As Luna floated through the dreamscape her mind was increasingly occupied by the conversation that would ensue shortly. She had but a short time before meeting with Celestia over ‘Dinfast’, the meal where they could both converse without too much stress as the day ended and the night began. After that discussion they’d summon Shifting Sands to hopefully purge the disturbing side-effects of his timeless existence.
That poor pony, I am amazed he hasn’t gone mad. If not for my sister and the Elements I don’t know how I could have adjusted to the modern culture and…everything.
Without them, I certainly couldn’t have coped with the loss of everycreature I ever knew.
Shaking her head, Luna felt a strange awareness prick at her consciousness, and the Alicorn’s eyes narrowed.
A nightmare? No…what is this?
Diving into the dream, Luna immediately could tell whose it was; both by the odd mix of signals and the fact it originated from the guest room of the Palace.
Shifting, what is going on?
The world resolved itself into a simple field, a few distant trees lining the peaceful scene as snow-capped mountains soared into the sky. In a small clearing, a familiar tan stallion lay seemingly asleep. The outlines of ponies trotted around him, some bringing barely-visible meals to set next to Shifting, others draping blankets over the prone unicorn that also vanished into thin air.
Standing over the strange scene was the most curious pony Luna had ever seen. Easily five times the size of the other stallion, it shared Shifting’s brown colorations but had streaks of dark shadow that moved and swarmed over its frame, like storm clouds gathering in a valley.
Most telling of all however, was that the stallion’s eyes glowed a familiar red. Yet somehow the menacing appearance was softened by the peaceful expression on the pony’s face.
“Ah. Luna, is this from my mind? Or are you the real version. Princess Luna I suppose; I must maintain formality if real, sorry,” the large pony mused, looking her way.
“I am quite real, and who are you?” Luna asked cautiously.
The pony tilted his head curiously, gesturing calmly to the sleeping stallion. “Shifting Sands, Private- no, ex-private of the Lunar Knights. You know all that of course. I am he, or…me. Apologies. This is odd. I have never conversed with anyone other than myself when like this.”
Luna blinked, staring at two ponies in surprise. “I do not understand. Thou art dreaming? Lucidly or otherwise, are you not?”
Shifting’s doppelganger nodded, letting out a tired sigh. “This is partial lucidity in terms of dreams. I am a creation of my own mind, one of the few static figures in my life for the past millennium. With lucid dreaming I was able to create another entity of sorts, an advanced version of talking to myself. I’m at a half-way point of dreaming and lucidity I suppose.”
“And those ponies?” Luna asked, gesturing to the ghostly frames of the individuals that seemed to be comforting the prone Shifting Sands.
“The hundreds of ponies who have shown me kindness, yet I have trouble remembering their faces. This is one of the few times I can remember their acts, when I’m halfway between completely dreaming and lucidity. I can feel the times I was actually cared for, the few times I’ve felt anything…before it all vanished.”
The pony’s eyes then narrowed and clouds darkened overhead in an instant. The sleeping form of Shifting now grumbled, limbs spasming in distress as the ghostly ponies faded. Dark shadows began to creep into the peaceful scene, tendrils snuffing out any light where they touched.
“And yet for these moments of comfort, I can be my own worst enemy. My own mind will explain the brutal truths I am too scared to confront at times, laying out the harsh realities when I would seek to hide from them. I can be my own best friend in this realm, talking over self-reflections I have. Yet at times, things will-”
“Cease this, nightmares have no place here!” Luna barked, horn charging with magic as the tell-tale signs began to creep into her awareness. To her surprise, the pony looked at her almost sorrowfully.
“That will not do anything just yet, but I fear you are right,” Shifting sighed, massive head shaking slowly.
“But it is comforting to know you are watching over me, if only-” the apparition hissed, clutching his head. Fading into wisps of shadow Shifting’s copy vanished, and the beautiful scenery began to run together like a tainted watercolor painting.
Thousands of faces now blurred by, speeding past the two ponies faster than the eye could see, the only color amid complete inky blackness. The normal-sized Shifting Sands stirred, letting out a shaky sigh. “N-no,’ Shifting whispered, now sitting up and watching the faces all merge together into a multicolored stream that was without shape or form.
“Gone. Every creature I’ve known lost to the wind and I can’t even remember their names. It’s hidden behind some foul curtain, just out of reach. Did I ever really care for them then if I forgot them so easily? Was I ever really their friend if that was the case? Did they deserve a pony in their life who would forget them so easily, even though-”
“Shifting,” Luna’s tone was calm yet commanding, causing the scenery around them to freeze. Her horn ignited with a light blue aura, easing the dreamscape into a peaceful path. “Sleep, and be at peace.”
The stallion nodded, tearful eyes looking to Luna as the world spun back to the relaxing field, Luna leaving the now-stable dream to return to the mortal realm.
It was only after the Princess was in her own room, that she shook her head as her eyes filled with unshed tears.
Shifting, what dark thoughts have you convinced yourself of?
No, what things have you come to believe yourself? Things that we too once thought…
Levering herself upright, Luna meandered down the hall, catching Celestia on her way to freshen up before their nightly meal. “Lulu! I was just-Luna?”
Pressing her head against her sister’s shoulder Luna let out a sad breath. “Shifting’s dream was…disturbing. I feel he has convinced himself of some lies woven from his own doubts.”
“Hmm?”
As Luna relayed the dream, she was shocked to see Celestia take a surprised breath.
The Night Princess was even more surprised to see her sister lean on her now, sides shaking as long-buried emotion now surged forth at such a rare prompting.
“That is indeed a lie, a corrosive and destructive one at that. There were times I believed it while you were gone before I was able see the absurdity of it all. You helped with that the most, those times we talked after your return.
Luna nodded, smiling gently. “I remember. I too began to worry about the thought of it all.”
“And yet you say Shifting seems to have let those thoughts run wild, at least enough to spur an immediate nightmare. We had each other; we have each other. We are able to share our grief and break apart that lie if it returns. But who has this pony had?”
Simply shaking her head, Luna sighed, the pair breaking apart to meander the halls before their meal. “Himself in his own mind. I feel that is how Shifting has remained somewhat stable. He has only been able to see himself as permanent, yet that has clearly had unintended side effects. An echo chamber in which any diseased thought can eat away at the mind.”
The Alicorns didn’t speak much more of the matter as they got ready for their separate duties- one to retire for the evening, the other just getting started with her night. Luna’s thoughts began to turn to a more positive note, namely, of how to help their guest.
“You want to make Shifting what?” Celestia stared at her sister, Luna sporting a rather proud grin as they ate Dinfast together. While the dream event was still at the back of their minds, Luna’s proposal had caught Celestia off guard enough to shift the mood to a much more hopeful, if not incredulous, tone.
“You heard me, he’s the perfect fit! Have you seen the resume he wrote up? Can you think of anypony, nay, anycreature better suited for the task? My guards are woefully undertrained, as I have disturbingly discovered. They need a Drill Sergeant to get them back up to combat readiness at the very least,” Luna replied, prompting a raised eyebrow from her sister.
“Oh?”
“Indeed. It seems in their traitorous attempts my own Captain of the Guard neglected all other aspects in her deadly preparations. My guards have apparently been operating on autopilot, conducting their own training with mixed results. I fear I placed far too much trust in my Captain and am now and reaping the consequences of not being more involved. The numbers have been steadily falling over the years and now I am left with an untrained and disorganized force. My traitorous captain seemed to have ensnared the highest-ranking guards into her plot.”
Celestia sighed, rubbing a hoof against her temple as she scanned the parchment thoroughly.
The very, very long parchment. “Alright, Lulu, I admit this is extremely impressive. But that much responsibility? And you barely know him! And not to mention of the clear…coping issues.”
Luna nodded, waving a hoof dismissively. “And yet we know enough. The librarians verified many of his deeds from old newspaper clippings and the like, at least the ones intact. His name is indeed on many charities and old town registers for Sheriff, Guardspony, and a few mentions of Drill Instructor for local garrisons. And Sister, he did save my life. I knew Knife Twist for many years yet she was all too eager to betray me. It is not like we are starting him out with too much responsibility. Nay, a few basic tasks at first, especially with the trials besetting him for now. It will give him something to do, something familiar, and hopefully assist him in adjusting.”
The Solar Princess sighed, looking over the neatly drawn-up plan Luna had presented to her. “This is quite a lengthy plan and has some rather lofty goals for this pony, Lulu. And if he refuses?”
Luna shrugged, munching on a strawberry in thought. “Then he is free to go. This is just a proposal after all, one I think he will find most fitting. Shifting Sands said himself, he felt most ‘alive’ when helping and defending ponies. Can you not think of a better fit? He clearly lacks the hesitation some, nay, many guards have nowadays towards combat, and has the training experience born of hundreds of years! We will of course try the grounding spell first, and progressively see what he desires from this plan after he adjusts for a time.”
Celestia let out a defeated breath, a slight smile on her features. “If this is your decision, then I fully support it. It makes sense to me now why you didn’t ask him to renounce his ancient Lunar Knight vows- and no, don’t think I missed that detail,” Celestia chuckled, then nodding slowly.
“I would advise easing him into it though and I fully agree with a trial period of some basic training tasks. The grounding exercise alone will likely wipe him out for some time. With traumatized ponies, that usually takes a few days to recover; I can’t imagine what centuries of suppressed emotion will do to him.”
“We will advise him of that, and proceed however he feels most comfortable,” Luna replied, now eating a hole in her pancake and pushing her muzzle through, sticking her tongue out at her sister.
Celestia giggled, levitating two blueberries over to stick them on the pancake as fake eyes. “Quite a fashion statement, dear sister. Now then, shall we go help our strange guest? Apparently, he has been quite amicable, and has given the guards no trouble at all. He ate his meals, and slept most of the day after writing that resume. It appears he is mostly nocturnal too, or at least can vary his schedule.”
Luna nodded, the two rulers meandering down the halls towards the guest room after finishing their meal. The two royal guards outside the door saluted, and promptly opened the doors.
The stallion in question turned around, promptly bowing as the rulers couldn’t help but smile.
“Rise, Shifting Sands, and follow us please,” Luna remarked, such an impeccable display bordering on amusement.
Yet it remained respectful all the same.
Once again clad in his strange armor Shifting simply nodded, trotting out and following the two rulers down the halls.
“How are you feeling today? Yesterday was quite an interesting one to say the least. We would have fetched you sooner, but heard you slept mostly during the day,” Luna asked, prompting the stallion to look over in curiosity.
“Better, your Highness, thank you. And I can shift my schedule as much as needed, but as you said, yesterday was…interesting. Sleep offered some relief, at least for a time. Thank you by the way,” he explained, Luna letting out a soft hum in reply.
“You are most welcome, and are glad to hear it. Where we are going now is to one of the spell chambers. My sister and I may be able to lift the clouds that obscure thy mind so often. Sister?” the Night Princess said, then glancing over for Celestia to continue.
“The spell is used for traumatized ponies nowadays, and is a form of grounding. It re-energizes the magical pathways of a creature and assists in releasing suppressed emotion of a sort. It has shown remarkable success in assisting others come to terms with various events. We believe a form of this spell can break you from the ‘blinks’, as you called them, and end the strange disconnect you feel, if you are open to try.”
A sharp gasp hissed from Shifting’s mouth, the stallion staring at each of them in shock. “Really? Y-yes, of course! That, is possible? I thought it part of the curse…”
Luna shook her head sadly, letting out a sobering sigh. “Nay. We underwent similar adjustments for a year or two when we first adjusted to agelessness when ruling. Time was a fickle thing and emotion was strange to comprehend. We thought but a moment passed, yet it had been a day, and any feelings we had were like mist on the wind. We believe you simply have not been able to adjust to such a timeless existence. Your mind was that of a mortal pony, not aided by the usual magics present during an ascension. That, we believe, is what has caused the strange passage of time for you as well as the emotional barrier. This spell should allow you to break from both of those,” Luna explained, then stopping to look at Shifting with a guarded gaze.
“But be warned, Shifting Sands. If you accept this help, the repercussions could be difficult. Many individuals are emotionally unsettled for the better part of a few days. You have not a single event to come to terms with, but a millennium of existence. The effects will likely be exaggerated and long term. The ‘fuzziness’ you experience will be lifted, but the emotional impact of your entire life, or at least that affected by the Paw, will come back in full force.”
Shifting lowered his gaze, brow furrowed as he then nodded. “I understand, but still would like to proceed. I’ll accept being a complete wreck for a decade as a fair price to be able to feel everything fully again, to feel like I’m living in the present instead of on a speeding train,” he stated, head perking up as Luna gave him a gentle pat with a wing, the three then proceeding on once again.
“I doubt it will be that long, Shifting Sands,” Celestia interjected with a slight smile. “It will be the most difficult at first, but then normalize as your mind adjusts to the new reality. We believe you have been living in this ‘transition’ stage for some time, so it should, in theory, adjust naturally. You will have many tools at your disposal to cope however; the finest therapists in the castle, or speaking with us for a time, if you’d prefer.”
Neither ruler missed how the Unicorn’s ears perked up at that, Shifting immediately glancing to Luna. “You will let me speak with you? To help cope with all of this?” he asked, seeming both confused and slightly in awe.
“Of course. To say your situation is unique is a gross understatement. We certainly could find a few moments to help you adjust,” Luna added, not able to resist a smile at seeing the stallion’s entire demeanor soften slightly.
“I’d greatly appreciate that,” he whispered, eyes then turning to look at the stained-glass windows that dotted the current hall they traversed.
“Hmmm. The elements; such a new thing, and more useful than sword or spell at times,” Shifting mused to himself as they walked. The stallion’s words now seemed muted and without emotional connection, as though he was watching the passing of a theatre performance.
“Here, Shifting.”
Luna directed him down a side room, the barren stone hallway then opening up into a massive domed area. Bookshelves lined the walls, and thin glass slits throughout the curved roof allowed light to shine softly throughout the room. The floor was barren, save for a massive circular stone platform in the center.
Shifting paused at the edge of the platform, his ears pinning back briefly. “This is a place of powerful magic, I can still sense the residue of many spells long since cast. This grounding spell is going to be quite an ordeal, huh?” he asked, as though the entirety of the situation was finally registering.
“The spell itself is not complicated at all, a magical jump-start if you will. It has been tried and tested hundreds, if not thousands of times, from incidents as small as a traumatic childhood fear, to soldiers who have returned from rare but brutal instances of combat, and is formally recognized by the general health board. The amount of power we are using however, is well above normal,” Luna elaborated.
“Can you please explain exactly what I can expect, as best you can?” Shifting questioned, hopping up onto the platform cautiously.
“It will be a tingle, a rush of magical energy, and then a pressure all over you body. It will then focus on your horn or head in general, where you may experience a bit of pain for a moment. It will then pass, and it will be complete. Most ponies don’t even notice anything other than a strange, full body-buzzing, but I suspect those greater effects will occur for you,” Celestia said.
“Afterwards, you will be…erm, how best to describe it?” the Solar Princess mused.
“Bluntly. Please,” Shifting piped up, prompting a hint of a smile from Luna.
“You will be emotionally vulnerable and a nigh unstable. Not acting without restraint, but subject to the full swing of feeling you have been lacking. A millennium of bottled up experiences and realizations will hit you at once, and so mood swings will be very common,” Luna added with a nod to Celestia.
Shifting nodded, his brow furrowing with a sigh. “I suppose that makes sense. And you said that my mind just hasn’t adjusted to this…ageless-ness? Is that why I can feel things somewhat, but everything at times feels numb? I can’t remember the last time I laughed without restraint,” the stallion said, the thought causing him to shiver slightly.
“I’ve dwelt on that thought often, and it still continues to disturb me, nearly as much as not being able to feel like I’m living in the present, everything speeding by at times.”
“You are correct. In trying to comprehend the lack of age, your mind has defended itself by dulling your existence in both emotion and time. In effect, it was protecting you from an adjustment that never came,” Luna concluded, as Shifting sighed.
“Well. I wish to apologize in advance for sobbing in any hallways, throwing a dinner plate against a wall, or any other strange occurrence that will result from this,” he muttered, prompting an amused titter from each princess.
“Even if such is to occur, you are well forgiven in advance. Now then, are you ready?” Luna asked.
Shifting nodded, then raising a hoof in question. “May I return here as I am adjusting? I have some spells that I have used to provide myself comfort over the years, but don’t wish to alarm anypony.”
“Such as?” Celestia asked cautiously.
“Leyline connections, self-mediation spells, that sort of thing. Old magic in which many unicorns, kirins, and other species ‘communed’ with the land, if I can best describe it. Their language was rather difficult to process, being far-removed Monks,” Shifting admitted, prompting a nod in return.
“We would wish to see these magic methods before you employ them at length, but that seems fine,” Luna replied, taking her place a short distance from Celestia.
“I’m ready then, and your Highnesses? Thank you,” Shifting stated, taking a low and ready stance in the center of the platform, almost as though he was bracing for a blow.
“You are most welcome. Now, close your eyes please,” Luna instructed, her horn charging with magic as Celestia did the same.
The stallion shivered as the two Alicorns enveloped his frame with a glowing white mist, the tendrils of magic burrowing into his core.
A pained grunt then slid out from behind the unicorn’s clenched teeth, his head shaking slightly.
“Are you able to continue, Shifting?” Luna called, prompting a nod.
“Painful. Bad migraine. Continue,” he hissed, swaying slightly as the spell proceeded.
His head bowed down slightly as the mist around the stallion’s body hummed with power- and then the noise and light seemed to crescendo-And then it vanished, leaving the unicorn standing on the steaming stone platform.
“Well that was rather anticlimactic, other than the pain. The pressure was nothing,” Shifting mused, stepping down on shaking legs. “And the odd fatigue…hmm.”
Luna and Celestia looked to each other, the stallion’s words now seeming clear and genuine, and his brown eyes were now sharp and keen as he glanced to each of them before Shifting bowed his head. “Thank you both, I suppose now I wait for the after effects…I assumed they would be immediate. Things feel a bit different though, but nothing too drastic.”
Luna’s eyes widened in surprise, her sister blinking slowly as the stallion spoke. “Are you sure you are alright, Shifting?” Luna asked the stallion cautiously.
“I feel rather odd, as though something is slowly welling up, but otherwise ok. Why are you two looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Because you are crying.”
The stallion looked to the ground, and then seeing the steady stream of tears trickling from his face, swiped a forehoof across his eyes. The gesture did nothing to stem the steady river that flowed from his cheeks.
Only now did emotion twinge at his features, Shifting’s jaw clenching as his rump hit the floor with a thud, hind legs giving out. “I suppose I a-am…”
Looking to each other, Luna tossed her head to Celestia, the Solar Princess taking her leave silently. “Is there anything we, or I can do for you, Shifting? Do you wish to stay here for now?” Luna asked cautiously, prompting a shrug from the confused stallion.
“I would greatly appreciate it if you could stay, Princess Luna, if for but a moment.” Shifting’s ears flattened to his skull, the stallion looking away as though ashamed. “I’ve always found the moon and stars to be comforting, your presence as well, the few times we’ve met before. So…” his words drifted off with a slight shrug.
The alicorn nodded, eyes widening in slight surprise at his words, but agreed, sitting down next to the unicorn as soft sobs began to wrack his frame. He didn’t say anything at first, but the invisible weight pressing down on his shoulders was nearly palpable.
Shifting looked over to her ever so briefly, a hopeful idea seeming to spark- but he then seemed to think better of what thought passed through his consciousness.
Taking a guess, Luna scooted closer and spread a wing over Shifting’s shoulders, the slightly smaller pony’s head shaking slightly. “I t-thought it inappropriate,” he whispered, prompting a sad smile from Luna.
“We assumed such thoughts, but it is not, and clearly needed.”
No more words were said for a time, tears trickling steadily down Shifting Sand’s face as he leaned on Luna’s shoulder. The weight seemed to lift from Shifting’s shoulders slightly as he leaned against her side, a simple touch of companionship seeming to offer a bit of relief. He finally voiced a question that both made Luna’s own throat close with emotion, and gave heavy insight as to what tormented the stallion so.
“They’re all gone, aren’t they? Everycreature I’ve known over the past thousand years, they’ve really gone to dust, and yet I’m still here. Save the few; you, your sister, perhaps a few dragons, everycreature else is but ash. And yet I…”
Her response was as brief as the Alicorn could make it, not trusting her own words to remain as stoic as they needed to be at that moment. She had asked the same question to her own sister years ago, as tears had flooded down her cheeks on the week of her return. Luna’s words were similar to Celestia’s response then, and she hoped they would give as much solidarity as they had to her.
“Yes, and we remain to ensure their legacy lives on.”
Another great chapter looking forward to the next!
I have voted on Tia and here unasked is my two bits worth on Luna
Luna and Sands would work well together.
reasons.
1 Both have had the fact that everypony that they knew is gone. Luna got this like a slap in the face when she returned. Sands has had it thrown in his face for centuries. Both would understand the others feelings.
2 I see Celestia as the conciliator while Luna is the battle mare. If "they" wont play nice after many chances and opportunities, send Luna. We can try again after the dust and smoke clears. Sands has years of various types of combat and both have to adapt to the current way of life. Thus another point that they have in common.
I will now get my beak out of your soup, good story waiting for more. Good luck with the masters. What subject if you don't mind?
9648625
=)
9648634
I'd say you hit on some very good points! (And thank you for the vote.)
Disaster Preparedness/Emergency Management is my Masters program
I kinda want to see him (and the princessesesesesseses) meeting some of the other long-lived creatures he has met through his travels.
9648833
That's a good idea! (If that comes up, I'll be sure to credit you with such!) I hadn't thought of that!
9648837
Keep up the awesome work dude. Also because of your profile picture I now can't get the image of one of the old friends he speaks to being angel bunny, except its the voice of Morgan freeman and speaking normally when no other poines are around.
9648839
I'm glad you're enjoying it! =)
Oh my gosh, that'd be hilarious. I think there's actually a story out there where all the animal companions of the Elements are immortal guardians...and just don't talk around them. (I can't recall the story, but stars a certain owl)
9648842
This one? Completely forgot I read this; perhaps it's where the thought came from.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/239280/winona-the-immortal-dog
9648845
I think so! I was remembering the sequel!
Interesting.... lets see some more
9648872
There shall be more indeed!
Nice chapter! I hope you don't get bored of writing it too quick.
9649101
That's what I'm cautioning against- I'm slowing down the chapters, especially now that I've stared my masters program. I've burnt out on fics before, and don't want that to be the case!
Well, a lot of ponies' jobs are about get much harder.
9649491
Oh, so very much harder
And yup, the feels...funny, and sad.
A bit of criticism here:
Those line breaks which don't completely separate the paragraphs with an empty line are, to be honest, somewhat of an eyesore for me. Ignorable, but there.
May I ask why you do that?
If I had to guess, it would be when you're unsure if you need to break them into paragraphs, so you do a sort of compromise break instead. That being said, I say that only because that would be the reason for me to do such a thing: I'm not exactly the most decisive person, and am often on the fence on many, many things.
9649495
Can I get an example so I know what you're talking about? I know the line breaks are...broken
Every time I copy from my word doc to Fimfiction, it doubles and adds spaces. So every chapter I have to go in and manually delete the extra spaces I'll gladly edit to remove the ones you're mentioning!
9649515
let's not forget the unnecessary line breaks! and the misplaced or missing commas, the startling lack of apostrophes, the occasional bit of shoddy word choice. Grammar's excellent though.
9649599
I'd greatly appreciate some example so I can get those fixed! (I thought I caught most of it on my edits before posting. And I still can't seem to find the issue's you are mentioning (save the evil line breaks, and perhaps an awkward word perhaps?)
The line breaks I'm working on. Fimfiction ADDS/doubles any line breaks I have, and so I have to manually go in and delete them before I post a chapter. Every. Time.
9649606
example of unnecessary words
9650256
Ah, gotcha. Thank you!
9649416
I unfortunately do not know that feeling, as I never enjoyed the writing I had to do in school. On a tangentially related note, I recently decided to get back into World of Warcraft. I unlocked the new dwarf race, and made a holy priest.
9650648
I gotcha- everyone's got different hobbies!
Ooooooooooh. A dwarf priest...I'm currently chomping at the bit to play Classic when it comes out, was on private servers for ages beforehand. I usually main a NE hunter/Druid. I'm not too up to date on what's going on currently, since there's new stuff added every cycle.
....honestly, one of the things that sold me the game back in the day...you can have a pet. raptor. YES!
9650719
Nice. My main is a regular dwarf bm hunter, and I figured I should give some of the other roles a try.
Only about level 45 at the moment.
The new dwarves get a small boost to movement speed indoors.
You should add hippogriff to the straw poll, along with yak, and there may be a few other cannon creatures.
I love how subtle this was. Like it didn't ignore how that would feel but the distance brought on by Luna narrating allowed enough emotional security for the reader, and probably made it easier for you to convey those emotions. Great job, keep it up.
9651066
I'm glad it worked together well, and that you're enjoying it! =D
9650817
Ah, I gotcha. Interesting....I hear it's a TON different than when I played.
9650824
Ooooh. Good point. Unfortunately if I started/changed it, it'd erase the current results. Maybe I'll run a second one with other creatures too! =)
Excellent story, so far.
9652132
Thank you!
9649491
I really am curious as to what line break issues you are talking about; and I'd greatly appreciate your assistance. Looking at it, something seems OFF, but I can't pinpoint it.
9652350
Well, this is happening:
i.imgur.com/VjKjAtH.jpg
And I unfortunately have to inform you that it’s happening pretty often in every chapter – give or take, I’d guess around half of the line breaks are like that – and I’ve also seen it in Of Stars and Sails.
Only way I can think of that odd space happening is if you hit the return key (or enter key) only once instead of twice.
Though I doubt that’s the case – it’s probably technical difficulties – I’ll leave these links in case you have one of two problems:
If by any chance you’re confused about making paragraph spacing here’s the sub-sub-section of the Fimfiction Writing Guide on it: paragraph spacing
If you’re confused about when to make paragraphs, here’s the sub-section on it: paragraphing
9653871
Ah, gotcha! Thank you very much! I ran through and fixed those evil things. SHOULD be completely corrected (and I'll start double-checking on Of Stars and Sails too!) Thank you very much for pointing that out!
What's frustrating, is in the second example I tried to indent the dialogue, and fimfiction doesn't register it So spacing it is!
9654194
Ah! I was miffed when Fimfiction did this, but they have their own indentation setting for each individual reader - in the Formatting tab where you do things like dark mode and themes.
Unfortunately, the average reader won't even think to add back indentation, and it automatically removes writer-provided indentation in order to make the automatic version compatible.
(Oddly, when you tell it to add indentation, it completely skips over the first paragraph, so it irritates me enough that I can't use it.)
9655347
I tried it once and was like NOPE. OK original formatting it is!
Errors:
9674096
Thank you!
My playlist made the questionable decision to play "Don't Worry, Be Happy," during the final section of this chapter. Dark. Enjoying this story thus far.
9882590
Oh gosh Glad you're enjoying it!
I've become so numb.
9923449
You get an ascension, YOU get an ascension, EVERYPONY GETS AN ASCENSION!
(I don't think that's how alicornization works
...Oh my gosh. I forgot that song existed. Talk about a throwback...
Finally able to get back to reading this. Shifting Sands is quite an interesting character and I'm looking forward to learning more about him. That he lived the long life of an alicorn while not being ascended is a unique concept, and has me curious about just how he'll cope and what his life will be like once he has finally adjusted.
9999012
I hope you enjoy it!
Typo! There are too many "and"s in this sentence. I suggest the following edit: "I fear I placed far too much trust in my Captain and now reap the rewards of not being more involved."
I cut the second "and" and changed "reaping" to "reap". You may want to also want to use a word other than "rewards". It is too positive for the sentence topic and can easily be replaced by something like "consequences".
This is proofreader TC, at your service.
Your favorite typo strikes again! "a" needs an "s" to evolve into its final form "as".
Your period has not complied with current Social Distancing protocols.
10175634
DANG NABIT Thanks for catching these!
Pretty good so far, also now sand is depressed that's not good
10195027
Poor Shifting. Quite a bit to work through.