After coming to terms with being a "Forever Foal", Spike has come to the conclusion that this is a secret he must carry to his grave. Will Spike be successful or will he be caught?
A most visual chapter. Great job in your descriptions of actions to go along with how each of the girls were feeling. This is certainly strides beyond the first chapter in which you wrote that had The Mane 6 gathered together. Great flow along with transition between character actions. All the characters were also quite in-character, too. Head canon, of course, with Dash but it adds to the comedy along with furthering the story in the most natural way that could be possible. (No pony else would read such literature. Rary 'might' to imagine how her clothes may look in certain situations. However it is very doubtful she'd ever make intimate clothing for how it would make her image come off as less than upper-class.)
Great references to past episodes. You also made it show-like with some of the cartoon elements, like Rarity's 'fainting couch' showing up along with smoke coming out of Twilight's ears. So it was certainly an informative chapter along with retaining a sense of silliness.
This is really coming off like a genuine Spike episode. Great work!
I'm glad you liked how I wrote the chapter! While I really like serious stories, I don't want people to have too find some sort of connection and deep understanding to the characters in every chapter. If every chapter was too "deep" and "emotional" then you might not get to enjoy the story as a whole. If you focus too much on the intensity of each story then your mind won't be able to relax and you yourself will be unable to experience the joy of reading something "simple". I think everyone on this website has seen at least a few episodes of MLP so they know that the show isn't solely focused on "deep" character traits. There are episodes which focus on friendship lessons and have some silly scenes within while there are also a few intense episodes here and there, however, they are spread out to insure the show isn't entirely focused on conflict and violence while trying to save Equestria. If I myself focus too much on "serious" work then readers will simply assume that I'm only into intense stories which isn't the case. I do not wish to be tied down to stories which solely focus on deep emotional connections and conversations. I want to show everyone that I can be just as creative while being relaxed and silly at the same time. I hope I was able to achieve that goal. If not then I'll be attempting a comeback towards the end of next chapter where I plan to add a cute and silly scene.
I'm sorry, but this chapter makes it very hard to like the Mane Six for obvious reasons. Like Fluttershy said, it's none of their business what Spike is hiding. And like Rarity said, they should respect his privacy. I'm actually appalled at not just Rarity's behavior in this chapter, but also the behavior of the Mane Six as a whole.
9052844 I understand. I really disliked the way the mane 6 has treated spike in the past so I sorta went out and vilified them. I know they don’t try to hurt spike but sometimes I just get so upset at their decisions, especially when they are obviously doing something wrong and can’t realize that for themselves.
A most visual chapter. Great job in your descriptions of actions to go along with how each of the girls were feeling. This is certainly strides beyond the first chapter in which you wrote that had The Mane 6 gathered together. Great flow along with transition between character actions. All the characters were also quite in-character, too. Head canon, of course, with Dash but it adds to the comedy along with furthering the story in the most natural way that could be possible. (No pony else would read such literature. Rary 'might' to imagine how her clothes may look in certain situations. However it is very doubtful she'd ever make intimate clothing for how it would make her image come off as less than upper-class.)
Great references to past episodes. You also made it show-like with some of the cartoon elements, like Rarity's 'fainting couch' showing up along with smoke coming out of Twilight's ears. So it was certainly an informative chapter along with retaining a sense of silliness.
This is really coming off like a genuine Spike episode. Great work!
I'm glad you liked how I wrote the chapter!
While I really like serious stories, I don't want people to have too find some sort of connection and deep understanding to the characters in every chapter. If every chapter was too "deep" and "emotional" then you might not get to enjoy the story as a whole. If you focus too much on the intensity of each story then your mind won't be able to relax and you yourself will be unable to experience the joy of reading something "simple".
I think everyone on this website has seen at least a few episodes of MLP so they know that the show isn't solely focused on "deep" character traits. There are episodes which focus on friendship lessons and have some silly scenes within while there are also a few intense episodes here and there, however, they are spread out to insure the show isn't entirely focused on conflict and violence while trying to save Equestria.
If I myself focus too much on "serious" work then readers will simply assume that I'm only into intense stories which isn't the case. I do not wish to be tied down to stories which solely focus on deep emotional connections and conversations. I want to show everyone that I can be just as creative while being relaxed and silly at the same time. I hope I was able to achieve that goal. If not then I'll be attempting a comeback towards the end of next chapter where I plan to add a cute and silly scene.
I'm sorry, but this chapter makes it very hard to like the Mane Six for obvious reasons. Like Fluttershy said, it's none of their business what Spike is hiding. And like Rarity said, they should respect his privacy. I'm actually appalled at not just Rarity's behavior in this chapter, but also the behavior of the Mane Six as a whole.
9052844
I understand. I really disliked the way the mane 6 has treated spike in the past so I sorta went out and vilified them. I know they don’t try to hurt spike but sometimes I just get so upset at their decisions, especially when they are obviously doing something wrong and can’t realize that for themselves.
I burst into Laughter at Rarity's Reaction to Pinkie Pie's Party Suggestion. Nice work!
9308236
Thanks Leon! I really enjoyed last writing this chapter, as well as last chapter.