• Member Since 18th May, 2020
  • offline last seen Jan 10th, 2022

myxx


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Rainbow Dash traveled for weeks in order to find Shadow Gardens, the place where Fluttershy was said to be brought to by the curse.

But when Rainbow Dash gets there, she realizes that Fluttershy's curse was not just a simple teleportation spell.

Fluttershy completely forgot who she really was!



HUMAN Fluttershy X Rainbow Dash fic.

My first fanfic ever, sorry if there are errors :fluttercry: :rainbowderp:

This story is on going :twilightsmile:

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 2 )

Okay, so this is a great premise but the execution needs work.

Right now it reads very hasty and list-like. Sort of “this happened, then this happens” etc. Fleshing it out could benefit the story. Like we need more of a build up, who was Crimson Shade? Maybe do an entire scene that shows us the events that lead to this and bringing out some smaller details, so it doesn’t read so choppy.

This is a great idea, I’d love to see it after some work done on it though.

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I wasn't really planning to focus on that part cause this story was supposed to focus on the events after the curse was made. But I'm gonna try to explain further when I edit this chapter or in another chapter. Thank you for your suggestion :twilightsmile:

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