Two years have past since Counties Duchess had her little meeting with Fenriss and the kingdom has done nothing but prosper. Because of Fenriss’s new tax policy the lower class has managed to help grow the economy due to their newfound ability to buy more luxury items. However, this is not the only thing that has changed and grown over these couple years.
Kiba has also grown in several ways over the two years, less physically more academically. Over the two years Kiba has grown more curious about the world around him and how things work. So once he turned five Fenriss decided to go and get Kiba a personal tutor, not only because she wanted the best for her pup but she also wanted someone else for Kiba aim his endless questions at.
So when KIba was old enough to start schooling Fenriss decided to go try and get her pup the best mentor in all of the kingdom. This being an elderly Pomeranian Diamond Dog Named Magnus, or as he is better known as Magnus the master Alchemist.
You see unlike the other creatures that inhabited the world of Equestria the Diamond Dogs were not blessed by astounding strength, like the Dragons or Minotaurs, or such magical prowis like the ponies. However, they did have something that no other race seemed to very few others have. This being there natural ability to use alchemy for a variety of things.
Their alchemic prowis has even been rumored to be even be on par with some of the ponies most powerful magicians. However this gift the Diamond Dogs have is actually quite rare in nature, it is said that only one in every fifty pups born is born with the ability to use even a tiny bit of alchemy. For this reason when a pup is born with the ability to use alchemy they are treated as well as the highest rank nobels.
Anyways when Fenriss went to the small stone hut that was deep on the outskirts of her territory to request Magnus to teach her young pup his reaction was not what she expected. What Magnus said was,” find someone else to teach him I am not doing it.”
Fenriss blinked in surprise at this, partially not really used to anyone saying no to her. She then looked at the elder and asked,” um might I ask why that is because if it is about payment then I assure you it will be more than worth it.”
Magnus waved his left paw dismissively in front of his face and said,” No that is not why I will not teach your pup.”
Fenriss raised her eyebrows in confusion and asked,” Okay then for what reason do you say you will not teach him.” Fenriss then clenched her fists as glared at Magnus and in a very angry voice asked,” is it because he is not a Diamond Dog, is that your reason?”
Magnus returned her glare and said,” Frankly your majesty I do not care what your pup is and I would thank you not to suggest such things again.” Magnus then turned his gaze away from Fenriss and looked instead at the ceiling. Magnus then sighed and said,” the reason I will not teach your pup is because I have not meet the lad.”
Fenriss just blinked and asked,” I am sorry did you just say you won't teach him because you have not meet him?” Fenriss then rubbed the temples of her head and asked,” How pray tell does that make even the slightest bit of sense?”
Magnus looked at Fenriss and with a smirk said,” it makes sense to me which in my opinion is the only real thing that matters.”
Fenriss rubbed her face and said,” I always heard that you were a strange one Sir Magnus but honestly this is a bit ridiculous.“ Fenriss then crossed her arms and asked,” so if I bring by pup by to meet you you will teach him?”
Magnuz shook his head and said,” I did not say that, all I said was I wouldn’t teach him because I don’t know him.”
Fenrir grumbled angerly while she rubbed the top of her head. Fenrir then yelled/asked,” Then what while it take for you to teach him?”
Magnus sighed and said,” if you really want me to teach him then he must prove that it won't be a waste of my time.”
Fenriss turned her head to the side and asked,” what do you mean by prove himself, are you talking about some sort of test?”
Magnus gave a quick nod and said,” yes I want him to take a test of my own design.” Magnus then stood up as he walked over to the the giant wooden chair that sat in the center of the main living room and sat in it. Once Magnus was nice and comfortable he said,” If he can show even the smallest amount of promise then I will teach the pup all I know.”
Fenriss gave a small nod and said,” I see, then I shall come back tomorrow with my son and you shall give him your test.” Fenriss then turned around and made her way to the door but stopped and asked,” Does that work for you Sir Magnus?”
Magnus sighed and said,” I would say no but since you are the queen I guess I have no choice.” Magnus then closed his eyes and said,” now I humbly ask you to leave me so I might get all the required material for the test.”
Fenriss gave a small nod and left his hut and returned to her castle to tell her son of what was going on. Once the next day arrived Fenriss took Kiba to Magnus’s hut and once there knocked on the door.
After waiting for a couple minutes Magnus opened the door and said,” so you have finally arrived your highness.” Magnus then turned around and said,” come follow me I will show you to the test.” Magnus then walked into his hut with both Fenriss and Kiba close behind.
Magnus then lead them through his hut and down into his basement which housed vast amounts of knowledge. On all but three of the walls there were whole book several shelves containing a vast amounts of ancient books and scrolls. On the back most wall there was a large table that almost spanned the length of the wall and on top of it there were several vials, beakers, and containers holding different potions and ingredients used in alchemy.
However, there was one thing that was really strange amongst all these things was a giant circle with the several lines inside it smack dab in the center of the room.
Magnus then walked over to the to the table at the back wall and said,” Alright my test is simple even a pup should be able to do it.” Magnus then picked up a becar filled with a green powder and proceeded to walk to the circle and poor the powder in the center. He then smirked and said,” your test my boy is to transmute this emerald dust into a whole emerald.”
Fenriss grawled and bitterly asked,” Is this your idea of a joke sir Magnus?!” Fenriss then pointed at the circle and said,” you known as well as I that very few pups are born with the ability to use alchemy, it was just by chance that i was given such ability!”
Magnus then snickered and said,” well if you don’t think your pup is up to snuff then I thank you for your time and wish you both good day.” Magnus then turned his back to them and walked over to his table.
Fenriss bared her fangs towards the old dog in a blazing fury, how dare he say such things about her precious Kiba. Fenriss then balled up her fists and readied herself fully and thoroughly berate this old fool, but she halted dead in her tracks when she felt something grab onto her left arm.
Fenriss looked to see what was holding her and was shocked to see Kiba with a scared look on his face. Kiba never did like to see his mama angry or upset cause she tended to become very scary, he much rather see her as her normally happy and kind self.
Fenriss sighed as she unballed her fists and crouched down so he was at his eye level. She then smiled softly as she cupped his cheeks and said,” I am sorry you had to see that my Gem I promise that I am all better now.” Fenriss then gently pulled his head closer to her and kissed his forehead.
Kiba smiled as she did this and once she pulled away he said,” I want to try it mama, it looks like it can be fun.”
Fenriss looked at her son quizzically and asked,” Are you sure Kiba cause no one, let alone me, would blame you because very few have the ability use alchemy.”
Kiba gave her two thumbs up and said,” don’t worry mama I am sure I can do it you know why.” Kiba then hugged his mother's neck tightly and said,” I am your son after all.”
Fenriss smiled and hugged Kiba just as tightly and said,” that you are my little Gem.” The two then broke off the hug and Kiba walked over to Magnus and tugged on his robe.
Magnus turned his head to look at Kiba and asked,” so am I correct in assuming that this means that you will be taking my test?”
Kiba gave Magnus a quick nod and said,” yes sir, it looks like it will be a lot of fun.” Kiba then walked over to the circle and smiled as he waited for Magnus to come over and tell him what he needed to do.
Magnus smirked and said,” well this promises to be entertaining at the very least.” Magnus then walked over and stood beside the smiling Kiba. Magnus then cleared his his throat and said,” like I said before your test is to transmute this emerald dust into a whole emerald.”
Kiba turned his head to the side and asked,” um how do I do that?”
Magnus rubbed his chin and said,” well I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t really have that knowledge.” Magnus then stopped rubbing his chin and said,” okay basically I want you to use alchemy to take the emerald powder and turn it into a whole emerald.”
Kiba was still a bit confused on how to do that so he just gave Magnus a strange look like he was speaking another language. This made Magnus sigh and say,” okay I see this is going to be harder than I first thought.”
Magnus then pointed at Kiba and said,” alright I will tell you what to do step by step.” Magnus then pointed at the ground and said,” the first step is for you to get and your knees and place your hands on the circle.”
Kiba gave Magnus a nod to show he understood and got down on his knees and placed his hands on the circle.
Magnus chuckled and said,” well at least I know you are good when it comes to taking directions.” Magnus then put up two fingers and said,” step number two is simple, I just need you to close your your eyes and imagine your hands filling up with energy.”
Kiba looked up at Magnus and asked,” um how do I imagen energy filling my hands?”
Magnus rubbed the back of his head and said,” well I think of it like this, think of a fire deep in your chest moving to your hands.” Magnus then stopped rubbing the back of his head and said,” okay now the third and final step I want you to send that energy in your hands through the circle and into the emerald dust.”
Kiba gave a strong nod and then closed his eyes and began to picture a flame in the center of his chest. Kiba then imagined the flame moving from his chest to his hands, the circle, and then emerald dust.
As he did this the circle started to glow and sparks started to shoot off. Magnus smiled at this and said,” good now I need to to use that energy to force the dust grains together and form a emerald.”
Kiba then took a deep breath and did as he was told to do, picture the emerald grains coming together and making a whole emerald. While doing this the emerald dusts started to glow brightly, but after a few seconds it and the circle stopped sparking and glowing.
Kiba opened his eyes to see if he had done it, but he was shocked to see the pial of emerald dust was still in the same position. Kiba frowned as he stood up and walked over to his mother and hugged her waist tightly.
Fenriss frowned as she looked down at her son and then at Magnus and said,” I am sorry for wasting your time sir Magnus we will see ourselves out.” Fenriss then put her hands on Kibas shoulders and started leading him out of the basement.
However, before they could leave the basement Magnus said,” hold on just a second your majesty.”
Fenriss and Kiba then turned around to see Magnus to walk over to the emerald dust in the center of the circle and start to move it around. After a few minutes of him sifting Magnus smiled and pulled out a whole emerald the size of an average nail.
Magnus smiled as he looked at the tiny emerald and said,” well it would seem your pup was more than I first thought.” Magnus then put the emerald in his front robe pocket and said,” I have made up my mind.” Magnus then pointed at Kiba and motioned for him to come over.
Kiba was a bit hesitant at first but finally made his way over to him when his mother gave him a small nudge in the back. As he stood in front of Magnus he started to fidget due to being nervous about what he was going to say.
Magnus chuckled as he put his right paw on the boys shoulder and said,” calm down my boy I just wish to congratulate you on passing my test.”
Kiba looked at Magnus in disbelief and said,” but I didn’t turn all the emerald dust into a whole emerald.”
Magnus smiled and said,” I don’t recall ever telling you that I wanted to you to turn all the dust into an emerald.” Magnus then looked at Fenriss and asked,” did you ever hear me say that your majesty.”
Fenriss shook her head as she walked down the stairs and said,” no I don’t recall you saying that.” Fenriss then walked behind Kiba and set her paws on his shoulders and said,” I believe all you told him to do was transmute the dust into a whole emerald.”
Magnus laughed and said,” exactly a never told you needed to make it a certain size or amount of dust that needed to be used.” Magnus put his paw on Kiba's head and said,” this test was to see if you even had a shred of potential I could work with and I can say for certain I saw it.”
Kiba looked up ay Magnus and smiled the biggest smile as he shot forward and hugged Magnus. As he hugged Magnus he repeatedly said,” oh thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Magnus smiled and gently pushed Kiba back a little and said,” alright young one that is enough of that.” Magnus then pointed at the stairs and said,” now I need you to go upstairs so I might have a few words.”
Kiba smiled as he gave Magnus a quick nod and ran up the stairs. Fenriss chuckled as she watched Kiba climb the stairs and said,” well he sure seems excited, I can’t recall the last time I saw him so excited.” Fenriss then turned to Magnus and asked,” so what do we need to discuss sir Magnus?”
Magnus turned around and walked over to his table while saying,” well I was hoping we could talk about possible living arrangement. It would be rather bothersome for me or your pup to travel such a long way for his lessons.”
Fenriss crossed her arms and said,” well I was also thinking about that and I think I might have come up with an idea.” Fenriss then walked over to him and said,” I think it would benefit everyone involved if you moved to the castle so you can successfully teach Kiba.”
Magnus looked at Fenriss with one eye and asked,” what about all the material that is housed here, what will become of it?”
Fenriss smiled as she touched the table and said,” well I can have all your material moved to the castle if you want.”
Magnus closed his eye that he was using to look at her and said,” alright I can agree to that, but there is something else we need to discus.”
Fenriss turned her head to the side and asked,” oh and what might that be?”
Magnus looked her dead in the eyes and said,” this pup is my student so I do not want you to try and undermine me when I am teaching him.” Magnus then turned his attention back to his desk and said,” if that can be done than then we will get along fine.”
Fenriss sighed and said,” when you put it like that than I see no reason to argue.” Fenriss then glared at him and said,” however, I recommend you change how you speak to me though, I am still the queen after all so I could have you thrown in the dungeons.”
Magnus chuckled and said,” yes of course your majesty I can do that.” Magnus then waved his hand while saying,” known if you can excuse me I must make a suitable curriculum for my newfound protege.”
Fenriss chuckled and said,” alright, I will have the guards come by in the next couple days to escort you and your material to the castle so you can start your lessons.”Fenriss then turned around and went upstairs to retrieve Kiba so they could go and celebrate his accomplishment.
Magnus then reached into the pocket he put the emerald in and pulled it out so he might look at it once again. Magnus then gave a small laugh while saying,” this promises to be very fruitful I can just tell.”
Diamond dogs being skilled miners AND alchemists... as in Full Metal Alchemist-style alchemy!? I did not expect that and while the minotaurs are strong, they are also smart enough to be skilled blacksmiths and engineers... and possibly orators *coughIronWillcough*
Fenriss? Why does that name sound familiar?
9066872 Feminine derivation of 'Fenrir', Norse demon evil wolf.
So his name's Kiba, eh?
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/b0/a8/ce/b0a8ce699b555114a27cc63f7c4daa11.png
And he ends up friends with a Diamond Dog coincidentally named Akamaru.
9066869 If they can do all that... why the hell did they need Rarity to dig for gems?
Or were those just a group of idiots who'd banded together?
9066880 Methinks the latter is more plausible. Pretty sure smart diamond dogs exist in the show, but we just don’t see ‘em.
9066878
love the Naruto reference and might actually do that now in the future.
9066869
Full Metal Alchemist was one my biggest inspirations when writing this chapter.
9066880
They needed her cause they could literally see the gems underneath the rock, which means they wouldn't have needed to waste as much energy in searching for their exact locations.
9067158
Makes sense. Although it would be an interesting take. He would be like Celestia to them when he took the throne.
In my head she was going home and suddenly she appeared in his house when opening the door.
after that he is going to say "there he can do it, he don't needs a teacher, now go away"
I could find my old comment again, but can you help me with what kind of dog she was again? I think it was a golden (whatever it is names in english) and I think his nanny was something like "lessi?"
yep that helps, and he is still acting as if he gave him the permission to cheat during the exame and has even written the notes for him.
I like this story. I'm never sure if it is just my current mood or something else when I read certain stories, but I'm never really sure what to make of it so far, but I always finish reading this story with at least a "well that was nice" in my head.
I liked this chapter, maybe because it continues to shape the world a bit more. Not sure how much you explained their little realm so far, but it feels to me as if it slowly comes together right now even if I only read this chapter today.
9067259
I just like it if they have roughly the same lifespan at least as soon as they appear in Equestria, mostly because I want the humans or other creatures to live as long as with however they get shipped with.
9067727
I suppose
I was worried about this from the moment you said "alchemy".
This is essentially no different from adding smartphones to canon Equestria and treating it as if no explanation is necessary because there's nothing about the canon setting that would justify using the term "alchemy" to refer to a process involving physical restructuring via circular diagrams that you lay your hands on... and that is very immersion-breaking. (Likewise, canon Equestria has no reason to invent smartphones. Given the magic and gemstones available to them, if they wanted a mechanism for real-time communication over long distances, something like a palantír would be a far more obvious direction for their research and development to go in.)
In any context other than Fullmetal Alchemist, it would be expected that the process of engaging in alchemy to be more like the chemistry that it developed into in the real world. (Harry Potter canon does this, for example. The implication is that alchemy shares similarities to potion-brewing in the same way that chemistry shares similarities to cooking.)
...so it's essentially a glaring, out-of-place injection of a Fullmetal Alchemist concept with no justification for it being there.
(Same problem with fics that use the VI/AI (Virtual/Artificial Intelligence) distinction from Mass Effect in stories with no connection to Mass Effect, rather using words that could plausibly develop in real life, like "Control Program" vs. "A.I." or the Weak/Strong or Narrow/General distinction that AI researchers actually use.)
9067822
I am sorry that you don't like how I put in alchemy but I hope you will change your mind as I go forward and explain it a bit better in further chapters.
9067719
Fenriss is a Golden Retriever and Lassie is the nanny.
I am happy you like my chapter and story it means a lot to me.
9067983
I'll certainly give it a chance but, given the way the story has been progressing so far, I'm not very hopeful. I was already giving the story the benefit of the doubt to see if it would develop more in the direction I was interested in as Kiba grew up but you seem to be steering away from it instead, so I don't have much patience left for it.
9067983
Yep I really like it, however what is Lassie again? I imaged Lassie is a collie ?
To be honest I still have to read his comment, but I liked the aditional alchemie thing. It maybe ensures a bit that our main char get's some usefull skills, not that I'm waiting for an OP Char, but I hate it if the main char appears to be often hides and everything and if they are allowed to help let's say in boss fights, they often get knocked out.
I don't ask for them to be unbelievable strong and everything like that, but I also hate it if they have to hide or need to get rescued by the local hero or even a regular resident of Equestria. I have my different idea on how this can work, but 70% seems to think with a universe in mind that has everything being stronger or more harmfull to a human or whatever main char they can think of.
I did that sometimes too, but since he said canon I need to say I believe you used the alternate universe tag and are still building your world.
I find Pinkie talking to the author to be much more immersion-breaking sometimes and I bet there are other ways for her to break the fourth wall if the author has to focus on that. Sometimes I think if Pinkie get's out of hand it can reach a point where it is not exactly funny anymore.
I bet i do some of that stuff too, but I don't exactly like him comparing this with other series just because they have "some" form of alchemie in it. It is as if I pick something out of another anime to justifie why this could work. I stop here because I'm getting a bit distracted and lost track of my thoughts.
I actually just wanted to tell you that I think it was alright to try something different from what I see usually here, without starting a little fight with the other guy. Not that I know him yet, but I know how some can react to that.
Personally, I don't think some things need a description. I think most anyling here would visualize Lassie as a collie. Sadly, not for too much longer though.
Much like how most 14 year olds today have no idea who Vincent Price or Bela Lugosi was, I think there will soon be a generation who has forgotten Lassie and Old Yeller.
Film provides longevity, but sadly not immortality. All names are sadly eventually forgotten.
As for the story, I do like it. Lack of commas makes for some run on sentences here and there, but over all a good read. Personally I disagree with Magnus. While he is right in the idea of not teaching someone you haven't met, I think the kid failed the test very badly. I wouldn't have taught him for two very important reasons. Reason one, he gave up after one try and was ready to leave. Anyone wanting to learn would have tried again. Reason 2, he never asked what he did wrong or show any curiosity as to why he failed. Without the urge to question your failures, you absolutely can't learn. So If I were Magnus, I would have given the kid a lollypop and sent him to a mediocre teacher. He most likely knows several.
This may sound a bit mean, but there is nothing more frustrating than trying to teach someone who doesn't want to learn.
The Monk
9068173
I can see your point he didn't show much of a curiosity towards learning, but I can promise once his lessons start he will show his more curious side. Thank you so much for your comment I think it will be very helpful as I wright further chapters.
Can't wait for the next chapter!