallion and candied mango bonbon for his most dedicated bodyguard.”

After we both took the offered chocolates, Penny raised an eyebrow. “No alcohol?”

The unicorn mare held up a hoof and made a familiar gesture. “Filly Scout’s Honor! While I do have a line of infused confections, that would be a bit redundant when the finest vintages are already available for our guests.” She gently clapped her hoof on her forehead. “Oh, je suis tellement oublieux! How could I forget my duties so? Would either of you care to try the Chateau Bout Du Nez, Year of the Sisters 987? I understand it is très merveilleux!”

Penny gave me a warning glare and I shrugged. Fine with me if she wanted to be my Royal Taste Tester. She chewed her bonbon carefully while looking up and to the right. After several seconds, Penumbra nodded and helped herself to my truffle. A full half-minute later, she gave her verdict. “She can stay. I’ll need another sample… or two… of both.”

“But of course!” said Fleur while extending the tray closer.

Soon, Penny and I sat on one of the low couches, a glass of excellent wine held in my right hoof. My levitation magic had been officially roped into the role of maintaining a holding pattern for a dozen chocolates Penumbra had selected to try next… along with several on my list. I heard a deep voice. “Would the lady care for a quick oiling and rubdown of your beauteous and unparalleled wings?”

“Not while I’m on d—”

Penny’s words of protest died in her throat when she saw the speaker. An imposing specimen of a black pegasus crouched next to her. While Dusky Wings had practically no body fat, the muscle definition on this stallion put the Colonel to shame. Although it could have been an effect of the oils rubbed onto his body and feathers, I doubted that was the case. If Rarity had accompanied us on this trip, she would not have let the pegasus out of her sight until he agreed to model her next line of fashions for stallions.

“Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Implied Consent, and I am the Master Castle Masseur. I would be forever in your debt if I could provide effleurage and petrissage to your magnificent flying membranes. Truly, in all my years, no pony with the like has graced my massage table.” He gave her a cheeky grin. “Can you think of a more pleasant way to spend your time while my subordinates work on your princess?” A glance showed he was correct. Twilight Sparkle lay stretched out on a low couch as three stallions massaged her wings and back. Happy moans let us know what she thought of the pampering. Beyond her, an earth pony mare applied a file to Smolder’s foot talons while chattering with the dragoness.

Penumbra pursed her lips. After a bit, she said, “Very well. Unlike our now-vacationing Triarch, I am still on duty. Restrict yourself to my wings only.”

The stallion gave a fluid bow and moved to a spot behind and to the left of my mate. “I am your humble servant, Miss…?”

“Penumbra. And it’s ‘Captain’.” She extended her left wing and returned her attention to me. “Pardon the interruption, Your Highness. Please continue.”

I narrowed my eyes. While my herdmate would often use my formal title during interdimensional excursions, my intuition told me she was picking up on something I wasn’t. Regardless, I turned back to Fleur De Lis. “So, you are a chocolatier in this dimension. In mine, you are a fashion model, the most famous in Equestria, in fact.”

“Oh, sir.” She giggled. She lifted a curl of hair behind an ear as she blushed. “You are quite the flirt, if I may be so bold as to tell you. But you are correct. I am very proud to say all the ingredients in my confections are locally sourced.”

“I was being perfectly serious,” I protested. “I do have a question, though I hesitate to ask as it might be inappropriate.”

She beamed. “Please feel welcome here, Mark. No question is inappropriate in our realm.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back. “How do you get cacao trees to grow in Equestria?”

“What?” She leaned back and furrowed her brows. “What?  What did you say?”

I waved a hoof. “All cocoa powder in my Equestria comes from Zebrica, where they know how to keep secrets. Our Princess Celestia has earned the trust of a few families who have acted as her political agents for generations. They clam up faster than a cragadile biting a stick whenever the subject of ‘chocolate’ comes up. My earth pony daughter has made the cocoa tree one of her hobbies. However, between soil moisture and acidity, temperature gradients, symbiotic root fungi, insect and animal pests, tree diseases, differing levels of sunlight during the growing season, etc., etc., she, and by extension, all of Equestria has never gotten close to making a decent product.” I sighed. “During the last trade dispute with Zebrica, ponies had to resort to substituting with carob for three months.”

The beautiful mare stuck her tongue out. “Ugh! I can’t… that’s awful! Let me…” She turned her head and called out “TEMPS! Get over here!” The unicorn smiled. “Temperate Growth is my partner and is an absolute genius at producing the finest cocoa beans in all of Equus, and all year round! My special talent is to take the product from powder to finished product.”

An earth pony mare with a dark green coat and dark brown mane and tail trotted up. She practically bounced on her hooves and her tail swished happily. “Yes, Dear?”

The unicorn tilted her head my way. “Mark has a question for you… well, for the both of us.”

Temperate Season looked me up and down then smiled wider. “Oh, and what would that question be?”

Fleur drew out the silence for a few seconds then said, “What is the ideal soil ribozyme balance for late-season cocoa pod yields?”

The earth pony’s smile fell, and she blinked. “What? What did you say?”

“His daughter wants to learn everything there is to know about growing cocoa trees. Their Equestria hasn’t gotten past the ‘tastes like moldy carob’ level of cocoa powder quality.”

“Oh! OK, umm…” She turned to face me. “Your daughter is welcome to join me when I go to my greenhouses every morning. I start an hour before dawn. I hope she doesn’t mind getting up early.”

I floated another bonbon from Fleur’s tray into the ring of delectable perfection orbiting nearby. “Quite the opposite. Her mother tells me the trick is to get Orchard Breeze to sleep at all. She’s still searching for her cutie mark and would dedicate every hour of the day and night to that quest if Applejack allowed it.”

Fleur drew Temperate into a hug. “Hah! That doesn’t change with adulthood. Sometimes I have to go to extreme lengths to get my business partner and best friend to come to bed.”

The earth pony mare gave the unicorn a gentle poke in the ribs with the tip of her hoof. “You’re a fine one to talk, Miss ‘I can’t get the creaminess quite right on my new creation! There are only six weeks before the Chocolate Olympiad!’”

“You know I have to keep reinventing myself every year. Those hippogriff brothers, that parrot, and Abyssinian could have easily won last year. Me, I’ll have to innovate if I’m going to get that tenth gold ribbon.” The unicorn’s voice took on a facetious tone. “I mean, sure, you make perfect cocoa beans and powder every season, what’s the big deal?”

Her partner gasped and held a hoof to her chest. “Excuse me? Are you forgetting the hours I put into testing and categorizing every batch of cocoa so you can adjust and select the perfect match for each creation? Am I going senile already?”

They both stopped, shared a look, and gave me sheepish grins. Fleur tittered and put a hoof to her lips. “Please forgive us, sir. This is an old argument, and we aren’t catering to you at all.”

I waved a hoof. “No, please don’t let me stop you. Your antics are quite entertaining. Feel free to continue.”

The two mares gave me the same, penetrating stare. Temperate Season shifted her gaze to Penny. “Your Mark isn’t like other stallions, is he?”

Penumbra furled her left wing and opened her right, prompting her masseur to scramble to the other side. “He may have been dropped on his head as a foal… perhaps several times… perhaps on purpose. We’ll likely never know. Still, his six wives are happy enough with the end result to keep him around.”

“Six wives!” they both exclaimed. Fleur said, “My bestie and I have been jabbering long enough… for your entertainment. Now you get to entertain us by sharing how you ensnared or were ensnared by six wives.”

Temperate snagged a truffle from the levitating plate and held it out to me. “While you give your honest opinion of our wares.”





Ten minutes later, the double doors to the room opened to reveal a scowling Shining Armor. Frequent trips with my foals to the Royal Canterlot Museum let me recognize his barding as that once worn by Commander Hurricane. Beside him floated Queen Luna encased in a bubble of his magenta aura. She was protesting, trying to convince my friend to reconsider. I couldn’t make out any more of what she was saying because the stallion guards were falling all over themselves laughing.

Luna turned her attention to them. “What are you fools doing? Your Queen needs your assistance!”

One guard struggled to his hooves and wiped tears away with a forehoof. “He — ha, ha, ha! — He… he said ‘No’, Luna.”

The other guard said, “It’s right there in the Precepts:  Every being has the right to ask to make love and every being has the right to refuse.”

Twilight’s ears perked up from her spot underneath the three stallions attending her. “Wait. What was that?”

“The Precepts of Harmony, of course!” said the masseur straddling her back and attending to her withers with a gentle percussion of his hooves. He leaned over her a bit more. “It’s the basis of the Magic of Friendship.” He glanced at his two companions who gave knowing nods. He must have missed seeing the purple mare’s eyes go wide. He said, “The three of us are most familiar with your counterpart in this world… although that hardly makes us unique.”  The stallion scooted down her back. “Shall we move on to your favorite—”

Any further words he meant to say were cut off by Twilight’s aura wrapping his mouth closed and lifting him off of her. The same happened to the other two masseurs.

Penumbra, Smolder, and I took one look at Twilight’s blushing face and just about died laughing. When I could get my breath back, I said, “Say there, Princess of Friendship, do you think—” A familiar lavender aura clamped my muzzle shut, much to the further merriment of my herdmate and daughter-in-law.

Shining Armor carried his reluctant cargo back to where she had been lounging previously and released her from his magic.

Luna waved her hooves above her head. “But… I don’t understand!”  She looked at me with pleading eyes. “I heard what your bodyguard told you. And you sired a filly with Applejack. Your dimension regards sex the same as ours — as a way to deepen common bonds and friendship!”

Smolder said, “My father-in-law’s debt to Rainbow Dash led to his twice siring a foal in her wife, and Penumbra is one of Prince Mark’s six wives.”

Luna’s ears perked forward in interest.

Penny’s smile showed all her fangs. “Of which, the latest is a Princess Luna from another dimension.”

Luna’s head drooped and she covered her face with her hooves. “I am destined to die a spinster — forever denied what I most desire.”

I teleported to the opposite side of my couch to free myself from Twilight’s magic. “So, what’s this spinster talk?”

Fleur and Temperate walked up to my sides while two guards gave consoling hugs to their sovereign. Fleur said, “Some years ago, our Shining Armor came of age and reached the rank of General. He caught the eye of Queens Luna and Cadance, resulting in a captivating battle for his attention. He decided on the Crystal Empire Queen who whisked him off to her realm where he rules as King by her side. The married couple have an antiquated and rather strict view on monogamy.”

The earth pony mare added, “Exotic, but not unheard of.”

Shining said, “So this seemed like your one chance to ‘make your dream come true’. My condolences, Your Majesty, but my Cadance likewise holds a place in my heart no other mare may occupy.”

He unbuckled the peytral and cruppers and placed them to the side. Shining then levitated the helmet and crinet off of his head and neck. “Thank you for the opportunity to wear Commander Hurricane’s armor.” While his words were polite, his tone was clipped and formal. “That is a memory I will cherish always. Now, I regretfully must take my leave.”

“Wait.” Luna nodded to the two guards beside her who returned to their stations by the door. The blue alicorn stood and faced my friend. “I would be a poor representative of my Equestria if I could not accept your refusal, Prince Shining Armor. I apologize for my… indiscretion. I shall not so trouble you again.”

My friend nodded, though the corded muscles in his neck betrayed his true mood.

Luna’s magic floated her crown to the nearest wall where it settled into a recess. Below, a wide mirrored panel dropped down to reveal an intricately carved red wooden stand holding a sheathed sword. As they drifted towards the blue alicorn, I noticed that her magic only touched the stand. The decorations on the scabbard and hilt, although finely wrought, looked … plain. That did not explain the excited whispering among the servants and guards.

Luna gripped the stand with both hooves. “While I admit personal disappointment, I admire your conviction, Prince Shining Armor. I gift to you the final sword made by Steadfast the Enchanter.”

Fleur and Temperate gasped and grabbed my withers. Similar reactions came from the rest of this world’s ponies. I shared a look with Twilight. Her frown confirmed that in all our travels across dimensions, neither of us had heard of this pony weaponsmith.

My unicorn friend clenched his jaw. “Thank you very much for the offer, Your Majesty. However, I must respectfully —”

Luna interrupted with a touch of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Her mane and tail turned a shade darker. “There shall not be peace between our realms if you refuse this gift.”

The silence was total while Shining Armor and Luna stared each other down. The tension broke when my friend bowed. “Thank you, Your Majesty. On behalf of all those in my dimension, I accept your generous gift in the hopes our citizens forever know the joys of friendship.”

Penumbra caught my eye and nodded toward Twilight. My co-ruler’s cheeks turned red again. It might be a while until the word “friendship” stopped having that extra meaning.

When Shining Armor’s hooves touched the sword, I saw and heard a spark. He jerked and his eyes widened.

With the same strident voice, Luna declared, “May it protect you at all times so that you may forever serve your Crystal Empire and return to your true love, Princess Cadance Mi Amore Cadenza.”

The unicorn stallion blinked a few times and swayed on his hooves. Luna strode past him, perhaps accidentally brushing against his side with a wing. “Princess Sparkle. Is there a means to create a permanent portal between our realms? My sister will want to visit with all of you at a time of your convenience… after she recovers.”

“What? Oh! Of course, Your Majesty.”

The blue alicorn held up a hoof. “Please, just Luna. We are all friends here.”

Twilight smiled. “OK, Luna. Here are the two sapphires that I’ve enchanted for just that purpose. Based on our experience, we always set up a redundant portal. That’s because…”

I was distracted from the conversation by kisses on either cheek.

Fleur said, “Don’t be a stranger, Mark. Come by any time.”

Temperate Season looked in my eyes. “The offer for your daughter to come visit is always open. Please take advantage of it. Who knows? Maybe growing cocoa trees will be her special talent.”

“Or making chocolate!” Added the unicorn mare with a grin.

“Oh, it’s always about you, isn’t it?” Teased her partner.

“As it should be. Who cares about the ingredients? All that anyone cares about is the finished product.”

Their grins and intertwined tails let me know this was another old and playful argument.

Next to me, Penny said, “Thank you, Implied Consent. That will be all.” She furled her right wing and stood up. The black Pegasus stallion bowed and trotted back to the other masseurs.

I cocked an eyebrow at my herdmate. “You kept getting a wing massage through all that drama?”

She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? These ponies have their priorities straight. Best to flow with the tide rather than fight it.”

I snorted. “Tell that to Shining Armor. So, when did you figure out their… unique take on friendship?”

“The minute we came to the ‘Royal Receiving Lounge’. If you had read some of Rarity’s cheaper romance novels, you would have recognized the purpose of the room. It’s for… group parties.” I looked with fresh eyes at the low couches and tables, large pillows, and mirrors everywhere.

Penumbra whispered in my ear. “Now you have to decide whether to use this realm as an opportunity for an epic prank on the rest of our herd or as a romantic getaway.”

I whispered back, “Why would I choose just one?”





Twilight went through the portal back to our Equestria first. When the reflective surface of the dimensional gateway shimmered with a hint of green, that was our cue. My co-ruler had disabled the dimensional exclusivity filter. If she hadn’t, organic beings and large objects like Shining’s new sword would have stayed on this side of the portal. It only took one desperate battle in the portal room against a horde of parasprites to learn that lesson and plan accordingly. Plus, this prevented uninvited visitors.

After all of us transitioned back to our Equestria, Twilight shut the gateway down and let out a huge sigh. In response to my chuckle, she said, “I don’t want to hear it, Mark.” That made me laugh out loud.

Smolder moved past me – using the sunshine streaming through the window high overhead to illuminate her palm, specifically the small collection of fire opals in it. Strange. I could have sworn she had more than just those five or six. “That was fantastic, and I even got a professional talonicure! I’m so glad I chose to tag along on this trip.” She smiled. “This is the best day, ever!”

A deep voice rumbled, “As much as I like rubies, those opals are equally impressive.”

In stages, my daughter-in-law’s expression fell. She picked out the smallest of the fire opals with her claws and held it up to the sunlight, turning it this way and that, causing a cascade of rainbow colors to wash in every direction. “No,” she said. “Not this one.” The dragoness popped it into her mouth and chewed.

She plucked out another and tossed it over her shoulder. Major Dusky Wings flowed out of her shadow to catch the gem with a wing membrane.

Smolder walked toward the portal room’s exit. “My husband and I will meet you at the Lusty Mare after sundown to pay up on that beer I owe you.”

With a beat of his wings, the thestral head of the Night Guard Special Task Force disappeared into the shadows overhead.

I called after Smolder. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t notice him either.”

She didn’t bother to look back at me. “Not in the least.”

Twilight moved away from the portal terminal and stood next to her brother. “May I see that, please?”

Shining Armor had been staring into the distance but snapped his attention back to his sister. “See what?”

She frowned. “The last sword made by Steadfast the Enchanter.”

“Oh, right! Sorry!” He levitated the scabbarded sword above his sister’s lavender magic field then his magenta magic winked out. The weapon fell straight to the marble floor.

Twilight tried twice to pick up the sword. “That’s strange. BBBFF, please draw the sword for me.” Shining had no trouble retrieving the weapon with his magic and pulling the blade free of the scabbard.

Twilight tried grabbing the sword again, then her brother, then the scabbard. At her direction, he placed the scabbard on the floor. As soon as his magic let it go, Twilight’s lifted it off the floor. “Physical or magic contact required. We really should have gotten a manual with this.” She tapped her chin with a hoof.

Squinting, I could see a slight glow around the stallion even though his horn wasn’t lit. That gave me an idea. “Shining, try putting up a shield.”

He nodded. “Sure, I … whoa!” The resulting bubble was darker than normal. “This feels … much stronger, but I’m not using any more mana than usual.”

“Twilight, go back a few steps, please. Thank you. Shining, get ready.” I looked over my shoulder. “Penny, tracking band.”

The unicorn stallion’s eyes went wide and he quickly doubled the size of his shield. That would give him time to cut off the flow of magic to his horn if or when his shield failed.

The nullstone tracking band uncoiled as it flew toward Shining Armor, only to bounce off again and again with a hail of sparks. This repeated for several seconds with bits of stone or metal links occasionally falling away. With a loud pop, the band burst into several inert shards.

“Anything?” I asked the stallion.

“Much less of a strain than I expected. My shield feels two or three times as strong but something… I think the sword is taking a big part of the strain. There should have been jolts draining my magic each time the band hit my shield, but I barely felt them. Still, I wouldn’t want to face ten or fifteen of those things.” My co-ruler continued tapping her chin as her brother dropped his shield. “No, Twily, we are not trying that ‘just for the sake of Science’.”

Twilight waved an airy hoof. “Of course not. Plenty of time for those experiments later. Shiny, would you place the sword at my hooves, please?”

After he did so and released it, she encased the weapon in her lavender field. “OK. Try just willing it back to your hoof … Ow!” Her magic dissipated with a pop.

Shining gasped with the sword hilt firmly in his grip. “Sis! Are you alright?”

Twilight winced and rubbed a hoof to her forehead. “Yes, yes. Just surprised mostly.” She moved closer. “Well, that answers that question. The sword disrupts unicorn magic. Enough to counter an alicorn-strength shield.” She stopped a full body length away. “Now point the blade toward me and concentrate on holding it steady.”

Her brother chose to do so by using two hooves to grab the grip. That made sense given the unpredictability of what he held.

As her magic swept over the blade repeatedly, her ears perked upward higher and higher. She grinned and clopped her forehooves together then did a little shimmy. Penny nudged me with an elbow. When I looked her way, she mouthed out the word ‘adorable’. I grinned back. My herdmate had read my thoughts exactly.

After a few minutes, Twilight’s horn aura winked out. “BBBFF, this is an amazing artifact!  I recognize some of the protective spells woven in:  rapid slowing of incoming projectiles; air in a vacuum or otherwise hostile environment; protection from heat, cold, electricity, and acid. Some defensive and all offensive capabilities are shielded, which makes sense. You’ll need to go back and ask Queen Luna about those.”  With her gaze fixed on the sword, she missed her brother’s shocked expression. Trust Twilight Sparkle to ignore any social implications when focused on novel magic.

And trust Penny to get everyone back on track. “So, are we done for today? Just going to play with our toys rather than visiting the second dimension on our schedule?”

Shining picked up the scabbard and slid his sword into it. “I had no way to alert any of you when… if I got into trouble. We aren’t going anywhere without better precautions.” 

I remembered one of the inventions made by Twilight’s research teams. “The spec ops band?”  

The white stallion nodded. “One that is tuned to a unique frequency, just for our group.”  He pointed at the band visible on his right fetlock. “Our current bands can connect to Twilight’s across the portal to give the all clear … and that’s it. As soon as I left the… party room…”  Next to me, Penumbra coughed to regain her composure. “… it was out of range.”

I said, “Can the spec ops bands be altered to work across the dimensional portal?”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Eventually. For now, we’ll have to use the originals.” Her horn lit and a box appeared in her hoof. After opening the lid, she levitated out four bands, passing one each to Shining, Penumbra, and myself. 

As I placed it on my left fetlock opposite the cross-dimensional band, the spec-ops band shimmered and disappeared. I could still feel its light compression on my skin. I observed the bands the rest of the party put on likewise turn invisible. 

Twilight said, “Thanks, BBBFF. We should have been wearing these ages ago. No time like the present!”

Penumbra put on her training ground instructor voice. “Let’s review. Press to activate. One long vibration – Immediate danger. Two short vibrations – Come to me right away. The bracelet will then vibrate strongest in the direction you need to go. Three short vibrations – Retreat. In our case, get back through the portal.”  

I pointed to the scabbarded sword. “You taking that with you?” 

Shining pursed his lips and then looked at his sister. “Twily?  Would you mind teleporting me to my family’s chambers, specifically my office?”

Twilight grinned and put a hoof on his withers. “Don’t want little Camellia playing with your latest toy?  She’s only a year old.”

He snorted. “And too clever by half. Takes after her mother. Even with the enchantments linking me to this blade exclusively, I don’t want to take that risk.” The pair teleported away with an inrush of air. I had to agree with Shining’s caution. While his third daughter (so far) was still tiny, her focus was laser-sharp. The little unicorn could pay no mind to the world for hours until she puzzled out every way possible to play with a new toy. I had to disagree with her father in one area – little Camellia took after her auntie, not her mom.

Seconds later the pair reappeared in the portal excursion room. Twilight teleported the dozen or so feet and set to work adjusting the portal controls. As Shining took his place immediately in front of the mirror, I turned to my third wife. “So, Penny. Do you think my co-ruler is in a hurry because she’s eager to get in a second portal exploration today, or does she want to remove the taste in her mouth from the last trip?”

I had made sure to say this loud enough for Twilight to hear, which was confirmed by her twitching ears. 

Penny showed me her fangs. “Maybe, maybe not. That Luna set an example for Equestrian princesses that’s hard to follow.”

“Ready,” said Twilight. She jabbed the red button on her console and growled, “Any time, BBBFF.”

“Ma’am!  Yes, Ma’am!” Shining fired off a salute and then jumped through the portal. 





My bodyguard and I emerged into a familiar scene visible past Shining Armor’s shield – the Canterlot Castle gardens at midday. 

Penny got our attention and pointed to a flight of pegasi over the city wearing dull gray armor. “Are those Crystal Guard troops?”  

Shining Armor followed her gaze. “Yes, they are. That’s an obsolete design from King Sombra’s reign right before Cadance and I took over. I also see patrols wearing the old Solar Guard and Night Guard regalia. That’s very odd.”

Nothing else appeared out of the ordinary while we waited to be noticed. About a minute later, a gardener earth pony did just that and fled to the castle. A squad of unicorns in dark blue and silver Night Guard armor galloped into the gardens and halted a dozen pony-lengths away. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to speak.

The Major leading the group interrupted me. “Please wait until their Majesties arrive.”

Shining and I exchanged a look. He held up his right fetlock and I nodded before he pressed it. The situation appeared tense but not overtly hostile. It was safe for my co-ruler to come through. Soon, Twilight stood next to her brother as they exchanged quiet words. During that time, teams of gold-clad and gray-clad soldiers arrived, setting up in separate zones around the shield bubble. 

Penumbra whispered into my ear. “Odd that the Solar, Night, and Crystal Guard troops stay apart and don’t communicate with each other.”  I nodded my agreement. 

The three groups of soldiers parted to allow this world’s Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to approach. Each wore a full set of armor matching their soldier’s designs. The alicorns stopped outside our shield and waited. None showed any emotional reaction to the four of us, making me wonder how history had played out in this dimension.

Twilight took the lead. “Greetings, Your Majesties Celestia, Luna, and Cadance.”

“My name is Mi Amore Cadenza,” said this world’s Cadance sharply.

Twilight gave her a slight bow. “Ah. Thank you for the correction, Your Majesty.” She scanned across the three rulers. “My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I come from a parallel Equestria to spread the Magic of Friendship across dimensions. We seek to gain knowledge of this realm and to provide aid and understanding where we are permitted. My fellow Triarch Prince Mark Wells, his bodyguard Captain Penumbra, and Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Principality wish to open relations with your realm to promote Harmony across our worlds.”  She finished with a beaming smile.

“All troops, stand down!” yelled Celestia, followed quickly by similar orders from Luna and Cadance. Yeah, I’ll continue to call her that in my head instead of the full title this one preferred. 

Queen Luna said, “Please lower your shield, Prince Armor. I believe I speak for all the queens when I say we accept your offer. We shall convene in the Throne Room.” 

With that, the three alicorns took wing and flew toward the palace, each surrounded by the pegasi of their guard.

A major from each faction approached the shield, which Shining Armor allowed to dissipate. The Night Guard major said, “If you would please follow us, Your Highnesses.”

Twilight let out a delighted laugh and reached out with her wings to touch everypony in our party. “Oh, I’ve already checked the castle for magic wards. There’s no need!”  Just as my mind connected the dots, her horn flashed and the four of us stood in the center of this world’s Throne Room. 

Shining Armor said, “Twily, I think they wanted us to walk here.”

The purple mare frowned. “Really?  I guess I missed that.”

I looked around the chamber. Empty of ponies, extra decorations, guest seating, or nearly anything else. The stained glass depicted only the three rulers: No Mane Six; no Discord or Tirek or Sombra; not even ponies worshiping the alicorns. 

Penumbra frowned. “These three certainly have a high opinion of themselves.” 

I couldn’t argue. “These versions also seem to be sticklers on formality. I think it would be best to do the same.”

Perhaps five minutes later, the three rulers entered simultaneously from different doors and flew up to their respective thrones stretching across the wide dais. After they sat down, I bowed and addressed them as a group. “Thank you for receiving us, Your Majesties.”  

Queen Celestia occupied the central throne and waved a hoof. “It is my… our pleasure to entertain royalty from another Equestria. I take it you are looking for allies and trade partners across realms?”

Twilight said, “If it pleases the Triarchy, then yes. Also, we would like to trade information. We have provided warnings of potential threats and details about resources that may be unknown to you. In my role as Princess of Friendship, I study the many ways Harmony manifests itself across dimensions.”

Luna stood and began descending the steps. “A splendid idea.”  She looked to the side. “Servants!  Wine and refreshments!”  The other two rulers hastened to catch up and likewise called out the same instructions. Surprising me not in the least, even the waiters and their food and drink carts sported the livery of one of the three rulers. 

Our party made small talk with Celestia, Luna, and Cadance for a while with the three queens deflecting topics of any importance. During a brief lull when no one spoke with me, Penumbra caught my eye, making a slight head gesture toward the nearest waiter followed by her pressing her lips together. I gave her the smallest of nods as I sampled the excellent vintage of Nearside Cellars Piony Noir. Message received. The staff were as uncommunicative as the soldiers that met us in the garden. 

“Princess Twilight tells me you have six wives, Your Highness.”  I turned to see all three rulers focused on me. Ah, here we go again. 

“That’s right, Cad… Your Majesty.”  I stopped myself from giving my now-practiced reply describing the preponderance of mares in our dimension. “Would you like me to describe them or would you prefer to see photos?”

Now all three alicorns perked their ears in my direction. “Oh, yes please!” said Cadance.

I reached into my dimensional storage to retrieve the same family photo album Trixie had shown in the insect queen dimension. Levitating it in front of me, I turned it around so all three queens could see. “My first wife and lead mare of our herd is Princess Trixie Lulamoon, the third member of our Triarchy. Our children are Gemini on her left and Spotlight on her right.”  After a few seconds of silence, I turned the page with my magic. “On the left page is the Element of Generosity and fashionista extraordinaire Rarity Belle with our daughter Pearl. Captain Penumbra is my third wife. Our son Verdant and his fiancé Yolanda haven’t told us when they’ll marry but have promised not to surprise us at the last minute or elope!” 

Shining Armor spoke up. “Even now with the ‘Dad Jokes’, Mark?”

I grinned. “Can’t help it!  I’ve got too many kids not to do so!”  I expected questions, comments, or laughs but none were forthcoming from our hosts. Mentally shrugging, I turned the page with my magic.

The next page certainly captured the rulers’ interest. They crowded close enough to stand shoulder to shoulder. I said, “This is my fourth wife, Queen Chrysalis of the Canterlot Hive. We have nearly a thousand drones together and three princesses. Obviously, I couldn’t include a photo of—”

“What… race is this?” asked Cadance.

“Chryssy is a changeling. All changelings can shapeshift, and they feed on positive emotions. You haven’t encountered them in your dimension?  Even rumors?”

Luna shook her head. “None. They don’t … must not exist here.”  She took a step back while giving a pointed stare at her co-rulers. Celestia and Cadance likewise retreated until the alicorns no longer touched.

Queen Celestia pointed at the opposite page. “And you have married my counterpart, I take it?”

All three stared at me instead of the book. I scanned my eyes across them before answering. “Yes. After retiring from ruling Equestria, Celestia explored our world for several years before returning to Canterlot and proposing.”

The white alicorn’s smile reached the corner of her eyes for the first time. “I commend your excellent judgment, Your Highness.”

Queen Luna glared at her co-ruler before turning the page with her magic. She laughed. “Ah!  I see you saved the best for last.”  

I chuckled. At least this part of the royal sisters’’ relationship was familiar. “Princess Luna is a diarch in one of the realms we aided through our excursions through Twilight’s interdimensional portal. She pursued me to be her husband until I agreed.”

Twilight stepped up next to me. “The magic involved was quite interesting! Mark’s Luna cast a poorly formed variant of Star Swirl the Bearded’s time-travel spell that trapped her in a cycle of repeating the same day over and over. Bringing her to our universe and closing the gateway broke the spell’s parasitic drain on her magic, causing the spell to collapse. The next day, we opened a portal to find… well… the next day.”

Cadance said, “Most interesting, Your Highnesses. I’m sorry to cut this meeting short, but the prospect of… trade with your realm is something the three of us must discuss further.”

Luna looked at her co-ruler with narrowed eyes before giving me a slight nod. “Thank you for showing us your family, Your Highness.”

Celestia said, “I’m sorry for the abruptness of cutting our meeting short, but Cadance is correct. We must confer.”  I didn’t miss the annoyed ear twitch at Queen Mi Amore Cadenza being addressed by anything other than her full title. The white mare levitated three bottles from the drink cart bearing golden decorations before pausing. Two bottles returned to her cart, replaced by one each from the silver and gray carts. Celestia’s aura passed a bottle to Twilight, Shining Armor, and me. “Please accept these as a token of our budding friendship.”

Twilight took the bottle in her magic and smiled as she studied the label. “Why, thank you, Your Majesty… Majesties. Scribner’s Plantation produces exceptional merlot in any dimension.”  She extended her wings. “If you like I could…”  Twilight saw me shake my head. “… ah… we could all walk back to our portal.”  

The three rulers nodded, and we paired up:  Celestia got up to speed on her counterpart’s history as mentor to Twilight, Luna asked me about the various Lunas across dimensions, and Cadance asked Shining Armor about the Crystal Principality. My friend was not volunteering the fact that he was married to our Princess Cadance. I considered pranking him with that bit of news but my gut told me not to do so.

“Farewell, welcome guests,” said Queen Luna.

Twilight said, “It’s been our pleasure!  Shall we plan to meet here again in one week?”

After a few seconds of silence, Cadance said, “It would be most ideal for us to proceed in that manner. We shall look forward to it.”  That drew glares and frowns from the other two rulers. Was it the odd phrasing?

Twilight smiled. “Splendid!  We’ll see you then.”

I said, “Twilight?”  When I had her attention, I pointed a wing at her wine bottle. She gave me a sheepish smile and allowed me to take it in my magic. The purple mare entered the portal and we waited for it to flash green.

I bowed to the triarchs. “Until next week, Your Majesties.”  The three alicorns were looking at each other and I don’t know if they heard me. Regardless, it was time to go. I passed through the portal followed by Shining Armor then Penumbra. 

“Whoa!”  I heard Twilight exclaim. Trotting up to her side, I saw her fiddling with the various knobs and dials. 

“Problem?” I asked.

“Rough transition. Don’t know why yet.”  A few seconds later, she sighed and hit the large red button. The portal shimmered and collapsed. She looked up. “Some sort of interference, maybe?  It cleared up, but I’m going to stay here and go over the printouts.”

“Before you do, what were everypony’s initial impressions?”

Shining Armor stomped a hoof. “Mark, remember when our forces mustered in the daggerscale portal room before we portaled into Las Pegasus to fight the Storm King? That’s the only time I’ve felt tension in the air like I did in that dimension.” 

Penny said, “I tried several times to strike up a conversation with the guards and waiters. Didn’t get so much as a look or a nod from any of them. They’re wound up so tight I’m afraid they’ll explode.” 

Twilight tilted her head. “Mark, you got their Luna and Celestia to at least smile a little bit. That gives us something to build on next week, even if it's not much.”  She flapped and furled her wings, obviously uncomfortable. “Their Queen Cadance was flat-out unfriendly.”

“Bordering on hostile,” added Shining Armor.

I considered. “I don’t think the dimension is a lost cause. Are we all in agreement to return next week, perhaps better prepared for a chilly reception this time?”  I got three nods in reply. 

As Twilight picked up her printouts, Shining trotted past me. “I’ve got foal-sitting duty. I’ll see you at dinner, Mark, Penny, Twily.”

Penumbra narrowed her eyes. I said, “What’s bothering you? I don’t think it’s the doctor's appointment to check on our baby.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” After a longer pause, she said, “Something stinks to the Elysian Fields. I don’t know what it is yet.”  She turned to the doorway. “Corporal Soup Sandwich. You have royal protection detail until I return.”

“Yes, Captain!”  The unicorn saluted and trotted to my side as my third wife left for the medical wing of the castle.

On the way to the Royal Suite, I reviewed the events of the interdimensional excursion in my head. What could be causing such strain between the three alicorns? And why did the situation seem familiar in some way?

I nodded to Corporal Sandwich and the attending guards. The unicorn Private Bright Beam and changeling Private Pinarius saluted as I entered my herd’s chambers. As expected, it was empty. Everypony had other obligations this afternoon and I was home a good hour early, so neither Steady Flight nor Prim Daisy greeted me. I took off my vest and hung it in my walk-in closet… or more precisely, the small section of our herd’s voluminous side room that was reserved for my male attire. 

I decided not to freshen up and instead headed to the bedroom where I took off my crown. Before I could place it on my nightstand, I heard the doors to the suite open and Chrysalis sauntered into the chamber, closing the doors behind her with the green glow of her magic. My fourth wife’s smirk told me how she planned to use the time freed up by my unexpected early return.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red light on the nightstand. A quick look at the bedside table confirmed a particular jewel decoration glowed a steady red. I threw up an expanding shield and Chrysalis crashed into it, a dagger in her forehoof. I pressed a hoof into the spec ops band on my left pastern just as the changeling reversed her grip and shattered my shield with the heel of the dagger. My magic threw the nightstand directly into her, driving the assassin into the far wall. I shifted the nightstand to immobilize her foreleg and dagger while casting a new shield to pin the rest of her in place. What appeared to be my wife hissed at me once then chomped her teeth. I brought up a second shield to protect myself as the mare’s head exploded. I released the magic holding the assassin in place and her remains sagged to the floor with blood beginning to pool around her. The door slammed open and Corporal Soup Sandwich and the two other guards ran inside, only to stop short at the sight greeting them.

Before they could say a word, I said, “All of you, an attempt was made on my life and likely on everyone in our dimensional excursion party.”  I pointed to Soup Sandwich, “Twilight is in the excursion portal room,” then to Private Bright Beam “Shining Armor is in his chambers,” and then to Private Pinarius “Captain Penumbra is in the medical wing. Go!” The changeling flew down the corridor as Bright Beam teleported away. 

Corporal Sandwich hesitated then said, “Your safety is our primary concern. Lock the door and stay here please, Your Highness.”  He closed it and I faintly heard his teleport from the hallway. 

As I applied the residents-only lock to the door, I stopped pressing the spec ops band. I paced as I waited impatiently. If I was right, the rest of our party had already been attacked. One way or the other, the die had been cast and I had done all that I could. 

To my shock, the door opened and another Chrysalis entered. “Husband, why did you lock…”  Her voice trailed off when she saw the corpse of her doppelganger on the floor.

She turned to face me as I encased her body in an immobilizing field. I levitated the changeling into the room far enough to let me close the door. I saw surprise but not fear in her eyes.

I said, “Tell me something only the two of us would know.”

“Hmmm … Let me think.”  This Chrysalis looked up and to the side. “Let’s see… You whined like a schoolfoal during our first date in Luna’s grotto. Something about not having chitin resulting in bumps and bruises. No… that won’t work… I shared that knowledge with our herdmates.”  She was taking this situation very casually.

“Ah, yes!  We visited a mentally deprived version of myself in her house in the suburbs of Prince Baked Bean’s dimension. She thought wearing my gift of Rarity’s multicolored outfit might earn her that Pokie Poo’s undying loyalty.”  Her smile grew large. “Though I doubt the effect would be quite as strong without the headpiece, which I retained.”

I was 95% sure this was my Chrysalis. “Now tell me something I could not know.”

She smirked. “Nice try. I shall not tell you about my small acts of revenge for using that abhorrent nickname you insist on calling me.”  She looked down. “How… about… yes, that will do.”  Chrysalis stared directly into my eyes. “Not long after Grogar teleported me out of the Canterlot Castle dungeon, Tirek pulled me aside for a private chat. He told me a slot on the team of losers opened up when Sombra died, but the fool could have avoided that fate. The arrogant unicorn had stated his intention to abandon the old goat despite the ram being responsible for his resurrection. Tirek believed the unicorn’s pride had been stung from his defeat at the hoofs of a tiny foal. Sombra swore to conquer the Crystal Empire on his own.”

“That’s when Cozy Glow showed her prowess. She asked if that would be easier after Sombra personally destroyed the Elements of Harmony. When the gullible dolt asked if that meant the ponies or the jewels, she replied ‘Both.’  The pegasus mare was far more convincing than Grogar and he agreed to help with one final mission. Which was his last.”

I mulled that over. That sounded feasible on all levels – believable, even. A rapping at the sliding balcony door caught my attention. A frowning Penumbra lifted her wings in exasperation. I opened the sliding door and said, “Klutzy.”  

“Pegasus,” she replied before entering. She took in the scene before her and then nodded to our herdmate. “The second one was the charm?”  

“Yes, I just verified that. The first Chrysalis set off the jewel on my nightstand – the one Twilight Sparkle enchanted to glow when changeling magic was in use nearby.”  I dropped my shield and headed to the living room area. I hoped we would get more company soon. “You were detained?”

Penny closed the balcony door and then stood where she could watch both me and the door to our chambers. “Yes, I was. I didn’t recognize the nurse and saw she did not hold a hypodermic syringe correctly. I’m sure she felt my suspicion until the spec ops band warning removed all doubt. That was you?”  I nodded. 

“Their attacks must have been coordinated to happen simultaneously, or close to it. That means at least one was a changeling princess. I’m fairly certain mine was because she was an adept fighter. Was.”

Chrysalis grinned triumphantly. Oh, that’s right. She taught the Royal Guards how to subdue and kill changeling royalty, much to the displeasure of our allied hives. Regardless of their opinions, that training proved its value today. 

I heard pounding at the door to the Royal Suite. After I opened it with my magic, Shining Armor strode into the room on his rear hooves, wielding his gifted sword in a forehoof. He sported two thin cuts on his forelegs. He gave the corpse only a single glance while his sister jumped at the gory sight. He sheathed the blade into the scabbard at his hip and returned to all fours. “Come on, Twily.”  After she scooted past the pool of blood on the floor. Several guards filed in behind them with two focusing on the body.

“Twilight?” I asked. 

My co-ruler shook for a moment, and she took a deep breath. “I… I was still studying the printouts. I couldn’t determine the cause but found four separate power surges in quick succession right after Penumbra came through. She pointed at her left fetlock. When my band vibrated, the pieces fell into place: intruders shielded with maximum-power invisibility charms – the type that makes you blind and unable to perceive anything around you physically or magically. I blasted everything away from me with an expanding bubble shield which a Royal Guard quickly broke with nullstone. That gave me enough time to liquefy the floor and resolidify it, trapping their legs. It… she dropped her earth pony disguise revealing a red changeling princess who snarled at me before… before her head… her head exploded.”  

Shining put a foreleg around his sister to comfort her. I noticed that the cuts on his forelegs were completely healed. 

Chrysalis tilted her head. “Sergeant Sterling Shield, this is most concerning. Can you confirm Queen Carpacia did not send assassins to the castle?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. She would not have forsaken the oaths she, and by extension, every member of the Red Hive took to protect the Equestrian Empire. Still, I will verify this in person and account for all of our hive’s princesses.” He bowed and left the room.

Shining Armor said, “I sincerely doubt it was our dimension’s Carpacia who sent them. There would be no reason for her to target Captain Penumbra while she did not guard Prince Mark.”

Penny pointed to his forelegs. “I saw you were wounded.”

“Yes. I dismissed Tranquil Dreams from her foalsitting duties after getting to our suite. Cadance had taken Skyla out to the museum for the day, so it was only myself and Camellia who was sleeping in her room. When Tranquil Dreams returned, I was about to ask if she had forgotten something when the spec ops band went off. I got my shield up in time to deflect her first attack, but unlike alicorns, my magic needed time to recover after my shield shattered. My forelegs shielded me for the moment it took to summon my sword from the office. The distraction of the wall crashing down gave me time to grab the scabbard and draw my sword.”

Penumbra said, “Out of all of us, I hope you succeeded in just disabling your assassin so we could ask her questions.”  

Shining glared at my third wife. “That depends. Do you want to ask questions to her top half or bottom half?”

Chrysalis burst out laughing. She stopped and looked around the room when everyone stared at her. “Oh, come on!  That was hilarious!”  

I sighed. That officially quashed any lingering doubts I might have had. I’d recognize my Chrysalis’ sense of humor anywhere. “I think we all agree where the assassins came from?”

Penumbra waved a hoof. “The dimension we just visited. Specifically, the so-called Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

Twilight nodded. “The three thrones set far apart. No queen permitted to make any decision without the others. All of them flying instead of teleporting. The unrelenting tension and every pony soldier and servant divided into three ‘hives’ that were forbidden to communicate with each other.”

Chrysalis stated the now obvious. “Three changeling hives took over that Equestria. Then you came along and upset their precarious balance of power. One queen panicked when you promised to return, or perhaps they acted with the blessing of the other queens.”

Crushing Blow shouldered her way past the soldiers cleaning up the assassin’s remains. I said, “General, assemble the Rapid Response Team. Standard changeling countermeasures.”  She saluted and exited the door, barking orders.

Shining walked up to his sister. “Twily, would you teleport me to my suite so I can get my armor?  Then we can get yours.”  

A thought came to me. “Wait. What about Camellia?  Is she OK?”

“She slept through the whole thing. Five guards are stationed in my quarters while another went to get Cadance and Skyla.”  

I said, “Good. Penny will help me with my armor. I’ll meet you in the portal room.”

“One moment, my husband.”  I turned to see Chrysalis sashaying up to me. We shared a long kiss before she looked me in the eyes. “Return to me… and do not settle for any paltry imitations.”  

With that, she flicked her tail in my face and left the suite.





Ten minutes later, everyone finished gathering in the extradimensional portal chamber. Two squads of Royal Guards comprised of all tribes and a squad of red changelings. Also present were three juvenile dragon soldiers and ten griffon troops. Everyone wore emotion-suppressing charms, blue and red pastern identification bands, and shoulder-mounted lights that flashed a preset series of colors. No changeling would be able to pretend to be part of our strike force.

I stood in front of Shining, Twilight, and Penny and addressed the troops. “Everyone. Three changeling queens are masquerading as Celestia, Luna, and Cadance in that dimension. Any pony you see in Solar, Night, or Crystal Guard armor could be a pony or a changeling. Non-lethal force unless absolutely necessary. When everyone is through, stick together and press forward to the throne room. Delta Company will secure the area around our portal. We do not know the current situation in that realm’s Royal Gardens. Be prepared for anything. Are there any questions?”  I got nothing but determined looks in response.

I joined Twilight and Shining Armor directly in front of the inactive portal. Twilight nodded to Crisp Berry who manned the control station. The familiar silver liquid effect filled the portal. The yellow changeling scanned across the dials and then yelled, “Go!”

The three of us jumped through and fanned out, Penumbra right on my heels. It was our job to clear out and protect a large enough space in front of the portal to assemble all our soldiers. My responsibility was the area straight ahead toward the throne room. The sight in front of me almost made me stop in my tracks. In the air, pegasi from the three different factions fought each other with wing blades and spears. Occasionally, unicorn magic blasts from the ground aimed at the flying combatants. At the far edge of the garden, earth ponies wrestled and stabbed each other.

Seconds later, I heard General Crushing Blow yell, “All present! Go!”  

I charged forward, maintaining my shield and shoving combatants out of the way as needed. I heard the thunder of hooves and flap of wings behind me. Not knowing the magic wards on the entrances, I blasted apart four of the stained-glass windows to allow rapid ingress. The throne room was just as chaotic as I expected it to be. Injured and unmoving ponies surrounded knots of soldiers protecting Queens Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. All three rulers started yelling promises and requests for aid our way. 

That wasn’t our plan. After counting ten seconds for our forces to complete their entry, I yelled in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Now!”

As one, a wave of nullstone horn suppressor bands flew forward, quickly neutralizing every alicorn and unicorn horn among our opponents. Some earth ponies, Pegasi, and thestrals burst into flame to become changelings, much to the shock of the ponies fighting alongside them. Their horns were likewise wrapped in the nullstone bands. Our soldiers split into three groups, shoving ponies and changelings aside until each queen lay on the ground in manacles and with a sword at their throat. Shining Armor ordered the native forces to disarm, and they quickly complied. 

Seeing that accomplished, I nodded to Twilight. The purple alicorn flew out the window and straight up. I saw a bright lavender glow fill the sky visible outside the broken windows. My co-ruler’s magically amplified voice reverberated even inside the room. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Triarch of Equestria and Hive-Mother of the Crystal Hive!  My allies and I have captured your queens!  All fighting will cease NOW!”  

The noise of battle stopped outside. The only sounds were the moans of injured soldiers and the panting of those who weren’t. Perhaps a half-minute later the glow stopped, and Twilight flew back into the throne room, alighting next to me. “They’ve…” She cleared her throat. “Sorry. They’ve stopped.”

Shining Armor motioned to our soldiers. Two earth ponies hauled each queen to the floor in front of us. Whatever they were trying to say was suppressed by the silence spell put on all three by a unicorn day guard that accompanied the earth ponies. 

Time for me to play the bad cop. “Shut up!”  I roared. After they did so, I nodded to the unicorn and the aura surrounding their mouths winked out. “All three of you. Drop your disguises.”  

Queen Luna said, “Without our magic—”  

I interrupted her. “Transforming back to your true form is innate magic that can’t be suppressed. Do so now.”

When they did, I faced copies of Queens Carpacia, Sanguine Dreams, and Polistae. I heard this dimension’s ponies gasp and the few changelings among them hiss. They weren’t my concern right now. “Good. Each of you has soldiers from your hive here in this chamber. Order them to retrieve the three alicorns you were impersonating.” 

Polistae snarled. “No!  Just kill me. You would starve my hive to extinction. I won’t let you take away the only leverage I have.”

I leaned down to look her in the eyes. “It’s either that or I lead our forces to conquer your hive in the White Tail Woods.”  Her eyes widened at that. It seemed the hive location was the same in both dimensions… possibly the layout as well.

Twilight walked next to me. Now she could play her role as the good cop. “As Triarch of Equestria and Hive-Mother of the Crystal Hive, I give you my word your hive will not starve. But you will need to cooperate with us.”

I said, “As Triarch of Equestria and leader of the Canterlot Hive, I give you my word as well.”

The three changeling queens shared looks. With everyone on our team wearing emotion-suppressing amulets, they would have to rely on their better judgment. 

“Very well,” they said at the same time.





“You took everything from my ponies like the parasites you are!  Sucking the happiness out of everypony!”

“You sent your soldiers to the farthest reaches of Equestria!  Hunting down anypony and anything out of the ordinary!”

“You turned Canterlot into a military encampment!  Even the janitors have to wear uniforms!”

“And what of it?  For the first time in centuries, the armed forces of Equestria are not the laughingstock of Equus!”

“At what cost?  When was the last time you saw a pony smile?  Every citizen is terrified of their queens and their police state that roots out any dissent!”

“The Storm King didn’t care when he conquered Equestria… oh, wait… he failed because our forces destroyed his airships and forced him to retreat into the Everfree!”

I tilted my head to the side and considered. Three emaciated alicorns stood on one side of the table and three manacled changeling queens on the other. All wore two nullstone horn suppression bands. A shield stretched down the center of the conference room table to ensure the practically warring parties stayed apart. To prevent rescue attempts from either side, Twilight and I moved everyone to the Royal Lounge in our dimension’s Canterlot Castle and shut down the portal. 

To my left, Twilight kept trying to get in a word edgewise but came up short every time as the royalty from both sides yelled over each other. 

To my right, my lead wife elbowed me in the side. “Trixie believes these juvenile tantrums have gone on long enough. They have already wasted an hour of Trixie’s valuable time.”

I gave her a quick grin. “They had to get it out of their system.”

She searched my eyes. “As you intended, it seems. Now, however, it is time to proceed.”  

I waved Penumbra closer and whispered in her ear. When I finished, she stared at me… hungrily?  Penny then gave me her sharpest salute and left the room. 

Twilight raised an eyebrow but said nothing. I just smiled in return. 

Fifteen minutes later, Penumbra led six mares into the room. Three stood on each side, behind our guests who stopped arguing to look over the new arrivals. Each wore full enchanted armor and necklaces with emotion-suppressing charms. 

I stood up. “Ah, I’m glad you could make it, ladies. You see, the mares in front of you are showing the Triarchs that they cannot exist in Harmony, which is what their subjects in their realms need more than they need them.”  I turned to my left. Princess Flurry Heart, Princess Nyx, Princess Skyla. Are you three prepared to duel the alicorn in front of you to rule their Equestria according to the precepts of the Alicorn Challenge?” Let these triarchs speculate what that meant in our dimension.

“We are,” chorused Skyla and Flurry Heart. Nyx just smiled and took off her glasses, revealing her slit pupils. 

I turned to the right to face the similarly armored Red, Green, and Crimson Hive princesses. “Princess Tarsalia of the Red Hive, Princess Socaria of the White Tail Woods Hive, Princess Morning Star of the Hollow Shades Hive. Are you prepared to challenge the queens in front of you to take over their hives?”  

“I’m ready right now,” said Princess Morning Star with a wicked smile. 

“You can’t do this!” said Queen Polistae. “We are your prisoners and under your protection.”

Queen Luna touched her suppression bands with a hoof. “She’s right!  In our current state and our magic suppressed, we would stand no chance!”

I said, “Oh, are you all in agreement?  For once?  For the first time?”  I’m sure they caught my sarcastic tone. “I don’t care about your squabbles, your titles, or your pride. All I care about are the citizens in your dimension. I’ve already wasted an hour of my time. I’m giving you that long to come to some agreement or I’ll negotiate with your successors.”

I turned away from the table and followed Penumbra toward the exit. As I passed a joyful Twilight Sparkle, she clopped her hooves together. “Well, then. Let’s get started!  Would anyone or anyling be opposed to an order of amnesty covering all events leading up to today?”

After a guard closed the door behind me, Penny motioned with her head, and I followed her up the hall. Soon, she entered the first guest quarters we reached. Whisk Broom and Lace Doily looked up from where they were tucking sheets into the bed. 

Penny barked out, “Maids leave!”  The two mares hastened to do so, closing the door behind them.

My bodyguard and third wife attacked me with a kiss, somehow shrugging off parts of her armor as she did so. Getting the hint, I likewise disrobed. Seconds later, I found myself on the bed with my third wife grinning down at me. “Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”

I smiled. “I’m starting to get the hint. Mind telling me why?”

She lay down until we practically touched muzzles. “My stallion just dominated three queens and three alicorns. I believe your term for it is ‘made them all my bitch.’  If I wasn’t already pregnant that might have made me ovulate on the spot. I know exactly how we are going to spend the next hour.”





An hour later – give or take – I slipped back into my vest. “Dang it, one of the buttons got torn off.”  I looked up. “And your armor straps aren’t buckled evenly.”

Penny just showed me all of her fangs. I got the hint. “You want them to know.” 

She smiled wider and patted my head. “Your time as Marklestia and now Princess Mark Wells is helping you understand mares… even when you look like this.”  

All I could do was sigh. She might be right. On second thought, I could do more than just sigh about it. 

A few minutes of passionate kissing later, I was finally ready.

After the short walk, Penumbra preceded me into the conference room. If the state of our clothing didn’t clue in our guests, our smell likely would in short order. 

My lead mare showed no surprise whatsoever. “Trixie has outstanding news, Hallmark Spells!  Our visiting alicorns and hive queens just signed a Great and Powerful treaty to assist one another!”

“That’s splendid,” I said as I took my seat and then turned to my co-ruler. “Twilight, why don’t you tell me all about it.”

The purple mare beamed as she began what I was sure would be a long explanation that I only partially listened to. Looking out over the table, every changeling queen and malnourished alicorn glared alternately at me and my bodyguard. I smiled. Penny would be in a chipper mood for weeks, and I wouldn’t even need to rework the Castle Gardens!





After our guards escorted our visitors to their guest rooms, our Princess Cadance entered with Camellia on her back. She rushed over to Shining Armor, and they embraced. Their daughter laughed and ran over her parents’ heads. After jumping onto her father’s back, the unicorn foal wrestled with the flap to one of his saddlebags.

A half-minute later, Cadance pulled back and her eyelid twitched. “They wouldn’t let us in until you finished. I only heard a few details about what happened.” 

My Leadmare said, “Trixie is in the same state. Shining Armor. Landmark Clamshells. Inform us of the day’s events, beginning with your most recent excursion. Dinner will be brought here.”

“Not until we get out of these noisy things.”  Nyx struggled to find the buckles of her oriental-style armor doubtless borrowed from our dimension’s Luna. “Skyla, give me a hoof, please.”  

Across from her, Princess Morning Star sat down in the seat previously occupied by Queen Sanguine Dreams. “So, no fight to the death to gain control of a hive?  Disappointing.” 

I smiled at her. “Sorry, Your Highness. It just wouldn’t be sporting.”





When the second course arrived, the four of us had finished retelling our version of events from the moment we entered the changeling tripartite dimension. By the time the dessert plates were taken away, we had finished describing the world that took friendship… in a different direction. Sure enough, Twilight was blushing furiously.

While servants brought out wine and spirits, Shining and Twilight related all they knew about the sword. Silently, I set my glass of late-pressing ice wine back on the table and left the chocolate truffles untouched. I knew I was spoiled but couldn’t help but make unfavorable comparisons to what we had been served so recently. 

Cadance lit her horn as she scanned the sword her husband placed in her hooves. “I just… I mean I’ve examined every magical artifact in the Royal Vaults and couldn’t tell you any more about this unique and powerful artifact than what Twilight already divined. What did Queen Luna say about the sword that wasn’t flirtations aimed at my husband?”

Shining Armor rubbed the back of his neck with a forehoof. “It was the final weapon created by Steadfast the Enchanter, whom neither of us have heard of in this dimension or any other.”

Twilight said, “All of the soldiers and servants were in awe of the sword. They were shocked that Luna gave it to Shining… but in a happy way.”

I thought back. “Luna also said something about it forever helping Shining Armor protect the Crystal Empire and Princess Cadance.”  

Twilight and her sister-in-law shared an intense look and then the purple mare walked in front of her brother. “BBBFF, please hold out your forelegs.” The white unicorn stallion did as she asked, and Twilight’s magic covered them in a wide lavender beam. Slowly, a pattern of blotches and streaks of different colors covered his white coat where her magic touched. 

Curious, Trixie and I moved closer. My wife asked, “What, precisely, are we looking at, Miss Sparkle?”

Twilight said, “The cells in our body are constantly aging, dying off, and being replaced in a nearly random manner. Each generation glows a different color, and you can see there is a mix of colors everywhere. Wounds are healed by a different, younger type of cell that becomes weaker as we age. If you know what you’re looking for, Amber Waves’ Youth Coloration spell reveals all this. Healed wounds overwrite the background noise, such as right here.” She pointed to an oval patch of green on her brother’s right foreleg.

Shining nodded. “That’s very interesting. I scraped my skin there during a spar maybe three months ago. Nurse Relaxing Hooves healed it with her magic.”

I noticed what I wasn’t seeing. “Shining, where are the cuts you got from the assassin?” 

My friend craned his neck. “They’re… not there?”  He looked up. “Twily, does the sword provide improved healing magic?”

“No, Shining,” said his sister as her glowing horn winked out. “All healing magic works the same way, leaving patches of identically aged cells behind. The only exception is for alicorns who have reached full maturity, like Celestia and Luna. Their cells heal back to their original state and age.”

The color faded from his forelegs and Shining took the sword back in his magic and slid it into the scabbard attached to his saddlebags. “But what does that mean?”

Cadance put a hoof on his withers. “It means that Queen Luna was talking literally. When you wear that sword, you stop aging.”

Everyone around me gasped, and I knew I did. Shining Armor’s mouth dropped open and his eyes shimmered. He pulled his wife into his grasp and started weeping. Little Carmelia joined in the hug as best she could. After a minute, Shining whispered, “I never have to leave you.”  

This time it was not just the stallion who shed a few tears. I blame this entirely on my time spent as Princess Mark Wells. 

Everyone busied themselves with small talk as we mutually agreed to let the couple have some private time… as much as that was possible in a room full of ponies and changelings.

When Shining and Cadance joined us again, they got congratulatory hugs from everyone, even the changeling princesses. Trixie was the last to do so. “Now then, Prince Armor. When are you going to take care of your obligation?”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“You are alive now only because of the generous gift provided by Queen Luna. In addition, you may actually succeed at providing your wife with as many foals as Dark Parallels shall provide me over the centuries. Do you not think this warrants a proper ‘Thank you’?” 

Cadance lifted her head. “Princess Trixie is right, dear. You need to express the depths of your sincere appreciation.”

Shining’s eyes went wide. “Cady!  You don’t mean…”

The pink mare held up a hoof while closing her eyes. “I only mean that you owe this mare a debt of gratitude. How you choose to express it is entirely up to you, so long as it is heartfelt.” My unicorn friend paused at that, looking thoughtful.

I caught my co-ruler’s eye. “Twilight, did you get the permanent mirror portals set up for the Party Realm?” 

She gave me a mock glare… or was it a real one? “Yes, I did.” She draped a wing over her brother. “Come on, BBBFF. If I know my Lunas, this one will still be awake. You can figure out what to say on the way there.”  

Shining nodded and the siblings left for the Mirror Portal Room with Penny and I following behind.

We transitioned into the Castle Spa of all places. Two guards on duty quickly donned their armor and escorted us to the Throne Room. True to Twilight’s prediction, Queen Luna smiled down at us from the throne. 
The Sergeant at Arms bellowed, “Announcing His Highness Shining Armor!”

My friend took a deep breath and then approached the throne while looking down. He stopped and bowed. Queen Luna’s eyes sparkled but she said nothing, waiting for the unicorn stallion to speak. 

Shining stopped fidgeting with the hilt of the final sword of Steadfast the Enchanter and opened his mouth to address the diarch, only to deflate and wave for Luna to join him on the marble tiles before the dais. 

With considerable grace, the dark blue alicorn walked down the steps until she stood directly in front of my friend. After a few seconds, Luna breathed in and opened her mouth to speak. She was interrupted by Shining Armor sweeping her off her hooves and snogging her thoroughly. 

I had to practically yell in Twilight’s ear to be heard over the whoops and hollers of all the citizens and guards in attendance. “I think that qualifies as sincere appreciation!”  The purple mare rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smirk.

After an extended period of making out, Shining returned Luna to her hooves and whispered in her ear. He turned and walked away, leaving the mare quivering in joy with a huge smile across her lips. Any doubt of what my friend had told her was wiped away when Luna started high-hoofing anyone and everyone in the chamber. 

As Shining Armor strode back toward the portal home, I came up to his side. “Let me know if you want any tips on herd management.”

He said, “Hold that thought, Mark,” without looking my way. 

Penumbra came up to my other side, grinning. “You know he’ll never ask you to stop holding that thought, don’t you?”

I shook my head. It wasn’t just Penny who got in the last word this time.


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