So, I guess Aphid (Lyra) is now acting as Twilight to gain everyone's trust and will reveal herself at the end to tell them the truth about the real Twilight? Other options wouldn't make any sense. Though I guess the mirror was already closed, or something else happened, because years passed in Remnant, and nobody came to get her.
Hmm, nobody came to get Twilight. Sunset thought Celestia would come after her, and never did it, either. These two should totally open their own club for 'Stranded Equestrians'.
9352548 Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the episode
let me guess, The Lost Fable?, well here's my rebuttal
Ozma's question was " How do I destroy Salem?"
The Jinn's answer was "You can't."
from what I got from that answer, what she meant is that Ozma can't destroy Salem, she never said somebody else can't destroy her, in fact I personally think the only way she can be destroyed if she " learns the importance of life and death."
9371925 I really don't know what your comment has to do with the one you related your response to, because mankind and Faunus are really fighting off the Grimm day for day ever since in order to survive. And if you say 'Spoiler Alert', then you can just black out the spoiler by clicking the "Sp" symbol above the text box. That's more effective.
I watched to Volume 6 Chapter 8 included. I just called him Ozpin, cause that is his from the present known incarnation. Though I know where you are coming from. "Ozma" is kind of spoiler, too, for people who didn't start Volume 6 yet.
I gotta say, I'm not really interested in the Equestria B story. It kind of feels like a flimsy way of wrapping up A Canterlot Wedding without Twilight, while demonizing Twilight's friends for being skeptical of her. It's been awhile since I've seen the episode, but I think Aphid is going a little overboard here. I skimmed the last bit, just because it lost my interest. Unless it's going to tie into Remnant in some way, I can't really get invested in it.
I've also noticed a few spots that feel rushed or sloppy.
(Insert the Anthropology song)
Rather then this, you could actually build Aphid's character by having her describe her fascination with Ponies. At the very least, you could hyperlink to the song itself. Don't expect readers to know about material outside of story.
These mares are referred to as the Mane Six
This one is actually from the Prologue, but it stood out to me. Maybe it's just me, but it never sounds right when "Mane Six" is used within the context of a story. Simply calling them the Bearers, or Heroes, or some other title would suffice.
Overall, I'm interested in the concept of Twilight being raised in Remnant. There's plenty of story material between her Faunus features, her magic and/or semblance, her relationship with her new family, and, eventually, her place at Beacon, among other things.
And now the worst part of many Canterlot Wedding stories, the demonizing of Twilight's friends. News flash people they had no reason to believe Twilight wasn't just being overprotective of her brother. She also accused Cadance of being evil with no hard evidence to back up the claim. Now some say "She knew Cadance better than any of them" well so did Celestia and Shining Armor and they weren't convinced so why should Twilight's friend be? Yeah, Cadance turned out to be an impostor but that was just a coincidence Twilight had no clue it was an impostor she had actually come to the ridiculous conclusion that Cadance was evil just because she acted a bit rude.
There was no reason her friends should have believed her because when you get down to it Twilight wasn't actually right about her suspicions.
oh boy this will good
*gets out popcorn*
Nice look at those left behind. I'm assuming the next chapter will involve some old-fashioned wedding crashing?
A nice meanwhile chapter. Do you intend to show what’s going on in Equestria frequently or occasionally until Twilight returns, (if she ever does).
9352831
no offense but wouldn't "overprotective" be more appropriate than "jealous"
I hate when people use that word when it involves the two parter
Why some people may ask, well in my opinion saying she's jealous implies.....disturbing things
So, I guess Aphid (Lyra) is now acting as Twilight to gain everyone's trust and will reveal herself at the end to tell them the truth about the real Twilight? Other options wouldn't make any sense. Though I guess the mirror was already closed, or something else happened, because years passed in Remnant, and nobody came to get her.
Hmm, nobody came to get Twilight. Sunset thought Celestia would come after her, and never did it, either. These two should totally open their own club for 'Stranded Equestrians'.
9352548
Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the episode
let me guess, The Lost Fable?, well here's my rebuttal
Ozma's question was " How do I destroy Salem?"
The Jinn's answer was "You can't."
from what I got from that answer, what she meant is that Ozma can't destroy Salem, she never said somebody else can't destroy her, in fact I personally think the only way she can be destroyed if she " learns the importance of life and death."
ohhh dis gunna be good
9371925
I really don't know what your comment has to do with the one you related your response to, because mankind and Faunus are really fighting off the Grimm day for day ever since in order to survive. And if you say 'Spoiler Alert', then you can just black out the spoiler by clicking the "Sp" symbol above the text box. That's more effective.
And his name is "Ozpin", not "Ozma".
9371932
you haven't seen the latest volume haven't you?
9371932
Ozma was his original before he started reincarnating
good chapter can't wait for next one
9371944
9371948
I watched to Volume 6 Chapter 8 included. I just called him Ozpin, cause that is his from the present known incarnation. Though I know where you are coming from. "Ozma" is kind of spoiler, too, for people who didn't start Volume 6 yet.
9371915
It'll be OK
9371917
Only a couple weeks have passed at most. Twilight was just adopted by the Roses. Sunset, however, has been in Remnant for a few years
I gotta say, I'm not really interested in the Equestria B story. It kind of feels like a flimsy way of wrapping up A Canterlot Wedding without Twilight, while demonizing Twilight's friends for being skeptical of her. It's been awhile since I've seen the episode, but I think Aphid is going a little overboard here. I skimmed the last bit, just because it lost my interest. Unless it's going to tie into Remnant in some way, I can't really get invested in it.
I've also noticed a few spots that feel rushed or sloppy.
Rather then this, you could actually build Aphid's character by having her describe her fascination with Ponies. At the very least, you could hyperlink to the song itself. Don't expect readers to know about material outside of story.
This one is actually from the Prologue, but it stood out to me. Maybe it's just me, but it never sounds right when "Mane Six" is used within the context of a story. Simply calling them the Bearers, or Heroes, or some other title would suffice.
Overall, I'm interested in the concept of Twilight being raised in Remnant. There's plenty of story material between her Faunus features, her magic and/or semblance, her relationship with her new family, and, eventually, her place at Beacon, among other things.
And now the worst part of many Canterlot Wedding stories, the demonizing of Twilight's friends. News flash people they had no reason to believe Twilight wasn't just being overprotective of her brother. She also accused Cadance of being evil with no hard evidence to back up the claim. Now some say "She knew Cadance better than any of them" well so did Celestia and Shining Armor and they weren't convinced so why should Twilight's friend be? Yeah, Cadance turned out to be an impostor but that was just a coincidence Twilight had no clue it was an impostor she had actually come to the ridiculous conclusion that Cadance was evil just because she acted a bit rude.
There was no reason her friends should have believed her because when you get down to it Twilight wasn't actually right about her suspicions.