• Published 2nd Jul 2017
  • 818 Views, 127 Comments

Equestrian Human - TheMajorTechie

A filly once lived in a lab. That lab happened to be on Earth. She wanted to go home. She never knew what to expect.

  • ...

Log 4141: Definitely not.

Author's Note:

And here’s the third entry into the Lab Horse series!

I still kinda need cover art though... :unsuresweetie:

Don’t mind Gadget’s spew of short, detached thoughts.


This is certainly different.

First of all, I have to say that I’m absolutely relieved to know that we aren’t drifting in space, or the middle of an ocean for that matter. We’re just kinda stuck in a crater-pit thing. Not that that’s gonna do much to the transport capsule, considering as to how this thing is practically a dune buggy stuffed in a metal peanut.

As for the rest? Well, I’m suddenly a brunette now, judging by the locks of hair dangling in front of my eyes. Delmar’s just this lump underneath a pile of our emergency gear, which apparently got scrambled by the landing.

I kinda want to stay here and sleep some more in my seat, but taking into account how I’m currently sideways and facing the portal’s blinding light, I’d might as well get up.



Uh oh. Um... hrm...

Why can’t I unbuckle myself?! C’mon, horn, get me off of this thing! Why isn’t it working?! Ack!


I heard Delmar lightly groan from under the pile of stuff.

“HELP!” I screamed again, this time louder.

I reached out with a hoof to-- wait just a freakin’ second.

In front of me wasn’t the light-teal hoof I was used to for my entire life, but... a hand. Complete with fingers. Attached to an arm. Which in turn, is attached to me.

Finally, I looked down over myself, which, surprisingly, I didn’t do earlier. Yup. I’ve got the whole deal. No fluffy patch of blue anywhere. Just me, and the clothes that I apparently now have.

I wonder if that means that Delmar’s a pony?

Gadget, do you read?

I sure do, Ranell. I take that the portal is stable still?

Yup. I’m just checking in on you. The sensors inside the capsule haven’t detected any movement or activity until now,
so I just decided to take a look when it began to see some movement.

Hey, Ranell.


Guess what?


Wait just a moment... there.


Eh. I’ve donned disguises before, so I’m actually kinda used to bipedal walking, at least.

Well, I’ll be sending a probe through the portal just to see if we still need the launcher to send things through the portal.
If not, then I guess you can just come back over any time you want.


Well, with that out of the way, let’s see just how flexible these hands are when it comes to unbuckling seatbelts in tight places... yup. My tiny eleven year old hands (well, technically less than a day old since portal and all...) are perfectly fine.

Now then. Let’s take a peek at Delmar. Actually, scratch that. I’m gonna turn this thing right-side-up first.

Unit 42A-512 online. Please confirm user identity.

Identity confirmed via DNA analysis. User: Gadget

Gyroscope engaged. Detected abnormal unit positioning. Auto-adjustment in progress...

Nice. Nothing like accidentally throwing yourself against the floor by turning on some sensors. Given how my hair color changed so drastically, I’m frankly surprised that my DNA is still the same at all. Not to mention the fact that I’m apparently a human now.


How would the ponies react to me? Surely, to them, I’d pretty much be closer to some thing from the Everfree than any sentient being, right? Let’s see... gotta lay low, maybe. Oh, if I still had my horn, then maybe I could’ve disguised myself again, but obviously that kinda negates the point...

“Urkhh... Gaadjget? Yooooou awaaaake?”

Oh yeah, Delmar. Judging by his speech, his anesthesia still hasn’t completely worn off yet. I guess I’ll just have to drag his furry bottom out of the capsule then.

Though, without levitation, it’s gonna be considerably harder to get him out.

(Side note: I wonder what my actual given name is. Not to mention my birthday... heck, I don’t even know what day it is in Equestria.)

Welp. I guess if I want to get anywhere soon, I’d better start by dragging Delmar out of thi-- oh yeah. The capsule’s mobile. I can just drive him somewhere.

AAAAaaaalrighty then, let’s see how this thing drives!

Engaging mobility actuators.

Undocking from landing shield...

Successfully undocked. Vehicle is now fully mobile.

Hmm. Smooth. Not like “Oh, that guy’s smooth” kinda smooth though. I mean like as in “the suspension on this thing is amazing”. Like, seriously, if it weren’t for the fact that we just had to land in some unpopulated middle-of-nowhere, then we’d probably already have met some ponies from around.

To be honest, I actually have absolutely no idea where we are. There’s nothing in the show that this could possibly relate to. It’s not quite a desolate wasteland, it’s got sort of the weird magical feel of the Everfree, but... well, there’s no easy way to describe it. It’s just endless rows upon rows of old houses. I’m pretty sure that this place is a ghost town. Though, I can honestly see why, being that this place seems to be so distant from any neighboring civilization. By my guess, everyone probably just left because of the isolation.

Either way, driving around this place, I have a feeling that we should probably stay near the portal for now. It’s not exactly mobile, and who knows what could possibly travel through it back to Earth? So yeah. I’m just gonna park this thing here and send out some SOS messages over the radio until I can figure out where the heck we are.




Alrighty then. This place looks less broken down than the rest of the houses, so I guess we’ll set up camp here.

Also, I just realized that somehow I’m still mentally synced to this thing for logging, so that’s happening, I guess. On top of that, I just realized that the only thing that changed after the whole traveling through a portal ordeal is me and Delmar. Like, nothing else has changed in any way. Could it be a fluke in design? Some strange, looming figure that chooses what happens and what doesn’t? I have no idea.

Either way. Delmar’s starting to stir again, so I’m just gonna send out a generic SOS and see what he’s up to.

USER GADGET has activated function: Distress Signal with the following command switches: Auto (-a), Long-Range (-lr),
Radio frequency (-rf).

System has detected a reply to signal. Message:

Thank you for subscribing to cat facts daily.

Your message has been received by Twilight S. of the Equestrian Citizen Safety Initiative (ECSI). Your position has been triangulated, and a team has been sent to your aid. Please remain in your location. Help will arrive shortly.

This message has been auto-generated. Do not reply.


Wait, what?

Twilight S.





Twilight. Sparkle.


Log terminated by the user.