Smoky Quartz took the long route to the parlor. He didn't want to arrive too early, after all. All of his skill at planning had gone in to making sure this meeting went absolutely perfectly. A day with a light workload, few royal petitioners, no pestering nobles, and his announcement timed for the Princess's most peaceful part of the day; her mid-afternoon teatime. There was no need to hope for good luck; his sheer extend of planning made it unnecessary.
His crystal hooves tapped out a quiet staccato beat in the otherwise silent hallway. Long before he reached the door, however, he found his ears assaulted by the sound of raised voices.
"It's a good idea!"
"It's a bad idea, and possibly dangerous."
"It's good in theory, but we need to make some big changes for it to work."
He sighed and loosed a small grumble under his breath. Already things were not going to plan. This was supposed to be when their royal highnesses would be the most relaxed and in the best mood. This was supposed to be the optimal circumstances to reveal his secret.
And they were arguing.
Should he back off? Wait for a better time? No. With the massive human revelation only a day or two ago, there would be no better opportunity than this.
With that thought steeling his shaking confidence, he opened the door.
"And for another thing I- Oh, Smoky Quartz." Princess Cadence cut herself off mid-tirade to address her surprise guest. "I'm sorry, did we have something scheduled? I thought I'd given you and the other advisers the day off."
"You did," he replied with a nod, "But I came in anyway to tell you-"
"Actually, you know what?" the crystal princess interrupted, "This is perfect. You can help us settle a little... disagreement we've been having."
With an easy flick of her magic, Smoky Quartz found himself yanked forward into the center of the room, surrounded on two sides by royalty, on a third by their ranking court wizard, and on the last by a forgotten table of light snacks and tea. Particularly expensive tea that he'd acquired at great cost to ensure all ponies involved were calm and relaxed. He didn't even need to check the pot to tell it was still full.
Recovering quickly, he bowed and asked, "How may I be of service then, your majesty?"
"We're deciding what music to play at the concert."
Smoky Quartz blinked in surprise. A concert? There was nothing like that in the schedule. He would know, since he was in charge of drafting it. "We're having a concert?"
"No, we're not." Sunburst insisted, showing a surprising amount of backbone as he countered his sovereign. "I'm telling you, Princess, having a concert is a bad idea. It can only lead us to ruin."
"And who would play at such an event?" Smoky Quartz added, "I'm not sure I could book anyone on such short notice."
"Why, me of course." Cadence said with a grin that spoke of more confidence than Smoky felt was warranted, "With Shining on guitar and whoever else we can find to play bass and drums. I can pull double duty on lead vocals and keyboard if need be."
"You play?" he asked, dropping decorum in surprise. He'd heard her sing, lullabies and Heartsongs mostly, but the keyboard was a twist.
"Not since becoming a pony," she admitted, "But since Flurry Heart can basically take care of herself now I've been meaning to pick it back up."
"I still say this is a bad idea." Sunburst cut in grumpily, redirecting the conversation back where it was supposed to go.
Cadence shot him a glare. "Do you want me to explain it again?"
The wizard and the husband groaned. Clearly, this would not be her first repetition. But before anyone could dissuade her, her focus snapped back to Smoky Quartz. "Alright then. Smoky, where are we right now?"
"...the Crystal Empire?" he ventured, cautious of such a simple-seeming question.
Cadence nodded. "Right. Which is protected by...?"
"The Crystal Heart."
"And the Crystal Heart is powered by what?"
Now he understood. "The emotions of the citizens."
"Which, as of the recent revelation, is a bubbling hotpot of everything in the emotional spectrum." Cadence began to pace as she got into what was clearly the most impassioned part of her spiel. "True, there is positivity in abundance; joy, relief, and thankfulness are overflowing. But we can't risk ignoring all the negative emotions that are swirling about as well. There's a king's ransom in shock and confusion, not to mention all the fear for the future and existential dread. I've even sensed a bit of hate flaring up here and there as old divisions start to come to light."
She whipped around and preempted Sunburst's interruption with a pointed hoof. "And don't tell me I'm exaggerating the situation. I'm connected to the Crystal Heart. I can literally feel all this as it happens."
Smoky Quartz moved quickly between them, hoping to redirect a little of the princess's anger. "And I take it your plan was to use music to sway everyone's emotions into a more positive direction?"
"Exactly!" Cadence exclaimed. "See, now he gets it."
Smoky Quartz nodded. It was a reasonable idea. Music was often used to rally support or even just to raise morale. That is, so long as the correct music was selected. "What songs were you considering?"
She smiled, apparently assured that she had already won him over to her side of the argument. "I think some good, classic love songs will do the trick to raise everyone's spirits."
"And there it is." Shining Armor said with an exasperated sigh. "Honey, I love you, and I know you want to stay on-brand as the Princess of Love, but love songs just aren't going to cut it. All that those are going to do is remind everyone of the countless friends and family that they will never see again. Do that and we could lose the dome entirely."
Smoky Quartz turned to him. "And what would you suggest?"
Shining smiled, glad that someone had finally asked. "Old cartoon and TV themes. Ones that everybody knows. Get people talking, get them to share memories. We play our cards right and we can leverage the power of fandom in our favor. We'll hit 'em in the feels and make bank off the nostalgia."
"It doesn't matter what you sing!" Sunburst insisted with a stomp of his hoof. "Any song from back home is just going to heap on the nostalgia which, despite your claims to the contrary, is not a positive emotion. Nostalgia is a subspecies of homesickness which is itself a specific type of longing. And longing, as we all know, is a flavor of Loss. And no one wants to be reminded of loss at a time like this. If you want to raise morale, that's fine. Just no concert. Throw a Crystal Fair, like we always do."
"Sure, and that might work," Cadence shot back with a glare, "If anyone out there was actually a crystal pony!"
Without room for a saving interjection from the errant advisor, Smoky found the room thrown back into the midst of argument. Not one cohesive point could be heard due to the noise and the rapidly fraying tempers.
Smoky Quartz's eyebrow twitched in concealed irritation, but he held it in. After nearly a full minute of bickering with no sign of slowing down, he broke.
"You're making too much noise!" he declared with a sweep of his hoof. "Quiet down!"
Stunned, they all actually obeyed. Smoky Quartz gave them all the evil eye in turn, each wincing under his gaze like a naughty student caught by a teacher. "What are you, children? Can you not hold a discussion civilly?" He shifted and gave Cadence his full attention.
"Princess, while your idea holds merit, I agree with Prince Shining that traditional love songs may not be appropriate. His reasoning on that is sound. However," he turned to Shining, "neither are old cartoon songs the answer. Even pony ones. I've been keeping my ear to the ground. There's a not insignificant portion of our populace who weren't even aware that this is the world of a show. With your plan, if we choose the wrong fandom to support, we risk alienating some of them even further. They could become desperate. And while a desperate pony is at most an inconvenience, a desperate human is another thing entirely."
He turned slowly on his heel, not breaking eye contact until he could immediately entrap someone else in his gaze. "Sunburst, I feel you may be underestimating our citizens. Remember, these are not scared and weak ponies; eager to run from their own shadows. These are people. Humans who've lived through trials and struggles and overcome them. I think, if you give them a chance, they will surprise you. So long as we do not divide them further. Now, can we all calm down and hammer out a plan peacefully like sensible adults?"
As the fires fueling Cadence's anger waned, she exchanged her glare for a self-deprecating smile. "Thank you Smoky Quartz. As always, you prove yourself one of my most helpful and straightforward advisers. And often the only one willing to speak frankly." She sank down into a chair, the tension gone from her body, and tittered slightly. "You're almost too perfect sometimes. I don't suppose you also happen to play bass guitar do you?"
They all broke into chuckles at that. So much so that they almost missed his response.
"Actually, I can."
Cadence's eyes went wide in surprise. Her horn immediately flared to life and fabricated a pink guitar out of raw magic, modified for hoofplay. "Show me."
The stallion took the guitar gingerly, feeling out the weight of it in his hooves. He started slowly, it had been years since he'd last played, but it quickly came back to him. A few stray notes at first, then actual chords. Soon he transitioned to riffs and then finally he hit his stride with a cascading waterfall of music. Not a song or melody in particular, but a showcase of talent. Chords and combinations that would have stretched human fingers to their limit landed perfectly before the might of magical playing. And it felt good to play after so long.
Smoky Quartz became so lost in his music that he forgot to keep up his concentration on something else. As he played, wisps of smoke began to leech off his form, first from his hooves and then the rest of his body. The silvery ash of his crystal coat grew dark and thicker as it began to resemble proper fur. His musculature swelled as he grew taller alongside a rising crescendo of notes. He finished his solo off with a long-held note, flanged by his magic, and only then did he notice the gobsmacked expressions on everyone else in the room.
"Too much?" He asked before glancing down and noticing his much less crystalline appearance. "Oh. I can explain."
"Sombra!" someone cried. Shining Armour and Cadence adopted offensive postures with their horns lit and ready while Sunburst jumped behind a couch.
"Whoa!" Smoky Quartz, or rather, Sombra, cried out, grabbing the tray out from beneath the pile of snacks and holding it up defensively like a shield. "Human! Don't forget! Human! Not evil!"
"And how are we supposed to believe that?" Shining growled, "Sombra's a known master liar and deceiver. It makes perfect sense that you'd try and take advantage of the human confusion."
"Look at my eyes," he insisted. "Do you see any glowing trails of evil?" They did not. They were quite nice eyes, truth be told. "Look at my horn. See? Perfectly normal. No evil or corruption."
Shining and Cadence shared a look, the kind shared by couples where whole conversations can be held in an instant. As one, they powered down their horns. "Alright, we'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're human. But don't think that that excuses any crimes you may have committed as Sombra."
"But I haven't done any crimes!" Sombra persisted, though he set down the tray. "Well, aside from identity fraud and lying on government documents. It was only after you... I don't know, evaporated or exorcised or whatever you did to Sombra's astral form that left his body empty when I came into the picture."
Sunburst chose this time to pop out from behind the couch and rejoin the conversation. "But what about Smoky Quartz? What have you done with him?! He's one of my closest friends in the palace. If you've done anything-"
Sombra scoffed. "I've done nothing. I am Smoky Quartz, you numbskull. It's a persona I created. Did you think Sombra, King of Shadows, could just waltz into the Crystal Empire and apply for a job? I'd have been outrunning a mob in under a minute. That or a friendship laser. So I made a disguise. I still wanted to be a part of things after all. And this body came with a copy of Sombra's memories, so that's a few decades of free political experience I had to offer. I applied for a low-level administrative position and somehow, just kept getting promoted. And here we are. Also," his gaze softened for a moment, "Thank you. For calling me one of your closest friends. That genuinely means a lot to me."
"You have been a rather invaluable employee," Cadence admitted, finally dropping her stance and retaking her seat.
"Cady..." Shining, who still stood battle-ready, said warningly.
"Oh, come off it Ricky," Cadence said with a roll of her eyes, "If he really was evil, then he's inept enough to be a non-threat. I can think of a dozen times off the top of my head where he could have easily incapacitated or even killed me in the last couple months alone." She snagged a cookie off the floor, dusted it off, and inspected it. "Besides, regardless of alignment, the Empire wouldn't be running half as well as it is if it weren't for all the help he's given. If he's telling the truth, that's great. If not..." She delicately placed the cookie between her teeth and snapped it in half. "I'll have Flurry Heart blast him so hard he'll wind up in another franchise."
The atmosphere of the Crystal Empire was electric. Celestia's sun had long since set but the central plaza was still as bright as day. Enormous pillars of magically attuned crystal shook the air with the sound of amplified instruments that flooded the empire with music. Bleeding out from the palace and down every main road was a sea rainbow stars that pulsed and shook in time with the beat.
Somepony was making a fortune tonight with the invention of magic glowsticks.
In the center of it all, atop raised platforms of varying heights, the hastily assembled band played like they'd been practicing together for years, helped in part by the magic of Harmony.
Towards the back, Sunburst manned a drum kit. With a drumstick clutched in each foreleg and two in his magic, he bashed the tubs and pies as though they were the heads of every indifferent boss and incompetent manager he'd ever worked for. On another pedestal, Shining Armor and Sombra stood back to back, shredding away on a pair of palette-swapped guitars as their chords intertwined into a soul-shaking melody. Mares in the crowd (and a few stallions too) practically swooned at the nearly palpable chemistry between them as each tried to outplay the other. They would have actually swooned, but the crowd was too dense to let them fall over.
Front and center was Princess Cadence, her pedestal low and closest to the crowd. Her mane wild and drenched with sweat, she sang her heart out to the crowd of crystal citizens who, for their part, ate up her energy like ravenous changelings.
Much as Sombra had expected, the concert was going spectacularly. The selection of songs they'd eventually hammered out was eclectic, to say the least, but contained enough hits of every genre to hopefully reach each and every listener. With the power of Harmony on their side, their music reached down deep into the people's hearts and pulled them together, reminding them of the shared roots they all could rely on. The Crystal Heart was a veritable beacon of positively charged energy, bleeding off the excess as a Borealis that could be seen as far away as Manehattan.
A few hours into the event, at a point just after a slower song had finished and the band was starting to rile the audience up again, there was a small flash of lavender light. It happened in the farthest edges of the crowd, past even where quieter and more introverted ponies had slipped away to try and steal an early bit of shut-eye. From around the corner, a lavender mare poked her head suspiciously. Past failures had made her wary, so she was more reluctant to immediately show herself. No, a bit of discretion would be best, at least at first.
Despite her initial trepidation, she was hopeful. Surely the Crystal Empire, with its impassive barrier and the unique biology of its citizens, would be spared, right? But her hopes were quickly dashed as she heard Princess Cadence belting out to hundreds of cheering fans.
"The time has come, at last~!"
"Secret, secret. We've got a secret~!" Shining Armour and a huskier voice she didn't recognize provided backup.
"To re-embrace our past~!"
"Secret, secret. We've got a secret!"
"Now everyone can see," the mare could see her now, the bright lights reflecting off the many buckles of the Princess' jacket as passion flooded her voice even more, "Our true identities!"
The whole crowd joined in on the final line, and though obviously guided by Heartsong, it was clear they meant what they sang wholeheartedly.
"We're humans! Humans... humans... humans..."
The mare cringed as she ducked back into the shadows. Another failure. And with a flash of light, she was gone.
Canterlot was not known as a party city. It tried to rival cities like Manehattan and Las Pegasus, but the general stuffiness of the nobles tended to put the brakes on anything too... frivolous. It excelled at state holidays and ceremonial events, but new and impromptu celebrations... not so much.
What it did excel at was the day after. No city was more skilled than Canterlot at cleaning up and getting back to work. An odd claim to fame, to be sure, but it wasn't like the city was lacking in other titles to compensate. Canterlot was, at its core, a city built on bureaucracy. And bureaucracy doesn't care if you're a human or a pony; just get back to work if you don't want it to collapse.
Thankfully, much like an army, a bureaucracy marches on its stomach, so some breaks had to be allowed.
And so, when the twelve o'clock bell rang out in Canterlot the day after the official week-long 'Humanity Revelation' celebration ended, civil servants and office drones alike poured forth from Canterlot municipal buildings like a tide of starving termites.
Among them was a young unicorn with a mane the color of faded strawberries and a coat like Ticonderoga No. 2 pencil lead. She stopped outside her building and allowed the crowd to flow past as her eyes scanned faces and cutie marks. After a moment she smiled and waved. Across the plaza, a pegasus gave a halfhearted wave back. Together they swam through the crowd and met on its outskirt.
"Hiya Legal!" the unicorn beamed, "What kept you so long?"
The pegasus groaned and used his wings to push back the stray mint hairs that had fallen over his glasses. "Work has been a nightmare today, Penny. It's been nonstop since the second I clocked in. It's a madhouse in there."
The pair began walking, the act much easier now that the initial rush had died down. "Totes same for me. Though it sounds like you had it worse."
"It's these insufferable name change forms," he grumbled, "I swear every pony and their mother wants to change their name. Seriously, just go by a nickname or something! You don't have to legally change it! You can call yourself whatever you want!"
Penny gave his withers a soft pat. A small gesture, but one of unspoken camaraderie. "We all get days like that. I'm sure things'll settle down after a while. Tell you what? Why don't we go to Allspice's Cafe, huh? My treat."
"Allspice's is gone," he muttered.
Penny stopped in her tracks. Every muscle in her body tightened at once as her naturally over-enthusiastic Equestrian flight-or-fight response kicked in. "What?! Gone? Allspice's can't be gone. It's the best cheap place in Canterlot! What do you mean gone?!"
"Calm down Penny," a new voice, soft and soothing cut in. "Mr. Grumpy-pants here," Legal grunted as a feathery body lightly hip-checked him, "Is just spreading his misery. Allspice's Cafe is still around, they just rebranded as Alice's."
All the tension left Penny's body as she sighed in relief. The newcomer was also a pegasus, though almost a head shorter than Legal. "Oh, thank Admin. I don't know what I'd do without that cafe."
"Starve, probably."
Penny grinned at her friend's dark humor, a much-needed salve to Legal's grumps. "Things going good for you, Updraft?"
Updraft shrugged. "Eh, same old, same old. The big reveal hasn't affected my workload any. Just cause everyone's a human doesn't mean they suddenly need to update their property titles and deeds. I spent most of the morning working on my novel."
Legal grumbled something under his breath about ponies getting paid too much to do nothing, but was ignored. The three continued to chat amicably (or in Legal's case, grumble intermittently) as they navigated the streets of Canterlot towards Alice's.
When they arrived, the restaurant was bustling. Ponies filled the establishment's three levels as the smell of foods both fried and fresh wafted out windows and off balconies. The signboard out front proclaiming its new name was an obvious change (including a smaller notice warning of wet paint), but that aside it still seemed the same place the trio had been patronizing for months.
"Table for three please," Penny told the host as they entered, "And this meal's on the Pencil Pusher tab."
The stallion nodded in acknowledgment and guided them to a cozy table on the veranda, perfect for pony-watching while they ate. He poured their complimentary waters, reminded them of the strict no-littering policy for the veranda, and let them know that their waiter would be arriving shortly. As the group settled in, Updraft decided it was high time to break the funk.
"Alright Legal. Spill." She ordered, her tone leaving no room for argument.
Legal moved as if to say something snarky, but seeing her expression, thought better of it. He sighed and finally opened up to vent. "It's just been a classic case of bureaucracy run amuck. The minute we opened up this morning the post office started dropping off bags of mail like it was the end of Miracle of 34th Street. Everyone wants a name change. Boss called in all the temp workers and even some from second shift to help process the load. It wasn't so bad at first; tedious, but not hard. But then they started making all these new rules about what names were allowed. First it was just no profanity. Then no famous pony names. Then no famous human names. Then no names that required nonstandard characters. Then some genius, no doubt with a private office, decided that names which were a pun or references needed to be marked and sent back for an additional form." He grabbed his glass and drained it, rewetting his throat to continue. "Not to mention, every time they added a new rule, one of the managers took a portion of the staff off the front end to reprocess all the forms we'd just finished to make sure they complied with the new rules! And the changelings! Don't even get me started on them! I swear every single one them has the exact same hoofwriting and not one of them can write an H, a U, an N, or an M without it looking like all four at once! It's melting my brain out my ears!"
It was about this time that a pony approached their table on near-silent hooves. He was a completely ordinary and boring stallion except for his wings, horn, black fur, blood red mane, and a pale jagged scar that ran across his eye.
"Good afternoon," he said with a voice like chocolate being poured over a gold brick, "I am Lord Edgelord. Lord of Edges and Edgiest of Lords, and I will be your server this afternoon. Does everypony know what they'd like to drink?"
Silence reigned at the table as the three diners stared, jaws slack and open, at their waiter. After a moment, he chuckled and his red eyes (which, oddly, had three smaller pupils orbiting the central one) briefly flashed with green fire. A quick burst of flames after that reduced the crime against character design to a much more visually-palatable reformed changeling.
"Sorry," he apologized, "You looked like you needed a laugh. I can do impressions if you don't like OCs. I do a killer OG Luna."
Like a lingering stench, the silence continued. And then, Legal snorted. He tried to hold it back but he was quickly overpowered by the need to laugh. Soon the others joined in as well, hearty laughter from Penny and light giggling titters from Updraft.
"Oh, oh... ha ha haaa. Oh yeah, I needed that." Legal said through his diminishing chuckles. "Thanks, uh..."
"Micheal." The changeling provided, "But I'm not really to tied to any particular name. I'll go by anything." He shifted into a tan stallion with a blue mane, still with his work apron on. "I call this guy 'Swift Service' when I'm working."
"Well then, Swift, thanks for lifting my mood. I guess it's not all that bad." Legal let out a final sigh and even his stressed posture seemed to slacken into something comfortable. "And I'll take a water. No, I need a pick-me-up. Make it a root beer float."
"Ooh, seconded!" Penny chimed in.
"Eh, make it three. And make it malted if you can."
Swift Service nodded. "Three root beer floats it is then, one malted. Also, we're having a 'no menu' special today. To celebrate the revival of humanity, order anything you can think of and our chefs will try their hardest to make your most nostalgic flavors a reality. It just costs a flat charge up front."
"Pen... Pe... Pencil Pusher!"
Penny turned at the sound of her name being called. Coming up the street was an older stallion, his hair streaked with silver, running like Tirek himself was hot on his hooves. He came to a skidding stop just outside their table.
"Ticker Tape?" Penny asked, immediately recognizing her coworker, "What is it? What's going on?"
The stallion panted, wheezing for a moment before finally collecting enough air to speak. "We- we need you back at the patent office right away! It's an emergency!"
The mare rose from her seat in alarm, ready to leap the fence between them if necessary. "What's wrong?"
"A couple of unicorn brothers just came in with over two hundred patent applications!"
Penny frowned and sat back down. "Ticker, that's not an emergency. Ponies have been doing that all week, trying to claim any and every piece of human tech they can think of for their own. That's why the Princess made an edict that they have to have a working prototype to stake a claim."
"But they do!" Ticker Tape insisted, his eyes wild and panicked, "They brought some kind of magic car filled with gizmos and contraptions! And all their paperwork is properly filled out!"
Penny's breath hitched in her throat. Impossible! No one ever filled out all the paperwork, let alone correctly, before coming into the patent office!
"They said they'd been waiting for this for a long time," Ticker continued, "Ever since the first season. Penny... they have Class A priority forms, pre-notarized in triplicate. We don't even offer those anymore!"
That was the final straw. Penny leaped from her seat and jumped over the decorative railing that separated the dining area from the street. "Then there's no time to waste!" She turned back to her friends with a rueful expression. "Sorry, but I gotta take care of this. I'm the only ranking manager on duty today. They need my clearance to access the records."
"Go, go." Updraft shooed her off with small motions. "Do what you need to do. We understand." Legal nodded in agreement.
"Thanks!" Penny started to run, Ticker hot on her heels. "Order whatever you want! It's on my tab!"
In seconds they were out of sight, lost in the crowds and twisting streets. Legal turned back to Swift, his expression emotionless. "So I'm thinking I'll have the lobster... and does that come deep-fried?"
Several tables away, a newspaper fell over, the pony previously holding it vanishing in an unnoticed flash of light.
In a flash of lavender light, Starlight Glimmer appeared in a narrow alley between two houses. It was far from the first alley she had been in over the last few days, but it was thankfully the cleanest. She breathed deeply, but quietly, as the aching in her horn flared again with magic burnout. Powerful spellcaster though she was, chain-teleporting still took a lot of energy and concentration; something which was not helped by a lack of sleep, not giving her mana time to recharge, and the growing panic that clouded her thoughts.
Nowhere was safe. For the past several days she'd scoured Equestria for any sort of ally or comrade. Any pony she might be able to turn to for help. Yet, everywhere she went, there were no ponies. Or rather, there were a great many somethings wearing pony skin. They spoke strangely, using many words she didn't understand, but above all it was abundantly clear that these "humans" were not ponies, despite their appearances. She had heard them admit as much many times.
She'd heard it in the Crystal Empire, where she'd seen her childhood friend playing a strange instrument and singing songs that made no sense.
She'd heard it in Ponyville, where her friend and mentor lounged in her castle binging on thin slices of potato (somehow ignoring its potent toxins) as fast as her apparently not actually a dragon assistant could fry them.
She'd heard it in Canterlot and Manehattan. In Fillydelphia and Las Pegasus. In rural villages and bustling metropolises.
She'd even heard it in Sire's Hollow where her own father griped and bemoaned over the inconvenience of his own hooves.
And what was this 'cannon' that they all spoke of? Some kind of weapon? But she'd seen no destruction. As far as nationwide takeovers went, this one had been alarmingly bloodless. Was this cannon so terrible a weapon that every single pony from Princess to farmer bowed at the mere threat of its use? And why was she the only one unaffected?
She'd run to the farthest reaches of Equestria: to her last vestige of hope. A place so far away from civilization that it was practically unknown save by its residents and the hoofful of rare visitors. A place she'd once called home.
Cautiously (and invisibly, just in case) Starlight stepped out from the alley onto the main road of Our Town.
Our Town looked much as she had last seen it, though the road was a little longer and there were a couple of new houses. Familiar faces trotted by without noticing her, acting for all the world as though there was nothing wrong. Starlight felt a surge of hope in her heart. Could she finally have found a place spared from the human invasion?
Spotting Party Favor and Double Diamond across the road, she stepped closer to listen to their conversation.
"...and that was the last I saw of him," Party Favor said as he wrapped up some story.
Double Diamond nodded. "I get his reasons, but I still don't like it."
"Yeah, not everyone was a big fan of Starlight, so it makes sense why he left, but at least most of us stuck around."
Another surge of hope filled Starlight's chest. Not only did they seem to be ponies, but they still liked her. They were allies to her cause. She prepared the magic to release her invisibility spell and-
"The forum was never the same without him."
-she stopped. Our Town didn't have a forum. Or any other sort of amphitheater-like place for meetings and discussions. Within the warm glow of hope, a small black worm of worry began gnawing away.
Unaware of Starlight's growing dismay, the conversation continued on without her. "Yeah, Starlight can be pretty divisive, whether she's pre- or post- reformation. Still, I'd say we were pretty lucky that we got to meet her in person and have front row seats to the whole thing."
Party Favor nodded sagely in agreement. "Too true. Hey, you think she was aware of everything and playing along, or did we actually get to meet the genuine article?"
"Who knows," Diamond replied with a noncommittal shrug. "No way to tell unless she comes back and we ask her."
"I do wish she'd come back." Party Favor shifted on his hooves. "Be nice to meet her properly and talk about everything.
"Yeah..."
Once again, Starlight felt a surge of that same mercurial hope. The forum comment was concerning, but that aside they still sounded like the Party Favor and Double Diamond she knew. The same voices, the same mannerisms, the same everything. But any chance that hope took to grow, the worm of worry also took to gnaw at its foundations before harsh reality toppled it fully.
"But then again," Double Diamond spoke as his words swung like a wrecking ball towards Starlight teetering tower of hope, "Where would she stay since we tore her house down?"
What.
Starlight's brain froze. Slowly, almost against her will, she rotated in place to face down the street. True to their word and much to her shock, at the end of the road her house (the house she had built herself) was no more. In its place was a tree. A tall evergreen. Tall enough that it must have been planted quite a while ago, even taking earth pony magic into account.
"Yeah, shame about that." Party Favor's words trickled into her ears like grease down an oubliette. "But, you know, canon said we had to do it, so we did it. Maybe we can turn the tree into a library or something, like Twilight had back in the early seasons. I wonder who you go to for that, an architect or a gardener?"
Starlight heard the words but didn't hear them. There it was again. Cannon. Blasted cannon. A weapon? An entity? Whatever it was had led these humans to replace her friends and family and assume their lives, but now it had made them tear down her house? The house she'd built with her own two hooves?! Both hope and worry shriveled then burned in the fires of anger. This fight had just become personal.
Not bothering to remove the invisibility, Starlight charged her horn with another teleport. A teleport this far was going to hurt, she knew all too well, but there was nothing for it. If there was no help to be found in Equestria, then she was going to have to go outside to get some. Luckily, she was at least acquainted with several groups she could turn to in times of trouble, some that she already had friends in as well. Or, at least, she hoped they were still her friends.
With little disturbance save for a rush of air filling a void, Starlight left the village and Equestria.
Yeah, this really makes it hit home how, for Starlight, this is obviously some supernatural attack on a scale and ranger on par with Tirek himself. And she wants to save her friends.
It's going to blow up hilariously in her face, though
Outside Equestria? Are we finally getting Sunset in on this?
Also, why is there no Sunset emoji?
I get the feeling that's how the actual Sombra rose to power.
"Sir, human or not, we're still in the middle of the continent."
In any case, the Starlight Crusader's in for a very bizarre adventure. Lookong forward to seeing where she goes and just how everyone reacts to her return. And what happens to Equestria in the meantime.
Fun Fact: Starlight Glimmer is actually trapped in one of the Dystopian alternate timelines that she created.
9676270
Dunno, Starlight's at least on to something here. We know that while there were some like Fluttershy who were humans-gone-ponies since birth, others just outright replaced ponies. Where have those ponies gone?
9676277
Um, to be fair, he wasn't original in that. That is literally how Hitler got control of Germany. He got some entry level position and rose in rank and popularity until one day he got elected Prime Minister. Pretty good for a guy that flunked out of art school all things considered.
Man, I feel so terrible for Starlight. Learning as an honest to good equine the reality shattering truth that every”pony” you thought you knew is, or so they act, speak and declare themselves to be, some kind of bipedal creature with an obsession about something you can’t possibly understand (the infamous deity called ‘cannon’) is quite the deal breaker. Hopefully she finds some fellow ponies, real ones. Perhaps Sunset is really a pony, too? And what about the other races or Discord?
Otherwise Starlight is literally... the Last Unicorn. Though it sounds like some real ponies were simply replaced by humans, that’s kind of disturbing. Where are they?
Starlight, Starlight, Starlight. Charging in barely knowing anything about your “enemy’s” true intentions? Never a good idea. Then again, if every other human on Earth’s personality radically changed and society as I know it underwent a massive shift in a near-instant, I doubt I’d be thinking rather clearly either. I’d at least try to find an explanation before taking action, though. Can’t wait to see the massive fucksplosion resulting from Starlight “Friendship-Lesson-Cramming” Glimmer attempting to solve this “problem”.
Starlight, you really need to take a moment, catch your breath, and talk it out with your friends and family BEFORE taking drastic action.
9676365
She tried that in this chapter, but everywhere she went she saw more and more of these mind-warped versions of friends and family.
Which, to be fair, they are. Starlight isn't wrong in that all her friends and family were replaced by other things. That's what makes this whole situation so screwed up.
9676369
It was a loop in MLP Time Loops by Saphroneth. I don't remember what chapter it was In so you will have to read the whole thing to find it.
9676365
9676383
To be fair, I think Starlight has every reason to panic and to be more than just worried. Having everybody you love be “replaced” by some aliens who suddenly behave dfferently in terms of personality, in comparison to what you knew, is not a situation most will handle rationally.
9676403
Honestly? Starlight's actions seem quite rational to me. Everyone she knows and loves has been taken away from her, and now she's looking if anyone at all is left to try and solve the crisis.
9676403
I'm not saying she has no reason to panic, I AM saying that a paniced plan of action rarely works in the favor of the one who made the plan so she should TRY to catch her breath and FOCUS.
Starlight Glimmer continues to be the best part of this
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In Starlight's defense, this is also not the first time this exact situation has happened to her. And even the first time she only just managed to save the day by the skin of her teeth (with the help of a few friends and her ability to quietly hit a big rock with a smaller rock).
9676320
Weird segue, but credit to you for the fastest application of Godwin's Law I've ever witnessed.
9676573
I don't know Godwin's Law so I will have to take your word for it. You know, most people assume he took the position by force but he was actually elected into office.
9676583
Source Wikipedia. Although I believe your example would be closer to "Reality's weirder than fiction", to be honest.
KILROY WAS HERE
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You see, my grandma was born in Germany in 1941 so WWII history seemed especially relevant to me.
9676277
Now there's a writing prompt. The Rise of Sombra: A Comedy of Errors.
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Not to toot/plug my own horn, but that's basically the premise of another of my stories, albeit with Celestia and Luna.
Did the allusion of Flurry is because she is a adult in baby body or because she managed by herself to learn a little?
9676566
Oh! Forgot that this was Post-Reformation Starlight, Friend of Trixie and all!
----
Chapter Title Pun! 'Cause there indeed are no Ponies slowly adjusting! What Starlight's doing is, not "slowly adjusting".
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Typo:
Smokey > Smoky
9676277
Actually, Sombra rose to power by deadass murdering the previous monarch in a fit of angst.
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Have you, by any chance, seen the 70's version of "Land of the Lost"? The everybody taking the characters places reminded me of that series.
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A bit before my time, but it looks neat.
Sadly, Starlight was out of Ponyville when there WAS an actual pony in Equestria. Tragic.
This chapter seems a lot more serious than comedic. I don't mind, not a complaint, just an observation.
I find myself very interested in what Flim and Flam's exact plan is.
Thanks for the shoutout!
-GM, master of bungalows.
9676732
This could be a spoiler, but it explains how the "Land of the Lost" world works. So I will give it a spoiler tag.
In the "Land of the Lost" world, People can only enter if the exact same number of people leave at the exact same time.
Again, the spoiler explained how the world functions, so no major plot points spoiled.
At this point, this story should be renamed to 'Starlight is the only pony in Equestria'.
9676304
One possible theory taken from MLP Loops is that literally everyone is a reincarnated human, and each one was 'awaken' at different time. Starlight, however, damaged/destroyed her awaken lock with her time-reversal shenanigan. Thus, disable her from 'awakening' or greatly delay it to unforeseeable future.
9676756
Not only that, if you stood on a high place and used a pair of binoculars to look into the distance... you could see the back of your own head.
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That would annoy me to no end, tbh. Like how Will felt afterward.
9676304
Could be looking at a looping paradox of some sort. The present is the only thing that exists, so whenever anyone transmigrated to Equestria they got the memories of the pony they were - in essence, they were always that pony, even before the point in time where they arrived and 'took over'.
Guh, I hope Starlight doesn't go to Plan A for dealing with this: Talk to no one about it and abuse magic to solve all her problems unethically. If the whole world but you is 'affected', then logically speaking it's probably just you that's fucked in the head, Glimglam. Statistical probability being what it is, as well as the fact beings more powerful than you were 'affected', so there's absolutely no reason why you'd be safe.
What if she's also a human, but was a coma patient with brain damage or something? No memory but Starlight's.
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Believe me I understand. It'd be worse to deal with, though. Damn cool premise, though. I was at the right age when it came on so a lot of those stories made a lasting impression. That one that Holly met her older self, that was also weird. It was depressing because it meant they never got out. The Land of the Lost was a Space-Time Bermuda Triangle.
9677061
Funnily, the whole taking the character's place made me think of "Land of the Lost". I've seen all of the 70's series, heard 80's is a different universe, so not missing much. Seen the live action Avatar: The Last Airbender entry, and no I didn't get the name wrong.
Hello Sombra
Viable
And those two are viable
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If you're talking about the movie by M. Night Shamalayn, then you are wrong about the name. The movie was only ever titled The Last Airbender, and it was because of a copyright dispute with the Avatar movie that came out earlier. Also the movie sucks terribly.
Edit: misspelled name
9677111
No body accepts it, no matter what it is called. Besides, there was never a live action The Last Airbender movie. 66.media.tumblr.com/1e1c1198aeae353971c0df4a92d03da9/tumblr_inline_nd1hqqgO211rel27k.jpg
Question is, does Twilight notice that Starlight is missing? There's no way she'd just forget about one of the most powerful magic users, right? A top mage like Starlight dropping off the face of the Earth should set off warning bells.
I love how you turned a silly comedy premise into a full plot story.
Starlight: The Last Unicorn, or, How I stopped worrying and learned to love/hate/dominate/livewith the humans.
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Also, Trixie saw her confusion, yet didn’t said anything?
Sooo... Does she actually a pony, or just messed up in the head human? They all got in here by different means, Sombra even with memories, she could had her memory wiped in the process.
Note: I'm only saying this to clear up any possible confusion. No one said anything yet, but I would rather say it now.
I want to state, for the record, that I didn't grow up in the 70's. I just happened to been shown the "Land of the Lost" (70's series) by my father. I will turn 20 this year, so if someone wants to ask me questions about the 70's or something, sorry. I'm the wrong guy to ask.
I've been waiting for this! if the entire world was afflicted with a bad case of "actually a human" then [Spoiler warning if you aren't caught up by the by] starlight just sorta loses it but if the other species weren't affected then we get to see their reactions to all ponies suddenly just going berserk for no reason all at once! win-win either way!
9677123
There is no war in Ba Sing Se and the live action Avatar the Last Airbender doesn't exist
How she hasn't noticed that small detail when she visited "Our Town" with Trixie?
Don't you mean "in another fanfic"?
9683014 Well.... we do have Spike, along with all the changelings. So if a single dragon (along with an entire hive mind) was human, then it's possible that all the other dragons, along with the griffons and everything else are as well.
This probably won't end well for Starlight.
Sad thing is that in this story Starlight never did know the original Mane 6, Trixie, Spike, Maud, ect. The whole time they were just humans playing the parts.
Starlight is going to get replaced by a human at a very inopportune time, probably coinciding with the end or near to the end of the story, right? The pattern is well-established, quite a few of the humans in Equestria came in to bodies that were already grown.