Bwahahaha this is great.

You had my interest, but now you have my attention.

8738582
Mauroz drew her.

I love the idea of being the small guy. Please, continue this.

That’s one way to start a relationship, hold him down and blackmail him to go out with you then kiss him goodbye. This looks like it could be fun.

Amma follow dis.

Allright, this looks good, and the cover was made by Mauroz! Excelent choice my friend.

8738616
Such an amazing artist, yet so underrated and not well known at the same time.

"I have plans for the weekend! Which involve a littlemetime! I don't wanna be known as the guy who dated the six-foot amazon of the wrestling team! I'll be dead before I can even graduate!"

Quit your bitching and DO IT you fagot! She wants some, and what is wrong with a tall woman? You are always at eye level with her boobs! That is literally something you can brag about. The call of nature is worth a little harmless DEATH. DO IT!

I liked it, for the most part. Spike seems to have a bit of sass on him. That’s good when it comes to quick witted humor... however, this girl just saved him from bullies. There’s no signs that other people treat him bad, just Garble and his cronies. Spike seems to have a caring and humorous mother. And Spike himself seems to have a backbone. So... why did he get angry at his savior? From the looks of it the hazing would have gone on till Garble and his gang got bored, apparently the teachers aren’t worth a damn for this story, so why be angry seconds after this girl just saved him? Literally that’s been my question since their first interaction.

8738687
Damn straight, brother.

This is interesting to say the least. I don't really know how I feel about Spike at the moment tho. I mean for some reason he stay on a team that seems to do nothing but abuse him and doesn't show him any respect. But than Ember works up the nerve to ask him out and what does he do HE than disrespect her and even call her names because she isn't in his eyes, feminine, enough for him. I think it is good in a way since it gives him room to grow and break out that foolish way of thinking and we may find out why he is even the watering boy with the way he is treating.

Ember really is the best waifu for Spike.

Oh hell yeah. I'm excited.
----------------

came over and said,

"Well, if it ain't tater-tot!'

Put these on the same line. You do it a few more times, and you need to change those as well. You only make new paragraphs with dialogue when
1) It's the same person talking and they require multiple paragraphs
2) It's between a group of people and they're having an actual conversation. It's usually obvious who says what line, but sometimes authors make it confusing on purpose, usually for comedy (from what I've seen anyway)

yet was well-toned

remove "was"; you already had it right before.

mostly waining down the style

uhh... https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/submission/14625/waining
Yeah I've got no clue

Garble and his friends, he turned Ember who smiled at him.

he turned to Ember, who smiled (don't forget the comma)

Just show and you'll understand

Just stay (???)

everybody went home, except for Spike and Ember

delete comma

girls' locker

girl's
I understand why you made it plural, but "girl" is an adjective here, it works to explain the singular group that contains all girls.

An interesting way to get a date... so what does Ember see in Spike?

That's one way of asking someone out on a date.
...
How many of us guys wouldn't actually mind that?

8755823
*Raises hand* me? I guess.

8755823
I wouldn't mind

This is looking promising.

Go on