Displaced, But Nothing Goes Right

by BradyBunch

If I Try to Convince Nightmare to STAHP

“Come on, Nightmare,” I coldly said, twirling the sword in my hands, even though I was inexperienced. “If you don't want to be on the same planet as me, just go back to the moon.”

“But I don't want to go back to the moon!” she protested, firing a laser at me. “I want to rule Equestria!”

I deflected the laser blast, and the bolt ricocheted into the ground. “Maybe you would have better success in trying to win the ponies over to your side than in ruling over them!”

“What meanest thou?” Nightmare asked, pausing in combat.

“If you apologized to Celestia for kidnapping her and desired to rule by her side, she'd welcome you back with open arms!” I reasoned slowly. “Your way is full of flaws. Without the sun, the world is going to grow barren and cold, and the ponies of this land will die. Who is going to be left to worship you?”

That seemed to strike a chord with her. She licked her lips in thought and pawed at the ground.

“I mean, look, I get it. You were wronged in the past. Sorry. But what, are you gonna destroy the world and expect ponies to worship you as you want them to?”

“I likest thou not because thou hast pointed out flaws in my plan,” Nightmare said huffingly. Then her expression softened. “But those flaws are pretty stupid, I guess. What wouldst thou recommend?”

“...Like I said,” I said impatiently. “Make it up to Celestia, and she'll gladly welcome you back. Celestia isn't the kind of pony to reject your apology.”

“She is, however, the sort of pony to send me to the moon!”

“Because you were about to destroy the world!” I retorted heavily. “And besides, would you rather have her kill you? Sending you to the moon was an act of mercy, because it allowed for you to have a potential second chance at redemption! She still loves you enough to let you try again for the right way!”

Nightmare blinked in surprise. She lowered her head in thought.

“What is the right way?” she whispered.

“Not destroying the world,” I helpfully supplied.

“And reuniting with my sister?” she whispered, much softer than her booming tone.

I noticed her change in tone and accordingly changed my own. “Yes.”

I then knelt down, laying my sword in front of me like a proper honorable warrior that I saw in anime. “I can help you do it, Nightmare. You can do it. This dream you have is a nightmare for many others. But together… we can dream a better dream.” I held out my hand. “What do you say?”

Nightmare thought about it. I could see from the way her face contorted in anguish and thought. I waited on her reply with bated breath.

Finally, Nightmare looked me in the eye and gently smiled.

“Nope!”

And she blasted me in the face, tearing the flesh off my bone.

Then I died.

Author's Note:

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Well I thought it was a good argument...

[The Bricklayer]

9451915
Same. I honestly thought this would work as well...

[FTR2017]

This one was lame, I'm afraid. The whole 'groundhog-day' thing you got going here from a few chapters ago - even if they made sense - seem more like an unimaginative attempt rather than 'parody/satire' as you wished.

Will keep on reading, and I hope the last two don't disappoint like these ones.

[Gizmo Gear]

And she blasted me in the face, tearing the flesh off my bone.

Then I died.

*insert unending scream of fuck*

[RDDash]

Speech 100 made me laugh; I really hate it when you max up your skills like that and NPC would just swoon at you.