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Terminus - Virus Outbreak

Join August Rain (as well as others) as she tries to survive an Apocalypse. A Zombie one at that! She'll face challenges, obstacle, desperate fellow ponies also trying to Survive and not all very friendly. Choices made here will have ever lasting effects on the world. Can she protect her family and friends? Find Out!

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 2 )

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EpicMuttonChops

EpicMuttonChops #1 · Jan 6th, 2020 · · · Chapter 1 ·

i enjoy a good zombie apocalypse story, and i can already tell that this one has potential. maybe it's my over-analytical brain at work, but i think i can see some foreshadowing at play.

that said, it was difficult to read what you have so far. there are grammatical and syntax errors that i (and other readers) can get caught up on. apostrophes are only used to show possession, never for plurals. my biggest piece of advice is to take advantage of italics. italics are usually used when writing a character's thoughts, and also to add emphasis on certain words. add italics, and your story will be that much better

keep it up, and i'm looking forward to the next chapter!