Chapter was meh, pinkie was fine and all, but why would she poison king, also, for one he's not a pony, or even from their world so poison joke could have killed him, two, why would pinkie have Zecora poison him, on the reason of forgetting a party because he was seriously tired
Besides that, the chapter was okay ish, I don't really like it, oh and Luna, we got a racist/speciesist Luna, and she calls him a beast based on what he looks? Really? I mean, why? Sorry for my ranting, so I'll finish, Luna knows he's sapient because he talked and all, but really, you take one look at an unknown creature that's sapient, let's call it a beast!
10021728 Please note I'm not trying to be rude or mean, just saying what I honestly think of this, I do like the chapter, but it kinda doesn't make complete sense to me
That was a little to short and really Luna got into is dream he is a elderich being at the moment she has a higher chance going insane the entering his head but that’s just my opinion can’t wait to see where this goes
10021728 I agreed on this one. No matter what reason, Pinkie is not the pony who would poison anyone for personal reason (even with poison joke). That would be more like Dash would do (that mare lack consequence).
10021741 Yeah, I mean, not everyone is gonna have a 'good' reaction to it, I mean realisticly, someone would be allergic to it or something and DIE she out of everyone would know that, and on Luna, this is gonna be interesting but also, to me, kinda annoying because in alot of stories that have someone turned into something else, or is still themselves and when Luna pops in she's like this Begone demon! or something
10021730 I'm sorry, again, I was only half there when I wrote it. I'm confident that, now that I'm awake, I can fix it up. Also, to be fair, Pinkie is only supposed to know him as a Zebra, and Luna is suddenly encountering a nightmarish creature that looks as though it could easily kill all of her ponies. That aside, I'm definitely rewriting this chapter, anyways.
10022356 These are assumptions, and it is worth noting that he is clearly missing a few of the true Scarlet King's quirks, such as the eternal, horrible pain. Also, the burning hatred for life.
10022156 Oh okay, thanks, also, try to not rush things, like write a chapter then go through it yourself to.vheck for any mistakes, that would probably help bud
10022322 Yeah, sorry, I messed up when I wrote it the first time. I was only half awake. I've fixed it now that I'm up. He was supposed to be scary evil looking duder.
10023057 I think I have it a little better this time. I will take my time and make something good instead of rushing something with the next chapter. Thank you for understanding though.
She frowned at the expletives, but quickly regained her smirk as she spoke. "I did not make you that drink, though you're answer's closer than you think..."
You’re Your
You don’t use You’re in this context, as it is a contraction, and therefor means “You Are”
Ok, this chapter was below average in my opinion, Pinkie poisoning him is weird and out of place, but what really confuses me is his reaction or better yet, his lack of any reaction, if in my first day on an alien planet I get poison as a joke I would go ape shit, he was just slightly annoyed. The other mayor issue is that Luna enter the mind of an eldritch abomination without going insane, he was cosplaying as the scarlet king, I assume this means he know what kind of being he is and the magnitude of his powers. We are on chapter 5 an our protagonist hasn’t even try to comprehend his abilities, I do understand that acquiring knowledge of your surrounding is important BUT discovering the powers and tricks of his body should be top priority.
This is difficult to read, though perhaps the most egrious issue is how often you say "He did a thing" Rather then show us him doing the thing, or describe him doing the thing.
Luna says hi
10021525
Lol i was like *insert luna instead of megan*
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/820721-drake-and-josh
Chapter was meh, pinkie was fine and all, but why would she poison king, also, for one he's not a pony, or even from their world so poison joke could have killed him, two, why would pinkie have Zecora poison him, on the reason of forgetting a party because he was seriously tired
Besides that, the chapter was okay ish, I don't really like it, oh and Luna, we got a racist/speciesist Luna, and she calls him a beast based on what he looks? Really? I mean, why? Sorry for my ranting, so I'll finish, Luna knows he's sapient because he talked and all, but really, you take one look at an unknown creature that's sapient, let's call it a beast!
10021728
Please note I'm not trying to be rude or mean, just saying what I honestly think of this, I do like the chapter, but it kinda doesn't make complete sense to me
That was a little to short and really Luna got into is dream he is a elderich being at the moment she has a higher chance going insane the entering his head but that’s just my opinion can’t wait to see where this goes
10021728
I agreed on this one. No matter what reason, Pinkie is not the pony who would poison anyone for personal reason (even with poison joke). That would be more like Dash would do (that mare lack consequence).
10021741
Yeah, I mean, not everyone is gonna have a 'good' reaction to it, I mean realisticly, someone would be allergic to it or something and DIE she out of everyone would know that, and on Luna, this is gonna be interesting but also, to me, kinda annoying because in alot of stories that have someone turned into something else, or is still themselves and when Luna pops in she's like this Begone demon! or something
10021730
I'm sorry, again, I was only half there when I wrote it. I'm confident that, now that I'm awake, I can fix it up. Also, to be fair, Pinkie is only supposed to know him as a Zebra, and Luna is suddenly encountering a nightmarish creature that looks as though it could easily kill all of her ponies. That aside, I'm definitely rewriting this chapter, anyways.
Ah yes, racist princess...probably....that could be unintentional racism.
an high elder god is not effected by poisen or drugs or alcohol and doesnt need to sleep or drink/eat.
10022356
These are assumptions, and it is worth noting that he is clearly missing a few of the true Scarlet King's quirks, such as the eternal, horrible pain. Also, the burning hatred for life.
Prepare for a death battle.
Just trap Luna in your mind to let her relive the horrors games and visions
No matter how strong or what is used on your dream to control it, you are one controlling it no matter what
10022156
Oh okay, thanks, also, try to not rush things, like write a chapter then go through it yourself to.vheck for any mistakes, that would probably help bud
10022322
Yeah, sorry, I messed up when I wrote it the first time. I was only half awake. I've fixed it now that I'm up. He was supposed to be scary evil looking duder.
10023057
I think I have it a little better this time. I will take my time and make something good instead of rushing something with the next chapter. Thank you for understanding though.
10023091
Your welcome bud
noice!
It's time to employ the deadly weapon of all anons: ear scritches, belly rubs and nose boops!
You’re
Your
You don’t use You’re in this context, as it is a contraction, and therefor means “You Are”
Nightmare moon or Luna?
10022606
That and she just challenged the Scarlet King, who, if anyone else is aware, could just snatch her into a dimension worse than hell.
I’m wondering when do you think that next chapter will be out. warped contrast
lets just hope it wont be some weird shit, like him getting sexual feelings as an elder god/fomer human towards pastel colored mini horses
So far so good and interesting choice of scp tho I don't think he will last long if the original mind of the scarlet King is in there
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
I'm reading his origin and he wants to destroy all of reality because existence brings pain.
Same bro. Saaame.
more?
Ok, this chapter was below average in my opinion, Pinkie poisoning him is weird and out of place, but what really confuses me is his reaction or better yet, his lack of any reaction, if in my first day on an alien planet I get poison as a joke I would go ape shit, he was just slightly annoyed. The other mayor issue is that Luna enter the mind of an eldritch abomination without going insane, he was cosplaying as the scarlet king, I assume this means he know what kind of being he is and the magnitude of his powers. We are on chapter 5 an our protagonist hasn’t even try to comprehend his abilities, I do understand that acquiring knowledge of your surrounding is important BUT discovering the powers and tricks of his body should be top priority.
Any news?
more you basterd
make more pleas i need the king
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q61MTO3qidk the scarlet king is op as hellllllllll
This is difficult to read, though perhaps the most egrious issue is how often you say "He did a thing" Rather then show us him doing the thing, or describe him doing the thing.
give us a live signal
10171560
*points to next chapter*
Im confused... Is that Luna at the end?
Pinkie Pie in a prank war vs a elder god... Neat
So now we know the rough time of the show... To bad he cant help from the start.
Wonder what Twilight finds out about the book. That its alive? Self aware? Fluffy?
aahh crap baskets