M0re Than Gam3rs
Level 1
Gamer Luna
“Sis! Where are you?! I know you took them!” Luna called out down the royal hall.
There was no answer and Luna was growing irritated with her prankster of a sister. Luna had just came back from her daunting and simply boring duties as a princess. Dealing with couriers and aristocrats everyday that constantly complained about politics and such was already nerve testing in itself and she really was not in the mood for Celestia’s games. Despite this, at least she could look forward to her night’s of endless gaming and ‘The Royal Pwnage Of Noobs’ as she called it sometimes.
What made it even better though?
Today was Saturday and she would be raising her night very soon, which meant her friend and fellow gamer, Derpy Hooves, was coming to the castle for the night.
How did this come about?
During Nightmare Night, when Twilight was showing her around Ponyville and teaching the norms of everyday society, Princess Luna had taken notice of the crossed-eye mare bobbing for apples. She couldn’t help but talk to the mare and find out more about her and found her pretty freakin’ awesome. She had a love for games just as she did and Luna simply couldn’t let an opportunity like that pass by. Thus, began the Royal Pwnage of Noobs Nights.
Though, it’s very hard to have such a night without her Xbox 360 controllers that she knew she had left on their charging port this morning before attending to her duties. Of course, Princess Celestia would be the only pony in the entire castle that dared take her sacred controllers; any other pony knew the wrath they would incur if they dared laid a hoof on them.
“Tia! Where are you?! I want my controllers back and I know you took them!”
Luna searched up and down the hall, checking her sister’s chambers, searching the grand hall, and even had went outside to the gardens. Despite her efforts, Celestia was nowhere to be found. There was no way in Tartarus that Luna was going to go out and get two new controllers just because her sister hid them from her. Now granted, this hadn’t been the first time Celestia has done this and usually Luna would find them just sitting in her sister’s chambers for whatever reason. Never could she figure why she took them but today was not the day for her sister to be testing her.
The alicorn thought to herself. She reviewed the possible places that her sister tended to spend most of her time. She had already checked her room so that was already ruled out instantly.
Could she still be busy? No... that can’t be. She would be in the grand hall then.
This was a life or death moment for the alicorn. If she didn’t have her controllers, her and Derpy’s night of gaming would be ruined. Her computer was in the shop being fixed and such after Derpy somehow blew it up by playing Guild Wars, which Luna believed was the reason the machine exploded. Such poor games had no place on her computer and such mediocrity probably caused her computer to have such a fiery reaction... but that was just her belief... and Luna didn’t own a PS3, so choices were very limited.
Then a horrible thought occurred to her. If they couldn’t get their game on, no doubt Celestia would take the opportunity to make them feel... uncomfortable. Now her sister was the Ruler of Equestria, there was no arguing that, and with such a title Celestia was free to do whatever she wanted to any pony she chose... anything she wanted. Anypony who knew Celestia knew that she was very... flirtatious to say the least; sometimes even beyond that... most of the time beyond that.
Luna couldn’t let that happen. So far she had been able to avoid Celestia when Derpy was over, afraid that her fellow gamer would be scared away from her sister’s scandalous and rather blunt acts. Luna resolved she would not let that happen... no matter the cost.
But how was she going to find her sister when she really had no clue where she could be? She pondered what she could possibly do... and then it came to her.
Luna quickly made her way to Celestia’s chamber and opened the two golden doors. She passed the bed that was covered in silk sheets with a giant bottle of hard cider sitting on the nightstand beside it. If Celestia was going to take her valued items, the very tools needed to satiate her gaming lust, then she would simply take something of value to Celestia. Luna’s horn lit up and opened the small drawer of her sisters nightstand and pulled out a rectangular case.
Luna grimaced as she glanced over the cover that read “The Naughty Student.” She didn’t know how in Equestria her sister enjoyed these kinds of movies. She didn’t know how they could be even called movies in the first place. Regardless, she knew Celestia treasured her stash of sinful flicks and would know when one went missing.
She began to make her way out of the room. She poked her head outside the hall, looking up and down the hall making sure the coast was clear. The last thing she needed was some pony or guard seeing her with such a dirty movie in her mouth and have them thinking she was just the same as her sister.
Clear.
Like some type of ninja, she traversed the hall with a blinding quickness and silence. She had to be or risk being caught by her or Celestia’s guards... or worse... Celestia herself. No doubt if her sister caught her with this right now she wouldn’t see it as a way of trying to get her controllers back, but would think that she actually wanted to watch it. Celestia would never let her live that down.
Princess Luna made her way out to the gardens and looked over yonder to her tower that stood above Canterlot. She spread her wings and quickly flew over to it, just now wanting to get to her room. She landed gracefully on the stone platform and opened her door to her chamber, finally in her safehaven.
There were a multitude of posters adorning her walls. Ones ranging from Gurren Lagann to Call of Duty, along with a variety of movie posters like The Coltfather. Her bed stood caddy corner with linens that were made by Derpy for her past birthday. They were covered in pictures of muffins and even had the scent of blueberry’s with it. She absolutely adored them and they were very comfortable on top of that. On the side of her room against a wall stood a tower of electronics; her ‘Tower of Power.’ An 85’’ inch HD T.V. stood triumphantly in the center, sandwiched between two towers that held speakers and electronic gaming accessories and models. Luna was not one to short-change herself when it came to gaming and movies. She wanted the full experience, and by her sister’s name, that’s what she got. This was her prized jewel; the creme de la creme of everything that was awesome and epic.
Luna looked outside of her window out into the sky. She still had a few hours before she had to raise the night and Derpy’s arrival. Celestia would soon find out that one of her DVD’s went missing and for sure come to see her about it, and hopefully give up her controllers in exchange for-
“Hi little sis!”
Luna yelped and fell to the floor. She looked up at her and saw Celestia standing over her with a smile.
“How are you doing Luna? I haven’t seen your flank all day,” Celestia said, her smile now turning into one of satisfaction. Luna disregarded it, still a bit startled.
“Tia! How the hay did you get in here? I been looking for you all over the castle!”
Celestia chuckled.
“ You left the door unlocked again and I was a bit busy Luna. Today was initiation day for the incoming guards so I had to give them their proper initiation of course. What kind of ruler would I be if I didn’t perform my duties?”
Her stomach turned. Luna knew full well what initiation was and she could only help but feel terrible for those poor recruits. She got up from the floor and asked the question she needed answered from the beginning.
“It seems I forgot about that but I was looking for you because my 360 controllers are missing.”
Celestia cocked her brow.
“Well where did you put them?” she asked.
Luna frowned. This prank of hers had gone long enough. She had to prepare for tonight and Celestia was holding her up.
“Don’t play me dumb Tia. You’re the only one that takes my controllers around here,” Luna accused.
Celestia now looked confused.
“Luna, the only thing I’ve taken is some stallion’s virginity today,” she said with almost a proud tone in her voice.
Oh dear... I didn’t need to know that.
“I... uh...” Luna felt her cheeks begin to heat up in embarrassment of hearing such a blunt statement. She quickly gathered herself. “Then where are they? I left this morning on their charging port and now their gone.”
Celestia seemed to ponder Luna’s inquiry, then suddenly lit up.
“Oh! I know where they are, almost forgot to tell you. Your friend Derpy was here at the castle this morning and took them. I didn’t ask why, kind of just assumed you already knew about it.”
“Wha? She never told me that she would be here this morning...” Luna trailed off. Celestia was many things, but she wasn’t a liar. Why wouldn’t Derpy tell her such information? Never had she done this before, and why didn’t she at least say hi or something?
“Isn’t tonight where you two play your video games and stuff?” Celestia asked.
“Yes and that’s why I was looking for my controllers so I could prepare for tonight... but I guess if she has them...”
“Oh don’t worry Luna, I’m sure she has a good reason.”
There was a short pause between them. One wondering about her friend and one pondering a question she was dying to ask. Celestia broke the silence.
“So, I been meaning to ask this for a while but with all the mares and stallions I attend to I never get the time.”
Luna sighed. She loved her sister dearly, despite her - unique traits- but she just really wanted her to leave now. She didn't want to risk hearing stories of her sexual escapades. Her mind was still wanting to know why Derpy hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t really a big deal or anything since it was Derpy, but why wouldn’t her gaming pal at least mention anything to her? Luna let the thought sit in her brain and brought her attention back to her sister.
“Go ahead and ask,” she said, waving her hoof nonchalantly in the air, knowing she was going to regret this somehow.
A grin spread across the white alicorn's face.
“So are you and Derpy bucking each other or what? You two spend so much time with each other I would think you-”
Immediately Luna interrupted her.
“What?! No! We’re not doing that! That’s gross Tia! We’re just friends!”
Celestia wailed in laughter.
“What’s the matter Luna? You seem so defensive about it.”
Luna’s cheeks turned a tinge of red. She should have saw this coming. Anytime Celestia saw her with Derpy or even any other friend for that matter, she would always have to come up with something dirty about it.
“You know I don’t like hearing that stuff sis. Besides, unlike you, I’m saving myself for that special somepony one day.”
Celestia’s laughter waned down as she rolled her eyes at Luna.
“Oh don’t start with me on that again Luna. My duty is to protect and serve my subjects. I am simply doing a whole lot more serving is all, and they don’t seem to have a problem with it by the time I’m done." Celestia's face came very close to Luna's now. " I could show you if you want.” A sultry grin came across her face and Luna choked, not able to say a word through her disbelief.
Celestia took notice of how frozen Luna was and backed her face away, chuckling to herself.
“I’m just kidding Luna. I wouldn’t do my own sister... though you are growing to be one attractive mare. Maybe one day you might have a plot as good looking as mine.”
Luna’s face flared in extreme nervousness and anxiety.
Why does she do this to me?
“Well I better get going. I have some letters to read from Twilight so I better answer those before she loses her mind again... hopefully she sent pictures this time like I asked.”
Oh by Starwirls Beard, please leave...
“Oh, and I’ll take my DVD back.”
Luna had completely forgotten about that. She was too wrapped up in the moment that she failed to realize she still had Celestia’s questionable movie. She picked it off the ground with her magic and gave it to Celestia.
“You know Luna, if you just wanted to watch one of these you could’ve just asked.”
Luna deadpanned inside, still horribly flustered.
“That’s not why I had- nevermind.”
There was no point in explaining. Celestia would somehow turn it against her and make some type of sexual advancement or joke out of her explanation.
“Well, I’ll see you later Luna. I hope you and your friend have a real good time,” the alicorn said with a smirk.
“Haha, funny Tia. I’ll see you later,” Luna replied sarcastically.
With that and a bright flash of light, Celestia was gone and Luna relaxed herself. Celestia was her sister, and she wouldn’t have it any other way, but sometimes she was just a bit too much for her at times.
That was one of those times.
So the case of the missing controllers was solved but now it only left one question in her head. Why did Derpy Hooves take them?
I’ll guess I’ll ask her when she gets here.
That’s all she could do for now, but at least they were in good hooves, so that was comforting in a way than being in Celestia’s. She could only imagine what devious purposes her sister would use her precious gaming tools for... she shook her head as thoughts came into her head about what Celestia could do to them.
Nope! Not thinking about that! I have a night to get ready for.
Indeed she did.
Luna unhooked her dark regalia and removed her black crown, putting them in their respective places. She summoned her headset, custom made black steel with her cutie mark present on it.
She was done being Princess Luna for now.
Tonight was her night with her friend.
Tonight was the night that the poor unfortunate souls online would cry and bow before her onslaught of pure pwnage.
Tonight, she was Gamer Luna.
I will favorite this, and tomorrow I WILL read it, but I can't afford to die of sleep loss before reading more ponies, so, first I will rest, then on to story!
Oh, and first.
I like this it's funny and cute and smexy
Auto-favorite and upvote. Don't ask questions, and take my moustatches.
Princess Molestia approve
I have to say, I had to laugh at your portrayal of our dear Princess Molestia. Her dialogue and brazen behaviour was spot on, just as hilarious as the actual tumblr.
I loved the description of Luna's gaming rig. I laughed heartily at the mention of her screen's size. I wonder, what's the resolution on that bastard? We may never know... within the next couple of years, at least.
The whole part of "missing controllers" was an excellent way to kick off the story. Nothing like a mystery to get the ball rolling, and my, did that ball get rolling! I love how you described Luna's flitting about the castle, and most especially her theft of Celestia's near and dear porn flicks. I was kind of sad to see that it only got the usual Molestia joke rather that the potentially more mortifying Derpy Discovery, but ah well, let's see how this develops.
I’m just kidding Luna. I wouldn’t do my own sister... though you are growing to be one attractive mare. Maybe one day you might have a plot as good looking as mine. I loved how she said that XD
1192606
Dat face explains it all.
1192773
Yes, most tame... let's change that!
Is this the Ask Princess Molestia Tumblr universe?
1192805
No, to be honest, I never liked her like that. I hate when people display her as a complete and utter ditz with no clue what she's doing.
1192808
Yes, it's in the description above.
poor stallion he never had a chance
1193001
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/133/f/2/princess_molestia_seal_of_approval_by_pablo09042-d4zoerv.png
I like this story and you shall recieve a like and a follow but on a personal note, I dont like how you did Celestia in this story, apart from that great so far.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
1193125
If I may ask, what about her character you take displeasure with my good sir/madame?
1193156 Well I thought the Mr. would give it away, basically I like the prank side (that's also hinted in the show) but I don't like the sexual predator side, it doesn't her, the only time its ever really work is in the moslestia story, you see you have to look at at this perspective, she is 1000 years old, it doesn't matter if she middle age or or old or still young for her life span she wouldn't have gotten every single sexual inhibition out of her system at this point, personally I would never want to live that long and she's a kind, motherly and michevous character who also might be keeping a secret or two.
Thats always how I've written her but its your story of course, I hope I wasn't to harsh when writing this dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png , anyway thats just my opinoin, were all entitled to it, honestly though did either of the two people who disliked your story comment why? I have a story I'm writing that has 25 likes but 6 dislikes and no one who disliked it said why, how the fuck I'm I going to get better if they dont say why?
Anyway I'm rambling so I'll say I look forward to the next chapter.
-Mr. Carnage
1193203
I have seen many Mr in names but then later to realize they were no Mr at all, so just trying to cover my ass on that part. Anyways, you weren't harsh or none the sort, I actually appreciate people's thoughts and opinions as long as they have a reason, not just trying to rage. Now for Celestia's character, this story takes place in the world of the tumblr Ask Princess Molestia and Gamer Luna, so this is why she is the way she is. So I understand where your coming from with her character and any other story I would agree with you, but in this one she is a going to be kind of creepy but it's pretty tame compared to the tumblr.
Now for the dislikes... I wish they would tell me so I can learn but yet I somehow feel it was disliked for the sole reason that Princess Celestia is based off of Princess Molestia, and didn't really look at the content of the chapter as a whole... oh well what can you do?
1193227 Okay now it makes sense, I think I get dislikes for a few grammar problems and the characters name.
A story based off Princess Molestia tumblr? That fact made me want to read this much, much more. It has a great start, and I'll certainly be tracking this!
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/13/dowantscoot_display.gif
Celestia! Stop taking your sister's things, it's not nice.
~ Timid
Dayum Cely, you get some!
~ Scare
Keep up the good work. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
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1192606 Here's my face. i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/191/809/me_gusta_mucho_by_megustamuchoplz-d416uqk.png?1319690633
Oh, Gamer Luna. You KNOW PS3 is obviously superior to XBox 360.
Oh well. I'll tag along.
Here's how Derpy and Luna's evening goes!
Having paged through every Ask Princess Molestia post from the beginning, I can genuinely say I was waiting for this fic. Keep typing!
Moar, plz?!?
As I Read That...I Just Remembered A Scene From Inside the Princesses' Royal Chambers by BronifiedMind
Well after having this in my "Read Later" pile for quite awhile, I'm finally getting around to reading it, and I have to say, I'm not disappointed in the slightest. You rarely see a story that has Derpy and Luna interacting with each other, and when you throw gaming into the mix... well it just makes it 20% more awesome. keep it up, and I'm going to go read chapter 2 now.
Btw I'm "thumbs-up" no. 100
Tonight, she was Gamer Luna.
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH
Sweeeeeet~ That Celestia, she's such a... "pillina". ...yeah, I can't translate "pillina", so buck it
To the next leveeeeeeel~!
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Da hell is this!?!?
Shut up and take my Xbox 720
download.gamezone.com/uploads/image/data/873896/xbox720_1.jpg
Oh, and the controller
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AND ALL OF THE AWESOME!!!!
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>>PerroHambre
.....You had me at "The Royal Pwnage of Noobs". You've got yourself a reader.
mmmmmmm initiation........
Are celestia's sexual conquests a reference to something, or is it just a quincidence? Because I'm pretty sure I saw an "if her majesty wishes" reference in there.
Personally I enjoy JJ's Princess Molestia, and she was spot-on here (still don't understand why this is the ONLY official emote for Celestia, but it fits at times like these), so good job on that! Oh, and Luna was cute, too.
Will have to read this!
Luna grimaced as she glanced over the cover that read “The Naughty Student.”
Dammit, I was drinking water... Now it's EVERYWHERE.
1208800
This episode is were I drew the line for the Big Bang Theory. Stereotypes is one thing but that is completly unrealistic.
DERPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You now have yourself a verey loyal reader and fan my freidn and you have the Goddess of the Moon and my favorite Princess, oh yes...I'm going to enjoy this
AHAHAHAHAHAHHA Molestia HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tumblr Heheheheh Fanfic gaming and stuff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Laughter1
I love gamer Luna! I saw the sex tag and read right away. I also think Luna needs a PS3 and a Wii U, for casual nights, lazy nights, and Mario nights.
dtlux1
Woo, Guild Wars!
Why you gotta hate on Guild Wars...
After noticing I had 42 read laters, I decided to stop sleeping for a while. I'm glad I decided to read this as one of the firsts, because the later nights may not be so enjoyable after not sleeping.
By the way, if they play Modern Warfare :
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Never could find any reason to ever use that one.
LOL! Molestia fanfic^^ didnt know those were around^^ Good thing its about Luna though^^ I think this way it'll be much more fun to read^^ One question though... What does Luna have against Guild Wars? I like that game
1555603 Xbox 720, not even Stephen Hawkings understands it.
1599383 uuugh, it's ALL OVER ME! images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120229010222/fallout/images/e/e6/If_you_know_what_I_mean..png
Not bad, but there are a few glitchies (sorry if any of these have been mentioned before)
and
both lack a 'have', which is rather essential to the word 'been'.
I don't think repeating 'initiation' was wholly necessary. Also, commas would be nice.
Should be 'when', no 'where'.
"She still wanted to know why Derpy hadn't said anything." sounds a bit better, to me at least.
"which was more comforting than them being in Celestia's." or some variation. I can't quite follow the current sentence without doing a double-take.
Just a few I noticed. Ignore or use as you see fit...
There were a lot of mistakes in this, but you did say you were drunk when you wrote it. Lol. I love Ask Princess Molestia, and this seems very entertaining. Lol.