Displaced, But Nothing Goes Right

by BradyBunch

If I Go to Equestria and Get Into My First Battle, But I Immediately Die Because I'm a N00B

When my consciousness slowly returned, I blinked eye crud out of my face and looked around. I was lying on my back, presumably from a solid impact. Luckily I hadn't fallen too far.

After sitting up on my butt, I stood up. I was in a dilapidated ruin of a cold stone castle. Cobwebs stretched in the corners and rubble caked the floor. The stones in the walls were as crumbly as stale bread.

I nervously fondled the sword hanging at my side. Somehow I had been taken in my outfit with the magic sword to this new place. I half-drew the blade, and the high-pitched sound it made echoed in the old ruin.

I cringed slightly, then relaxed. Nothing was there.

After confirming my position, I began to weave my way deeper into the castle ruin. Having my right hand on the handle of my sword brought some semblance of stability to my frame, but the overpowering dread all around me made me tremble nonetheless. It was so dark…and it was cold. Stiflingly cold, the kind of cold that permeated the cells in my body and froze my veins to a crawling trudge.

My mind, though, was going a mile a minute. I was on the verge of panic. Nothing like this had happened to me before. Was I abducted into some sort of escape room by the comic-con staff? Because if I was, the way they had done it was badly executed. There was a nagging thought, however, that this wasn't a simple prank. It scared me and made sense to my beleaguered brain, so I stayed far away from it.

After mostly wandering around, I eventually came out of a doorway into an abandoned courtyard, where darkness ruled the heavens above and ruin reigned the ground. The only thing of note in the courtyard was a pedestal in the middle holding five stone spheres.

I made my way over in curiosity. When I was close enough, I slowly reached my hand out to fondle one of the orbs.

“Not so fast, lowly creature!”

I wheeled around in fright, looking at the opposite end of the courtyard.

At the northern end of the courtyard, an ebony, regal winged unicorn, with black armor and teal feline pupils, stared me down with a hateful glare. A tangible aura of menace radiated off her like smoke from a fire, dripping like fog into the ground and spilling over the cobblestones like a flood of water, obscuring my feet and her hooves.

I recognized this pony. I knew her.

“Y-you?” I whispered in shock, drawing the Zanpakuto. The sword grew in length to become a serrated black-and-white-edged blade that I held in two hands. The blade in my hands was shaking imperceptibly.

“Yea, unknown creature,” the winged unicorn emanated in a mystical tone. The fog seeped across the ground, making me feel like I was in a dream. Or a nightmare.

“ ‘Tis I,” the creature continued. “Who is the pony thou speakest to again?”

“You're Nightmare Moon,” I whispered. The flat tip of my sword dipped. “From-”

“From the legends.” Nightmare Moon incorrectly finished. She smiled, showing her fangs. “Congratulations on thy knowledge of Equestrian mythology.”

If by mythology she meant the TV canon, she was right. It also confirmed the sneaking suspicion that the old man at the con was also correct. For some odd reason, I was in the land of Equestria.

I had seen the show rather recently, and I was getting through season 5 just as the Comic-Con started. I knew plenty about the show already, but not enough to certify myself as a full-fledged brony.

“Now, my subject!” Nightmare Moon declared regally. “The night reigneth. Bow down and serve thy eternal ruler.”

Though my knees were weak, I managed to straighten them and lift my blade. “Not if I have anything to say about it!”

“You're kidding.” Nightmare Moon looked exasperated. “You're kidding, right? That's the best thing you could have chosen to say?”

I held the sword in front of my face. Resolve flooded my body. I could do this. I needed to do this. I could destroy Nightmare Moon. If the powers of the sword were real--which I was willing to accept, as the day had been going down a rabbit hole already--then I could trap her soul. Zanpakuto could hurt spirits, deities, and other spiritual monsters. It could surely have an effect on Nightmare Moon.

I whirled the sword above my head. I hadn’t been trained in wielding a sword before, but I had seen Bleach so often now that I knew exactly what I was doing.

“Nightmare Moon!” I bellowed. “You have failed Equestria!”

And I charged, cleaving the sword downward.

Nightmare Moon boredly immobilized me, and after solidifying me like a statue with my sword above my head, shot a laser blast from her horn. The bolt of powerful magic struck against my chest. It was like she had thrown a clump of lava into my chest, and my body roared in burning pain.

Flaming, I tumbled like a ragdoll and finally hit the base of my scalp against the ground. The last thing I remembered was that Nightmare Moon cackled madly amidst a flash of lightning.

Then I died.

Author's Note:

Ya N00B.

Comments

[The Bricklayer]

Pro-Tip. Just because you get a powerful weapon, doesn't mean you always know how to use it. Yet another thing I'm fed up with in Displaced Stories, the character always knowing how to use these bloody things as soon as they get them. That's not how the real world works!

[FTR2017]

9452101
Yup, I fully agree with you. It is most vexing - usually blamed on 'implanted knowledge' or somesuch thing by the Displacer/Merchant.

I blame the Lohav group for starting that trend.