Warmth in the D'oh‽

by SevenEyes

The last chapter (ish)

Sunset awoke, but then went instantly back to sleep. Saying “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

This woke up Apple Bloom, who was on the couch next to the flawed and floor-bedded couple that was SunShyne. The following is what the youngest apple posted on Twitter:

Yesterday was great!! We listened to Fluttershy play acoustic guitar with her multiple murder hands. Fluttershy was really killing the tune of ‘three blind mice’, but then suddenly broke down crying over the fact that potential rodents were visually impaired. This activated Rainbow's trap card, which was named ‘get out of jail free’. Therefore a now beardless Rainbow Dash left the apple house. Dash might have said something under her breath while leaving, something about getting more illegal healing juice from the 'local chippy', but who could tell really.

And because watching Fluttershy cry, for any length of time, would be way worse than prison. The five remaining non-crying humans tried to think of a way to comfort the sobby one.

“Um; there, there?”

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Sunset you’re making it worse, let granny handle this!” Applejack yelled over the wailing.

Granny stepped up to the crying girl with sympathetic eyes.

“DON’T!! CRY!!!”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooowwwwoooooo!” Shy responded, crying even more.

“Are you out of ideas?” Sunset asked the granny.

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“Well actions speak louder anyway.” Sunset stated, as she got up and latched onto her girlfriend in a full body hug. She held the shorter, crying woman's head to her chest. After just a few minutes the sobbs subsided.

"Sniff! Sniff?"

"Yes Shy, your Sunny is here. Now stop crying as fast as you can."

“As fast as I can?” The gradually more happy one relied.

“As fast as you can!” Confirmed the one consoling the gradually more happy one.

"Now I need to go get some fresh air for my little headache. Be back soonish."

"Wait!" Fluttershy got up and rushed to the door in front of her girlfriend. She opened it and stepped out taking a good breath of the crisp air then returned to Sunset. And started giving her mouth to mouth.

"Well played" Sunset gasped, As soon as she was released from the kiss of life.

Then all the girls present yawned causing them to look at Big Mac as if daring him to say something sexist.

He did not. He was wise like that. Instead he just pretended to yawn also as if he was in synchronisation with the group of females.

It was clearly time for bed.

"It's not time for bed," Granny Smith tried to reason, "why I haven't even opened any of my presents."

“Well it's just Christmas Eve so far, you know. A fact that we've only mentioned like nine hundred and ninety-nine times.” Reminded Applejack.

“I didn’t know you could count that high!” Apple Bloom explained, butting into the conversation.

“That's it, go immediately to sleep, right there on the couch.” Applejack ordered. When the command bounced off AB's deflector shields and hit the ‘happy’ couple of SunShyne on the floor, AJ decided to pull out the big guns. This was a pretty neat idea in fact. Especially as this idea was in the form of a swinging digital watch in front of AB’s face, so as to get behind her extended shields. “You are very sleepy...”

“I am very tired?” Bloom attempted to repeat.

“I said ‘sleepy’!”

“You said sleepy”

“What else did I say?”

“You are very sleepy...”

“Darn right I am, I’m so sleepy, I could eat a horse.”

Sunset turned over in her sleep. ”Bitch.” She murmured.

“Language.” Captain Applejack replied, to the sleep talking lady for some reason. Then turned back to her younger sibling. “SLEEP!!”

Apple Bloom began to fall asleep then asked, “Why thought?”

“Because Santa Claus isn’t real.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOO!!!” And with that, sleep found the youth. All tuckered out from the recent revelation.

This was the end of Apple Bloom’s tweet.

------------

Christmas day GO!

Christmas meant getting the heck out of the apple house with your girlfriend. But just as they opened the door they heard a knocking sound on Sunsets stomach. They looked down to see a sleepy kid in a Girl Scout’s uniform, half dozing off and tapping on what she thought was a door, but was actually a human with her tiny, tiny fist.

Thinking it would be funny Sunset got to the ground and played dead in response to the 'violence'. She realised when she was down there that Fluttershy might have to give her the kiss of life for a second time in two days. Hmmmmm. That would be cool.

Instead Fluttershy just got two sticks and started poking the seemingly deceased lady with it, while offering the other stick to the much younger lady. The little one refused, and slowly started to speak in an annoyingly high pitched voice.

"Um, do you mind buying some fresh Girl Scout cookies? If that's okay with you? The only purchase so far was from my mommie." She complained in an unnatural, screech of a voice.

This made Sunset stand back up so as to walk past the small merchant. Then turning back to retrieve Fluttershy and condescend the cookie seller saying, “You’re just a reverse trick-or-treater.”

At this harsh remark the Girl Scout cried a single mechanical tear. This caused the robot child to catch fire.

"Damn Sunset, did you just kill a kid?"

"It wasn't sentient, and not even close to sapient." Sunset smiled at Shy. "Trust me I know computers."

“Have you ever made one that can love?”

“What would be the point? Synthetic or organic, nothing could love like I love you!”

“Is that why all your girlfriend-bots ran away, and are a plague to the polar bears of the north?”

“What? How? I made them in total secret!”

Fluttershy just shrugged. “Bears talk to each other, through the winds.”

“Talk about a wind problem.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Yes but you’re MY wind problem.”

“I’m your favourite wind problem right?”

Fluttershy contemplated this for a long time as they both walked finally giving up, just saying,“I suppose...”

“Oh dear.”

“OH DEER!!”

“Um, it’s pronounced dear, my dear.” Sunset tried to correct her girlfriend.

Fluttershy turned Sunset’s head up to the sky.

“It’s a superman, it's a plane, no its bird.”

“Wrong on all counts.” Flutter said with a frown. “Can you seriously not see the parachuting, Disneyland costumed, stag?”

“Listen Shy, there is a whole aboveness, worth of above, up there.” Sunset pointed at the sky. “And what's more how would you even pull the parachute cord in a costume, the likes of which you just described?”

“Um the magic of Disney?”

“What up bitches?!” Yelled the newly landed stag.

“Well if it isn't my other ex?” Sunset rhetorically asked, looking on at Flash Sentry’s costumed body.

Fluttershy raised her hand high. “Oh, oh I can answer. Choose me!”

“Fluttershy I choose you!”

Fluttershy stood in front of Sunset and yelled, “Shy! Shy!” As intense battle music suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Flash released from his pocket a true monster. He got out a tiny violin. And played it! But nothing happened, as the battle music had already intensified and was playing over the small instrument.

Now it was Sunset’s turn. “Fluttershy use sing!”

But Fluttershy was loafing around (she was far too high a level for Sunset’s meagre ten badges. Flash saw this, and decided he wanted to have add a Shy to his collection, thus he threw a premier ball at her.

This got knocked back by Sunset, then it bounced around, and around, until it landed on Flash's forehead. Leaving a visible dent in the upper face of Flash who threw his head back in pain. But then he turned red, turned small, and entered the premier ball. Which wobbled weakly three times, then remained still.

Sunset looked to Shy. Fluttershy Simply took the premier ball, and put it in her backpack for Angel to play with. She smiled at her girlfriend. “Oh sunset, you planned this? Well now I’m just so super happy-face.”

Seeing the mad grin on her Pokemon of choice, Sunset also smiled. She went to say something, but was halted by Fluttershy placing a fist on her face.

“Hush now, quiet now.
It’s time to rest your egg-head.
Hush now, quiet now.
It’s time to have gay sex”

“Oh that’s me” Spoke up glasses Twilight. From somewhere. The SunShyne pair searched around for the interrupting girl.

They were interrupted from the search for the interruption girl, by Flash. He released himself from his backpack placed ball. “Was that my waifu?!”

Glasses Twilight answered Flash “Eww, straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaight!”

The Sentry, who strangely didn’t enjoy the fact he was in the minority, being straight as he was. He then ran off to find a guitar to cry with.

Sunset, who was looking in Fluttershy’s pockets, finally found the phone that was still in a call with glasses Twilight from yesterday! Noting this as something that would have to be solved later she ended the call and looked to her girl friend. “Well, if this hasn't been one long hearth's warming miracle I don’t know what is!

“LOL.” Was Fluttershy’s only cryptic reply as they walked off together. They didn’t know their destination, but isn't the mystery what makes life worthwhile?

Comments

[Krickis]

And it’s done! I think! This was a fun story, and extremely cool to see one of my fics parodied like this. I’ve enjoyed reading this every week, well done

[Hey its that Pony]

I feel like everyone involved in this story was drunk on something. The Author, the Characters, maybe the audience? I could get something to drink I guess...

Anyway, weird but fun read.

[SevenEyes]

10167155
Weird but fun was definitely what I was going for.
So that made me :)

It would be irrisponsible for me to drink while driving the story into the ground.
So that would be :/

The character list involves American teenagers, so drinking would be a no no (you may have noticed that all characters are most mature and responsible, regardless of age)
^-^

Getting drunk from reading horse words. Oh no my poor tiny audience.
:0