Mission: Improbable

by The card holder

The Spy-Train has no Brakes

Getting on the train was easy, since there were no guards checking for imposters or invisible people. Soon after the train started moving, the Spy noticed that he wasn't the only one who wasn't supposed to be there. In one of the train cars, nearly every seat was taken. Both doors were locked, forcing the Spy to climb up top and hang over the side, to look into one of the windows. It was dangerous as hell, but the French saboteur was no stranger to severe disregard for life and limb.

After getting in position, he can see that every single one of the ponies in this car were changelings, one of which happened to be the queen herself. They seemed to be discussing something, but he couldn't hear what they were saying, due to the wind rushing past his ears. Still, confirmation that there were changelings on board was all he really needed to know.

Now there was the problem of getting back to safer ground.

Pulling himself up wasn't an option, as he lacked the strength to do it while moving at high speeds on the side of a train. So the Spy settled on shimmying to the side, to get his feet back onto the platform just outside the car. Now that he wasn't in mortal danger anymore, he decided to try and pick the lock to the door of the changeling-filled car. With any luck, he might be able to thwart this invasion before it even happens.

He didn't have any lockpicks on him (there were practically no use for them as a hired mercenary for Reliable Excavation Demolition), so he had to use his knife to pick the lock. It was difficult, to say the least; the knife was almost twice as big as the lock on the door, and he had to try to stay quiet, so the changelings inside don't hear his efforts. They probably still think he's dead, and he'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Suddenly, the train entered a tunnel, reducing his vision to zero. Muttering a few choice words, the Spy fumbles blindly to the side of the platform, in case any ponies try to come through while he has no eye-sight.

Almost as soon as his eyes finally adjusted to the dark, the train leaves the tunnel, blinding him in the sunlight. Today just wasn't his day.

Once he could open his eyes without burning his retina, the Spy saw that they weren't that far from Canterlot. Disembarking could pose a problem, he figured, what with the huge crowds of ponies going both too and from the train. He figured he could just disguise and blend in, while discreetly following the disguised changelings. The only problem with that plan was the fact that he didn't know who the changelings would disguise as. Still, it was better than nothing.

However, moments before the train stopped at the Canterlot station, a new, simpler plan occurred to the Spy. Before the train was fully stopped, he jumped off, still cloaked, and climbed up a pole, allowing him a decent vantage point while keeping him away from accidentally bumping into anyone and revealing his cloaked form. As he waited, he kept his eyes on the changelings' car. Whoever came out of that, he would follow, namely the one that looked the most important, who he guessed would be the queen.

After a few minutes of waiting, all of the train cars were emptied. Amidst the confusion, the Spy nearly missed the tall pegasus leaving the changeling car. Applying the disguise of a certain green unicorn's roommate, he uncloaks in a back alley and blends into the crowd. Spotting the same white pegasus, he discreetly follows her into the city of Canterlot.

---

"Scout, what in Sam Hill are you doin'?"

"What, ya never seen a man bring a pan to a gunfight before?"

"...No, actually. What I'm wonderin' is, why you gonna use that against them robots?"

"It's gotten too easy, lately, you know? Besides, I wanna see what happens when I fully upgrade this bad boy."

"...You upgraded... a frying pan?"

"Yep."

"To swing faster?"

"Uh-huh."

"...I have nothing to say to that."

"In that case, let's go, let's go, let's go!"

150 seconds later...

"Here they come! Destroy those robots!"

"Ah hell, we got a tank!"

"Watch and learn, people! This is how Scout takes down a tank!"

"That's a really bad idea, Sco-"

*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*

Comments

[The card holder]

Short chapter.
Blaaaah.

[Musleblast]

Pan vs. Tank

...

Why do I feel that a huge shitstorm will result from this?

Also...

NOT first. (Cause saying that I am first would be a fail.)

[StyrofoamPie]

That could be the most annoying tank battle ever.

[CIA]

The logic of upgrading a frying pan Is unbearably funny

[Totoro]

Twilight is a bloody spy!

[Dleifragcat]

My best combo weapon against a tank? Soldier at 1 hp with a fully upgraded Equalizer.
RAGE-SWING!!

[wariyoshi]

1469195 I was juuust about to nuke your city because you haven't updated, then I saw the chapter, sooo...you're spared. For another 39.6 seconds. Write faster.

[radiation_pony]

1469254 SAM wise gange FTW the hobbit has a short sword but goes into battle with a frying pan

[blazikenking]

Scout's fully upgraded Frying Pan vs Tank. This has gotten rather silly.

[Zervziel]

The actual story part is getting smaller and smaller. Lengthen them up a bit! I'd rather see what's going on in Canterlot than hear the Red Team's shenanigans in MvM

[The card holder]

1469812
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pissed-off-tobey-maguire-meme.jpg

Human master race

[Perception Filter]

Frying pan is the best weapon motherfuckers.

[henke37]

You are slipping with the tense, watch it.

[anyone675]

1469195 MY FUCKING EARS!!!!!!!!!!! *his head explodes* (Frying pan is deadly to u)

[Paladin Redflare]

Retro Lancer is better weapon/Chainsword.

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

[DeltaΔ]

1469239
It should be noted, that, I watched a friend of mine jump on to the tank and attempted to kill it as a scout.
... he succeded... he had the help of 4 heavy's but still.

[NecromancerX69]

I declare my self guilty of doing the pan upgrade... With demoknight...

Demopan anyone!

[Starscape]

1478500

Let me present why he didn't use the fish.

First of all, h-*CLANG*

[The card holder]

1479860
Possibly. By which I mean "it wasn't intended to be, but if you see it that way, sure, why not".

[Mazamis]

1469252 its all about the heavy's brass knuckles with full attack speed fighting a tank

[Mr Jelly]

that is the way to kill a tank

[sgtnolisten]

1469239 Shit storm? I want to go try that myself!

[Broken Record]

1469195
Don't worry. It was entertaining. You will be spared. THIS TIME
Keep Writing.

[I Brained My Damage]

1471720
I do that all the time when someone high-fives me or does a taunt kill near me: just hit my key bound to kill.
1477793
I used to have the full demopan set... Those were the good ol' days...

[WorldWalker128]

1469239
Think happy thoughts!

[Thyfoe]

*CLANG*

[Fire__Wolf]

*CLANG*

[Pinklestia]

1471720

Awesome!

[Sir Crabington]

A Frying Pan, the most deadly of Military Weaponry. It was banned in over 70+ states you know!

[Night_Flicker]

*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG* X10000

[Warrior Kitten]

You just joined a x10 Server.

*CLANG*

[Derpy_DragonV1]

Reminds me of the time I joined a 2fort server filled with killing gloves of boxing heavies, and the first thing I hear is a

POMFP

followed by the screams of a scout dieing.