Shining Armor is trying to be a better father. His little filly, Flurry Heart, has grown up so fast... she's almost 16! But things seems to be so distant between the two of them... is there some way that he could regain her love?
3) HIGH/HIGH: Cadence is also somepony who knows Flurry really well… and she’s also an alicorn! Even better… she’s already got a list of presents that she’d like to get for Flurry. Sure, it will be tough as a father to give your little girl something that is essentially giving her the green light to have sex with a boy… but maybe that’s what we need to do to show her how much we respect her maturity level? (405 chance of failure - VERY HIGH reward)
Option 3: Error 405 chance of failure - Method is not allowed.
Odd there are so few comments with so many votes. What I find odd is the High risk nature of something that is going to happen anyway. Looking at the list we see Cadence planning to get these items for Flurry (and shinning as we know). Why is getting them ourselves such a high risk? The most risky thing about that is she will end up with double what Cadence is going to give her anyway. Honestly just be there for her birthday, get her something small as a memento maybe one of our officer coins (assuming equestrian follows U.S military tradition you would recieve coins for the exempilary service shinning shows) and let Cadence give her the gift she planned.
There was an issue with the site - it didn't appear in the update column, and because of that it couldn't get into the updated feature box either. I tried to delete and re-post, which would have maybe fixed things... but unfortunately it didn't work.
I had one more option to delete and wait 24 hours, but I feel like that would be unfair to all of you who have already started reading and commenting.
As to your points: the risk is Shining giving the objects to Flurry... being the dope he is, he might give it to her in the middle of the party.
9694450 Thats fair I just check my tracked updates when I'm bored, saw this and got excited. You honestly deserve the attention so if you want to drop this chapter and re-upload I dont think anyone would be too perturbed.
Maybe he’d be better off trying to get in touch with Twilight Sparkle… seeing if there was a cool archaic and rare spellbook on alicorn power he could give to Flurry…. Or something that she could remember Night Light giving her on her won sixteenth birthday?
Hmmmm it looks like its the last vote. By the rate of increase for 0.5 per med reward it seems that even if first two are sucsess it wont be 10 max 9.5. So the only variant is 3.
But what if that isnt the case. The second option will be best for this one then. But just to be sure gonna go with 3.
The green-furred unicorn colt snarled backward at his sister after one of Fleetfoot’s serves took a particularly incredibly twist, sending the blue unicorn-filly sprawling into the sand.
Incredible*
Also, I would like to make one small request for an edit? This bit here:
“Older than I was…” Flurry muttered.
“Huh?” Shining craned in closer.
“I said: she’s got it worse than her brother…” Flurry blushed and grinned.
We're at 9/10 at this point. I feel like it's not unreasonable for her to just own what she said.
She could divert it so it isn't about Shiny, specifically; maybe something like:
"Younger than I was..."
"Oh, really?"
"Uh... Yeah, well, you know..."
"You mean, like, to Twilight? Really? She's your aunt! She's my sister!"
"Oh, uh, yeah, Twilight. Hey, wait! It's not like you have any toom to talk! Besides, you can't deny, she IS pretty hot."
(Obviously you would want it to be less bad, but that's the general idea)
They literally just got done spying on the detailed sexual tension and fantasies of two complete strangers, as well as talking about Shiny's own masturbatory habits, and shortly later they cause a pair of siblings to fuck, eavesdrop on it, and he sees his daughter get off from it, without even a little bit of awkwardness. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to admit the fact that SHE masturbates too. (Also... Yeah ok fine I thrive on wholesome, emotionally close relationships (weird incest undertones notwithstanding) so I think this kind of straightforward discussion and mutual vulnerability is really hot. sue me)
Looks like we're getting plenty of votes for Twilight. GOOD. This is the optimal choice for several reasons.
1.) Book horse = best horse.
2.) She's removed from the situation, and therefore can give an objective outlook, but is someone Shiny can trust, so he might actually listen.
3.) Maybe she could give some advice about what she got when SHE turned 16
4.) Maybe bonus Shiny x Twilight scene? Probably not, but if he told Cadance he was going to visit her, and she gave her blessing, and and and... Or at least she could tell him about how she is fucking their dad, and let him know she's down if he is interested in the future. Idk, I'm just spitballing really.
Shining stiffened slightly, a blush of his own forming as he surveyed the two arguing siblings. “Uh… huh… well… y’know Flurry… I hate to admit this but when a colt is about fourteen or fifteen they’re pretty horny - sometimes they can have some pretty crazy fantasies…”
Remember what your liege sovereign says, Shining: "there is no wrong way to fantasise". Clopping to thoughts of your little sister is exactly what she was talking about. Literally.
I voted option 2 because I want... no, I need ShiningSparkle clop in this story, even if it's just in flashback or a lurid magic-induced fantasy, and that seems the best way to get it.
I'm still loving this. Interactive fanfic is the future.
We've basically ignored Cadence's advice this whole time except for giving space at the beginning. I guess I'll go with listening to her again. Hope we don't regret it.
At the risk of hilarious shenaniganry - like using the royal stipend to buy an entire redlight shop's-worth of lube, just because we aren't sure what Flurry might like, or what she might use it for - I'm picking number three.
I mean, Twilight is all the way over there, and Cadance is right over here. Plus, we don't want to double-up on Cadance's gifting, so we should coordinate.
...grabbing her by the shoulders wıth his bıgö strong hooves...
You've got some... I don't even know what in there.
We get to put ocs in?oh that is gonna be fun. I throw my changlings at you. Please use shade as you see fit. She's my pic. But I have one rule. She must keep her glasses
Are you all right? You didn't get hurt or anything, did you? At this point I'm not asking because I'm impatient for the story, I'm asking because I haven't heard from you in a while.
I guess it's not really my business, but I want to let you know I hope you're doing ok.
As I was writing this, I realized there was an alternative. So either:
a.) you're experiencing writer's block, actually got hurt/sick/something, in which case I hope you get better, or
b.) this means we hit 10, so the next chapter is the finale and you're just saving it for the end of the month.
9703341 Actually clops have been alive and well just couldnt get from work kinda was busy. Also we are in discord server pretty chill there kinda ded but oh well less than 150ppl. Maybe join. Incest is wincest, yes?
9703341 Hello! I am well and fine, thanks for asking!
No writers block or anything like that, I've been traveling for work to Hong Kong, which makes it really hard to find time to write, because my schedule is totally thrown out of wack and you end up spending so much time doing tourist things.
Good news though: I'm headed back today... And I mostly write while flying... So you'll get the next chapter soon...
I wonder if that brother really did impregnate her sister. No idea if that would end well or terribly for them. What with being teen parents. But that's just me and my issue at looking at things too pessimistically.
On to brighter things, it seems like the dice has been nothing but in our favor. I wonder what would happen if we failed everything up to this point, and amusingly it would be to read Shining being an even bigger idiot and making even worse mistakes.
122 votes - 47%) Let’s use Flurry Heart’s power to have some fun with the two Crystal Empire siblings who are playing!
That was the one I picked too.
“Something interesting to you?” Shining whispered in Flurry’s left ear.
Now that you mention it... yes.
“Dad! I…” Flurry looked left and right, no ponies were in earshot as long as she kept her voice down. “...I dunno, I don’t like to… share what I can see, it doesn’t fell… right.”
Two errors in one sentence. You didn't space your first set of ellipses properly and you said fell instead of feel.
“Well…” Flurry swallowed nervously, tapping her two forehooves together. “Um… Topaz has… uh… well… sometimes he - imagines his little sister when he’s… uh… being private.”
Jeez... it was only a matter of time before your need to make everyone want to fuck each other for the sake of genre start undermining the premise. At least I got over halfway through instead of halfway through chapter 1 before I learned that fact. Looking at you, Any Landing....
“pffffft!”
Capitalize this.
emotions!? Oh no…
“N-n-no! Never!”
Mind this gap.
“S-sorry… colts are… a strange bunch.” Shining hung his head in shame. He hadn’t thought about Twilight like that for… years!
And by years he means seconds in Cloppy's black hole time.
“Well… actually.” Flurry blushed. “I don’t think you should discount just how we fillies can get. I know one particular filly who… uh…” Flurry stammered slightly, her confidence faltering, “Who… clops to the… uh… mental image… of a family member.”
“Really? That little filly?” Shining asked incredulously. “She looks like she’s barely fourteen!”
“Older than I was…” Flurry muttered.
You don't want to know how old Roseluck was on her first time out. She didn't have a black hole either!
“I said: she’s got it worse than her brother…” Flurry blushed and grinned. “That little filly imagines her brother plowing her every night, though she’d never admit it.”
I'm actually starting to feel something! Does this mean we're getting brother-sister? Because that would make me a very happy Aficionado.
Flurry grinned… and began to charge her horn with pink energy.
God damn it! Someone else in the comments did this joke already!
“Maybe that has something to do with the fact we were playing the top-ranked team on the planet?”
I don't know anything about volleyball but in baseball, an error is considered to be "unforced" meaning you done goofed.
It was her first ever kiss, and she could only groan as her brother’s tongue slipped inside her teeth, wrestling with hers even as his forehoof gripped the back of her head with passion. It felt like he was sucking all the emotional energy out of her… while also giving her all of his… creating a sum that was more than the parts.
That was a rather pretty way of conveying that scene! Add a hyphen to first-ever.
Her nose was bumped up against something slick, hot, and throbbing. A press of something wet and wriggling against her clenching fillyhood made her mewl and straighten with sensation.
‘Topaz’s tongue is in my pussy!’ The thought alone made her eyes shoot open with happy surprise… and that’s when she saw it.
I didn't think you had it in you! You just wrote sex between a 10,???-year-old and a 10014-year-old! Way to go, Cloppy!
“O-oh! S-sorry!” Flurry blushed, taking a step to the side away from him, her eyes looking under his body and probably seeing his half-erect monster.
I do love nitpicking at your uncertain narration because I'm a complete asshole but in this case, it's actually damaging. So is he seeing his dick or not? This is just needlessly confusing matters.
“Y-YES! BIG BROTHER…. YES!!!”
Sapphire’s little butt was up high in the air, her chest down on the tent floor. Her brother had mounted her with wild abandon, placing one of his green hooves right between her shoulder-blades., pressing her down into the ground with a lusty lack of inhibition that would have made his feral horse-ancestors proud.
I'm proud of you, me boyo! I'm proud... now delete that period you put before the comma.
“S-Saffy…Y-you're…. So… bucking… y-yes!” Topaz groaned out from between his little sister’s tail, clenched tightly in his teeth.
I think you meant "behind".
Rushed as a lot of this is, I'm still really enjoying this!
The little blue filly-pussy was strained to its limit to accept her brother’s colthood. Sapphire’s pink clit winked in and out with excitement as her brother rutted her without much skill… but plenty of youthful exuberance.
I really didn't think you were going there! I guess that explains why you have so many downvotes. Hey, they're still post-pubescent so it's all good!
Shining watched with amazement as the filly went transparent before his eyes, not unlike what had happened during FLurry’s crystalling all those years ago.
Fix Flurry's name. You still haven't fixed Cadance's name, by the way. A, not E. Don't make me come over there with a ruler!
Her whole body sparkled with blue sapphire magic, the clear view letting Shining see the pink end of her brother’s cock driving in and out of the little filly’s vagina, kissing against her womb time and time again.
Amazing concept, probably rushed this writing through a bit too fast, though. I've seen you do a hell of a lot better with womb-punching.
“S-SAFFY! I’M… I’M GONNA!” Her big brother moaned, his thrusts coming slow and more powerfully, driving deep into his sister’s snatch.
“Inside! Insiiiiiiiiiideunnnghhh……” Sapphire’s command became a long drawn out groan as her brother went transparent as well, his flare expanding deep inside his little sister’s clenching fillyhood, firmly rooting himself in place as he dumped his virile, creamy batter into her fertile womb, filling her transparent uterus up with seed.
There's no actual description on whether or not he pushes through the cervix, just that the womb was filled. Letdown...
After a quick bluish
Blush!
“D-dad!” Flurry squeaked, waving a hoof at him with an embarrassed huff. “All I did was get two siblings into a world of trouble… that filly might even be pre-”
She is pregnant. She must be pregnant! Think of the children!
FOR FLURRY ON HER BIRTHDAY: -Neighctoria’s Secret underwear - black and lacy! -Estrus control - protection spell tablet - (or should I?) -Vitality potions - he’ll need them! -Lube, lube, lube - she’ll need it!
I ain't answering that! That's fucking terrible!
2) MEDIUM/MEDIUM: Let’s go ask Twilight Sparkle what would be a good gift for Flurry Heart. She’s a fantastic aunt…and an alicorn! Surely she must have some idea! Maybe she got something special on her sixteenth birthday? It’s Twilight, what possible risk is there of her doing something silly or unexpected that would have negative ramifications? (30% chance of failure - MED reward)
This one here. I want to see how you write Twilight Sparkle when you aren't mentioning her in passing.
Option 3: Error 405 chance of failure - Method is not allowed.
I vote we go big or go home fuck the carefulness we go fucking nuts boys!
Odd there are so few comments with so many votes. What I find odd is the High risk nature of something that is going to happen anyway. Looking at the list we see Cadence planning to get these items for Flurry (and shinning as we know). Why is getting them ourselves such a high risk? The most risky thing about that is she will end up with double what Cadence is going to give her anyway. Honestly just be there for her birthday, get her something small as a memento maybe one of our officer coins (assuming equestrian follows U.S military tradition you would recieve coins for the exempilary service shinning shows) and let Cadence give her the gift she planned.
If we pick option 2 we have a chance of getting to know more juicy details of what Night Light was talking about from the first chapter.
Heck of a job, Clops.
9694436
Hey Liquid!
There was an issue with the site - it didn't appear in the update column, and because of that it couldn't get into the updated feature box either. I tried to delete and re-post, which would have maybe fixed things... but unfortunately it didn't work.
I had one more option to delete and wait 24 hours, but I feel like that would be unfair to all of you who have already started reading and commenting.
As to your points: the risk is Shining giving the objects to Flurry... being the dope he is, he might give it to her in the middle of the party.
9694447
Thanks bud!
Was going to pick option 3, the HIGH risk option, for once, until I saw the way you worded it in the poll. Nopeity fucking nope.
9694450
Thats fair I just check my tracked updates when I'm bored, saw this and got excited. You honestly deserve the attention so if you want to drop this chapter and re-upload I dont think anyone would be too perturbed.
Talking to twilight is my vote
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/256/183/9d5.png
9692633
Oh, ok. The rest had been every day, so I didn't realize that wasn't the pace you had wanted in the first place
This can only end well.
Hmmmm it looks like its the last vote. By the rate of increase for 0.5 per med reward it seems that even if first two are sucsess it wont be 10 max 9.5. So the only variant is 3.
But what if that isnt the case. The second option will be best for this one then. But just to be sure gonna go with 3.
Hey there clops, found a mistake in the chapter here it is. Awesome Interaction story you're having here, I love it.
The green-furred unicorn colt snarled backward at his sister after one of Fleetfoot’s serves took a particularly incredibly twist, sending the blue unicorn-filly sprawling into the sand.
Incredible*
Also, I would like to make one small request for an edit? This bit here:
“Older than I was…” Flurry muttered.
“Huh?” Shining craned in closer.
“I said: she’s got it worse than her brother…” Flurry blushed and grinned.
We're at 9/10 at this point. I feel like it's not unreasonable for her to just own what she said.
She could divert it so it isn't about Shiny, specifically; maybe something like:
"Younger than I was..."
"Oh, really?"
"Uh... Yeah, well, you know..."
"You mean, like, to Twilight? Really? She's your aunt! She's my sister!"
"Oh, uh, yeah, Twilight. Hey, wait! It's not like you have any toom to talk! Besides, you can't deny, she IS pretty hot."
(Obviously you would want it to be less bad, but that's the general idea)
They literally just got done spying on the detailed sexual tension and fantasies of two complete strangers, as well as talking about Shiny's own masturbatory habits, and shortly later they cause a pair of siblings to fuck, eavesdrop on it, and he sees his daughter get off from it, without even a little bit of awkwardness. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to admit the fact that SHE masturbates too. (Also... Yeah ok fine I thrive on wholesome, emotionally close relationships (weird incest undertones notwithstanding) so I think this kind of straightforward discussion and mutual vulnerability is really hot. sue me)
Looks like we're getting plenty of votes for Twilight. GOOD. This is the optimal choice for several reasons.
1.) Book horse = best horse.
2.) She's removed from the situation, and therefore can give an objective outlook, but is someone Shiny can trust, so he might actually listen.
3.) Maybe she could give some advice about what she got when SHE turned 16
4.) Maybe bonus Shiny x Twilight scene? Probably not, but if he told Cadance he was going to visit her, and she gave her blessing, and and and... Or at least she could tell him about how she is fucking their dad, and let him know she's down if he is interested in the future. Idk, I'm just spitballing really.
5.) Book horse best horse
405 chance of failure.
Do iiiiiiiiiiiit!
Twilight has lots of lessons to impart!
go with 2 he might get some twi with a side of flurry
Aww, twins didn't win...
9694605
Thanks TD! As always you're catching bugs and bring an awesome reader. Thanks!!!
Yeah, going with Twilight.
Man, its gonna be so sad when this is over. The whole voting system is a surprisingly fun gimmick.
Remember what your liege sovereign says, Shining: "there is no wrong way to fantasise". Clopping to thoughts of your little sister is exactly what she was talking about. Literally.
I voted option 2 because I want... no, I need ShiningSparkle clop in this story, even if it's just in flashback or a lurid magic-induced fantasy, and that seems the best way to get it.
I'm still loving this. Interactive fanfic is the future.
My vote is Twilight!
I dunno about 2, I feel like this late in the game it's time to go big or go home. Welp I made my choice.
Another vote for Twilight!
We've basically ignored Cadence's advice this whole time except for giving space at the beginning. I guess I'll go with listening to her again. Hope we don't regret it.
3
2)
asking Twilight for help is a good idea
At the risk of hilarious shenaniganry - like using the royal stipend to buy an entire redlight shop's-worth of lube, just because we aren't sure what Flurry might like, or what she might use it for - I'm picking number three.
I mean, Twilight is all the way over there, and Cadance is right over here. Plus, we don't want to double-up on Cadance's gifting, so we should coordinate.
You've got some... I don't even know what in there.
Will the alternate paths be explained further at the end or made available as some sort of DLC?
9696070
Thanks Shah, I think Zalgo was bleeding into my PC.
We get to put ocs in?oh that is gonna be fun. I throw my changlings at you. Please use shade as you see fit. She's my pic. But I have one rule. She must keep her glasses
Ok, we're at 287 votes, and very few days left... Time for a new chapter?
Whoopsy doopsy, we got a typo here!
Si Puer Cum Puellula...
Haha~! In time to vote!! You can tell people went for ‘that’ choice for an interesting conversation/lewd lore than the percentages.
Hey, uh. It's been several days now.
Are you all right? You didn't get hurt or anything, did you? At this point I'm not asking because I'm impatient for the story, I'm asking because I haven't heard from you in a while.
I guess it's not really my business, but I want to let you know I hope you're doing ok.
As I was writing this, I realized there was an alternative. So either:
a.) you're experiencing writer's block, actually got hurt/sick/something, in which case I hope you get better, or
b.) this means we hit 10, so the next chapter is the finale and you're just saving it for the end of the month.
Either way, I hope to hear from you soon
9703341
Actually clops have been alive and well just couldnt get from work kinda was busy. Also we are in discord server pretty chill there kinda ded but oh well less than 150ppl. Maybe join. Incest is wincest, yes?
9703341
Hello! I am well and fine, thanks for asking!
No writers block or anything like that, I've been traveling for work to Hong Kong, which makes it really hard to find time to write, because my schedule is totally thrown out of wack and you end up spending so much time doing tourist things.
Good news though: I'm headed back today... And I mostly write while flying... So you'll get the next chapter soon...
And we'll be right on track for month end!
I wonder if that brother really did impregnate her sister. No idea if that would end well or terribly for them. What with being teen parents. But that's just me and my issue at looking at things too pessimistically.
On to brighter things, it seems like the dice has been nothing but in our favor. I wonder what would happen if we failed everything up to this point, and amusingly it would be to read Shining being an even bigger idiot and making even worse mistakes.
Ah. So that's where Shake's vote went to!
That was the one I picked too.
Now that you mention it... yes.
Two errors in one sentence. You didn't space your first set of ellipses properly and you said fell instead of feel.
Jeez... it was only a matter of time before your need to make everyone want to fuck each other for the sake of genre start undermining the premise. At least I got over halfway through instead of halfway through chapter 1 before I learned that fact. Looking at you, Any Landing....
Capitalize this.
Mind this gap.
And by years he means seconds in Cloppy's black hole time.
i.pinimg.com/originals/5a/0d/7b/5a0d7bbd399ece2a70ade234abb11e96.jpg
You don't want to know how old Roseluck was on her first time out. She didn't have a black hole either!
I'm actually starting to feel something! Does this mean we're getting brother-sister? Because that would make me a very happy Aficionado.
God damn it! Someone else in the comments did this joke already!
I don't know anything about volleyball but in baseball, an error is considered to be "unforced" meaning you done goofed.
That was a rather pretty way of conveying that scene! Add a hyphen to first-ever.
I didn't think you had it in you! You just wrote sex between a 10,???-year-old and a 10014-year-old! Way to go, Cloppy!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/6/17/918872.gif
For he's a Cloppy me boyo! For he's a Cloppy me boyo! For he's a Cloppy me boyooooooooo~ ... That nobrony can deny!
That's a strange turn-on but it's working in this context!
Yes. It feels good, man!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/12/25/1052413.png
I do love nitpicking at your uncertain narration because I'm a complete asshole but in this case, it's actually damaging. So is he seeing his dick or not? This is just needlessly confusing matters.
I'm proud of you, me boyo! I'm proud... now delete that period you put before the comma.
I think you meant "behind".
Rushed as a lot of this is, I'm still really enjoying this!
I really didn't think you were going there! I guess that explains why you have so many downvotes. Hey, they're still post-pubescent so it's all good!
Fix Flurry's name. You still haven't fixed Cadance's name, by the way. A, not E. Don't make me come over there with a ruler!
Amazing concept, probably rushed this writing through a bit too fast, though. I've seen you do a hell of a lot better with womb-punching.
There's no actual description on whether or not he pushes through the cervix, just that the womb was filled. Letdown...
Blush!
She is pregnant. She must be pregnant! Think of the children!
I ain't answering that! That's fucking terrible!
This one here. I want to see how you write Twilight Sparkle when you aren't mentioning her in passing.
Fleetfoot...? I thought it was Cloud Kicker...