Spencer was vaguely aware that the brain is in some ways like a computer made out of fat, and that a lot of it comes down to binary values. He didn’t know all the terms, but that you could be, like, energized and euphoric, which makes you happy in a party sense of the word, the way a lot of people were a scant few hours ago in this locale. Or euphoric and relaxed, feeling content, or you could be energized and scared, like you are when you’re feeling cornered.
He shook his head, hoping to shake loose some of the chemicals that made him not tired. It probably didn’t work that way, but the placebo effect can be pretty effective. Then he continued sweeping the floor, walking on his hind legs and keeping his balance with the broom.
Francis, as always, managed to look great despite being slumped over the bar and looking over receipts and papers, while Lloyd stood beside him and took inventory of the liquid refreshments as he cleaned the bar. Sandra was sitting on a barstool, resting her head on the bar, either asleep or looking like it.
On a bean bag in the corner, a changeling snored in his usual spot. That, the faint rustling of paper, and the clinking and clacks of Lloyd and Francis as they swept up the remains of the night’s business was the only sound at the moment.
Spencer calmly contemplated another slight difference between Equestria and his old home as he worked. Here, they favored the bottles wrapped in straw, and wooden mugs. He didn’t complain, since Equestrian hoof-wear wasn’t an as advanced and established art as cobblery was back home, and so walked around with bare extremities, not being too worried about stepping on shards of glass.
He swept a pile of refuse into a bag, stepped down to three legs, and used one foreleg to swing the bag over his back, still not very familiar or comfortable with the way most ponies, especially earth ponies like him, favored using their mouths for most manipulations, and walked on three legs towards the exit.
As he placed the bag by the ajar doors leading outside, he noticed the familiar white and light green shape standing outside in the slight chill, took a moment to register it, and sighed.
He poked his head out through the doors and looked at the unicorn slowly pacing outside.
“Lyra? What are you doing here?” he asked, dropping his polite authority that he was so accustomed to speak with outside the doors, and replaced it with genuine concern.
Lyra jumped a little, and looked at Spencer, startled. “Uh, nothing! I was just, uhm…”
Spencer looked at her slowly, before opening the doors all the way. “Well, come on inside. It’s cold out here.”
“Really!? I, uh, I mean, thank you,” Lyra said, and slunk in under Spencer’s almost hulking stature with slightly worrying submissiveness, trying to both seem grateful and almost feeling like she was sneaking in uninvited.
“‘s alright,” Spencer said, and led her into the club proper.
The cavern-like interior was populated by bars, tables, and a few booths, with a scene taking up the far wall, reachable by descending a few comfortably wide flights of stairs, which like most of the rest of the floor was covered in slightly worn but not quite run-down carpets.
Lloyd and Francis looked up at the sight of Lyra, and Sandra stirred as her ears angled themselves towards the intruding sounds of her hooffalls.
“Let’s get you something to eat,” Spencer said, and led Lyra to the bar, sitting himself down next to Sandra and gesturing at an empty barstool.
Lyra took in her surroundings as a scholar would an old ruin, and gratefully sat down on the offered stool.
“Hey, Lyra,” Lloyd and Francis said.
“Hi,” she said, as Sandra lifted her head from her hooves.
“Hey, you okay?” Spencer gently asked Sandra, who nodded a bit gingerly.
“Someone mentioned food,” Lloyd said. “We need to restock the kitchen, but I should be able to whip something up.”
“Thank you,” Lyra carefully said, while Sandra smiled and gently nodded again.
Lloyd walked slowly to keep himself from stumbling when he went into the kitchen, while Francis put down the papers and groaned, marking where he was and sliding them into a folder.
Lyra kept looking around, and noticed the fast asleep changeling in the corner, recoiling slightly.
“Oh don’t worry about him,” Francis assured her. “That’s just Barney. He’s harmless.”
“... Okay,” Lyra said, trying to sound convinced.
“Is that actually his name?” a smiling Sandra asked, her voice raspy from sleep.
“It really is,” Francis said, sniggering lightly along with Spencer and Sandra.
Lyra looked at them, confused, but the laughter was good natured, and she felt herself slowly being put at ease, as Lloyd came back out of the kitchen, stumbling on his hind legs and holding a plate in his forehooves, and deposited it on the bar, before pulling up a chair himself and slumping into it, Francis following his example.
“Heated burger buns and… condiments,” he said, not sure how best to present the feast. “Should have some pickles around, and we’ve got milk, and cream, apple and orange juice, chocolate powder too I think… salted nuts perhaps.”
“Thank you,” Lyra said, a simple fare enough for her at the moment.
They gently dug in, Sandra leaning against Spencer as she slowly had some orange juice, as Lyra kept looking around, taken in by the mostly, by pony standards, mundane surroundings.
“So, uh,” she eventually asked. “You have stairs.”
The others glanced at each other, not sure where this came from.
“Uh, yeah,” Spencer confirmed. “How so?”
“I was just… wondering about that sign outside that said ‘no stairway’.”
They sniggered among themselves, while waving away her concerns.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lloyd said. “Just an in-joke. It would take ages to explain.”
“An in-joke for the ponies… creatures, who come here?”
“Yep.”
“So… is it true? The rumors that you’re all from… somewhere else?”
“Everypony, everyone, is from somewhere they are not now,” a new, gentle and soothing voice said. “Whether space, or time, or just as ponies.”
Everyone whipped their heads to the newcomer standing in front of the bar, Lyra especially so.
“Princess Celestia!” she said, and started stumbling out of her seat to bow.
Celestia gently held up a hoof and stopped her, smiling gently at her.
“Heya, majesty,” the other four ponies echoed.
Lyra looked at them in shock, feeling as though she should be outraged by the casual manner that they addressed the Princess of the Sun with, but at the same time intrigued, and in some ways impressed. Besides, the princess didn’t seem to mind.
“Good morning, my dears,” Celestia said. “Did you have a pleasant evening?”
“We did. Did you?” Lloyd asked.
Celestia sat down by the bar and smiled at Lloyd. “Why, you wish it was so, despite not inviting me?”
“Oh sure,” Spencer said. “We don’t keep ponies out because we don’t like you, we just… wanna keep to ourselves a little.”
“Why though?” Lyra asked.
Spencer’s eyebrows did a little dance as he tried to use his spent faculties to come up with an answer. “Oof. Bunch of reasons. Why does anyone want to spend time with their group and not in another group?”
“Don’t have to explain ourselves whenever we talk about things we’re all about, for one thing,” Lloyd said, and turned to his fellow club owners, and Sandra to continue an old conversation. “Oh, and speaking of which, I pick… The Master Sword.”
“Chainsaw from Doom,” Francis said.
“Ooh, hmm. The Master Sword can shoot beams though.”
“The chainsaw turns the bad guys into fountains of ammo in the remake.”
“Hmm. good point.”
“Yoshi the dinosaur,” Sandra added, eyes still closed.
The stallions were quiet for a few seconds, before nodding. “Yep, I think that’s the winner,” Lloyd said.
Lyra was completely lost by this back and forth, and looked between the ponies around her. “So… you guys really are… from somewhere else?”
“If the concept of where applies to this whole thing,” Francis noted. “I certainly didn’t stroll over to Equestria.”
“What do you mean?”
“That they come from another plane of existence,” Celestia said. ”Transported here by unknown means, and their forms changed to those of the native sapient creatures of our world.”
“But why?” Lyra asked, looking up at her princess.
“Beats me,” Spencer said. “One day I went to bed the same as any other day, and I woke up like this.” He held up a hoof and wiggled it in front of his face.
“We don’t know why,” Celestia said, somberly. “We’ve been trying to find out, but our knowledge of other worlds is limited, we barely even know how to look for them, much less send ponies to them. And so they are here, stranded in a strange land, arriving without means, and only a few with anyone near or dear to them.”
“... That’s awful.”
The ponies around Lyra smiled as they calmly ate.
“We can’t know for sure,” Sandra said. “But I suspect that there are worse worlds to end up in than this.”
Lyra looked around at the four ponies, and the still snoring changeling in the corner, with sadness coloring her intrigue. She now found something… somber, and yet admirable, about their smiles, the way they carried themselves, and the comfort they found in each others’ company.
“Wow. I’m sorry,” she said, her ears sagging.
“Hey, don’t be,” Lloyd said, waving her words away. “If it weren’t for you ponies, this would have been a lot worse.”
“And there are other benefits,” Francis said, waggling his eyebrows at his mirror image in a platter hanging in front of him and making kissing noises.
“Francis here wasn’t much of a looker before turning into a pony,” Lloyd helpfully supplied, in response to Celestia and Lyra’s expressions.
“And I didn’t have a very impressive stature,” Spencer said, making Sandra giggle as he playfully flexed the large muscles she was resting her head against. “Don’t even need to go to the gym.”
“You’d like it there.” Sandra said. “Less techno-pop than back home.”
“And you could keep working on your project,” Lloyd said.
“What project?” Sandra asked.
“He’s trying to come up with enough lyrics to make the chorus for In The Navy last for five minutes.”
“Pfft! Any progress?”
“Nothing much,” Spencer admitted. “So far the only thing that sounds good is, it’ll be a pleasant stay- pack your bags and sail away, and, learn to fish and to tie knots- tell us and we’ll warm your cots.”
“Heh, nice… did you know they weren’t actually into guys?”
“Only some of them weren’t,” Francis noted, holding up a hoof.
“How can they not have been? With those lyrics I mean,” Francis asked.
“You know, this reminds me of home back before the smartphone days, before you could just look it up whenever,” Sandra noted.
“Kinda yeah,” Lloyd agreed. “And appropriately enough, we’re mostly playing older songs.”
The four ponies smiled amusedly to themselves, and started humming the tone of the song in question.
“Whoa, okay, enough,” Spencer eventually said. “We have visitors.”
They turned to look at Lyra and Celestia, who looked utterly lost by the exchange.
They were interrupted from trying to get some clarification from the sound of the doors opening, and three ponies and a gryphon casually walking in, talking and yawning amongst themselves.
“Hey, guys,” a mare in the front said, before they noticed Celestia and Lyra. “Oh! Uuh, good morning, your majesty.”
“Good morning… Charlotte, I believe?” Celestia ventured, diplomatically, having shortly met all of the newcomers at least once.
“Good memory,” Charlotte said, and carefully turned her attention to the club’s owners. “We, uh, just came to pick up our stuff.”
“Sure. It should be where you left it. You guys all keep track of which equipment belongs to who,” Lloyd said. “Back door can be opened from the inside, as usual.”
There hadn’t been a traditional line-up of bands the night before, and there usually weren’t either. The humans put their magically provided special talents for music to good use, as it meant that they could switch out members between songs, or even on the fly. A vocalist with an appropriate voice, or someone playing an instrument currently not on the stage, could jump in from another band, or even from the audience, as the show required. This made the number of bands available the same as the combination of people in the locale.
“Great job yesterday by the way,” Sandra said. “I thought I was gonna melt during a few of those solos.”
Gryphons tended to carry themselves with a great amount of pride, and there were some among them who never quite managed to pull it off, especially in pony lands where their sharp features and larger bulks made them stand out, and most gryphons doubled down on their appearance.
The gryphon in the band however, brought to mind that peculiar phenomenon that could sometimes be observed, where a teenager is happy to be an unassuming presence, but has a great growth spurt that gives them a stature greater than all of their peers and most adults, and they try and weave as gracefully as they can through their lives before they get comfortable in their new forms, often with a sort of constant, unspoken apology for any unintentional looming.
He stiffened a little, before relaxing when he saw Sandra’s genuine expression, in sharp contrast to when he and his fellow guitarist had stood, wide-legged, manes and shaggy feathers tossing wildly, and wings wide as their hooves and talons danced across the strings of their instruments, in an entrancing extravaganza of showmanship and sounds.
“Thanks,” he said, smiling behind his blush.
“Oh, hey, Clive, Clive, do the thing!” Spencer said, grinning widely.
The gryphon just groaned.
“Oh come on, man. Sandra here hasn’t seen it.”
Clive looked at Sandra’s confused face, as she looked at Spencer for any hint of what he was talking about.
“Fine,” he said, trying to keep from smiling to himself as his fellow band members took up positions next to the other ponies and looked at him expectantly, with Lyra and Celestia looking on in confusion.
Clive took a few steps away from the group, stared off into the distance, perpendicular to the watching ponies, with a serious expression, then suddenly turned to them, and shifted his expression to one of comically over-dramatic surprise and alarm.
The ponies bent over from laughter, clutching their stomachs as they guffawed loudly.
Except Lyra and Celestia, who looked at the others with a mix of worry and amusement. It wasn’t that he didn’t look funny, but they couldn’t see how it warranted a reaction this intense among the otherwise comparatively stone faced newcomers.
As the laughter died down to giggles, the band moved on down towards where they had played the night before, and moved backstage to collect their belongings.
“You guys all have such cool names,” Lyra said, a bit wistfully.
Their hosts looked a little taken aback, before nodding at her. “Thank you,” Spencer said. “I think pony names are pretty cool as well.”
“Some of our names sound like pony names,” Francis pointed out.
“Like Red Brown,” Lloyd said.
“His name is still Reb, with a b,” Spencer said. “What other ones?”
“Fifi Trixibelle,” Sandra added.
“And her.”
“The one with the coolest name, here or in Equestria, who is that?” Francis said.
“Fraser Kilmister,” Sandra submitted.
“I like Princess Celestia,” Spencer said, unabashedly, in front of the pony in question. “It has a really nice ring to it.”
Celestia looked taken aback for just a fraction of a second, before nodding in recognition to Spencer. “Thank you,” she said.
“Why can’t even Princess Celestia get invited?” Lyra asked.
“Uhm, well it’s not that we don’t respect her. Quite the opposite really,” Francis shrugged.
“Oh?” an amused Celestia said.
“Oh sure,” Spencer agreed. “We just don’t make distinction between social classes.”
Celestia cocked her head every so slightly, before speaking. “Truly? Is that a common philosophy where you are from?”
“Not really,” Francis freely admitted. “If I had a club back home, I wouldn’t let in silver spooned brats who see themselves as better than others. And yes, I am very much aware of the hypocrisy, thank you very much.”
“And one way to tick the ones here off is to not make any distinction between them and commoners,” Lloyd smirked. “Rebel rebel.”
Celestia opened her mouth, an amused look on her face, and slowly closed it again, nodding ever so slightly with a small smile and a sigh.
“Still, our hats off to you,” Spencer said.
“Thank you,” Celestia said, evenly. “May I ask what warrants that?”
“We have a saying back home. Shit flows downward,” Lloyd said. “We’ve checked the bottom, and we can barely find any.”
Celestia tried to keep from smiling behind the hoof she held up to her mouth, as Lyra’s eyes widened at the language.
“I see,” Celestia said, and nodded. “That is encouraging, if a little stressful, to hear from visitors from so far away.”
“No pressure,” Francis said, nodding.
“I don’t understand.” Lyra cocked her eyebrows.
“In any hierarchy, like, say, a nation like Equestria, if one layer is inept, the ones underneath suffers. That Equestria is such a harmonious place speaks very highly of Celestia’s skill as a leader, and in picking in subordinates, and so on,” Spencer explained.
Celestia bowed her head slightly in recognition.
“Oh, I get it,” Lyra said.
“And tell your pretty sister we said that too,” Lloyd said.
“I will,” Celestia said, smirking to herself. “All of that.”
Lloyd hid his blush behind an overdone smirk.
“Your majesty?” Lyra began, carefully. “Can I ask you, how do you feel about ponies not being allowed in here?”
Celestia smiled at Lyra, then looked around for a moment before speaking. “One might find it unfair that one group keeps their entertainment and art to themselves, while being free to peruse ours, but there is much more to it than that. You cannot force anypony to share their art. Think of a world where critics are free to snatch away foals’ sketchbooks and hold up the scribbles inside for all to see. It would be ridiculous.
“See it like this: I imagine you know a pony or two both here and in Ponyville who thinks of social gatherings as great gifts, and who finds joy in arranging celebrations for others.”
Lyra nodded knowingly. “Yes, I really do.”
“For those who do not appreciate large gatherings, that is not such a great gift. To them, a more courteous gift would be to not intrude with their presence. Different ponies appreciate different approaches to social situations. All they need to think is that we ponies are better off without their influence, and that is how it is.
“You might think that the fair approach is to seal off our culture from these newcomers, and strictly speaking that would be true, but I would not encourage that way of thinking. I want to experience their art, and like the company of a timid cat, I will not get it by forcing my presence upon them. Let them come to us.”
“In other words, we’re like timid cats,” Francis said.
“I also like how open you are with this,” Spencer noted.
“I suspect it will work,” Celestia said, managing to sound matter-of-factly despite her gentle tone. “Do you?”
“I do,” Spencer admitted.
Lyra’s ears drooped at the sight of the ponies nodding in defeat.
Celestia extended her wings and gently raised her guest’s chins with her primaries.
“I am sorry,” she said. “It will be a loss, but please take heart in that it will not be oblivion. Your ways, your art, it is all memories, and so long as you remember, it shall live on.”
“We’ve seen it before,” Sandra said. “Back home. It fades. It becomes harder to hold on, and the more obvious it becomes that people struggle to hold on, the more bitter it feels. It… it sucks.”
“It does indeed,” Celestia agreed. “As I’m sure you can imagine, I have been happy many times in my life, and to this day, I wish that those moments could go on forever.”
As her gaze slowly travelled across the ponies, they felt as if she let them glimpse some of the seemingly bottomless amount of joy and sorrow in her life.
“There is one advice often said warningly,” she continued. “But I say it with all my heart. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
With that, she rose up, and walked out of the club. “Until next time, my dears.”
The ponies looked at each other, smiles slowly forming on their lips.
Spencer raised his glass, albeit only with a bit of orange juice in the bottom.
“Still going strong,” he said.
The other raised theirs in response, and almost barked their agreements.
“Yeah.”
“Hear hear.”
Lyra’s ears rose up from the heartened display.
“I… if I ever hear any of your songs… I promise I won't play them to other ponies,” she said. "I'll keep them to myself."
“For now,” Lloyd said. “One day, you might be the first pony to play alien music.”
Lyra smiled beneath her timid blush, as the others coaxed her to raise her glass as well.
They’d have to toast with proper beverages later, but this would suffice for now.
Been waitin for this
You may want to pick just one of those words, or slap an "and" between them.
I'm somewhat surprised that none of the humans are making an effort to collect, codify or record their culture. Songs, stories and language have long been cultural cornerstones, and if they don't get them down quickly they're hound to get warped. Videogames and memes would be somewhat more difficult to transcribe, the former needing large teams and a lot of time to recreate and the latter because there's no internet hivemind to give context, but that doesn't mean an effort shouldn't be made. Otherwise, even if they manage to keep things on lock for the rest of their lives, it's still a culture doomed to exist for a single generation.
Still, nice chapter!
"You know what, Lyra? I think we can share one song with you..." And then all the humans proceed to serenade Lyra with "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel!
9908580
they could be keeping a copy of all books and visual media they can remember but the biggest issue would be security. that and a purple princess of books that can smell rare tomes within a league.
9908580
We haven't seen them catalogue their old culture, but they might be trying to, or plan on doing so. But yeah, like this chapter brings up, and not very subtly, that at the rate things are going now, this culture's days are numbered. Which, really, is one of the things this story is about, that feeling when your culture is, tangibly, doomed. And really, all cultures, as they are right now, are doomed, since they're always changing, and how that's sad in some ways, and not sad in others.
Thanks for the heads up. Detritus from some editing
9908579
Hope it didn't disappoint
9908600
I hadn't heard that in years, and wow, what an epiphany when I listened to it again. I just realized what that track in FF8 reminded me off, all those years ago
9908605
That a lot of it would be hard to grasp out of context would kind of be a form of security though
So the question becomes what song do they share with Lyra first? I think What a Wonderful World.
I think Lyra learned something very interesting here and I hope as she grows in this story she comes to understand the loss these creatures understand. She got it explained to her in this chapter and she has a good understanding but I don't think she can truely understand it, yet.
9908671
Yeah. Kinda stumbled across a pretty deep subject matter here. Oh well, still gonna give it a shot at portraying it right. A lot of ponyfiction, while not outright stating it, seems to portray the ponies as eager to understand profound and complicated states of emotion, but have little experience with it themselves. This could be interesting.
Before I read it: YEEEEEEEEEEES! I've been waiting for this for a while. I can't wait to see where you take this!
What a fascinating story concept.
I suspected it would be the same avenue as "Papers, Please", "Not Tonight", and "Yes, Your Grace", but it was really more of Trivial Pursuit and Jeapordy.
I am looking at my people, the folks who speak in references. And I am loving it.
9908671
Despacito
9908702
Thanks. Will you remove your edits if I say that I'm done with them? It's never fun to have a wall of errors pasted in your comment section forever and ever.
9908708
Glad you like it. I'm asking myself why no one else has done this before
Should I get the "No Stairway" Joke?
9908768
It's a real world phenomenon, when rock'n'roll and heavy metal was popular, and picking up speed, a lot of young people started learning to play the guitar. In the 70's, Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin was such a popular learning song that lots of store owners put up signs that said "No Stairway" because they were sick of people practising it in their stores.
9908729
Hm? Oh, I meant I'll edit my comment to add my thoughts of the chapter once I finish reading it. I guess I wasn't clear enough? My fault. But, yeah, I'll remove any of my comments if you want me to. Of course.
I wonder how ponies would feel about a good Celtic song the lore and stories in them can be deep and the drink songs are very fun!
9908795
No, no need to remove your comments, I just figured that if you were gong to leave a wall of text pointing out typos, like some people do, I'd like that edited out of the comment after said typos were taken care of. I appreciate it when people help me with proofreading, but when it's left as a mark of shame that never goes away, that's less fun. Nothing objectionable with your comment
9908808
It's music, so I think ponies would love them. Luna especially strikes me as if she would appreciating them a lot.
Pfft, nonsense Spence. If you were to meet the President of America, you'd be bringing out your politest "Mr. President", nevermind how nervous you'd be about how to behave if you were to meet the Queen of England. And that's before we going into the various levels of VIP or business class treatment, which requires a certain social class and accompanying bank account to even access. We very much have social classes here.
I wager you're speaking casually to Celestia more because it makes you feel different from the other ponies. Makes you feel like you haven't gone native yet.
9908903
When he said "we", he meant himself, Lloyd, and Francis, and a bunch of former humans with the same attitude, rather than modern humans as a whole. He'd be nervous about meeting the queen of England in Buckingham Palace, but in his club, in another world, his attitude will be revealed: She is going to get the respect he thinks she deserves as an individual, uninfluenced by her station. At least so he'd like to think, and I suspect that he's right about himself on that account.
They're all scrutinizing Celestia and her way of ruling, and her as a person, and they're liking what they see, so them calling her 'princess' or 'your majesty' is certainly within the realms of possibility.
9908789
Oh! It’s funny, I was Stairway to Heaven and though it was gonna be about the whole “satanic messages” bullshit, but that makes sense too.
9908948
It would be interesting to see what a pony would do if they heard that words of their cosmic enemy was hidden on a record. I imagine they'd study it carefully, and encourage other ponies to listen to it, so they can understand what made them so wicked. Can't help if you don't know what the problem is, right?
Have we established yet whether the influx of, uh, new sapients is ongoing? Or was it a once-off, and once the current set age and die, there will be no-one who personally remembers Earth?
9908957
I actually haven't decided yet. I'm thinking that there was an influx a while back that has since either stopped, or slowed to a trickle, with just the occasional latecomer popping up on occasion. I'm leaving it unspecified for now, but that's what sounds best so far.
"We just want it to be ours, if only for a little while more"
This single generation of strangers, bound by this unique culture. No one can take it from them but time.
I wonder if they could make ponies do the macarena without them knowing what it was if they all sang it in the presence of ponies.
Then again we really haven't seen crowdsinging for several seasons of MLP. That is one of the things that make the later seasons feel different.
9908994
Indeed. Somber, and yet comforting, and very recognisable, I think.
9908997
Personally, I'd try and go "Mah Nà Mah Nà!" around ponies
He did it!! He did the joke!
9909243
Heh, nice
I was thinking of the old classic: 66.media.tumblr.com/2e1fe13ed828ce369385ae14f72904ef/tumblr_mm30x3IIgh1qcstqzo1_400.gif
9908789
It still is, and people still do. The difference is that these days other customers are likely enough to... *clears throat* SUGGEST the aspiring musician choose another song to play that the "No Stairway" signs are largely a thing of the past
9908825
Cool, thanks. I finished reading this chapter a while ago and I have some thoughts. Warning: long comment ahead.
First and foremost it's good. Very good. It's a good continuation and builds well on what was established in the previous chapter. You're a good writer. I like this chapter. ...Yes.
Second and more seriously, I love what you seem to be doing with Lyra. I see her as becoming a big part of the story as she becomes closer to Spencer and the others and as her curiosity about humanity grows due to the withheld information, maybe a couple of chapters down the line even becoming the first Equestrian-pony to enter the bar.
Third, losing your home and maybe never being able to go back forever must be absolutely devastating. It's a very somber and depressing idea, and I sensed those undertones while reading the story (intentional or not), that these people are often incredibly depressed about the situation in one way or another and are masking it with the Establishment and stuff like that. I feel it would be great if this was increasingly emphasized as time went on, perhaps eventually culminating with somebody breaking down to Lyra or Celestia or whoever after getting drunk or in a private conversation, maybe. Something like that.
Fourth, I think it would be good to take a look at different humans-turned-ponies perspectives on the situation based on their personalities before they wound up in Equestria, from those who're nihilistic about humanity and our future versus those who were optimistic, from those whose quality of life increased or decreased, from those who are happy in Equestria and want to move on and those who are trying to find a way back home, from the scientifically-minded who want to catalogue and observe Equestrian ways or introduce modern science to Equestria to the artistically-minded who prefer to represent how they feel about Equestria/subtly introduce Earth culture or portray Earthly feelings through literature, paintings, or plays (I can imagine Equestrian art to be typically very colorful and mellow and represent joyous feelings contrasting with Earth's often more sorrowful, bittersweet, occasionally over-the-top and melancholiac feelings).
City-dwellers versus countrymen, adventure seekers (those who did things like trek the Amazon or skydive over Everest) versus those who want a more peaceful, simple life, those who wish to keep Earth culture secluded versus those who wish to integrate it with Equestria's, those who care for Equestrian culture and those who outright have a distaste for it. Misanthropists versus philanthropists, cultured versus uncultured, those who lost nothing in teleporting to Equestria versus those who lost everything (their family, friends, world, job, memories and treasured items, possessions... even their body, not even a picture remaining to remind them of their loved ones and home). It must be so tough for them and I would hate to see those types of people neglected. Perhaps people like those are more common than one might first think, which is one of the Establishment is performing so well...? Music is a treasure, and it could help a lot of humans-turned-ponies deal with the loss. I doubt that type of loss is very common, so to have it be on such a large scale right under the Equestrians' noses might really shock the lot of them. Just an idea.
Fifth, (and all this is just a proposition, not a demand) I thought it would be cool to have Equestria be represented as a more... mellow place than Earth overall. More peaceful, greater prosperity, but not a paradise. As you said in a comment, that the ponies in fanfiction tend to be 'eager to understand profound and complicated states of emotion, but have little experience with it themselves'. Which I like, that Earth is much more turbulent, it's greatest points being greater than the average pony's biggest dreams (the moon landings, the internet and electronics like phones, things like the Hubble Space Telescope and cutting edge science in astrophysics like the Big Bang, neurotech, biotech (prosthetic limbs would be near god-tier for the ponies, I'd imagine), nanotech, the story of Opportunity the Rover and the Voyager Probes all WITHOUT MAGIC *gasp*, etc).
Contrary, it's lowest points being darker than the worst thing imaginable to your average pony (nuclear holocaust and hydrogen bombs, the holocaust, the slave trade, World War 1's trench warfare, colonization, disasters like Hiroshima and Chernobyl, the Crusades, etc). I figure the contrast could blow some Equestrians' minds, which could be fun to see. Though any revealing of human history and achievements to the Equestrians' would have to be farther down in the story. Several chapters, at least. I want to revel in and enjoy the near-complete seclusion for a while, in my opinion. No pressure, though.
Last thing; I noticed we haven't seen what the Establishment is like on the inside when it's active, what it's like being in a place with entirely former humans. I would love to see that, perhaps from the perspective from someone like Lyra (if she ever gets in), or Twilight (if she sneaks in, maybe disguised with a spell). Comparatively, further emphasis on the value of music. Music connects people. When people search for music, they don't search for the sound- they are looking for a specific emotion or set of emotions. A song they were listening to when they danced with a crush in middle school at the prom for nostalgia, a power metal song for adrenalin or a song depicting a sad story of a man who lost everything for sadness, etc. It allows us to reflect and brings us backward or forward. Music is one of the greatest things humans have ever created. I feel this isn't a rare belief. No Equestrians have ever heard Earth music up until this point, so I figure that the first song an Equestrian hears should be somewhat... momentous, and the right song, too. Some ideas:
REM's 'It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)', David Bowie's 'Space Oddity', 'Life on Mars' or 'Starman', Fleetwood Mac's 'You Can Go Your Own Way', Bobby McFerrin's 'Don't Worry, Be Happy', 'It's A Wonderful World', Frank Sinatra's 'Fly Me To The Moon' (that's a good one, actually the first song played on the Moon), if you want something heavier and more energetic, AC/DC is always there ('Back In Black' or 'Highway to Hell' would be great), The Beatles 'All You Need Is Love', (another good one), Billy Joel's 'For The Longest Time', 'Johnny B Goode' (remember Voyager?), Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' (probably the anthem of humanity imo), 'Don't Stop Me Now', or 'We Are The Champions', Rick Astley's 'Lights Out', Rolling Stones 'Gimme Shelter', Tom Cochrane's 'Good Times', Steve Miller Band's 'The Joker (Space Cowboy)', Steppenwolf's 'Magic Carpet Ride' or Bruce Springsteen's 'Born To Run', John Lennon's 'Imagine', Chris De Burgh's 'A Spaceman Came Travelling', or my personal favourite: Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start The Fire'. My top three besides that would would be 'All You Need is Love', 'Fly Me To The Moon', and 'It's A Wonderful World', in case you care.
Phew, long comment. Sorry about that, just had a lot to say. And keep in mind these are just SUGGESTIONS, not demands. I don't expect you to do any of these at all. My main point is that there is a LOT of potential and ways this story can go.
I have a few other ideas, too, though nothing in particular that I could share if you want me to. But this comment is getting WAY too long, so I'll end it here. Though I have no expectations, I would consider it a privilege to help you with the story through PM's if you want. Completely up to you. I just... really like this premise, and when that happens, I find it hard to stop thinking 'bout it. TL;DR; I like.
Cheers.
9909252
Fuck! This visual makes the griffon part so much better.
God, was looking forward to a new chapter of this eventually! Happy to see it here! Though that now that it was closing/end of day that they'd let her in to hang out, but didn't expect them to reveal everything to her so soon!
Not that I mind, it was just a surprise. Also Celestia is pretty cool about things, I'd love to see Luna show up one day. Maybe have them fake "old English" or quote Monty Python at her XD
9908600
What, not "The Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves"?
Awesome chapter. Loved the interaction with both Lyra and Celestia.
Keep up the great work!
I love this so far :)
btw
off
This chapter is okay, but them just letting Lyra in like that feels hollow. She got away with begging her way in by standing outside by herself miserably in the cold, when before she has attempted to get inside when she isn't allowed multiple times and methods. It makes the later bits about how they're keeping this slice of the world just for them feel meaningless because they ultimately reward Lyra for her actions and don't hold anything against her like they obviously should. Lyra doesn't even seem to feel any regret for her attempting to do what they were fearing, taking what is theirs for herself and all the world.
While Celestia at least has a good reason for being there, Lyra doesn't have any reason other then selfishness. Given that she doesn't seem to have changed her tune despite knowing what's actually happening says to me she doesn't deserve to be there and should be thrown out. Please, toss her out. Don't reward her for it, otherwise you might as well g8ve everything away to anyone who wants to take it by force.
9909285
If they ever worked in retail with a vapid pop music playlist on endless loop, they'd relish the thought of listening to guitar novices trying to play Stairway as they work. Believe me, I know
9909358
That was indeed a long comment. I think I'm going to have to respond to that in detail at a later date. Some quick responses though: Uhm... see more or the internal of the club while it's open, and Twilight scrying at them, I'm gonna cover both of that, in the same scene.
The point about lots of different kinds of people trying reacting to finding themselves in Equestria, well, I'd recommend Billymorph's story that I've linked to in the description. He's got you covered on that front.
Do you use discord?
9909444
Well, that they come from an alien world is something few of them bother keeping a secret. They don't advertise it, and so most ponies see it as a whacky rumor, so that's not much of a reveal. Glad you like it though
9909543
Thanks. Glad to hear I still got my SoL banter down
9909546
Thank you, both for kind works and for heads-ups
9909555
It wasn't much of a reward, or a reveal. She just got to see the interior of the club, which isn't what they want to keep to themselves- It's their culture they don't want ponies to make their own just yet. And I guess Lyra didn't display a lot of regret, no, but she did display sympathy for their plight there at the end.
Your comment speaks of impulses that the former humans embrace to a degree, but they don't hate the ponies they live among, nor the ones trying to get entrance. They just politely deny them access to their culture.
What, if anything, would change your mind, if you were in their situation? Would you ever grant ponies access? If so, who, and why?
Also, things are developing at this rate because I don't want this to be as long as mlaabq. Don't worry, it remains closed to ponies.
9909610
I never said that they hate ponies or hate living among them, though I do hate the fact that ultimately Lyra suceeded in gaining entrance illegitimately and yet hasn't changed despite now being sympathetic towards humans. She also seems to be expecting that she has "won" somehow and now gets to stay or be admitted with how she says she won't tell anyone what she sees and hears. Her not being regretful is just another reason why she shouldn't be allowed, if she was then it would alleviate her previous qctions somewhat. But that, combined with the fact she was trying to force her way in rather than repeatedly trying to enter or apply to enter via some legitimate method means she has shown via her actions she can't be trusted, and her goals are in opposition to their values.
Really, given this is a private club they don't have to let anyone in, and can be as arbitrary as they like. Celestia and Luna could easily make a case for themselves being admitted. They helped set it up and keep the humans secret, and the one time Celestia has entered has been a social call to talk about them, not her using royal authority to enter during business hours. As for others, really anyone who they decide can enter. But realistically only those who di something for a member or the club to gain their trust or somehow is proven trustworthy, it doesn't necessarily need to be some big act. And of course any spouse or children, even if the spouse in question isn't human.
9909610
S'okay. Respond if you wish whenever you want.
Not regularly. I have an account, but I'm not too familiar with the platform. Though it's not hard to figure out. So, I CAN use Discord if need be, yes. Just not voice chat, if that's what you're asking. I'm uncomfortable with that.
And thanks for the responses! Cheers.
9909610
Heh. I believe it. Why do you think I started driving a truck fir a living? If I have to hear Mariah Carrey's I'll Be Home For Christmas one more time, I'ma lose more than just my composure
I had to look up the jokes.
"No Stairway" is a multi-part inside joke. Stairway To Heaven, Sweet Home Alabama, Smoke on the Water, and Blackbird are some of the most overplayed guitar riffs ever. Music stores ban them in a joking manner, but employees got sick of beginner players playing the same guitar riffs and songs every day. The original joke comes from Wayne's World 1 where Garth is forbidden from playing Stairway in a guitar store. The other part of the joke is that Warner didn't want to pay the outrageous royalties for for a small chord. What's also funny is Led Zeppelin is also being sued because Stairway supposedly stole the riff from another band.
Also, yes: "Lyra... Here's your alien music."
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/21/1137300.png
So is the whole meme-pasword thing just a formality? A pretense to fool the natives?
A recent video I watched had a girl claim the name of Han Solo's ship as "The Enterprise". SO now I'm wondering if somebody's particular interests never intersected with something, would they be turned away? As an example I could not tell you probably even one Metallica song...
9908649
Are you taking suggestions or submissions from readers about Human turned pony OCs for cameos?
9909910
Well, I'm active on discord, and those were a lot of points you brought up, so if you wanna discuss more of them, it might be easier to do so there, rather than in this comment section
9910045
That one is a joy compared to Last Christmas
9910131
I'll give Wayne's World credit for turning the phenomenon into a joke and introducing it to a broader culture, but Stairway being banned was an actual thing before the movie
9910160
It is not strictly about memes, it's just that how it comes across that way a lot of the time. The arrangement really is that Spencer determines if you're familiar with Earth culture, mostly by presenting a setup for a pop culture reference. His special talent help him get it right, and to find the most obscure reference for the even the most oblivious person.
9910259
Sure. Do you have any suggestions?
I guess I'll provide the scenario that's playing out in a scene, and the person who wants their OC in it describes what they'd do in that situation.
9909780
Lyra hasn't gained a permanent entry, and I didn't think I implied that she did. I mean, she might be invited again during the off hours if the protaginists feels like it, but she's not allowed in during business hours, or really anytime their culture is on display. Like I said, it's the culture that ponies aren't allowed to see, the inside of the club isn't a secret. I mean, I assume they'd have to admit inspectors from the fire department and stuff like that, so Lyra isn't the first pony to gain entry during the off hours. Lyra was also never trying to force her way inside, she's only tried getting inside the traditional way, and failed. And like I said, the fact that the humans are aliens isn't the secret, its their art, so her learning that isn't a big deal.
Loving this story :)
I'm imagining small team tasked with finding humans, responding to "ponies acting weird" and checking to see if they're human, and letting them know it's going to be okay.
Nice story, I do like how you are setting up the story so far, keep it up. If I wasn't so swamped with class projects and other prier commissions, I would offer up doing a commission work for you, which sadly I can't at the moment, but it never hurts to promote anyway. If you want to take a look at some of my works, which you might recognize some of them, you can go to the link bellow. Good luck on your story.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku
why not rick roll lyra for the lols
9910310
What's your Discord Tag?
Hey man, I gotta say I am absolutely loving the banter of all the characters. I really appreciated Celly's outlook on the humans' culture and just how overall well-written this whole thing was.
9910310
Sure, you can use mine if you like. Something that could be discussed via PM.
9910474
That would be a cool thing to follow, yeah. Like, a pony agency checking for reports of confused and scared ponies or other creatures that are taken in by boarding houses or who are reporting to hospitals and claim to suffer from delusions and other things like that, and then sending agents to check them take them to Canterlot to a program for helping them settling in.
9910513
Thanks, I'm glad you like it
I do recognise your style, I've definately seen it around. Never been offered a commision before. This is kinda exciting
But don't worry if you're busy. I was actually thinking of just taking a picture of something related by mundane, like one of those posts for velvet ropes, and have that as an image. Kinda Admiral Biscuit style to that
9910528
She's fall for it, but she wouldn't understand it. More appropriate to use that song as a means to scare ponies off
9910628
I'll send you a PM.
9910643
Hey, thanks, glad to hear it. Had some practice with casual banter with my flagship story, and I'm glad to hear I haven't lost it yet
9910676
Yeah. I could also make a blog post about it, to see if anyone else is interested
9911381
That works too.