Learning To Live Again

by Speedy Quill

A Choice

The next few days drifted by as I considered my next move. Rarity was right, I had a big opportunity in Canterlot. But...was it the right choice? Ponyville had become my home. I’d made friends here. And most of all I wanted to find out what that kiss had meant...

Focus Shade! Come on! There’d be time for that later. What about Celestia? She didn’t quite trust me yet, but that wasn’t surprising. Twilight said I had to prove I was worthy of that trust. If I was in Canterlot that would be a lot easier to accomplish. And the Canterlot Library was ripe for the reading! The things I could learn!

Celestia had made a point of mentioning the library. Was that just to bribe me into staying? Or had she had ulterior motives? Offering me a library...and she knew of my talent...it would make me a useful resource for sure. But was that her goal?

I found myself pacing through Twilight’s castle. I couldn’t hold still while all of these questions were flying around.

“You look troubled.”

I stopped and turned to see Twilight coming out of her study. A sigh escaped me as she approached.

“Just thinking about Canterlot.”

“Have you made any headway?”

I shook my head.

“I don’t know what to do Twilight. Part of me thinks I should go and see what happens, but another part wants to stay here. Ponyville is my home now.”

She smiled and nudged me forward, continuing our trip through the halls.

“I know you’ve made a home here, but there’s no point in living your life in one place. There’s a whole world for you to see. Canterlot is a good place to start.”

“And what about you guys? I won’t know anypony except for Celestia and Luna. I won’t have any friends.”

“We’ll always be here Shade. Just because you move to a new city doesn’t mean you can never see your friends again. And Canterlot isn’t exactly far away.”

“I know. It’s just hard to think of leaving. I know I’d have a huge opportunity there, but I feel like there’s so much more to do here.”

“Like what?”

“Well...there must be some books I haven’t read yet.”

“Most of which would be in Canterlot as well.”

“And I’m still learning a lot about socializing with ponies.”

“There are ponies in Canterlot too.”

“I guess...”

“Though I’m guessing there’s one pony that isn’t in Canterlot?”

“What in Equestria are you talking about?”

The Princess rolled her eyes.

“Come on Shade.”

A scowl formed on my face as I realized what she meant.

“Don’t start with me Twilight.”

“You still haven’t told me about your walk with her. Which makes me think- No wait. Makes me know that something happened!”

“Or there was nothing interesting to say about walking Rarity home. Not everything is an adventure, contrary to how your lives have played out thus far.”

“Then tell me what happened.”

“I just did!”

“Okay then. So if nothing happened, then there’s really no good reason for you to stay in Ponyville.”

“Not true! Maybe I just want to live in a small town. I like the ambiance. Much better than a big city.”

Twilight groaned.

“Fine! Don’t tell me. I’ll just assume that you confessed your feelings and bring it up to her the next time I see her.”

I froze, slowly turning my gaze to her. I expected to see that mischievous grin of hers. What I saw was worse. The grin she had was far more sinister.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“Twilight..”

“Shade.”

“You really shouldn’t meddle in this. It’s not your place.”

“You’re my friend Shade. As is Rarity. And if there’s a new friendship forming, it’s definitely my place to meddle.”

I could feel my eyes getting bigger as I realized she wasn’t bluffing.

“What do you want from me you crazy alicorn?”

“Answers.”

I stared at her for a solid minute, mulling over my options. She wasn’t going to let me out of it. And she was willing to wait. She sat down on the floor, patiently waiting as I chose my fate.

“If I tell you, it doesn’t leave this castle?”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Her hoof covered her eye and I nodded. A Pinkie Promise. I’d seen one before and knew how serious the girls took them. She wouldn’t blab. I sighed and sat down. When I began to speak, it came out fast.

“I told her I thought she was the most beautiful mare I’d ever seen and had thought that since the first time I saw her.”

“So you did confess!”

I took a breath, trying to relax.

“I guess. I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at the time.”

“And what did she say?”

Twilight was crouching now. Her body was poised to jump if the news was good.

“Well...she said it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.”

“And?!”

“And...that’s all she said.”

The disappointment began to sink in. Her ears drooped a little. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“And then she kissed me.”

“WHAT?!?!”

She took off with a forceful beat of her wings, doing somersaults in the air.

“I knew it! I knew something happened! Rarity kissed you!”

She halted her acrobatics and looked down at me.

“Did you kiss her back?”

“Well it happened so fast that I didn’t really have time to respond. She kissed me, said I was wonderful, and went inside.”

“Omygoodness!! This is amazing!”

“Not a word to anypony! You Pinkie Promised.”

Twilight lowered herself to the floor and took a deep breath.

“And I will keep that promise. I’m just...so happy for you!”

She pulled me into a hug, catching me off guard. I tried to pull away, but the alicorn has a death grip on me. When she finally lessened her hold I slipped free.

“Thank Celestia. I thought I’d suffocate.”

“So will you stay in Ponyville for Rarity?”

That was the real question, wasn’t it? I’d been trying to focus on Canterlot, but the real issue was if I wanted to leave and risk halting any chance with Rarity. It was a new, exciting development. But...what if I was reading too much into it?

That’s when an idea popped into my head.

“Twilight? Could I...just ask Rarity if there’s anything between us?”

“That’s pretty forward. But coming from you that doesn’t sound too surprising. Love is a very tricky thing for most ponies. There’s a lot of layers to each aspect. Conversation can be particularly difficult with all of the subtlety it involves.”

“That sounds tiring and overly complicated. Can’t I just ask her if she really likes me?”

“Again, coming from you it wouldn’t be a surprise. You’re pretty straightforward about everything. You said that you basically confessed your feelings without even trying?”

“Yeah.”

“Then this should be just as easy for you!”

Doubtful.

—————————

I held my hoof in midair, afraid to knock it against the boutique door. Was this really the smartest move? Maybe I should reconsider. Maybe tomorrow? Or the next day? Yeah.

As I went to lower my hoof, it connected with the door. The connection produced a loud knock that made me jump. What just happened?!

I didn’t have time to run. The door opened to reveal Rarity. She smiled as our eyes met.

“Shade! What are you doing here darling? Come in, come in!”

She stepped aside and I entered the shop. My heart was beating faster with each step.

“I just wanted to come by to let you know what I’d decided. About Canterlot.”

“Oh! And what is the verdict?”

“Well...I’m highly considering it, but there was...one thing I wasn’t sure about.”

She seemed confused for a second. As I kept her gaze, I began to see the understanding clicking into place. She didn’t say anything though. I cleared my throat and continued.

“I’ve...I’ve never...never felt like I do when I’m around you. You’re one of the first ponies to really see me as anything other than what I am.”

She found her voice again.

“And what are you?”

“To a lot of ponies I’m just a changeling out of place in this world. But you? You treat me like I belong. You make me feel like I’m...normal.”

She smiled, a giggle escaping her.

“I thought I made you feel, what was it? Warm and fuzzy?”

I smiled.

“That too. Especially since-“

I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. I swallowed the words as Rarity’s smile grew.

“Since we kissed?”

“Yeah...that. You really surprised me. I didn’t think that...well, that you thought of me...like that.”

“You surprised me as well. I never thought the changeling I was introduced to would turn out to be one of the sweetest creatures I’d ever met. You’re charming, kind, and thoughtful. How could anypony not like you? There’s so much more to you than what’s on the surface.”

She reached out and brushed my face with her hoof. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“I hope you didn’t think it too forward of me to kiss you first. I just wasn’t sure if you’d ever pick up on the hints I’ve been dropping.”

“Come again?”

She giggled once more.

“I’m not ashamed to admit that my feelings aren’t a recent development. Every time we’ve been together I’ve felt closer to you. And...I hope that we can find out where this goes.”

Electricity was sparking in my body like crazy. I was tingling all over. I cleared my throat and smiled.

“You know, I was supposed to be saying that. That’s why I came over. I wasn’t sure what to do until I’d talked to you.”

“You mean Canterlot?”

I nodded.

“I thought that maybe I should stay?”

I could tell that she was conflicted. There was a certain sadness in her eyes, but a small smile had formed.

“You can’t give up an opportunity like this Shade. You deserve to have some adventure in your life.”

“But what about-“

She held a hoof to my mouth, shutting me up.

“I would love nothing more than to have time with you, but I think this is something you need to follow through on. Celestia must see something in you that other ponies miss. It will be hard, but I honestly believe that things can work out.”

I moved her hoof away.

“How? If we’re apart, we can’t exactly get to know each other better.”

Well...I’m sure we can arrange something. In fact, I’ll be in Canterlot in a few weeks for the opening of my shop!”

“You got the space you were talking about?”

Her smile grew as she nodded.

“I can’t wait to get it up and running. Maybe we can get together when I’m there? And I’ll be making regular visits to check up on business.”

“And I’d see you every time. After the other day, I don’t know if I could stand not seeing you.”

Her smile curled a little, taking on a more playful look.

“Oh? I left a good impression?”

“You might say that.”

She steeped closer.

“I’m sorry I left so suddenly. I didn’t give you a chance to respond.”

My own playful smile appeared.

“Would you object to receiving my response now?”

“Hmm...I’m usually a stickler for punctuality.”

Another step closer.

“But I suppose I could make an exception. Just this once.”

We were several inches apart now. My heart felt like it would jump out of my throat at any moment. I leaned forward, closing the gap between us. Her eyes closed and her body leaned forward slightly. I brought my lips to hers, and immediately felt like I would melt into the floor. My eyes closed as we sank into the kiss. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. We stood there for several seconds, our lips moving together as we shared this moment.

When we broke apart finally, I could only stare at Rarity. Her smile lit up the room. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on. And for the first time in my life, I felt truly happy.

Even though we’d be apart, I knew that my luck was taking a turn for the better. We could make it work. But that was the future.

Right now, I was busy staring at Rarity. And she was staring back. To me we were the only two in the world at this moment. And it couldn’t get any better. Leave it to Rarity to prove me wrong as she leaned in for a second kiss.

Comments

[The Bricklayer]

Diabetes-induced heart-attack, confirmed. You have a way of making us feel warm and fuzzy, you know that right?

[Speedy Quill]

9555125
That’s what I was going for. Glad to know it’s worked on at least one pony

[The Bricklayer]

9555218
Now, I'm curious when you'll give us the other side of the coin again, the scary, as I read the original out of curiosity and it had some pretty terrifying moments.

[Morphy]

So... when a changeling learns to love, as in giving all their love to another, won't that cause the transformation into changeling 2.0? And if this happens, will Shade get his wings back after the crysaling?

One thing I'm really curious about, has no one in Canterlot make a stink over Shade walking around undisgused? I'm guessing the lack of any ponies in Ponyville doing so is that the're used to him... or completely ignore him like Kevin.

[Speedy Quill]

9556369
Shade has only been seen by the ponies at the castle so far, so nopony has been thrown into a panic yet.

As for the love situation, you’re the first to bring it up. Changelings morph when they give love rather than receiving. But they have to give completely. Thorax’s Wings changed slightly when he was in the early stages, but since Shade doesn’t have his there’s no way to tell. Trust me when I say that changes are coming for him, but maybe not what you expect.

[Morphy]

9557061

Limb loss really brings up an interesting question; when you can polymorph, not just some light and show illustion, is amputation really crippling at all? We know changelings can morph into just about anything of equal mass, the better/specialized ones able to push that limitation a ways too. Couldn't a wingless changeling also morph into a pegasus with wings and fly? Same for losing a leg, by turning into a whole pony or even a whole changeling? Yes, there's the power drain of maintaining it but that is no problem for a well fed bugpone like Shade who is no doubt overflowing.

(It's my inner AD&D geek looking for loopholes in the rules)

[Speedy Quill]

9557764
I thought of it as you have to have the parts to mimic different versions of the parts. So you need wings to be able to morph them into other wings. You couldn’t just stretch your flesh to accommodate the area. Not to that extreme anyways. When Shade made small alterations to his body it was very taxing and painful. So growing a pair of wings? That would probably kill him if he tried. But that’s my reasoning.

[Kevin Lee]

9557799
That works within your reasoning, but in canon, Changelings do more than just create an illusion about themselves, they actually transform into a copy of the creature they're imitating. They might not have the innate strength and abilities of other creatures, but they're otherwise indistinguishable from the native life forms they're taking on.
I know this is a rewrite, and I don't know when the original was created, but by the time you wrote this, it's the last season. Thorax had been introduced and the Hive was now under new management, the School of Friendship was in full operation.

[Von Voctavia]

THOOOOOT!!
:shade: you had 6 years, bro