A little of this, a little of that, and a lot of love for ponies, (especially best pony AJ)
Applejack is trapped inside the Sweet Apple Acre's barn after escaping from a relentless enemy who will stop at nothing to obtain her once again. Will she manage to evade the clutches of those seeking her or will she be able to even get out of the barn alive?
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Very confused at the plot thus far. Your writing is great. One small suggestion I have, is to back off on the "Bucks" and the various shouting from AJ. Although in character, I think she's a bit more humble to do such things in that great of an extent. Best of luck to you. I'll keep a watch on this one.
Hmm, interesting start. Very ambitious with the whole "changelings have gone rouge and are now killing us off" sorta deal. And as for the confusion: good. Keep your readers in the dark and surprise them. Overall, I give you a passing grade.
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This was pretty good to say the least.
AppleJack was in character except for her shouting a lot, and the ending was neat.
Very impressive.....I always love dark stories and AJ is one of my favorites.....you do have a very spelling and grammer errors though but it happens to the best of us....I enjoyed this dark-hearted story, damn changlings...got to love the villians, hoping to see more of somethnig like this. Peace.
Thanks to everyone for the comments.It seems the biggest issue I'm having here is of "over-cursing AJ"
Thank you all for the helpful feedback there. I'll edit a few out when I get some time and see if it helps it any.
Over a decade since this author checked in, but I still read and reviewed this. A good start with tension and mystery, but sadly it drops the ball later on.