...I can't help but agree with Spike that Rainbow is committing a grievous misuse of the control and power Twilight agreed to give her. I'm pretty sure Twilight would agree, if she had known. Which makes what Rainbow's done all the worse, as this seems like one of those cases where the longer she keeps it secret from Twilight, the more of a chance their relationship falls apart.
9029554 Twilight already knows. If you read through the previous chapters you'd see Twilight already knew. I'm not sure how as it's been a while since I went through them myself, but she does know
Edit: it's at the end of chapter 2 (Dumb and Dumber), and the start of chapter 3 (Ground Rules) is where the establish the rules of using the spell.
I actually rather like the Trixie and Starlight relationship here. Usually when they are portrayed as a couple, its generally Starlight who comes across as the dominate one. I rather like Trixie getting to be the boss, as because of here ego, she generally has to get taken down a peg more then praised.
wow, I wasn't really expecting for Rainbow to get help from those two. An idea popped into my head and now I'm wondering, Are you thinking/planning on doing a spin-off of this story, but with Trixie messing up the spell?
9029594 9029571 Twilight didn't expect Rainbow to copy the circle, but she wouldn't be upset about it because she never told Rainbow not to. That's the general logic of this entire story: As long as RD doesn't explicitly break any of Twilight's rules, then Twilight allows it as fair game. If RD ever does something that Twilight really doesn't want to happen, she'll just add an amendment to the rules for the next time.
The entire point of this little game is to see how Rainbow can kinda loophole her way into doing things that Twilight never anticipated
9030136 I wanted to do a sort of inversion of Rainbow and Twilight. In their relationship, RD is the dominant one, and she has the cock and the brains. In Starlight and Trixie's dynamic, Starlight has the cock and the brains (although the disparity in intelligence is nowhere near as extreme), but is submissive to Trixie. That, plus their more bondage/denial centered dynamic, I think will make for some interesting displays later down the line.
Did they even record anything? Spike is going to be pissed. I'm looking forward to seeing what Rainbow has planned. I predict Glimmer is going to end up stupefied before long.
9030593 Oh I have no doubts about what perversions you'll throw at them with a mind like yours, just saying I usually prefer my Trixie a little more Dixie.
That orgasm denial was hot but it's weird that Starlight didn't show any signs of discomfort or agitation in the beginning of the episode if she was that desperate. Also didn't Trixie do that catalyst spell in the end?
9094044 What Trixie was doing was sending the panties back home so she could prepare the catalyst spell. As for the lack of discomfort early in the chapter... I kinda didn't intend for there to be a denial element until halfway through writing this chapter.
9094121 Well, Trixie says she needs something that belongs to Twilight, as well as Starlight’s help, so there's no way she could've possibly cast the catalyst spell because Starlight did nothing magical to help her. So perhaps instead of being so rude, you should read a bit more carefully.
I won't argue, the denial thing was a bit of laziness on my part, so half marks on your comments
9094163 Writers tend not to enjoy being told what they "should" do with their stories. Having thoughts and critique is one thing, but don't tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing in my story. You gotta be more constructive than that.
And you're the first person to not understand the panties situation, so I think that's not so much of a problem of the fic and more of an issue of you reading over a key line or two. It happens.
9097461 Alright. The second one sounds more rude to me. It sounds like I am trying to make them conform to my desires instead of trying to make find improvement points in their story. Is "Maybe it could be better if you tried this..." a good way of saying it? I do think there should be some mention of Starlight's discomfort earlier. Especially seeing how desperate she was later it makes little sense how she was completely fine a few minutes ago.
9097484 even that's more passive aggressive and still implies you think you know better than the writer chief
either way you're making these comments because in your opinion you can improve on the story, and that's just your taste at the end of the day
so it'd be better to say 'i would like it more if you conform to my desires' instead of your suggestion, which is 'maybe it could be better if you conform to my desires' which is just hiding how you feel about the work by pretending it's anything other than how YOU think the story should go
This is so good! Man I wish I found this sooner! I'm in love with the dynamic you created with them. I like the sex, but I especially like the situations Dash keeps coming up with. I feel like Dash is one step ahead of regular twilight, not just dumb twily.
“O-oh well…” sighed Twilight. She felt Rainbow push her forward, until she was just a few inches from the short, white landing strip of hair just above Trixie’s cunt. She moved with trepidation, hesitating for a second before bringing her tongue down to Trixie’s lower lips. Trixie placed her hand firmly on the back of Twily’s head, pushing her down more forcefully. She grinded her hips down against Twily’s face, biting her lip to stifle a moan.
Pretty sure Twilight wasn't in this scene, Twily was.
Dear god.
...I can't help but agree with Spike that Rainbow is committing a grievous misuse of the control and power Twilight agreed to give her. I'm pretty sure Twilight would agree, if she had known. Which makes what Rainbow's done all the worse, as this seems like one of those cases where the longer she keeps it secret from Twilight, the more of a chance their relationship falls apart.
9029554
Twilight already knows. If you read through the previous chapters you'd see Twilight already knew. I'm not sure how as it's been a while since I went through them myself, but she does know
Edit: it's at the end of chapter 2 (Dumb and Dumber), and the start of chapter 3 (Ground Rules) is where the establish the rules of using the spell.
I think that Rainbow might have let things get a teensy bit too far
9029571
I meant Rainbow having Starlight and Trixie copying the spell circle. Fairly certain that was never addressed by Twilight.
I actually rather like the Trixie and Starlight relationship here. Usually when they are portrayed as a couple, its generally Starlight who comes across as the dominate one. I rather like Trixie getting to be the boss, as because of here ego, she generally has to get taken down a peg more then praised.
9029583
Nah
wow, I wasn't really expecting for Rainbow to get help from those two. An idea popped into my head and now I'm wondering, Are you thinking/planning on doing a spin-off of this story, but with Trixie messing up the spell?
Slightly disappointed it was Starlight packing heat and not Trixie.
9029594
9029571
Twilight didn't expect Rainbow to copy the circle, but she wouldn't be upset about it because she never told Rainbow not to. That's the general logic of this entire story: As long as RD doesn't explicitly break any of Twilight's rules, then Twilight allows it as fair game. If RD ever does something that Twilight really doesn't want to happen, she'll just add an amendment to the rules for the next time.
The entire point of this little game is to see how Rainbow can kinda loophole her way into doing things that Twilight never anticipated
9030136
I wanted to do a sort of inversion of Rainbow and Twilight. In their relationship, RD is the dominant one, and she has the cock and the brains. In Starlight and Trixie's dynamic, Starlight has the cock and the brains (although the disparity in intelligence is nowhere near as extreme), but is submissive to Trixie. That, plus their more bondage/denial centered dynamic, I think will make for some interesting displays later down the line.
Did they even record anything? Spike is going to be pissed.
I'm looking forward to seeing what Rainbow has planned. I predict Glimmer is going to end up stupefied before long.
9030702
You're thinking along the right lines, but not in the way you'd probably expect.
Spike will get his recording eventually.
9030593
Oh I have no doubts about what perversions you'll throw at them with a mind like yours, just saying I usually prefer my Trixie a little more Dixie.
I honestly hope that Starlight gets a chance to be the dominant one later on.
Because I just can't see her as a submissive, no matter how hard I try
Dashie's right, the game has just gotten much more fun!!!!
So... is Trixie and Starlight copy the circle... does that mean Rainbow, Starlight and Trixie can cast the dumb spell on twilight whenever they want?
That orgasm denial was hot but it's weird that Starlight didn't show any signs of discomfort or agitation in the beginning of the episode if she was that desperate.
Also didn't Trixie do that catalyst spell in the end?
9094044
What Trixie was doing was sending the panties back home so she could prepare the catalyst spell. As for the lack of discomfort early in the chapter... I kinda didn't intend for there to be a denial element until halfway through writing this chapter.
9094120
Okay. You should make that a little more clear.
I get that but that means you should add it to the beginning of the chapter.
9094121
Well, Trixie says she needs something that belongs to Twilight, as well as Starlight’s help, so there's no way she could've possibly cast the catalyst spell because Starlight did nothing magical to help her. So perhaps instead of being so rude, you should read a bit more carefully.
I won't argue, the denial thing was a bit of laziness on my part, so half marks on your comments
9094161
I don't see where I was rude. I just said that the role of the panties was not quite as clear as it should have been.
9094163
Writers tend not to enjoy being told what they "should" do with their stories. Having thoughts and critique is one thing, but don't tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing in my story. You gotta be more constructive than that.
And you're the first person to not understand the panties situation, so I think that's not so much of a problem of the fic and more of an issue of you reading over a key line or two. It happens.
9094169
I don't quite understand that. Saying what you should do is the definition of constructive. Destructive is only saying what you shouldn't do.
It was mostly just that I found it strange it wasn't brought up in the end.
9094173
to say 'you should do this, writer' is to imply that you are smarter than the author, which is extremely rude
what you might WANT to say instead is 'i would like it more if you did this, writer'
9097461
Alright. The second one sounds more rude to me. It sounds like I am trying to make them conform to my desires instead of trying to make find improvement points in their story.
Is "Maybe it could be better if you tried this..." a good way of saying it?
I do think there should be some mention of Starlight's discomfort earlier. Especially seeing how desperate she was later it makes little sense how she was completely fine a few minutes ago.
9097484
even that's more passive aggressive and still implies you think you know better than the writer chief
either way you're making these comments because in your opinion you can improve on the story, and that's just your taste at the end of the day
so it'd be better to say 'i would like it more if you conform to my desires' instead of your suggestion, which is 'maybe it could be better if you conform to my desires' which is just hiding how you feel about the work by pretending it's anything other than how YOU think the story should go
9099394
Alright. I'll replace "should" would "could".
That last part of your message was a little confusing for me though.
This is too funny to make me horny
9714117
Whoops
This is so good! Man I wish I found this sooner! I'm in love with the dynamic you created with them. I like the sex, but I especially like the situations Dash keeps coming up with. I feel like Dash is one step ahead of regular twilight, not just dumb twily.
Pretty sure Twilight wasn't in this scene, Twily was.