I'm giving the first like. I'm rather surprised, cause this is rather good and funny. Can't wait to see the rest of it, and congrats on the great story

this title is kinda my life. Ngl

Pretty good so far. It's a bit odd that Discord dismissed sex as "just chemicals" when he's trying hard to get drunk - which is, again, just chemicals. I guess he's been drunk before - perhaps visiting the ambrosia shops of Olympus, or stopping by the Restaurant at the End of the Universe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?

VIRGIN DICORD

9470843
Discord doesn't believe in consistency

Yeah I imagine he CAN get drunk, it just requires like really intense stuff that's pretty much only made by immortals, for immortals. Which you can't easily get a hold of in Equestria. But maybe Twilight will take pity and get some of the Good Stuff from Celestia :') I'm sure the alicorns have their own special, secret brew

Thanks for commenting!

"Who needs sex when you have D&D?" bothisgood.gif

9470966
imagine sex except you roll for dexterity before starting and if you do well you get to pull off a Kinky Position but if you roll too low you're liable to get kicked in the fucking face and punted off the bed entirely

I think this is the first story I've been excited about in years. I personally hope that Discord ends up with Celestia one way or another, but I know I'm going to end up loving whatever happens. I have to say, I don't buy for a minute that Discord isn't at least a little bit embarrassed or nervous about his virginity. It's easy to be confident in a room full of drunk people, or it's easy to talk about it. But we'll see how bold he is when push comes to shove.

I'm also curious to hear Big Mac's and possibly Spike's take on Discord's new venture. If Discord gets laid, what is that going to do to the OnO group?

9471015
You skipped plenty of rolls, such as seduction, perception, sense motive and Constitution

it was ok I look forward to the part 2 of venom/twilight

9470955

Perhaps a little Moonshine?

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/22546/drop-of-moonshine

This is what I get for not finishing The 4000 Year Old Virgin fast enough, isn't it?

cinnamon vodka

I hope this is not a real thing. If it is, I'm going to do everything in my power to get it internationally banned.

I hope he gets together with someone totally unexpected. Someone who would create a lot of chaotic reactions in his friends, y'know? Like... Thorax. Who can become anyone he wants to be at any point. Perfect for Discord!

9471408

I came here out of curiosity over the title similarity.

"Wasn't there another...? Hmmmm. Not a sequel? What's going on here? Oh! Ocalhoun outted himself!"

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/11/5/1875812.png

9471408
omg I didn't even know about your fic. :'D But that's pretty great how similar the titles are

9471546
SEE this is exactly what I'm here for, Twilight gets all the talented unicorn ladies, they just can't resist her!

9471481
I hope it doesn't exist either but it seems like exactly the sort of awful thing only Pinkie would think is a good idea

except the plot twist is she doesn't want it either please someone drink this horrible stuff she made so she doesn't have to keep it

9471481
I've got some bad news for you...
cdn1.wine-searcher.net/images/labels/75/15/burnett-s-hot-cinnamon-flavored-vodka-kentucky-usa-10357515.jpg

9471699
I just felt my stomach turn itself inside out and light itself on fire

oof

Looks at description and author.

Who are you, and what have you done with the real Spyro-For-Life?

Not sorry.

9471797
You clearly aren't familiar with my old Invader Zim fanfics. And the Gravity Falls ones for that matter. I write some dumb shit and I have no shame :V

9471699
I hate you so much for bringing this to my attention.

9471562
Its honestly not that bad. I haven't had that brand, in fact most times I got the home made stuff. Still, I'm a Romanoff Drinker and that stuff is borderline paintthinner.

Wonder how much Discord is going to regret this eve when RD gets going.

Is this based off 40 Year Old Virgin movie?

9472677
I know nothing about that movie other than the title, which is what I based this title off of. About the only thing I'm sure they have in common is "trying to get Characer laid" but the way I go about things will probably be quite different from how that movie does so yea

These conversations make me wonder who Pinkie is into in this story and if it will somehow come up.

9473048
It’s pretty much the same setup that you gave, surprisingly considering you never saw the movie. In the 40 year old virgin the main character accidentally slips during a poker game with his friends at work that he was still a virgin, and after making fun of him for a bit they decide to help him get laid.

9471083
Celestia? Rather be it Tempest! Still less dangerous for a mate than Pinkie.

YESSSSSS
I love it haha
Glad to see your back in the Discord ships hehe
ooh i wouldve loved to actually see Discord and Twilight ending up with each other since they both share the lack of interest in sex haha (#OTP)
But as long as its not gonna be Flutters or Pinkie ending up with him i'm fine with whoever haha

aaargh so hyped for the next chap ^^ im sure its gonna be amazing haha <3 <3 <3

~Nerfy

This is going to be hilariously tortuous for all involved. RD's going to loose hee mind trying to get an asexual god to bang, Discord's going to immensely regret ever playing truth or dare, and all of Ponyvil is going to suffer through Rainbow's quest.

I'm very excited to see where this goes. I wonder if Discord simply doesn't understand the magic of "le boner" or if he's just riding the Ace Train.

He sighed and went over to throw himself onto his couch, shaking his head. Ponies sure could get hung up on the weirdest things. Who needed sex when Ogres & Oubliettes existed? He'll never understand that biological hangup.

The line of every Dungeons and Dragons player ever!

9725927
have played D&D, can confirm
then again i'm asexual so my perspective is already skewed

He stretched and decided to retire to his room for the night. Rainbow got so drunk she passed out, he reasoned. She probably won't even remember the last few dares. Which meant, hopefully, she won't harass him about getting laid. With that comforting thought in mind, he turned out the lights and went to bed.

Discord, you still have the hypnotic eyes, don't you? You could 'make' her forget, 'make' everypony there forget, and have them believe it's due to the alcohol salt they had.

10088392
He COULD but I imagine he's moved beyond doing such things to ponies. Even if they wouldn't realize, they're still his friends and he wouldn't feel right doing it. You better believe he complains about this new conscience of his all the time to Fluttershy :'D

This is a really solid premise, after all Discord is more a force of nature than a living thing, it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine he just never had an interest.