After coming to terms with being a "Forever Foal", Spike has come to the conclusion that this is a secret he must carry to his grave. Will Spike be successful or will he be caught?
Hey i have no problem with Spike getting furious and exploding as he did. They do take advantage of him and use him, and don;t even know it. Fluttershy treats him badly in her own way as well, so yeah i'm ok with Spike blowing up on her.
nobody or no pony is perfect, and honestly i don;t see them listening to Spike unless it came to this. Celestia and Luna have much to answer for as well, Luna should of know something was up with her dream walking, and Celestia should of check on Spike as well at times. But bet they assume Spike was ok.
Wow! Very powerful chapter with a lot of callbacks to the show itself as examples as to everything that Spike has bore witness to since his hatching. He's held on to so much that it would be like an uncontrollable force-of-nature to let it all out like that. Not to forget how compromised he'd feel given being spied on, having his privacy invaded, and then 'talked down to' after the events of the day itself.
It's also important to remember that Spike is still just a 'kid'. Children are definitely not good at sharing feelings that they themselves don't understand. Spike, in his youth, sees the neglect along with feeling jealous of how others have what he wants to have in friends and family.
It's also notable how he is in a very defensive posture due to what he is doing. His coping mechanism is not one he feels 'pride' in. So to be caught also would not put him in the best of mindsets.
The chapter's end spoke for all that needed to said. He's depressed, feels worse than he initially did, and has no idea of how to make the pain go away now that his salvation in being a 'forever foal' has been, to him, confirmed as a shameful thing. He's all broken and it's going to take a lot of love to get him back.
At this point, I doubt he'd wish to hear a single word from any of The mane 6. If Starlight was around he MIGHT want to talk to her. However there is no Starlight at this point. I'd think only Celestia, or a dream-influence by Luna, could even start him to begin the reconciliation process. Otherwise Twilight is just going to have to get her parenting on and be a loving mother while acknowledging his feelings and helping him to work through all that has been pent up for so long.
Very well written with many strong references to the show. Great work!
8797339 I'm glad your alright with how I wrote the chapter. The princesses have definitely made some mistakes. I don't remember a single time in the show where Luna used her dream walking ability to help Spike. I of course am tired so maybe it did happen and I'm just unable to think of anything at the moment. Then there's Celestia. She found Spike's egg and used it for a test. Even before he was born he was used as a tool for ponies. She doesn't really give Spike much thought because he is in the care of her talented pupil.
8797403 I'm glad you liked the references and the emotional "roller coaster". There were other references that I could've added since many mistakes were made but I felt that I got the most important stuff mentioned.
While I do want the princesses to be involved in the story at some point, they aren't going to be in this story....
I do have future plans that I've kept in mind so I am one step ahead for possible future sequels. I really enjoy this series and I want to continue it for sure. I want to almost make it like a "show". Like how this story while in a sort of alternate universe would still be connected to the show enough to add "episodes" involving characters who aren't shown often or given much credit.
I do eventually want to finish this story as a whole with possible one shots connected to the series afterwards for a little "update" and make stories with other characters as well but for now everything is all about Spike.
8797957 If Luna did use ehr dream walking abilities, then she could assume to stay out of his personal business, due to being Twilight slave..err i mean friend...sorta of.... Oh hell let's face it, he a slave all but name.
Luna could see the warning signs but maybe thought was none of her business or trusted Twilight to handle it or maybe she never bothered he seemed fine. Still Celestia and Luna screwed up as well and they need to make up for it, or is it the fact Spike a dragon and that why she never bothered? Love to see Spike throw that in thier faces.
8798476 Celestia and Luna are kinda trolls. I'm not entirely sure that Luna would mind her own business but I also don't think she'd check up on Spike. I also am not sure how Luna views Spike in the show. I don't think she has ever called him a servant but she is a bit outdated and out of the loop on some things. She has a soft spot for children but I don't believe Spike falls under that category in her mind.
If Luna did enter Spike's dreams, I'd think there'd have to be a bigger reason to it then just a simple nightmare. It's hard to say. The only other way I'd think Luna would bother with Spike at this current point in time would be if she was bored. I guess I'll have to think about that should I plan to set up such a scenario.
8799088 Well going to say...she didn't assume anything bad was happening to him. It's no different then some people not seeing the signs of abuse or so.
With Spike was a totally different case, but bet she blame herself not not checking on him, this may open her eyes to what possible problems others are facing and work hard in her dream walking to help her subjects and that includes Spike, and other races like Donkeys and any Griffons, Dragons and Minotaurs living in their country.
8799519 Luna probably would feel guilty for not watching over one of her subjects. Even if Spike is a dragon, I believe he is still legally an equestrian citizen.
Twilight is the sister in law to Cadence and Spike is technically a part of the Sparkle family. If that's the case then wouldn't Spike be related to the princesses in some way? Would Spike be considered a great nephew or great grandson or something? I'm not entirely sure what he'd be considered but I know he is legally related in some way. Regardless, I'm sure the princesses would feel even worse for not noticing how one of their family members had been suffering, even if he had been adopted into the family.
I was your kickball when you wanted to gauge your strength and see who could kick me the furthest!
I don't remember that from "Fall Weather Friends." From what I remember they were using footballs.
There was that time during 'Winter Wrap Up' and I was floating on a block of ice in very cold water. You knew dragons were cold blooded and that meant you also knew how dragons were affected by the cold, how it could be much more dangerous for us, specifically me. You didn't care though did you miss health expert? No. You like all the other ponies laughed, LAUGHED at my situation! I could've DIED! What kind of sick pony laughs at death?!"
If I'm being honest, this was one ending to an episode that royally pissed me off, so much so that it ruined my liking for an otherwise great episode.
I could understand him thinking that they were being mean to him, but, honestly, what did he expect them to do when they saw him wearing a diaper and drinking out of a baby bottle? I honestly liked their reactions, sans Rainbow Dash, because they were loving and non-judgmental, a far cry from what he considered them being "mean." Then we get to the worst part of this chapter, wherein Spike chews out all of his friends one by one. Honestly, Spike's behavior pissed me off in this chapter. I understand he's upset and he has every right to be, but that still doesn't give him the right to be a verbally abusive asshole. They certainly wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior if this were one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (especially Applejack or Rarity if it was one of their sisters talking to them this way), so why are they putting up with this behavior from Spike? He's relatively the same age as the Cutie Make Crusaders. Throughout all of his ranting and rambling, cutting down his friends with his tongue, I was hoping that Applejack would get fed up with his mouth and start kicking his ass, giving him a good beating, the thrashing that he deserved. Then afterwards Twilight goes in his room, dumps a suitcase on the floor, and says, "You think you have it so bad here? Fine, pack your shit and get the hell out of my house!" (I'm hoping that maybe in the next chapter that will happen.) At least some of them tried to put him in his place, only to get shot down moments later, which only makes this chapter all the worse.
9052936 The kicking spike was more of a reference to some iron pony competitions.
When writing this chapter I actually had Twilight spanking spike for what he said but I was worried about others pointing out how Twilight never gave him a spanking before and I felt that using spanking in a sensitive situation like this wouldn’t be a good idea. Of course this was written with my own opinions and thoughts so I’m really happy to hear what you would’ve done for this chapter. The whole reason I started writing was to make stories where others could share how they would’ve written something or what they would’ve done differently. That said, I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with the chapter how it was but I am sincerely thankful that you shared your opinions and thoughts.
9072023 I’m really glad you shared your thoughts on this chapter!
I have told multiple people this and I feel the same way with every comment “I like when people share what they would’ve done differently, as this is what got me into writing in the first place.”
This doesn’t mean I’m not slightly disappointed that you felt the chapter didn’t fully please you, but I’m glad that the chapter didn’t completely let you down and that there were areas of the story that you enjoyed and felt were “acceptable to your tastes.”
9308360 I definitely agree. Rainbow Dash might not try to be mean but she is too brash to think about another’s feelings. It just seemed right to have Spike stand up against the mane 6, especially Rainbow Dash.
Hey i have no problem with Spike getting furious and exploding as he did. They do take advantage of him and use him, and don;t even know it.
Fluttershy treats him badly in her own way as well, so yeah i'm ok with Spike blowing up on her.
nobody or no pony is perfect, and honestly i don;t see them listening to Spike unless it came to this.
Celestia and Luna have much to answer for as well, Luna should of know something was up with her dream walking, and Celestia should of check on Spike as well at times.
But bet they assume Spike was ok.
Wow! Very powerful chapter with a lot of callbacks to the show itself as examples as to everything that Spike has bore witness to since his hatching. He's held on to so much that it would be like an uncontrollable force-of-nature to let it all out like that. Not to forget how compromised he'd feel given being spied on, having his privacy invaded, and then 'talked down to' after the events of the day itself.
It's also important to remember that Spike is still just a 'kid'. Children are definitely not good at sharing feelings that they themselves don't understand. Spike, in his youth, sees the neglect along with feeling jealous of how others have what he wants to have in friends and family.
It's also notable how he is in a very defensive posture due to what he is doing. His coping mechanism is not one he feels 'pride' in. So to be caught also would not put him in the best of mindsets.
The chapter's end spoke for all that needed to said. He's depressed, feels worse than he initially did, and has no idea of how to make the pain go away now that his salvation in being a 'forever foal' has been, to him, confirmed as a shameful thing. He's all broken and it's going to take a lot of love to get him back.
At this point, I doubt he'd wish to hear a single word from any of The mane 6. If Starlight was around he MIGHT want to talk to her. However there is no Starlight at this point. I'd think only Celestia, or a dream-influence by Luna, could even start him to begin the reconciliation process. Otherwise Twilight is just going to have to get her parenting on and be a loving mother while acknowledging his feelings and helping him to work through all that has been pent up for so long.
Very well written with many strong references to the show. Great work!
8797339
I'm glad your alright with how I wrote the chapter.
The princesses have definitely made some mistakes. I don't remember a single time in the show where Luna used her dream walking ability to help Spike. I of course am tired so maybe it did happen and I'm just unable to think of anything at the moment.
Then there's Celestia. She found Spike's egg and used it for a test. Even before he was born he was used as a tool for ponies. She doesn't really give Spike much thought because he is in the care of her talented pupil.
8797403
I'm glad you liked the references and the emotional "roller coaster". There were other references that I could've added since many mistakes were made but I felt that I got the most important stuff mentioned.
While I do want the princesses to be involved in the story at some point, they aren't going to be in this story....
I do have future plans that I've kept in mind so I am one step ahead for possible future sequels. I really enjoy this series and I want to continue it for sure. I want to almost make it like a "show". Like how this story while in a sort of alternate universe would still be connected to the show enough to add "episodes" involving characters who aren't shown often or given much credit.
I do eventually want to finish this story as a whole with possible one shots connected to the series afterwards for a little "update" and make stories with other characters as well but for now everything is all about Spike.
8797957
If Luna did use ehr dream walking abilities, then she could assume to stay out of his personal business, due to being Twilight slave..err i mean friend...sorta of.... Oh hell let's face it, he a slave all but name.
Luna could see the warning signs but maybe thought was none of her business or trusted Twilight to handle it or maybe she never bothered he seemed fine.
Still Celestia and Luna screwed up as well and they need to make up for it, or is it the fact Spike a dragon and that why she never bothered?
Love to see Spike throw that in thier faces.
8798476
Celestia and Luna are kinda trolls. I'm not entirely sure that Luna would mind her own business but I also don't think she'd check up on Spike. I also am not sure how Luna views Spike in the show. I don't think she has ever called him a servant but she is a bit outdated and out of the loop on some things. She has a soft spot for children but I don't believe Spike falls under that category in her mind.
If Luna did enter Spike's dreams, I'd think there'd have to be a bigger reason to it then just a simple nightmare. It's hard to say. The only other way I'd think Luna would bother with Spike at this current point in time would be if she was bored. I guess I'll have to think about that should I plan to set up such a scenario.
8799088
Well going to say...she didn't assume anything bad was happening to him.
It's no different then some people not seeing the signs of abuse or so.
With Spike was a totally different case, but bet she blame herself not not checking on him, this may open her eyes to what possible problems others are facing and work hard in her dream walking to help her subjects and that includes Spike, and other races like Donkeys and any Griffons, Dragons and Minotaurs living in their country.
8799519
Luna probably would feel guilty for not watching over one of her subjects. Even if Spike is a dragon, I believe he is still legally an equestrian citizen.
Twilight is the sister in law to Cadence and Spike is technically a part of the Sparkle
family. If that's the case then wouldn't Spike be related to the princesses in some way? Would Spike be considered a great nephew or great grandson or something? I'm not entirely sure what he'd be considered but I know he is legally related in some way.
Regardless, I'm sure the princesses would feel even worse for not noticing how one of their family members had been suffering, even if he had been adopted into the family.
*Shyly raises my claws*
8826877
Lol!
Gotta admit, not sure if I'd laugh but I'm okay with it. Probably would laugh depending on a certain situation though.
I don't remember that from "Fall Weather Friends." From what I remember they were using footballs.
If I'm being honest, this was one ending to an episode that royally pissed me off, so much so that it ruined my liking for an otherwise great episode.
I could understand him thinking that they were being mean to him, but, honestly, what did he expect them to do when they saw him wearing a diaper and drinking out of a baby bottle? I honestly liked their reactions, sans Rainbow Dash, because they were loving and non-judgmental, a far cry from what he considered them being "mean." Then we get to the worst part of this chapter, wherein Spike chews out all of his friends one by one. Honestly, Spike's behavior pissed me off in this chapter. I understand he's upset and he has every right to be, but that still doesn't give him the right to be a verbally abusive asshole. They certainly wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior if this were one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (especially Applejack or Rarity if it was one of their sisters talking to them this way), so why are they putting up with this behavior from Spike? He's relatively the same age as the Cutie Make Crusaders. Throughout all of his ranting and rambling, cutting down his friends with his tongue, I was hoping that Applejack would get fed up with his mouth and start kicking his ass, giving him a good beating, the thrashing that he deserved. Then afterwards Twilight goes in his room, dumps a suitcase on the floor, and says, "You think you have it so bad here? Fine, pack your shit and get the hell out of my house!" (I'm hoping that maybe in the next chapter that will happen.) At least some of them tried to put him in his place, only to get shot down moments later, which only makes this chapter all the worse.
9052936
The kicking spike was more of a reference to some iron pony competitions.
When writing this chapter I actually had Twilight spanking spike for what he said but I was worried about others pointing out how Twilight never gave him a spanking before and I felt that using spanking in a sensitive situation like this wouldn’t be a good idea.
Of course this was written with my own opinions and thoughts so I’m really happy to hear what you would’ve done for this chapter. The whole reason I started writing was to make stories where others could share how they would’ve written something or what they would’ve done differently.
That said, I’m sorry you weren’t satisfied with the chapter how it was but I am sincerely thankful that you shared your opinions and thoughts.
9072023
I’m really glad you shared your thoughts on this chapter!
I have told multiple people this and I feel the same way with every comment “I like when people share what they would’ve done differently, as this is what got me into writing in the first place.”
This doesn’t mean I’m not slightly disappointed that you felt the chapter didn’t fully please you, but I’m glad that the chapter didn’t completely let you down and that there were areas of the story that you enjoyed and felt were “acceptable to your tastes.”
Despite how much I see it in Fandom, I do enjoy seeing Spike stand up for once, especially against the sometimes cruel Rainbow Dash.
9308360
I definitely agree. Rainbow Dash might not try to be mean but she is too brash to think about another’s feelings. It just seemed right to have Spike stand up against the mane 6, especially Rainbow Dash.