"N...No more...ple..please..." Gilda begged, looking at the pink mare through her good eye.
"I'm sorry, you'll have to be louder than that. I don't think the guards can hear you." Pinkie placed her hoof against Gilda's remaining wing, having already ripped the first in two.
"No...please NO!" Gilda screamed as Pinkie pressed her hoof harder against the wing.
"You tore apart Dashie's wings Gilda...I'm just returning the favor!" she grabbed the wing tightly and pulled, Gilda screaming.
"QUIT IT!" Gilda screamed as Pinkie pulled her forehead away from the Gryphons, the nightmare slow to fade away.
"Oh come on Gilda, I haven't even done anything."
"You're evil! I knew there was somethin' wrong with you the first time I saw you!" Gilda yelled
"Tsk tsk, do I have to put you back in time-out?" Pinkie asked, moving her head a bit closer. Gilda gulped.
"NO! NO! You keep that thing away from me!" she screamed, pulling on her chains and trying to break free.
"Gilda, those things could hold a dragon. Not a dragon like Spikie, they'd never put him down here. He's too sweet, but not sweet like candy, I wonder what Dragons taste like...hm...Anyway, we're not done yet! One more time!" Pinkie pressed her forehead to Gilda's and the nightmare continued.
"GAAAAAAAAAH!" Slowly the wing was torn away by the claws in Pinkie's hoof and chucked aside. Pinkie grinned, licking the blood from her claws and held one in front of Gilda's eye.
"No...no not that...i..its just a dream...ITS JUST A DREAM...ITS JUST A DREAM!" Gilda's chant grew louder and louder as the claw drew closer to her eye. All Pinkie could think of was how it was a shame the guards couldn't hear Gilda's wondrous screams of horror. Again she pulled away from the Gryphon, leaving her sobbing against the dungeon wall.
"If you ever, EVER, hurt any of my friends again. It won't be just a dream Gilda. And it won't end so quickly." Pinkie warned, leaving the Gryphon to her tears and marching up the stairs to leave the dungeon, her mane poofing up and a smile lighting her face as she vanished out of sight. Finally with Pinkie gone, Gilda let the tears flow, wailing like a newborn foal as the nightmare played out in her mind again and again.
Twilight blushed as Rainbow slowly pulled away, both of them simply staring at each other. The silence dragged on for what seemed like ages, finally Twilight broke the silence.
"w...Was that...what you wanted to say?" she asked. Rainbow laughed a little and nodded.
"Somethin like that, yea." Rainbow said softly
"I'm still a little confused Rainbow..." Twilight said, scooting a bit closer to her. Rainbow smiled, placing a wing over her.
"Well...maybe I can try explaining it again..." Rainbow suggested, leaning towards the unicorn.
"SISTER?!" Luna burst into the room, rushing to Celestia's side and causing the other two mares in the room to quickly pull away from one another.
"Sister! please awaken sister..." Luna nudged her elder sister gently, the Alicorn slowly opening her eyes.
"I am trying to rest Luna..." Celestia mumbled sleepily, bringing a sigh of relief from the younger sister.
"I apologize..." Luna stopped as Celestia raised a hoof, shifting to a sitting position.
"There is no need for that Luna. You were worried and...given the circumstances you had every right to be. But as for you two." Celestia cast a smile on her daughter and student.
"It is rare a mare tries to court a Princess." Celestia said to them, laughing as they both blushed.
"Sister, what are we to do now? Surely Niare will not simply sit still and allow his daughter to remain in the dungeons." Luna spoke up. Celestia nodded and turned to Rainbow.
"What do you think Chroma? She was once your friend and you are the one she attacked." Celestia asked.
"Me? You want me to decide what we do with her? Send her home or somethin I dunno." Rainbow shrugged
"Rainbow this is serious. Gilda could've ignited a war with that attack." Twilight said
"Then perhaps simply sending her home would be best. It would show that Ra...Chroma, is merciful and forgiving." Luna suggested.
"But that will also show Niare that she is merciful and forgiving, things the Gryphons are not. They'll think she's weak and that won't get us anywhere." Twilight spoke up.
"Well then what the buck am I supposed to do? Have her executed?!" Rainbow yelled. Blank stares answered her.
"Y...You aren't serious...You can't be serious...You want me to kill her?!" Again she was answered with silence. Rainbow turned to Twilight, hoping the unicorn had an answer. Twilight opened her mouth to speak, glancing over at Celestia and closing her mouth once more.
"Twi'...not you too..." Rainbow shook her head and rushed out of the room.
"Rainbow wait!" Twilight called after her, blinking in surprise as Luna blocked her path.
"She needs to figure this out on her own Twilight Sparkle. Sometimes we must all make hard decisions."
"This isn't fair! Thats her friend! What if Celestia asked you to execute me?!" Twilight yelled. Luna's expression never changed as she spoke.
"If it were for the good of everypony..." Luna began, interrupted by Twilight
"I can't believe this! You would really do such a horrible thing?" The unicorn screamed
"Twilight. We are Rulers and have many ponies to protect we cannot worry about simply one pony alone" Luna tried to explain.
"But there are other ways." Celestia said quietly.
"And Rainbow will find a way to save her friend."
Slowly the door above opened once more. Gilda took a deep breath and prepared herself for the return of the Pink Menace that had spent hours putting her through nightmare after nightmare. To her surprise it was none other than Rainbow Dash who came to see her.
"C...Come to gloat?" she asked, cursing herself for stuttering.
"No. G...they want me to kill you...its that or start a war against your dad." Rainbow said sadly, hanging her head. Gilda just stared at her.
I'm gonna die...she's gonna kill me...
"But I'm not gonna kill you and I won't let them kill you. You may be a jerk G, but you were my best friend once." She stepped forward and Gilda flinched.
"You alright? what the buck did they do to you?" she asked angrily. Gilda opened her mouth, her answer caught in her throat as a figure stared at her from the shadows. She closed her mouth, shaking a little.
"N..Nothin Dash...I'm just not use to spendin all day chained to a buckin wall." She said quickly, the figure slowly vanishing from the shadows of the dungeon. Rainbow sighed and her horn began to glow dimly, the locks opening and dropping Gilda to the ground. The Gryphon shook herself and looked into her ex-best friends eyes.
"Yo...You're just gonna let me go? Just like that?" Gilda asked.
"No, not just like that G. They have to believe this is a punishment, and in a way it is. If your dad see's me bein a weak scared little filly then he'll start a war, and if I don't kill you then Luna is going to kill you or start a war. Theres no other way around this. I'm sorry G." Rainbow said quietly.
"What are you apologizin fo..." Gilda blinked, finding herself on the ground, having been flung into a wall by a spell from Rainbow. She groaned in pain as she was lifted in the Alicorn's magic and carried out of the dungeons, guards surrounding the two of them as they made their way toward the Grand Hall where a feast was just beginning. Rainbow flung the doors open, slamming them into the walls as she made her way inside, throwing Gilda onto the massive table.
"FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, GILDA, PRINCESS OF THE GRYPHONS, SHALL FOREVER BE BANISHED FROM CANTERLOT AND ANY LAND OWNED BY MY MOTHER AND AUNT. IF ANYONE WISHES TO QUESTION THIS DECISION, DO SO NOW." Rainbow spoke up, everyone staring at her and the wounded Gilda in shock. Rainbow flapped her wings, landing on the table and pressing her hoof to Gilda's throat gently, careful not to apply to much pressure.
"Now wait just a minute!" Niare yelled, rising from his seat, his claws digging into the table.
"What do you intend to do with her?" he demanded.
"I will send her back with you and she is never to return." Rainbow declared
"No! I cannot take this...this...disgrace back with me!" Niare yelled. Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth, her hoof digging deeper into Gilda's throat as she let her anger slip, the gryphon gasping for air under her hoof.
"She either returns with you or she dies." she said simply.
"She shall not be returning princess" Niare said with as much distaste as he could muster. Rainbows anger snapped and she stepped forward to give Niare a piece of her mind hearing a loud crunch under her hoof. She blinked and looked down, staring at her hoof soaked in the gryphons blood and her friends eyes staring at her, screaming at her
Why over and over. All she could do was stare as the blood pooled around her. The hall fell as silent as the Gryphon pinned to the table by her hoof. Rainbow's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open.
"GILDA!" Rainbow screamed
Twilight blinked as Rainbow rushed past her, sobbing loudly.
"Rainbow!" Twilight spun to chase after her, stopping as her hoof landed in something wet. She looked down and gasped, finding bloody hoofprints where Rainbow had run past her.
"She's hurt! Rainbow wait!" Twilight pushed her body, chasing after her marefriend, a blush appearing on her face as the word entered her mind
Am I that close to her? No time to worry about that! She's hurt! Wait...why am I running? her horn began to glow dimly, teleporting her in front of the Alicorn and gasping as Rainbow crashed into her, the two of them tumbling down the hallway and finally coming to a stop with Twilight standing over Rainbow.
"Rainbow, whats wrong? Please tell me what happened." she looked at the blood soaked hoof, her mind slowly working out that it wasn't Rainbow's blood.
"G...Gilda...I...I j..just wanted...to set things right..a..and..I killed her!" Rainbow said through her sobs, tears filling her eyes.
"Y...You what...Dash..no you wouldn't..." Twilight stammered
"BUT I DID!" The troubled Alicorn screamed at her.
"I didn't mean to do it...I was just puttin on a show for everyone an...and...I pushed too hard a..and..." again she fell into tears, her words just barely understandable apologies. Twilight sighed and hefted Rainbow to her hooves, leading the mare out of the hall as she tried to think. After a while Rainbow finally stopped crying, though she didn't seem any better.
Her eyes held an empty stare, as if she had been completely drained of all emotion, her coat even seemed to have become a darker shade of itself. Twilight yelled in surprise as Luna appeared in front of them in a burst of light.
"Rainbow! Oh no...we've got to get her in bed." Luna said, snatching up the Alicorn in her magic, teleporting the three of them away without giving Twilight time to ask what was going on.
Twilight shook herself, not use to having somepony else teleport her somewhere. She would have to apologize to Spike the next time she saw him. Luna quickly placed Rainbow down on a bed, her magic remaining around her.
"Thank goodness...I caught her just in time..." Luna mumbled.
"Princess! Please tell me whats going on. Whats wrong with her?" Twilight asked
"I am not sure if you heard earlier Twilight, but as you know, Alicorns bodies are mostly composed of pure magical energy. Their emotions are very powerful and affect everything about them. But mostly their health. Rainbow went from happy, to stressed, to extremely depressed all in one day." Luna explained
"W...What does that mean?"
"She's going to die."
Yes, its short, But I haven't had time to write anything for this in ages. I only just now had the time to and its 4 in the freakin morning. With my rant over, i hope you all enjoy this chapter and I apologize again for its lateness and its contents.
1597258
Little whoopsie their
Oh no Rainbo....i mean...Chroma is going to DIE!
i46.tinypic.com/2whh4er.png
1597303 thanks, again, 4 in the morning and now its 5. I'm gonna go back over it all and fix those errors when Im fully awake.
That quicked escalatedly!
1597307
I don't think it was necessarily jumping the shark as more as it was.....
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Hopefully, you do go back over it when you're fully awake.
Now this is interesting
First Celestia is dying, then Gilda is accidentally murdered, then Chroma is now depressive and gonna die...
If alicorns were that fragile .....
At any rate there is no way RD can die there with Twilight... And you don't just say that sort of thing if emotions are the issue -- bad luna. Caught her just in time? Sounds like a little late to me if Chroma is going to be ex-Chroma.
i alway's know that pinkie is carzy in the head, but if fulltershy use that sheer she can be killed
1597753 In the show itself it says that Luna's "Jealousy" is what changed her into Nightmare moon. Powerful Emotion = Change in Alicorn. And you all know that if Rainbow AND Celestia died then the story would simply end and we can't have that now can we?
Everypony died -- the end. Lets see a griffon try to raise the sun.
good lord NOOOO dash, you better not kill her
1599399 This story is about Rainbow and Celestia as the main characters. If they died right now where would that leave the story?
1599357 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL no
1603065
I know
I have enjoyed your story so far, but I must say that I don't care much about the last chapter, about how you let Gilda die and made her into so much of a jerk.
In the series most of what she did was justified. If I was visiting my old collage friend for the weekend that I hadn't seen for years I would be so incredibly annoyed if one of her new friends wanted to but in and steel all the attention.
I may be the only one that thought that was the one that was in the wrong, but I felt like Pinkie had used the party and to manipulate Gilda into snapping.
And another thing we need to take into account was that Gilda was a in a foreign culture, consisting entirely of herbivores. If I was visiting a land populated by nothing but vegetarians and I was unable to get a good steak I too would be in a constantly bad mod.
Anyway to your story, I really hope you have a plan to where you are going, for if you are just winging it, you may have to consider a rewrite.
I read this
this is awesome
i hope for more update
and just to say
You've got some upcoming Fanart by me
Keep up that awesomeness
1604087 I hate winging stories, they get nowhere like that. Each and every word is carefully planned out before it is placed in notepad and if it looks like crap its scrapped and rewritten. There is a reason for Gilda 'dying'. There is a reason for Pinkie's strange power, and a reason Dash is 'dying' and all will be revealed in time. This is a sad story, it can't be happy all the time.
1604869 Thank you so much! I can't wait to see your art!
1605158
I am glad to hear that really. I was afraid this was another "Sun and Stars" no offence to Sparkfyre but her lack of planning and her constant "rewrite" of chapters have started to iritate me. One of the reasons why I havn't written more myself is because I want to make sure the story I write goes in the direction I have planned.
If you really have a thought out plan behind this, then that is good enough for me.
Ps. another reason I havn't written as much as I could is because I am in the midst of a giant art project.
1605217
I just don't know wich chapter i'd like to art on...
Was thinking when RD transforms or when Celestia "dies"
dunno yet... but i should have it finished in a week or so
1605217
Main part is now finished, i chose the scene where Chroma runs away after she killed Gilda
1615097 Awesome! I look forward to seeing it
i think you are progressing this story waaaaaaaaaay toooooo fast man.... slow down you have missed much opportunity here by going too fast.
1. twilights feelings when she learned she was used as a replacement for celestia.
2. you could have a chapter about what the others were doing in canterlot while rainbow trains for meeting the other races royalty.
3.the meeting do i think was ok but convenient isn't gilda a princess why does she then allow her emotions control her actions so god damn much.
4.celestia is a problem here too dying to not dying to dying make up your mind.
5. rainbows princessication or whatever wouldn't that take a week? why sooo fast? slow down look at the scenery.
i have some more problems with this story but im on the ps3 right know hard to type... soo bye for now
1617169 As with many things I write I like a second opinion and throw what I have out there for everyone to see until someone like you, who speaks honesty and means no harm and only wishes to better the story comes along and throws me some friendly advice. There will be better updates for this story and the chapters already here will be edited, but if you were among my normal followers you would know I have very little time to pour into writing with my hectic ever changing Wendys work schedule and thus my stories come out worse for wear. I do intend to fix all those gaps when I have time and I thank you for taking the time to point all of that out.
1618849 like you pointed out i only want to give advice. nice that you will go back and edit previous chapters
Very angsty and dark. Love it!
Good show, jolly good show
Well, alicorn stories normally annoy me, but I decided to have a look.
There are a number of errors but it's easily readable. The plot isn't particularly interesting imho, and some of it is predictable. The 'twist' with 'Chroma' apparently dying isn't very well executed. If alicorns were that fragile, Celestia would have died upon banishing Luna, Luna would have died before that, and Cadance would have died when kidnapped by Changelings.
Things move rather quickly and the 'I wish I wasn't a princess' angle is pretty common. No big problems with it as such though.
It's a pretty decent story though. I like it, but :constructivecriticism:
1667278 I had a plan set up to line up with the last chapter I posted but then as I read over it again and certain comments I may end up just rewriting that chapter. I haven't had time to properly write anything lately and its driving me insane.
You've got a good start going on here, looking forward to see the direction you end up taking this fic. TwiDash, I approve!
1686595global3.memecdn.com/still-waiting_o_207253.jpg
1786713 Sorry i haven't had the time to write anything. I was sort of run over by a car and have been busy recovering and trying to keep my job so I don't end up on the street. Updating a story was a bit low on my priority list
1786820i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/236/815/903.png oh...I'm sorry to hear that mate.....go ahead and take your time
So uuuuhhhh when ya gonna update?
Your injuries healed yet?
I'm starting to question the validity of these claims that Alicorns are dying. Super stressful day? I'M DYING! Feeling underappreciated? THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER!
drama queens, the whole lot of them.
What is it with Luna and deathsentences
You know, it's not very dramatic when you keep using it over and over.
Nope. I'm pretty averse to gore myself, but I can accept it for the sake of furthering the story. I'm not fond of "for the gore" stories, but if that's your cup of tea, sure. But this Pinkamena cameo feels completely unnecesarry. Why is it here if not for the gore. Gilda's death was shocking, but I assume it's important for the story. Were you setting up some conflict in the future, or was it just a cupcakes-homage?