Twilight Sparkle let out an exasperated groan as she trotted back into the train car. “Well, Blueblood is dead,” she declared dryly.
“… And we’re celebrating?” a nasally male’s voice enquired.
Twilight narrowed her eyes at the source of the voice. A smaller than usual gray earth pony stallion with a short black mane and emerald eyes who was sitting next to Pinkie, an eyebrow raised.
“No, Dan!” Twilight exclaimed. “Somepony killed him and you’re kind of suspect number one!”
“What! This is outrageous!” Dan cried.
Pinkie puffed her lips out into a pout. “Yeah, Twilight! Dan couldn’t have murdered Blueblood! He was here the entire time, yelling at the ticket collector and beating him with a suitcase!”
Rarity let out a heavy sigh. "You just had to pick the gold-flaked floral one... I love the gold-flaked floral one."
Spike stood up in his seat and turned to face Rarity. "You told me you loved all of them, like they were your children!"
Rarity gave Spike a nervous smile. "Of course I love all my luggage like they were children, Spike! Just... some of them are under-achievers."
“There! You see!” Dan said motioning to Pinkie with his hooves. “Alibi! It’s like you just have it out for me or something!”
“Seriously?” Twilight replied with an unamused expression.
“Ya do seem to pick on him a bit, sugarcube,” Applejack pointed out.
“I know, right?” Rainbow Dash agreed from her seat next to Applejack.
“It is kind of obvious,” Fluttershy interjected.
“Yeah! Dan didn’t do anything wrong!” Insisted Spike. “I mean… except for commit assault on a poor pony just doing his job, that is.”
“He had a tone!” Dan insisted.
Pinkie nodded in agreement. “The ticket checker could have been politer, for sure…”
Rarity shook her head in Twilight’s direction. “Really, darling. It’s getting old.”
Twilight let out an exasperated “Ugh!” and made an about-face. “Fine, I’ll solve the murder myself since it seems like nopony cares!”
“We really don’t,” Dan replied as Twilight stormed off in a huff.
I am happily surprised at the presence of Dan! Do not worry Dan. Someday, you will go to Equestria in that wonderful story you share with Pinkie...
Because, you have to Meet the Parents sometime!
Okay, this was unexpected but tons of fun.
What next? The 'Love Tap' edition where Blueblood is found strangled with a controller cord because he was on competitive gaming and made Button cry by claiming he'd 'f*cked your Mom', or something equally immature and possibly more graphic?
And her defense is, "Well, I originally planned to fold him in half and make him choke on his own d*ck, but he wouldn't bend that far. I didn't think my level of flexibility was so rare."
Followed by any stallion in the cab turning to Button's Dad and saying, "You lucky sonuvabitch."
After Love Tap, Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants please?
Throax's brother should be next on the list of suspects.