Chapter Seven: Step By Step
Celestia was all smiles as she surveyed her sister, the other alicorn staring at a half-empty teacup. “I hardly see the issue,” the Sun Princess mused.
“It is not appropriate…” Luna mumbled halfheartedly, prompting an amused huff from Celestia.
“Shining Armor is Captain of the Crystal Guard, a co-ruler of the nation, and married to a Princess. While a bit of a more drastic example, I don’t think that’s the main reason of your discomfort. Am I wrong?”
The grumble that sounded over a teacup was Celestia’s answer, the alabaster Alicorn not able to suppress a laugh. “I’ll take a well-educated guess…does it have to do with returned feelings? Because that is an easy thing to settle.”
Seeing a pouty glare sent her way, Celestia continued with a grin. “Weren’t you the one telling me how frustrating some nightmares could be? How if some ponies just communicated, so much drama and heartache could be avoided? I think that was you…”
A louder grumble reached the Solar Princess’s ears, prompting a smug titter. “Surely I could be wrong? I recall somepony complaining to me on seeing two ponies nearly break up because they didn’t talk about something at one of those late-night discos you visit now and again…”
“Ok Tia, we get it,” Luna pouted, setting down her empty teacup. “We are new to this. We-I was so busy before the Nightmare Moon incident, I just didn’t really have time to consider these things. And now, things have changed so much. Every time I think I’ve figured out a social norm, I find something else that is…odd.”
Celestia chuckled, levitating the tea items away with a sigh. “Well, welcome to the social circle nowadays. I think it’s weird for everypony. But back to the point; remember that Shifting is still coming to terms with everything too. I think that’d be a place to start; because you both might be nervous about this, for multiple reasons.”
Luna let out a tired breath, nodding slowly. “And thus we see why I am glad to have you as the older sister. Thank you, Celly.”
A brief hug enveloped the younger alicorn, Celestia smiling to her sister. “Anytime, dear sister. I’m quite happy for you and wish you nothing but the best. You do know I’ll have to play the protective sister part if things do start to work out though, right?”
Luna returned the hug, stifling a yawn as she glared at her sister playfully. “Thou better not barbeque my first genuine interest in a thousand years!”
The innocent look Celestia tossed her sister sent both into giggles, the rulers bidding each other good day and night as they sent their respective celestial bodies on their way. Luna settled down in her room, final thoughts spinning around her mind.
How in the world should we go about this?
Luna awoke with a yawn; a few minutes before her alarm, as always. The routine was completed; greeting her tired sister, grabbing a bite to eat, and then meandering towards the throne room.
What she wasn’t expecting was for Dancing to wave her over, the mare seeming to have a sly grin on her features.
“Princess! Message for you,” she called; and Luna noticed that Dancing’s companion was oddly absent…
“Oh. I sent him to run an errand. Sergeant Sands wanted to know if you were interested in sparring at your earliest convenience?”
Luna blinked, only then realizing a smile had immediately spread across her features, as well as Dancing’s.
“I-thank you, Dancing.”
“Permission to speak freely, Princess? Mare to Mare?” Dancing asked, prompting Luna to snort.
“Dancing, thou hast been one of my most loyal guards for years, and I am glad to call you a friend as well. Of course.”
“Well, as a friend then, may I ask if this is just sparring? I do have to evaluate any security risks to you,” the Thestral teased, prompting Luna’s face to light up in a blush.
“W-what? What else would it be? A date? No, nothing like that yet. Why would thou ask such a thing?” the alicorn stammered far too quickly.
The smug grin on her guard’s face was enough to send Luna into an immediate pout, however.
“Like that, yet?” Dancing grinned, her wings shuffling along her back. “I don’t mean to pry, Princess. But I thought it best to ask. I’ve seen a few mares glancing his way at times…” a soft snort then left Dancing’s muzzle; the mare then not able to resist a cackle. “Y-your eyes. Oh dear, Princess. You’ve got it bad, huh?”
Luna blinked, only then realizing her eyes had narrowed and her wings slightly flared at the mentioning of the other interested mares.
“You have caught us at an unguarded time,” she mumbled, prompting her friend to smile.
“Well, we like seeing you unguarded; well, personality-wise at least. It makes you seem more you. Anyhow, with your permission, I’ll spread around that a certain stallion is otherwise occupied as soon as you let me know to do so.”
Luna nodded, promptly sitting on the ground with a sigh. “Are we that easy to read? I was not expecting such a conversation,” the alicorn mumbled.
“Not usually, but when the Sergeant enters the conversation? Toooootally,” the mare remarked casually. “Nopony else has noticed though, not yet. My lips are sealed of course.”
Luna sighed, not able to keep a smile off her face. “Where is Shifting now?”
“Training, as usual. That guy is a machine.”
Luna nodded, waving a wing to her personal guard. “Then perhaps it is time we get out our old sparing equipment. I’ll answer Shifting’s question myself, and be back in time for a few sessions of Night Court.”
As the Princess left towards the training arena, Spear note returned with a curious tilt to his head. “Was that Princess Luna? What’d I miss?” he asked his companion.
“Yeah, but nothing important. Just mare stuff,” Dancing replied cheerily, prompting Spear to sigh.
“Alright then…”
The wooden dummy shattered under Shifting’s hoof, the stallion ducking a swing from one of the other training mannequins. Twirling on his hind legs he lashed out with his closest hoof, sending the other offender plowing into the stone wall across the room.
With a simple spell, the Sergeant paused the mannequins, trotting over to get some water. He still had a few hours before his training session; and this was always a good bit of practice.
I wonder if Luna will accept? I certainly think it’d be fun…
As was more frequently occurring the stallion found a smile on his face at the thought of the Night Princess. But how to address the other issue? Perhaps I’ll simply ask, make sure this isn’t a total misunderstanding.
His smile fell slightly, Shifting rubbing a slightly sore muscle in his forelimb.
Perhaps it’s all in my head? I’ve never really been the best at discerning between close friendliness and flirting. For a thousand years of living, I have little to no experience to draw upon. Aye, best ask to make sure there even IS something. Then I can-
“Shifting?”
The Sergeant’s ears immediately perked up; saddening thoughts whisked away on the soft voice that reached his ears.
“Luna? I-” Shifting turned around and promptly stared. The Alicorn’s body shimmered with a thick layer of magic, a few simple metal plates adorning her frame.
“We wanted to take up your offer on sparring, if it is still applicable and a good time,” Luna remarked, definitely trying to hide a smile at seeing Shifting’s gaze.
She’s always looked gorgeous in armor…
“I-yes! Sure! I assume that’s training armor?” Shifting asked, prompting a nod.
“Indeed. Normal material is insufficient; this metal is enchanted with a powerful dampening spell. A hit from you, or my sister, is softened ever so slightly. It allows us to not hold back physically at least,” Luna explained, Shifting becoming a bit pensive.
“Is there a chance I could find a smaller set?”
Luna couldn’t help but giggle as Shifting’s eyes lit up when she summoned said item into existence, pulled from one of her many storage portals.
“So…we can hit each other full force?” Shifting asked as he put the equipment on, another laugh reaching his ears as the Alicorn nodded, not able to resist a smile as well.
“Indeed. These walls have seen much worse besides.”
Feeling the spells activate, the stallion was all smiles as he took his place in the arena, Luna doing the same.
“So, how do you want to go about this? Just physical blows I assume, since with your magical power you could quite literally flatten me,” Shifting remarked, prompting yet another giggle.
“Yes. I will refrain from magic as much as we can; but be warned, I may…react instinctually at times if you hit me,” Luna said, prompting a shrug.
“Understandable; I may do the same, honestly, as fair warning. I can deflect spells well enough; a full magical attack from you though would turn me into paste. So….”
Luna lowered herself into a guarded stance, wings slightly spread with a smile. “Hit us, if you can.”
Shifting grinned, the pair dancing around as the distance slowly closed. His first strike was blocked; but Luna left an opening.
She’s rusty; I’ve been practicing for a thousand years…Luna, not so much.
A strike from Luna pushed Shifting back slightly as he took the blow to a forelimb, but the stallion quickly ducked another strike, spinning on his hindquarters to land a buck straight to Luna’s chest.
The alicorn flew backwards; slamming into the wall with enough force to crack the solid stone.
“Luna! Are you-”
Shifting’s words slid away like a morning mist; his eyes wide in surprise. An excited, almost feral grin was now plastered on Luna’s features, the Alicorn cracking her neck as she lowered herself into a battle stance.
…Uh oh.
Silty Stone trotted along the path, making her way to the Guard training grounds for a bit of early practice before the official lesson. The others were already there and eating a fresh meal, having slept in the barracks while she had dashed home to visit her family briefly.
Always nice to see them, but a bit of a journey…wait…
The hiss of magical spells and cracking of stone caught the Thestral’s attention, prompting the bat-pony to poke her head into the Princess’s training area. Her eyes widened in surprise- and Silty promptly ran the entire way to the mess hall a few minutes away, galloping down the sloped stone entrance to the guard Training Center.
Skidding to a stop on the wooden floors, the mare panted as she gestured outside the doors, over thirty pairs of curious eyes turning her way as the Thestrals paused during their meal.
“Drill Sergeant is sparring Luna!”
The entire mess hall promptly emptied in a mad dash, the recruits running pell-mell to the stone tunnel, crowding together to watch.
Silty’s eyes widened as the pair clashed again, Luna apparently sending a beam of raw energy towards the stallion. A tan shield snapped into focus; deflecting the magical strike into a dozen different harmless rays. Luna’s follow-up strike slammed against the shield, her blow causing the artifact to crack as the Sergeant skidded backwards.
Shifting ducked another swipe, delivering a one-two punch to Luna’s chest and head before ducking a swipe of the Alicorn’s wings. His eyes were narrowed, the pony growling briefly as a familiar maroon glow surrounded them. For a moment, the Drill Sergeant seemed to have an almost malevolent aura…
It was then gone, lost in the blur of motion as the two clashed again, the blows sending the other skidding across the solid rock.
They’re so fast!
Sweat dripped off Shifting’s frame as he ducked a punch from Luna, the alicorn then taking a step back to slowly circle around. The pair had been sparring for what must have been an hour straight; and both of their sides were heaving with exertion.
I haven’t had a workout like this in ages...full contact sparring? And Luna is incredible.
What the Alicorn lacked in practice she made up with in terms of speed and raw power, using magic to boost her speed and reflexes. A few times the Princess had reflectively blasted a beam of raw energy at Shifting’s face; but his shields had deflected most of it.
Lunging forwards, Shifting’s blow sent Luna skidding back, the Alicorn locking a forelimb around the stallion’s as she panted.
“Art…thou ready to yield?” she asked, Shifting chuckling as he sucked in air desperately.
“I…was about…to ask you…the same….thing.”
A soft laugh left Luna’s muzzle, the pair finding that not moving was increasingly attractive, as their limbs were starting to quiver from the strain of simply standing.
Luna’s hindquarters gave out first, followed by Shifting’s, the pair plopping to the ground with a soft *thud*, still having a forelimb interlocked.
“Hah. I have you right where I want you,” Shifting grinned, prompting another laugh.
“Ah, but this is part of my plan,” the Princess countered.
“….really?”
“No. Not at all. We cannot move. You?” Luna admitted with a smile.
“I can’t feel my legs. I think we’re done?”
Shifting’s eyes widened as Luna reached down, resting her forehead against his own briefly. “Aye. I believe so. Thou art a formidable opponent, Shifting Sands. We look forward to further matches.”
“…After we can move?” he ventured.
“Yes. After that.”
The stallion couldn’t help but notice that Luna seemed to ever so slightly press against his forehead a bit more, then reluctantly pulling away.
Hmm, a pity. That was rather nice.
A series of whoops and hollers reached the pair’s ears, Shifting then slowly standing on shaking legs.
“Glad you all enjoyed the show, but be ready to move out on schedule,” he barked towards the crowd. “All of you. We’re going to patrol Canterlot today and I’ll be quizzing each group on scenarios as we go! That’s in full armor, and it’d better be immaculate!”
The trainees quickly vanished; many sporting wide grins as they waved, trotting back to the barracks and small armory underground.
Luna trotted up to then sit beside the Drill Sergeant, nodding approvingly. “You are making excellent progress with them; I continued to be impressed, Shifting,” she mused, the stallion grinning as he glanced over to the Alicorn.
“I’m glad, Princess. They are certainly on their way. I’d say they’re where they should be. We’ll start on combat training this next week and go from there. The new equipment arrived, after all.”
Shifting couldn’t help but notice how Luna’s gaze drifted over to him, the slightest blush dawning on her cheeks as he spoke.
Well, no time like the present.
“Luna? May I ask you something rather personal?” Shifting said, brow furrowing in thought. How do I phrase this? Bluntly, but not insensitive.
“Well, it depends what that may be, but yes, of course.”
“What are your feelings towards me?”
The Alicorn drew a slight breath, Shifting looking over to watch her reaction. The slight blush had intensified, making her cheeks radiate against the natural colorations.
“W-we…I…” her shoulders slumped, Luna’s eyes darting across the ground. “I am trying to figure that out.”
“Luna, the stereotype of being an oblivious stallion may be partially true for me, but I’m not a fool,” Shifting mused, a tender smile on his features. “Perhaps I’m overthinking it all though….”
“Thou aren’t.”
The soft whisper that left Luna’s mouth had Shifting’s ears perk up immediately. The two words were laden with emotion; notably…
Fear?
“Then if I’m not, perhaps it is appropriate to say I’m quite happy to have you as a friend,” Shifting began, not wanting to leave any doubt as to what his intentions were. “That said, as a friend, I thoroughly enjoy your company, and-”
“Just friend, however,” Luna stated, a soft chuckle leaving Shifting.
“You didn’t let me finish. I’d be lying to you if I didn’t have the beginnings of something more creeping into my heart. I can’t say for certain, but it is not an alien thing, nor an unwanted development,” the stallion continued.
Luna now looked over to him, her eyes wide slightly in surprise. For a moment, the Princess looked genuinely vulnerable, the alicorn seeming to soak up every word that Shifting said. “T-truly?”
Shifting nodded, still smiling gently. While somewhat new territory for him, it was, at the same time, very familiar. “Luna, for a thousand years, I’ve still remembered you from when I first enlisted, and I’ve seen that you are still that same pony. I’ve always seen you as a Princess; regal, noble, powerful, enchanting, but not as an unapproachable individual,” Shifting let out a slight huff, shrugging his shoulders. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’ve always treated and held you in high regard. It doesn’t take much effort to simply treat you as a Princess in a different, more personal way. I just couldn’t think about you like that. Not until…well…yeah. The recent things I’ve noticed.”
A slight sniffle caught his attention, as did seeing Luna swiping a forehoof across her eyes. “That was very sweet, Shifting. Even if thou didn’t intend it to be so,” she whispered, then looking over to him.
“Where do we go from here?”
Shifting blew out a breath slowly, losing himself slightly in thought. “We take things slow, however that may be. Luna, I’m still adjusting, and do not want any relationships, as friends or otherwise, to be the result of that adjustment rather than genuine feelings. I would feel horrible if feelings I thought to be genuine turned out to be nothing but a mood swing. Of course, that hasn’t happened concerning you, which is why I’m telling you this. I just don’t want to hurt anypony, least of all you.”
A tender smile meandered onto Luna’s face, the alicorn nodding in agreement. “I think that is a wise and sincere plan, Shifting.”
The Sergeant nodded, then glanced over to the Alicorn with a raised eyebrow. “Well, thank you. But you still never answered my question, not directly.”
His words caused a brief silence, and then a very soft chuckle.
“No, we did not. But now we have the words, I think.” Luna was quiet again for a time, collecting her thoughts. “Thou were relatable at first impression, as we underwent a similar adjustment. But now? Now we enjoy being around thee. Thou art…calming, fun and put me at ease. You have treated us like a pony, rather than a goddess, but still with respect. I cannot help but enjoy that. You are a fascinating individual I would like to get to know further, however far that may go.” Her cheeks then lit up, a soft mumble leaving her muzzle. “And the hug thou gave us was oddly nice.”
“Well, would you like another?” was Shifting’s immediate reply, a wide grin on his face which prompting an almost reluctant nod as the Alicorn grumbled.
Standing up, Shifting walked over and promptly wrapped his arms around Luna’s neck- the lack of hesitation clearly surprising the Princess.
“…why do I feel as though this was planned?” Luna asked, returning the gesture with a happy sigh.
“Oh, it totally was. Part of my master strategy of course,” Shifting replied good-naturedly, his already sore muscles aching as Luna leaned into his embrace slightly.
“Honestly though, I figured my question would go one of two ways. I was either wrong, or I wasn’t. I’m rather happy I get to explore this new path with you though.”
A familiar silence flowed in, Luna finally nodding. “We are too. I have been conflicted as to what to do. We are rather new to this…”
Pulling back slightly, Shifting reached forwards to tap Luna’s nose with a hoof lightly. “I think we have a lot more talking to do, yes?”
Luna nodded, a genuine smile on her face as the pair stood, both needing to addend to their various duties. “I agree. Thank you, Shifting.”
“I’m not sure what for, but you are most welcome, Luna.”
“For being you.”
Shifting paused, brow furrowing slightly. A wave of emotions surprised the stallion, making his throat tense as he struggled to form the words that came almost as second nature. “Thank you, I…” he began, gritting his teeth as countless nights of speaking to the moon came flooding back. “I feel the same towards you. The mare I respected and revered a thousand years ago is still here, and now sees me as a friend. For that, I cannot thank you enough. And now another path is opened. It’s…” he shook his head, frustrated as a few tears came and went. “Emotional wave, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m…it is not often I hear such words,” Luna admitted, not seeming entirely sure of whether he wanted comfort or not.
“Well, expect to hear such things more often; that won’t fade as I adjust that’s for sure.”
“You are not making it easy to not hug you again.”
Shifting waved a hoof with a grin, gesturing towards the side tunnels of the room. “Well, I certainly won’t object to such in the future, but I think we both have duties to attend to. Perhaps we can talk before the night is over? Or, failing that, early tomorrow?”
Luna nodded, horn starting to ignite with magic. “We look forward to it, Shifting. Take care.”
“You too Luna.”
As the alicorn vanished with a teleportation spell, Shifting then trotted off to the showers with a whistle. It was only when he was almost clean that the unicorn promptly rested his head against the rock wall.
I have a date.
Sort of.
With the Princess.
…I really should be more shaken than I am.
His own words flooded back, prompting Shifting to smile.
I’ve always cared about her in some way. It’s not too much of a shift then; the thought had crossed my mind before, however fleeting. And now? Now I can actually get to know her.
Luna was all smiles as she trotted back to the throne room, coat still glistening from a shower.
He asked! Oh, I was stewing on how to bring that up! And….
The soft glow in her cheeks refused to leave, even as the Night Princess sat on the throne, Night Court beginning shortly. His words; I never expected something so sweet. And yet there is that darkness, the inklings of something when we sparred…
While the thought should have unnerved the princess, it only made Luna’s heart beat all the faster at the thought of the stallion.
We’ve both been through the fire and flames, haven’t we? We’ve just dealt with it in different ways.
“Wild guess? Good news?” Dancing whispered as the doors began to open, the Thestral grinning widely.
“We…erm, might have a date? Sort of? Good news?” Luna stammered, a high-pitched squealing reaching her ears as the Thestral hopped up and down briefly, then settling back into her professional stance.
“Really? Oh, we’re totally talking later. I’ll bring the blueberry pastries,” Dancing whispered.
“Thou art bribing us with baked goods?”
“Totally.”
“…They had better be fresh.”
The smile on Luna’s features refused to leave, even through the hours of the Night Court.
"MORPHEUS IS FIGHTING NEO!" 
That's all I could think of when that scene came up. Oh if I could draw a comic of that, I totally would.
This was an interesting scene, because gone is the teenage drama/awkwardness, and instead, simply two individuals trying to confront an issue....With no less adorableness of course! Both are battle-scarred and respectful of the other, with a LOT hidden beneath the surface....
And hope everyone enjoyed the FLORF. Adorable and slightly awkward adult ponies!
...for the un-intiated, Florf = Lore + Fluff. (term born of comments in my Gallus/Silverstream fics.)
Thank you all again on the survey feedback! IT HATH BEEN DECIDED!
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I have to say for the record: CALLED IT!
I whole heartly Agree with this pairing! So can we expect Prince-Consort Shifting Sands?
9693761
Wellllll I'd say for now you can expect an interesting first date, and see how it goes from there!
YAAAY nex chapter.
th-that sparring and after 
hoho hoo sweet
WOW
That's the exact scene that popped in my head as I read it. Bravo for another good chapter.
9693761
I'm hoping for the full title, Knight-Prince-Consort.
9694190
Glad you enjoyed it!
9693922
I love this chapter. After all Luna is best pony and a happy Luna is a happy Tohshi.
Hmm me thinks that the monkey's paw's curse is still growing. Or that it left some repressed mental conditioning.
Monkey Paws are evil which means that inherently they want those who use them to suffer and the fact he is still alive means the "curse" is alive and well also. I fear for Sgt. Sands. I like this fic. I like this ship.
9694328
9694430
Indeed, part of the curse is still active; that of making him live forever. The glowing eyes are a side-effect of not being able to deal with a full range of emotion for a thousand years. Whether the strange disconnect he felt was indeed from the paw or just a side-effect as Luna/Celestia thinks, that may be a mystery that never is solved.
9694193
I'f you want to get into exact title's, it would be "Prince of the Night, Consort of the Moon and Stars" adding in Knight would be redundant as being a Prince requires and gives a Knighthood anyway.
Luna's full title would be "Empress of the Night, Guardian of the Moon and Stars" she gets the Empress title as she is already a Ruling Sovereign.
The titles would Change if they get married btw.
I really like they dealt with this as functional adults. Too rare to see in fiction of any kind.
9696327
The next 2 stories are, tbh, probably going to be in the same vein. I've written the former before however, and it has a place. Just not in this or other planned ones.
That was my goal tbh, and I'm glad you liked it! As with any relationship/feelings, there will be a bit apprehension and jitteryness and fluttering emotion; but lacking the crazy up and down swings present in a lot of writing/adolescence.
Yes. This is exactly what I'd do.
Ah, a romance that skips entirely over the drawn-out "what in Tartarus is this feeling, oh God this is akward" part. An interesting choice. First time I've seen it.
9704719
If I could write a comic of that moment basically mirroring the moment in the Matrix, I totally would.
Oh? Wait, really?
...huh. That's interesting; it's just the more mature take on romance. This fic/the next 2 I write will have a similar way of handling that theme!
9702842
That is, unfortunately, not the original.
9705554
Hmm? That moment you mean?
9705559
The song link you sent me was not the original version of that song. It is an edited version.
9705581
Ooooooh. Huh. I assumed was the original since on his channel. Wonder how it differs...
9705591
It’s more echoey and the music is a little different.
9705596
It is the internet after all; something is never really gone
Aaaaah. Well, it's probably out there somewhere.
9704823
Well, I'm not exactly a romance connoisseur. It's great to not groan repeatedly at various acts of obliviousness, though, nor have to read for very long before getting to the sweet part.
The best counter-example I can think of is The Enchanted Library. Monochromatic's a romantic genius, though at times I do wish the pace was faster.
9706893
Aaah I gotcha. Well hopefully it lives up to your expectations!
"Shifting Sands.. welcome back. We missed you."
cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/008/764/038/large/kamil-trocinski-smith-01.jpg?1515154048
9753423
Perfect.
Overpowered OX Luna ship story makes me hesitant to read more
9854077
Understandable. I do want to note that he's not all-powerful by any means. I aimed to toe the line between believable/not obnoxiously powerful and not; i.e. he has been training for a thousand years. But he's certainly not unbeatable (as in, he could be absolutely flattened by Luna or Celestia with magic) I can understand the lack of interest in a powerful OC however.
I have a feeling that Dancing sent him on that little errand so that she and Luna could have a bit of "mare talk".
I was wondering what this line was making me think of. I kept picturing something but wasn't seeing it clearly. Then I read the author's note and it was so obvious. Love the reference! 👍
And now, for obvious reasons...
9999653
(She totally would.)
She'd neeeever do that...
This should be INTERESTING...
10019698
To say the least!
As I read this (before i got to the author's note), all I could think of when Silty scrambled back to the barracks was "Morpheus is fighting Neo!" Great minds eh?
10120513
Indeed!
10120513
Funny enough, the scene in Matrix itself was a reference to an old classical kung fu movie, the scene here made full turn back to source.
I have to admit I am seeing your style of writing relating to romance here I know this is an already finished story so I’ll keep my opinion brief and to the point: the romance between your OC and Luna feels hamfisted and Gary stuish mostly because Luna is a princess and you’ve written it that she almost immediately has hidden feelings for him and partly because Shiftimg sands is your OC. With We don’t go to sub-level five you’ve done it much more organically so I know you’re much better at it now but this early story specifically looking at the romance feels forced
11443759
Thank you for your comment! I really do appreciate the feedback.
This was definitely one of my earlier stories; and I completely, 100% agree that the pacing and relationship dynamics need an overhaul. It's not nearly as natural, and does come off as very heavy-handed. I don't dispute that the slightest! I'm so glad SL-5 feels much more organic and natural- that means I'm improving! The sequel, I feel, was more natural and less hamfisted than this one, and so on and so forth.