Physicists Invade Equestria: Sunlight Princess
"Chickens? Really?" Twilight realized just to whom she was speaking, and moreover, how badly she'd botched the heavens before that pony had pulled her cutie mark out of the fire. "I mean... we all have our phobias, right?" She silently hoped nopony brought up the Quesadilla Incident.
Celestia just smiled, her mane wafting in the sunrise. "Indeed." The smile grew strained. "And given how many of your more embarrassing moments I know about, I... suppose it's only fair you hear about this one."
Twilight gave a nervous giggle. "Frankly, after yesterday, I'm afraid I'll develop a fear of swans. But you don't have to—"
"Come now, Twilight," said Luna. "You'll be taking the throne soon enough. If you cannot treat us as equals now, then I can scarcely imagine how you will behave when you are our better."
"Better?" Twilight drew back, feeling her wings flare out. "I don't want to be anypony's better!"
"And we can discuss those sorts of social implications now if you so desire." Celestia yawned. "Or possibly later this morning. It has been a long night after all."
"Oh, but sister, we have yet to hear of why you so fear barnyard poultry!" Luna said brightly. "Come, regale us with your grand struggle against the combed menace."
Twilight tried to wave it off. "I don't think that's especially ne—"
"And if you do not, I will."
Celestia frowned. "But you weren't even there."
"Indeed I was not." Luna gave a feline grin. "And because I remain so ignorant, I shall happily compose my own saga of Celestia the Bold, who nobly soiled herself at the Battle of Coop's Bridge."
"This is revenge for the zip line, isn't it?"
Luna shook her head. "This is merely the younger sibling's prerogative. The Cutie Mark Crusaders have waxed eloquent on such matters many a time, as my comrade in arms can surely confirm."
"No comment," said the other younger sister on the balcony, studiously avoiding both diarchs' gazes.
Celestia sighed. "Very well. It was during the first decades after your banishment, when I was still using Starswirl's mirror gallery as a way to ignore all I had done wrong." She shook her head. "Of course, ignoring the nation led to worse problems down the line, but that was another matter.
"While some worlds offered scientific, magical, or cultural wonders I could bring home and use to justify my dereliction of duty, others were realms in crisis." Celestia shut her eyes and sighed. "I thought that if I could help them, it would help make up for my failings in this world."
Luna rested her neck against Celestia's withers. "Thou wert ne'er the one who needed to atone, dearest sib." A midnight blue wing flicked tears away from each princess's eyes. "The fault, like the punishment, was mine own."
"So... the chickens?" Both sisters turned to Twilight, the shock on their faces making it clear they had forgotten she was there. "Sorry, it's just that... Well, you two have made excellent progress on this matter. Your vacation is proof of that, given what you've been telling me. You don't need to wallow in your guilt over what happened. At this point, it isn't constructive."
Luna nodded with a grin. "So sayeth the Princess of Friendship."
"Language, Luna." Celestia turned to Twilight, her own smile gentler, but no less amused. "You're sure you don't just want to hear an old mare's embarrassing stories?"
"I mean... you did offer. And I can't deny that I'm a little curious. I mean, chickens? And I know it's not because of cockatrices. I remember how you and Spike led the efforts to repel the giant mutant ones when they invaded Canterlot during the Secretariat Comet Incident."
"Well, it all began in one of those imperiled worlds, a strange one filled with creatures not unlike the ones you encountered in the land Sunset Shimmer now calls home. It had been despoiled by evil long ago, and while that evil was largely contained at the time, it would not remain that way for long. A hero from days of yore had emerged from his slumber to vanquish it once and for all."
"Pray tell, sister, rich a world though this may be, how does it lead to a fear of chickens?"
"Did you fight alongside the hero? Was the evil..." Twilight scrunched her muzzle as she struggled to imagine the phrase on the tip of her tongue. "Was it a chicken?"
"No. The chickens were far worse."
Celestia was thoroughly unimpressed with this world. Bad enough that it left her without horn or wings, it even stripped her of her voice. Worst of all, the sound of an explosion had made her dash away from it, catch herself, run towards it, and only then realize how handicapped she was. Even earth pony magic seemed out of her reach, and now she had lost track of which rock along the foot of the nearby mountain connected to the portal home. She nickered to herself as she thought about how to proceed.
She heard the rustling grass scant moments before the creature leapt on her back.
She did everything in her power to try to dislodge the thing, rearing and thrashing as best she could. And the predator, some dumb beast that could well end her life like an animal if she truly was as diminished as she feared...
Scratched behind her ears and rubbed her cheeks.
Celestia slowed and stopped, partly from exhaustion, partly confusion. This was no predator, so what was it? Her current body was too inflexible to get a good look at what sat atop her, but—
Wait a moment. How long had she been trotting? And why was that building with a giant pony head getting closer?
With a start—one that got a frustratingly pleasant ear scratch—Celestia realized the creature atop her was directing her motion with pressure at her sides. She felt an eyelid twitch and voiced her displeasure as best she could.
That just got her mane ruffled. She rolled her eyes. Her rider wanted to go to what appeared to be a stable or inn? Fine. She broke into a gallop, not letting any amount of ear scratches slow her down.
She didn't notice the chickens until she was already trampling them. She winced. There was no need for innocents to suff—
"CU-CUCCOOOO!"
Celestia realized she may have erred in assuming the chickens' innocence.
Then she and her rider both screamed.
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And here I thought she replaced Zelda, but no.
I got that it was gonna be Cuccos, somewhere around
I think I actually skipped the "slumber" bit, and got it more because Sunlight Princess was like Twilight Princess. Thought she'd replace Midna, as an alternate hypothesis.
Yeah, with Link Pone being a thing, fear of chickens is entirely rational. Also, obligatory "many breeds of chicken are capable of flight so Scootaloo can't be one" is barely relevant but that nonsense still annoys me.
"an way" should be "a way"
"the two have made excellent progress" should be "you two"
Why has Ganon never weaponized Cuccos? He'd be unstoppable!
Brave, brave Celestia rode forth from Canterlot...
It was at this point that I knew where she was. No wonder she came away with a phobia. Immortal, implacable...
9776385
Even he dares not trifle with such powers.
Ah, a video-electric game reference. I am hip to what the kids and teens are “getting jiggy” with!
I love the comic references, though!
Darn it, I wasn't entirely certain about the ending until the A/N, so I felt kinda lost. D:
She should be glad it wasn't a Lynel.
Given that this is a sorta-prequel to the aforementioned story, I now like to think Brave Heart ended up on an unintentional one-way portal ride on "his" horse's back, only to find out that the Princess is not only in another castle, the castle is in another dimension entirely, and now he's a horse of a different color himself.
This, by the way would also be a helluva good story seed. Hint, hint. :)