Displaced, But Nothing Goes Right

by BradyBunch

If the Weapon Works, But I Don't Go to Equestria.

When the old man laid the weapon in my hands, I felt a surge of electricity spark from the scabbard and flow through my hands. I stared in awestruck wonder as the power of the mystical artifact coursed through my body and made the hair on my back stand up.

“Have a pleasant time in your new land of Equestria,” the man said with an evil grin. “And be sure to write all about it for the world to endure!”

Just before I fainted from the powerful overload, the man widened his eyes. “Wait, is that going to Equestria at all? What if you're going to Winterfell or Tatooine instead? Or...someplace...far worse! No! NO! Give it to me! This isn't the plan!”

I was too weak to comprehend it immediately, but the man suddenly reached for the weapon in my hands as if to wrest it from my grip. Before he could, however, the world vanished in a flash of white, and I felt myself drift away into sleep.

---

I weakly opened my eyes. The sun was shining directly in them, making me blink before sitting up and making out the terrain.

All around me were flowing hills in crests of green. The sky was vivid blue, the clouds were white and puffy, and the sun was...a baby face?

I stumbled back in shock, and the sun-baby smiled and laughed cheerfully.

I wheeled around, checking my surroundings. Twenty feet away, four eight-foot-tall giants looked down at me with overdrawn lips in an obscene smile. They were red, purple, yellow, and green, and had strange symbols on their skulls like TV antennas.

I'm in the Teletubbies!

I swiftly drew my new awesome Bleach sword and considered my options. I wasn't on earth anymore, I was alone, and I couldn't communicate with the inhabitants, who were waddling over to me cheerfully. My family would never hear about me anyway, and I would spend the rest of my life in the Teletubbies TV show world.

I can't live like this anymore! I eventually decided in grief.

Then I took a deep breath, reversed the blade to point at my chest, and fell on my sword. Blood flew out and colored the jade grass under me a ruby hue. My warm liquid life cascading from underneath me was making me feel woozy.

The last thing I remembered before fading away was the inhuman shrieks of shock from the blood-spattered Teletubbies.

Then I died.

Author's Note:

Just a heads-up: I'm going to die a lot in this fic.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Oh, come on man!

That's not at all how you perform seppuku!

[The Bricklayer]

9451908
But in this case, it's well earned.

[parflon]

... actually I would read a fanfic about displaced in teletubbies. It's such a bizarre idea.

[vortex123]

Dude I think you need to see a therapist, like no joke I’m genuinely concerned

[BradyBunch]

9452202
Nah, man. I'm good.

[FTR2017]

I too would do the same if I were to get stuck in the Teletubbies show.

...

[Who cares]

9452125
The whole story would hinge on how long it took the main character to lose their will to live or just murder the Teletubbies.