I like how they're somehow managing to skirt around the fact that she's a murderer who was bent on enslaving a nation to conquer Equestria with a force of unwilling combatants in bloody, rapacious war. "She just chooses to be mean." Anon, you know they made the guillotine for people not as bad as her.
By all means, break this horse and plow it, but be conscious of what you're handling there, man!
I took a look and it's I'm not sure if it's exactly my taste. First I had written I didn't liked it judging by the first chapter and what I thought would happen with this Anon here, but the more I read from the second chapter, I wasn't sure if I maybe should give this another chance.
edit: I think I can let the rest of the comment stay at it was before I changed my opinion about the beginning
Well I didn't up or downvoted just to be fair and wanted to know if there are any "Umbra stories" out there, that maybe have a human in her body or something like that.
I don't think I would simply like a genderbending, but if it is combined with memory loss I wouldn't mind it. You know where Sombra only remembers it later what he did and that would maybe cause a plottwist in the story where he now she, would get bad again for a short while.
The only other story I remember from her was Sombra being turned into a Mare and acting like some kind of sexslave for another wicked Mare.
Oh and please don't suggest any stories that got their last updates a year ago and which are probably dead. I also don't need any cancelled once.
I try to find something myself too.
edit: I just took another look, Applejack should probably know better than to antagonize a dangerous enemy further, that could come back and bite her in the ass later.
She had to follow him closely, part of the wards the Princesses levied binding her being to his own with invisible chains.
Not sure if something happened last chapter or not, but does that mean she is forced to listen to Anon and Derpy having sex?, how close does she have to be to him?
I wasn't sure because I only tried to get an impression on what the first chapter was about, since the description I belive made me think that this could be mainly a clopfic and Derpy sounded a bit naive from what I got to read.
Also does someone know Mothpony stories that aren't clopfics? I just haven't seen them yet and if I can get it, I prefer romance stories where the romance actually means a bit more. I mean in some stories it seems rushed and I don't exactly get the feeling the two mean much to each others and others can describe a romance better in my eyes. However I still need to see a more or less normal Mothpony story. I remembered it because I saw one of them mentioned in the list on the right.
“What’d he do to you?!”
"You" Derpy, scared "ME" and caused that to happen.
Still unsure what to think about it, but now more because I'm not sure if I feel as if they treat her fair or not.
I know she seems to be the female version of Sombra that they have in their world and that would normally bring some hate with those that where maybe affected and have to take care of her, but they both seems to be more or less cool with it. For some reason I sometimes start to feel sorry for someone in Umbras position, but maybe I don't take every information in consideration.
I can't say how you meant every scene, I can only say how I understood it.
However parts like where I reacted on Derpy blaiming Umbra entirely for the soup accident don't exactly mean I disliked it. I mean the story would probably look weird if they would all just act correctly and stuff like that. I just hope that such situation come back to bite a character in the ass later if they deserve it if you know what I mean?
Like in another story that started first with wanting to do horrible things to Rainbow Dash, first being mean to her and then together with Celestia wanting to deleete her mind to still being able to use the elements. In such chases I would have loved to see Celestia or Twilight to feel the consequences of their actions at a later time.
I can't say what personality this Anon here has and if I like him, I just can say it can be much worse and that your Anon is still uuuhhhmm okay? I could image that you plan to make him being able to handle Umbra in every situation, getting fazed by nothing or getting completely angry if he can't think of a clever answer to her angry comments.
He reacted good in the situation with applejack and actually exhorted them both instead of only Umbra. You probably don't believe how many situations I have seen in which only Umbra would have gotten the blame in that situation. I remember a Trixie story in which I could see both mother and child being at fault for not seeing each other or what they did in their past. Everyone including her own herd partners blamed her.
Now where was I again?...Yes I guess just to be sure I would see Anon having moments in which he has some problems, maybe get's a bit insecure or whatever and not being an unstoppable womanizer. Like I said, I can't judge his character yet, but this chapter makes him look like hes a bit more closer to those soldier humans or Macho Anons who feel a bit to sure about what they do and everyone else is and does all the mistakes.
Well I hope you don't understand this wrong, sometimes I just try to think of how to describe it in english and talk a bit more than needed which makes it sound wrong once in a while. (as if I meant something else) If something is unclear please ask.
9423388 Yes i give it a chance and I don't do it often this way but I'm going to read the first chapter tomorrow, I just tried to figure out in which direction it wents and founds something I liked in this chapter which made me read this one first.
Not sure if I get the sentences wrong if they get longer or more complicated or if it's something else, but as long as you can understand me I'm happy with it.
edit: I just thought about the fact, that I like it that Anon seems to be strong enough to handle the ponies for once, magical reason or not. I hope however it was really him that would change the believed rule about the dimensions/worlds for once.
I like how they're somehow managing to skirt around the fact that she's a murderer who was bent on enslaving a nation to conquer Equestria with a force of unwilling combatants in bloody, rapacious war. "She just chooses to be mean." Anon, you know they made the guillotine for people not as bad as her.
By all means, break this horse and plow it, but be conscious of what you're handling there, man!
9418032
I know about Rule 63, but what is Rule 64?
God damn Derpy is all sorts of adorable. Also, chubby Sombra 10/10 🍕
9421746
Rule 64 if it exists there's an AU for it.
I took a look and it's I'm not sure if it's exactly my taste. First I had written I didn't liked it judging by the first chapter and what I thought would happen with this Anon here, but the more I read from the second chapter, I wasn't sure if I maybe should give this another chance.
edit: I think I can let the rest of the comment stay at it was before I changed my opinion about the beginning
Well I didn't up or downvoted just to be fair and wanted to know if there are any "Umbra stories" out there, that maybe have a human in her body or something like that.
I don't think I would simply like a genderbending, but if it is combined with memory loss I wouldn't mind it.
You know where Sombra only remembers it later what he did and that would maybe cause a plottwist in the story where he now she, would get bad again for a short while.
The only other story I remember from her was Sombra being turned into a Mare and acting like some kind of sexslave for another wicked Mare.
Oh and please don't suggest any stories that got their last updates a year ago and which are probably dead.
I also don't need any cancelled once.
I try to find something myself too.
edit: I just took another look, Applejack should probably know better than to antagonize a dangerous enemy further, that could come back and bite her in the ass later.
9423279
Your comment is very hard to understand but I thank you for the feedback. Hopefully the rest of the story will be more appealing.
Not sure if something happened last chapter or not, but does that mean she is forced to listen to Anon and Derpy having sex?, how close does she have to be to him?
I wasn't sure because I only tried to get an impression on what the first chapter was about, since the description I belive made me think that this could be mainly a clopfic and Derpy sounded a bit naive from what I got to read.
Also does someone know Mothpony stories that aren't clopfics? I just haven't seen them yet and if I can get it, I prefer romance stories where the romance actually means a bit more. I mean in some stories it seems rushed and I don't exactly get the feeling the two mean much to each others and others can describe a romance better in my eyes.
However I still need to see a more or less normal Mothpony story. I remembered it because I saw one of them mentioned in the list on the right.
"You" Derpy, scared "ME" and caused that to happen.
Still unsure what to think about it, but now more because I'm not sure if I feel as if they treat her fair or not.
I know she seems to be the female version of Sombra that they have in their world and that would normally bring some hate with those that where maybe affected and have to take care of her, but they both seems to be more or less cool with it.
For some reason I sometimes start to feel sorry for someone in Umbras position, but maybe I don't take every information in consideration.
I can't say how you meant every scene, I can only say how I understood it.
However parts like where I reacted on Derpy blaiming Umbra entirely for the soup accident don't exactly mean I disliked it.
I mean the story would probably look weird if they would all just act correctly and stuff like that. I just hope that such situation come back to bite a character in the ass later if they deserve it if you know what I mean?
Like in another story that started first with wanting to do horrible things to Rainbow Dash, first being mean to her and then together with Celestia wanting to deleete her mind to still being able to use the elements. In such chases I would have loved to see Celestia or Twilight to feel the consequences of their actions at a later time.
I can't say what personality this Anon here has and if I like him, I just can say it can be much worse and that your Anon is still uuuhhhmm okay?
I could image that you plan to make him being able to handle Umbra in every situation, getting fazed by nothing or getting completely angry if he can't think of a clever answer to her angry comments.
He reacted good in the situation with applejack and actually exhorted them both instead of only Umbra.
You probably don't believe how many situations I have seen in which only Umbra would have gotten the blame in that situation.
I remember a Trixie story in which I could see both mother and child being at fault for not seeing each other or what they did in their past.
Everyone including her own herd partners blamed her.
Now where was I again?...Yes I guess just to be sure I would see Anon having moments in which he has some problems, maybe get's a bit insecure or whatever and not being an unstoppable womanizer.
Like I said, I can't judge his character yet, but this chapter makes him look like hes a bit more closer to those soldier humans or Macho Anons who feel a bit to sure about what they do and everyone else is and does all the mistakes.
Well I hope you don't understand this wrong, sometimes I just try to think of how to describe it in english and talk a bit more than needed which makes it sound wrong once in a while. (as if I meant something else)
If something is unclear please ask.
9423388
Yes i give it a chance and I don't do it often this way but I'm going to read the first chapter tomorrow, I just tried to figure out in which direction it wents and founds something I liked in this chapter which made me read this one first.
Not sure if I get the sentences wrong if they get longer or more complicated or if it's something else, but as long as you can understand me I'm happy with it.
edit: I just thought about the fact, that I like it that Anon seems to be strong enough to handle the ponies for once, magical reason or not. I hope however it was really him that would change the believed rule about the dimensions/worlds for once.
Always happy to see Umbra fics, good job so far
I really like where this is going! Keep going!
The more I read about this Umbra, I'm further inclined to believe she is a cat rather than a pony.
He's slowly but surely taking all her walls down.
9441429
all ponies are cats.
I just realized how fucking well this is written, holy shit...
I could only dream of writing something this good.
10476969
If I were as sweet as you then it would've been better.
10478204
That's so cute.