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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I believe some more info is required.
Over
I think that you should put the comma before the quotation in "Two things", put a space between forward and the quotation mark, and remove the comma before one. Like so:
There are other mistakes, but since I am not A member of the Grammar SS, It is not my place to point them out, these were just the ones I could see clearly. Other than that, this is a really good fic and chapter. I cant wait to see what Twilight and the Chief do to find The Cartographer.
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Didn't notice any of those mistakes at all. Will correct them as soon as I can. Thanks for pointing them out.
I'm happy that you are enjoying the fanfic a lot. I'm in the middle of writing about the Cartographer, so I will hopefully get out the next chapter by the end of the week.
Interesting take on things, hopefully more will be made known as time goes on. But that clearly tells us that Twilight will be with the UNSC for the long haul.
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Probably, though I will have a bit of a plot point later on for why that would be unlikely.
Also, thanks for noticing some errors. A bit embarrassing that its mostly the same error, but at least someone noticed it. Thank you.
Thank you. I mainly tried to follow the events of the game and the book Halo: the Flood, though I had to change a few details such as the Techs dying at the Observation deck together. I didn't think it would make it more epic, though
Before I jump into this I’m wondering how powerful your interpretation of twilight is going to be. She’s either gonna be like blackjack or godlike. There’s no in between in these fics. And I’m not dissing blackjack she’s the most terrifying mare in the wasteland I would bet on her if she and chief came to blows.
Ponies are just generally even unicorns significantly stronger then us mere humans even Spartans.
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Aside from the fact if they attacked Celestia and Luna will play volley ball with there fleet?
"Now, in the meanwhile, we'll have to deal with whatever this mystery is. And I have the feeling (what ever it is,) we won't find us over a short period of time." I’m not sure about “we won't find us over a short period of time.”
"Now, in the meanwhile, we'll have to deal with whatever this mystery is. And I have the feeling whatever it is; we won't solve this mystery over a short period of time."
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Wow, that last part of what I wrote did not make sense. Thanks for finding it. Will have fixed it now
Nice to see what's happening back on Equis every now and then.
Ok. I'm relieved. But there still is the potential Flood threat.
Discord: I have a very bad feeling about this…