one word more

7901395 what do you mean

it was 1 of your best chapters

7902127 oh well thank you

Captilization, grammar, less excessive puncuation, and word choices! Fix these and your story becomes better by virtue of being easier to read. As it stands, its alright, but it is not all that it can be!

7976330 noted I'll fix stuff when I get the chance. I'm writing it in google docs and it doesn't always catch everything

Please continue.

7985098 I've been busy with school so I'm trying to work on it as I can