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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I understand bro. I'm not dinging you for how you do things, but on some things there are other ways to write things. Just in the future, try to give the mane 6 more of a "Cannon" feel to their dialogue, Twi being a over happy lecturer/bookworm, fluttershy being her shy self (granted i haven't read the fluttershy chap so i won't comment on that for now) on occasion or standing up to her husband (forgot which one it was) when they are being an idiot, dash being a bit cocky (you do show this on occasion.) And more competitive, like little contests here and there. I also know Spit is a bit of a hardass from cannon, so maybe incorporate that when the need arises? Rarity is a dramma queen, nough said. Pinkie....just have some of her zany antics but incorporate a time where maybe her and her husband have a big fight or something and she goes Pinkamina.
Aj is stern but fair, but lets her pride get the best of her at times (dash does too.), also both are hotheaded so don't make them like fucking trophy wives. (Again i haven't finished reading to current so idk the dynamics yet, just giving some ideas and constructive criticism.)
Yeah, I know, and I'm doing my best, but some chapters just seem to come out better than others.
However, I DO know that I more than nailed the Fluttershy chapter, as I've already gotten positive feedback from that one. I've also nailed Rarity being a drama-queen, (like the bit from "Battleship Express where she tried to paint the Big Boy pink, and the engine blasted her with waste steam, soiling her dress!) I'm working on Dash being cocky, and I've so far got Pinkie being hyper and happy down pat! I guess that I could work in a scene where she and Dan fight, and he meets Pinkamena.
And no, Spitfire and Dash are NOT trophy wives! And neither is Daring Do either! Daring is getting her chapter, (the one that I'm working on right now to prove that she's NOT a trophy wife, and after that, yes, there WILL be a chapter all about Dash, Spitfire, and the Wonderbolts! Said chapter will involve Dash challenging Leopard to a race, Leopard going Full Metal Jacket on some recruit's asses, some arguing, and Leopard and Spitfire getting into a shouting match that ends in a cat-fight! It'll be like something out of the show, (hopefully!) and I know that it will be great.
But yes, thank you for the constructive criticism, and I'll try to do better in the future. Also, I hope that you've enjoyed your read so far, and that you keep reading. Plus, just wait until you get to the chapters where Daring Do gets involved with the story, then things REALLY get interesting!
Hmm...I was wondering what had happened to that guard. You see, I was one of the many German prisoners after the Berlin massacre. Instead of killing me, they gave me a job as , I quote, "the eyes and ears of our glorious matriarchal empire", or something like that. A video surveillance op to put it normally. Should have known that sniveling crap was responsible. He stabbed me with a damn fork of all things a little while after, that should have been a red flag.
Once I broke out along with the other German POW's, never saw Face during the escape for some reason, normally he tries to be near is "oh so dear Master" at most times.
If you ever make your way back to Earth, visit the German Imperial States. Just say Inferno sent you at the gates, and they will let you in without a fuss. Just don't break any laws, seriously. We kill people for even joking about treason, which is why our country has almost no crime. I would love to meet the rest of the crew of the Battleship Express, and your respective Mares, and give you a tour of our NEW great nation.
Glory to the GIS, Comrade!
9250959
Hello Korpsman of Kreig,
And that must have been sometime either in late 2023, or no later than February of 2024. The first part of WW6 is still raging, but the lines are stalemating in Europe, and the Futas are pushing through the West Coast of the US. Leopard and the rest of Firestorm Battalion are racing to slow them down, but are slowly being pushed back towards Sue Falls, South Dakota. In May, 2025, they take their last stand there. The Berlin Massacre took place before that, and by at least a year and a few months.
And it would have been for the "Glories of the Futanari Empire, in the name of the Great Goddess". Garbage, all of it. Even Empress Demetria herself doesn't believe in it! Stacy and her followers did though, and so did Face.
And it's strange too. I never knew that Stacy and Face were even IN Europe at all, to say nothing of Germany! I heard rumors that Stacy was involved with the war in Europe until the war early 2024, when the war in the US began. Then she shifted her focus there, and once Vegas became Demetria's new capital, she never left. No doubt she would have had Face with her in Europe, as she NEVER let him out of her sight.
However, those escapes of the POW's leading to the European forces driving the lines to a stalemate was actually the work of our beloved Empress Demetria. She arranged for those POW's to escape, so that the war would start going against the Futas. You and those who survived the Berlin Massacre, and subsequent stay in a POW camp before escaping have her and her subordinates to thank for that! The Futas NEVER recovered from the losses in Europe, Australia, and the Western US, and they'd exhausted their best forces in the first part of WW6, before the second Cold War began. Sure, WW6 was still anyone's war at first, but once Futa reserves became more depleted, it was game over for them!
In the aftermath of WW6, thanks to news brought by the crew of the Wabash Cannonball, those on the Battleship Express learned of the GIS, and the rest of the Republic of European Unions, (ROEU), and how Europe was back to being the free, and independent countries that it used to be back before the world wars began. Yes, Germany was the most powerful, followed closely by Great Britain, France, Italy, and of course Mother Russia.
And I'll return to Earth one day if I can. I've wanted to go back, as have others on the Battleship Express. I'll try to visit the GIS if I can, and see what's become of Europe since WW6 ended. I'll be sure to visit Berlin, and see where the brave defenders kept the city free of the Futas, in spite of horrific losses, as well as the memorials dedicated to those brave individuals.
We'll find our way back one day, mark my words!