Never Judge A Book By Its Cover, Part Two
What felt like minutes since Pinkie Pie had left the library, had only been a few seconds when the two of us turned to each other, Twilight giving me an awkward smile while I ended up returning one to her.
As I was about to say something to Twilight, trying to break the tension that was in the room, but she beat me to the punch. Though to be fair, I couldn’t really think of anything to say anyway.
“I’m sorry about my friend for tackling you earlier. She tents to get a bit over excited when she meets new people.” sounding a little embarrassed for her friend.
“Does she do that to everyone or is it just me?” I asked Twilight, as I was kind of curious as to what her answer is.
Twilight moved her hand up to face in the classic thinking pose “She does tend to crash into people or objects a lot, but never when she’s meeting someone new who's moving to town.” she answered
“I’m not moving into town, I’m more like… passing through.” I added to Twilight.
Twilight flashed me another smile “It doesn’t matter to her. She still throws a party for you anyway.”
I shrugged my shoulders, while my thought wandered to how Pinkie Pie could continue to throw parties for every new person she meets, and not be in some sort of debt.
But I pulled my thoughts away from that and started thinking about what I was going to do.
Well, I’m halfway through my plan and to be honest; I’m starting to feel a little bit worried. I managed to get to Twilight’s library with little to no problem and then I only just manage to just get inside. Now I only need to tell Twilight my story and why I need to get home.
“Excuse me, but are you alright?” Twilight asked, breaking my train of thought.
I shook my head, as if I was trying to keep my head clear as I answered Twilight “Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. I’m just a little exhausted from everything that has happened today.”
Twilight just seemed to look at me for a moment, as if she was trying to study me or something. After a minute, she finally stopped looking at me.
“Would you like something to drink?” Twilight asked quickly out of the blue.
“I’m sorry, what?” I answered her random question.
“A drink, would you like to have one?” Twilight asked again.
I might as well grab one since I hadn’t had anything to drink that wasn’t alcohol since earlier on last night when I was at my mates place. Plus as far as I’m aware, they should have the same types of stuff to drink as my universe does, so I should be ok… hopefully. I thought logically, which was based on what I remember from the show.
“Yes, please.” I quickly answered Twilight after I had just finished with my train of thought.
Twilight flashed me another quick smile “Well ok then, just wait here and I will be right back.” She said as she started walking crossed the room to a door that had a small wooden blue sign showing a crude engraving of a cooking pot with steam coming from the top of it.
As Twilight entered from what I can guess was the kitchen, I decided to take a quick walk around the library to see if it had the same interior design as it does from the TV show.
Like in the show, the inside of the library was still somewhat the same as far as I could tell.
The library also had a very roundish feel to it, which I mostly think is due to the lack of big boxy bookcases that you would normally see in a library.
The books like in the show were placed on bookshelves that were build in the wall. The thing that I noticed was different was the where number of bookcases stacked on top of each other.
Standing in front of one of these bookshelves, I counted three stacked on top of each other, with five shelves in each of them and that was only one line of them.
Doing a quickly count around the library I counted ten lines of bookcases, meaning that in this area alone there was thirty bookcases. Of course there was the odd short bookcase that was by itself due to it being above a doorway or under one of the windows.
Come to think of it, I did another quick look around the library, and it was missing a few things, actually, more than a few. Besides the front door, the door to the kitchen, a door that had a sign which said “Bathroom” on it and a doorway that looks like it lead into a smaller sitting/reading area.
This room was missing two sets of stairs, one that should've lead up stairs to Twilight/Spike’s room.
Or do they have separate rooms seeing how they’re human? Hang on; I still haven’t seen Spike yet, so maybe he's still dragon. Gah I'm putting too much thought into this again! I thought in wonder and confusion.
Anyway even if Twilight doesn’t have a bedroom up there or at all, there needs to be a set of stairs to get to the roof.
While the other set of stairs should have lead to the basement, based on that one episode where Twilight has all that science equipment where she was using on Pinkie Pie.
Maybe those missing stairs are in that other room I saw earlier? I thought, as I walked quietly to the room that I thought was a sitting/reading area.
Walking into the other room, it looks kind of same as the main room. I counted five lines of bookcases, but each line only had two bookcases stacked on top of each other, instead of three. But like I thought before, this room was mostly a sitting/reading room. There were more chairs, desks and even a long lounge that was build under a large window looking outside.
However like the main room, there was no sign of stairs here either.
Having walked back out into the main room of the library still puzzled at the fact that both sets of stairs are missing.
While I started thinking about this huge change in the building here, compared to the other main buildings that I had seen so far such as; Rarity’s shop or Sugarcube Corner, which only had small changes on the outside.
Suddenly, I had remembered something; Alternate universes are never the same as its original universe that it’s based on.
I paused for second as that thought passed through my head, I decided to facepalm myself. “God, I can’t believe I just thought that." I said quietly, a little disappointed with myself due to the stupidity of that last thought.
I shook my head to try and get back on track; Anyway as I seen so far, with the small changes in some house/shop designs compare to the designs from the show and the fact that everyone that was a pony is now human. It would have been likely that there would been major changes to well… anything or anyone, the stairs that are missing are a clear sign of this. Hell for all I could know some people I haven’t met yet; like Fluttershy or Rarity could have had their genders swapped. Now thinking about it what would the two of them look like as guys, hell what would the mane six look like as guys?
Just as I got my train of thought going on the matter of what else could have changed and what the mane six look like as guys, I felt something tap my shoulder.
When I turned around to see who was tapped my shoulder, all I saw was a glass cup floating in mid air with an all too familiar magenta glow around it, filled with some type of drink.
I stared at the floating drinking glass in disbelief as this was my first time seeing magic since I had been here. I tried my best to keep calm while looking at the cup, for as much as I wanted to freak out in a fanboy sort of way and find Twilight and ask her about how magic worked here.
But the urge to freak out was hard to control seeing how I’m a big fan of magic. I mean most of the books I read have something to do with magic in one way or another. Hell, half of my video games have in some way something to do with either magic or super powers. But I needed to keep myself under control, so I can get through this without any more problems.
But back to present, I looked beyond the glass cup and noticed Twilight, who stood in the doorway of the kitchen with her right hand glowing the same magenta glow while in her left hand holding another glass cup which must've been her own drink.
As much as I wanted to reach out and grab that floating cup, I was well… scared. Not of the glass cup or whatever was in it, but of the magical aura that was surrounding it.
Since I knew that magic doesn’t exist in my universe, I didn’t know how any type of magic here in this universe would react to me if my skin touched it. For all I could know, I could have some sort of a negative reaction to it, such as getting sick or even die from it.
“You know, you can grab the cup, it’s not going to bite or anything” Twilight said to me in a reassuring tone.
Easier for you to say. was all I could think of, as I started slowly reaching for the floating glass cup.
However as my fingers approached the glass cup, I stopped myself. My fingers were close to the hazy aura that was surrounding the glass cup, almost touching it.
It was then that I started feel that same tingling sensation that I felt earlier outside of the library, as my fingers were about to touch the aura.
I closed my eyes out of fear for what was going to happen once my fingers pierced the magical aura that was holding the cup. But as my fingers penetrated the aura, I couldn’t help but to slightly open one of my eyes to see what happened.
But the fear within me got the better of me as I closed my eyes again as my fingers touched the magical aura.
I slowly opened my eyes, and saw that the tips of my fingers were inside of the magical aura but not touching the glass cup. Having a quick look at my body, I let out a sigh of relief.
Well, there’s nothing wrong with me as far as I can tell and I’m not dead, so that’s a plus. I thought with some of the weight off of my shoulders.
With that behind me, I processed to grab the floating glass cup.
However, as my hand was about to grab the cup. The tingling sensation in my hand turned into a bad case of pins and needles, and the aura that was holding the cup afloat disappeared, causing the cup to fall.
But before the cup fell more than a few centimeters, I quickly managed to grab the cup with my other hand, and only spilled a bit of the drink.
Standing in a weird pose due to catching the cup, I looked over at Twilight who looked a little confused at what just happen and to be honest, I was in the same boat.
“That should not have happened.” Twilight announced in a puzzled sort of tone, as she started walking towards me, with her drink still in hand.
With Twilight walking towards me, I decide to stand back up straight and ask the most obvious follow up question in the history of obvious questions.
“What shouldn’t have happened?” I asked, maybe knowing what Twilight was talking about, if she was referring to my cup falling.
Twilight just looked at me for second before she quickly looked down at her right hand, which she was using for magic just now and then looked back up at me.
“It’s probably nothing to worry about.” Twilight answered with a shrug.
Let’s hope so. I thought, seeing how it is kind of unusual for Twilight to leave something unexplained when it’s brought up.
With the glass cup now in my hand, I decided to have a good look at the liquid, seeing how I couldn’t tell what it was due to the magical aura that was surrounding it and was discoloring the liquid.
It looked like water.
I took a small slip of it.
It tasted like water.
“Yeah, this is water.” I quietly concluded, before I started to finish off the drink.
“Feel better?” Twilight asked as she took a small slip from her glass.
“Yes, thank you.” I answered.
“So, you mind telling me what brought you here to my library?” asked Twilight.
I stood there for a minute, trying to think of what to do now. There’s no point in using my Seeker cover story now since I’m inside, plus with Pinkie Pie gone and from what I can guess that Spike isn’t here either, otherwise he would of came out from where he was hiding or stopped what he was doing , to see what was going on earlier.
I might as well just come clean and tell Twilight what I needed from her.
“Uh… look before I tell you why I’m here, do you have a place where we can talk in private?” I asked Twilight
Twilight seemed confused by my request.
“Why do we a place to talk in private for, why can’t we just talk in here?”
I let out a sigh, shook my head and answered her question. “The reason I’m here is very… complicated and yet you’re the only person that I can think of that can help me with my problem that’s close by.”
Now it was Twilight’s turn to sigh. “But that still doesn’t tell me why do we need to speak somewhere in private.”
“Look, Twilight –“
“How do you know my name?” Twilight interrupted, sounding a little nervous that I knew her name.
“The other girl… Pinkie Pie was it? Said your name a few times while she was here and before you ask how I know her name, you did the exact same thing.” I answered, luckily for me that I didn’t say Twilight’s last name as well, otherwise she would have raised more questions.
Looking at Twilight, she seems to be deep thought and I started wondering if I look like that when I do that.
I waited for a minute or two, and I got a bit impatient. I walked over to Twilight and CLICKED my fingers in front of her face, and broke her out of her daydreaming.
Twilight shook her head to wake herself up. “Sorry about that, it tends to happen a lot.”
“So as I was explaining before you interrupted me, the reason I wish to speak in private is due to the nature of what I need to talk to you about and if anyone should overhear it and lets anyone else know, it might cause panic. So yeah, that’s why.” I finished explaining to Twilight.
Twilight just looked at me for moment before she spoke again “You're serious aren’t you?”
“Does it look like I’m joking to you?” I asked her, giving her a deadpan look.
Twilight let out another sigh. “Alright fine, follow me”
Following Twilight, she stopped in front of one of the bookcases close to the front door.
Standing on her tippy toes, Twilight just managed to reach for the gap between the bookcases on the floor and the one above it and started feeling around for something.
Just then I realize what she was doing and almost hit myself for not thinking of this sooner.
It makes so much sense why this library has so many bookcases compare to it TV show counterpart. The stairs are not missing; they must be hidden behind the bookcase and for all I could know, there could be more rooms hidden behind them I thought
Hearing a loud CLICK, it seems that Twilight have found the button that open the hidden door. I always prefer a hidden button over the fake book or that one book that is on the pressure plate to open the door.
The whole bookcase swing inwards, leaving the other two bookcases that was stacked on top of it, still in their place.
Twilight walked through the door and into the room with me following in behind her.
Once the both of us entered this small hidden room, Twilight closed the door, sat down at a desk and turned around on her rotatable chair to face me.
The room I am standing in, from what I can guess with its one desk with chair and only a few small bookcases, no more than five. This must be Twilight’s private study.
“Alright, we're somewhere private and no one'll be able to hear us while this door is closed. So are you going to explain what’s going on?” Twilight asked, keeping herself calm.
I took a deep breath and let it out, to try and keep myself calm. Ok Vincent, remember if this doesn’t work, you got plan B, I remained myself.
“Right but before I start. I must ask that you hold all questions, even if you really want to ask them. Please just wait until I’m finished explaining everything, ok?” I asked Twilight, waiting to see if she would agree.
Twilight gave me a nod.
With this, I started walking around the study to figure out what to start off with “Ok, where do I start?” I asked myself.
“How about you start with your name and maybe from there, why you came here? “ Twilight chimed in.
I turned back around to face Twilight “Ok, we can start there, I guess” I said as I rubbed my face with one of my hands “My name is Vincent. Vincent Pleasant."
“Vincent Pleasant." Twilight said my name a few more times in a quietly, before saying “That’s quite an odd name.”
I frowned at Twilight, which I think at that moment she relies what she just said.
“I didn’t mean it like that…. It’s just an unusual name that’s all.” Twilight blurted out, embarrassed by what she said just now.
“Well, thank you for pointing that out Twilight, it’s not enough that I know that my name is unusual here, care to point anything else out that you find unusual to you?!” I asked her with a hint of anger in my voice, before I realized what I just had said to Twilight.
I just snapped at Twilight for no real reason.
While this is not the first time I let my anger gets the better of me. Normally I try and keep myself calm and be in a good mood, even though I don’t look it or show it most of the time.
However due to my job as a video games character artist, stress is a normal part of the job. Normally a little stress I can handle which doesn’t affect me that much. But when I’m under a lot of stress and I mean enough to drown in, well… people should just keep their distance until I'm relieved of the source of the stress or until I calm down.
Usually if I do snap at someone for whatever reason, within a day or two I end up feeling guilty for what I might've said and apologize to them, plus try and do them a favor of some sort. While at work, this has only happened a few times and when I do apologize to them, they kind of understand about it because they might been under it as well.
But being here in this universe is causing me to become more stressed by the minute. Plus it doesn’t help that I don’t know what the time zones between our two universes are, for all I could know; a day in this universe could equal week back in mine or even worse. I shook my head trying to not think about it.
"Twilight, look I'm sorry, it just that… I been under a lot of stress at the moment and if you were in my shoes, you just might understand where I’m coming from” I explained to her.
Twilight just looked at me for minute before I started talking again “Maybe I should start explaining my situation to you."
Over the next ten minutes or so, I explained to Twilight about how I’m from another universe, how it doesn’t have magic and that people can’t fly without machines to aid us in doing so. With that main bit of information out of the way, I started telling her how I was in my city apartment sleeping on my lounge then somehow I woke up in an apple orchard and then once I got into town, I got lost trying to find this place until I had to ask for directions and that the reason I’m here is to ask her if she can send me back home to my universe.
While telling this to Twilight, I decided to leave out that I already ran into Applejack, Rainbow Dash and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Which I thought was a good idea at the time.
After I finished explaining my story to Twilight, she just sat there looking at me. I don’t know what she was thinking about but she got up from her chair and started walking around me.
“Ok, my first question is, why are you wearing all of that black clothing?” she asked as she continued circling me.
“Er… why ask that? Out of all the possible questions for you ask first, you went with 'what up with my fashion sense?'” I was kind of surprised she decided to ask that first.
“Well I’m just curious, seeing how it’s rare seeing someone to wear so much black unless it’s for a formal occasion. But as I said I’m just curious that’s all” Twilight finished quickly.
I let out another sigh and answered “Look, I just like the color black, OK. I don’t really like wear any bright colors because it just doesn’t look right on me and the only time I would wear something like that, is if it has something funny on it. And also just to point out something, where I’m from wearing a lot of black or even just one color is pretty common thing”
After I finished, Twilight stopped circling me and stood back in front of me, crossing her arms.
“So is there anything else that you want to know or need to ask?” I asked Twilight, fully knowing that her questioning is not over yet.
Twilight just looked at for moment before answering “No, I don’t need to ask anything else."
I was confused by Twilight’s answer; I had just finished telling her that I’m from another universe and she has no other questions to ask from me. Seriously I thought that she would be bombarding me with questions until the cows came home.
“Is something the matter?” Twilight asked me sounding puzzled as to why I gone all silent all the sudden.
“I had just told you that I’m from another universe and the only question you had been about my choice of clothing. Don’t you have anything else to ask?” I asked sounding a little worry, yet I don’t why.
Twilight unfolded her arms and started moving back to her chair and sat back down.
“No, I don’t”
Something is wrong here, I thought starting to feel the worry that I felt earlier starting to build up more and starting to move closer to panic, she is not telling me something but what, then it clicked.
“You don’t believe my story do you?” I asked Twilight
“Where do I even start? First of all, your story makes no sense because if what you say is true about your universe and the fact that the people from there can’t use magic. So how did you even get here? Therefore, I find it very hard to believe that you came from another universe” Twilight answered back.
“But as I told you, I don’t know how I got to your universe. For all I could know, someone might have summoned me here with magic?”
Twilight let out a little giggle before she answered back “That’s not even possible. There are no such things as summoning spells. Which by the way if there was a spell that could do that it would require a large amount of magic to perform, especially to summon beings from another universe.”
“Ok, but that doesn’t leave out the possibility that someone screwed up some type of spell. Maybe that’s how I got here." I told Twilight, as I started to feel the stress from earlier coming back, now adding to my growing list of worries.
Twilight paused before she answered me “True, but with what you said on where you woke up, I don’t think your theory holds water, otherwise you would have ended up in the general area where that accident happen.” she plainly stated.
Damn it, I’m running out of theories on how I might have got here I thought, as it now not helping me with my stress levels and feeling small amounts of sweat on my forehead.
“Are you alright, you’re starting to look a bit pale” Twilight asked me, sounding a little concerned.
I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my hand, trying to think of what to do now.
Ok, for now forget how I got here. Maybe I should keep try continuing to convince Twilight that I’m another universe, but how am I going to do that without going straight to plan B, I thought, only for it to hit me. My wallet!
I dug through my pants pocket to grab my wallet; however I was having some difficulty getting it out. It was then as I was get my wallet out, that Twilight gave me a confused look at what I was doing before she finally spoke up and asked “Errr… what are you doing?”
Still having some difficulty getting it out, due to how thick my wallet is. I finally manage to get it out “Getting you some proof that I’m from another universe.” I answered back, as I opened up my wallet and started pulling out anything that had my full name on it.
“I may not have an explanation to explain how I got here, but I have some proof that I’m from another universe!” I told Twilight, pushing the cards with my full name on it into her hands.
With my ID cards in Twilight’s hands, she quickly pulled down her glasses and has a look at them.
I watched as Twilight took each of my ID cards and gave a thorough look, before moving on to the next one. After a few minutes, Twilight finished looking at all of the forms of ID I gave her. She took off her glasses and placed them on the desk behind her, before she turned back to me.
“This still doesn’t help proving that you’re from another universe. Twilight said calmly.
“How don’t these pieces of ID, which by the way have my full name on them, doesn’t prove that I’m from another universe?” I asked her, waiting to see what sort of excuse she comes up with.
“These are clearly forgeries” Twilight answered, while slowly waving the cards around.
Ok, I didn’t see that one coming I thought before I realize what she just said “Wait a second, are you saying that you have fake ID’s here… in this universe?” still not believing what I just heard.
“Well, I never seen one before, but I know that they exist.” Twilight answered.
This whole alternate universe dilemma is starting to go deeper than what I first thought. I’m ok with the fact that they might have the same level of technology as my universe, but when I start finding out stuff such as fake ID’s exist here, I’m starting to have a bad feeling on what else is here as well. For all I could know, they might have drugs, crime or other things that should not belong here in this universe.
But I found a hole in Twilight fake ID theory.
“Ok Twilight, if getting a fake ID is the same here as it is in my universe. Then tell me, where I got the money from to pay for a bunch of ID’s, when all I have is the money from my own universe!” I asked her, while showing her a ten dollar note and a few small silver and gold coins.
From the look on Twilight’s face, she seems to be shocked by this turn of events. She got up from her chair and walk over to look at the money I had in my hand. She slow examined the coins first, examining their different sizes and each of their engravings before moving on to having a look at the ten dollar note, examining the image and the different shades of blue that were on it.
I have her now, as there is no way she can come up with something to counter these pieces of proof I thought as I slowly smiled as Twilight was still examining the ten dollar note.
“So, do you believe me now?” I asked Twilight with a bit of snugness in my voice.
Twilight handed the ten dollar note back to me, as I was about to put it along with the coins back into my wallet.
“No, I still don’t." Twilight answered.
“Oh come on!” I accidentally shouted “What possible reason do you have to still not believe me? I mean my theory on how I might have gotten here to this universe can be questionable and of course, here I thought that by showing my ID’s to you would work, but I didn’t take into account that your universe would have fake ID’s."
“But this." I pointed to the money still in my hands “Doesn’t this at least spark a few questions or prove that I’m from another universe?” I asked Twilight.
“It does raise some questions and while the currency looks foreign. All this proves is that you’re not from this country." Twilight finished.
I put both of my hands on face and pulled them down, stretching my face.
“But I’m not from another country. I’m from another universe! Which are two completely different things!” I almost shouted at her. “Plus, what proof do you have that my money is from another country? Do you have a book somewhere here, that has the exact same picture of the money I just show you, because if you do, how about you go and grab it and show it to me." I demanded.
“I can’t!”
“And why not?” I asked
“Because…" Twilight was starting to look nervous now.
“Well, come on now spit it out.” I ask, as my inpatients got the better of me for at that moment.
“Because I believe your money is fake as well!” Twilight shouted.
I just stood there for a moment in complete shock, before I started laughing in her face before I threw my head back continuing to laugh at her.
Twilight just gave me a glare before asking in an irritated tone “What so funny?”
I finally stop laughing and just looked at her “You honestly think that my money is fake? Really? You know what, humor me."
Twilight just looked at me blankly “What?” she asked
“I said humor me, as in tell me why you think that my money is fake” I answered back
“Fine” Twilight said as if she was accepting my challenge “Firstly, I never seen this type of currency before in any book I have read. So all that leaves me to think about that this money is fake and used to swindle people out of real money by trading them the fake money."
Now it was my turn to just stare at blankly, They have con men here too? What the hell don’t they have here? I thought.
“This would also explain why you have so many fake ID’s. So that way you can try and convince people that you are from another universe, which would link perfectly with the fake money you have."
I just rolled my eyes at her “You can’t be serious, who in their right mind would fall for something so stupid” I asked her
“If the lie was convincing enough, anyone could've” Twilight answered back
This was getting me nowhere, this has being going on for fifteen minutes and as much as I want to continue down this path of pointlessness, I need to wrap this up and get my plan back on course.
Maybe I should of gone with plan B first and just wing it from there, that way I could've avoid all of this crap. Though then again, it would be the whole looking for Pinkie Pie problem again from earlier, where I ask for help but I get stuck with someone who wants to do their own thing first before I get the help I need.
Realizing that I have zone out and have not paying attention to Twilight, who has been talking all of this time.
“—and I still can’t believe, that these people, who could use their special talents for something good, but instead, they use them to commit these types of acts and for what purpose?” Twilight finished, as I only caught on to the last bit of her rant.
“Wait a second, what did you just say?” I asked her, hoping I heard what I thought I heard.
“I said, that people like you could have put their talents to better use instead of----“Twilight started saying, before I interrupt her.
I let out a groan of frustration at Twilight, but mostly at myself “God, why didn’t I think of this sooner!? Cutie marks!”
“What about them?” Twilight ask in a confused tone.
“Something I should have shown you from the start!” I told her, as I took off my trench coat and, placed it nearby on top of one of the short bookcases that were around room.
Remembering what I saw earlier with Rainbow Dash as to where ones Cutie mark would be and hoping that it wasn’t a tattoo of some sort. As I proceeded to unzipped my jacket, slide out my left arm and lift the left side of my shirt sleeve of my Roosterteeth shirt which had -It's a legitimate strategy- written on it, along with an image of tent with a sniper rifle poking out from its opening.
Once I had my shirt sleeve up and over my shoulder, I then turned my expose upper arm towards Twilight hoping that this would work. “As you can plainly see, I have no Cutie Mark of any sort here." while thinking Please don’t tell me that their Cutie marks are on their asses, cause I don’t want to show her my ass.
Twilight quickly picked up her glasses from her desk and put them on, as she move towards me wanting to take a closer look at the upper half of my arm.
“So Twilight, got anything to say about this?” I asked her, as she grabs my arm. Not hard but it wasn’t gentle either.
“Well, for a person who keeps on saying that he is from another universe, you seem to know where our Cutie Marks are located on the body.” Twilight answered back, as she slide her fingers over my upper arm.
“I… I caught a glimpse of a few of them as I was walking through the town earlier while trying to find this place.” which was sort of true seeing how I only seen one and it was from the girl who is the most likely to get a tattoo of her Cutie mark somewhere on her body. Still it was only a guess, but it was one hell of a guess.
“I guess that makes sense, but how did you know that they were called Cutie Marks then?” she asked me, making me realise what I said.
“I… uh” I mumbled, Oh crap!
“You know what, I don’t want to know, how you know.” Twilight ended up telling me, as she pulls her finger nail down from my shoulder to my elbow, causing me to jump back due to it happening all the sudden.
“What the hell, are you doing?!” I yelled at her, at what she had just done, while it didn’t hurt that much but a bit of warring could have been nice.
“I was trying to see if there was anything covering your Cutie mark!” she yelled back but from the looks of it, Twilight seemed to realize that she had just yelled at me and quickly calmed herself down.
Seeing that Twilight has calmed down from her little outburst, I had a quick look at the long red mark on my arm “See, nothing there” gesturing with my other hand.
“That doesn’t mean that it’s not hidden by magic!” She quickly said back to me, as she starts moving towards me with her right hand glowing with magical energy, but I quickly stretched out my arm to try and keep her back.
“Just wait a second, before you start probing me with your magic, I just got to ask something; are you just going to see if there is a Cutie mark on my arm and nothing else, right?” I asked in a questioning tone, I felt a little worried that Twilight might try something, maybe try and read my mind or sort through my memories to find out more info on me.
Come to think of it, why didn't I just let her do that?
Just let her have a look through my recent memories, I mean there has to be spell for that sort of thing right? As that would solve everything, but then again remembering my knowledge of comic book heroes and or villains who can read minds. Most of them would often destroy the person mind as they are trying to read it or drive further in to look at their memories.
I better enforce the whole; don’t read my mind or look at my memories point to Twilight, just in case I thought while waiting for Twilight to agree to what I asked.
Twilight tried moving toward me again, but I took one long step back with my arm still out in front of me, as if it was going to protect me from her even though I knew that she could used her magic to forced me to remain still while she examined my arm.
Twilight let out sigh of annoyance at what I was doing, before she finally agreed “Ok, fine.”
I slowly lowered my arm, letting her to come forward again up to my arm that she was holding before.
Seeing Twilight right hand glowing with magical energy again, she starts moving it closer to the skin on my upper arm.
As her hand made contact with my arm, I felt the same sensation of pins and needles going through my arm just like last time when a magic aura came into contact with my skin. While I was distracted by this, Twilight started moving her hand down from my shoulder, stopping at just above my elbow before she starts moving back up to my shoulder.
Twilight does this a few times, before she stops and lets out a growl of annoyance.
I looked down at my arm and saw that nothing has changed, luckily.
“Problem Twilight?” I asked her, not trying very hard to keep the snugness out of my voice, knowing that I have finally got her cornered.
Twilight let out a deep breath “No, there is no problem” she tried saying in a calm voice but was failing.
“Well then, that settles it then, doesn’t it?” I asked her, showing her a half smile.
“Settles what?” Twilight asked in a confused tone.
“This argument we being having all afternoon and since I don’t have a Cutie Mark on my arm, even after your little magic test, this proves that I’m from another universe, clear and simple.” I told her.
“No it doesn’t, there has to be a logical explanation for this!” Twilight quickly rebutted in a shocked tone. “Such as, that someone might put a high level cloak spell on your Cutie Mark to hide it for some reason or maybe you just haven’t found special talent yet." she concluded.
Now it was my turn to let a growl of annoyance, This is starting to get on my fuckin nerves! I thought in anger, taking a lot of self control to not say it out a loud. “You know what, I’m done!” I just simply said to her, while I waved my hands out in front of me.
Twilight just looked at me for a moment before asking “Done? Done with what?”
“This whole trying to convince you that I’m from another universe, all its doing is wasting my time. Time that I don’t have by the way." I told her, with anger creeping back into my voice.
“I mean, I knew who I was dealing with and I didn’t mind that I might have to explain a few things to you, but this is too much!” I continued. “You know what I should have done in the first place? I should have gone to Princess Celestia instead, for the only reason I came to you for help, was because you were close by." I finally finished, before I open the door leading out to the main room of the library and quickly started walking towards the front door, however, Twilight called out to me.
“Wait a minute, where do you think you’re going?!” as she quickly ran out of the study after me.
“To try and catch the next train so I can see Celestia, 'cause if you’re not going to help me, I’m going to get her to.” I told her, as I was about to open the front door.
“I thought you said that you didn’t have any money on you?” Twilight asked
“I don’t, that why I going to sneak myself onto the train. Do you have a problem with that?” I asked, still annoyed that I’m being delayed.
“Yes I do, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here.”
“And what is your point?”
“My point is that if you don’t have any money, wouldn’t it be easier for you to fly rather than trying to sneak aboard a train and get caught?” Twilight asked me.
Confused by what Twilight had just said, a few thoughts ran through my head at what the hell she was talking about. Wasn’t she listening to me when I had told her that no one from my universe could fly without machines or that we can’t use magic. Maybe she is trying to be funny or something.
Let out a chuckle at Twilight “Really funny Twilight, not your best attempt at humor, but it was a good attempt nonetheless. Now if you excuse me, I’m going." I said to her, as I tried opening the door.
However, the door was halfway open only to have something slam it shut again, it was then that I notice that the door had a magenta glow around it. I turned around to face Twilight when I saw that one of her hands was glowing again.
“I’m not attempting to be funny here, as this is one of the main reasons why I didn’t believe your story, because you have a set of wings!” Twilight finished, as she quickly walks over towards me and stuck out her arm over my right shoulder, immediately sent a powerful icy chill run down my spine along with a yell of pure terror, causing me to fall to my knees on the hard wooden floor.
With my arms now wrapped around chest as I tried to stop shivering, while at the same time tried to figure out what just happened to me, Or what Twilight did to me I thought worriedly.
I looked up at Twilight, who just looked back down at me, shocked at what just happen in front of her.
“What the hell did you just do to me?” I whispered to her, just loud enough for her to hear and with fear creeping into my voice.
Twilight just looked over me, her face now confused. “That shouldn’t have happened... you shouldn’t have felt anything!”
“I don’t care about ‘what shouldn’t have happen’, what I want to know is, WHAT THE HELL, YOU DID TO ME!” I shouted the last part at her, replacing the fear from earlier with rage while giving her a hard glare.
Twilight was scared now as it clearly showed in her body movement, as she started slowly backing away from me. I slowly got to my feet, using the door as a form of support as I still felt the effects of whatever just happened.
I finally stood up straight, and started slowly moving towards Twilight.
“I just want to know, what you did to me!” I asked her with anger still in my voice, as she finally backed into one of the many tables that were scattered about the room.
“ANSWER ME!” I yelled at her.
“All I did was put my hand through your wing, you should have only felt, at most, pins and needles or nothing at all, I swear!” Twilight pleaded.
“Don’t lie to me! What I felt was as if someone injected ice into my veins, you used your magic against me, WHY!” I yelled at Twilight again, her eyes went wide with shock as I told her this.
“I don’t understand what is going on, I never heard of this happening before and I didn’t use my magic on you!” Twilight said frantically.
Not sure if I should believe her or not, but I decided to not move any further forward in case she tried to use magic against me again. As I stopped and took a second take a few deep breaths before I started talking again, I notice something in the corner on my left eye.
I was not sure with what it was, but it looked like a grayish blob of some sort. I tried swatting it away my left hand as if it was a fly, however as my hand touched whatever the grayish blob was, the icy chill that I felt earlier returned, as it run back down my spine causing me to yelp in terror again and fall back down on my knees.
Twilight just looked at me while this was going on, she didn’t seem to know whether or not to help me.
I started to turn my head around to my left to see what the grayish blob was; only to find that the more I turned, the less I could see of what it was.
I grew more concerned as I couldn’t see what that blob was behind me, I slowly managed to get up back off the ground again. Still shaking a little after feeling that second cold wave hitting me, I started trying to piece together my thoughts; however after getting hit by the cold wave twice, it became difficult to do so.
The only thought I had managed to get a hold of was, Mirror… I need a goddamn mirror.
Remembering that I saw a sign that said bathroom earlier in here, I started moving very slowly towards it, while passing Twilight as she just looked on at where I was going.
It took longer than I thought to get to the bathroom door due to me still shaking from the cold.
After opening the door, well actually that was a lie; it was more like falling though it while catching myself on the bathroom sink and slowly pulling myself up so I was standing up straight.
I wanted to just lift my head up, look into that mirror, see that nothing was wrong and just leave it up to my overactive imagination from the stress from today.
But that didn’t happen.
Instead when I looked into that mirror, I saw the grayish blob.
Or rather two grayish blobs that were sticking out of my back.
End of part two...
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i liked it. it's interesting
Good chapter, well done. If he were to tell Twi about how her world is a fictional story to him and use examples of their lives and adventures, maybe then she will had some belief in his story.
1820317
Yeah, that was Plan B
reviewing your discription: "Well the whole discription is rubbish. I don't even know what the story is about and only was read a passage from a chapter (In my opinion) frankly I don't see how anyone would want to read this just by the discription alone." (PM me if you want me to help you change)
now I'm going to read the first chapter. I'll be back in a bit.
oh you can remove all the text stuff at the top and add it to the authors note at the bottom of the chapter screen.
also I kind of find it annoying to see that text up at the top of the chapter. it feels liike you're whoring for attention
meh just finished chapter....not sure what to think.
did Twilight give him ears?
1825365
Ears? Are you talking about the grayish blobs?
1826757
yes. not sure what to make of them.
1828078
It was suppose to hint at that he has wings, since Twilight was pointing that out to him earlier, but he didn't believe it. But there will be more about how wings and magic work in that universe in the next chapter.
1149618 Looks at avatar. Pulls out 12-gauge pump shotgun *chick-chick* "Hasta la vista, baby"
Spabble of WRITE here, giving the requested review.
Plot:
Frankly, the premise of your story—"brony is sent to Equestria for an unexplained reason"—is unoriginal. It's been done a million times already, and by itself it's boring. I was hoping that with the humanization would come some interesting human-related plot twist that would counteract the disappointing premise, but that let me down as well.
I assume that the way the main character jumped clean over a five-foot-tall fence in Chapter 1 was by unconsciously using his wings, but why did he, afterwards, not spare even a passing thought of how he could have made the jump? It's not exactly something you see every day, as he made clear before the jump.
Why didn't the tourist center have any town maps? There needs to be a reason.
This is the exact same issue as above. You even pointed it out for yourself; why hadn't he noticed earlier that there were people flying around?
There's no reason for someone to tell him he should use his phone. You can't use phones to locate houses. And if you can, then the reverse issue crops up later: When he's on the roof of a building and the CMC are interrogating him, why wouldn't they just say he could "use his phone"?
Why do they want to show him around, and why does he accept so readily? The CMC don't normally escort newcomers around town, and he just showed that he was in a hurry to get to Twilight's.
Why does she have a room behind a bookcase? She doesn't have any reason for secrecy.
And wings? How did he not notice these earlier?
Characters:
The entire Rainbow Dash scene is OOC (Out Of Character). She would not have given condolences and offered to help him to a bench. She would just quickly apologize and fly away. She would not apologize profusely and blush and act all embarrassed. If you intended for her to act OOC, draw attention to it and make the narrator wonder why she's acting weird, and make sure to explain later in the story why she's being OOC. To make things worse, right now it just feels like Rainbow Dash fell inexplicably in love with the narrator—and a plot centered around "ponies falling inexplicably in love with the main character" is a no-no.
Since when does saying this one specific phrase trigger Pinkie to pop up?
Completely unwarranted fanservice is bad, bad, bad. And please let this not be the prime reason you humanized them.
This just doesn't make sense. There's no reason to believe that magic would have adverse effects on him.
I feel the conversation with Twilight is mostly in character. Her skepticism in the argument was nice. Before the argument, though, the characterization is a bit rocky.
All she did was say his name was unusual. There's no reason for her to get sad.
And there's no reason for Vincent to get all disgusted with himself. All he did was snap at Twilight.
Conclusion:
The main issue in this story is that you're forcing the plot, characters, and scenes to follow the path you want. This is a common pitfall for novice writers. My best advice for combating this is simply to read over your chapters after writing them to make sure that every event occurs for a good reason.
— Spabble, WRITE's Supreme Copy Editor
i.imgur.com/ggjNG.png
1846834
This is mostly a reply to your review, which I'm thankful for by the way.
Firstly, the "brony is sent to Equestria for an unexplained reason" is unoriginal comment.
It was either that or one of these:
-He dies and ends up in the MLP humanized universe.
-Twilight screws up a spell, which brings him there. If you wanted to, you could say that "It wasn't her magics fault, there was a screw up with the translation of this old and dusty spell book with the ingredients"
-Plus I didn't want to use, "Oh either one of the royal sisters or Discord summon me here for some reason"
-or even the classical "Hey, I should stuff around with this magical macguffin just to see what happens, since I have nothing else better to do"
I preferred to used the idea that, he doesn't know how he got to that universe, due to what you can do with the plot as shown in Part two of Chapter three, where Vincent keeps on trying to figure off how he got there when, he is talking to Twilight.
With your comment on the plot:
That is main due to the pacing of the story, it will pick up soon and there is going to be twist as well.
Ok, now the stuff you mainly picked out of the chapters so far, which I have now changed:
- Vincent now thinks on how he jumped over the five foot fence, even having a few ideas on how might have done it, until his train of thought is interrupted by Applejack.
- Why the tourist center didn't have town maps: its stupid but, a large group of tourists took all of the town maps before he got there.
- Why Vincent didn't notice people flying around earlier, because few are [Lets just call them pegasi for now] living in town and that they only come here to either work or visit.
- The whole "Not asking for directions", this has been change to: due to the town being bigger then what he thought and that he can't tell apart who lives in town and who is just visiting.
- Why the CMC show Vincent around town: to get their tourist guide cutie marks and I cut out the part where Vincent is in a hurry.
- The hidden room behind the bookcase, I didn't add, change or remove anything here.
Mostly just think about it, in the show, [If anyone actually use the library and not just the mane six] anyone could go anywhere they please. So I thought that the hidden rooms was a good idea, by having Twilight's study, access to the stairs to her and Spike's rooms and the roof, as well as the stairs to basement and just two spare rooms, hidden behind the bookcases. There is going to be more about it in the next chapter.
- The entire Rainbow Dash scene, yes she was OOC in that scene, I didn't mean for that to happen, so I just cut out everything after she helped Vincent up and change a few things from there, now she gets a call from Applejack and tells her the reason she got held up was because Vincent crushed into her and leaves to go to Applejack's. Read just that bit and given me your opinion?
- The whole Pinkie Pie popping up out the blue idea, has now being changed to:
- Vincent accidentally falling into Pinkie Pie breasts, this was just a joke I thought it was funny, I was watching Robin Hood men in tights at the time when I added this. Also this isn't the prime reason I humanized them.
- The magic cup bit, where Vincent is scared to grab it. How do we know that magic won't affect him, so far in the HiE stories, magic either does one of four things:
A] nothing at all, meaning magic can't do anything against humans
B] have some resistance against magic to the point where it still does something to them but not the full effect.
C] it kills them
or D] full effect, if Twilight was OOC and want to set Vincent on fire, she will set him on fire with no problem.
Thanks for what you said about Twilight being mostly in character during the argument with Vincent and with the two bits you pointed out before that part: with Twilight little bit being sad has being taking out and Vincent part where he felt disgusted with himself has being cut down to:
And that's it, I thought it was a good idea to let you know that because of your review that I fixed up what you said.
What the bloody hell just happen ?
1911672
I don't know, you tell me?
1911682 I dont know mate ... A bit counfusing toward the end ..
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: From My World To Theirs
Grammar score: 5 (Irregular tense of verbs, missing periods, and missing words were among the most common mistakes)
Pros (list three pros)
Majority of characters felt in character.
Story is not too predictable
Vincent/Seeker is a likeable fellow
Cons (list three cons)
Story pace was rather slow
Some characters felt OOC
dialogue felt unnatural at times.
Notes Section (how you can improve your fic, at the very least an elaboration of Pros and Cons section)
My thoughts per chapter:
Chapter 1: Alright, we meet the main character, and we learn a bit about him before his adventure starts. That's good, Make me care about Vincent. I also thought I caught a little bit of foreshadowing with the freak accident involving the TV show. However, once Vincent is in Ponyville the dialogue felt off when he met Applejack. First Applejack's catches him trespassing (while he's dressed in all black), Vincent acts weird (for good reasons), stares at Applejack (while actually zoning out) and after that Applejack becomes less suspicious of him for some reason and invites him over for dinner. Sure, maybe Applejack is unfamiliar with stalkers and the like, (it's still a show for kids after all) but I thought it was a classic example of stranger danger. Vincent's encounter with Rainbow Dash was better though. Rainbow Dash felt more like Rainbow Dash. I liked Vincent a little bit more after his thoughts on the wings.
Chapter 2: In this chapter Vincent met the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and like Rainbow Dash, they felt more in character. However, most of the chapter felt like filler. You spent a long time on the tour around Ponyville, and Vincents reasons for not asking for directions or help felt illogical. I kind of wished he got a map instead and went straight to Twilight Sparkle's place.
Chapter 3: Got more of a feel for Vincent with his struggles to knock on the door. Nice to know he's not fearless. The way he finally got inside felt natural. Pinkie Pie was awesome, and the bit with the...um... boobs kind of made sense, assuming Pinkie Pie knows about as much as the ways of men as Applejack. Honestly, chapter 3 had the most natural story flow, and nothing seemed forced.
Chapter 4: This chapter reverted back to the unnatural feeling I had in the first two chapters. Spike conveniently disappeared, and Twilight Sparkle just wasn't herself. After Twilight Sparkle agrees to be alone in a secret room with Vincent, I stopped reading to make sure the story didn't have a sex tag before coming back. I realize she isn't exactly helpless, (because magic) but she literally trapped herself in a room where no one could hear her scream. Then she had the nerve to tell a guy way taller (and bigger) than her that he was a liar. After they left the private study, I was confused by the ending. I thought Vincent's eyes were turning into gray blobs. It wasn't until I read a comment of yours did I realize he had wings.
Here's my advice. First, get a pre-reader/editor for grammar stuff. Missing words and irregular use of verb tense is distracting. Be sure to ask yourself what the cannon characters would say before you write their lines.
I'm going to finish this review with the overall praises. I like Vincent. I like the way his video game riddled mind works. I like how you hinted at future things, with the wing behavior and the bit about the show in the first chapter. Foreshadowing shows that you're not just making it up as you go. Keep that up.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story:You did that already. Now I'm just shamelessly promoting my story because the group rules say I can.This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: From My World To Theirs
Grammar score out of 10: 6, mainly for punctuation, run-on sentences, and confusing sentence structure in a couple of places
Pros:
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and all the rest of the humanized ponies are in character.
Vincent Pleasure is a well structured character personality-wise and has a unique magical disability
Cons:
Grammar and punctuation are a major disservice to the story so far.
Notes Section (how you can improve your fic, at the very least an elaboration of Pros and Cons section)
The story so far (In the first four chapters at least) is proving to be a little slow and predictable, but I'm confident that will change with time. You already mentioned in your Author's notes multiple times that you and your editors are working on tidying up the grammar of the story, so I wouldn't really pay much attention to my one gripe with your story.
Overall Score: 7/10 with high hopes for improvement!
1981115
It Vincent Pleasant, not Vincent Pleasure, but I'll let it side seeing how his last name doesn't pop up that much.
And thank you for your review.
1981737
I'm sorry for getting your main character's name wrong. I should have been more careful in fact checking before publishing my review.
1982697
Sorry but i got to ask, what do you mean by 'unique magical disability'?
1982767
I've read one or two bits of fiction in my time, and I've seen fictions here on this site that show humans can have a sensitivity to magic. I've never actually seen any story where a human can experience debilitating agony when influenced by magic before. You've definitely given Vincent a disadvantage, which is actually quite refreshing; even though he has some knowledge of the world around him and you've made him a humanized Pegasus, these balance out with his extreme sensitivity to magic.
2093558
Does Vincent come off as a Brony?
The way I see Vincent is that he is just a fan of the show, he watches it, maybe go on a few fan websites like
Equeststria Daily and look at their stuff and that's about it.
With the "Romance" tag, this story did have one when I posted the first two chapters up on here, but after that I finally figured out the story by then and removed it, plus decided that if this story goes well, then there might be another one. [and yes IF there is going to be any romance between the characters, it will be build up]
2094005 I may have judged him too soon. No, he does not come off as one - just a fan, like you said.
I'm still glad he didn't go all "Oh my GERD!!! Applejack and stuff, Ponyville!!! Romance the Mane Six, HOOO!!" though. Brony (or fan of MLP:FiM) in Equestria very often tends to make that mistake. That, and the complete lack of build up to romantic relationships in said stories are another medium.
I'm actually still waiting for a good HiE where the human becomes all vengeful and starts to hate everyone (All American's "Devil's Regret" series aside), eventually leading to a "It's either me or you" scenario.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group Authors Helping Authors.
Name of Story: From My World to Theirs.
Grammar Score: 6.5/10. I found allot of spelling mistakes in the chapters.
Pros:
-The brony is not acting like a complete fangirl and going insane that he is in Equestria.
-You got the mane six's personalities pretty well done.
-You have made a different setting for this Human in Equestria fic where it is a modern Ponyville instead of the one in the show.
Cons:
-There were many spelling and grammar mistakes and some of the sentences didn't make sense because you used the wrong words.
-I think you got Twilight's personality a little bit wrong because she acted angrier than she would normally be, even in the situation she was in.
-You made AppleJack a little too trust worthy, I thought she would be demanding more answers from Vincent.
Notes:
.
-I like the story, but I think to fix your grammar situation you should find some editors and proofreaders in the group Proofreaders and people willing to Proofread to make sure that you get the personalities of the characters right, and you don't have too many grammar mistakes. Aside from that, I liked the story and thought it an intriguing idea. Though, I couldn't help but think of Vincent from Final Fantasy VII when the guy said his name is Vincent
Enjoy the review I give, and if you want you can check out my story The Dragoon. However, I am currently revising the prologue and first chapter I put up, so if you could hold back for a while before going there that would be prime.
And as a final note, I am willing to be an editor for this if you want, but I may not be able to get the edits back to you for a while because of my own fics and because of school.
Cheers mate!
2122257
If you wish for me to hold off on your review, can you please send me a PM for when you are ready for me to start reviewing it please.
2128169 Of course! And again great fic.
This protagonist must be relay be something if he expects ID cards money and the lack of a cutie mark to prove his extraterrestrial origin, the only thing that comes close to being anything close to a argument for hi´s position who'd be the knowledge he have of the past and of future events to come, and he should know this.