Chapter 24 Part 1: Party your troubles away.
“Are you almost finished, Idol? We’re expected to arrive before everypony else so we can greet them, and we can’t do that if you’re not ready.”
Topaz’s questioning of my recollection on formal etiquette was unneeded as I was already in the process of preparing my dress coat for the evening.
This event was to commemorate the ponies and creatures of the guard for their stalwartness during the Wendigo assault, and I just found out some two weeks prior. Cadence’s assistant, Twobit, came and informed me during one of my outings which I then informed Topaz and Cersus of the new urgency. From my understanding it was originally to be a traditional ball that had been retooled to acknowledge their bravery, and by extent Princess Cadence felt I should be there.
We were fortunate Topaz had begun seeking commissions from Lady Silk String to expand her wardrobe to better accommodate her university’s efforts to modernize. Topaz had petitioned the Dean and fellow scholars about the necessity to better dress which led to the approval of updating their uniform policy in the first place.
‘Appearances matter, you don’t want to look outdated on the first day of class do you?’
When I told Topaz, it became a simple request for a few alterations to a dress’s appearance to better suit our needs; Topaz seemed all too eager to request these changes and when pressed informed me of her desire to resume our date nights in the future. This event served as the practical excuse she needed, and I can’t lie, that I’m looking forward to seeing some more plays in the future.
This admission left me lacking in the formal wear department, and I would have to correct that in time, but for now I was finishing my own preparations by cleaning the two phoenix insignias that marked my rank of Colonel. I haven’t worn them since the initial guard recruitment drive, and with everything that has happened, I was feeling unsure if it was appropriate to be wearing my dress slacks other than by Cadence’s suggestion I attend.
The length of leave, and some guilt were what it always came back to, yet I couldn’t hide anymore and continued with my preparations.
“Have you seen my shoes, Topaz? I can’t seem to recall where I’ve placed them, and I don’t remember where they could be.” I asked while gently placing my phoenix insignias on their appropriate collar.
There was a loud cry, followed by a commotion with an accompanying hushed conversation before the door to our shared washroom opened. Topaz had poked her head out with half her mane a work in progress, and the beginning applications of makeup.
“The last place I remember seeing them was in the wardrobe. Did you check the bottom drawer?” She asked me while I pondered her answer, but no sooner had she given me a clue did her head retract into the washroom to resume her preparations.
That would be the obvious place, but I could have sworn…
Needless to say the shoes were found, and I quickly began polishing them to make up for lost time. As I did so, I was besieged by past memories of this peculiar incident that I’d shelved until now. I just finished one of my inspections when I noticed an inconsistency with the report, and had been forced to recount the next day to verify its accuracy…
“48 guardsponies were accounted for during that inspection, but by Order’s Will, and the Princesses Understanding, I shouldn’t have had more than 47 remaining by that point.”
It had always bothered me for the miscount could throw a great many things off sync, and my own thoughts were already suggesting possible changeling activity within the Empire. At the time I felt the need to keep this information quiet in the chance I was the one at fault. By the third recount I was sure I’d made a mistake, but when Topaz and I encountered that couple selling Poison Joke Bulbs meant anything, it was that a few exiles were already making their way to the Empire.
So what about the non-exiles?
The recount came out to 47 and so I moved on forever unsure if I had actually miscounted or really did discover a possible infiltration attempt. Mentioning any of this now wouldn’t have won me any favors, and might even destroy confidence in the Crystal Guard entirety. Learning not only of their inability to detect these internal threats, but the discovery their supposed leader is one of these threats? Even worse it would reflect badly on the royal family, as by now it should be common news that Shining and myself are old acquaintances, and (maybe) still friends, so there was only further pressure to keep this to myself until I could discover solid proof or reestablished my ties with Shining Armor.
I stopped applying my second coat of shoe polish as a sudden thought came to me- since when had I found the act of ‘lying by omission’ to be favorably acceptable?
“Since I gained more responsibilities.” I concluded.
‘It wasn’t really lying in the traditional sense.’ I’ll tell myself, and there is some truth to this. As someling in a position of power, I’m aware how dangerous it is to be making accusations without proof to back up the claim. So, until I could accurately present any evidence I will not bring up any mention of changelings in the Empire. Period.
With this decided and my shoes polished until I could see my own chitin reflecting off them, I set them aside so I could start changing into my dress uniform. I just finished laying out the coat on the bed when the washroom’s handle began to rattle, and slipping between the gap between the door was Cersus with her mane stylized to match Topaz’s half completed monstrosity of knots and split ends. Except this time Topaz’s mane was finished.
“Watch her real quick Idol, I need to finish up.” Topaz commanded before closing the door once more, leaving Cersus standing there expectantly.
I decided to break the ice cubes as they say.
“Your mane is well done, Cersus.” She buzzed her wings in response, and should count her fortunes I wasn't an ‘Outside Changeling’, else her action could have been seen as aggression.
“Topaz said so, but why do I have to dress up? Isn’t this party just for adults?”
“Normally, this would be a formal ball, and nothing more, but Cadence and Shining have decided to turn it into a celebration for the Guard’s work by opening it up to their families. You’re required to attend much the same way you came to the Crystal Empire- with elegance and nicer clothes.”
The not so little nymph became less aggressive in her mannerisms this time, and more thoughtful as she tried looking up at her styled mane without a mirror. This of course failed and she then turned to look at me.
“But I never understood why I had to dress up and go to these adult parties all the time. They're boring and all I do is stand there while ponies tell me how adorable I am, not that I don’t mind the free feelings, but it gets…” she paused to look at me, opened her mouth, and then closed it.
“Old?” I offered the nymph who had the sense to appear embarrassed.
“You’re the one that said it. I was going to say tiring standing there and smiling all the time. It hurts my mouth.” Cersus sighed, and while I couldn’t openly admit to supporting her distaste for it, I could try deflecting her angst with simple deflection by pointing to her styled mane.
“Your mane reminds me of a beehive Cersus, and I don’t know if I should feel affronted at the accusation. To my knowledge, changelings don’t build hives in trees.”
“A beehive! Topaz said she was making my mane look pretty!” Cersus tried looking up at her weighted mane once more, but with more fear. Each time the growing nymph did, her head would continue back nearly taking her with it. She tried this twice before giving up.
“It would explain the mess upon your head Cersus, but I digress. Should it calm you, I’m sure a young queen like yourself could find it comfortable.”
I was lucky Cersus didn’t pick up on what I’d accidentally revealed, and instead concluded I was making fun of her, which I wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. So, I watched as her cheeks inflated, and wings buzzed to appear more intimidating, but I found myself trying not to smile as she stomped her hoof.
“That isn't funny, Idol! Next you’ll say I’m attracting birds for winter, which I won’t because this is only for tonight!” I chuckled as she huffed.
“Don’t be so hasty young one. I hear the Element of Kindness uses songbirds to help her sleep, and you could do the same with Flurry Heart if you were to add a branch or two.”
Cersus didn’t find it nearly as humorous as I did, and kept huffing to express her annoyance.
Topaz came out of the washroom soon after wearing her newly commissioned dress, and by law I had to stop to watch. She giggled and I smiled. Topaz took two full length strides into the room where she did two full spins, her movements slow, and deliberate to avoid ruining her styled mane. I could taste the excitement and happiness emitting from her, and I was of course drawn to it like one of Honey’s bees- we nuzzled.
‘Someling is a happy bug…”
I was thankful our backs were turned to the nymph as Topaz was feeling a bit affectionate, and I didn’t want Cersus too comfortable with this level of love just yet. But talks with Topaz and Cadence suggested this might not be possible for much longer, as Cersus appeared to be entering that growth phase all young eventually reach. One way or another the day will come when she doesn't need our love, and by their estimates could be gathering it by herself as early as next year. A scary prospect to consider, but that was for another time, and returned Topaz’s affection.
“I am content, and happy. A weird concept for a changeling to admit or experience, but if Cersus and myself can serve as the example, it is that changelings can cohabitate comfortably.”
I meant that of course, and to reinforce that point even gave Topaz a quick ‘peck’ on the cheek. I got her to giggle and produce a little more of that love since I noticed small whiffs of it being led away from us and toward the nymph. Topaz understood my intent when I motioned toward the nymph, and returned my affection by placing a peck of her own on my other cheek. Cersus quickly averted her eyes when her stomachs began crying for more love.
“Don’t worry dear. These parties, especially guard parties, tend to foster a wonderful atmosphere so there will be plenty to eat.”
“Guard functions have developed a reputation among certain groups that these mares and stallions actively seek out single guards to attend with. It’s discouraged to bring these ponies as a plus one, but some still do for reasons, and I know a few ponies that have met their spouse from these actions. While this has been an issue in the past, I doubt it will happen here. You will be well fed.”
“You know, hat does raise the question if this might be too much for Cersus?” I looked toward Topaz, and I had to stand there trying to read her eyes, and muzzle as she hid her emotions from me.
I frowned in thought. Her smile got wider, and then I knew what she was doing and continued with the jest.
“Cersus may be a nymph, and while nearing the end of her second growth phase is more than capable of controlling her feeding urges. My concern is if all the positivity will prove too much of a temptation…”
“You act like I’m some stupid grub that can’t feed themselves! I’m old enough to handle myself!” I looked down at the nymph who stood in front of me with buzzing wings.
Cersus was growing faster than a normal nymph should have been in normal hive conditions, and that wasn’t lost to the nymph as her height has increased a good hoof. Even with this unexpected growth spurt her appetite has remained much the same while mine has increased. I’ve speculated with Topaz on this, and her best explanation is the love saturated air keeping her ‘fed’ while my transformation might require more love to remain healthy. All speculative of course and until we can properly test this theory ourselves using Paper Weight’s notes as a basis, we can’t be certain.
Looking at Topaz, I watched as her smile reached its maximum size as she gestured for me to continue. Not one to back down from my share of the parenting, I continued on as instructed.
“That you are Cersus, and one day won’t need Topaz’s love…” I held out a hoof to keep her settled, and to not further work her up then I’d unintentionally done so. “... it will always be available should you ever need it or come visit. What I’m saying is you'll be big enough to have your own source of love to draw from one day, and won't be too reliant on Topaz alone. ”
I couldn’t tell if that calmed her any, but it got Topaz’s limp wings flapping from a sudden injection of energy, and a need to join in the teasing/comforting.
“Come on Idol, she isn’t that old to be looking for a colt or fillyfriend already. She’s barely old enough to leave the castle legally without an escort, and most definitely not.. I’m kidding Cersus!”
Topaz couldn't help but to laugh as the nymph shifted to face the pegasus, and give her a stomp of her own. I reprimanded the nymph for her disrespectful actions to Topaz, but said pegasus found the actions more ‘cute’ than offensive. Still, Cersus was made aware of her aggressive behavior, and her posture slouched enough to reflect this understanding, and kept averting her eyes from Topaz and myself when she asked the question once more.
“I don’t have to leave do I?” No matter how many times we affirm we’re not discarding her, the young nymph seemed unable to fully shake off the fear.
“The answer has remained unchanged, but I’ll say it again...” Topaz carefully began laying on the ground making sure her massive beehive mane style didn’t cause her to tip over. “...we love you and will always welcome you back. What we meant was one day you’ll run across some creature that’ll make it really hard to live with your embarrassing folks.”
“So, you best bee hive yourself, understood?” I made sure to show my fangs with this smile as Cersus tried acting like she was choking on the terrible joke, yet her posture reflected nothing, but a content nymph.
“Alright! Let's finish getting ready for the ball shall we? Cersus, we still need to get you into your dress first and foremost.” Topaz started standing back up, and carefully began running her wings (the nerves were still damaged) across the sides of the dress to remove any wrinkles that might have appeared.
Cersus looked up at the two of us, and in a rare display of self awareness asked a question that made my dear Topaz curse.
“I thought you said I didn’t have to wear one if I got the stupid beehive on my head.”
“Mind your tongue Cersus. I said you didn’t have to wear the dress at this moment as I styled…buck.” It was only when thinking about it and seeing the nymph’s styled mane did she understand there was no way to wear a dress without having to undo the mane.
Cersus picked on this and acted like she was going to undo her mane, but was stopped each time by the irritable pegasus. I moved closer to even siphon some of Topaz’s negativity to help calm her, but was turned away. Years in Equestria taught me to cut my losses, and I did exactly that.
“I’ll just get dressed after my walk…”
“Hey you can’t just leave!” Cersus cried out as she was nabbed by Topaz’s waiting hooves once again ready to figure out some way to salvage all of her work.
“I can, and I will. Be back in thirty minutes.”
My walk lasted nearly an hour total because my planned arrival landed me in the middle of the two no less than yelling at each other, and in the practice of spreading Harmony went for another walk. It is that reason alone we’re trotting down the hall toward the stairs that lead to the Royal Throne Room where the ball is being hosted.
“My shoe! It fell off!”
“Harmony Cersus! Idol!?”
“On it.”
Little inconveniences like that were what kept us late, but eventually we reached the stairs and descended them in post haste. Many of the patrols had been canceled to allow as many guards as possible to attend the first official guard function since the Empire’s return, and of course almost the entirety of the Crystal Guard leaped at the opportunity. To allow this, many of the Equestrian Guards picked up the remaining patrols on the condition they will be compensated with more pay, time off, and a smaller function for them only.
‘I'll have to thank them when time permits.’ I told myself as we struggled to keep up the pace.
Because of the lack of patrols, we were able to blitz the stairs, and this proved true for the hall as well. We hurried toward the growing noise that sounded like polka music- I shuddered at the memory of that mare, but pushed the objective horror away as our destination was finally in sight
. We paused to make a few final preparations before walking as practiced toward the growing noise of a larger sounding party.
The moment we turned, we saw two of the Day Guards with their ears pressed against the door. I spent enough time in the Crystal Guard to have met or seen every guard, and these two were no different, but that brief interaction failed to make these mares any less changeling like. As we approached they still didn’t hear us until I made the effort to ‘clear my throat’, and that was enough to break the spell over them.
The mares, while different colored coats and manes were essentially the other’s opposite- the mare on the right was opulent green with red curls in her mane while her partner on the left was a dull cream with a richly dark mane fashioned into a bun. The one on my right held her spear in her left hoof while her companion held it in her right hoof…
“Hello Colonel Hooves...”
“... Dame Topaz, and Lady Redshock.”
“Your appearance is unexpected…
“...but reassuring. Please allow us.”
The two mares then proceed to bang the bottoms of their spears against the floor in a rhythm following a simple guard cadence- one, two, stop. One, two, stop.
I turned to Topaz who looked equally unsure what to do or say besides trying to appear friendly with a smile, while Cersus openly displayed confused. Fortunately, we didn’t have the chance to say anything unbecoming in front of the strange mares, because the Throne Room doors began opening, and with a free hoof, the mares each grabbed one handle…
“Colonel Hooves…”
Dame Topaz, and Lady Redshock.
“We bid you entry.”
“We bid you entry.”
The doors opened and the polka music flooded my hearing, nearly drowning out all of the social interactions being conducted, but it didn’t seem the ponies minded it too much. We held back and watched from the safety of our window until without warning Cersus’s wings were ‘flapping’ in excitement before bolting through the open doors.
Topaz and myself didn’t react immediately, but when the music suddenly cut out, we seized the moment, and galloped through the door on instinct.
When we caught up to Cersus, she was surrounded by inquisitive ponies in a mixture of Guard Slacks/ Blouses, or formal wear, all gathered around the disguised nymph expressing appropriate emotions when discovering a young filly at a prestigious event. It was only when Topaz and myself appeared did their feelings change to match their shifting faces from mild curiosity to shock- a few even saluted earning the attention of those around them.
“Good afternoon ponies! I hope you are having a super duper time?” There was a pause followed by a loud cheer and stomping of hooves that didn’t exclude the gathered group around us. “Boneless Two has received some very exciting news, and I couldn’t wait to share it… our guests have arrived!”
He went silent, and suddenly every pair of eyes began turning our direction…
Hushed whispers could be faintly heard as the entirety of the room’s feelings morphed into what I could only describe as unrestrained excitement. Cersus was in the forefront, almost lapping up the charged vibes as Topaz was doing her best to wave and say hi to the many groups that were forming around us. The further we progressed, the more the whispers gave way to louder conversations and eventual clapping and cheers.
Cersus was still ahead of us running to every cheering pony she could, even collecting a few hoof bumps, while I reluctantly began returning some of the offered salutes to ease the burden off of Topaz. She managed to catch up to me during the disorienting mess of sound and emotions in the air, and side by side we continued our impromptu parade toward the Throne.
We nearly lost sight of Cersus again as she excitedly flapped her wings while Topaz’s own wings limply fluttered against my side. Unlike the nymphs’ wings, her’s was from a growing nervousness that had developed only after the Frozen Storm; subsequent discussions with Topaz revealed a developed trepidation of the injured wings, and how flight has so far eluded the pegasus. I couldn’t provide a satisfactory answer that felt appropriate, and thus, had taken to showing my support and affection by walking side by side so our shoulders would be touching.
I wished to do more, but Topaz reassured me this was everything she needed. Even with her reassurances, I still wanted to express my desire to support her, and settled for a simple gesture of affection. I leaned closer to deliver a quick nuzzle along her cheek, and smiled when she not only returned it, but was radiating happiness.
It was in formation that we walked toward the throne under continued praise, some welcoming, but most I felt misplaced, but that mattered less and less as the two ponies standing by the throne became recognizable. Cersus was still waving and hoof bumping everypony she came across, effectively gorging herself on their positivity before giving Cadence and Shining Armor her attention, and when she did, bolted toward them.
Her reaction caught me woefully unprepared as I’d never seen her react this way, but Topaz made her voice loud enough through the hoof claps and praise to tell me the nymph has taken a shine to little Flurry Heart. I’ve seen some of this first hoof when we’ve brought the foal along on a few of our outings, predominantly when we went for frozen yogurt a couple weeks ago, but the extent of it didn’t click until now.
I couldn’t hear what Cersus said, but it was what she did that once again made me realize just how out of touch I was with Cersus’s life. I watched as Cersus jumped into Cadence’s waiting hooves, and to further rub dirt in the wound watched as Shining, though reluctantly, even patted her shoulder twice. The nymph and princess were taken back by the gesture alerting Topaz and myself this wasn’t a common occurrence.
The DJ noticed the moment between us forming, and announced it was time to resume the ‘mandatory fun’ as he called it to keep most of the eyes off us for the time being. After a brief hesitation, the party resumed allowing Topaz and myself to approach without the awkwardness of having a full room watching us.
I thought Topaz or Cadence would break the silence between us, but in another twist, it was the nymph that took charge by asking a question.
“Why do you hate Idol?”
The four of us said nothing as we processed her words, and I was about to correct the filly when Topaz’s limp wing flickered against my side signaling me not to interrupt. Cadence and Shining were taken back as well, and looked to the other for guidance as they fidgeted in discomfort. Out of respect, I didn’t try tasting their emotions to allow them privacy- Cadence spoke first.
“Now Redshock, that is simply untrue. Idol is a beloved friend of ours for many years, and will continue to be one for many years to come…” Cadence began only to be interrupted by Cersus.
“Then why do you always taste funny when his name comes up? I’m not stupid!” Cersus stomped her right forehoof once more today. A bad habit she’d developed since living here.
“It’s complicated, Redshock.” Shining spoke up, earning the nymph’s unflinching gaze, and to his credit, Shining didn’t look away, and continued on. “I don’t hate Idol. I was..I am more hurt by his secret.”
This time I didn’t keep quiet. “I won’t apologize for maintaining my identity for so long, especially from my two closest friends, but I will only state the pony you’ve known these many years isn’t gone. I would even suggest not only you, but everypony I’ve met has contributed to the ‘Idol’ you see before you.”
“It’s rather remarkable that Idol managed to maintain his base personality so well!” Topaz interjected “I’ve managed to chart his progression since his first day in Canterlot if you want to have a look.”
“That’s not really necessary...”
“Ok.”
Shining Armor and Cadence turned to each other, and I swore the candy flavored princess’s irises might have narrowed… hypothetically of course. Shining Armor stood his ground and shrugged as he defended his choice.
“I would like to know who skewered his choice to willingly pick Fireflies as an acceptable class.” Topaz’s laughter spurred the alicorn’s look into dangerous territory while Cersus seemed unsure how to respond.
“It was a simple choice to make- do the opposite of Shining Armor.” That calmed the alicorn down as she mirrored the nymph’s look, but Topaz’s laughter only grew more merry. ”Having heard your justification over the years, I learned early on to do the opposite to great success.”
“Liar! Bold told you to say that didn’t he?”
“I assure you Bold would never go against your word without proper evidence, or reasoning to do. If anything, Bold would likely side with you given his preference for mid-maxing, and your choices align with his goals. So, there is no outside influence, but my own understanding of the mechanics leading me to my decision.”
“Hold up…” Shining tapped his hooves together in the universal sign to let him speak else he’ll forget. “... it was Wispy wasn't it?”
His accusation was expected, but while entirely possible it wasn't true. I knew what needed to be done, and to save our friend’s reputation from the slander, I had to get serious…
“PathSeeker is a better system.”
I didn’t like the look he gave me, but it made me smile.
“Are you serious!?” Cadence hissed under her breath as she watched the two stallions argue over their stupid Spiders game. Topaz’s laughter only soured the mood as the alicorn felt the whole thing was aggravating, considering they had spent so long trying to figure out how to make their respective partners apologize.
“It’s colts being colt’s Cadence. Even after all the drama they still revert back to their routine of needless arguments..I call that a success!”
“And nothing like a good party to loosen the atmosphere!” Both mares jumped at the unfamiliar voice, and were confronted by a yellow earth stallion with a dark brown mane smiling widely at them. “Laughter and joy brings out the best in a pony, and sometimes it's all we need to be reminded of the good times.”
“How did you leave the booth without us noticing?” Topaz asked, and the stallion pointed to the booth, just as the distinct scratching sound of the vinyl being scrubbed filled the Throne Room.
“Don’t worry your graces, Boneless is watching the booth while I’m away.” Both mares didn’t know how they felt seeing a rubber chicken wearing headphones slumped over the spin table. “I wanted to take this time to give these to you before they’re all gone! It’s a proven fact that cake is the first to go at a party, and we couldn't have you missing out.”
Reaching behind himself, he produced four plates each wrapped in a reflective material, and hoofed them over to the stunned mares.
“Uh..thank you?” Topaz managed to utter as her royal friend collected herself and properly thanked their hired musician/ party planner.
The stallion smiled brightly. “No need to thank me, it's all a part of the experience. And don’t worry about having to eat the cake now because I wrapped it in aluminum foil, so all the delectable flavors should remain sealed tight for later!”
With that, the strange stallion bid them a fair well and literally leaped off the raised platform into the waiting crowd below where he disappeared into a sea of laughing ponies.
“He’s eccentric…” Cadence asked while looking at the two floating plates in her magic.
“You kidding right? That stallion has like 99 problems, but this cake isn’t one of them.”
Topaz reconfirmed her statement as she used one of her injured wings to lift a plate toward her mouth. The wing trembled at the usage, but what discomfort was ignored as the pegasus took another healthy bite of the cake. As she absorbed the sugary treat, she bobbed her head up and down in delight of the taste.
“Perhaps, but he has done a wonderful job with the ball..look how happy everypony is.”
Both mares did spare a moment to observe the gathered guards and their plus ones, and in truth, were mesmerized by how informal everypony was acting- a far cry from the galas they’ve attended back in Canterlot. In dress uniforms, dress blouses, or suits, and dresses, these ponies were dancing in a comical mix- matched, and almost distressed series of movements that appeared more random than purposeful. For Cadence, it reminded her of her socially awkward sister-in-law while Topaz entertained the idea that Idol might have drilled them in some exercise that they took as recreational.
“Well, they do seem happy even if they’re trying to fly with their hooves.” Topaz snickered, placing the empty plate under the spare, and desperately trying not to eat that slice as well.
“Yea…” Cadence agreed, and this time the ends of her mouth curved upwards until two certain stallions started to laugh.
Their raw, and almost innocent laughter caught their attention more than the fact these two were just actively avoiding each other up to a couple weeks ago. This new twist into the whole saga was so unexpected that Cadence lost her smile again as all the frustration and headaches from dealing with their issue came to surface.
“I swear I’m going to have a chat with Shining after tonight about his behavior. All of this unnecessary stress to casually discard it so freely?” Cadence’s previous excitement languished as she slumped over, and not even the two slices of cake floating next year could ease her mood.
Topaz didn’t have it in her to laugh anymore even if she found the situation amusing, for the pegasus understood the alicorn’s plight having been on the other side of the argument.
“I won’t bother talking about it with Idol. I’m just happy they finally remembered they’re grown adults and not little colts.” Topaz gestured with her hoof toward the stallions, admiring how animated their conversation appeared.. “They don’t miss a beat.”
Cadence looked up to join her friend in stallion watching, feeling the mutual love of her husband as he avidly laughed with his best friend. Idol and Shining were unaware of the attention because if Harmony permitted, they were already making preparations to resume their Spiders and Catacombs campaign in the next couple of months. Life might have gotten bumpy, but it finally appeared everything was returning to normal for the two stallions and their respective families.
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Ooo, art! So that's what they look like. Neat!
The guards at the door did give off some weird vibe tho, like the twin sisters from The Shining.
Aww it nice to see the dorky bros getting along like they used to, I missed the wholesomeness of the two guys being just good buddies.
Cheese Sandwhich roadtrip music for The Golden Gals would be The Saga Begins?
This doesn’t gel at all with the sentence it’s supposedly being transplanted to, and I have no idea what you were going for…
This was the most egregious one, sorry, I’m on mobile and about to go to work good luck with everythingggg
11469696
Yea, I'm aware. The intent was she was going to say old, but after many times of calling Idol and Topaz old thought twice about it. So, she switched it trying to suggest they're jealous of her good looks.
Edit: But thank you for pointing it out, and if it should prove too problematic I'll go back and fix it.
Pretty good read, but definitely needs to be worked over by an editor or two. Because there's sentences missing words, and others that use the wrong word entirely.
Maybe you might want to change that to sugary?
11469827
Will do, and yep. One past wasn't enough so I'll be going over it a few more times over the next couple days. Sigh. I got excited to get the art, and rushed once more.
i love the chapter awesome righting.
and wow the art is supper cool
11469843
It's OK, I make plenty of mistakes. Even dozens of pass-throughs will miss stuff, and that was one Grammarly isn't going to catch. Although, when I was composing, Grammarly wanted treat changed to treatment.
11470057
It doesn't help I write while watching youtube either! Tonight I turned everything off and focused on edits and nearly rewrote the first 800 words of the chapter, but I honestly can say the flow is much better. I'll ping everyone that commented when its finished so they can enjoy a proper chapter.
11470065
... wipsy?
Theres a couple if words here that are making me chuckle.
11470183
Yep, that's one of the female Guards Idol knows from Vdrake's story. I had to check with him and I swear that's how her name is spelt.
11470381
I think you mean Wispy.
(Also you said Lair, which I assume you mean Liar!)
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Which further proves I rushed this, but I am taking my time time now to do a proper edit. I’ll ping everyone once it’s done for feedback.
It's going to be so glorious when he goes "you're a Queenie, Cersus!" and she goes, "well duh! Was that what you were fretting about?!?"
Here's some science to test: will being saturated in love constantly over time affect the growth of a changeling? 🔬
Good chapter
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There we go! I made another pass with YouTube turned off, so if you're up for reading the chapter one more time, I'll appreciate the feedback!
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😘
I find it deeply amusing that in giving me credit for some edits that I made, you misspelled my username
.
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Plus those edits are quality of live improvements. Even if the story might be completely 100% problem free, the edits are enough to not distract people while reading.
Good to see the boys managing to patch up things.
Cersus growing as she is will make things interesting as time goes by.
This was a delightfully fun chapter
Found a little stray bit of something that snuck in:
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Thanks! As for the stray but I can't get rid of it without deleting the picture. Everything I tried only posted the image string, and so far using Imagur and then I bedding it worked.
Like an old comment I've posted some year(s) ago on an earlier chapter, I am all caught up once more and once more wait for more chapters!
I'm really enjoying the story, still. So ya, thats an good thing, huh?
Take your time, no need to rush your writing!~
-Captain Absolution
I like to imagine Topaz's chart of Idol's progress is the amount of metaphors he started understanding.
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I told Vdrake what you thought and we both found it funny. Here's his response, and in a way makes perfect sense.
That was a good story. goodluck with the rest of it.
That was a good album.
Heheheheheh stick in in your cooler too.
So handy. I'm cringing!