You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

Loose Threads

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 4 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 4
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #1 · Mar 17th, 2019 · · · High risk, High reward ·

How'd you come up with this story's name?

Tactical Hobbit

Tactical Hobbit #2 · Mar 17th, 2019 · · · High risk, High reward ·

9511403 Mainly based on the climbing aspect, but I’ll be expanding on it. loose threads start to unravel, Much like the story and the plot.

Nakanai

Nakanai #3 · Mar 17th, 2019 · · · High risk, High reward ·

While I was initially excited by the prospect of more FiE, this was too painful to read. First, nearly every sentence is a run-on. Seriously, it's almost every one. Furthermore, you occasionally make the error that many amateur authors writing in present tense do: peppering in past tense. There are a handful of other minor issues that a good pre-reader/editor could help with, but the things that will improve your writing quality the most are purging the comma splices and paying careful attention to tense.
The tags on this story really piqued my interest, and I've never seen a story on FIMFiction with a focus on climbing, so I'm excited to see where this goes, if the writing gets cleaned up.

Tactical Hobbit

Tactical Hobbit #4 · Mar 17th, 2019 · · · High risk, High reward ·

9512016
Thank you for the constructive criticism, I understand that my writing could do with some work and I plan on improving the quality as I go on. I’m glad you’re still exited to see the story go further at least and I’ll endeavour to improve.