Bad Dreams
You're not sure where you are. The air is dense and fog as dark as night surrounds you. It seemed to create a glossy blanket, preventing you from gazing more than a few feet. Shouting for help has proved fruitless as nopony has responded to your attempts for over an hour. Still, you continue to wander the onyx landscape, determined to find your way home.
You then come upon a town, a whimsical city that lay in ruins. With buildings made of steel and glass stretching far beyond even the tallest towers of Canterlot. Large streets made of what appears to be solid stone instead of brick and cobble. Though you're sure you have never been to this place your hooves turn without command as if they walked the path before.
Soon you approach the only place that looks anything like what is in Canterlot. A zoo. You thought to yourself as you're drawn through its portal. Much like the rest of the refuse that was once a city, there is little not in a state of decay. Thick glass that lined the enclosures were either broken or severely cracked. You see something that makes you shiver, the lion enclosure was empty, it's… it's probably nothing. The city has obviously been abandoned for years. It can't still be around here… Can it?
That's when you hear it. A bone shivering roar that pierced the fog like a needle through cloth. Instincts took over as you ran to the nearest shelter. Bolting through the doors of an old brick building you took cover behind one of the many oversized counters. As you hid you began to hear the sound of faint whispering. Following the sound you reach a stone stairwell that seemed to reach into the bowels of Equis. The whispering still at the same level of volume as before.
Looking for a source of light, you found nothing. Just an engraving, Abandon all hope ye who enter here? Maybe I should turn back? Before you could contemplate further a call for help rang from the bowels of the subterranean level. Taken aback you steel your resolve and plunge into the darkness eager to help whatever lost soul is trapped below.
Reaching the last step you see a light in the far corner of the underground room along with what appeared to be the steel bars of a dungeon. With the source of the whispering within sight you cross the distance. In the cell stood a single dark figure still whispering its incoherent musings.
Keeping a safe distance from the bars you clear your thoughts and speak. "H-hello? Are you okay?" You ask to receive no response. Stepping closer you ask again. "Excuse me, are you okay?"
This time the figure responds, "please help me." Stepping closer to the bars yet again you ask the creature what is wrong. This was your mistake, once within distance the creature flings against the cell bars and latches onto you with long thin appendages, it's stubby claws digging into your flesh. "YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUT! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME!"
………….
Bolting from your slumber you struggle to dislodge the nonexistent creature from you only to realise you are home within your bed. “For Celestia’s sake! Again with the nightmares!” Getting up you look toward the ornate clock in your room, 5:17 A.M.? It's too early for this, roll call isn't even for another three hours.
Unfurling your long black wings you stretch, sighing. "I doubt I will be getting anymore sleep, might as well get ready," you concede. Making your way to the bathroom you take notice of yourself if the mirror. Your grey mane disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and your onyx coat is matted in various places. "Heh, I look like shit. Best do something about it."
Walking away from the mirror you make your way to the shower of the surprisingly spacious accommodations given to you as an Officer of the Canterlot Police Department. Yes, you were a "pig", as the criminals of the city so eloquently phrased it. Though it wasn't your first career choice.
Heh, the Princess reaaaaaally was adamant I go with Law Enforcement. Memories flooded back to you of when you first told Luna you wanted to become a guard….
"I mean, it makes sense right? My cutie mark is a battle axe and round shield. So obviously my special talent has something to do with it." I reasoned my position. Princess Luna "hmm'd" in contemplation, staring at some distant point located in the rather Spartan room provided to me in the castle infirmary.
"Perhaps, it has something more to do with defense rather than offense." She countered. Tearing her vision away from the seemingly uninteresting wall. She then turned to you. "I know you really want to travel, and the Guard and Legion will most definitely give you that opportunity. But you could also get a job in Canterlot, in say, Policing. Then you can travel in your free time. And maybe come with us-with I on diplomatic missions. If thou d-dost want to of course." She added quickly, and though you can't be certain, you think her midnight blue cheeks had a hint of crimson to them.
Your silence dejects her, and the princess looks away feeling slightly embarrassed for even asking as it was clear your mind was made up. "Princess" you call for her attention, though it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. "Luna, look at me." At the sound of her name she glances back. "You're slipping again, with the words that is, and I'll tell you what. Give me a day to think about it. Because I won't lie, I'd definitely miss our talks if I'm not here." You gave her a soft smile that seemed to do just the trick.
Luna returned the joyous expression and gave you a hug which you happily returned. "We wou- I would miss our conversations as well. But I don't want you to feel pressured. Mayhaps I'm being greedy and simply do not wish to loose my friend." She broke the hug and stood to her full height. "Unfortunately, I have duties to attend to." As she made her way only exit in the plain room she stopped, looking back, "while I will miss you dearly, I still want you to do what YOU believe is best."
The hot water of the shower breaks you from your thoughts as you try to dislodge the memories from the forefront of your mind. Luna always treated me like such an old friend. As if I had known her for years long before we ever actually met. A smile touches your face. Just like it usually does when thinking of your closest friend.
You resume your bathing. Not in any rush as you had the misfortune of departing the sleeping world far too early. Hanging your head in exhaustion, you're already looking forward to getting off work so you can resume your slumber. But something catches your eye. The spent water flowing to the drain has a pink hue to it.
Glancing around yourself and the shower you can see nothing that would make the water change colors. That is until you glance at your left foreleg. Refusing to believe your eyes you bring the appendage closer to your face. Only to see five crescent wounds hidden beneath your coat. Curious as to what caused the injury, you began to rack your brain for an answer. Much to your dismay nothing can explain it until memories of a pale beast latching onto you break you out of your stupor.
"I think I need to talk to Luna." You say to nopony and finish your shower. Making sure to be gentle on the partially scabbed wounds on your foreleg.
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Great start, man. Can't wait for chapter 2.
11266144
. So I'll definitely be working on it lol. Thanks for reading!
Should be up next week. As I said, there isn't much to do where I'm staying. And I can't even go to a bar to grab a beer
11266161
You're welcome, man.
Was not expecting this to get a spin off but I’m excited!
Well this is going to be interesting. I can't wait for the moment of realization.
So they whiped his memories and changed his race without his permission. Oh wow they are not only racist but also psyhopaths
Why couldn't the fall have just killed me?
he doesnt even reconise his old self in a slight way. Also curious if luna likes the mindwiped and transformd pony or who he once was? either way its kinda making me uncomfortable to think about what this could lead to
11267300
11267337
I don't wanna spoil anything but it's not gonna be a cut and clear good vs bad. To give you a sense of what I mean I think this quote sums it up rather well.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." - Henry G. Bohn
11267376
i look forward to the eventual confruntation and learning why this has happend.
But I don't feel this way at all... 2nd person is the WORST way to write this type of story. I cannot identify with this alien persona in the least.
11267590
It's not necessarily supposed to be you though. I wrote it in a way that you could possibly sit back and try to view through their eyes. I mean, I kinda relate it to like Doom I guess. Obviously I'm not a demon slaying super soldier. But I'd like to experience that I am one. With a character who's persona is just vague enough I can insert myself into it.
Oh Lord.
I was secretly waiting for a sequel of sorts. Didn't expect to find an official one!
But I will wait until a few more chapters are online. The suspense would kill me if I have to wait for each chapter. Oh man, I just want to read about that fateful moment and future confrontation. I look forward to it
11267376
What Celestial did reminds me of a phrase from an anime I liked years ago
"There is goodness that is born of evil, but there is also evil that is born of goodness"
11267594
Why does this give me "Sign of Evil" vibes?
11267594
The profle picture of this story is the demon version of Dean from SuPerNatural(SPN) which is an amazing show.
How come you used it?
Bro this is so goddam good, I can't wait for an update
Mmm.
Interesting events have occured lets see what may happen
11268014
Personally I think it fits. It's a picture of a smudged person. Someone incomplete. A idea of a person but only vaguely.
LordOctavian couldn't have picked a better pic.
In my opinion.
Monk
“She was very good at assuming the worst, he always did that but she made him look like an amateur at it." -Arelak
11267590
Not everyone can. There are plenty of stories here that I stopped reading, not because of the way it was written, but because I just couldn't empathize with the character. Far too different from myself, or made decisions I couldn't consider reasonable.
It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with the story because there are hundreds of readers who love them. It just means that those stories weren't for me.
I look at it this way, the Author has their plan and like a artist with a painting, they should paint. It's not bad if I don't like modern art, or I don't like surrealism, or impressionism. It's just not a style I like. The artist shouldn't have to paint a different style because I don't like what they chose.
Monk
"I could kiss this guy right now, but I should probably not, I doubt these guys are Italian." -Dadecious
11269702 2nd person presents a particular problem since YOU are injected into the story. The story DEMANDS that you accept that you are this character. And that just doesn't work when the reader has nothing in common with said character. 2nd person tended to work best in typical adventure stories, where the emotional involvement was with everything going on around the character. Readers tend to gravitate towards placing themselves in adventurous scenarios, so it's a much more natural fit.
That's the primary reason the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' stories were so popular for so long. And the same with video games.
11269785
Oh my god, that brings back memories.
I think I had half a shelf of those great books. Those and the role play versions that had character sheets and played like a D&D campaign.
I wonder if they would have been worth anything? Sadly, I got rid of all my books when I lost my sight. Now they have cameras that can read paperbacks but back then that was a sci fi pipe dream.
Monk
😎
It’s nice to see a continuation, I look forward to seeing where you go with this.
The only thing I can think of is that he shouldn't have a Cutie Mark at all. If they murdered him mentally, he probably should only be able to become one by regaining what he lost. Or rather, he shouldn't have a REAL Cutie Mark or any sort of Talent or trait that matches it.
Also if their reaction to a human was that bad, I honestly think the EoH should have rejected the Mane 6 outright. That and the later seasons would be butterflied away entirely.
Well, imo, this situation is messed up. Hopefully the MC is able to lay down a few friendship lessons of his own for why you don't mindwipe, brainwash, and transform someone you call a friend, against their will (lol). I think it would be interesting to see this story go a more Grimdark/Anti-hero route (rather than simply tragic), with the MC once he discovers his origins, kinda' like "if this world is to change me, so to shall the world be changed".
Like it so far.
When’s the next chapter coming out
11267376
Flat out the only way them turning him into a pony and him being reverted into a blank slate could be considered benevolent is if they were totally honest with him from the start. That, or author fiat.
I for one, would be extremely upset.
11267376
I'm betting that the fall nearly killed him and after he landed they changed him because he said that this was the last choice he wanted to make. Because of those words, technically he had already given permission in the last story but it was hoping to die before that permission was followed through with
Meanwhile, me, in my house
“YOU GET INFINITE SHAWARMAS!”
11311321
A man can only eat so much lamb
Interesting
Update?
I know that Luna is friends with our protagonist, but I wonder if she's noticed how they were both changed in the name of the greater good. Our protagonist has his human side suppressed. Luna has her Nightmare Moon side suppressed.
11342383
we might get another chapter in about seven years given the body of work from the author as evidence....maybe.
11343071
Legendary username bro
FCK , THIS IS A OFFICIAL SEQUEL!?!?!?!