Chapter 3: Officer Friendly is here. (Edits HorseWordsFan)
We would have disembarked much earlier, but forfeited our position in the queue until we were the last ones still on the train.
We watched as the last passengers exited onto the platform before being absorbed into the mass of shiny ponies that had assembled on the edge of land owned by the Equestrian Railroad Company. The beauty of the Crystal Empire didn’t go completely unnoticed to the three of us, but another matter had occupied our thoughts for a moment.
“They’re not leaving.” Cersus noted from her spot on Topaz’s back, her forehooves resting on the pegasus’ head.
“Are they here.. for us?” Topaz briefly turned to look at me, Cersus’ gaze never leaving the window as she did.
The thought had become more prevalent as I watched some of the ponies closest to the platform eyes’ get wide as each pony left the train. I noticed this was the same reaction every time a pony exited only to fall in mild disappointment when the pony became visible, and it had repeated until finally everypony but us had left.
The crowd appeared more anxious now that the stream of ponies dried up, but weren’t disbanding as they continued watching the train as if they were waiting for a certain pony to appear. Order and Harmony.
“I fear they might be.” I finally answered, not too keen on the idea.
“Like for a welcoming party or something?” Cersus asked, as the growing fear increased as the amount of ponies lumping together continued. Mixed in were many ponies with cameras taking pictures every few minutes based on the flashes I managed to count.
A glance to the little nymph standing on Topaz’s head, and I knew the trepidation wasn’t my imagination. She had never expressed so much fear when we took our strolls through the Canterlot, nor when she recounted her day to us in the late evening.
Either Cersus had always been terrified of big crowds given her infiltrator upbringing or something had happened to the nymph she never informed us about. If she did tell Topaz, then I was left out of the discussion for one reason or another- I will respect said wishes for now.
“To sell us something, mostly like a subscription…” I decided to jest in the hope of breaking the tension for the young nymph, but Topaz took it as a serious suggestion.
“Really Idol? A mob of ponies is waiting just off the platform and you think it's to sell us something?”
“...I hope it's for Glazed Bricks. I really want to read what the other potters are using for their mixture ratios.” I continued on with my jest watching how the tension melted from Cersus’s body until she appeared more relaxed.
She tapped at the window, alerting Topaz and myself to some of the large groups of ponies present outside.
“Are they really a mob though? Isn’t a mob supposed to have torches or pitchforks and be angry?” Cersus asked as she abandoned her spot on Topaz’s head for the safety of the ground, and ran to the compartment under the train seat where she kept her bag.
Topaz watched her for a second before turning to me.
“What do you think they want? Were you told about a crowd meeting us here? What about Shin…” I had taken the opportunity to move closer and nuzzled the side of her neck, literally tasting the anxiety hovering over her tensed body.
“I was not informed of any gathering of ponies besides Shining Armor meeting us. Their reasoning for being here is lost to me, but I do know they are likely not here for us.”
She leaned into the nuzzle as I sampled her emotions to better judge her mood, happy to feel…
“They’re not a mob!” Cersus shouted as I felt something whack my side with the impact velocity of a foal recklessly endangering everypony around.
“Cersus!”
“What?”
“I’m..fine.” I caught my breath after the surprise attack, joining Topaz in expressing our displeasure. The nymph either failed to notice or didn’t care as she removed the book from my side and began flipping through the pages until she found what she was looking for.
“Here! Daring Do describes an actual mob after arriving at the spooky village of…”
“I don’t remember buying that book for you.” Topaz muttered as she took the offered book.
“Indeed. The cover art and rating suggest its For Yearlings, and not a young and impressionable nymph.”
“I didn’t borrow it if that's what you're suggesting, but in fact bought it..with my own bits.” She added after reading my mind. Cersus was becoming a hooffull.
“Daring 4: The Village. Definitely not a book I would have suggested, but what does it have to do with the mob outside?” Topaz questioned as Cersus used her magic to steal back the book, much to her ire.
“Carrrefuullllll! This book is going to be signed-eventually. So, it must be in peak condition!” Cersus looked over the book for signs of stress before opening it once more to the page she was on before shoving it into my muzzle. “Here! Read!”
“Noted. I’m still a little bruised from the sneak attack, but still impressed with your ability to source your argument. Perhaps the guard is in your future?”
“BLAGH!” Cersus made a face as she retreated with her book to put it back into her bag. Topaz became bubbly with merriment suddenly, shooting me a smirk as she moved toward Cersus.
“You know…” Topaz started as she carefully sat down, lifting the dress just enough not to sit on it “...the guard may not be a terrible experience. With Idol’s recent promotion he could throw that rank around and get you in…”
“Topaz.” I warned, already not liking the course of this conversation.
“With Cersus’ skills, she’ll have an advantage over her peers by years.” the pegasus tried justifying her joke, but the giggling gave it away. Cersus and I didn’t find it nearly as funny.
Cersus finished putting her book away when her ears pinned up, I soon joined her as we turned toward the corner of the car. Topaz’s giggling ended as the worry from earlier began making its return, adding to the serious nature of what was happening.
“Somepony’s here.” Cersus confirmed as she cautiously retreated to Topaz’s waiting hooves. I nodded as I positioned myself between them and the door, following their projected path to our door.
We all listened as the hoofsteps drew closer, and louder in pitch. Closer and closer the pony trotted until he stopped directly in front of the door, his shadow could be seen moving underneath; I felt the urge lean a little forward to rush the intruder if needed as the handle began fidgeting...
“IDOL? TOPAZ?” a familiar voice called out from the other side, one I recognized instantly as my longest and most trusted friend since joining the guard.
“Shining. ” I called out as I walked over to the door, noting Topaz and Cersus clinging to each other. Were they scared?
“IDOL!” He called from the other side as I opened the door, and greeted my friend for the first time in months.
“It’s good to see you.” I offered my hoof which was countered when he pulled me into a hug.
“It’s good to see you.. all of you!” he added that last bit as he noticed Topaz and Cersus by the window…”You have a foal?”
That question snapped Cersus out of her clingy mood to confront my unicorn friend as he began moving toward her. Seeing the two so close made me aware that until now neither of them have been properly introduced resulting in this being their first introduction…
Maybe I should have mentioned Topaz and I were providing for a foal before now?
“Who are you?”
“I’m a friend of your parents...” Shining started off his introduction, but found it difficult to proceed when Cersus’s eyes narrowed as she deliberated his claim.
The admittance of our role in her life was still a tender subject, but not nearly enough to out right call my oldest friend out. I acted to continue their introduction in a timely manner.
“Prince-Consort Shining Armor.” I clarified for Cersus given she had never met Shining during her escapades around Canterlot. The suspicion vanished as the revelation of royalty being presented opened up a realm of possibilities often out of reach to the general populace, and the chance to one up her peers proved too much to pass up.
“You’re a prince?” She asked, watching him with slight distrust.
Shining’s attention went from her to Topaz, to me, back to Cersus, and back to Topaz as he never had a foal address him with blatant suspicion. He appeared ready to answer the filly when Topaz came up and quickly gave him a hug, steering the conversation back to a proper greeting.
“It’s good to see you as well Shining.How’s Cadence?”
Oh! She’s uh.. good.” Shining nodded as if agreeing with his statement. He stayed silent as Topaz and I waited for him to enlighten us to Cadence’s health when he pointed at Cersus. “So, this is your foal?”
This earned him a ‘raspberry’(the act looks nothing like the fruit) from Cersus, while Topaz beamed with pride, nearly imitating Celestia’s namesake. I had to take a step back to take hold of my senses if I wanted to avoid mysteriously waking up in a strange place.
“Not by blood, but ours the same.” I looked to Cersus expecting her to make a comment, but found she had repositioned herself to hide underneath Topaz using her forelegs as cover. Whether this was to make up for her earlier remark or an act of genuine affection wasn’t clear, but her behavior diffused some of Shining’s apprehension of talking to the nymph.
“She uh, certainly takes after you…”
“Actually, she tends to take after Topaz to a larger extent than myself.” I felt the clarification was necessary to help clarify some of Cersus’s more pronounced traits.
“Right.” Shining seemed unsure as he shifted his gaze from Cersus to myself. “I thought she was from your family?”
“She’s his cousin’s foal from their grandparents side!” Topaz declared, nodding happily as she looked between Shining and myself. I was going to correct her about the agreed upon history for Cersus when she flicked me with a wing, the side Cersus’s book had struck. That was enough motivation to follow her lead.
“A lineage I still find hard to believe given her rebellious nature.” I heard (and felt) Cersus performing another raspberry, while Topaz’s scowl meant another lecture was in the future.
My friend took this in stride, and being a classic brony shifted the attention away from me by addressing our earlier fascination with the crowd outside.
“I’m really sorry, but perhaps we can continue this when we get back to the castle. Cadence and the crowd is waiting for us.”
“So that crowd is for us?” Topaz asked as she stole another glance at the window. .
“Your arrival is the biggest news in The Empire! Colonel Hooves…” He said looking at me, knowing my dislike for authority “ ...and family, the three of you can draw quite the crowd. “
His confirmation was revealing, but didn’t satisfy the curiosity of a single nymph. Topaz’s own irritation over my remark, and the thought ponies came to see us were forgotten the moment Cersus decided to take a peek from behind Topaz’s forelegs to ask her question.
“You have a castle?” the disguised nymph asked as she peered up to Shining Armor. His nervousness returned slightly as he responded.
“Uh, I do. You can see it from the window…” Shining tried moving toward it but stopped when Cersus asked another question he (or we) didn’t expect to be called out on.
“Where’s your crown?” Cersus huffed as she positioned herself in front of Shining, blocking his only route to the window without Topaz or I moving out of the way.
“Excuse me?”
“No crown, no title!”
Cersus yelled in a similar manner when she assumed her point was made. The source of this argumentative tactic was later traced to a pony lawyer that would yell loudly, when making a critical point in any of his cases. Topaz and I are still debating if this lawyer’s entertainment line of comics and board games would affect her development- law abiding or rebellious nymph.
“I can prove it!” Shining argued as he crouched low enough to properly meet Cersus eye to eye.
“Na uh!” She countered, puffing out the patch of fur on her barrel to appear more intimidating.
Officially, we’re still undecided but that might be more on Topaz than myself.
“I can prove it!” Shining declared as he stood up and pointed at the window. “And all we need to do is reach the castle.”
“Sounds fake.” Cersus flapped her wings irritably.
“You can have all the ice cream.” He teased, earning all of our interests in the process.
“DEAL!”
“Cersus, that doesn’t mean you can…” Topaz called out as she quickly followed the excited filly out the door and down the hall. I turned to Shining.
“Are you exaggerating?” He shook his head, smiling as he did so.
“NOPE! The Empire literally has snow covering the ground, but I wouldn’t eat that when you could get fresh snow just across the barrier.”
“But I assumed Ice cream was made with cream and salt, and not snow?” The mystery of its creation never appealed to me greatly until now, and Shining laughed at my nativity.
“What else would it be made from if not snow?”
I had no answer to combat his sound logic, and he knew it. Ice is in the name, and snow is but frozen water falling from the sky, while ice cream is frozen…
“Chunky Strawberry may be your favorite flavor, but you’ll be hard pressed to say that after having Crystal Berry Ice Cream.”
“Now I know you’re exaggerating.”
We both laughed as we took our exit.
The crowd was indeed for us.
We followed Shining Armor as he guided us off the train, and as we passed each car the scale of the crowd became clearer. What was perceived to be a gathering a distance away from our car became the amassing of an entire population on the edge of the train station, only held back by a mixture of armored guards, an auxiliary unit, and a single strand of rope.
This rope provided a physical boundary that could be seen, providing the guards the ability to establish a clear border of separation. While the ponies amassed on the other side of this boundary were loud, and excited none ever crossed this rope allowing the road from the station to the city center to remain open.
“Why would these ponies waste their day on us when their time could be better spent doing something more productive?” I asked Shining as the four of us waited on the platform as the driving team hitched themselves to the carriage once more.
“They’re a lot like you Idol, traditional and reserved.” The crowd joyously cheering, and yelling garbled words contraindicated that assessment, but I let it go figuring the act of correction wouldn’t achieve anything beyond the agreement to disagree.
Topaz stood next to me while Cersus hid underneath her, the heavy storm of positive emotions, and the former training to remain unnoticed affecting the nymph’s confidence. Cersus’ dress fit comfortably enough to prevent her from using the stitched fabric to hide herself, but Topaz realizing her discomfort dropped her wings to shield the nymph from prying eyes.
I tried doing my part by moving in front of Topaz to help with shielding Cersus, but for some reason that excited the crowd even more resulting in camera flashes going off.
“It’s the best shot they gotten of you so far Idol, plus your willingness to shield Topaz and Cersus might have resonated with the Crystal ponies.”
“Classic family dynamic.” Topaz stated. I looked back to her before turning to Shining who nodded this was correct.
“You got it. The newest Colonel not only fits their ideal of a perfect guard, but matches the role of a family stallion as well?” He left that statement open, but it wasn’t too difficult to figure out the implication.
“I’m becoming the poster pony Celestia said I would become.” I nearly shivered as I recalled more of that particular week. I saw another side of my dear princess I naively thought only existed in Luna and Cadence.
“And what’s wrong with that?” Shining asked as he lightly punched my shoulder.
I was about to inform my friend when Topaz did so for me.
“You’ve known Idol just as long as me. He’s not the pony to seek the spotlight.”
“The spotlight tends to seek me out.” I almost sighed, but managed to hold it back in order to keep the perceived image of my rank.
Shining Armor’s face fell lightly as he contemplated the matter at hoof, before turning to look at Topaz and Cersus.
“Dang. I guess this parade wasn’t a very good idea then.”
“You didn’t know, and were doing a good thing not for myself, but the citizens of The Empire.” I offered, turning to observe, and bask in all the positivity dancing in the air. “I’m still new to the rituals of being in ‘the spotlight’, but perhaps somepony will share some tips?”
“You got it pal.” He offered his hoof, to which I bumped said hoof while the cameras lit up once more. “Step one, be prepared to be put under scrutiny for everything.”
“Easy. Topaz has done that daily since we met, and I feel I’m more than ready for step two.”
“Idol!” Topaz harshly whispered, Shining and I turned to look when his eyes dropped to Cersus still doing her best to hide behind the offered wings.
“Will she be alright?” Shining asked, and I nodded.
“Cersus isn’t use to large, and unfamiliar crowds, but more accustomed to the familial traditions aligned to the Element of Honesty.”
“She was raised on an apple orchard?” Topaz and I put Shining in the spotlight for the comment, forcing him to retract the statement with a waning smile with some hoof waving.
“Alright! Alright! Jokes aside, I understand what you mean. I could cast a mild cloaking spell, you know, to reflect some of the attention away?” I looked to Topaz for confirmation given she would appreciate the offer.
“Please.” she didn’t hesitate to accept the offer.
“And...done.” the magic around his horn faded, but the charged air around us told me it was still here, just resting in the air like a pegasus on clouds.
The effect was immediate, suddenly the excitable crowd seemed a bit dimmer, and less impactful. Muted strings of words still reached us, but their original intent was lost in the mesh of the other similar strings colliding together to create this dulled noise in the backdrop of our conversations. It shifted the whole mood of our conversations after that to mimic the more personal times back in Canterlot where it would be our guard group patrolling the city streets.
“Better?”
“Very much, thank you.”
“Can they still see us Shining?” I asked, unwilling to move if it meant exposing Cersus to the crowd again.
“Partially. The spell would have worked better if I had cast it before we left the train, but they know we’re here.”
“We are here...” I pointed out, but stopped as I began understanding his logic.”...and they know it.”
“Exactly!”
“So did they spell work or not?” Topaz asked with a slight irritation in her voice.
“Yes, but no.” Shining Armor began explaining.” They know we’re still here which destroys the illusion, but the spell will still scatter their perception of us.”
“When we’re in Canterlot Market, and a pony moves in the crowd.” I started as I registered Topaz’s confusion. “They were always there, but we didn’t notice their presence until they moved. We are still here, unseen until we finally move.”
“Alright. I think I understand.” She looked down to see the top of Cersus’ head peeking from underneath her barrel. Her appearance was enough to cease our chat as we watched the young foal finally leave the safety that is Topaz.
Cersus poked her head out just enough to visually scan the immediate area, the sudden reduction of noise being enough to lure her out.
“I cast a perception spell, hopefully that will help.”
We would have continued observing Cersus’ reaction, but the smooth grinding of chariot wheels crushing the fine granite stole our eyes as the royal chariot began making a pass. The team trotted past us following the road as it looped in front of the station proper, the crowd cheering as it made a complete pass before finding its way back to us.
“It’s a tradition. The crystal ponies believe the first pass is meant to honor their former rulers, before accepting the current family.” Shining said, noting my intrigue of the display.
“And these rulers of old don’t actually ride with us?”
“What? Of course not.”
“What about our adventure through the undying city of ‘Ghostly Bend’? Didn’t a former undead follow us through our tour of the city before finally succumbing to the effects of employment?” I asked believing the details from that adventure might help us with possible ghost riders, but Shining didn’t.
“That was from a one-shot campaign Idol, and he wasn’t dead…”
“Formerly dead.”
“...right. Not dead.”
“Correct. He wasn’t dead at that time, because the necromancer had found his grave some weeks back.”
“Never mind. Point is, the tradition doesn’t summon spirits from beyond the mortal realm, but is a symbolic gesture of remembrance.” Shining ended this explanation by beckoning us toward the waiting chariot. “Mares, and foals first.”
I immediately turned to Topaz and Cersus. Topaz looked down at Cersus who noticed the looks and quickly sought shelter under the pegasus once more, but this was thwarted with a simple telekinesis spell I cast. The nymph squirmed as I dragged her from under Topaz, and into the open air where I fought her attempts to free herself.
“Idol stop it. You’re scaring her.” Topaz didn’t yell, but her tone was enough to get meaning across. I halted the relocation of Cersus to address this concern, and promptly set the struggling nymph down who immediately returned to the waiting pegasus.
“Unintentionally, but…” I turned to Shining who quickly diverted his attention away, by faking interest in the chariot’s colors. The driving team followed their prince's lead by taking interest in the sky leaving me alone to face the mythical dragon of Canterlot.
The chariot parading us down the main street to the large castle in the city center is a testament to these ponies’ hoofwork. The interior is not only spacious and can comfortably seat five fully armored guards, or two princesses of Celestia’s stature, but the entire ride has been smoother than the marble used to construct Canterlot Castle.
The six stallions pulling our cart, following tradition, did one full lap around the station before turning onto the main street, going slow enough that a foal could easily trot along us with little effort. I asked Shining about this, and his response left me more conflicted on what I was supposed to be doing. Do I keep eyes forward, or admit my own popularity and acknowledge the crowd with a wave?
I leaned up enough to observe how Topaz and Cersus were responding to the situation, and to my surprise found them laughing and waving back. Even as the four of us adjusted to the roaring energy of the crowd, which I can confirm is the entirety of the city’s population, my mood was far from positive.
“You’re not the first to lose a fight with their wife..er landlord/friend.” Shining tried reassuring me as he currently sat between Topaz and myself.
“I was under the wrong parental assumption it seemed.” I internally sighed as I watched the passing crowd, where I decided to offer a wave or two in kind.
“It’s a learning process for sure Idol. Take Cady and me, love each other dearly, but living together is very different from seeing each other.”
“How so? Wouldn’t the ability to constantly see a loved mate be the dream of every pony?” I asked, wondering if perhaps wedding a perceived mate brings changes besides sharing one's personal effects and time.
“Well...” he glanced toward Topaz before leaning closer to whisper it to me “... It's like food.”
“You eat Cady?” His fur mimicked that of Cadence’s fur in that moment, before sshhhhing me.
“Bad example! What I’m trying to ask is, could you live off of a single meal for the rest of your life? Nothing but that one meal?”
“I would happily eat honey until my final days.” I admitted, much to his surprise and disappointment.
“Forget it Idol. But the point is marriage is different than seeing somepony, it's a commitment to share your lives together- good and bad.”
“If any ponies in Equestria could perform this commitment, then it would be the two of you.”
“You still don’t get it, but thanks Idol.” we hoof bumped.
“Your gratitude is unneeded, but always accepted.” Shining nodded at that, before asking a question that caught me unprepared to answer.
“So, when is your wedding?”
“Please refrain from joking in such a manner Shining.” He looked taken back before lightly jabbing my shoulder.
“Funny Idol, but don’t let Cadence hear it. She’s still riding the emotions that come from being married…” He briefly looked at Topaz and Cersus whom were still caught up in the love and excitement, waving and shouting back to the crowd “...and she’s already looking to spreading that feeling.”
“The book?” I asked knowing in the deepest of my heart chambers the answer, to which he nodded.
“And take a guess which pony is at the very top?” I felt my heart ache having known the young princess for so many years, and even listened to some of her ‘lectures’. I needed to tread carefully.
“Princess Celestia.”
“You really do pay attention to her lectures after all.” I thanked Order for its mercy.
“I would admit some of them were rather interesting, especially when it's explained by a master of their craft.” Shining Armor looked thoughtful for a moment, and I used this time to wave to a few more ponies nearly jumping in place for my attention.
“You are something else Idol, but that book has been updated since.”
“Really?” The dread I felt was only kept back by all the love and positivity flooding the air.
“Every week, but now there’s a tie for first place…” his smile left me feeling none of the joy a smile was supposed to make one feel, but as my life would have it I wouldn’t learn of this tie until later.
On the verge of revealing the ponies at the top of Cadence’s list, a shrill cry came from the crowd loud enough to silence them for a single moment. The event after this silence would forever be remembered by not only the ponies involved, but would morph into an historical moment during what would become known as ‘The Idol Years’.
“Waffle Reiny!” a foal happily cried out, causing the surrounding spectators to take note and began their own observations with disastrous effect.
“Oh by the Crystal Heart! It is him!”
“Officer Friendly! He’s the Colonel!?”
“SAY THE LINE!” another screamed.
“MARRY ME!”
“PERIMETER BREACH WE CAN’T HO...!”
Maybe one day I will accept my fate being bound to a foal’s doll, but in the present time I feel no such pride as I wish for simpler times involving less adoration by those I serve. For now I’m left fighting off a large force of adults who vastly outnumber the foals vying to meet their favorite doll, wondering when the company even made life size dolls of Officer Friendly?
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🎵 Officer Friendly, get down on your knees ... 🎶 [West Side Story]
[* Knew he forgot something *]
you glossed over his disdain for trains in the first chapter.
I had literally just finished re-reading this 2 days ago because I had the overwhelming feeling that a new chapter would come out. Guess I was right in a way
10553878
I did and part of that was because I forgot, and the other part is because I feel like after ten years idol has finally learned they wont eat him.
10553933
I'm sorry for getting your hopes up like that, but I felt these revisions were desperatly needed after it was pointed out people were having trouble following along. After getting the first three chapters done and working on the other three I do feel it's less cluttered and easier to follow along.
By the end of next I should be finished with the other revisions, and it will be full steam ahead!
- typo for "queue".
- either "nopony but us were left" or "everypony but us had left".
- typo for "hooffull".
- missing "a".
- typo for "a foal".
- typo for "sat".
- probably a typo for "adoration". "Adornment" means "decoration".
10556230
You're very welcome! I appreciate your stories.
Not sure if this point will make sense since Shining already knows Idol is a changeling (in Changeling of the Guard)
Trollestia's latest work continues to pay dividends!
when Shining Armour is offering Cersus ice cream. It felt like he should have been talking about a snow cone instead. Just felt like it fit better in the conversation between him and Idol.
Loving this take on Idol and the aftermath of the wedding.
Wonder how close it will be to the main story line
11262452
That's actually not a bad idea, and I wished I came up with it first.
But this story was partly inspired by Vdrake, and we've chatted back and forth so I know what he intends to do with Idol, and what he doesn't so I don't take something he was going to do. So, you might see some parallels, but really this story shouldn't spoil anything.
I have the same feelings for Pregon Blackberry Cheesecake ice cream. So delicious.