First of all, I have to say that I’m absolutely relieved to know that we aren’t drifting in space, or the middle of an ocean for that matter. We’re just kinda stuck in a crater-pit thing. Not that that’s gonna do much to the transport capsule, considering as to how this thing is practically a dune buggy stuffed in a metal peanut.
As for the rest? Well, I’m suddenly a brunette now, judging by the locks of hair dangling in front of my eyes. Delmar’s just this lump underneath a pile of our emergency gear, which apparently got scrambled by the landing.
I kinda want to stay here and sleep some more in my seat, but taking into account how I’m currently sideways and facing the portal’s blinding light, I’d might as well get up.
...
...
Uh oh. Um... hrm...
Why can’t I unbuckle myself?! C’mon, horn, get me off of this thing! Why isn’t it working?! Ack!
“HELP!”
I heard Delmar lightly groan from under the pile of stuff.
“HELP!” I screamed again, this time louder.
I reached out with a hoof to-- wait just a freakin’ second.
In front of me wasn’t the light-teal hoof I was used to for my entire life, but... a hand. Complete with fingers. Attached to an arm. Which in turn, is attached to me.
Finally, I looked down over myself, which, surprisingly, I didn’t do earlier. Yup. I’ve got the whole deal. No fluffy patch of blue anywhere. Just me, and the clothes that I apparently now have.
I wonder if that means that Delmar’s a pony?
Gadget, do you read?
I sure do, Ranell. I take that the portal is stable still?
Yup. I’m just checking in on you. The sensors inside the capsule haven’t detected any movement or activity until now, so I just decided to take a look when it began to see some movement.
Hey, Ranell.
What?
Guess what?
...What?
Wait just a moment... there.
WHAT THE CRAP, GADGET. YOU’RE HUMAN?!
Eh. I’ve donned disguises before, so I’m actually kinda used to bipedal walking, at least.
Well, I’ll be sending a probe through the portal just to see if we still need the launcher to send things through the portal. If not, then I guess you can just come back over any time you want.
Sure.
Well, with that out of the way, let’s see just how flexible these hands are when it comes to unbuckling seatbelts in tight places... yup. My tiny eleven year old hands (well, technically less than a day old since portal and all...) are perfectly fine.
Now then. Let’s take a peek at Delmar. Actually, scratch that. I’m gonna turn this thing right-side-up first.
Unit 42A-512 online. Please confirm user identity.
Identity confirmed via DNA analysis. User: Gadget
Gyroscope engaged. Detected abnormal unit positioning. Auto-adjustment in progress...
Nice. Nothing like accidentally throwing yourself against the floor by turning on some sensors. Given how my hair color changed so drastically, I’m frankly surprised that my DNA is still the same at all. Not to mention the fact that I’m apparently a human now.
WAIT...
How would the ponies react to me? Surely, to them, I’d pretty much be closer to some thing from the Everfree than any sentient being, right? Let’s see... gotta lay low, maybe. Oh, if I still had my horn, then maybe I could’ve disguised myself again, but obviously that kinda negates the point...
“Urkhh... Gaadjget? Yooooou awaaaake?”
Oh yeah, Delmar. Judging by his speech, his anesthesia still hasn’t completely worn off yet. I guess I’ll just have to drag his furry bottom out of the capsule then.
Though, without levitation, it’s gonna be considerably harder to get him out.
(Side note: I wonder what my actual given name is. Not to mention my birthday... heck, I don’t even know what day it is in Equestria.)
Welp. I guess if I want to get anywhere soon, I’d better start by dragging Delmar out of thi-- oh yeah. The capsule’s mobile. I can just drive him somewhere.
AAAAaaaalrighty then, let’s see how this thing drives!
Engaging mobility actuators.
Undocking from landing shield...
Successfully undocked. Vehicle is now fully mobile.
Hmm. Smooth. Not like “Oh, that guy’s smooth” kinda smooth though. I mean like as in “the suspension on this thing is amazing”. Like, seriously, if it weren’t for the fact that we just had to land in some unpopulated middle-of-nowhere, then we’d probably already have met some ponies from around.
To be honest, I actually have absolutely no idea where we are. There’s nothing in the show that this could possibly relate to. It’s not quite a desolate wasteland, it’s got sort of the weird magical feel of the Everfree, but... well, there’s no easy way to describe it. It’s just endless rows upon rows of old houses. I’m pretty sure that this place is a ghost town. Though, I can honestly see why, being that this place seems to be so distant from any neighboring civilization. By my guess, everyone probably just left because of the isolation.
Either way, driving around this place, I have a feeling that we should probably stay near the portal for now. It’s not exactly mobile, and who knows what could possibly travel through it back to Earth? So yeah. I’m just gonna park this thing here and send out some SOS messages over the radio until I can figure out where the heck we are.
...
...
...
Alrighty then. This place looks less broken down than the rest of the houses, so I guess we’ll set up camp here.
Also, I just realized that somehow I’m still mentally synced to this thing for logging, so that’s happening, I guess. On top of that, I just realized that the only thing that changed after the whole traveling through a portal ordeal is me and Delmar. Like, nothing else has changed in any way. Could it be a fluke in design? Some strange, looming figure that chooses what happens and what doesn’t? I have no idea.
Either way. Delmar’s starting to stir again, so I’m just gonna send out a generic SOS and see what he’s up to.
USER GADGET has activated function: Distress Signal with the following command switches: Auto (-a), Long-Range (-lr), Radio frequency (-rf).
System has detected a reply to signal. Message:
Thank you for subscribing to cat facts daily.
Your message has been received by Twilight S. of the Equestrian Citizen Safety Initiative (ECSI). Your position has been triangulated, and a team has been sent to your aid. Please remain in your location. Help will arrive shortly.
This message has been auto-generated. Do not reply.
Alert: Unit 42A-512’s radar have detected a high-altitude projectile entering the airspace.
Well, that certainly took a while for them to get here.
Activate anti-aircraft missiles?
...
WAIT, NO!
Missile launch terminated. Object is now within FOV of cameras 1, 4.
Determining object type... object determined to be a helicopter. (Multiple scans across 50,000+ reference images.)
What.
Welp. I’ve certainly got some questions to ask later...
Also, why is my tablet suddenly synced to the shuttle, anyways?
“Hello? Is anybody in the building? We received a distress signal from this location, and we’re here to help.”
Anyways, let’s just get on with this.
“Yeah,” I replied, putting a hand on the doorknob. Though, it does still feel quite awkward.
I opened the door, fully expecting to see two blindingly white pegasi guards or something. Except, these guys weren’t pegasi. Nor do they look like guards in any way. Maybe they’re off-duty? But then, how would they’ve gotten here? I know that there was a flying ob--
“Are you gonna get in the ‘chopper or what?” a second stallion asked, nudging his way through the doorway.
“Well... um...”
The guy who first knocked shooed his partner aside, turning back to me. “Miss?” he began, “Do you understand just how far you are from civilization?”
Honestly, I expected for them to be gawking at the fact that I’m a human or something. Erm... I probably should wake Delmar up before we leave him behind or something...
“Hold on just a sec.” I replied, holding up a finger as I quickly ran further into the house to find Delmar snoozing on a pile of our supplies.
“Old guy?” the second stallion asked, looking over my shoulder at the still-sleeping form of Delmar.
“Yup.”
The stallion shrugged in response. “Let Dusty handle him. He’s got a stretcher if you need it.”
“Blehhhhh... huh?” Delmar groaned, attempting to rub his eye. (And forgetting that one probably shouldn’t shove a hoof into their eye.)
“C’mon, you.” I grunted, heaving the scientist-turned-pony up on his hooves. “Our ride’s here.”
“You got any name, miss?”
“Gadget.” I replied, “No last name, no middle name. Just Gadget.”
“That’s an awfully strange name for a human.” The first pony replied, “Name’s Dusty, by the way.”
We sat in complete and utter silence for a few minutes, before “Dusty” continued the conversation.
“Do you have any family?” He asked from the cockpit, “Surely you’re not related to that old pony, right?”
Hrm. I never actually gave family much thought until now. I guess Delmar’s always kinda been a father figure to me?
I shook my head in response.
“So you’re an orphan?”
A shrug. “I guess so,” I replied. “Though, Delmar here’s kinda been my caretaker for pretty much all of my life.”
Suddenly, Delmar jerked awake. “Wait,” he mumbled, “Where’s the pod? Where are we?”
“Chill, bro.” Dusty’s copilot answered, “Your little metal buggy’s in the hold. It’s amazing that this heli can even lift it at all, let alone fly with it like we are right now.”
Just as before, a strange silence settled in over everyone, even drowning out the deafening sound of the blades slicing through the air as we flew away.
...
...
I just realized that we were rescued by two “Earth Ponies” in a helicopter.
Hmm. Finally we’re landing. I’m still wondering just how far away from civilization the portal appeared. Now that we’re here, the portal should be able to open near the pod, since there’s a tracking beacon inside and all...
Either way, from the looks of it, I’m pretty sure that we’re in Canterlot. Also, it--
“Gadget, you and your pony friend there are gonna have to provide identification for your permission to enter Equestrian society.”
I raised my brow. “What?” I replied, looking at the packet of papers that was now being handed to me.
“Identification, ID. It’s part of a new set of laws that the Queen sent through parliament. Rumor has it that she’s afraid of what the Lunar Republic might do.”
What.
I slowly shook my head, stepping back from the papers. “I--I’m sorry, but we don’t have any identification.”
“No problemo,” the copilot answered for Dusty, “We can just fingerprint you, and for the pony, we can run him through some bureaucratic crap and he’ll be in in no time.”
Dusty facehoofed. “For the last time, that bureaucratic crap is nothing but sitting a pony before the queen and letting her stare them down until they pipe up.”
“Well, either way. Even without proper IDs we can look at, you’re most likely gonna get in without a problem.”
This Equestria is getting stranger and stranger...
“Now, press your finger in the ink. Not too hard, mind you-- yes, just make the print on this sheet... nice and clean. Easy, right?”
Geez, I’m around eleven already. I’m not that young, lady.
“This’ll take a few minutes while we run it through the database for any matching prints. If it doesn’t, then you’ll just go join your friend now that he’s been outed from the system.”
“Outed?” I asked, raising my brow.
“It’s just our way around here to say that there weren’t any matches to him in our systems. He’s getting the stare treatment right now.”
I think that weird is gonna be normalized to me within this week. I guess I’ll just take a nap or something while I’m waiting.
Administrator Prof.D has logged into the system. Continue to root access?
Command entered: vi log_4143
Honestly, after a day or so of being an entirely different species, I think that I’m beginning to get around the idea of using my “horn” to manipulate objects over a long distance. In this case, I’ve remotely entered my old logging and database system that I’ve given to my somewhat-daughterlike figure, Gadget.
Now, where to start? Ah, the physical implications of waking to find yourself in a foreign body. I’ve tripped far too many times to count at this point, and I highly doubt that I’ll ever get used to quadrupedal motion.
As for my current thoughts on the political system of this new world, I have but a single word: strange.
The apparent parliamentary monarchy shows very similar structure to the former British Empire’s method of ruling, but at the same time appears to have a very... foreign way of operation.
Take, for example, the immigration. It seems that this nation doesn’t have very many immigrants entering, as unidentified individuals are met one-on-one with the very leader of the nation itself. I, as I enter this logfile, am personally being watched by the Queen herself, and honestly, I just find the whole ordeal rather strange.
Until next time, I now return control of the device to Gadget.
“Miss... Gadget?”
“Huh?” I mumbled, pushing myself up from the line of chairs I was laying on.
I rubbed my eyes, noticing a mare at the door, holding a clipboard.
“I’d like for you to come with me, please.”
“Um... what for?”
She made a gesture with her hoof. “Just... just come along with me... Zoey.”
...huh? Zoey?
The mare grew mildly frustrated. “We don’t have all day...” she mused, looking back to her clipboard.
Alright then...
“So, you see, your fingerprint matches up with this birth certificate. Does that make sense?”
I nodded slowly, eyeing the bright-eyed baby that I apparently once was.
“Do you know where your parents are?”
I shook my head. Though, she has gotten my interest now.
“Prison.”
“What.” I blurted.
“They’re serving time for providing refuge to a wanted criminal. Would you like to know what the whole ordeal was?”
Once again, I nodded, albeit slower this time.
She pulled a medical slate (or at least, I’m pretty sure that’s what it is) from a drawer, and began punching something in. It didn’t take long, however.
“Ah.” She said, tapping the screen one last time with a hoof. “Michael R. W., your father, hired a notorious mage of the dark arts to get you out of his life. He and your mother were high in the ranks of Canterlot nobility, and some of the only humans to be so, at that.”
“What.”
The mare looked back down at the tablet. Presumably scrolling through whatever article was archived in the records.
“Your parents wanted a male heir to the family, and neither would put up with a female end to the bloodline. Months after you vanished, they were found guilty of murder via dark magic.”
I looked down at my hands. Of which, honestly, I’m still not used to seeing. “But... I’m here right now, alive.” I replied, “How could it possibly be murder?”
“A far-removed descendant of Starswirl was hired by your father to expel you from existence. The stallion was quite well known for taking after his ancestor in the ways of reality manipulation, and to this day, we still have many missing people and ponies that have been traced back to him.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question.”
More scrollies. Yeeeeeeeesh, how much is there?
“Hmm... it appears that you are the only one out of them all that have ever returned, and so everyone, you included, have been presumed dead for years.”
...
So apparently my parents not only disowned me, but according to the existing records, killed me by sending me to Earth. Oh, and on more thing--
“How old am I, anyways?”
“Huh?” The mare asked, mildly startled by the change in subject. “Oh, here, lemme see... as of now, you’re just around eleven and a half.”
“And how many years ago did I disappear?”
“...It says here that you were last seen almost nine years ago.”
...
...
“And when’s my birthday?”
“Let’s see... September third, 1005.”
“And when’s today?”
“July eighth.”
“Year?”
“1017.”
“...”
So obviously, there’s a difference between Earth time and Equestria time, ‘cause I apparently disappeared for long enough to be around eleven on Earth, but at the same time, I’m actually eleven and a half, which means that I apparently disappeared both when I was half a year old and two?
My head hurts from this...
Second Author’s Note:
Can you guess where I got the name “Zoey” from?
Also, yes, I named Gadget/Zoey’s father “Michael Rowe Wayve”, AKA “Mike Rowe Wayve”. Why? Because I’m horrible at names that make sense, so I reuse old ones and make new ones out of puns.
Also, I’m too lazy to come up with an original calendar system for Equestria. I just finished my piano test, so I don’t exactly want to put too much thought into things right now.
Well, seems like someone won something. ‘Cause shortly after me and Delmar left the facility, (which was only a few minutes ago, mind you. Delmar definitely got the stare-down.) a pegasus guard caught up to us and handed me a folder full of bank information.
Why? Well, apparently, according to her, it was “inheritance money” from whatever my biological parents had. Also, child protection services. Though, strangely, they did say that they’re both still alive, so... Idunno. I’m not into the legal things and stuff like that.
Also, apparently at some point or another I signed myself into having Delmar as a legal guardian, so that happened.
Either way, it’s early morning now, I’m hungry, Delmar’s hungry, and neither of us want to have cardboard jerky again. So naturally, we’re gonna find someplace to eat.
And while we’re at it, I guess one of us is gonna have to find a way to earn some money. After all, the money I got isn’t gonna last long, and apparently the household appliance factory that my father owned shut down after he was arrested.
Hrm. Well, it’s definitely a food place, but I’d have to say that personally, it seems much more like someplace you’d eat dinner at, not breakfast. Especially considering how this is a soup place. But meh, it doesn’t really matter, anyways. Anything’s better than having to chew the crap in the pod.
Speaking of which, the actual thing is gonna be shipped to wherever it is that we end up living, so I guess I’ll message Ranell sometime later or something and tell him that we need time to settle down first before any sort of business can start.
Also, I completely forgot to tell anyone that I can open a portal just by sending a message into the pod’s system.
Anyways, enough with the rambling. Let’s see what this “The Soup Can” place has to offer.
*Overly generic doorbell ringing, because I don’t know how to describe it*
“Eh? New customers?” a gruff voice asked from behind the counter. The man it belonged to (and yes, by now I’m aware that there’s apparently humans here along with the ponies,) stepped out from behind the counter drying a pot. “Y’aller lost ‘r somethin’?”
“Nope.” I shook my head, “Just looking for a place to eat. I’m assuming you’re open?”
The guy paused for a moment, probably to stare at the now-obvious “closed” sign hanging in the window. “Eh,” he shrugged, “y’all can eat ‘ere if ya want. I ain’t all that busy anyhow.”
Hm. This place has pretty good chowder.
“How much do I owe you?” I asked, fishing a card from the bank folder.
“Nah, it’s free.” the man replied, “Name’s Stanley, by the way. I ‘eard of ya in the papers his mornin’.”
“Papers?” I asked, raising a brow.
Stanley shrugged. “Says here y’all were found alive after gettin’ tossed out years ago.”
Well, I can certainly say that news spreads rather quickly here.
Not much. We’re trying to find a place to stay for now. Tell the others that we’ll try to start talking about trade a bit later.
Well, the only problem is... The big guys from the government kinda want to start it immediately.
Um...
Like as in, if you don’t get to any higher-ups soon, they’re gonna either shut down the portal permanently, or send some guys after you themselves.
Yeesh. Tell them to have some patience, ‘kay?
Can’t. They kinda barged in and said stuff about turning the whole portal project into a part of the foreign relations stuff. I’m just the in-between for you and them. And maybe also the guy who people keep asking questions about considering how young he is compared to everyone else.
Oh. Um... do you think I should come back for a bit?
If that gives you a chance to clear things up and give yourself some more time, then sure. Just make sure that you leave the pod somewhere out of the way but still accessible. It’s basically a location beacon for where the portal opens.
Yup. Got it.
Welp. Time to find a spot to hide the SUV-sized space-shuttle-pod-tank-thingy that we arrived in.
Gadget, Delmar, you two are needed at the command station for planning purposes.
Huh? You don’t seem like you’re Ranell.
No. Ranell is busy at the moment.
Alrighty then. I’ve been spending a little while getting the pod-beacon into a safe and hidden place in a ditch on the outskirts of the city. I take that we won’t need to send another pod through now that the beacon is set?
According to the boy, no.
Okay. I’m coming through then.
Well, I can certainly say that having a tracking beacon apparently helps a ton with portal stability. Especially considering how there’s not exactly the need for a pod anymore to travel through it.
“Gadget? You’re needed in meeting room 2-B.” a gruff voice said from behind the door.
...
Honestly, I don’t see much of a point anymore in narrating, but eh. I’ll do it anyways. Keeps my mind off of certain things.
Also, Delmar’s taking the whole “Suddenly I’m human again” thing surprisingly well. Though, I probably shouldn’t be too surprised, considering how chill he was even while in freakin’ space.
“Now then,” A man wearing a really formal tuxedo began, “Gadget, we’d like to know on behalf of the country, when will trade begin?”
Um...
“First of all,” I replied in my most ‘mature’ voice possible, “We have yet to find a permanent place to li-- um... housing, to operate from.” I paused for a moment before continuing. “Also, the only time we’ve met with the ruler so far is for this freaky weird immigration service where she just kinda stares at you for an hour or two. Ask Delmar.”
All heads in the room turned to the professor/my somewhat-adoptive-parent, who just nodded awkwardly as he continued flexing his fingers.
The formal tuxedo-guy sighed deeply. “We didn’t fund this project for you to sit around. You know that, right?”
“Yup.” I replied, dropping the ‘mature’ act. That’s actually annoying to me, somehow.
“Good.” he continued, “Since we’ve already gotten this far, I’ll let you have additional time allotted for the task. Shall two weeks be enough to settle?”
Wow. For a guy who looks like he’s a general or something, he’s pretty nice. Two weeks is plenty enough.
Just for the sake of avoiding repetition, I’ll just say here that I repeated myself aloud.
The formal general-tuxedo-guy grunted in approval. “You may leave now.” he continued, “That’s all we needed to discuss for the time being.”
I’m just gonna say that this turned out less awkward/dramatic than I imagined it was going to be. Like, I was thinking that there was just gonna be a full-out declaration of war or something because we were behind schedule.
Either way, Delmar and I are just gonna stay here for a day or two and catch up on things. Maybe pack a few extra stuff for when we return to Equestria.
Now then. We're back in Equestria now. I'm standing here with a backpack filled with camping gear, and Delmar, who apparently forgot that he goes pony when he goes through the portal, is currently faceplanted under a pile of assorted crap.
"Excuse me, miss? Y'all are on private property."
Oh come on.
"Now then, who the heck are ya two, and why 're ya snoopin' 'round mah farm?"
...
I RECOGNIZE THAT VOICE.
"Applejack?" I asked, staring back into the eyes of the (moderately) masked mare.
As per usual, an awkward silence settled over all of us. That tends to happen a lot.
The mare shook her head. "Ah don't know any Applejack." she responded, pulling her bandanna and hat off.
...
...
"What."
"What what?" the mare snapped back, adjusting the worn bow that had been crushed under her hat.
"Where's your sister?" I asked, looking around for a sign of an orange Earth Pony.
"Ah ain't have no sister." she replied, "Just me an' mah brother runnin' the place."
So apparently, in this Equestria, Apple Bloom takes the place of Applejack. Of whom doesn't exist. Maybe.
Reality hopping is weird. Come to think of it, the word "weird" is also pretty weird. I've always got a tendency to spell it out as "wierd", but then I catch myself and correct it. Wierd weird.
Now. Enough with the weirdness of language.
Ha.
Now, back to reality.
I took a step back, taking in the image of an older version of the filly from the show. Sure, she'd clearly grown out of her bow, but while the hat was pretty explainable, the bandanna sure wasn't.
A stallion that I could assume to be Big Mac trodded up beside his sister, whispering something into her ear, all while warily watching us with an eye.
Apple Bloom sighed. "Well," she began, "Ah assume y'all are here lookin' for some work, aren't ya?"
I shrugged. "I was wondering more about that bandanna that you were wearing over your face. At least, at the moment..." I turned to Delmar, who had already dug himself out a while ago. "What about you?"
"Uuuhhhhhhhhhh..."
I turned back to Apple Bloom.
"Ah guess ah can tell ya..." she replied slowly, "But if ya wanna hear, than ya gotta help out."
"Geez," I muttered under my breath as I turned towards Delmar, "She's pretty snappy, huh?"
Okay then. First order of business is to find a place to stay. I could maybe bother Apple Bloom into letting us hang around for a bit in exchange for helping out, but she seems quite a bit crankier than the one in the show.
Or maybe, we could go back to The Soup Can and get ourselves a job or something. It would maybe be enough to make up for the money from the inheritance that'll go into buying an apartment or something...
Or we could just camp out in the pod for a freakin' long time and silently watch everything that happens around us, but then we'd probably get our portal terminated for a lack of progress.
So yeah, probably gonna be best to hike back up to Canterlot and rent an apartment with my inheritance money.
Speaking of which, I just realized that the portal dumped us out in Ponyville, while the pod is hidden away in a run-down alley. So apparently the beacon isn't completely accurate.
Also, on top of that, there's now gonna be just a random portal stuck open next to Sweet Apple Acres. That may or may not be a problem, but I can probably message Ranell to close the thing up and get the tracking beacon to be more accurate.
And now, to address a biggie: We need to somehow manage to get Equestria to want to trade with Earth. Or at least, with people. It'd get a bit awkward if somebody tried to open up trade with wild horses or something.
...
...
Okay. Enough rambling, more walking. Avoid mildly awkward stares, continue lugging large backpack.
Oh yeah. I forgot that there's a train station here. And yet, here I am, standing awkwardly in front of the ticket-pony.
"Well?" He began, "You got any bits?"
I held up a folder with my bank info.
The stallion frowned. "Do you have a card?" he asked, gesturing at my folder.
I shook my head.
"Checks?"
More head shaking.
"Banknotes?"
Sideways head-banging.
"Sorry, miss. I don't think I can help you then." He replied, "Maybe withdraw some bits from the bank or somethin' before you come back."
While Gadget heads off to find a possible place to work, I've personally set off for some house hunting. Throughout the years, I believe the last time I even considered the idea of moving was... Twenty? Twenty-five years?
I honestly don't remember quite well, but with a copy of Gadget's inheritance in hand, I'll likely be spending a few days roaming the streets for a viable place to stay.
As for Gadget, I've already since notified her of what I'm currently doing. I shouldn't take long.
In addition, I have yet to figure out how I'm able to access the neuropathic link from such a long distance.
Huh. So that's where he went. Only took me a trip to the bank to realize that he somehow managed to sneak off without me noticing. Now I kinda have to wait around until he comes back, since he signed himself as my legal guardian.
Anyways, I'm sitting on a stool at Stan's soup place again while Delmar's probably out there freaking about housing prices.
"So," Stanley began, "Ya came back fer some work?"
"Yup." I replied, idly spinning on the spinny-stool at the counter.
"Yer gonna hafta git yerself some paperwork to the bank if ya wanna work 'ere, y'know."
Darnit. Back to the bank. Again.
...
...
Hrm. Even banks in Equestria don't have anything interesting in their magazine piles. At least they've got hot choco--oh. It's coffee. Of course.
Well that was quite convenient. All I had to do was present my ID and prove that Delmar was Delmar, and I was able to withdraw enough money to get what Delmar says should be a nice, spacey condo... or whatever it was that he said that we'll be staying in.
At least it's not a box.
Also, Delmar still seems a bit squeemish from having to let the teller get a clear view of his flank. 'Cause apparently he's got a cutie mark now for whatever reason. I guess that's just another way of ID-ing in Equestria, though honestly, I'm a bit curious on what they'd do if he didn't have a mark.
Well then. When Delmar said that this place was spacey, but I didn't expect it to be this spacey...
...
I guess that's the power of having a massive inheritance. At least, massive while it lasts. I can tell that this place probably took a decent chunk outta that.
I mean, seriously, who in their right mind gives up a perfectly good two-story with a big basement home theater?!
Okay. We've got a place to live, Delmar somehow managed to grab a job at Stan's Soup Can place... or whatever it's called, and we've pretty much settled down now.
Which means that it's time to get to business.
Delmar and I strolled through the bustling streets of Canterlot. There wasn't much particularly going on besides the typical day-to-day business stuff, so it wasn't as if there were massive crowds to push through or anything.
Also, Delmar's gotten back into the habit of tripping over his own hooves for some reason.
As for how we'll get an audience with the Princess Queen, I still don't have much of an idea. Or at least, not yet. I mean, we've still got around a week and a half left before we hit the deadline for opening up trade, and hopefully, that'd be enough time to get things going.
For now though, we've gotta first start talking to some higher-ups and maybe try to work out a way towards Queen Celestia.
...
WAIT A SECOND. Technically, I'm nobility, if you're tracing lineage through my apparently corrupt parents and count up the number of things I'm set to inherit once I "come of age".
All I gotta do is find my aforementioned parents. And I know just where they're probably gonna be.
"HEYO!" I shouted, kicking the door open in the Canterlot Correctional Facility's visitor center, "Can I see my parents?!"
"Gadget!" Delmar cringed, "You're making a scene!"
However, the guard standing by the door I had just burst through didn't seem to care about my antics. All he did was nod and walk off into some side-room office thing.
"Inmate number 6601, Michael Rowe Wayve, please report to the visitor's center."
Well... it's either now or never.
Log 4151: Mister Sir BAD-PARENTING-GUY-WHO-WAS-SOMEHOW-MY-DAD
I stared at the stern man in orange behind the window. Brought shoulders, average build, if not a bit pudgy around the waist, and--
...no. I am not gonna make this weird.
"What do you want?" The man who was apparently my dad grumbled, "Hurry up. I ain't got all the time in the world, y'know."
Awkwardly, I waved my hand.
"Hi... dad?" I squeaked, practically shrinking back into myself. Delmar snorted behind me from the absurdity of the situation.
Michael Rowe Wayve, my dad, raised a brow.
...
WAIT JUST A SECOND.Michael.Rowe.Wayve.
My biological father's shortened name is literally pronounced "Mike Rowe Wayve", or, when said out loud, Microwave. No wonder why he seems so crabby. ANYWAYS...
"I-I'm your daughter, Gadg--I mean, Zoey." I stammered on, "I... came back."
"You're supposed to be dead." my dad snapped back, "You destroyed my reputation, my business. You destroyed my life."
Alright, old man, droppin' the act right now.
"I've already heard enough." I deadpanned back, "You hired some dangerous mage to banish me to wherever, then you and mom were booted into this place because apparently, you guys thought it was a good idea to let the guy stick around."
"How--"
I facepalmed. "I read the news, dummy."
My dad let out a long, drawn-out sigh of what sounded like disgust.
"Ten years." He groaned angrily, "Ten years in this dump with the plebians, and my brat of a daughter returns to mock me."
I frowned. "Brat?" I repeated after him, "You really thought that your child genius of a daughter, raised in a laboratory in an entirely different realm of reality, is a brat?"
Mike froze, his internal rage quickly covered by what I'd have to say is the strangest mix of both anger and confusion that I've ever seen. What followed immediately after was an equally awkward process of eyebrow gymnastics as he tried to process what I had just said.
Finally, he rubbed his forehead with a hand, scooting his seat closer towards the window.
"So." He began, "If you say that you are who you really are, Miss-Child-Prodigy, then let's hear you tell some things about yourself."
I smirked. "If that's the game we'll play, then why not?" I said slyly, pulling off my backpack-that's-totally-not-still-filled-with-camping-stuff.
I unzipped the bag, pulling out a manila envelope. Delmar, who had been watching the entire time, suddenly out burst between me and the envelope, dropping it on the floor.
"Gadget!" he whispered, "You know this information is classified!"
I rolled my eyes. "Fine then." I said in return, stuffing the envelope back into the confines of my bag. Instead, I pulled out my tablet.
"What..." my dad began, "What is that? Some sort of summoning device?"
Welp. This Equestria has helicopters, but apparently it doesn't quite have up-to-date tech compared to Earth. Yet.
"This is a tablet that--" I motioned towards Delmar beside me, "--Professor Delmar gave me when I was younger. It used to be an entertainment device at first, but it's become quite a bit more than just that these days."
I looked to Delmar, who, surprisingly, was vigorously shaking his head, mouthing, "No" over and over. I mean, can't the guy give me a break for once? I'm just showing my long-lost parents some of my... top... secret... technology... to... oh.
"Intriguing." Mike began, leaning closer to the glass, "Would you care to tell me about this 'tablet' and its abilities?"
"Um..." I replied, "I really don't think that I shoul--"
"I'm sincerely sorry, sir." Delmar cut in, "But Gadget--Zoey and I must leave now, am I right, kid?"
Between the suddenness of Delmar plopping me onto his back and literally pony-back-riding me out of the place, and the fact that I had just met the guy who once tried to kill me, I'd have to say that I'm pretty much as confused as I've ever been. I mean, what did I even do?
Well, I guess that was a pretty pointless meeting. All my "dad" really did was insult me a couple times, and then suddenly get overly interested in the fact that I had accidentally told him about some Earth tech. Hopefully, he doesn't have any out-of-prison goons to send after me.
Now then, back to the entire point of being in Equestria: trade relations. After asking around as to what was the best way to get a private audience with the Queen, of whom I assume is Celestia, they said that all we really had to do was find her.
It's not because she's always in hiding, but because outside of times when she's holding day court, she's usually just out and around in disguise. Apparently.
Either that, or schedule an appointment in advance, which, according to some ponies we asked, sometimes takes months to occur. So, I guess that's pretty much out of the question.
And that brings me back to the point of this log: Now what?
Hey, Gadget. Long time no talk. How's the mission going?
Not that well. We've just been in this cycle of discovering something groundbreaking, then realizing that it likely won't help in any way. Like, I found out that my biological father was a high-up noble guy before he was arrested, but when I went to see him in prison, all he did was--
Wait, you found your biological father? Why was he arrested?
For booting me to Earth because he wanted a son.
...
Yeah, stupid, right?
Wow.
Welp. Seems like Delmar needs to go to work now. He grabbed a position at this soup-café thing.
Any progress as far as trying to get trade going? You've got around ten days left before they send in some guys.
What? I thought they were gonna close the portal or something.
Nah. That'd be a waste of money to trap you here. They want trade, so they're probably gonna send people in to help you. Either that, or replace you.
Well freakin' geez, tell whoever it is who said that to chill.
Delmar idly whistled as he dried some dishes in The Soup Can, Stanley flitting between the tables with a rag. Most of the customers had already left, and I was pretty much left in charge of counting stocks in the storeroom to see if we needed to order anything for tomorrow.
Though, the looming thought of going back to Earth when there's still so much to see in Equestria kinda put me in the dumps. Like, can't they just let us stay here and treat it like we immigrated or something? 'Cause technically, Delmar and I are now dual-citizens. And on top of that, having strange ponies decked out with seemingly alien gear would probably freak others out around here, especially if they just straight-up ask to see some form of leader figure or something.
"Gadget!" Stanley called from behind a seating booth, "Whaddo we need ta get? I know 'ere low on somethin' today!"
"...Um..." I began, looking over the various boxes. My eyes landed on a shriveled soda container. "Looks like we're out of Fizz-O-Cool."
Stanley paused for a moment, probably writing that down somewhere. "Anythin' else?" he continued.
"Nope!" I replied. And seriously, that storeroom has a ton more boxes than you'd think it could hold.
Though, I probably shouldn't be putting much thought into that. Gotta focus on trying to get trade going and all...
"Hey Stan!" I shouted, emerging from the storeroom, "Any idea where the Queen is tomorrow?"
Stanley shrugged. "Last I 'eard was earlier today. Ah tink there was somma them pegasi durin' lunch saying stuff about a visit to Cloudsdall or somethin'. Ah don't remember completely."
Cloudsdall... Cloudsdale.
Bingo.
Log 4153: Sky Taxies, taxies in the sky, realm of the pegasi and the clouds, and I probably shouldn't start rambling in the log title.
Now then. Next destination, Cloudsdale. The only problem? Neither of us are pegasi. And neither of us even know how to get a chariot ride or whatever up to the place.
Though based entirely off of how we were found by a freakin' helicopter before, I'm pretty sure that chariots here are just as ancient as they were on Earth.
So... I guess we'll have to figure out a way to scrape together enough money for a plane or something. Maybe our own helicopter, even.
...This would've been so much easier if I could still teleport.
Anyways, I guess if we're gonna be able to get up to Cloudsdale anytime soon, we'd probably better start getting some cash on hand. I mean, sure, we've still got my stash-slash-inheritance, but that probably won't last very long in the first place, so it'd probably be better to keep it safe for now instead of blowing it all on a private plane or whatever.
Which means that along with Delmar working for Stan, I'll probably have to find work to, but given that I'm a minor, and based off of my existing knowledge of the workplace regulations, I'll probably not be allowed to work anyways... at least, for longer than a few hours like I currently do with Delmar when things get busy. Either way, it probably wouldn't hurt to take a walk along the streets just to see the options.
Wait.
Is that a flying taxi?
...
...
Wat.
"Delmar!" I burst as I shot into the Soup Can, "There's freakin' SKY TAXIES here!"
Except Delmar was in the backroom doing some dishes, and quite a few people and ponies were now staring at me. Including Stanley himself.
Stan sighed slowly, and motioned for me to head into the back.
"Gadget--Zoey, whichever ya prefer..." Stanley began calmly, "Next time, maybe wait a sec 'er two before ya start shoutin' up the place, eh?"
I nodded. Stan grunted in approval, and left.
I turned in the direction of Delmar, who was... apparently practicing levitation at the moment using paper cups.
"Delmar!" I said quietly, "There's a taxi service that looks like it might be able to get us to Cloudsdale!"
Delmar raised a brow, setting the cups down messily. "Is that so?" He began, "How much does it cost?"
I shrugged. "Idunno, but it seems like they work kinda like miniature blimps, based off of what I saw."
"Well, alright then," Delmar agreed, "Once we're done for the day, we'll see what we'll do about that."
Finally. Almost a full day of just sitting in the back reading random textbooks while Delmar and Stanley worked, and it's finally time to close up shop for the day. Stan already agreed to take the brunt of the work so that we could go off and continue our mission, so with a good portion of Delmar's wage for the day, we went off to catch ourselves a Sky Taxi... thing.
And sheesh, it'd probably be near-impossible to earn a decent living if you had to take one of these to and from a restaurant job like Delmar's every day.
But then again, based on the fact that every destination except Cloudsdale has a fixed rate, I'm guessing that Cloudsdale just happens to be floating somewhere far away from Canterlot today.
It's pretty interesting to watch how this thing runs from the inside. It's not at all like a normal taxi, given how as I've said before, it's practically a miniature blimp of sorts.
As for the Earth Pony driving the whole thing, he didn't question anything about a human girl and a middle-aged scientist guy turned horse-pony-thing entering the vehicle.
Hrm. Cloudsdale isn't quite all that cloudy, if you ask me. From what I can tell, it's seems more like some sort of aerogel. Meh, that's not the point of coming here at the moment. What we came here for was to find Celestia.
And how do we do it if we only know that Celestia was here at all? Easy. We talk to strangers! Question the populace! And that's exactly what we did.
"Excuse me, sir," Delmar began, turning towards a random stallion passing by, have you by any chance seen Celestia anywhere?"
The stallion nodded silently, and pointed a hoof towards what I can only assume to be Rainbow Dash's house, based off of its structural similarity to the one depicted in the show.
So apparently, we'll be seeing Celestia and Rainbow Dash!
I knocked lightly on the door.
"Hello?" I shouted, knocking a little harder, "Anybody home?"
From deep inside the house, I heard hoofsteps approaching the door.
"Coming!" a mare called in return to my knocking, pausing at the door. Opening it, she froze up entirely.
Quickly, she recovered from the mild shock of seeing a human and a non-pegasus pony on her doorstep, quickly muttering under her breath, "Oh... oh my... First the queen herself visits us, and--..."
"It's alright," I cut in, "you just barely said something about Celestia stopping by, right?"
"Gadget!" Delmar whispered as he nudged me in the arm, "Manners!"
I made a face at him.
"Um... right. Now, as I was saying," I continued, "did you see Celestia anytime recently?"
Deep down, I'm just gonna hope that she says that Celestia's right inside or something. Now that I think of it, who is this mare, anyways? I recall seeing a pony like her in the show somewhere, but I don't completely remember who she is... something to do with Rainbow Da-- oh. She said something.
And just as fate would have it, my thoughts were confirmed as I heard what's clearly Rainbow Dash's voice echoing through the house as she ran towards the door.
"Mooom!" she shouted, "Who is it? Is it Fluttershy?"
Oh yeah. The mare I've been talking to is Rainbow Dash's mom. Also, Rainbow Da--HOLY MOTHER OF CRAPNUGGETS RAINBOW DASH HAS A MISSING WING! Okay, stop staring, stop staring, calm. Down. Okay.
"Um." I mumbled as I turned back towards Rainbow Dash's mom, "Could you repeat that again?"
Letting out what I assumed was either a light sigh or a very light snort of annoyance, the mare repeated herself. Or at least, reiterated what she said earlier in a much more agitated voice.
"Celestia visited us earlier," she began with a huff, "but I'm not gonna tell you any more until I know what you're doing on my doorstep."
If she wants to know, I guess it wouldn't hurt to spread the word a bit.
"Well," I began, "For starters, we've been trying to find her for the past few days in hopes of maybe opening some sort of trade agreement with our home."
There. Sounded good enough in my head, and I'm pretty sure that came out fine. Except for maybe a tiny voice crack that only I probably noticed. Geez, I'm gonna be hitting those teen years soon, aren't I?
A gust of wind blew through my hair as Rainbow Dash's mom... wait a minute. Wind. Windy. Urgh, this entire time, and I forget a name as simple as Windy Whistles.
Now then, back to my rambling self-narration that is this logfile.
Windy Whistles raised a brow after hearing what I had to say. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised by that reaction. Heck, if I was contacted by a random pair of strangers saying that they were seeking my leader for suspicious reasons, I'd probably be doing some eyebrow acrobatics too.
...
...
I really need to stop myself from being sidetracked so easily by my own thoughts. ANYWAYS...
I turned towards Rainbow Dash. "You're Rainbow Dash, right?" I asked, "Element of Loyalty? Wonderbolt? Savior of Equestria alongside your friends?"
Hopefully all of the abo-- wait. Oh yeah. This isn't the same Equestria from the show. This is the place I come from, and that means that the simple act of havin--no. No more mental distractions.
"I..." Rainbow began in a wavering voice, "I'm none of those..." she continued, "I honestly don't know what I am anymore..."
...Ouch, I might've hit a bit of her soul there, for all I know.
"Rainbow!" her mom suddenly snapped, "Don't put yourself down like that! You're a wonderful young mare, crippled wings or not!"
Yeah. About that. One question: HOW?! But once again, no sidetracking unless I want to get kicked back to Earth and replaced or whatever.
"Helloooo?" I called, waving a hand as Rainbow hugged her mom, "Like I said, do you have any idea where Celestia might've gone? Or is she still here?"
Quietly clearing her throat, Windy Whistles turned back towards me. "No," she said calmly, "Celestia was here a few hours ago to visit Dashie here, but she left within minutes of entering."
Surprisingly, Rainbow Dash, who was already back to the old attitude I recognize from the show, piped up after her mom.
"And she gave me a present, too!" she squealed, unfurling her wings to show me the prosthetic that sat in place of one of her aforementioned wings. Though, I kinda already spotted it earlier.
Either way, I raised a made a face at Rainbow Dash's antics. Turning towards Delmar, I quietly told him to introduce himself. That is, after I got his attention by elbowing him lightly. After all, it'd probably be a bit more natural for a pony to speak to another pony, even if one of them is actually a disgraced scientist from another universe.
Delmar nodded after I hearing my instructions, and took a step forward. "Allow me to introduce myself," he began in his manly manager guy voice, "I am Professor Delmar, Macrophysicist, Theoretical Physicist, and Astronomer."
AHEM. You're missing a couple things, old guy.
I lightly punched him on the back to hint him onto what he was missing.
Delmar winced a bit from the unexpected blow. "And as of late, Unprofessional Chemist and Restaurant Dishwasher."
Meh. I was going for drunkard who jeopardized my own well being entirely on accident, but close enough. I guess.
"So," I began, "back to the topic. Celestia isn't here anymore, right?"
Rainbow Dash and her mom nodded at the same time, though Rainbow Dash seemed to be watching me silently as she did so. From what I'm assuming, she probably wants to hear more about the Rainbow Dash from the show. I guess all Rainbow Dashes are kinda egostatistical... maybe? Either way, let's just let her have it if that's what she wants.
"As for Rainbow Dash," I continued making eye contact with the mare, "in this universe, from what I've taken after hearing your breakdown earlier, you are not the Element of Loyalty, nor have you ever performed a sonic rainboom..." I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. "...and I take that you haven't ever met any of the ponies that I will now list, right?"
Okay, memory, don't drop names again like you did with her mom. "Let's see..." I began, "there's Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie..." I turned entirely towards 'Dash. "And of course, there's you as well, but-- GAH!"
I was suddenly knocked back as a teary-eyed Rainbow Dash tackled me.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" she screamed in my face, "IT WAS A DREAM, WASN'T IT?! A DREAM!"
Golly-geez, girl, calm. The crap.Down.
I grunted as I tried to free myself from being pinned by Rainbow Dash, which, honestly, was probably the last thing that past-me would've expected from going through the portal.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" Rainbow's mom cried out as she ran over to help pull me out, "Rainbow's been a bit... compulsive at times."
I smirked. Of course she's compulsive.
"I know." I smoothly... er... not-so-smoothly?
"Now then," I continued, "could you maybe at least point in the direction you last saw Celestia heading?"
Windy Whistles shook her head. "She wouldn't say... None of us know."
"Welp." I exclaimed, turning to Delmar, "I guess we failed."
"Actually," the mare continued, "If you really insist on knowing where she's heading... when she left, I saw her heading back down to the ground."
She pointed a hoof towards the not-so-distant outline of a small town. "And as of now, Cloudsdale is floating quite close to Ponyville."
"Thanks!" I shouted happily. Delmar and I turned to leave, but I paused for a moment.
This world's Rainbow Dash never flew.
At least, I'm pretty sure she didn't, judging by the prosthetic wing that she mentioned that she was gifted, but... meh, I'd might as well give her something as well.
And what better than a copy of the show's entire episodic lineup?!
I turned back towards Rainbow Dash, walking slowly with the disc.
"Keep it," I said calmly, smiling as I placed it in 'Dash's hoof, "If you really think your dream was real."
And with that, Delmar and I turned to leave... or at least, catch another Sky Taxi whenever one of those come around. As for the disc, it's got it's own protective coating on it, so I'm not too worried about it getting scratched or shattered. Especially considering how the bare disc has been sitting sandwiched between piles of camping gear in my backpack that I should probably dump at home or something...
Either way, enough with the rambling. We've got a new destination.
Another place to go, another pile of bits from us for whatever company it is that runs the Sky-Taxi fleet. Also, yes, turns out that the tiny airship taxies are literally branded as "Sky-Taxi". Reeeaaaal original there.
Also, I may or may not have forgotten about the fact that Rainbow Dash has absolutely no way to actually play the disc. I guess I can give her a portable player or something if we ever meet again. It's not like I have a shortage of them when I can just go back through the portal to get another.
ANYWAYS...
Welp. Here's Ponyville. Again. The place we were dumped in even though our pod and beacon are still in our garage in our new house in Canterlot. And boy, does this place look different from the show's Ponyville.
Like, seriously. It's faaar from a small, cozy village. From the looks of it, it's more along the lines of a minor city, complete with manufacturing and office buildings smack in the middle. It's kinda weird how I didn't notice that before when we first arrived.
Obviously, being so different from the show's Ponyville, there's not exactly much anything that I can recognize, let alone name. The only exception? Even though it seems to mostly be a manufacturing facility, I still see the dusty road I met Apple Bloom and Big Mac on when we exited the portal. And from the looks of it, said road leads to the actual plantation that Sweet Apple Acres is supposedly known for.
Now then. As to actually finding Celestia... I guess we'll just ask around again, I guess?
"Excuse me?" I asked, tapping a nearby pony on the shoulder, "Have you seen Celestia anywhere recently?"
The mare shook her head, and left without a word.
Whew. We've pretty much gone through the entire town, save for Sweet Apple Acres, and nobody has seen their Princess... er, Queen anywhere. I wasn't expecting that Celestia would be at Apple Bloom's place, given that the town hall is still pretty much smack in the middle of the city, but... I guess she wanted cider or something?
Me and Delmar... erm, Delmar and I, continued on our way towards Sweet Apple Acres. Or at least, this Equestria's equivalent to it, which means "Apple Family Manufacturing and Bottling, LTD."
I'm still gonna call it "Sweet Apple Acres", though. It sounds much better than some boring old corporate name.
"Hello?" I shouted, cupping my hands to my mouth, "Apple Bloom? Big Mac? We came back to ask you some questions!"
We didn't ever hear a reply, so we continued on into the small (compared to the show's Sweet Apple Acres) forest of various apple trees.
The funny thing about all this is how incredibly quiet Delmar's been all this time. Ever since we left Cloudsdale, he's just kinda shut himself into his own little field of thought, and I've noticed that he's been paying a lot more attention to his surroundings. I'm not sure if it was because of us discovering that Cloudsdale seems to be made of one of the lightest solids to exist, or if it's simply because he's tired. After all, we have kinda been all over the place for the past day or so.
Not to mention that it's kinda getting dark now.
but never mind the dark, I'm a big girl now, and that means I've got responsibilities to handle.
...
...
WHAT WAS THAT RUSTLING NOISE?!
I turned to Delmar, who was currently staring at a laminated paper hastily nailed to a tree depicting to rather familiar con-artist ponies from the show.
Seems like Flim and Flam are pretty much the same in this universe. Not that I'm surprised or--
Where am I? It definitely doesn't feel like I'm laying on soft grass under some apple trees. And it certainly doesn't smell like it, either.
I wonder how long I've been out?
Finally, I opened my eyes, expecting to maybe see the night sky or something based on how dark it seemed. Nope. I was faaaaar from that. From the looks of it, this is more of a dungeon, if anyth--...
Oh. I'm in a dungeon. Oh hey, Delmar's here, too. I wonder what we're in for?
I mean, sure, it might have something to do with that flyer with the Flim-Flam bros on them and a listed reward, but that wouldn't be it, right?
Right?
Nope. This has everything to do with that flyer.
Like as in, Delmar was just taken in for questioning about that exact thing, judging by what the guard said when he opened the door.
I guess I'll just sit here and wait... and I'm definitely not gonna be touching the gruel that was slid under the door.
"Gadget!" Delmar stated flatly as he was ushered back into the dungeon, "Your turn."
Welp. Here goes nothing.
Wait...
"What were you asked?" I began, standing up from my little corner of loneliness.
"Flim-Flam stuff." he replied, "Nothing else."
I guess that shouldn't be too hard to answer then. Anyways, it's my turn for interrogation again.
Boy, does history repeat itself or what?!
And no, I'm not being interrogated this time by some science dude who would later become my friend and help me build a portal. I'm just saying that I'm being interrogated pointlessly again.
So, from the looks of it, I'm being interrogated by some "Sunny Skies" unicorn mare with what's probably one of the most unamused faces I've ever seen.
"Okay," she began, setting down her clipboard, "Your friend back there, "Professor" Delmar, claims to have had nothing to do with the Flim-Flam Corporation. Now, let me ask you the same thing; are you affiliated in any way with the Flim-Flam Corporation?
"No?" I responded quietly, "Why do you suspect us of any of this?"
Sunny Skies sighed. "I saw you two staring at the flyer earlier today, and given the recent reports of ponies and people emerging out of nowhere onto land owned by the Apple Family, I became suspicious, and followed you and your friend."
I frowned. "What gave you the idea to knock us out and drag us into this dump?"
Sunny Skies shrugged. "I must've gotten into the heat of the moment. I'm still pretty new at this."
"Isn't there someone else who could do it better then? We're kinda trying to find Celestia."
For a moment, I saw Sunny flinch. "Well..." she began, "My mother used to be the one who would go out on missions, and up until a few years ago before she died, I rarely every paid attention to her lessons."
Okaaaay... this is getting a bit weird now.
"And?" I continued, "Why did you suspect us aside from pure suspicion?"
"I--I was originally supposed to do a quick inspection of the site when I arrived, but I saw you and Delmar walking into the trees, and one thing led to another, so I--"
"Woah, woah..." I said calmly, cutting her off, "From what you're saying, and from what I can tell right now as well as how you mentioned Delmar multiple times without ever actually asking his name, I'm guessing that you're Celestia?"
Sunny Skies sulked, dropping her disguise with a flash of her horn. "Yeah," she mumbled, "I'm still far too young for these duties."
...
...
"How old are you?" I suddenly asked, catching Celestia off guard.
"Seventeen, going on eighteen soon."
Aaaaaaaand now I know why she said she's too young for this.
"So," I continued, "Your mother was Celestia, and same goes for her mother, her mother's mother, and so on all the way down the line?"
Sunny Skies--Celestia nodded nervously. I'm pretty sure that at this point, I'm the one doing the interrogating.
"How did your mom die when you're at such a young age?" I asked curiously, looking into the (Alicorn?)'s eyes.
Not that she's visibly not an alicorn. It's just that I never suspected that alicorns were so different from the show's representation of them...
"Warring factions." Celestia replied, "A few years ago, my mother left without a word to fend off an invading force somewhere along the border. All I know is that a few days later, I ended up being coronated as the new Queen."
"...Ouch..." I mumbled, "So, about the method that you used for Delmar getting into Equestria..." I continued, changing the topic.
"Oh, that?" Celestia replied, "I already knew that there was a ton of paperwork to handle when it came to immigration, so I thought that it would be a good idea to just... y'know, stare at them until they tell me about themselves. Equestria doesn't really seem to get very many immigrants, anyways."
"So you replaced the paperwork with staring." I deadpanned.
"Yes?" Celestia replied meekly, "I mean, the biggest threat that I've encountered so far is the Flim-Flam investigation."
"But what about the Lunar Republic?" I asked, "I thought you passed those new ID laws to protect Equestria from attack?"
"Lunar Republic?" Celestia mumbled, furrowing her brow, "I... I don't know really anything about them besides that they were allied with the invaders that killed my mom."
I paused for a moment to let it sink in.
"So you didn't pass the laws to prevent invasion."
"No," Celestia replied, "I already said that I did it to get rid of the horrid piles of paperwork."
...
...
...
OH WAIT. WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR CELESTIA ALL THIS TIME, AND I'M SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!
...
...
"Okay..." I finally began, breaking the silence, "So what if I told you that I've been living in another universe for the past eleven or so years?"
"Another universe?" She began, "I've heard of some who've been banished before, but I don't think I've ever met anybody..."
I stood up and bowed comedically. "Well, now you have." I exclaimed.
"Wait..." Celestia continued as she leaned closer towards me, "You're that girl that was recently found after being tossed into a different universe by that dark magic guy, aren't you?"
"Yup."
"So, you're name's not actually Gadget then."
"Yup."
"Isn't it Chloe? Um... Gl--"
"Zoey." I stated flatly, the name still sounding weird in my mouth, "Zoey Wayve, daughter of the currently-imprisoned Michael Rowe Wayve."
"..."
Celestia broke out in laughter shortly after my dad's name processed in her mind.
"YOUR FATHER..." she howled, "IS MICROWAVE?! HA!"
I shrugged. "Hey, it's not like he's really anything more than the guy who gave me my genes and then kicked me out of existence."
"Fair enough," Celestia said, recomposing herself, "So... what's it like over there?"
"Over where?" I asked in return.
Celestia made a motion with her hooves. "Y'know," she began, "the other place... the place you've been living in before you came back?"
Ohhhhhhh. She's talking about Earth.
"Well, first of all," I started, "Humans are practically the only sapient beings, outside of some extremely complicated artificial intelligence programs."
Celestia nodded, pulling out a notepad I can only assume was meant for taking notes during the supposed interrogation earlier.
"Continue?"
"Apparently, upon arriving on Earth, I was turned into a unicorn filly with a yellowish-blonde mane and blue fur."
Pausing, Celestia looked up to face me. "And what's Earth?" she asked curiously.
Whoops. Forgot about that.
"Um..." I continued, "So, Earth is a rocky planet in the third position away from our sun, comprising mostly of silicate compounds and an Iron-Nickel core, with an atmosph--"
"No, no..." Celestia pouted, "I mean, what's it like?"
...
oh.
"For starters," I began, "Since humans aren't exactly... um, magical creatures, there's a lot more technology to go around, and most of the population these days are settled in massive cities along rivers and shorelines."
I stopped talking for a bit to let Celestia write it down. No doubt that it's gonna be for reference later if she wants to trade anything. For a few moments, all I could hear was the scribbling of pen on paper. And a few times where the aforementioned paper was torn on accident when Celestia forgot that she wasn't using a pencil and tried to erase the pen mark using the nonexistant eraser on the back of the thing, and--
"Ahem?"
...
"Oh." I said, snapping back to reality, "Uh, what did you just say?"
Celestia paused for a moment. "I-I was asking about your experience as a pony there, since you would kinda be the only one able to use magic?"
I shrugged. "Well, I know that it definitely caught the attention of Delmar back there. He kinda... tased me and took me into his lab early on. Though, to be fair, I think I remember that I might've been a bit of a jerk to him to warrant that.
"So..." Celestia began, "Basically?"
"I've pretty much been living in a scientific laboratory for almost my entire life."
"Oh." Celestia replied flatly. "Okay then."
More scribbling on the notepad.
Finally, Celestia stood up and motioned for the door. Though, I noticed that she followed me through.
"Anything else?" I began, looking over my shoulder.
Celestia's eyes darted around the room for a moment, before setting back on me. "Do you think you could show me what Earth's like?" she whispered, "You said that there's a lot of technology, and honestly, I think that that may be one of the things that Equestria's a bit lacking in at the moment."
...
Welp. That definitely just reminded me that I was supposed to be doing trade talks instead of a lecture about my life on Earth. Either way, I guess it's a win-win for now?
Building the next iteration of the portal. We've already sent some guys through to test it, and from the looks of it, it no longer changes your physical makeup when you pass through!
Um... great?
Why the hesitation, Gadget?
Do you by any chance still have the old portal?
No. Why would we? We used it as the base for the third model's prototype.
Maybe at least put some sort of toggle on it to let it continue to work like it did before?
Why?
Oh, I don't know, maybe a certain duo are still species swapped? I do still prefer being a tiny horse, y'know. And no doubt Delmar probably misses hands.
...Oh. Oh yeah.
Lemme guess, you and the entire team forgot entirely about the fact that we're both here in Equestria?
...Maybe.
Well then. Maybe just disable the new features of the portal or something until we get back through. Or at least use the old portal's blueprints to build a second portal or something.
We don't exactly... uh, have the budget for either of those options at the moment...
Oh.
So, how's trade talks going?
Celestia and I have been talking for a bit. She wants to see Earth for herself.
Well that's good. When's she coming over?
Probably by tomorrow or something. Idunno.
Ok. Well, sorry that you're kinda stuck as a human, I guess... I'll see what I can do when I have the time.
Welp. I guess I'll be stuck as a human forever then. Or at least, until the money granted to us after trade starts up starts flowing in. Either way, I'm a bit irked by the fact that I can't use my powers now, though Delmar seems perfectly fine with the idea of being able to levitate objects at will. Though, the last time he tried to teleport earlier ended up with him getting a massive migrane.
Either way, we've led Celestia back to the house that Delmar bought us, where our pod is currently in storage in the garage that the place apparently has. All it's really gonna take to get back is to power the thing on and make sure the beacon is working properly, and then we're pretty much set to go.
I turned to Celestia, who, at the moment, seemed a bit more interested in the garage's bare walls than me and Delmar doing a buncha sciency stuff like flicking switches and pushing buttons on the console inside the pod.
...
...
Unit 42A-512 online. Please confirm user identity.
Okay, just gotta spit into the funnel... or drop a hair in, or something... whatever, I'ma spit.
Identity confirmed via DNA analysis. User: Gadget
...
Wait. The portal was already open if Ranell really did send some peeps over during the testing for the new portal. Eh. I'm logged into the system now, so I kinda overrode whatever commands he entered anyways. And it's not like I need to--
"Gadget!" Delmar said, snapping me from my rambling, "The portal. Is it online yet?"
I nodded. "Yeah," I replied, "It's kinda been on this entire time."
Delmar stepped back out of the pod, presumably to join Celestia in admiring the ceiling or whatever it is they're looking at at the moment.
I should probably check the batteries to make sure this thing isn't gonna lose power halfway through the transport.
...
...
...
Power levels adequate-- 67% capacity.
I should probably bring this thing outside to charge via solar. Or maybe...
"Hey Celestia," I called, sticking my head from the pod's door, "Can you make some bright lights and shine them on those blueish panels there?"
Celestia looked back in confusion, until I pointed a finger at the aforementioned solar panels.
"Oh." she murmured, "O-okay. You might want to stand back though. It's gonna get pretty hot for a moment."
Suddenly, the lights in the garage dimmed for a moment, as Celestia began to apparently charge herself up for whatever she was about to cast...
...And just a blinding flash of light and a fiery heat wave later, and the battery is now registering a charging source.
...
...Aaaaaand it's no longer charging now that Celly's done with that spell.
"Did it work?" Celestia shouted from outside the pod.
I shook my head, grabbing a fire extinguisher to put out the now-flaming pieces of drywall that were knocked loose by Celestia's spell.
Meh. I'll probably just grab a new battery before we get back.
At least we don't need to use the pod anymore for travelling since it's carrying the beacon to open the portal. Though, it doesn't seem to be very accurate in terms of pinpointing the portal location if it's opened from Ranell's side of the portal. But then again, so far it's been pretty accurate if it's opening on my side.
Anyways. Enough with the rambling.
I turned to Celestia, motioning to the brightly glowing portal.
"Princesses first." I smirked, standing beside the portal.
Celestia paused for a moment after hearing that.
"Um..." she began, turning to face me as she prodded the portal's horizon with a hoof, "I haven't been a princess for a while now..."
Oh yeah. She's Queen now.
I shrugged it off. "Sorry, it's a bit of a habit."
Celestia gave me a final strange look before slipping through the portal.
Hey Ranell, heads up, you've got a Queen coming your way!
Yup. Our systems are showing a disturbance in the portal that's normally associated with an object passing through. We've already been anticipating this since your last log, so I've already assembled a diplomatic team to greet her.
Yeah, yeah. Here I come!
"Heads up!"
Ranell turned to face the portal just in time for me to collide in a flurry of oversized sweaty labcoats.
...Which definitely didn't turn out weird... yeah. Definitely.
Delmar arrived shortly after as we began introductions, quietly faceplanting in front of the portal as he soon realized he was still equine.
I'm gonna end this log here. I kinda have to explain what's going on to Ranell and the diplomat guys.
Alright, alright, so I might've cut off the last log a bit short, but seriously, listening to people blab on about their names and their supposed "family heritage" to each other gets boring. Especially so when it's Celestia talking about her mother, her mother's mother, her mother's mother's mother, and her mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's whatever. Sheesh, and she said that she didn't listen to her mom, and yet she still knows enough to fill up a good handful of hours just talking away.
Either way, it was either that or get our funding for the portal project pulled completely for a lack of return investment. I guess it's a win-win???
"--And so that's pretty much as far as I can remember." Celestia finally ended.
A short while of clapping later, and Celestia was officially done with her history lesson on her family bloodline. No word yet on Equestria itself though.
Though, there is a bit of something strange that I've noticed while she was going on with her speech... each and every tier of her family's ancestry carries the name "Celestia", and it's apparently been going on for so long at this point that adding numbers afterwards to indicate who came first has pretty much been abandoned in all but the most official documents. And history books.
And it seems like the diplomat guys that were brought in are pretty interested in learning more about how Equestria isn't particularly a patriarchy or matriarchy. Huh. I never really noticed that myself until they asked about it. Though, maybe a certain supposed father figure should've gotten it in their head that a male heir was pointless...
Honestly though, if you ask me, if you take into consideration just how long Celestia's family dynasty has been ruling, I'm pretty sure that Equestria probably leans a bit closer to a matriarchy in the long run.
But enough with the debate. Celestia wants to see the world.
Have I ever told you how comfy tour buses are?
I mean, sure, it's a bit bulkier given how the entire thing is fully armored and bulletproof because important peeps are important and all, but still. They've even got their own bathrooms!
...
Actually, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure that Hagen's van-bus-thing is actually pretty similar to this. Just less fancy, less padding, and not quite as indestructible.
Eh, a ride's a ride.
I turned to Celestia, who was currently pressing her face against the window.
"Well," I began, "Anything you see that's interesting?"
Celestia nodded. "Yeah, definitely. Equestria may have its own vehicles and stuff, but I've never seen anything quite like this before..."
Delmar raised a brow, turning in his seat to face Celestia. "I take that you're fascinated by our world's cars?"
Eagerly nodding, Celestia continued. "Yes, quite! What do they run on?"
Delmar stroked his chin with a hoof. "I remember that they used to run on oil-based fuels, but these days it's usually a split between solar and rechargeable batteries. Though, typically, it's a combination of the both."
"...Interesting." Celestia nodded, "So I take that these 'solar panels' draw energy from your Sun?"
"Yup!" I chimed in, answering for Delmar.
Celestia frowned. "But wouldn't that drain its energy? The Sun, I mean."
...Did she ever even pay attention in school?
"No," Delmar sighed, "The Sun generates its energy via nuclear fusion, and its byproduct, light, is what the solar panels utilize for energy."
Celestia nodded as she took in what Delmar said. "So it doesn't drain your Sun, but rather simply reduces the amount of available light for the world."
Delmar facehoofed, grimacing as he remembered that his hooves aren't exactly as soft as hands are, even though they are indeed already pretty soft compared to actual horse hooves.
As for answering Celestia's questions, this is gonna be a loooong ride.
"I'm hungry." Celestia stated flatly, "Are we there yet?"
Before Delmar or me I could answer, one of the diplomats cut in.
"We don't have any set destination, but we could stop by a restaurant if you'd like."
Celestia clapped her hooves. "Great!" she exclaimed, "What kinda food do you have here?"
I ran through my mental list. "Um..." I began, "Based on what I remember, most of the places around here are fast food, and there's a couple fancy places close to the lab where we came from."
How's the trip going?
Celestia and Delmar have been in this endless loop of asking and answering questions up until she got hungry. How's the portal going?
Well, since you seem to prefer your pony form, I dug out the original portal and the V.2 designs, so I guess I'll just set the portal to exit into the same location as the entrance or something after I adjust it to work more like V.2.
...Wait, so you're saying...
That this would essentially be a species-swapping machine? Yeah, I guess. Or at least, I hope.
Yeah, the last thing I need is another portal screwup. Not that I'm salty or anything.
Yeah, yeah. Have fun with the Queen.
I looked back up from the tablet. Celestia was squabbling about eating meat or something. I think.
"No," Celestia whined, "I want the fast-food place!"
She followed up by blowing a raspberry at whatever poor guy brought up the idea of going to a fancy restaurant. "I've had quite enough fancy to last for a while."
Nevermind. She's not complaining about meat-eating, as opposed to what I expected. Maybe she's like me and just doesn't really care about what she eats as long as it's not amounting to cannibalism.
"So..." I began, "What do you want then?"
Celestia pointed a hoof towards a nearby fried chicken place.
Hoo boy.
Log 4162: On the topic of meat-eating in Equestria and trade talks between some professional(?) diplomats and an inexperienced monarch
I watched awkwardly as Celestia hungrily scarfed down an entire bucket of fried chicken. As did literally everybody else in the restaurant. The staring, I mean. If everyone was stuffing their face like Celestia currently is, then whoever cleans the place would pretty much have the ultimate headache.
...
I should probably wash my hands next time before touching the screen of my tablet. I can't exactly manipulate it in very many ways anymore, so I've mostly resorted to hand-typing the logs. Though, if I'm in a quiet place I can usually still somehow manage to get the neural link working. Somehow. Either way, ew. Oily screen is oily.
"So..." one of the diplomats coughed, sidestepping to avoid any more grease from staining his tuxedo, "I take that you have experience in eating meat?"
Celestia nodded eagerly. "Yeah," she mumbled, flecks of food flying from her mouth, "What about it?"
I leaned close to her ear, and whispered, "Horses on Earth are typically herbivores, outside of rare occasions where they might have a tendency to kill small animals and eat them." I paused for a moment. "Oh yeah, and don't eat the hay here. It tastes like cardboard. That's why I like human food."
Celestia gave me a strange look after hearing that last part, but shrugged it off. "Well," she began, turning back to the diplomat guys that were now sitting clear across the table, "In Equestria, there's already humans, so I'm mostly used to eating meat and animal products... though, not cows. They're sentient... uh..."
And now we're at the sentient versus sapient thingamajig.
"They're sapient," I began, saving Celestia from becoming a stuttering mess, "Meaning that they are intelligent beings, as opposed to sentient, which means they're able to feel and perceive."
It's a good freakin' thing I watched the show. And I'll go ahead and thank whoever it is that created the dictionary-encyclopedia-thesaurus-plugin-app-thing on my tablet.
The same guy who was talking earlier raised a point. "But your Majesty," he began, finally using Celestia's 'proper title' or whatever, "if your kingdom includes human subjects, then why are you interested in opening trade relations?"
Celestia shrugged in response. "Considering that humans are a minority within Equestria, most appliances work off of the logic that a pony is using them, so humans have mostly done nothing more than copy the designs of what we ponies have already invented."
"And so..."
"And so the most important and 'high-tech', as you call it, invention as of now are helicopters and electric trains."
Hmm... I'd object and point out how Cloudsdale seems to be a giant piece of aerogel hovering in the air, but I'll hold that for later. Maybe.
The diplomat relaxed, and sunk back into his seat, probably relieved that there'd still be at least something viable for trading. Or at least, to ship off into Equestria for a profit.
"And what does Equestria have to offer for Earth?" he suddenly said, perking back up in his seat.
Celestia thought for a moment. With a lower level of technology than Earth does, there probably wouldn't be much to off--
"Magic." Celestia blurted, "We've got skilled mages and scholars that are able to perform magic."
Almost simultaneously, most of the diplomats cringed at the word "magic". Not because it's technically an unscientific umbrella term for the ability to in some cases manipulate the fabric of reality itself, but because usually you don't hear the word "magic" come up when you're talking about things your country has to offer.
"No, seriously," Celestia refuted, "Like, here..." she began, lighting up her horn, "Watch this."
The mostly-empty bucket of fried chicken lifted off of the table and began orbiting my head.
I swatted the bucket away in annoyance. "Yeah," I deadpanned, "That probably would've been more useful than literally stuffing your face in the bucket."
Celestia shrugged again, placing the bucket back down and continuing to eat.
This is probably the most awkward conversation that I've ever been part of...
So, not counting the mess that Celestia made of eating fried chicken while discussing Equestria, things have been going pretty smooth so far. We've since ditched the tour bus and instead kinda went around town on foot so Celestia could explore the city some more. I mean, sure, there's been quite a few awkward glances and even occasional children running up to her, but overall I'm pretty sure that the armada of security guards orbiting us are kinda scaring everyone away.
Hey, Gadget.
Hi, Ranell. How's it going?
One word: Tiring. With the portion of the grant that we've been given so far for yielding results with you coming through with Celestia, I've been able to at least offload some of the work I have onto more assistants. I didn't really ever expect to be doing... well, this at such a young age, and heck, I've been hard at work since I was discharged from the hospital we met in.
Yeah. That's nice.
Huh?
Sorry, gotta go for now. Talk later?
Sure.
"Hey," Celestia began, tapping my shoulder with a hoof.
"Huh?"
Celestia pointed in the direction of a plane that was currently crossing the sky.
"What's that?" She asked, still pointing. "It looks like some sort of flying machine, but I've never seen anything quite like it."
...So Equestria has helis, but no planes. Okay.
"They're airplanes." I replied, mirroring my thoughts. "You don't have them?"
Celestia shook her head. "Not anything that looks like those." she replied, "I mean, we've got some airships and helicopters, but those two are both focused more on capacity."
I smirked. "Since when did you suddenly know so much about Equestria?"
Celestia made a face, playfully jabbing me lightly in the side. "I said I never listened to lectures. I still pay attention to what's around me, doofus."
We continued walking a couple more blocks, Delmar being completely silent as usual as he shuffled along on the other side of me from Celestia.
"Do you think we could ride on an airplane?" Celestia asked, turning to me. I shrugged in return, and pointed at the flock of diplomats leading us around.
Welp. That was surprisingly easy.
'Cause now we're sitting on a freakin' private jet heading for wherever it is that Celestia would like to go.
...Wait, I can combine those modes?! Woooooooooow!
Celestia's muzzle was mushed against the airplane window as she watched the clouds pass underneath.
"My mom used to tell me to stay under the clouds," she began, "because she was afraid I'd be seen by spies."
"Huh?" I began, turning towards the queen. "Wait... you were kept hidden from the public the entire time until your mom died?"
Celestia shook her head. "Nah." she dismissed, "She let me outside of the castle, just as long as I stayed under cloud cover or in disguise."
For the first time in hours, Delmar spoke up, following up Celestia's remarks with his interpretation.
"I believe that Celestia means that as long as she wasn't spotted by any enemy nations, then she'd be allowed to roam as she wish."
"Yup." the queen confirmed in a distinctly not-so-royal fashion, "Just as long as it was underneath the cloud cover, which is the upper city limits of Cloudsdale, if I remember correctly."
I made a face. "Why?" I asked, "Equestria seemed safe enough."
Celestia scoffed at my reply. "Yeah, 'cause a certain mare's mother sacrificed herself to defend it."
"Sorry..."
Celestia dismissed me with a hoof. "It's fine. We all have our own moments."
"Yeah... I guess..."
Celestia turned back towards the window, gazing towards the near-endless expanse of sky.
"Though," she continued, "Like I said before, I've never really seen for myself what it looks like above the cloud level myself..."
"Technically, though," Delmar cut in again as he shifted in his seat, "We're actually in the middle of the so-called cloud level. There's more above us in the next atmospheric layer."
Celestia furrowed her brow, and turned her eyes upwards.
"I don't see any." she deadpanned, turning back to Delmar.
Delmar sighed in mild annoyance. "There's not always gonna be clouds in every layer," he continued, "because they're always moving, and being blown about by air currents."
"Ah." was all Celestia replied. She returned to watching the clouds pass underneath.
Well, I guess now's a better time than ever for a nap.
Well, that was a good na-- oh. Wow. We're still flying.
And from the looks of it, Celestia's been talking to Delmar and those diplomat guys in suits for at least an hour or two.
Queue the overly generic, annoying kid question.
"Are we there yet?" I groaned, looking around groggily.
"No." Delmar quickly replied, turning towards me for a brief moment. "We'll be landing in a couple more hours in a farming community. Celestia wants to see the rural infrastructure on Earth."
Hey, Gadget. How's it going with Celestia?
Good. You?
Things are starting to wind down now. Since all I basically had to do was modify the original portal to fit the specifications of the second portal and have the location set to a beacon placed in the same room, I'm pretty much finished with the thing.
That sounds nice. I'd kill to be a unicorn again. Being a human does have its upsides, but I personally find it a bit annoying to not be able to have magic like I normally do.
...You're kidding when you say that you'd kill for it, right?
Yeah, duh. So what're you thinking of doing now that your work is pretty much done?
Technically it's not fully complete yet. The next part of the portal project is to upscale the actual portal to be able to fit multiple lanes of traffic, since... y'know, trade and all...
Makes sense. But I meant what do you want to do once you finish with everything?
Honestly, I have no idea.
If you ask me, I think that we both need a break.
Yeah.
Log 4166: Happy little town in the middle of nowhere
We're landed, Celestia's making weird noises for the sake of not being bored, Delmar's still sleeping, and there's no internet... or at least, there isn't any wifi that I can find that I can connect to.
Why?
Well, we're kinda in a town that's just... out there.
Like as in, the private jet had to land on a strip of highway because there wasn't an airport kind of out there.
Not that it seems to bother the locals though. Seems like the diplomat guys must've called in advance or something, 'cause there's bales of freakin' hay with "Celestia" written on it. Literally. I'm pretty sure that the call probably consisted of something along the lines of "Oh hey yeah we've got a horse queen named Celestia visiting soon. Get ready!" or something like that.
As for me...
"Why isn't the girl in school, mommy?" I heard a toddler ask somewhere to my right as we filed along.
"She's probably much older than she looks." the mother in question answered dismissively, "You can probably ask her if you want."
The little boy ran up to me from between the crowds, as per his mother's suggestion, and proceeded to ask just that.
"Around eleven or twelve." I replied, "I'm honestly not really sure anymore..."
"Then why aren't you in school?" the toddler continued.
I smirked. "I guess you could say that I never really needed to go to school to begin with." I paused for a moment, realizing that I practically just suggested to him that skipping school entirely is an option. "--Though, it's because I already learned everything that I needed to know. If you study hard, then maybe you can finish early too!"
The kid grinned, and fled back into the crowd to his mom.
As for me, I continued walking, somewhat listening to the "tour guide" that we were now led by.
"...And that there's our water tower. Old thing's got quite a few leaks, but it does the job."
Celestia silently nodded as a young girl tried to shove hay into her mouth.
Celestia wrinkled her muzzle. "Ew." she spat, dropping the hay from her mouth, "That tastes like cardboard."
Yup. I definitely know what that crap tastes like.
"...Established in the mid twentieth-century as a potential industrial city by a wealthy entrepreneur, but soon afterwards, he fell out of favor with the various factories that wanted to build due to the rough terrain of the region."
Delmar raised a hoof, at first to swat away another hay offering, and next to ask a question.
"So, you're basically saying that this town was abandoned by its founders?" Delmar asked, eyeing what appeared to be relics of some sort of abandoned factory.
"Yup." the guide answered as we turned a corner, "After the only factory that was built here closed down, many of us resorted to self-sufficiency simply due to how remote our location is."
Delmar curiously scanned the streets around him, taking in the time period that the place seemed to be frozen in.
"I take that you've been self-sufficient for the past half a century or so because of the factory's closure?"
"Yup."
"And many of you are descendants of factory workers?"
"Yup."
"Have any of you even been outside of the town borders?" I groaned, cutting Delmar off before his next question.
"Well no duh. What did you think?" the guide answered instead of his usual yup, "We're not that isolated."
Celestia chuckled behind me from hearing my short exchange with the tour guide.
An awkward silence blanketed over the entire group, tour guides and all. Except it wasn't particularly that awkward, given how an event is only considered awkward according to the observer, but... eh. Yeah, awkward moment of silence.
"Puuuud-diiiiing!" a voice in the distance suddenly shouted.
What.
So, the sheer randomness of hearing "pudding" being shouted down the road earlier aside, I'll just assume that the aforementioned mention of pudding was probably just a parent calling their kids in for some or something like that.
As for Celestia, aside from her and Delmar repeatedly running from hordes of children trying to feed them hay, they seem to be pretty charmed by the tiny town.
Log 4167: Long, boring, bureaucracy talks, apaches, and exploding batteries
Ignoring the plane trip back mainly because I slept the entire time, Celestia now thinks that she's seen enough to make up her mind. So as a result, we're just kinda chilling at the lab while Celestia talks with the diplomats. Again.
Also, she saw Apaches. Like as in, the attack helicopter Apaches. She likes those kinda things apparently. Where did she see them? Of course we had to show her a military museum before we boarded the plane again.
Anyways, I'm kinda half-listening again to the conversation going on between Celestia and whoever the heck those diplomats are, 'cause I've neither asked what their names are, or cared what they are. They talk too much.
"...that you'll send a couple of those Apaches?"
"Only as long as you give us access to your so-called magitech knowledge."
"Deal!"
...So now apparently Celestia's gonna have Apaches. Okay.
Honestly, I kinda find the mental image of a Celestia screaming bloody murder from an Apache kinda funny. Just add a pair of sunglasses, a tiny but immensely frustrating being or object like a stale cake or something, and just have her firing round upon round into the thing.
Idunno. Just something funny.
"Yes, and indeed my mother likes cake quite a bit as well. So... how does this magitech work?"
"Take a look around you," Celestia began, pointing a hoof, "take all that technology you have sitting around, and replace it with simple, streamlined objects."
...Okay, cake bit was random, but I wanna hear about this.
Celestia took hold of a battery laying on a workbench. "Take, for example," she began, "this battery."
The thing rotated slowly in her levitation field as she spoke.
"While your world, as I've been told, has a heavy reliance on electricity and therefore energy storage thingies like this thingy," she continued, tossing the battery at a diplomat, surprising him, "Equestria instead relies on tapping into the innate and somewhat wasted energy of its surroundings. Take, for instance... charging your devices."
Celestia held out a hoof expectantly to show off the spell she used for the portal. "May I?"
I tugged lightly on Celestia's mane. "Um..." I began, "remember? You kinda nearly burnt the garage down last time you used that spell."
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Well, that was before Delmar here explained to me about how your electronics work."
The room went silent for a moment, as nobody really wanted to risk damaging their prized whatevers in their pockets.
Finally, one of the diplomats sighed, and looked down at his smartwatch, before taking the thing off and handing it to Celestia.
"Thanks." Celestia grunted, taking hold of the watch with her magic.
And once again, the lights in the room dimmed slightly as Celestia drew off of what I'd assume were the photons given off by the lighting fixtures.
The watch proceeded to blink a green light as it finished charging. And subsequently exploded.
"..."
Delmar facehoofed/facepalmed as the diplomat guy's face began to grow red.
"Woah, woah!" Celestia interjected, "It's okay."
She lit her horn again, and the tiny pieces of the watch littering the floor floated up towards towards her face. SLowly, piece by piece, the watch reassembled itself.
"There." Celestia began, tossing the fixed smartwatch back at the diplomat, "A bit harder than a puzzle, but I'd say that it didn't take too long."
The diplomat tapped on the watch's surface a couple times with a finger.
"It doesn't work." he deadpanned, slapping the watch onto the table with a huff.
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Well duh. The batteries were obliterated. I can't exactly do anything about that unless I know what it was made of."
I take that this isn't going quite well?
Nope. Come over here, we've got a watch for you to put some batteries in.
Sorry, I'm a bit busy right now. I'll send in one of the guys.
Almost immediately after that conversation ended, one of the lab workers lumbered into the room.
"See?" Celestia began, "That lady can fix it!"
The diplomat facepalmed slowly, and handed his watch to the woman that now stood beside him.
"...Eh." sh said dismissively, looking at the empty battery compartment, "Lithium-ion. We've got plenty of those."
She left without a word after getting the backplate from Celestia, and returned a couple minutes later with a fully-functional smartwatch.
"See?" Celestia said again, pointing with a hoof, "All that went wrong was that I didn't know how much power to give that thing."
She paused for a moment. "And at least it was just the battery that blew. It would've been much harder if the actual board itself was what fried."
"..."
Celestia looked up at the ceiling, then to me, then back at the diplomats.
Let's start this thing with a bit of a catch-up. Celestia's already gone back to Equestria to make sure she has room on the castle balcony for a heli pad, but she's coming back (hopefully) soon. Meanwhile, I'm here with Ranell and his... I guess, transmogrification device?
"So." I began, looking curiously at the re-tooled Portal V.1 that Ranell had brought out, "This'll basically turn me back into a tiny unicorn filly, and then spit me back out on the other side?"
"Yup." Ranell said. "Tested and everything."
I raised a brow. "And how did you test it?"
Ranell pointed at a lab assistant. Of whom was currently staring at his new hooves.
"I promised him a raise if he walked through."
I looked at the assistant, then back to Ranell. Assistant, Ranell. "Um..." I began, "You are able to do that, right?"
Ranell nodded. "Of course I am. I practically run this place!" he exclaimed, throwing up his arms.
Once again, I glanced back at the assistant, who was currently poking the pair of wings he had just discovered with a hoof.
"Is this thing reversible?" I asked, pointing at the transform-thing.
Ranell shrugged. "Hey Pete," he began, probably calling to the assistant, "Could you walk through this thing again from the other side?"
The stallion nodded silently, and did exactly what Ranell asked. Just like that, the pegasus was now gone, and instead in his place was a scrawny, probably 20-something intern.
Ranell turned back to me. "Yup." he confirmed.
Well, here goes nothing.
...
Just gonna close my eyes and ignore the crazy rainbow laser things inside this former portal...
...
Aaaaaand I already feel my horn's presence again.
Well, that was simple.
...
I guess I'll just wait here for Celestia or something.
Celestia burst through the portal with a massive grin on her face. And from the looks of it, she's pretty much set as far as finding a place for a helipad. So... I guess it's time for us to go back to Equestria now? I turned to face Delmar, who was currently dozing off on a stack of papers.
"Hey." I began, prodding the guy with a hoof, "Wake up, sleepyhead. Celestia's back."
Delmar yawned, waving a hoof back at me. "Just lemme sleep a bit more, Gadget. It's not like we have to leave for Equestria immediately."
"GADGET!" Celestia suddenly burst over my shoulder, "Get Delmar back through the portal, we've got helicopters to bring through!"
I facehoofed.
"C'mon," She continued, tugging at my tail, "Get him some coffee or something. Or maybe leave him behind for now."
"Nope. I'm not gonna leave him behind, and he deserves some sleep anyways." I shook my head. "Can't we just, like, levitate him back through the portal or something?"
Celestia paused for a moment, staring between me and Delmar. "Eh. Fine." She continued, "Let's go!"
A glow surrounded Delmar as he was lifted off the stack of papers. He snorted a bit before waking.
"Whuh?" He groaned, flailing lazily in the air, "Hey, put me down. I--" He yawned. "I can walk."
After Celestia put the guy back down, we set off through the portal.
Yaaaaaaay. More swirly colors... and Equestria!
I'm guessing that the trip back went well?
Yup. It sure did.
Good. See you on the other side!
Wait, WHAT?!
I'm just joking, geez. Anyways, enjoy your stay there!
"So..." I began, facing Celestia, "How are we gonna get something as big as an Apache helicopter through the portal?"
A heavy thump turned my attention to Delmar, who was once again faceplanted.
"Urk." He groaned, "Is that transformer machine thing that Ranell was working on finished yet?"
Oh. I forgot that he was also waiting to go through that thing. I turned to Celestia. "Um..." I tapped on her shoulder. "Could we wait for Delmar to go back through the portal and do something real quick?"
Celestia shrugged. "Sure." She replied, leaning against the still-burnt walls of the portal room. "I'm guessing he doesn't want to be a pony anymore?"
I nodded as I shoved Delmar back through the portal. Again.
So, with Delmar and I being back in our old bodies, we're back to Equestria!
"Celestia?"
I turned around, looking for the source of the voice.
"Celestia, watch out!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she collided with the Queen with a heavy whump, followed by her sister landing gracefully beside. The mare groaned as she stumbled back to her hooves. "Oh... uh, sorry, Princess."
Celestia raised a brow at Rainbow.
"...I mean Queen. Queen Celestia." Rainbow corrected herself, bowing. "Sorry for dropping in on you like that."
"Eh, it's fine," Celestia replied, turning back to me. "So, what now?"
Delmar stared blankly at me. Probably expecting an answer, I think. "Um." I began, "I guess we might as well make our way back to the castle?"
"Now then." Celestia sighed to herself, sitting on her throne surrounded by plushies, "Where to put a helipad."
Delmar shrugged. "I mean," He began slowly as he stared upwards, "You could put one on the roof, y'know."
"Yeah," I agreed. "Also, why did you want helicopters from Earth, anyways? It's not like you don't have your own already."
"Because they're cool!" Celestia squealed into a pillow on her throne, "My mom wouldn't've ever let me get one for myself, but..." I watched as her grin quickly drooped. "I guess, now that she's gone, I may do whatever I wish..."
"And?"
Everyone turned to Rainbow Dash, who'd still been following us with her sister the entire time.
