Chapter 3- To My Number One Fan
Rainbow had no trouble sleeping last night. It could have been due to a lessening of her anxiety concerning the Wonderbolts… or it could have been because of the extra, yet long awaited “exercise” between her and Mac. Twice in the shower, and one more time on her bed. It was everything she had hoped their first intimate night to be, certainly worth the wait in her mind.
Dash was exhausted, but in a good way. Sure she was a bit sore from her training yesterday, but she knew if she wanted to be a Wonderbolt, she would need to work through the stiffness and the sore muscles. She rolled over, facing Mac as one of his forelegs was still casually wrapped around her. She knew she could probably spare a few more minutes of comfort. She dug her cheek into his chest and began to drift back to sleep before a knock at her door denied her any additional rest.
Oh come on, Derpy! Your daughter's birthday can't be today and yesterday! she thought, grudgingly removing herself from her warm bed, assuming the mailmare had a delivery of some kind that couldn't be left in her mailbox.
Flinging the door open with an unamused glare, she found Fluttershy waiting outside. Her expression instantly softened, replaced by a curiosity for the nature of the visit.
"Fluttershy? What's up?" she yawned, inviting her in.
They sat down on the couch in her living room as Rainbow fought to keep her eyes open.
"Well, I thought about what you said yesterday, and I decided I'm going to go for it," she said with as much pride in herself as she could muster.
Rainbow smiled, she loved to see her foalhood friend happy, especially since she Dash couldn't recall a time when Fluttershy even had a coltfriend. In fact, she was probably still a virgin! Still, Rainbow was glad to see her buddy taking charge of her romantic life.
"That's awesome Fluttershy! Ready to tell me who the lucky stallion is yet?" Rainbow asked, shifting on the couch to a more comfortable position.
"Uhm... I was thinking I'd wait till I knew how he felt before I named any names," she admitted.
A stirring from her room reminded Dash that their conversation had roused a sleeping stallion, ready to head back to the farm to start his chores. Macintosh wandered down the long hallway into the living room where he had heard the voices of other mares.
"Mornin' Ms. Fluttershy," he said cordially, his yoke already on and ready to be hitched to a plow.
The timid pegasus' cheeks flushed bright red as AJ's brother turned to the half asleep Rainbow on the cloud couch beside her.
"Ya'll want anythin' for breakfast?" he asked.
"Uhm... no thanks, I have to get going!" Fluttershy said quickly before fleeing the house as though she'd just seen a manticore.
After a brief silence, Rainbow asked "What do you think that was about?"
"Couldn't tell ya," Mac said, turning back to the kitchen.
Fluttershy zipped back to her cottage faster than she had ever flown before. She was certainly not expecting to see her crush at Rainbow's house so early! She had gone early to avoid any other ponies.
I wonder what he was doing there so early? she thought naively. Maybe she still owed them some bits for the windows?
Still, she would make Rainbow proud, and tell Mac just how she felt! She just needed some time to compose herself for such a big announcement, even if it was to one pony. It just may take a week. Or two.
Rainbow had that day off, thankfully. More time for her to practice, and sharpen her routine. Mac had left to start on his chores, but mentioned he would stop back by to watch her practice. A full twelve hour session left her quite hungry, with only a short lunch break to tide her over. Macintosh appeared below her house as she settled near him, but not before executing a perfect stall into a double roll.
"Lookin' good, Dashie," Mac teased.
Rainbow raised an eyebrow, "I better not catch that name come out of your mouth again."
"Pinkie Pie came by the farm today. Needed more apples for Sugar Cube Corner." He grinned, "She stayed and had a little chat about some nicknames she has for her friends."
"You heard what I said. I better not hear Dashie come across those lips again," she threatened.
"Oh yeah? Or what?"
Rainbow grinned, she knew exactly what kind of ransom would stop Mac in his tracks. "See this?" she asked, waving a foreleg over herself.
"It's off limits if I hear that name again."
Mac smiled, "Fair 'nuff, no need to get drastic. So what have you been workin' on?"
"Check it out!" she called taking flight and starting her routine.
Macintosh watched as the object of his affection danced gracefully on the winds. Back in Prairieville, he wasn't sure what exactly attracted him to her in the first place, but as time went on, he thought he realized why he felt the way he did about her. It was her unbridled passion for the air. It was similar to how he felt about the farm. He was proud of it, and it was his life, just as flying was Rainbow's.
He loved the way her eyes shined like Luna's full moon when she was in the sky. He wished he could fly with her, to soar among the clouds like she did, right beside her. However, he knew his limitations as an earth pony. He'd give the very strength his father bestowed upon him to be in Rainbow's element, to fly with her, and be with her always, be it in the heavens, or on the earth.
Once she finished her routine, she landed next to him softly. "Well?" she panted. "Whaddya think?"
"Ah think the Wonderbolts won't know what hit them," he assured her.
Rainbow stepped closer to him, nuzzling his chest. Even though he was still sweaty from the fields, she didn't mind. In fact, that was one of the things she liked about him. He wasn't afraid to get his hooves dirty.
"Well, ya still got a few weeks ta train. Think you can improve what you got so far?" Mac asked, returning her affection.
"If you think it's perfect now, wait till I make the squad," she shot back confidently.
"You know... Applejack probably wouldn't wonder where I am for another... hour or so." He smiled deviously.
"Is that right?" Rainbow asked, taking his hint. "Well, the house is right there... and you're still dirty from the fields aren't ya?"
"Eeyup. And Ah still got some of that special juice that lets me visit your house without fallin' through th' floor."
"Well, I suppose I could let you shower up at my place... but I'm running low on rainclouds, so we'll have to share."
Mac smiled, "It wasn't a problem last time."
As if on queue, Rainbow's stomach growled loudly, ruining the moment entirely, much to Mac's amusement.
"I'm gonna need you to take care of that."
"Now Ah gotta feed ya too?"
Dash grinned. "Eeyup."
The two weeks seemed to pass too quickly for Rainbow. Every day she practiced, and every day drew her nearer to the start of tryouts. Her form was perfect, her moves were precise, Dash could think of nothing else she could improve upon! She was the fastest flier in Equestria, after all. The only pegasus ever to attempt and perform a sonic rainboom. What did she have to worry about?
Still, the lump in her throat didn't care how confident she acted, it refused to retreat. The rest of her friends gathered outside Sugarcube Corner, just after her good luck party. It turned out the tryouts were invite only. Apparently the Wonderbolts had more than their share of secrets to their performances. Dash had even heard the new recruits have to sign contracts pledging not to reveal any and all secret techniques or maneuvers under penalty of death. Some of that was probably exaggeration, but still, they clearly meant business.
"We know you'll come back a Wonderbolt, Sugarcube!" Applejack chimed happily.
Rainbow blushed. Sure, she loved unending praise as much as the next pegasus (false, loved it more), but she had heard everything they were saying a million times before.
"Yeah," she agreed, "I'm sorry you guys couldn't come with, but I'm glad you could all see me off."
"We wouldn't miss it Dashie! Just wait until you try your victory cake! Who do you think would taste better as a cake, Spitfire or Soarin?" Pinkie asked, bouncing happily around the group.
"Surprise me," Dash answered.
After a brief silence, Twilight spoke up "Well, good luck Rainbow! When will you be coming back?"
"I'll be back late tomorrow night." she replied, "The tryouts last a week, starting at five a.m. and ending at seven."
"Five a.m.? My word, with the commute to Cloudsdale, that doesn't leave you much time for anything else," Rarity commented, knowing if anypony valued sleep as much as she did, it was Rainbow.
"Yeah, but it's cool, I didn't have any more vacation days, so I just quit my job," she answered with the same inflection one would use to respond to a 'hello' on the street.
"You what?!" they gasped in unison.
Rainbow cast them a look of confusion. "What's the big deal? I won't need to buck clouds anymore when I'm a Wonderbolt!"
The rest of her friends didn't want to rain on her confidence parade, but...
"Well... have ya ever considered what you'd do if... fer some reason... ya... uh... didn't make it?" Applejack asked quietly, trying to get her sometimes single minded pal to see the other side of the coin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dash shot back indignantly.
"Rainbow, she didn't mean it like that, it's just... it probably would have been a better idea to wait until you knew you made the team to quit your job," Twilight explained, stepping towards her.
Rainbow's confidence bordered on arrogance as she assured her friends she knew what she was doing. The sun began to set on what could have been Dash's final day in Ponyville as a non-Wonderbolt. She hugged every one of her friends goodbye, as she would be out of town before any of them (save Applejack) would be awake. A quick flight back to her place put her back on the porch, collecting the mail that had been delivered on time that day.
Just more junk mail and bills, though a silver lining in the daily mail, her newest issue of Stunt Flyers Monthly had arrived.
Spitfire and Soarin stared confidently back at her from the cover, both mid flight in their uniforms with the rest of the Wonderbolts flying in formation behind them. The header screamed: The Wonderbolts are ready for new recruits! Do YOU have what it takes to rule the skies?
Rainbow smiled, flicking between the deep green eyes of Soarin, the captain of squad one, and the fiery intensity of Spitfire's amber orbs, the captain of squad alpha. Why they chose the designations that way, she hadn't the slightest, but would be sure to ask them the next morning.
Stepping inside her darkened house, she noticed something was amiss. The blanket she usually kept on the couch was now on the floor, as if someone, or something had been sleeping on it. A soft rustle from her bedroom drew her attention. Her ears were now standing straight out, sensitive to any out of place noise. Slowly, she began to walk towards her room, swearing if Macintosh was trying to surprise her again, he'd have to do better than this!
Rainbow paused right outside her bedroom door, listening intently to any sounds coming from beyond. She heard nothing for a minute, then flung her door open, an accusing hoof pointed at where she believed the intruder to be.
"Gotcha ya big red... Scootaloo?"
The orange filly nearly jumped out of her skin when her hero had burst through the door. Rainbow had walked in on her seated in front of the mirror, in a black leather coat Dash recognized as her old Junior Speedsters jacket.
"OhmygoshI'msosorryRainbowIdidn'tmeanto—"
"Slow down squirt," Rainbow said calmly, trotting over to her bed and laying on it. Her calm tone put the young filly at ease, relived to not be in trouble with her idol.
"Do your parents* know you're here?"
Scootaloo looked away in shame, "Not exactly... they think I'm with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle at the clubhouse..."
Lying to your folks to go hang with somepony your parents didn't want you around... she's more like me than I thought.
Rainbow knew Scootaloo's folks didn't exactly like her. Despite having saved the entire kingdom on more than one occasion, and even personally rescued their daughter from a few harrowing situations, some ponies just couldn't be reasoned with, no matter how many times you save their sorry flanks, indirectly or otherwise.
"So what are you doing here?"
"I heard you were leaving for Wonderbolts tryouts tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you good luck, but you weren't home and your door was unlocked. I wanted to tell you at your party, but my parents wouldn't let me go," Scootaloo lamented. She supposed they meant well, but their overprotectiveness got old rather quickly.
Rainbow smiled warmly from her bed, turning over on her side to face the young filly still clad in her jacket, propping her head up on her hoof.
"Thanks Scoots, that means a lot." Annoying as she could be sometimes, deep down, Rainbow was glad to have somepony who had confidence in her abilities, even when she wasn't so sure.
"Wait a second, you can't fly yet!" Dash recalled, "How did you even make it up here?"
Scootaloo shot her a confused stare, "You know you have a rope ladder hanging off your house, right?"
"Ah, right. I see you like my old jacket."
Scootaloo quickly removed it, forgetting she had been posing in the mirror with it before she was surprised.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to go through your stuff, I just saw it in your closet and-"
"It's okay, kid, I'm not mad at you," Dash assured, hovering over to her, and putting it back over her shoulders.
"It looks good on you," Rainbow complimented as they looked at each other in the mirror.
"You think so?"
"Eeyup." It appeared as though Mac's mannerisms were beginning to rub off on her. More than a little embarrassed at letting that slip, she decided somepony else might make better use of her old jacket than it would collecting dust in her closet.
"I want you to have it."
Scootaloo gasped, turning to face Dash. "You... you mean it?"
"I sure do. The Junior Speedsters was the first squad I ever tried out for."
"You made the team on your first try?"
"That's right, and when you go to flight school, you'll have the same chance!" Dash added.
Scootaloo's expression dropped significantly. It appeared as though Rainbow had struck a nerve.
"What's the matter?" Dash asked in a motherly tone.
"Well... my parents aren't sure if they can afford to send me to flight school in Cloudsdale."
Rainbow was horrified. How could Scootaloo call herself a pegasus without having at least attempted flight school?
"You... can't afford it?" Dash started, "But they provide everything for you, what... how could you not..."
Tears began to well in the once bright eyes of the young pegasus. Rainbow ceased questioning her immediately and instead set about improving her mood.
"Hey now, there's no crying in this cloud house," she whispered comfortingly, drawing Scootaloo in for a hug.
"If your folks can't afford to send you to learn to fly the right way, then I'll teach you."
The teary eyed filly's mood shifted in an instant. "You will?!"
"You bet, as soon as you're old enough, we'll start."
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Rainbow!" she shouted, going in for another hug.
"No problem kid, but I need to get you home so I can get some rest," Dash said, walking her to her front door and stepping outside into the crisp night air.
"Hop on, I'll give you a lift." she said kneeling in front of her.
"Everypony at school is gonna be so jealous of my new jacket!" Scootaloo chirped happily, hopping onto Rainbow's back.
Rainbow smiled, making sure her cargo was secure before taking off into the sky.
A short trip over Ponyville brought her to the few neighborhoods the small town had.
"Um... Rainbow?" Scootaloo asked, "Do you think you could drop me off a few blocks away, so my folks will think I was where I said I would be?"
"Sure kid, I'll cover for ya," she responded, landing a few houses away from where she was told Scootaloo lived.
"Thanks for the jacket! I'm never taking it off!"
Dash grinned as her number one fan bid her goodbye and took off down the street to her house.
Rainbow flew back to her home, entering quickly and staring longingly at her bed.
Not yet, she thought going to her nightstand and preparing for a ritual she performed before every contest, or competion, whenever she faced a challenge. She did it before she tried out for the Junior Speedsters, and before the Best Young Fliers competition. Now she would do it before the Wonderbolts tryouts. She removed from the nightstand a worn, gold locket on a thin chain. Dash set it on the bed, rubbing a hoof across its weathered surface.
"Hey Dad... tomorrow's the big day." She smiled, as though it was going to say something back to her. Pressing the small latch on the side, the locket opened to reveal a small photograph. Inside was a tall, deep blue pegasus stallion with a steel mane, a foreleg around a beautiful mare with a cyan coat and magenta mane and rose colored eyes. Her mother lived in Cloudsdale, but her father... he had died when she was just a filly. It was an accident; nopony was to blame. No pegasi would ever willingly enter a thunderstorm, but as an instructor at the flight school, he was responsible for his students, even the foolhardiest among them.
One had flown into a developing thunderstorm on a dare, and so it was her father, the only one brave or foolish enough to go in after him. Unfortunately, neither made it out alive.
Why?! Dash would cry, nights after her fathers passing. Why couldn't Cloudy's dad have gone in to get him! It was his stupid kid's fault my dad is dead!
Tears began to flow down her face as she recalled the nights she and her mother would cry, holding each other until morning. Her father supported her in everything she did, and even took her to her first Wonderbolts show. He knew how much this meant to her, and she always made it a point to talk to him before a big event.
"I know you'll be right beside me," she whimpered, glad nopony was here to see her at her most vulnerable. She flipped the locket over, revealing an inscription, in a language Rainbow wasn't entirely certain her father didn't just make up.
Illegitimi non carborundum
Nonsense... she thought, feeling the raised letters of the inscription. Still, a longing in her heart demanded to know what it said. Unfortunately, not even the learn'd Twilight Sparkle and her library treehouse could decode it. The language, as well as its creators seemed to be lost to time.
Rainbow lay herself onto her bed, draping the locket around her neck, resting it on her heart, simply to feel closer to her father.
"I'll make you proud, dad. I swear..." she yawned, tears finally drying as she fell into an easy sleep.
What was that about her parents? Scootaloo's, that is.
638004 Rainbow has never met them, but she's heard from Scoots that they don't like her hanging out with RD.
SIR
YOU MUST SPEW OUT MORE CHAPTERS SOON :D
Illegitimi non carborundum... Do Not Wear You Down? Ok I'm sure the real translation is better than that. Great chapter
Hah, Fluttershy seems to be a little bit dense there.
Don't lose that confidence Dash!
Huh, a mysterious locket from Dash's father, interesting.
638050
Don't let the bastards grind you down
This chapter was great, A lot of setup and a lot of feels. Love your stories and eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
638065
That makes more sense, and it is a good rule to live by
What about Scootaloo's parents? Are they dead or is her dad?
OK, great story so far, yet I have one issue: Fluttershy.
I mean, I still don't understand why add that kind of conflict, especially one that seems to be so... japanese like (I remember love stories from animes always having those types of misunderstandings, and I always found them annoying as heck), is this going to be an important plot element? Or will it stay as a side story?
im not sure how i feel about this chapter. if feels like its all gonna come crashing down soon, very soon
Nice Latin joke. Took me a few minutes to figure out. Her father = Wise.
im pretty sure Illegitimi non carborundum means "Don't let the bastards grind you down".
But you know whatever. Thats just my two cents
Great chapter as always. Take a mustache and write MOAR!
A fanfic where both of Scootaloo's parents are alive! Inconceivable!
Poor Fluttershy. Girl doesn't seem like the brightest bulb here and it's just gonna break her heart when she finds out the truth.
Rainbow Dash being dumb enough to up and quit her job because she thinks she's a shoe in for the Wonderbolts. Yeah I can totally see her doing that.
And the final scene with her and the locket was excellent and so sad.
Setting up disaster I see... Is overconfidence going to be RD's fatal flaw?
Just one thing. I can't tell if this is intentional or not.
"Yeah," she agreed, "I'm sorry you guys couldn't come with, but I'm glad you could all see me off."
By the way, congratz on feature box!
'With her now coltfriend Big Macintosh'
...
i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm227/ciaosushi/tumblr_lmhwmhfzpA1qkkljxo1_400.gif
Gettingoutnowbeforeitistoolate.jpg
638061
static.fimfiction.net/images/story_images/23313.png?1335630762
SEE! I told ya'llz dem humiez wuz real! PROOF, PROOF!
638320 It's a sequel to a story in which their ship has been established.
638334
*shrug*
I just don't do crack pairs, honestly, at all.
Either SelfxPony or a pair that could actually happen - like MacintoshxCheerilee or SpikexRarity - is my biz.
No offense, I just, uh.. can't really take a story seriously with odd pairs.
638065 I swear that motto comes from the old sitcom Porridge, though it wasn't in Latin there. (and only made a very brief appearance in the finale).
"Sure she was a bit sore from her training yesterday, but she knew if she wanted to be a Wonderbolt..."
Sure Dashie, the training made you sore. It couldn't possibly have been that stallion that's three times bigger than you.
638281 While technically it isn't the best grammar, it IS commonly used in speech, so I don't have a problem with it.
hey you i like this versoin of rainbow dash's parnets much better then others THEY COULD HAVE ACTUALY MADE SOME ONE LIKE RAINBOW but why is her mane and tail rainbow any way WHY DO I THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT DONT MATTER. lol
Any WAY great chapter as always
607172
Are you kidding? Once a week is an amazing speed for chapters of this length!
638360
Try the first story, it's pretty good. If you don't like it, no need to come back
Definitely not my favorite pairing, but I thought it was pretty well developed.
I'm seeing some foreshadowing with the locket inscription.
I came for the picture.
Then left to go read the first story. XD
So..... much.... foreshadowing... AWESOME!
Anyway, good job as usual.
i... just... this is wonderful in so many ways you deserve an award for your stories
Muy buena su historia, esperemos las actualizaciones XD
638050 My translator gives me: "Don't let the bastards grind you down"
Excellent, excellent chapter! I always forget about the weekly update thing, but it makes me smile whenever I see it in my inbox, so
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/dragonvale/images/e/e0/14381-fluttershy-yay.jpg
Once again, I loved it
And sure Dash, it was the training that made you sore. Not a certain stallion...
Also, "Illegitimi non carborundum." Hmmm... *Googles saying* Lol
One mistake I saw: as thought she'd just seen a manticore - though, not thought
Wonderful chapter overall - the more I read the less I want to stop reading... And I didn't want to stop reading the moment I started
The previous story caught me up so much that I finished it in one go (damn you, made me go to sleep at 3am and had to wake up to work at 7am... but totally worth it!) and this one does the same to me except well, gotta wait for the chapters lol.
Keep 'em coming, I know it's going to be brilliant!
That love triangle is sure going to be very interesting
Great chapter and i love the d'aaw!
keep up the awesome work!
"Don't let the bastards grind you down." If that's the actual translation as others have said, then dang, I got something to add to my list of sayings and quotes.
Man, good chapter. I'm a bit surprised that Dash quit her job, though. Even as confident as she is you'd think that'd be a bit much even for her. Ah well, it's not really out of character, just a bit jolting. Then again, if it sets up some interesting conflicts later, then
I likes me this story. Keep up the good work, sir.
"Fluttershy? What's up?" she yawned, inviting her in. "And how the hell did you knock on a cloud?"
/fixed
Great stuff. I see at least three possible main plot threads this can go down, and I'm looking forward to seeing which one pans out. Personally, I love red herring plot threads, so long as they're coherent.
638360
What? This isn't a crack ship. Something like Philomena x Flam, or Cherrilee x Iron Will, that's a crack ship.
641572
Crack ships are 'a romantic pairing (whether it be from a video game, movie, book, etc) that is completely implausible and/or bizarre', and thus, MacxDash is a crack pairing, because it is not likely to ever happen, ever. Not only is Rainbow Dash's personality pretty much the FARTHEST you can get from Big Macintosh's without the character being evil, the plausibility of Dash even considering a pony that can't fly is low. SoarinxDash or CheerileexMac are more realistic.
Cheerilee and Iron Will? WORSE, but still a crack pairing as well.
641935 If you want to talk implausible, I'd wager the show will probably never get into any ships, due to the target audience. The entire genre of shipping is technically non-canon. Even at the end of Hearts and Hooves day, there was never any evidence indicating Mac and Cheerilee would have continued a relationship.
However, an unusual pairing is fun to write, because the challenge lies in making the relarionship (how it started, where it could end up) develop in a believable way. Thats half the reason I chose MacDash, was to challenge myself. That and there was a lack of that ship in the fandom.
638075 heh, it's practically my motto.
642620 Actually, LF posted on her Deviant Art that the show was aimed at adult males just as much as young females, but I get your point.
This was great. I was like Oh Sh.. oh wait Fluttershy doesn't get it haven't crossed that bridge yet. Also got a bit of a mystery here this just keeps getting better and better.
"preparing for a ritual she performed before every contest"
I don't know why, but I expected this to go something like this:
Rainbow Dash pulled out a knife and cut a small wound on the front of her hoof. She then placed her slightly wounded hoof on her bedside table and drew a pentagram with her own blood. She opened a drawer and placed a bowl on top of the table so that it stood exactly in the middle of the pentagram. The Pegasus then picked up the knife again and cut a deeper wound in the same hoof she had previously used to draw the symbol on the table, showing no signs of pain. She allowed the blood to flow into the bowl for a few minutes until it was nearly half-full. She then went back to her drawer and picked up 6 bones from an unspoiled, righteous mortal and threw them all into the bowl of blood. She lit a match and threw it in, symbolically representing her burning love for her master. Rainbow Dash then repeated the chant "Tartara erit me liberum, Tartara faciet me fortis," six times while walking into six circles. Her surroundings started shaking and her voice deepened with every repetition. At the end of the ritual, she stopped right in her tracks. "I'm ready." Rainbow Dash said, now convinced that she had the power of Tartarus on her side.
646006 ...so thats how the demons of the pits escaped and made us all slaves...DAMN YOU RAINBOW DASH!!!
Hey Bronius Maximus! Seen you around fanfiction.net too. I'm Love My Writing Or Else/SkyblazeGenesis. I think that your writing has really improved ever since Home on the Range, although there were a few parts in the story when the chapter seemed rushed. No worries, right now is exam period - I'm impressed with anyone who can actually have time to write right now. Seriously. Anyways, great job, and the Fluttershy part is definitely making the story impressive. The tryouts, but the not actually getting inducted, was a clever move on your part. BTW, I'm not actually a guy I'm a girl, so I just wanna say is the best pony. XD
I also really love Rainbow's character as you see it. She's brash, but also scared of failing, misses ponies who are really close to her, such as family, and cares about her friends and has a maternal instinct (Scootaloo). Really, the depth of character is very well done. I also like how well in depth you went with Big Mac, considering he is not a main character in the show. His character is easier to shape, but more difficult to spew ideas into. He's hard-working, and he doesn't seem to connect very well with ponies that don't quite match up with him. He's different, but that also makes him unique. He's also a lot cheesier than I thought and has a good sense of humor. In other words, the perfect boyfriend. And don't make me get into THAT rant again.
The amount of detail seems fair. Plot is nicely done, a strong skeletal system for the body of the story. Careful for drag somewhere in the middle of the story, K?
~Muffinz
642620
Yep, that's true. But we see stuff implied clear as day - maybe they won't ever happen in the show, but it could, couldn't it?
It's just that I don't really 'see' Dash and Mac hooking up, whereas RariSpike and CheeriMac have been clearly implied as 'close', if not a real relationship. I guess if some of the events of your prequel fic actually happened it could transpire off-scene, though. We're really not gonna know what exactly could be plausible until the (sad) day the show finally ends. Then, based off of events throughout the entire series, we'd be able to tell. For now, I won't judge, I suppose. After all, I do clopfics - so who am I to talk? Clop-bronies aren't really accepted anyways.
660777
I've been all around the twisted hell-scape that is the internet, and seen all kinds of freaky shit, and weird turn ons. Clopping is relatively harmless imo. I love and tolerate those who do things differently than I. Also I've seen clopfics get featured before, so its not like cloppers are the pariahs of bronydom. at least not to me!
661670
Yep, scat 'n futa ( Futashy, god forbid ) 'n guro 'n other weird shit like that.. I know whatcha mean.
But, eh, I've seen cloppers treated badly and deemed 'not bronies' by those who only watch the show for fun.
BUT, that's just me ranting again! I've got periods of madness where I take shit out on people who don't quite deserve it
As people who read my stories and blogs know by now, I'm quite an asshole sometimes ~
661700 Life isn't fun if you can't be an asshole sometimes!
661709
Well, there's being an asshole and there's stretching your asshole.
We of the Internet prefer being the former.
Though.. as we know, goatse exists.
When is Fluttershy going to find out that Big Mac is taken? When is RD going to find out how her friend feels about her boyfriend?
Please let us know soon?