Equestrian Human

by TheMajorTechie

Log 4161: Celestia's Tour Bus Adventure!

Alright, alright, so I might've cut off the last log a bit short, but seriously, listening to people blab on about their names and their supposed "family heritage" to each other gets boring. Especially so when it's Celestia talking about her mother, her mother's mother, her mother's mother's mother, and her mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's whatever. Sheesh, and she said that she didn't listen to her mom, and yet she still knows enough to fill up a good handful of hours just talking away.

Either way, it was either that or get our funding for the portal project pulled completely for a lack of return investment. I guess it's a win-win???

"--And so that's pretty much as far as I can remember." Celestia finally ended.

A short while of clapping later, and Celestia was officially done with her history lesson on her family bloodline. No word yet on Equestria itself though.

Though, there is a bit of something strange that I've noticed while she was going on with her speech... each and every tier of her family's ancestry carries the name "Celestia", and it's apparently been going on for so long at this point that adding numbers afterwards to indicate who came first has pretty much been abandoned in all but the most official documents. And history books.

And it seems like the diplomat guys that were brought in are pretty interested in learning more about how Equestria isn't particularly a patriarchy or matriarchy. Huh. I never really noticed that myself until they asked about it. Though, maybe a certain supposed father figure should've gotten it in their head that a male heir was pointless...

Honestly though, if you ask me, if you take into consideration just how long Celestia's family dynasty has been ruling, I'm pretty sure that Equestria probably leans a bit closer to a matriarchy in the long run.

But enough with the debate. Celestia wants to see the world.

---

Have I ever told you how comfy tour buses are?

I mean, sure, it's a bit bulkier given how the entire thing is fully armored and bulletproof because important peeps are important and all, but still. They've even got their own bathrooms!

...

Actually, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure that Hagen's van-bus-thing is actually pretty similar to this. Just less fancy, less padding, and not quite as indestructible.

Eh, a ride's a ride.

I turned to Celestia, who was currently pressing her face against the window.

"Well," I began, "Anything you see that's interesting?"

Celestia nodded. "Yeah, definitely. Equestria may have its own vehicles and stuff, but I've never seen anything quite like this before..."

Delmar raised a brow, turning in his seat to face Celestia. "I take that you're fascinated by our world's cars?"

Eagerly nodding, Celestia continued. "Yes, quite! What do they run on?"

Delmar stroked his chin with a hoof. "I remember that they used to run on oil-based fuels, but these days it's usually a split between solar and rechargeable batteries. Though, typically, it's a combination of the both."

"...Interesting." Celestia nodded, "So I take that these 'solar panels' draw energy from your Sun?"

"Yup!" I chimed in, answering for Delmar.

Celestia frowned. "But wouldn't that drain its energy? The Sun, I mean."

...Did she ever even pay attention in school?

"No," Delmar sighed, "The Sun generates its energy via nuclear fusion, and its byproduct, light, is what the solar panels utilize for energy."

Celestia nodded as she took in what Delmar said. "So it doesn't drain your Sun, but rather simply reduces the amount of available light for the world."

Delmar facehoofed, grimacing as he remembered that his hooves aren't exactly as soft as hands are, even though they are indeed already pretty soft compared to actual horse hooves.

As for answering Celestia's questions, this is gonna be a loooong ride.

---

"I'm hungry." Celestia stated flatly, "Are we there yet?"

Before Delmar or me I could answer, one of the diplomats cut in.

"We don't have any set destination, but we could stop by a restaurant if you'd like."

Celestia clapped her hooves. "Great!" she exclaimed, "What kinda food do you have here?"

I ran through my mental list. "Um..." I began, "Based on what I remember, most of the places around here are fast food, and there's a couple fancy places close to the lab where we came from."

How's the trip going?

Celestia and Delmar have been in this endless loop of asking and answering questions up until she got hungry. How's the portal going?

Well, since you seem to prefer your pony form, I dug out the original portal and the V.2 designs, so I guess I'll just set the portal to exit into the same location as the entrance or something after I adjust it to work more like V.2.

...Wait, so you're saying...

That this would essentially be a species-swapping machine? Yeah, I guess. Or at least, I hope.

Yeah, the last thing I need is another portal screwup. Not that I'm salty or anything.

Yeah, yeah. Have fun with the Queen.

I looked back up from the tablet. Celestia was squabbling about eating meat or something. I think.

"No," Celestia whined, "I want the fast-food place!"

She followed up by blowing a raspberry at whatever poor guy brought up the idea of going to a fancy restaurant. "I've had quite enough fancy to last for a while."

Nevermind. She's not complaining about meat-eating, as opposed to what I expected. Maybe she's like me and just doesn't really care about what she eats as long as it's not amounting to cannibalism.

"So..." I began, "What do you want then?"

Celestia pointed a hoof towards a nearby fried chicken place.

Hoo boy.

Author's Note:

At this point, even I can't tell who's more mature-- Gadget, or Celestia?

Comments

[bonberjean]

well... to be fair, this Celestia lives in a world where humans and ponies live together, so, they must used to the dietary needs of humans

[TheMajorTechie]

8534723
Exactly why she wants fried chicken.

[tsaukpaetra]

Who's more mature? Now let's not get into a pissing contest!
Going on a tour in a bus seems quaint. Not to mention as far as we know Earth hasn't been made aware of ponies, and this logistics nightmare taking them out anywhere. The random "let's go driving places" activity shows just how off-guard Celestia's arrival is.
Meanwhile on the other side a state of emergency is probably getting declared. Fun.
Keep going! ;)

[TheMajorTechie]

8535309
Nahm Ranell told them, hence the diplomats. They seem to be pretty calm as far as meeting an extradimensional horse queen.

[mastermenthe]

Yay, caught up! Not sure where things are going next, but i gotta say that this newest Celestia doesnt really seem to have figured out how to hold her cards close. You would think her mother getting offed would induce a faux-mature mindset out of traumatic-paranoia and uncomfotable awareness of her own mortality.

Unless she IS, but covers up her deception with sillyness? Doubt it, i get a Flurry Heart vibe from this newest Celestia.

[TheMajorTechie]

8536053