"Oh, Gallus," Starlight sighed, doing her best to ignore the stinging sensation of her heart swimming in her stomach.
Her efforts, sadly, didn't get her much of anywhere. She'd definitely been here before. In the back of her mind, she knew this day would come, when someone would approach her about problems related to her own life experiences.
She just hadn't expected the snarky griffon kid to do it. Why couldn't it have been another actual supervillain? Where was Cozy Glow when you really needed her? Or Queen Chrysalis? Or, hell, Flurry Heart? Still, painful or not, this was her wheelhouse—and if Starlight Glimmer was anything these days, it was willing to take one for the team. Steeling her nerves, she allowed herself no more than ten seconds to get into mindset.
Five of those seconds were dedicated to recalling many years ago, as she ran after a train pulling out of a station. Her short filly's legs were hardly a match for its gathering speed, which meant that the sight of the orange, red-maned colt pressed against one of its windows became smaller and smaller, as she futilely ran the entire length of the platform, pleading for all she was worth for the train—and the colt aboard it—to come back.
She then took a deep breath, flashing forward... and allowed five more seconds to remember herself crying those same pleas—this time, silently, through sniffles—in a lonely, rain-soaked house, to anyone who would listen... but, most preferably, her parents. Wherever they were. She actually wasn't sure.
With a jolt, Starlight forced herself back to reality. Her ten seconds were up. It was time to do her job.
===
Starlight got up from her desk and walked over to Gallus, who by this time had sat back on the couch, covering his eyes with his wings. He was shaking. Starlight didn't blame him. She was, too.
"Gallus," she said, sitting next to him and pulling his wings away from his eyes, "let me be the first to assure you that you're not a terrible creature. The very fact that you're worried about being one proves you're not. And while the thoughts you're having are..." She searched for the right words. "...less than charitable, losing something or someone that you depended on for happiness, for stability, in life... makes those thoughts a completely natural part of the process of that loss." She smiled. "In other words, you're a lot more normal than you think."
She felt Gallus relax a little, shake less, and did the same. Good. She was getting somewhere.
If only she'd had someone like herself, the back of her mind wondered, when she was dealing with everything and everyone important to her gradually finding reasons to stay away from her. If only she'd had someone like herself to reassure her that how she felt afterwards didn't mean she was petty or ungrateful.
Where would she be now?
Would she be here?
Would she be happy?
Or would she still be "lazy," "spoiled," and "overdramatic"—like everyone so often said?
She looked to Gallus, her eyes widening. There was no way she'd let anyone go through what she did. Never, ever again. The walls tinted pink around the edges. Just slightly.
"Still," Starlight continued slowly, shuffling closer, "I've seen no shortage of ponies come to me who've been where you are. Unable to process... angry at the world... angry at themselves. And utterly sad about their lot in life."
"I mean, it's hardly the worst life," Gallus said, "but things could be better." He scoffed. "They could always be better."
Starlight nodded. "Your feelings aren't terrible Gallus, nor are you. It's perfectly fine to have them. But from here, it doesn't look like you enjoy having them around." She placed her hooves on Gallus's shoulders, her heart churning harder, waves crashing in her stomach.
The pinkness crept further in from the edges, blending in with the blue of her walls to create a very pretty bright shade she'd definitely have to ask Rarity about later.
"What if I told you," she asked the horizon past Gallus's eyes, past her walls, outside and miles away, "that I could help fix that?"
Gallus tilted his head. "Uh... how?"
"My magic specializes in cutie marks," Starlight said, her heart warming as the world around her took on a calming, translucent sheen. "Specifically, their application... and their removal."
No. Glimmer, you're not going to do what I think you are, are you?
Uh....
I... um... o_O
Am I still reading the same fanfic?
Starlight, NO.
Okay, so she's running away from the consequences of her actions. Unfortunately, one of the consequences is feeling bad about said actions, and she can't run away from that, now can she?
9725995
Not sure. What do you think she's doing?
9726140
Falling back on bad habits of using magic as a quick, crutch fix rather than working through a problem and finding a solution that leaves things in a better, healthier place and actually leads to solving the underlying problem.
9726144
Well, I assumed that much. I thought you had something more specific in mind.
This could only end in disaster
Oh NO. I see the train...
...so, does Firelight not exist for the purposes of this story, or am I misreading things?
Only one of two things can happen here
Either Starlight absorbed Gallus's negative emotions into herself (which would explain her break down)
Or she put a Pinkie Pie esque mark on him to make him constantly happy and she's wondering if she did the right thing
Either way I can't wait to see what happens next
Well, she can't be literally going to remove a cutie mark. Gallus doesn't HAVE a mark. So my worst fears are allayed by default. The question is what she'll actually be doing.
I THINK she's about to tell her story to him and how she came around to her equality cult, by framing the whole thing as a hypothetical example. But. Shes' definitely got me a bit worried. This is reading very much like Starlight in 'Mistakes Were Made' mode.
She's still coming from a place of 'be who I needed back in the day' though, so hopefully it won't go that wrong and I'm just overreacting.
Glimglam
Wut r u doin
Glimglam
STAHP
Starlight, didn't that mess when you tried to mind-control your friends teach you that mind- and soul-magic is always a really, really dumb thing to do except in the most extreme circumstances? I mean, it made Twilight mad at you and you know how difficult that is! Doesn't that tell you that this may be a bad idea, even if you don't understand why?