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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Let the fireworks begin.
Sunset has fired the Chekhov's gun of the century and a half. Also, I wonder how much Daybreaker/Celestia is going to burst into an unforgiving rage or complete maternal joy over seeing Sunset pull that off.
Also, Middy is still REALLY hyped, as we can see from Book Human's reactions. Also, let's be real. You can't just get rid of the nightmare so easily.
Nightmare Glimmer soon.
[Edit: Trixie feels like a Chekhov's Gunwoman.]
I had a lot of fun prereading this one. It was a bit of work to get all the in-universe politics to fit together and present both sides of a debate in which Twilight is clearly wrong but we got there. Most people don't sit around all day thinking about how a society of sex slaves would function - for the obvious reason. Throw in a discussion about territorial expansion and the fucking mail service and you've gone far above and beyond what any sane person will expect from their dark sexual fantasy. That is all to say, you shouldn't feel too bad about needing help when 99% of the time, I'm just present and brushing up simple typos that probably would have been buffed out during a drafting phase.
That and it does feel good to finally feel like I'm paying some of my debt back for the editing you've done on all of my stories.
Eclipse is an interesting antagonist here. I really like how she's so concerned for the well-being of the hero she's partially captured, it ultimately leads to her losing the initiative. It's a nice twist on the usual cliché of a bad guy doing everything they can to let the good guys win. Regarding the actual politics and economics of such a civilization as Twilight wants to bring about, it could never work. The efforts by the opposition, however unsuccessful thus far, make this clear as day.
Twilight thinks like an addict, which she is. The fact that a disease caused this addiction paints her in a more sympathetic light but the parallels can't be ignored. She's making wild assumptions about things getting better over time that aren't observable in the present, presenting common logical fallacies to justify her schemes. The repressed virgin unchained is a long-running theme in Firesight works; you've been writing this for longer than I've been writing about large ears! But this story does it the most justice, mainly in the story device used to cause this transformation in Twilight.
It's honestly tragic how this happened to her and mirrors the experience of many people battling their own demons in that their obsession or dependency was something they fell into during a moment of weakness. And as so often the case, especially for sex freaks like us, it's not even something you can blame on one person or event. It's a vulnerability that lies in the character of each and every one of us, poised to strike when we least expect it.
Honestly, this story might be a bit too mature a take on the subject to even be described as escapist fantasy but it's found an audience of which I am happy to be a part. Looking forward to the next chapter!
No year long wait for next chapter or I sic the Fluttershy and Rarity on you!
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🔥🔥Quite literally! 🔥🔥
I had to look that up! And yes, I guess it is, since I certainly wouldn’t do something like this without having a purpose in mind for it!
Given she’s aware of everything but can’t do anything in her crystal prison, you’re probably going to find out in due course!
Well, the argument could be made that Middie is always hyped, but yes, I know what you mean. A near-goddess she may be, but she still has one hell of a crush on Sunset for having taken her down before.
No spoilers on the subject of The Nightmare’s potential survival, sorry.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by that. Regardless, she’ll be seen and heard from again, and her role was vital in unraveling the origin of the curse, getting the portal away from Eclipse and then getting word to the human realm as to what was happening.
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Thanks in large measure to you, yes. You pointed out several things I hadn't noticed or thought of which I then incorporated, not the least of which was the other points and counterarguments that Sunset could make. So thanks for that, and all the comments you left on the google doc. I promise I'll get to answering them soon.
The short answer is that it wouldn't, but this chapter finally forced us to really think about why.
You sell yourself short, mon ami. I've always looked forward to your feedback on my drafts, and even aside from the occasional edit, many are the times you've either stopped me from doing something stupid or made a suggestion or joke I then turned around and incorporated directly into the text. That's not nothing.
You're welcome! But don't think you haven't paid me back for it with all your help and feedback.
The funny thing, she's operating with a handicap here because she wants Sunset on her side, and thus she doesn't dare do anything that might harm her, including trying to stop the rite in its tracks.
Sunset also has the experience of having once been an evil mastermind and supervillain, so she knows what she's talking about far more than most.
She and everyone else already infected at this point, but she's the ringleader. Sunset's effectively giving her an intervention, which like most targets of it, she resists, coming up with all sorts of reasons and rationalizations that even a moment of clearheaded thought should tell her are false. But she's not capable of that right now, and neither is anyone else.
Thanks! Yes, I suppose is has been, which certainly says something about me. I'll leave that for others to psychoanalyze, but just imagine how poor Twilight is going to take all this when she's restored to sanity. Can't imagine it would be well.
And we will all have a few of those moments at some point in our lives. It's part of falling and getting back up again. It's part of learning from your mistakes.
All true. And all we can do when it happens is just try to roll with it and learn from it.
Thanks for all your help! It certainly started as escapist fantasy and remains that way to a degree. But since I know perfectly well that both this story and the curse can't actually go on indefinitely, it's time to bring it to a proper and hopefully fitting conclusion. I have plans for the aftermath of the (mostly) cured curse as well I've shared bits and pieces with you. I'm looking forward to seeing those come to fruition.
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Nuuuuuu! Anything but that!
Don’t worry. You’ll be getting the next chapter in a month or two, but from there, I have to finish Midnight Rising before I can complete this to make sure Nightmare Night’s climactic confrontation between Midnight and Eclipse is properly set up. Once it is, I can write this through to completion. I’m sorry to make you wait a little more, but there’s plenty more fun when we get there. And be sure you’re following the upgraded and greatly improved action of Midnight Rising to know what’s happening.
This was a great chapter and the debate about a functional society was interesting. Both sides make good points but I suspect that if the curse proves too unworkable Eclipse would just try to alter it to make thigns work instead. Whether such a thing could actually succeed is another question. Though Eclipse did not have a good answer to Sunset's point about sex as currency not working.
Sunset's transformation was very impressive and I'm looking foward to seeing how things will go from here. Sunset's experience as a former bad girl certainly help her even though Eclipse is less insane than Sunset thinks.
Sunset's statement about Eclipse casually imprisoning her mentor and killing someone without trial are not entirely correct since Eclipse didn't like imprisoning Celestia at all and the Nightmare is something the world is better of without.
I would like to see what world would look like if Eclipse won but one that does actually adress all the points Sunset came up with. I have seen an MLP story with a functional evil empire so this should be possible too.
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It's a direct descendant of the Chekhov's gun trope, but used on a character.
I.E. I'm calling out Trixie being mentioned and doing something that feels too minor for that to be all she does because she did stuff that clearly shows she has more involvement rather than just "getting sent to the human world"
Oh boy. Sunset truly has pulled out all the stops. And as you indicated a while back, it won't be enough. Definitely looking forward to the showdown and whatever follows.
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Thanks! That’s the irony of this chapter, you know—for all the clop I wrote this past month, a new chapter of my most clop-heavy story had the least of all of them. I went with a philosophical discussion and ascension sequence instead.
That’s because there isn’t one. I’m sure Eclipse would try to magically fix things but what that would have to boil down to is using some form of tangible currency and maybe magically suppressing urges so work can be done. Maybe make it so sex is only allowed after the end of a workday or something. It’s interesting to think about, but I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say it’ll ultimately be moot. Or mostly.
Sunset’s advantage is that she knows how a supervillain thinks and what buttons to push to get them to do what you want, especially in the case of Twilight given how well she knows her.
She doesn’t know all the circumstances, true enough, but she still knows that the uncorrupted Twilight would never have condemned another being to death. Not even The Nightmare, though you can bet Luna wouldn’t have minded doing it in the least.
As you’re not the first to request a bad-end chapter or even a side story, it might have to be something I’d consider later. Much later, at this point, given how far we have yet to go.
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Ah, I see.
It wasn’t all that she did. In fact, I think she had a big and meaty role through the first half of the story. if you recall, she helped Sunset escape the first couple of Eclipse’s traps, restored her with an ether potion, and even figured out who was patient zero and how the curse was initially spread.
She was also first to realize that Twilight was infected and stopped Starlight from making a terrible mistake of summoning her, she later teleported the portal away out of Eclipse’s grasp, and then managed to evade pursuit and escape through it more or less on the strength of her own wits, will and magic to warn Sunset and the rest of the CHS Equestria Girls gang. That’s ain’t nothing. The story moved away from her a bit just as it moved away from Starlight, but they’ll reappear for the ending.
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She did indeed! Sunset risked everything to ascend even knowing she could die, but also knowing that if she doesn’t defeat Eclipse here and now, both worlds fall. And maybe, in the end, that’s why she was able to do it this time. She was acting in defense of others and didn’t seek power for her own selfish ends.
Then I left you ready and eager for more. Good! I don’t know if it’ll happen this month, but I promise another chapter out by the end of the year.
Oh my goodness this chapter seems more like Sunset and Twilight having a fick measurement contest.
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Oops. Just realized I never answered this. Apologies.
I guess you could call it that, though it was much more intended as a battle of wits and test of Sunset’s character to me. Honestly, though, if you want a real dick-measuring contest, the next chapter will have it in spades during their duel, given they’ll be trying to one-up each other with every new attack or technique.