Chapter 1 - Meet Colgate
Chapter 1 - Meet Colgate
Minuette hated her name almost as much as she hated her job. Neither of them had ever seemed fitting to her, no matter how much sense they made to the ponies around her.
Her dad made clocks, her mom made clocks, and her older brother made clocks. From the day she discovered her cutie mark in clock making, Minuette knew that life had a plan for her. She was always on time for her job too, to the very millisecond. Not even Minuette could deny that she had a good sense of time, and that she made the best clocks in all of Equestria. Everything had seemed to play out perfectly for her when she inherited the family store and made about fifty bits a day just from making and selling clocks.
It was everything Minuette ever could have wanted....or so she thought. It was a bright sunny day in Hoofington when she heard the bell on the front door. She called out to the visitor, expecting a customer.
"Welcome! Here to buy a clock?"
"I've got plenty of my own, thanks." Said a voice that was instantly recognized by Minuette.
"Sprocket? What are you doing here?"
Sprocket, Minuette's older brother, smiled and trotted casually up to the counter.
"Just thought I'd stop by and see how my little Colgate was doing while I'm in town."
Colgate was a nickname she had earned from her friends due to her bright smile and the fact that her mane was colored in a way that resembled minty toothpaste. Minuette jumped over the counter and tackled hugged her equally blue brother to the ground.
"Ow! Hey! It's good to see you too sis, just watch the teeth."
Colgate got off of her brother.
"What are you doing in Hoofington? Don't you have your own store to run back in Fillydelphia?"
"Nah, we don't work on sundays, and neither should you! Don't you have anything better to do then make more bits?"
Minuette shrugged.
"Not really. Hey, what were you saying about your teeth?"
"I've had a really bad tooth-ache since yesterday, and I can't figure out why. Any guesses?"
"I'm not sure. Here, why don't you sit down and I'll take a look?"
Sprocket nodded, letting his plot fall to the floor.and opening his mouth.
"It hurts back here," Said Sprocket, pointing to the area by his wisdom teeth.
Minuette immediately recognized the problem and used her magic to retrieve a small screwdriver she usually used for making clocks. However, Sprocket closed his mouth before she could use it. She levitated the screwdriver away from him and waited for him to talk.
"Let's not stick metal tools in my mouth, ok?"
"Relax! There's just an apple-seed stuck between your teeth. It won't hurt! I promise!"
"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure dentists use pain killers or-"
"It's alright! Really! It can't be more delicate than making clocks, and you know how good I am at that!"
"Ok, but be careful..."
Minuette's horn began to glow again, and the screwdriver found it's way to the back of Sprocket's mouth. With one swift movement, she quickly jabbed and turned with the screwdriver, removing the apple-seed.
"Ow!" Yelped Sprocket, falling over backwards.
"But it feels better now, right?" Said Minuette. Sprocket took a moment to consider this.
"You're right! It's much better now! Thanks, Colgate!"
Sprocket looked up to see his sister smiling intensely. He hadn't seen her this happy for a while. He assumed that was due to the fact that he just hadn't seen her for a while at all.
"No problem! Let's do that again some time!"
The stallion gave his sister a questioning look.
"Geez sis, you look like a filly who just got her cutie mark. What's so great about removing crap from people's teeth?"
"That was way more fun that making clocks. Hey, do you think I could be a dentist?"
"Clocks? What's wrong with clocks?"
"Oh! I could set up an office! They'd call me doctor Colgate!"
"Minuette listen to me, I don't think-"
"Oh that would just be so much fun! I could do this every day!"
"Minuette! You can't just go against your cutie mark!"
Minuette suddenly remembered the obvious problem that her brother was trying to point out. Her life was MADE for clocks. Her name was for clocks, her family was for clocks, her cutie mark for clocks, and even some of her personality traits had to do with clocks. It was only then, however, that she fully understood the painfully obvious truth. Clocks are boring.
"Well maybe I don't want to make clocks my whole life! I mean really, how BORING is that?"
"Making clocks is fantastic! It pays pretty well-"
"Not as well as dental care." Minuette pointed out. Sprocket just ignored her.
"-it's easy, and it's what we're destined for!"
"Maybe I'm not destined for it! Maybe my cutie mark isn't even an hourglass! It could be like....a hammer or something!"
"A hammer? Minuette, you're not listening to me."
Sprocket was starting to become seriously worried, but Minuette payed no heed to his fears.
"Well, I've got to close up shop. I'll see you later, Sprocket!" She announced suddenly.
"Close up shop? Didn't you just open?"
"You were right, I've got better things to do."
Her brother left the store more than confident that Minuette was a level headed mare who wouldn't do anything stupid or unruly. However, the mare in question herself was convinced otherwise.
Minuette was quietly packing her saddlebag when her brother returned to pay her another visit. The look on his face was completely priceless to the mare when Sprocket realized that she was serious.
"Minuette! You can't just leave Hoofington and start a dental office! Think about how crazy that sounds!"
Minuette grinned. "I know! It's fantastic!"
Sprocket's horn began to glow and a familiar shade of blue magic levitated Minuette's saddlebag away from her.
"Come on sis, what about the family store? What will mom and dad say?"
Minuette groaned and yanked the saddlebag back with her own magic.
"I don't care what mom and dad say, I've had it with clocks and our stupid clock destiny. I'm leaving!"
"Leaving!? Where would you even go?"
"I'm going to Ponyville! I've heard that they don't have a dental office, so they have to go all the way to Canterlot just for their appointments! I plan to fix that!"
"But Minuette-"
"No buts! I'm leaving, Sprocket. And tell mom and dad to sell the bucking clock store, I'm not coming back!"
And with that, Minuette hoisted on her saddlebag, and left through the front door, leaving her brother standing there alone.
After taking a train and arriving in Ponyville in the early afternoon, Minuette stopped to admire the sights. There were birds, trees and grass everywhere, and she wasn't quite used to that. Hoofington is mostly gray, and has sidewalks and roads spanning the entire town with greenery only in the parks. The buildings were also very different from those of Hoofington. Hoofington's buildings were just squares with windows and signs. The buildings in Ponyville, on the other hoof, were oddly shaped and colored all kinds of different hues.
Before long Minuette realized that she didn't have anywhere to stay for the night, and that there were no hotels in Ponyville. She eventually decided that she'd have to ask around to see if there were any vacant buildings for sale that she could use as a house and office. She approached a pink earth pony mare who seemed to be buying flowers.
"Hey, would you happen to know if there are any houses or buildings for sa-"
-GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP- "I've never seen you before! What's your name?"
"Oh, I'm Min-"
"You must be Colgate! It says so on your saddlebag! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"Actually, that was a gift from my brother. My name is really-"
"Oh my gosh! I've got to throw a party! I'll see you later, Colgate!"
Pinkie began to move at incredible speeds towards.....pretty much everywhere. She zoomed from pony to pony quickly telling them about her party.
Minuette was about to call out to her when she suddenly felt a hoof on her shoulder. She turned around to see the red-maned flower merchant holding her shoulder.
"Don't bother, you'll get used to her eventually. It's Colgate, right?"
"Actually it's Mi-" Minuette paused mid-sentence to reconsider. "Er, Colgate is fine."
"My name's Roseluck. You're looking for a house right?"
"Yeah, preferably something I can use to live in and as an office."
"An office?" Questioned Roseluck. "What's your talent?"
"I'm a dentist!" Said 'Colgate' proudly.
"Really? Ponyville has been in need of a good dentist. Some of the residents here have some problems concerning....sugar." Roseluck gestured towards Pinkie Pie, who was telling somepony about her party while hanging upside down.
"Well anyways," Continued Roseluck. "I know of a little place by the edge of town. It's not much, but everything else is already inhabited, unless you want to live in a library."
"Whatever it is, I'll take it!"
"Colgate" arrived with her proud attitude and a proud new name at her not so proud new home. It was a small two-story building that was just barely big enough that she wouldn't have to consider moving into that library Roseluck mentioned. With some help from Roseluck, Colgate had already contacted the owner and paid for the house for a cheap yet fitting price of 45 bits. It was completely run down, full of holes, and painted an OBNOXIOUS color of yellow.
Colgate then entered the house and found that the inside was not only covered in disgustingly large terrifying spiders, but painted the same obnoxious color as the outside.
She later returned to the market to obtain one large bucket of blue and white paint each, and the biggest can of bug-spray legal in Equestria.
Stats
Page generated in 0.043 seconds
Total duration
1,012 users online
1,956,075 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm liking this, it's really interesting.
Interesting take on the niche that this fandom has given to these background ponies. Thumbs up and will read this later.
I can't wait to see what Berry did to poor Derpy.
I am liking this already. I love it when background ponies get entire stories devoted to them.
In other words...
You've got my attention.
I'm really enjoying this.
It looks good, can't wait to read more!
My attention.
You have it.
Pre- Mane six chronicles? I'm liking this soo soo much!
941328
941400
941414
941519
941413
941522
941762
941854
Thank you all so much!
Normally I'd take the time to reply to each one of you individually, but I need to get busy writing the next chapter!
Yeah! Hurry! I wanna see ponies cleaning the house!
942949
No prob. I love originality.
942949
Yay!
942949
If the rest of this story is anything like this first chapter, I will be one satisfied machine.
Take your time, make it awesome.
943000
I was just thinking the same thing!
943015
Me too, though I'm kind of surprised nobody else has done a story just like this before. I thought of it on my own but it still seems better than something I would come up with usually.
943258
Yay!
943291
Unfortunately, the rest of the story won't be anything like the first chapter
'Cause it will be better!
943392
YAY!
At first, I din't think this would be good, but I read it and it's amazing! I'm looking forward to more!
Keep at it!
944355
Well thanks!
And yeah, I probably should work on getting a better picture. I made this one in 6 minutes with gimp, since I'm not too great of an artist.
I think the fanon is that Colgate's cutie mark represents 'Be sure to brush your teeth for three minutes!'
Win, lol
I'm liking this already, but one quick tip. When two characters talk space out what they say.
No, no.
Oh, and no -GAAAAAAAAASP-, I know that's Pinkie's thing, but just type "The curly-maned mare let out a loud gasp." or something like that, k?
TO THE SECOND CHAPTER!
Well, the feature box seems to be working. I've found a few little gems in there the past few days!!!!
I love this shit so far! Pinkie Pie is crazy as ever in this, too!
Interesting concept, but I see quite a few problems already
.
There is inconsistent formatting and comma splices out the wazoo. However, those can get fixed with a keen eye for grammer in under an hour. What the big kicker is that you TELL a lot, but you need to SHOW more. In one of the opening paragraphs, you say she made the best clocks in Equestria, what you need to write is some examples of such work. Did she make one for the princess? Did she make one for some of the Canterlot Elite? SHOW SHOW SHOW!
I respect that you're trying to get on EQD with this story, but you need to get an editor or two to help go through these mistakes.
(Not me, I'm writing my own stories.)
Lol, just started to read this. You really referenced the Ask Doctor Colgate blog with some of that stuff. Like the hammer.