le first~

7646323 You know I would write "first reply" here if I weren't so trashy...

Wait...

7646338

did you just call yourself "trashy" mate?

I had a feeling it was Gale, but Cherry just dared a stallion who knows all of her presser points and has the will to use them any way he sees fit, she's not going to be walking straight for a year.

Also Gale's not some kind of Alicorn right? after all Cherry did feel magic, but he's a pegasus, right?

Aw, my thoughtful hopes of tentacles were dashed... but at the same time, this makes too much sense

7646405

Actually he's a unicorn, but that's explained mostly in Chapter 3. so no he's not some kind of Alicorn.

7646416

Hehehe I should probably write about the tentacle pits sometime.

7646436

I already have dibs on that, WenHen.

Goddamn it! I thought all I wanted was this chapter of the story, but with this ending now I want the next chapter even more than I wanted this one. You need to stop writing something so hot before my mind breaks from the anticipation.

PLEASE DON'T STOP!

7646450

Oh well then be my guest!

7646459

But sir, that's her job! And as her editor, it's my job to achieve the maximum edging without making you go over!

7646469 I'm starting to think that the people who are really getting tortured in this fic are the ones reading it. It's just too damned good!

There is a word I have for this... and that word.. is *pomf*.

But on a more serious note... the pacing with this is fantastic. And the developments between these two are setting the stage that there's way more to the events happening for the sake of kinky events happening. The pairing with the art is also swag. Keep it up.

7646551 Oh yes thank you very much, grabbed it from my collection and didn't think about changing it!

Edit: yeah I am a massove fallout: equestria nerd! XD

7646543 Thank you very much! I do hope the next chapter will be as good!

7646580 I'm lookin' forward to it.

7646580 I see a few of other refrences along as I read. we'll see. i try to comment on each new chapter, so keep them coming.

Seeing Pegasi use the style is intresing. A user not restricted by air and one fully used up to his wings [Not what the fetishes give] sounds pretty scray from a tactical standpoint...

It's an interesting story so far, I hope it will keep being as good as it is now, I would have preferred to see a reversal of role.

Cherry most certainly couldn’t recall an overwhelming sense of lust like the one that was starting to cloud her mind being a part of it.

I take it the collar colors mean she knows what can be done to her?

Her tongue listlessly hung from her mouth and a trail of saliva ran down her chin, dripping to the floor below.

Now that is a cute image.

She had only really seen a phaser once before and it certainly hadn’t been used on her.

And they have always been set to stun!

I kinda knew it was going to be Gale despite Cherry thinking she saw a black coat. Though I am now left wondering what that was.

I don't know why, but I want Cherry to ring the bell. In BDSM stories I don't think I have ever seen the safe word used, it is always just there. I know it is there in case things go to far, but I still wants it use so all aspects of the relationship can play out. Maybe I like the idea of the sub reasserting control.

i don't know but, i think given the chance, i might take it...

“Y-Yes Maaaaaaster!”

The master identity. Why this way? It was painfully obvious. I know it's a story abaut pain but I still have no idea why didn't you add 2 or 3 false leads... But I like the incoming struggle.

7646450 No! I call dibs on that!

7646436 I await with joy!

7647575

Too late. Called it in the Discord group

7647585 Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo!

7647589

EVIL DOM LAUGH

Looks like Cherry is going to be turned into a pleasures induced mess of cum and sweat

Damn good can't wait for more

Liked

NOICE!

She doesn't really seem to be tortured at all. More like it is still a play session.
Also I wouldn't think he would give her things to do that are impossible. If it's completely impossible she doesn't feel like she failed a request. It should still be possible for her to do it.

Her hind hooves were pulled and attached to a raised surface, spreading them forcefully, all her weight was supported on her shoulders, there was no pressure on her wings as she lay there flank up in the air

Equine anatomy is slightly different from human anatomy. If you pull the hinds legs up too high it will hide the vagina.

Okay the opening paragraph works great, good tone to set.. see if that continues. Focus on something that.. yeah she'd be thinking in or out of character, this sucks. But also, focusing on how much it sucks rather then fear, or terror... the sucking aspect, that's going to be real in or out of play. And the getting nervous, that works great, and for both in and out of character reasons. Even in play, in character, something like this, yeah being a bit nervous is natural, even intellectually knowing you are safe, you can't tell that primitive part of you about it. There are going to be thing that, just won't NOT trigger that response.. and that is half the point of doing this stuff, why everything tries to be as real as possible, to give you that feeling, to help make it more real... but without being SO real that nerves transfer into outright, genuine fear. And out of character, she knows what she's getting into and yeah, something to be nervous about, especially since it's clearly something she wants. So all in all, the opening bit REALLY sets a great tone for things compared to how the last chapter ended.

She only caught a glimpse of the pony’s hooves as her sight was taken from her not a second later by a blindfold, while her gag was removed from her muzzle.

Wait when did she actually get INTO the room, last we saw she was still in the tunnel being lowered, nothing showed her reaching the ground, or even the room.

And not sure if this is meant to be her trying to act In character like she doesn't know, or really does not know who is down there. Either feels rather odd. unless... okay she really did not know WHO this would be, just signed up to have the Guild drag her down and break her.

She shivered in excitement and could already feel a bead of arousal running down her marehood at the,

Abnd yeah, better tone switch, this is really all about pleasure, about ponies feeling good, so.. keep it that way, make it clear that for all the trappings, all that might seem wrong.. she really is enjoying this.

“Wait a minute… that’s Autumn Delight’s ballad of- oh buck.”

This was cute. And funny.

Curse these wings. I hate it when they do this. Can’t even pull them to my sides

YAY Wingboners!

She was quite impressed with that last fact; not many unicorns did this by hoof. The final touch was her hoof cuffs being bound together.

And yeah so far this is amazing, just, details like these, the subtly show the actual care going on, that show the true reality, not trying to build this up as something 'real' as anything she has to be afraid of, her reactions have all made sense for where she is, nervous, afraid of being punished, but fully in the way of someone in the role would be, still kind of fear pain, but also clearly being turned on. Add in this, the way it's clear her Dom cares for her, that this is all part of the play, the role, but showing little ways he cares, like the details of how perfectly comfortable the harness is, and the care he put into putting it on her. Just his overall actions have been great, a good mix of in control, but caring.

. It left her weak and unable to do anything about the cruel, wicked activities he was planning for her. “If the harness gets uncomfortable or it hurts, ring your bell three times. I don’t want a damaged instrument.”

And again.. this.. this is just... ALL THE YES, this is what I go into CTS stories for, well at least one of the things I find the greatest about them. Subtle little things like this, the layers of meaning, the making clear to the reader that this is all safe, that there is no danger, that you can enjoy this without worry, tension, anxiety over what might happen, by reinforcing this is all a game, while not outright breaking the 'game'. First, her own internal monologue is spot on, feeling just cheesy and stilted enough in the right way to feel exactly like somepony trying to psyche themselves up, trying to think in a role, not really nervous, but excited over the thought. Second, the safety bell, the reminder of how easy this stops, but also how much he cares that he outright reminds her. While disguising it as in character motivations that do make sense. THIS is amazing CTS writing, at least for what I look for in a CTS story and very well handled so far.

he growled in that authoritative voice that made her marehood tingle with excitement.

Do i need to say it again? SOOO good, blending the nervousness, the feel.. but also.. the comfort, the arousal, making clear it's from the nervousness, the unknown, that she is being aroused and loving this.. but also keeping her nervous, it's striking just the right balance.

like the one that was starting to cloud her mind

Ehhhhh thiiiis however.. is getting close to the line. 'clouding the mind' is not a good ting, at all, when everything hinges on clear, reasoned, thoughtful consent and knowing when to call a stop. I do get the Clocktails are never meant to actually impair thought, just, add a bit of extra fun, and this is Root, so going more extreme works, and more likely to use these freely as the ponies would be better able to handle them. So giving her the drink, not the issue, it's that wording choice. Very, very poor choice of words given the setting trying to be maintained.

the painful sting of a syringe making contact with her flank and delivering a dose of Celestia knows what… not knowing making it all the more exciting.

Ehhhhh back into ehhhh terrotry, BUT this time it's almsot fully personal "Alright to far" terroritory then anything REALLY wrong.... ugh needles... also injections in this.... yeah, it kind of works, and I get this Root level stuff only, but yeah, as we talked about before adding this in there, a bit of detail on Root level play and it's limits etc.. would have been nice, still nice follow up with her being excited about it, and we know it can't be anything really dangerous.

but oh did it hurt in all the right ways.

Ohhh wrong pic.. given how far Twilight is from even comprehending the most basic facts about this type of stuff.

She came to relish in every moment of being played like an instrument, His instrument.

Damn this is intense, in all the right ways, and just SO damn good, firmly established the 'game' aspect, made clear what this really is, and now, just letting them get into it, truly enjoy themselves, and making clear it IS enjoyment overall. And building that up so WELL just... ohhhhhh, not a 'I'll be in my bunk' type of think either but hitting way deeper then that. Very well done....

thrown into the abyss of a screaming, mind-shattering climax, the blackness of her vision turning white as her mind and body was simply overwhelmed with the rush of endorphins.

Oh that's a damn good orgasm description.

it was the perfect climax, save for the lack of a warm body wrapped around her.

Seriously the build up.. the actual climax, even the aftermath just... just FUCK this was some damn well done stuff for her. Also, the added little in story acknowledgement that this is still part of the 'game' with her knowing he was making her 'fail' and just using it as an excuse for what was planned next, very subtly weaving this narrative for her as realistically as possible, while still clearly caring and not really trying to hurt her. In ways she doesn't like at least.

he was using his hooves rather than magic.

Or mouth?

Though, there was always the possibility the sound of magic had been a diversion in the first place.

Which would imply third party...... nice if subtle.

It was probably more painful than anything she’d ever experienced before

Okay the safety guide on those things more or less states to not fuck around with the settings on ponies you do not know the tolerance for. Granted her being here likely means high level, but still.... tisk tisk. Poor form, gonna have to dock the dom some points for that.

. It had hurt yes, but it was a kind of pain she enjoyed. The kind of sensation that made her crave more of it,

Okay, only half a point off.. you got lucky.

on pressure points only another pegasus should know.

Or ponies with a detailed records keeping and a LONG history of finding the bet ways to inflict pain without damage.

Also wing play... ALL THE UNF!!!!!

all her weight was supported on her shoulders

Not all the safe a position to be in for long iirc.....

he snapped, his voice angry, despite the tiny bit of concern apparent in his eyes.

See above gushes about this.

He followed the slap with a kiss to the cheek, though his uncaring expression remained intact — the same expression she knew he used every day while he was on duty.

PLOT TWIST... yeah just got that... also... wow that had a reason.. also also, that was sweet.

though it felt as hollow and as meek as she did. The thought of going back to random strangers after this... it seemed almost pointless to her. He had pushed all of her buttons in just the right way…

Ohhh I like this I really really like this, showing how yeah he won her over by being the perfect dom for her. But still the act, make him 'break' her, while showing us, right away, that he's won and why, and it's not 'breaking' her it's pleasing her just.. this this is just.... seriously I've gushed how much about how well this story is doing things? This is perfect it, it works on both the meta level, making clear to the reader what is going on, that she is NOT 'being broken' or that being beaten till she obeys, or anything, that she is already agreeeing siply out of how GOOD he is at this and how much it's what she wants. On the first in narrative level of the real world in fic, of her wanting this for the right reasons and being fully open to this, and in the game level, with trying to fight, make him work.. just SO DAMN GOOD!

“Fine, but you asked for it, slavething.”

Seriously any issues I had with the setup? still there but, now? OH DAMN WAS THIS AMAZING!

Guessing by 'your name on the list' that subs sign up to have this happen, after proving they can handle it, and then just wait for a qualified Dom to pick their name?

Not much else to say.. oh and I even like the end point her taunting him wanting to see how far she can push him, it is AMAZING and shows, yeah subs can have power too and sometimes push their dom harder... just... THIS WAS AMAZING and just... not even in any sexy, cloppy, get off to it way cause, none of this is really a fetish for me.. I just love the layers of narrative and the emotional intensity (okay the wing play is a bit of one) but just, it had such good perfectly times intensity, lasting just long enough breaking just right keeping it all simply... simply... OH DAMN THIS WAS AMAZING!

So, in short, the Well is the pleasure version of Room 101 from George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four?

The brat in me can't help but giggle fiercely at that ending! Make me!