• Published 20th Aug 2012
  • 14,004 Views, 633 Comments

Mission: Improbable - The card holder



A certain handsome rogue lives in plain sight in Equestria, with no one the wiser.

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Changeling Chasing in Canterlot

Following the disguised Chrysalis started off easy enough for the Spy. Soon, however, he lost sight of her amidst the crowds. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn't tell which pony was a disguised changeling; it seems that he had killed off all the ones bad at hiding.

Merde...

Still, he had an idea about where she would go. The castle, namely wherever Celestia was. Getting the castle in sight, the Spy set off on his brief quest to stop a changeling revolu-

"Bon-Bon? Is that you?"

The Spy mentally cursed his luck. Of course he would run into the one pony who would recognize Bon-Bon in Canterlot. Turning, he came face to face with a gray earth pony mare with a treble cleft on her flank; Octavia, if he remembered correctly. He had seen her around Ponyville occasionally, but she didn't seem to stay that often.

"It is you! Tell me, how has Lyra been?"

In retrospect, Bon-Bon probably wasn't the best disguise he could've picked. For some reason, he could never get her voice right, despite the fact that he had mimicked many, many different voices recently. Strangely, no one seemed to notice.

"Oh, she's been fine." Thinking quick, he came up with a plan. "She forgot something at the castle ballroom a few days ago, and she wanted to me to go get it for her, so 'I could see some more of Canterlot', she said."

"Well, in that case, I could show you around! After you get whatever Lyra forgot, that is."

"O- Oh, that won't be necessary, Octavia." The Spy began walking in the direction of the castle, Octavia walking alongside him. "I'll just get Lyra's..." His eyes searching the streets, he spots a purse sitting on a table. "Purse! Yeah, her purse. She forgot it, and sent me to go get it!" He gave Octavia a nervous smile, which seems to do the trick.

"Okay. Maybe next time you're in Canterlot, then?"

"Yeah! Next time I'm here. Well, see you!" Before the mare could question him any further, the Spy walked quickly into the crowd, losing her. Sighing, he finds that he's within sight of the front gates of the castle now. Ducking into a nearby building, the Spy cloaks before going back outside, slipping past the guards at the gate with no trouble at all.

Now inside the castle walls, he idly wonders what Celestia is doing, moments before another changeling invasion occurs...


To put it simply, Celestia was sick of dealing with various diplomats. She just wanted to rest for only a few minutes! Was that too much to ask? And with this business of Saxton needing help, it was nearly enough to make her just stand up and loudly announce where the various dignitaries could stick their collective politics.

As if on cue, another crumpled piece of paper bounces off her snout. Levitating it, she opens the offending piece of parchment, wondering just what in the hell is so important now.

It's Hale again, Tia. Still fighting that yeti. Anyway, Bidwell has reminded me that you might not know how to send something back to my dimension, since I did that myself. Anyway, I have good news about that missing merc: to send him back, just kill him.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking: Why would you want to kill anyone? Well, just trust me when I say that killing that spook is the easiest way to send him back here. And if you're weighing the morals of this decisions, believe me when I say that, no matter how you choose to dispose of the merc, he has died in much, much more painful (and humiliating) ways.

Also, if it means anything, his name is-

A blood stain obscured part of the letter.

-but I know that it's probably unimportant.

Didn't have time to stamp this letter,
Saxton Hale

PS: If you do kill the merc, make sure you cake the surrounding area in a liberal amount of fire immediately after. He has a way of faking death like that, the coward. If I were him, I would just beat the snot out of Death myself (and I have!).


If cloaking through the streets of Ponyville was a relative cakewalk, then passing through the large corridors of the castle was almost too easy. There were only the occasional guards patrolling the halls, along with the odd duo of guards protecting certain doors. None of them even suspected that he was there, making the Spy's task all the easier. Now he just had to find where the changelings had went, and pay them back for getting dirt on his suit back in the hive.

Oh, and save the kingdom. That was important, too.


"Yeah, you better hide, you wand-wavin' moron!"

"Merasmus! We give up, Merasmus! You're too scary for us! Now come out so we can KICK YOUR ASS!"

"Why does he keep hidin' like that, Sniper?"

"I don't bloody know. Why did Soldier have to be his roommate?"

"Also, where are them robots in all this? It's like that Gray feller just gave up for Halloween."

"If you don't find me soon, I'll get so strong I might die of strength! HAHAHAHAAAA! That's a real thing!"

"Why the bloody hell is it that, every Halloween, something weird happens to us?"

"I dunno, Sniper... I just don't know. Oh, hey, they found 'im."

"I see 'em..."

"Feel the terror... of BOOKS!"

"Yeah, let's do it!"

"Everyone down! He's got a book! It's a book! He's going to read!"

"I'm leaving now. Goodbye, everyone!"

"Nobody likes wizards, ya hear me? You're doomed to die alone!"